Testing SpeedwayMedia.com

Category: NASCAR Top-10 Power Rankings

Jeff’s NASCAR Top-10 Power Rankings

  • NASCAR Top-10 Power Rankings: Talladega

    NASCAR Top-10 Power Rankings: Talladega

    Note: The quotes in this article are fictional.

    1. Jeff Gordon: Gordon ran up front much of the day at Talladega before he was collected in the “Big One” on lap 137. He finished 39th, his worst finish of the year, 32 laps down, but held on to the lead in the Sprint Cup points standings.

    “Brad Keselowski really made a mess,” Gordon said. “Sure, it was the ‘Big One,’ but a lot of drivers think Brad is the ‘Biggest One.’

    “Hey, the new season of ‘24’ starts soon. I haven’t won a Sprint Cup title since 2001, so I’m longing for the old season of ’24.’”

    2. Joey Logano: Logano was collected in a lap 175 wreck when Jimmie Johnson got loose and triggered a pileup that knocked Logano from the race. Logano finished 32nd, and is now sixth in the points standings.

    “Johnson and Brad Keselowski wiped out half the field, it seemed,” Logano said. “Their reputations may precede them, but accidents seem to follow them.

    “Sure, NASCAR fined Marcos and Ambrose for fighting. But I think NASCAR wants this type of conflict. The ‘Boys have at it’ has become the ‘Fine, And Dandy’ mentality.”

    3. Matt Kenseth: Kenseth finished a disappointing 37th after sustaining damage in a lap 137 crash triggered when Brad Keselowski spun, affecting 14 cars. Kenseth is second in the points standings, three behind Jeff Gordon.

    “That was a mind-boggling move by Keselowski,” Kenseth said. “That’s said with just a hint of sarcasm. And, as we all know, ‘mind-boggling’ leads to ‘head-shaking,’ which, in turn, can lead to ‘neck-throttling.’ Brad’s taken knockout qualifying one step further to knockout racing.”

    4. Dale Earnhardt, Jr.: Earnhardt hung back in an effort to avoid the inevitable late carnage at Talladega. He succeeded, but in doing so was too far back to make a run to the front. He finished 26th, and is now fourth in the points standings, 19 behind Jeff Gordon.

    “I played it safe,” Earnhardt said. “Sure, maybe I wasn’t giving my all to win, which is a violation of NASCAR’s ‘100 percent’ rule. But I was following the ’80 percent’ rule. ‘100 percent’ minus ’80 percent’ equals ‘20 percent,’ also known as ’40 proof’ to the fans of Junior Nation.”

    5. Kyle Busch: Busch finished 12th at Talladega as Joe Gibbs Racing teammate Denny Hamlin scored the victory. Busch is now third in the points standings, four behind Jeff Gordon.

    “That was a great run by Denny,” Busch said. “He really made a statement today, and you can see it in his attitude. Now, that sparkle in his eye isn’t a piece of metal.”

    6. Brad Keselowski: Keselowski ran into trouble on lap 14 when he made contact with Danica Patrick, which sent the No. 2 Miller Lite Ford sliding down the track and into the infield grass. Later, on lap 137, he lost control and caused the ‘Big One,’ collecting 14 cars. Keselowski eventually finished 38th, 28 laps down.

    “It was a tough day for the No. 2 Miller Lite Ford,” Keselowski said. “I can’t get out of here fast enough. I packed everything. I’m even taking blame and responsibility.

    “But I plan to bounce back at Kansas. Hopefully, that ‘bounce’ won’t be off several cars, as was the case at Talladega.”

    7. Jimmie Johnson: Johnson struggled in the Aaron’s 499, finishing 23rd after a lap 175 spin that knocked out Joey Logano, among others. Still winless on the year, Johnson is seventh in the points standings, 43 out of first.

    “I just lost it,” Johnson said. “I can’t apologize enough to those affected. But how many apologies are enough? Most say six is more than enough. Not me. I’m aiming for a legendary number of apologies.”

    8. Carl Edwards: Edwards had a strong run in the Aaron’s 499 cut short when he cut a tire with six laps to go and started a wreck that took out several cars. Edwards eventually finished 30th, six laps down.

    “You may have seen me warn the cars behind that I had a flat,” Edwards said. “I did that by waving my hand out of my window. I’m surprised anyone understood, because that’s four more fingers than most drivers are used to seeing out of the window of a NASCAR driver.”

    9. Denny Hamlin: Hamlin outdueled Kevin Harvick on a restart with two laps to go to take his first win of the season, the crash-filled Aaron’s 499 at Talladega.

    “Joey Logano notwithstanding,” Hamlin said, “I can honestly say I was happy to see ‘yellow’ coming at me.”

    10. Kevin Harvick: Harvick led with two laps to go at Talladega, but was passed by Denny Hamlin. With no draft help, Harvick faded to seventh, his fourth top-10 result of the year.

    “I couldn’t get a push from anyone,” Harvick said. “Certainly not from Casey Mears. After what went down in Richmond, he’s afraid to ‘push’ anyone.”

  • NASCAR Top-10 Power Rankings: Richmond

    NASCAR Top-10 Power Rankings: Richmond

    Note: The quotes in this article are fictional.

    1. Jeff Gordon: Gordon led 173 of 400 laps at Richmond, but his quest for his first win of the season fell short. He finished second behind Joey Logano after a spirited four-car battle for the win during the final laps. Gordons leads the Sprint Cup points standings, five ahead of Matt Kenseth.

    “This race had everything,” Gordon said. “Excitement, controversy, confrontation, and a punch. Marcos Ambrose really let Casey Mears have it. I guess you could say the Australian gave him a ‘vegemite knuckle sandwich.’ It was ‘Aus-some!’

    “NASCAR doesn’t have the guts to admit it, but I think Ambrose’s punch was good for the sport. There’s plenty of ‘talking smack’ is NASCAR; finally, someone actually did more than just talk it.”

    2. Joey Logano: Logano started fourth on the race’s final restart and zoomed to the lead as Matt Kenseth, Jeff Gordon, and Brad Keselowski jockeyed for position. Logano took the lead with three laps to go and held on for his second win of the year.

    “I passed three NASCAR Sprint Cup champions,” Logano said. “While Kenseth and Gordon were sandwiching Keselowski, ‘Sliced Bread’ stole the win. Thanks to my teammate for helping me with the win. Brad then jumped on my hood to congratulate me. I’m not surprised. Just ask Kenseth. Brad was feeling a little ‘froggy.’

    “Marcos Ambrose punched Casey Mears. That aggressiveness inspired me, so I punched my ticket. Here’s hoping it doesn’t punch back.”

    3. Matt Kenseth: Kenseth lead on the final restart and valiantly held off Jeff Gordon and Brad Keselowski, but in doing so allowed Joey Logano to slip by for the win. Kenseth finished fifth and was confronted after the race by Keselowski, who accused Kenseth of blocking.

    “Brad had some words from me,” Kenseth said. “He can get mouthy when he’s angry just as easily as he can get ‘gummy’ when he smiles.

    “But there’s no place for violence in this sport, at least not from me. If I ‘raise my hand,’ you can rest assured it’s because I want to ask a question.”

    4. Dale Earnhardt, Jr.: Earnhardt finished seventh in the Toyota Owners 400, posting his sixth top 10 of the year. He is fifth in the points standings, 32 behind Jeff Gordon.

    “I don’t appreciate getting caught up in Brad Keselowski’s desire for vengeance,” Earnhardt said. “He’ll ‘pay’ for this, most likely with a ‘brake check.’”

    5. Kyle Busch: After rough going for the better part of Saturday’s race, Busch stormed to the front on the final restart and claimed third in the Toyota Owners 400. He is now fourth in the points standings, 31 behind Jeff Gordon.

    “What a great run by Joey Logano,” Busch said. “But he’s not the happiest driver of the day. That would be my brother Kurt. He’s thrilled that someone got punched and it wasn’t him.

    “But let’s be serious for a minute. Ambrose and Mears finished 18th and 19th, respectively. Is that worth a punch in the eye? By that rationale, Danica Patrick and Ricky Stenhouse, Jr., who finished 34th and 38th, could have very well scrapped. In that case, someone would have taken one right in the kisser.”

    6. Brad Keselowski: Keselowski battled for the lead late at Richmond, but was held at bay by Matt Kenseth’s tactics, which were dirty, according to Keselowski. Keselowski finished fourth as Penske Racing teammate Joey Logano took the win.

    “Kenseth tried to run me into the wall,” Keselowski said. “I called it a ‘mind-boggling’ move. What’s really mind-boggling is that I found it mind-boggling.

    “We had a car honoring Detroit Genuine Parts. Detroit is known for its car parts. The city is littered with them.”

    7. Jimmie Johnson: Johnson lost a front tire with 34 laps to go at Richmond and limped home to a 32nd-place finish. He is now eighth in the points standings and still winless on the year.

    “It’s been a tough year for us so far,” Johnson said. “But, despite being a six-time Sprint Cup champion, I’m human just like every other driver. The worse that can happen to me is the same as the worse that can happen to them—-not winning the championship.”

    8. Carl Edwards: Edwards took ninth at Richmond, recording his fifth top-10 result of the year. He remained third in the Sprint Cup points standings and trails Jeff Gordon by 28.

    “Robert Griffin III drove the pace car at Richmond,” Edwards said. “He was recruited by Dale Earnhardt, Jr. Those two have a lot in common; they’ve never won a championship, and they both like white women.”

    9. Ryan Newman: Newman finished eighth in the Toyota Owners 400, posting his fourth top 10 of the year. He stands ninth in the points standings, 69 out of first.

    “Casey Mears got KO’d,” Newman said, “while Brad Keselowski got PO’d. I’m shocked….shocked that Ambrose’s punch wasn’t an uppercut. If it had been, we could say that the punch, much like Ambrose himself, came from ‘Down Under.’”

    10. Kevin Harvick: Harvick finished 11th at Richmond, posting the top finish among Stewart-Haas Racing drivers. Race winner Joey Logano joined Harvick as the only two-time winners this season.

    “What a race!” Harvick said. “And what a punch by Marcos Ambrose. I’m sure that left Casey Mears with a black eye, which, in NASCAR’s eyes, is proof enough that the ‘Drive For Diversity’ program is working.”

  • NASCAR Top-10 Power Rankings: Darlington

    NASCAR Top-10 Power Rankings: Darlington

    Note: The quotes in this article are fictional.

    1. Jeff Gordon: Gordon finished seventh in the Bojangle’s Southern 500 and held on to the lead in the Sprint Cup points standings. He leads Matt Kenseth by one point.

    “I’m surprised Kenseth didn’t win a race sponsored by Bojangles,” Gordon said, “because he knows chicken better than anyone.

    “But the ‘Drive For Five’ is still alive. And if I win the Sprint Cup title, you can best believe I’ll ride off into the sunset. If not, I might call it a day, anyway.”

    2. Dale Earnhardt, Jr.: Earnhardt took second at Darlington, posting his fifth top-3 finish of the season. Earnhardt is fourth in the points standings, 26 behind Jeff Gordon.

    “I’m sponsored by the National Guard,” Earnhardt said. “Is Kevin Harvick sponsored by the Navy? Because his wife curses like a sailor.

    “As Harvick proved, tires were the most important factor in winning. Maybe we should have put on those extra two tires. I guess you could say we failed. Of course, it’s surely not the first case of ‘blown’ tires this year.”

    3. Jimmie Johnson: Johnson took the lead with a two-tire pit stop on a caution with ten laps to go at Darlington. Harvick eventually chased down Johnson and passed Dale Earnhardt, Jr. for the lead on the final lap. Johnson finished third and is now fourth in the points standings, 27 behind Jeff Gordon.

    “I’m still winless on the year,” Johnson said. “But winning isn’t everything. Otherwise, I’d have everything. Harvick can have his four tires; I’ll take my six Cups. Unlike those tires, those Cups will last forever.”

    4. Kevin Harvick: Harvick’s four tire pit stop on the final caution at Darlington proved the difference. Harvick, restarting fifth, chased down Jimmie Johnson and Dale Earnhardt, Jr, to secure the win in the Bojangle’s Southern 500.

    “We were ‘great’ in ‘Darlington,’” Harvick said. “Taking four tires was a ‘good decision.’ Those weren’t the only ‘G.D.’s’ heard at Darlington.

    “Gene Haas of Stewart-Haas Racing is planning to field a Formula 1 team in 2015. Gene’s got the money to make it work. He’s loaded. He has to be. Reportedly, he couldn’t pay Tony Stewart enough to have Kurt Busch as a teammate.”

    5. Matt Kenseth: Kenseth claimed fourth at Darlington, posting his sixth top-10 result of the year. He is second in the points standings, trailing Jeff Gordon by a single point.

    “The call Darlington Raceway the ‘Lady In Black,’” Kenseth said. “They call Delana Harvick the ‘Lady In Blue’ because of her language. Harvick may be the best driver never to win a Cup championship. Maybe he’s cursed.”

    6. Carl Edwards: Edwards finished 13th at Darlington, as Roush Fenway teammate Greg Biffle was the only Ford in the top 10. Edwards is third in the points standings, 19 behind Jeff Gordon.

    “How is Delana Harvick like the Aflac duck?” Edwards said. “They’re both ‘fowl-mouthed.’”

    7. Kyle Busch: Busch finished sixth at Darlington, joining Joe Gibbs Racing teammate Matt Kenseth, who finished fourth, in the top 10. Busch is sixth in the Sprint Cup points standings, 28 out of first.

    “My brother Kurt was wrecked by Clint Bowyer,” Busch said. “Rest assured, Kurt won’t take that lying down. Or at least not before an open-handed slap takes him off his feet.”

    8. Joey Logano: Logano blew an engine with ten laps to go at Darlington and finished 35th, 15 laps down. He fell four spots in the points standings to eighth, 52 out of first.

    “Hey,” Logano said, “I wasn’t the only one cursing my blown engine.”

    9. Brad Keselowski: Keselowski finished 17th at Darlington on a disappointing day for Penske Racing. Teammate Joey Logano suffered an engine failure, while Keselowski dealt with handling issues late in the race.

    “With no top 10 finishes in the last five races,” Keselowski said, “I haven’t looked like a Cup contender. We’re heading to Easter for a much needed break, and hopefully I’ll be a lot better upon returning. Just call it a ‘Kes-urrection.’”

    10. Kyle Larson: Rookie Of The Year candidate Larson finished seventh in the Bojangle’s Southern 500, scoring his second straight top 10 and fourth of the year.

    “I earned my Darlington stripe,” Larson said. “The ‘Lady In Black’ always leaves an impression. But I think I did the same. Hopefully, this driver of the No. 42 Target car will leave a mark, and not just leave.”

  • NASCAR Top-10 Power Rankings: Texas

    NASCAR Top-10 Power Rankings: Texas

    Note: The quotes in this article are fictional.

    1. Jeff Gordon: Gordon took the lead on a late two tire pit stop, but was unable to hold off Joey Logano, with four tires, down the stretch at Texas. Gordon’s runner-up finish, his second of the year, moved him to the top of the points standings.

    “I still like our two tire strategy at that point,” Gordon said. “If you put on four Goodyear tires there, the odds of one of them exploding is doubled.

    “Texas Motor Speedway has a 12-story high HD video screen. If it displays a picture of Jeremy Mayfield, would that be considered “high” resolution?”

    2. Jimmie Johnson: Johnson’s No. 48 Chevrolet suffered early damage as debris from Dale Earnhardt Jr.’s wreck damaged the front of his car, including the windshield. Johnson eventually finished in 25th, two laps down, and is now sixth in the points standings.

    “Talk about ‘dirty’ air,” Johnson said. “I’m so vanilla, this is the closest anyone’s come to getting the dirt on me. Usually, when there’s mudslinging, there’s a Busch brother involved, often followed by a right hand to the face. But there’s a fine line between SOB and SOD.”

    3. Carl Edwards: Edwards finished 14th in the Duck Commander 500 while Roush Fenway teammate Greg Biffle took sixth. Edwards is now third in the points standings, 12 behind Jeff Gordon.

    “The whole Duck Dynasty Robertson clan was at the race,” Edwards said. “They’ve created an empire out of good old-fashioned hard work and homophobia. But my car owner is not a fan. In fact, he’s banned all references to the show. Some may consider it an overreaction, but Mr. Roush disagrees. It’s a natural reaction after someone says ‘Hey Jack!’ to you for the millionth time.”

    4. Matt Kenseth: Kenseth finished third at Texas on a solid day for Joe Gibbs Racing, and Kyle Busch and Denny Hamlin came home third and 13th, respectively. Kenseth is now second in the Sprint Cup points standings, four out of first.

    “Did I hear correctly?” Kenseth said. “Did a duck give the command to ‘Start your engines?’ Of course, why should I be surprised? It’s the Duck Commander 500; I should expect a ‘duck call.’”

    5. Brad Keselowski: Keselowski lost a shot to win the Duck Commander 500 when he was nabbed for speeding on pit road during the race’s final caution. Instead of his second win of the year, Keselowski went home with a 15th.

    “My hood got blown up by a jet dryer,” Keselowski said. “That’s two races in a row in which my hood wouldn’t stay down. If it happens again, I might have to write a book about it, from the perspective of a misplaced hood. The book, which will be endorsed by NASCAR’s ‘Drive For Diversity’ program, will be called ‘Tales From The Hood.’”

    6. Dale Earnhardt, Jr.: Earnhardt blew a tire after going too low on the apron into the soft, rain-soaked infield at Texas Motor Speedway. The No. 88 smacked the wall and caught on fire before Earnhardt escaped unharmed. He finished 43rd, and tumbled two spots in the Sprint Cup points standings to sixth.

    “It was a mistake on my part,” Earnhardt said. “I put the nose of the No. 88 car in the grass, and the results were disastrous. That’s not always the case with Junior Nation. Ask one of my fans about a ‘faceplant’ in the infield, and many will tell you it’s a good thing.

    “There’s not a lot of margin for error with the Goodyear tires. Apparently, my tire was punctured by a blade of grass.”

    7. Joey Logano: Logano charged past Brian Vickers and Jeff Gordon on a green-white-checkered finish to win the Duck Commander 500 at Texas, earning his first win of the year. Logano is now fourth in the points standings, 28 behind Jeff Gordon.

    “The ‘Bread’ is sliced,” Logano said, “and Vickers and Gordon were diced. It’s an honor to win such a prestigious race. It was an historic win, also. It was the first race in NASCAR history in which the winner’s trophy outweighed the winner.”

    8. Kyle Busch: Busch started 29th and led 10 laps on his way to a third-place finish at Texas. He holds the fourth spot in the Sprint Cup points standings, 28 behind Jeff Gordon.

    “Luckily,” Busch said, “tire wear was not much of a factor in the Duck Commander 500. Thank heavens for that, because it prevented someone from calling the race the ‘Rubber Ducky 500.’”

    9. Brian Vickers: Vickers posted his best win of the year with a fourth in the Duck Commander 500.

    “Those jet dryers wreaked havoc at Texas Motor Speedway,” Edwards said. “It was a welcome relief for NASCAR officials. Finally, something else was responsible for blowing hot air. By the way, do jet dryers run on jet fuel? I bet Michael Waltrip can answer that.”

    10. Kyle Larson: Larson finished fifth at Texas, the best finish among rookies in the Duck Commander 500. It was his second top-five of the season, placing him two short of Juan Montoya’s total from last season in the same No. 42 car.

    “I’m NASCAR’s only Japanese-American driver,” Larson said. “I may be a rookie, but I fear no one or no thing, not even Godzilla, whose image is sure to adorn a car with the release of the new Godzilla movie upcoming. I’m guessing it will be on a Toyota.”

  • NASCAR Top-10 Power Rankings: Martinsville

    NASCAR Top-10 Power Rankings: Martinsville

    Note: The quotes in this article are fictional.

    1. Dale Earnhardt, Jr.: After two straight races outside the top 20, Earnhardt finished third at Martinsville and reclaimed the lead in the Sprint Cup points standings. He leads Matt Kenseth by nine.

    “I’m thinking about taking Graham Rahal’s Indy car for a spin,” Earnhardt said. “I doubt Junior Nation cares too much about seeing me in an Indy car. They don’t care about open wheels, just open containers.”

    2. Jimmie Johnson: Johnson led 296 laps at Martinsville, but couldn’t hold off Kurt Busch down the stretch. Busch took the lead with ten laps to go and Johnson took second. Although winless on the year, Johnson is fifth in the points standings, 18 out of first.

    “With eight wins at Martinsville,” Johnson said, “I’m practically a sure thing. Ironically, ‘automatic’ lost out to ‘automation,’ that being the No. 41 car sponsored by Haas Automation. I couldn’t hold Busch off. I drove the wheels off the No. 48 Lowe’s car. Kurt drove the hood off the No. 2 Miller Lite car.”

    3. Carl Edwards: Edwards finished 13th at Martinsville, leading the way on a disappointing day for Roush Fenway Racing. He is third in the points standings, 10 out of first.

    “Brad Keselowski and Kurt Busch had quite a battle,” Edwards said. “They exchanged sheet metal, insults, and fingers. And speaking of ‘birds,’ the No. 99 car with the Aflac duck on it should be one of the favorites at the Duck Commander 500 at Texas. If we win, you could call it the ‘Duck Commandeer 500.”

    4. Matt Kenseth: Kenseth posted his fourth top-10 finish of the year with a sixth in the STP 500. He moved up three places to second in the points standings, and trails Dale Earnhardt, Jr. by nine.

    “Denny Hamlin had some metal removed from his eye,” Kenseth said. “And that calls for some ‘cornea’ jokes. I think it was glass. That may explain the ‘Who shard-ed?’ buttons that the No. 11 team wore at Martinsville. Many are questioning Denny’s character, accusing him of only caring about himself. Well, let me tell you, Denny’s passed the ‘eye’ test, and he’s passed the ‘me’ test.”

    5. Brad Keselowski: Keselowski’s No. 2 Miller Lite car suffered major damage early when Kurt Busch plowed into it as Keselowski was trying to leave the pits. With his front end wrecked, Keselowski finished 38th, 31 laps down, and fell three places in the points standings.

    “Kurt won a grandfather clock for his win,” Keselowski said. “And trust me, his time is coming. When I see him next, there will be one hand on his nose, and one hand on his mouth.”

    6. Joey Logano: Logano continued his strong year with a fourth at Martinsville, aided by a solid qualifying run of third. He is seventh in the points standings, 40 behind Dale Earnhardt, Jr.

    “I doubt we’ve heard the last of the Brad Keselowski-Kurt Busch incident,” Logano said. “Brad’s angry. Kurt’s just as angry, if not angrier. How can you tell? Because he’s got his ears pinned back.”

    7. Jeff Gordon: Gordon suffered front-end damage early at Martinsville and struggled the rest of the way, yet managed a 12th-place finish. He is fourth in the Sprint Cup points standings, 11 out of first.

    “Texas is next on the agenda,” Gordon said. “They’re calling it the ‘Duck Commander 500’ in honor of Duck Dynasty. Robertson family patriarch Phil Robertson is set to wave the green flag. However, there’s no chance in hell he’ll be waving the ‘P-Flag.’”

    8. Kyle Busch: Busch started on the pole at Martinsville and led some early laps before handling issues stifled his efforts. He eventually finished 14th and is now sixth in the points standings, 38 out of first.

    “Congratulations to my brother Kurt,” Kyle said. “That was an impressive win. He held off Martinsville master Jimmie Johnson. This pasty white boy’s not hip to the current street lingo, but this seemed to be a case of ‘Bro’s Before Lowe’s.’”

    9. Kurt Busch: Busch bounced back from early contact with Brad Keselowski to pass Jimmie Johnson with ten laps to go, and won the STP 500 at Martinsville.

    “Unlike some drivers who are expecting children,” Busch said, “I don’t have a baby on the way. But there was a ‘baby’ in the way. I’m sure Brad will say I haven’t heard the last of me. That’s okay, because he has heard the ‘first’ of me.

    “Kyle started in the lead, and I finished with the lead. That’s great publicity for Sprint’s new cell phone plan. But neither of us has any friends, so it’s not the ‘Framily’ plan, it’s just the ‘Family’ plan.”

    10. Austin Dillon: Dillon posted a solid 15th in the STP 500, the top finish among rookies at Martinsville. He is ninth in the points standings, 48 out of first.

    “I really wish I could have won the race,” Dillon said. “Then I would have a grandfather clock to go with my grandfather. Without Richard Childress, I doubt I would be in a Sprint Cup car right now. He’s no clock, but he tells me when it’s ‘time.’”

  • NASCAR Top-10 Power Rankings: California

    NASCAR Top-10 Power Rankings: California

    Note: The quotes in this article are fictional.

    1. Carl Edwards: Edwards took tenth in the Auto Club 400 on a wild day in Fontana. Edwards now leads the Sprint Cup points standings by one over Dale Earnhardt, Jr.

    “It was an eventful day in Fontana,” Edwards said. “You had lead changes, exploding tires, malfunctioning lights, and Muppets. Of course, the only thing unusual about that in NASCAR is the Muppets.

    “Tires played a huge role in Sunday’s race. I think a lot of cars were running on underinflated tires, and that caused the excessive tire wear. Unfortunately for them, they didn’t ‘air’ on the side of caution.”

    2. Dale Earnhardt, Jr.: Earnhardt finished 12th in the Auto Club 400, his second straight race outside of the top 10 after three top-2 finishes to start the season. He trails Carl Edwards by one in the points standings.

    “Despite my fans’ high opinion of me,” Earnhardt said, “I’m no god. So, it was only a matter of time before I ‘came back down to Earth.’In fact, the only thing ‘hole-y’ at Auto Club Speedway last weekend were the tires.”

    3. Brad Keselowski: Keselowski led 38 laps early at California and was poised for a likely top-5 finish before a flat left rear tire sent him down in the order. He finished 26th, and is now third in the points standings, four behind Carl Edwards.

    “It was a frustrating day,” Keselowski said. “Not only did tires hurt us, NASCAR had another problem with lights. It’s a situation similar to that of NASCAR’s ‘Driver For Diversity’ program—they just can’t seem to get the ‘color’ right.”

    4. Jeff Gordon: Gordon had the lead with two laps to go, but Clint Bowyer’s spin ruined his plan to finish on old tires. After frantic pit stops, Gordon lost track position and finished 13th. He is third in the points standings, two out of first.

    “Bowyer cost me the race,” Gordon said. “I’d go so far as to say his spin was intentional. And movie gurus in Hollywood even noticed. Which leads to the tie-in for next Bruce Willis blockbuster: ‘Old Habits Die Hard.’”

    5. Kyle Busch: Busch jumped to the lead on a green-white-checkered finish at Auto Club Speedway and took the win, his second straight win at California. Busch is now 7th in the points standings, 28 behind Carl Edwards.

    “Kyle Larson almost stole the win,” Busch said. “That would have been a case of ‘Larson’y.’

    “Tire problems were the story of the day. But we didn’t have any. Maybe that’s because we ran Goodyear’s recommended pounds per square inch inflation level. I’m glad we did, because I’m ‘pumped.’”

    6. Jimmie Johnson: Johnson had the race in hand before blowing a tire seven laps from the finish, leading to a wild finish that Kyle Busch capped off for the win. Johnson finished 24th and is now eighth in the points standings, 21 out of first.

    “We weren’t the only ones that suffered tire problems,” Johnson said. “Chad Knaus can certainly relate to our tire issues—they’re both ‘balding.’

    “It was a crazy day in Fontana. ‘Gonzo’ the Muppet gave the order to start the engines. But what good is he to me? Sure, he can tell me how to get to Sesame Street, but I need to know how to get to Victory Lane.”

    7. Matt Kenseth: Kenseth started on pole at California and finished fourth, while teammate Kyle Busch took the win. Kenseth is now fourth in the points standings, seven out of first.

    “Is it me,” Kenseth said, “or is Michael Waltrip’s pre-race crowd surfing growing old? It was like the Sixth Sense out there—he sees dead people. Guess what, Michael? That wasn’t Donna Summer. You know why? Because she wouldn’t be caught dead at a NASCAR race.”

    8. Tony Stewart: Stewart posted his second consecutive top-5 result, finishing fifth in the Auto Club 400.

    “I was battling Kurt Busch for the lead on the final lap,” Stewart said. “The next thing I know, Kyle Busch and Kyle Larson went right by us. Eventually, Kurt finished third and I finished fifth. It was just like old times in the NASCAR hauler for the two of us—there was someone ‘separating’ us.”

    9. Ryan Newman: Newman led three laps and finished 20th at California. He is seventh in the point standings, 36 out of first.

    “Kyle Busch may be ‘Hell On Wheels,’” Newman said, “but that track is ‘Hell On Tires.’ Fontana’s surface is more abrasive than my relationship with Rusty Wallace.

    “Michael Waltrip tried to chat me up on his pre-race walk through pit row. He wasn’t looking for the bathroom, but I told him where it was anyway. Michael just the opposite of a Goodyear tire—he’s ‘full of it.’”

    10. Kyle Larson: Rookie sensation Kyle Larson finished second at California, nearly completing the weekend sweep after winning the Nationwide race on Saturday.

    “I may have just clinched NASCAR’s Rookie Of The Year award,” Larson said. “I may be a rookie, but I certainly belong here with the big boys. I earned my seat in the car on merit. You hear me, Austin Dillon? The only thing my grandfather gave me was DNA.”

  • NASCAR Top-10 Power Rankings: Bristol

    NASCAR Top-10 Power Rankings: Bristol

    Note: The quotes in this article are fictional.

    1. Brad Keselowski: Keselowski was in shape for a top-5 finish before Kevin Harvick’s blown engine littered the track with oil. Keselowski’s No. 2 Miller Lite Ford rammed Jamie McMurray’s No. 1 car, which had checked up. Keselowski still managed a 14th and took over the Sprint Cup points lead from Dale Earnhardt, Jr.

    “That was quite a lot fluid on the track,” Keselowski said. “At the ‘Bull Ring,’ that would be called ‘Oil Of Olé.’

    “Harvick was ‘on fire’ at Phoenix, as well. The result was much different, however. He nearly burned the garage down after blowing his engine at Bristol, though. To sum it up, he went from ‘distinguished’ to ‘extinguished.’”

    2. Dale Earnhardt, Jr.: Earnhardt suffered two blown tires and finished 24th, four laps down, at Bristol. He fell out of the lead in the points standings, and trails Brad Keselowski by 10.

    “Tires notwithstanding” Earnhardt said, “it’s been a ‘Goodyear’ for us so far.

    “I find it hard to believe that someone accidentally hit a switch to make the caution lights come on. There have been rumors that there’s a ‘switch hitter’ in NASCAR; maybe this is confirmation.”

    3. Jeff Gordon: Gordon finished seventh in the Food City 500, joining Hendrick Motorsports teammate Kasey Kahne in the top 10. This is the first time in his Sprint Cup career that Gordon has started the season with four top 10’s.

    “There’s a first time for everything,” Gordon said, “but apparently not a fifth time.

    4. Carl Edwards: Edwards stayed out during a caution with 76 laps to go and assumed the lead, which he held to easily win the Food City 500, his first win of the year. Edwards held off Ricky Stenhouse, Jr. and Aric Almirola, and survived a mysterious caution with two laps to go, for the win.

    “It was a long day,” Edwards said, “but I was still able to perform my signature back flip. And speaking of ‘flips,’ someone accidentally ‘flipped’ a switch and turned on the caution lights with two laps to go. That sounds like ‘B.S.’ to me. Here in Bristol, that explanation had a ‘bull ring’ to it.”

    “I hear my former teammate Matt Kenseth is going to be a father again. I hear he’s a great one. I bet he’s amazing with a pacifier. That’s probably why he’s such a ‘pacifist.’”

    5. Jimmie Johnson: Johnson struggled at Bristol after blowing a right-front tire early in the race. He finished two laps down in 19th, his first finish outside the top 10 this season, and is now sixth in the points standings, 20 behind Brad Keselowski.

    “After falling behind like that,” Johnson said, “I just wanted to get the race over. But then there were weather delays. I felt like saying what everyone said after my fifth straight Cup title: ‘Somebody stop this reign.’ That’s why they call Brad Keselowski, the driver that ended my five-year championship run, ‘Reign delay.’”

    6. Matt Kenseth: Kenseth was leading with about 100 laps remaining at Bristol, but nearly crashed when a rear tire went down. Kenseth kept the No. 20 Home Depot Toyota off the wall, and remained on the lead lap to eventually finished 13th. He is ninth in the point standings, 25 out of first.

    “I nearly lost it,” Kenseth said. “Hopefully, Toyota can ‘find it’ soon.

    “As you might know, my wife and I are expecting a baby any minute now. I hope to be in the delivery room, but only under one condition: that Jeff Gordon is not in there with me. I absolutely don’t want to be in the same room as Gordon at a time when everyone is yelling ‘Push!’”

    7. Joey Logano: Logano salvaged a 20th-place finish after early power steering problems sent him to the garage. He is now sixth in the point standings, 22 behind Brad Keselowski.

    “Usually,” Logano said, “I don’t have steering ‘problems’ unless Denny Hamlin’s in my way. There once was a ‘wall’ between us. But we’ve crashed through that wall. Luckily, no one suffered a back injury this time.”

    8. Denny Hamlin: Hamlin won the pole at Bristol and finished sixth, the top finisher among Joe Gibbs Racing cars. Hamlin is seventh in the points standings, 23 out of first.

    “Caution lights ‘accidentally’ turned on,” Hamlin said. “The NASCAR conspiracy theorists should have a field day with this. Ironically, NASCAR conspiracy theorists don’t have a lot of light switches turning on in their heads.”

    9. Kevin Harvick: Harvick was leading on lap 450 when his engine blew, spewing oil along his path. Harvick guided his burning No. 4 Jimmy John’s Chevy behind the pit wall, where it was doused.

    “I really wanted to get out of that car,” Harvick said. “I’m not even talking about the No. 4 car, but the No. 29 car.

    “Everyone was talking after the race about ‘Smoke.’ That’s because Tony Stewart finally posted a top-5 finish. And where there’s ‘Smoke,’ there’s an ornery car owner with a bum leg who’s still wondering how Kurt Busch ended up on his team.”

    10. Ricky Stenhouse, Jr.: Stenhouse trailed leader Carl Edwards when a phantom caution slowed the race with two laps remaining. The race ended that way, with Stenhouse taking second, his best finish of the year.

    “I was hoping for another restart,” Stenhouse said. “I was prepared to use my bumper, if need be, to get by Edwards. Of course, maybe it would not have been wise to do that. If Edwards gets his tail punted, I might get my tail kicked.

    “My girlfriend Danica Patrick finished 18th, her best finish of the season. I asked her to verify where she finished. She said 18th. I just wanted to make sure she ‘knew her place.’”

  • NASCAR Top-10 Power Rankings: Las Vegas

    NASCAR Top-10 Power Rankings: Las Vegas

    Note: The quotes in this article are fictional.

    1. Dale Earnhardt, Jr.: Earnhardt’s engine sputtered on the final lap at Las Vegas, allowing Brad Keselowski to pass for the win as fuel mileage, costing the No. 88 its second win of the year. Still, Earnhardt has a win and two runner-ups, and leads Keselowski in the points standings by one point.

    “We took a gamble,”Earnhardt said. “Some would call it ‘rolling the dice.’ That would be inaccurate. We only rolled one, because my engine ‘die’d.’ And Junior Nation is not a happy bunch. ‘MPG’ has moved to the top of the Nation’s list of most-hated three-letter acronyms, right above ‘DWI’ and ‘STD.’

    “If only my gas tank was as big as expectations, we would have won the race handily.”

    2. Brad Keselowski: Keselowski raced by Dale Earnhardt, Jr.’s fuel-compromised Chevy on the final lap to win the Kobalt 400 at Las Vegas Motor Speedway. Keselowski also won Saturday’s Nationwide race, giving him his first weekend sweep.

    “The No. 2 Miller Lite Ford was exceptional,” Keselowski said. “It’s hard to lose when you’re traveling at the speed of ‘Lite.’ This win has certainly sent our confidence sky-high. You could say we have a collective ‘brews’d ego.’

    “It was a great week for Roger Penske. Not only did Penske Racing post two wins, Roger aced No. 4 at Augusta National golf course. Roger carries nothing but drivers in his bag. He’s not a member at Augusta, but he wears a green jacket nonetheless—-it’s made of money.”

    3. immie Johnson: Johnson led 34 laps and finished sixth at Las Vegas, giving him three top 10’s in all three races this season. He is third in the Sprint Cup points standings, 16 out of first.

    “Brad Keselowski was awarded a giant wrench for winning the Kobalt 400,” Johnson said. “It may not have been a symbolic win, but it was a symbolic trophy. And he can have it. I’m not into symblic trophies, but I am into symbolic ‘Cups.’

    4. Joey Logano: Logano won the pole at Las Vegas, beating out teammate Brad Keselowski, as Penske Racing again swept the front row in qualifying. Logano finished fourth, while Keselowski notched the win.

    “Brad and I love the new qualifying format,” Logano said. “Knockout qualifying has made us ‘qualifying knockouts.’ Roger put Penske on the map; we put Penske on the grid.”

    5. Jeff Gordon: Gordon finished ninth in the Kobalt 400 as Hendrick Motorsports placed four drivers in the top 10, led by Earnhardt, Jr.’s runner-up. Gordon is fifth in the points standings, 18 behind Earnhardt.

    “I liked Junior’s decision to gamble,” Gordon said, “despite the fact that it didn’t work out. He went ‘all in,’ and ended up ‘all out.’

    “Earnhardt, Jimmie Johnson, and I all have three top-10 finishes to start the season, so it’s safe to say we’re all threats to win the Sprint Cup championship. But don’t forget about Kasey Kahne. As I’ve been saying for the last 13 years, you should be on the lookout for ‘No. 5.’”

    6. Carl Edwards: Like Earnhardt, Jr., Edwards and the No. 99 team gambled on fuel mileage and came up just short. Edwards still managed to finish fifth, and vaulted two spots in the Sprint Cup points standings to sixth.

    “We had a car capable of winning,” Edwards said, “but Lady Luck was not on our side. And let’s face it, she’s the only female, save for Miss Sprint Cup, worth having around in NASCAR.”

    7. Matt Kenseth: Kenseth was the lone Toyota driver in the top 10 at Las Vegas, finishing tenth in the Kobalt 400. He moved up one spot to sixth in the points, where he trails Earnhardt, Jr. by 28.

    “The Toyota’s didn’t quite have the speed to keep up with the Fords and Chevys,” Kenseth said. “I’m not worried. Toyota’s won 13 times last season. It’s just a matter of time before the Toyota’s re-‘Orient’ themselves at the front of the pack.”

    8. Ryan Newman: Newman posted his second top-10 result of the year with a seventh at Las Vegas. He jumped six spots to ninth in the points standings, 36 out of first.

    “I really feel comfortable in the Richard Childress Racing No. 31 car,” Newman said. “It’s a car that fans most associate with Jeff Burton. Sometimes, it seems like Jeff’s in the car with me. When that happens, I just do my best Richard Childress impression and tell him to leave.”

    9. Kyle Busch: Busch finished 11th at Las Vegas, as Joe Gibbs Racing cars took the 10, 11, and 12 finishing spots. Busch is now tenth in the Sprint Cup points standings, 36 out of first.

    “Congratulations to Brad Keselowski’s fuel tank for getting him the win,” Busch said. “Much like , it was full of it.

    “My brother Kurt is planning to race in both the Indianapolis 500 and Coca Cola 600 on Sunday, May 25th. This will be historic. The last time Kurt said ‘Make it a double,’ he was talking to his plastic surgeon about his ears.”

    10.Kevin Harvick: Harvick led 23 laps at Las Vegas before a broken wheel hub sent him to the garage. He eventually finished 41st, 30 laps down.

    “It was a shaky day for Stewart Haas Racing,” Harvick said. “Danica Patrick was our top finisher with a 21st. Danica said that’s the highest she’s been in months, which could possibly trigger a test under NASCAR’s drug policy.”

  • NASCAR Top-10 Power Rankings: Phoenix

    NASCAR Top-10 Power Rankings: Phoenix

    Note: The quotes in this article are fictional.

    1. Dale Earnhardt, Jr.: Earnhardt finished second at Phoenix and maintained the Sprint Cup points lead. He leads Brad Keselowski by six.

    “It easily could have been my second win this year,” Earnhardt said. “And two consecutive wins would have sent Junior Nation into a frenzy, which is another word for ‘alcohol-induced coma.’

    “But I’m really pleased with our start to the season. This could be the year that I finally fulfill my destiny and win the Sprint Cup championship. I’m hoping fate can lead me there, because no one else has been able to.”

    2. Kevin Harvick: Harvick led 224 of 312 laps in winning the Profit For CNBC 500 at Phoenix, his second consecutive spring win in the desert. Harvick kept his challengers at bay on a number of restarts in the final 50 laps.

    “It was great to celebrate in Victory Lane with Miss Sprint Cup,” Harvick said. “Richard Childress is not a woman, but you can call him ‘Misses Kevin Harvick’ anyway.

    “And speaking of the ‘misses,’ I celebrated my 13th wedding anniversary. After 13 years, my wife DeLana has assured me that she has no intentions of replacing me with Austin Dillon.”

    3. Brad Keselowski: Keselowski won the pole and finished third, leading a strong Penske Racing at Phoenix. Teammate Joey Logano started alongside Keselowski and came home fourth.

    “I won the pole in NASCAR’s first knockout qualifying session,” Keselowski said. “In my book, that’s called a ‘BKO.’

    “And congratulations to my crew chief Paul Wolfe. He missed the race to be by his wife’s side for the birth of their first son. I’ve already bought little Caden a gift. It’s a Kyle Busch driver’s suit he can wear on Halloween. That way, he’ll be a ‘Wolfe in sheep’s clothing.’”

    4. Jeff Gordon: Gordon finished fifth in the Profit For CNBC 500 as Hendrick Motorsports again placed three driver in the top 10, duplicating their feat from Daytona. Gordon is fourth in the point standings, ten behind Dale Earnhardt, Jr.

    “Most importantly,” Gordon said, “I finished eight spots ahead of Clint Bowyer. That was weird, because I always feel like Clint is only two steps behind me.”

    5. Jimmie Johnson: Johnson posted his second top-10 result with a sixth at Phoenix, following a fifth at Daytona. The six-time Sprint Cup champ is fifth in the points standings, 12 behind Dale Earnhardt, Jr.

    “Have you heard?” Johnson said. “Texas Speedway president Eddie Gossage is upset that Formula 1 has a race scheduled in Austin on the same day in November that NASCAR is in Fort Worth. I’m not sure what Eddie stands to gain. Of course, it’s not the first time NASCAR has been accused of ‘running in circles’ where Formula 1 is concerned.”

    6. Joey Logano: Logano finished fourth at in The Profit On CNBC 500, joining Penske teammate Brad Keselowski, in third, in the top 5. Logano is sixth in the points standings, 15 out of first.

    “In case you didn’t know,” Logano said, “’The Profit’ is a show on CNBC. It’s only slightly more informative than Michael Waltrip’s pre-race walk through the pit lane on Fox. But you’ve got to commend Michael. He’s not afraid to ask to tough questions. Heck, he asked if he could kiss 50 Cent at Daytona. And I don’t even think it was a rhetorical question.”

    7. Matt Kenseth: Kenseth finished seventh in the Joe Gibbs Racing No. 20 Home Depot car, posting his first top 10 of the season. He is seventh in the Sprint Cup points standings, 20 out of first.

    “That car was made famous by Tony Stewart,” Kenseth said. “What else has been made famous by Tony Stewart? This Danica Patrick-Richard Petty feud. One would think that after starting his own race team, Tony would learn to mind his own business.

    “Personally, I would love to see Patrick and Petty in a race. It could be huge. All that’s needed is a pay-per-view audience, Stewart to continue his role as hype man, and a catchy slogan, like ‘The King And Eye (Candy),’ or ‘Age Before Beauty?,’ ‘Is This Really Necessary?’”

    8. Denny Hamlin: Hamlin followed up his second-place run at Daytona with a disappointing 19th at Phoenix. Hamlin pitted during a late caution while most of the leaders stayed out, costing him track position which he could not recover.

    “The No. 11 FedEx Toyota dealt with handling issues all day long,” Hamlin said. “I can’t tell you how many pit stops we made. Luckily, with the race being in Arizona, I wasn’t denied service based on my sexuality.”

    9. Carl Edwards: Edwards led the Roush Fenway Racing contingent at Phoenix, scoring an eighth-place finish in the Profit For CNBC 500. He is ninth in the points standings, 25 out of first.

    “What a performance by Kevin Harvick,” Edwards said. “He was so much better than everyone else, especially on restarts. Just ask Richard Childress—when Kevin says ‘goodbye,’ he means it.”

    10. Ryan Newman: Newman posted a seventh at Phoenix, leading the way for Richard Childress Racing as former RCR driver Kevin Harvick won easily.

    “I’m driving the No. 31 car formerly piloted by Jeff Burton,” Newman said. “But I’m not your typical RCR driver. Two things to remember: I’m not Richard Childress’ grandson, and Wadd Button is not my brother.”

  • NASCAR Top-10 Power Rankings: Daytona

    NASCAR Top-10 Power Rankings: Daytona

    Note: The quotes in this article are fictional.

    1. Dale Earnhardt, Jr.: Earnhardt withstood a long rain delay and held off numerous challenges to win his second Daytona 500, beating Denny Hamlin to the line. The win ended a 55-race winless streak and instantly qualified Earnhardt for the Chase For The Cup.

    “That six hour, 22 minute rain delay didn’t bother me at all,” Earnhardt said. “What’s 6:22 when I’m used to waiting 55 races for a win? And what better way to celebrate such a huge win than to join Twitter. By the time you read this, I should have 750,000 followers, and the best thing is, none will require a restraining order.”

    2. Denny Hamlin: Hamlin topped off a successful Speedweeks with a runner-up finish in the 500, making a bold move at the front befire finishing behind Dale Earnhardt, Jr. Hamlin won the first Gatorade Duel and led 16 laps in Sunday night’s race.

    “How about that piece of black plastic that clung to Dale, Jr.’s grill?” Hamlin said. “Some say it was the ‘Man In Black,’ Dale Earnhardt, Sr., making his presence known. NASCAR made an even more outlandish claim—that it was proof that their ‘Drive For Diversity’ program is actually working. Here’s the most interesting part: ghosts are a lot like NASCAR drivers—-mostly white.”

    3. Brad Keselowski: Keselowski, in the No. 2 car with the classic Miller Lite paint scheme, challenged for the win at Daytona and finished third behind Dale Earnhardt, Jr. and Denny Hamlin.

    “I hear that Danica Patrick exceeded 1,000,000 Twitter followers,” Keselowski said. “That’s a lot, maybe too many for one web site to handle. I can see this ending in one way only—with a ‘crash.’”

    4. Jeff Gordon: Gordon finished fourth at Daytona as Hendrick teammate Dale Earnhardt, Jr. powered to the win. Gordon gave Earnhardt a boost on the final lap, helping Junior hold off Denny Hamlin at the end.

    “Dale deserved to win,” Gordon said. “His No. 88 National Guard Chevrolet was by far the strongest. This could very well be the year Junior wins the Sprint Cup. In other words, it could finally be when ‘A Little E Goes A Long Way.’”

    5. Jimmie Johnson: Johnson started 39th after going to a backup car and finished fifth after leading 15 laps. Last year’s Daytona 500 winner joined race winner Dale Earnhardt, Jr. and Jeff Gordon as Hendrick Motorsports took three of the top five spots.

    “That rain just wouldn’t stop,” Johnson said. “And, trust me, I know long ‘reigns.’

    “I’m on a quest for my seventh Sprint Cup championship. It would be awesome to be mentioned in the same sentence with Richard Petty and Dale Earnhardt, Sr. Contrary to what Tony Stewart says, six titles give you the right to ‘challenge’ Petty, not two.”

    6. Matt Kenseth: Kenseth started third after winning Thursday’s second Gatorade Duel and finished a long day at Daytona with a sixth-place finish. Joe Gibbs Racing teammates Denny Hamlin and Kyle Busch finished second and 19th, respectively.

    “Did you see Kyle cross the finish line?” Kenseth said. “He did it in reverse. But that’s really no surprise. Just look at the sponsors on the No. 18 car—it’s got ‘good backing.’”

    7. Austin Dillon: Dillon survived involvement in three accidents at Daytona and put the Richard Childress Racing No. 3 Chevy in the top 10 in the return of the “3” made famous by Dale Earnhardt, Sr.

    “That ‘3’ on the side of my car means a lot,” Dillon said. “At Daytona, it indicated the number of crashes I caused.”

    8. Ricky Stenhouse, Jr.: Stenhouse led the way for Roush Fenway Racing with a seventh at Daytona, joining teammate Greg Biffle, who finished eighth, in the top 10. It was Stenhouse’s best finish ever in the 500.

    “That was one of the best Daytona 500’s of all time,” Stenhouse said. “I can’t wait to catch a replay of the race, and neither can Dale Earnhardt, Jr. fans. That’s the only way their favorite driver will have multiple wins this season.”

    9. Greg Biffle: Biffle battled Dale Earnhardt, Jr. over the final laps at Daytona before the mad scramble relegated him to a finish of eighth.

    “How about Madison Rising’s performance of the national anthem before Saturday’s Nationwide race?” Biffle said. “They claim to be America’s most patriotic band. I certainly agree. Their music is best listened to with a hand over the heart, and two over the ears.”

    10. Kevin Harvick: Harvick finished 13th at Daytona in the No. 4 Chevrolet, the highest finisher among the Stewart-Haas Racing stable.

    “Tony Stewart challenged Richard Petty to race Danica Patrick,” Harvick said, “and the ‘King’ accepted. But really, what does King Richard stand to gain with a win? The last thing he needs is another feather in his cap.”