Category: NASCAR Top-10 Power Rankings

Jeff’s NASCAR Top-10 Power Rankings

  • NASCAR Top-10 Power Rankings: Charlotte

    NASCAR Top-10 Power Rankings: Charlotte

    [media-credit name=”Credit: Streeter Lecka/Getty Images” align=”alignright” width=”241″][/media-credit]Note: The quotes in this article are fictional.

    1. Brad Keselowski: Keselowski ran out of fuel while leading on lap 59 at Charlotte, and that miscalculation may have cost him the win. After a late stop for gas, Keseklowski emerged 16th and finished 11th. He now leads Jimmie Johnson in the point standings by seven.

    “The Miller Lite Dodge was the hottest car in the Chase until Saturday,” Keselowski said. “And we all know what happens with a cold Miller Lite—you get a ‘coaster.’

    2. Jimmie Johnson: Johnson finished third in the Bank Of America 500 after fuel mileage concerns forced him to race conservatively. Still, Johnson cut into Brad Keselowski’s points lead, and now trails by only seven.

    “Keselowski led for 139 of 334 laps,” Johnson said. “It was his race to lose, and he did. But I don’t mind trailing in the point standings right now. I’m a five-time champion; Keselowski’s got no titles to his name. That puts me ‘second to none.”

    3. Denny Hamlin: Hamlin led 36 laps at Charlotte and finished third behind Clint Bowyer and Jimmie Johnson, while Brad Keselowski finished 11th. Hamlin is now 15 behind points-leader Keselowski, and eight behind Johnson in second.

    “The No. 11 Fed Ex Toyota was not made to conserve gas,” Hamlin said, “so we have to savor every drop. It seems that my pregnant girlfriend isn’t the only one carrying ‘precious cargo.’”

    4. Clint Bowyer: After a beneficial fuel gamble, Bowyer held off a charging Denny Hamlin to take the Bank Of America 500, his third victory of the year. Bowyer is now fourth in the Sprint Cup point standings, 28 behind Brad Keselowski, and well within striking distance for the Cup.

    “I proved I’m still a force in the Chase,” Bowyer said. “But I realize I’m gonna need some luck as well. So I’ve got to ask myself, “Do you feel lucky, punk?’”

    5. Kasey Kahne: Kahne finished eighth at Charlotte, one lap down to the leaders. He is now fifth in the point standings, 35 out of first.

    “It was weird not seeing Dale Earnhardt, Jr. in the No. 88 car,” Kahne said. “I’m sure Junior was disappointed. But look on the bright side: he found another way to break a winless streak.”

    6. Greg Biffle: Biffle started on the pole at Charlotte and led 71 laps before finishing fourth, his best finish of the Chase. He leaped three spots in the point standings to sixth, and is 43 out of first.

    “Carl Edwards couldn’t win with the points lead in last year’s Chase,” Biffle said. “Matt Kenseth is leaving Roush Fenway. And I couldn’t win from the pole at Charlotte. It doesn’t seem that anyone at Roush Fenway Racing can finish what they started.”

    7. Martin Truex, Jr.: Truex posted his 17th top-10 finish of the year with a 10th at Charlotte. He is seventh in the Sprint Cup point standings, 49 out of first.

    “I’ve got five races to make up 49 points,” Truex said. “I’m guessing the five races beats the 49 points to the finish line. And that’s one more win than I have this year.”

    8. Kyle Busch: Busch finished fifth at Charlotte, one of only six cars on the lead lap. It was his ninth top-5 result of the year.

    “I didn’t qualify for the Chase For The Cup,” Busch said, “so I, like about 8 of 12 Chasers to far behind to matter, am not eligible to win the title. It may be lonely at the top, but not at the bottom.”

    9. Tony Stewart: Stewart sustained front-end damage after an early re-start went awry. He recovered to finish 13th, one lap down, and now finds himself in a 50 point hole to points leader Brad Keselowski.

    “If it’s not someone going too fast behind me,” Stewart said, “it’s someone going too slow in front of me. Normally, I’m more prepared in crunch time.”

    10. Jeff Gordon: Gordon’s day was ruined by a pit road speeding penalty that put him one lap down. He finished two laps down in 18th for his worst finish of the Chase. He trails Brad Keselowski by 50 points in the Sprint Cup point standings.

    “That’s a deficit from which I can’t escape,” Gordon said. “I was once married to a ‘gold digger;’ she, in turn, was married to a ‘hole digger.’”

  • NASCAR Top-10 Power Rankings: Talladega

    NASCAR Top-10 Power Rankings: Talladega

    [media-credit name=”Credit: Jerry Markland/Getty Images for NASCAR” align=”alignright” width=”225″][/media-credit]Note: The quotes in this article are fictional.

    1. Brad Keselowski: Keselowski survived the last-lap pileup at Talladega intact and finished seventh. He remained on top of the Sprint Cup point standings and leads Jimmie Johnson by 14.

    “It appears Lady Luck is on my side,” Keselowski said. “How else can you explain how I emerged from that mess with a seventh-place finish? So what you will, but I’ll never again complain about ‘women’ drivers.”

    2. Jimmie Johnson: Johnson’s No. 48 Lowe’s Chevrolet was one of several cars damaged in Talladega’s “Big One,” triggered by Tony Stewart on the final lap. Johnson is still second in the point standings, and now trails Brad Keselowski by 14.

    “My car was so damaged,” Johnson said, “I had to hitch a ride back to the pits with Dale Earnhardt, Jr. That was the first time a champion’s been in that car.”

    3. Denny Hamlin: Hamlin finished 11th in the Good Sam Roadside Assistance 500, one of the few cars that escaped the final lap melee unscathed. He held on to the third spot in the point standings, and is 20 behind Brad Keselwoski.

    “I lost my rear view mirror about midway through Sunday’s race,” Hamlin said. “Luckily, it was replaceable, because I couldn’t see myself winning without it.

    4. Jeff Gordon: Gordon led seven laps at Talladega and finished second, after navigating through the carnage that ensued when Tony Stewart was clipped by Michael Waltrip. Gordon now has three runner-up finishes in the Chase, but has made little ground in the point standings.

    “It appears that, despite solid finishes,” Gordon said, “I won’t be able to make up much ground in the Chase. I’m sure some will argue that the Chase format needs more tweaking to reward cases such as mine. And I would be the first to ‘second’ that emotion.”

    5. Matt Kenseth: Kenseth won in a wild finish at Talladega, pulling away for the victory as chaos reigned behind him. It was his second win of the season following his triumph at Daytona in February.

    “That’s two superspeedway wins for me in which I persevered despite major incidents,” Kenseth said. “First it was Juan Montoya starting a fire, then it was Tony Stewart starting a wreck. Just call me the ‘Master Of Disaster.’

    “It was shaping up to be a close finish, but after the crash, I ended up winning easily. With respect to my contract with Joe Gibbs Racing, you could say I won ‘going away.’”

    6. Clint Bowyer: Bowyer was in position to compete for the win in the closing moments at Talladega, but was collected in the “Big One,” triggered when Tony Stewart was turned while trying to move in front of Michael Waltrip.

    “A win was in our sights,” Bowyer said, “and would have been a big lift to our championship hopes. As it was, Tony Stewart got a ‘lift,’ in the air and on my hood.

    7. Tony Stewart: Stewart was leading on the final lap at Talladega, but with Michael Waltrip fast approaching, Stewart tried to move in front of the No. 55. It didn’t work, Stewart spun, and much of the field was affected in the pileup. Stewart finished 22nd, and is now 43 out of first in the point standings.

    “I take full responsibility for the wreck,” Stewart said. “I said as much when I took to social media to explain on my new Twitter account, ‘@fault.’

    “As you have heard, I’ve secure sponsorship from Bass Pro Shops for 18 races in 2013. I’m thrilled. I can’t wait until next year, when I can qualify first for a race and proudly proclaim it a ‘fishing pole.’”

    8. Kasey Kahne: Kahne started on the pole and finished 13th after a wild, last-lap crash that saw Tony Stewart’s No. 14 Chevy on the hood of Kahne’s No. 5 Chevy. Kahne moved up two spots to fourth in the point standings, and is 37 out of first.

    “Aric Almirola handed out 600 pounds of bacon to celebrate Gwaltney’s sponsorship of the No. 43 car,” Kahne said. “Interestingly enough, I later gave Stewart a ‘piggy-back’ ride on Sunday.”

    9. Kevin Harvick: Harvick was battling up front, with a good chance to win, when the inevitable struck at Talladega. When the dust had cleared, Harvick had an 11th-place finish.

    “The Good Sam Roadside Assistance 500 certainly lived up to his name,” Harvick said. “At least the ‘Roadside Assistance” part. Kurt Busch lived up to the name, as well, at least the ‘Roadside Ass’ part.”

    10. Dale Earnhardt, Jr.: Earnhardt finished 21st after order was restored in the aftermath of a massive final-lap crash that left much of the field in wrecked cars. Earnhardt is now 11th in the point standings, 58 out of first.

    “Despite the damage to my car,” Earnhardt said, “I was still able to give Jimmie Johnson a ride back to the pits. It felt good to be able to return the favor, because Jimmie’s ‘carried’ this team for so long.

    “Drivers may not like it, but fans love racing at Talladega. And I’m all about giving the fans what they want, as long as it’s overpriced merchandise bearing my likeness and not wins.”

  • NASCAR Top-10 Power Rankings: Dover

    NASCAR Top-10 Power Rankings: Dover

    [media-credit name=”Credit: Patrick McDermott/Getty Images for NASCAR” align=”alignright” width=”242″][/media-credit]Note: The quotes in this article are fictional.

    1. Brad Keselowski: A bold fuel strategy boosted Keselowski to the driver’s seat at Dover, and he held off Jeff Gordon to win the AAA 400. It was Keselowki’s second win of the Chase, and put him in the lead of the Sprint Cup point standings, where he is five ahead of Jimmie Johnson.

    “While many of my rivals needed fuel,” Keselwoski said, “the No. 2 Miller Lite Dodge didn’t. I guess it’s true what they say: Miller Lite is less filling.’”

    2. Denny Hamlin: Along with Joe Gibbs Racing teammate Kyle Busch, Hamlin dominated for much of Sunday’s AAA 400, but was forced to pit with ten laps remaining. Hamlin finished ninth and is now 16 points down to points leader Brad Keselowski.

    “I say this with my eyes staring squarely at my gas-guzzling Toyota engine,” Hamlin said. “’This sucks.’ Ironically, a lack of gas took the air out of my race.”

    3. Jimmie Johnson: Forced into fuel conservation mode late in the race, Johnson held on and finished fourth after avoiding the late fuel stops that affected much of the field. He fell out of the points lead and now trails Brad Keselowski by five.

    “As a five-time Sprint Cup champion,” Johnson said, “I feel qualified to say that I’m not the only driver that’s ‘five behind.’

    4. Clint Bowyer: Bowyer came home ninth at Dover, scoring his third consecutive top-10 finish of the Chase. He moved up one spot to fourth in the point standings and trails Brad Keselowski by 25.

    “As the driver holding the fourth spot in the point standings,” Bowyer said, “my task at hand is clear: to make sure this doesn’t become just a three-man battle for the Sprint Cup.”

    5. Jeff Gordon: Gordon finished second in the AAA 400, his third runner-up finish in the last five races. He is now 10th in the point standings, 48 out of first.

    “I was hoping that Brad Keselowski would run out of gas,” Gordon said. “But once again, he proved that he’s got a ‘reserve’ that no one else does.”

    6. Kasey Kahne: Kahne finished three laps down in 15th at Dover. He is fifth in the point standings, 32 out of first.

    “Danica Patrick’s coming to Sprint Cup full-time next year,” Kahne said. “That’s a reason to celebrate for womankind. I’d tell Danica to take a victory lap, but she’d likely end up a lap behind.”

    7. Tony Stewart: Stewart fell a lap down early at Dover and never recovered, finishing three laps down in 20th. He is now fifth in the Sprint Cup point standings, 32 out of first.

    “It’s not looking good for a defense of my 2011 Cup title,” Stewart said. “It appears ‘Smoke will be passing the torch,’ words which are sure to raise the eyebrows of the enforcers of NASCAR’s drug policy.

    8. Dale Earnhardt, Jr.: Earnhardt finished two laps down and finished a disappointing 11th, losing further ground to the points leaders. In three Chase races, Earnhardt has yet to post a top-5 result.

    “Much like a bootleg screen print t-shirt of my likeness,” Earnhardt said, “my chances at the Sprint Cup title are ‘fading fast.’ It seems the only ‘miraculous comeback’ you’ll get from me is an incredibly clever retort to someone critical of my championship ability.”

    9. Martin Truex, Jr.: Truex remained solid in the Chase For The Cup, scoring his second top-10 finish with a sixth in the AAA 400. He improved two places in the point standings to eighth, 42 out of first.

    “There are two ‘Junior’s’ in the Chase,” Truex said, “and it looks like neither has a chance to win the Cup. Junior should know better than anyone that it takes ‘Seniority’ to win a championship.”

    10. Kyle Busch: Busch led 302 of 400 laps at Dover, but relinquished the lead for a costly fuel stop late in the race. The stop cost him a lap and he finished seventh.

    “While fuel mileage issues left of lot of us in ‘neutral,’” Busch said, “Brad Keselowski must have been stuck in ‘reverse,’ because he surely ‘backed’ in to the win at Dover.”

  • NASCAR Top-10 Power Rankings: New Hampshire

    NASCAR Top-10 Power Rankings: New Hampshire

    [media-credit name=”Credit: Rainier Ehrhardt/Getty Images” align=”alignright” width=”242″][/media-credit]Note: The quotes in this article are fictional.

    1. Denny Hamlin: After qualifying 32nd, Hamlin charged to the front at Loudon and took the lead on lap 94. He led 193 of 300 laps and won for the fifth time this year.

    “Last week,” Hamlin said, “I told everyone I would win. And I did. As such, I’m ‘back up’ the point standings.

    “Everything went smoothly at Loudon, except for some concerns with our water temperature late in the race. I think all parties involved, including my baby’s momma, agreed that it was an inopportune time to have our water break.”

    2. Jimmie Johnson: Johnson took the runner-up position for the second straight week and ascended to the top of the point standings. He now leads Brad Keselowski by one point, and Denny Hamlin by seven.

    “Ask anybody who knows me,” Johnson said. “They’ll tell you I’m not used to finishing second. And speaking of ‘2’s,’ I want my fellow Chasers to have no choice but to use two hands when asked how many Cup titles I have.”

    3. Brad Keselowski: After winning the Chase opener at Chicagoland last week, Keselowski finished sixth in the Sylvania300, posting his 17th top-10 of the year. He now trails Jimmie Johnson by one point in the Sprint Cup standings.

    “Hamlin did what one would expect of me,” Keselowski said. “He went on Twitter last week and guaranteed a win. I wasn’t much of a factor in this race, so you didn’t hear a peep, much less a tweet, out of me.”

    4. Tony Stewart: Stewart took seventh in theSylvania300 after leading 38 laps, scoring his third straight top-7 result. He is now fourth in the Sprint Cup point standings, ten out of first.

    “Denny Hamlin ran a great race,” Stewart said. “Congratulations to Joe Gibbs Racing for their 100th win. I had a hand in many of those victories. I’ve had a hand in a lot of things; I’ve had a hand on a lot more. Just ask any driver who’s crossed me.”

    5. Kasey Kahne: Kahne posted his ninth top-5 finish of the year and second of the Chase with a fifth at Loudon. He remained fifth in the Sprint Cup point standings and trails Jimmie Johnson by 15.

    “The No. 5 Farmers Insurance Chevrolet was fast,” Kahne said. “I’m certainly pleased with my sponsor, and they are pleased with me. I’m popular with Farmers Insurance, and even more popular with farmers’ daughters.”

    6. Clint Bowyer: Bowyer was the second-best Toyota at Loudon, coming home fourth in theSylvania300, which was dominated by Denny Hamlin. Bowyer is 15 points behind Hamlin in the point standings and still very much in the hunt for the Sprint Cup.

    “Eastwood might,” Bowyer said, “but this ‘Clint’ doesn’t talk to empty chairs. Or do I? Hopefully, at the NASCAR banquet at year’s end, I will be talking to one empty chair, my own, when I, as champion, take the podium and address the other 11 drivers on the stage. Boy, would that ‘make my dais.’”

    7. Jeff Gordon: Gordon won the pole for the Sylvania300 and finished third behind race-winner Denny Hamlin and Jimmie Johnson. He is 12th in the point standings, 45 out of first.

    “It must be a slow week in NASCAR,” Gordon said. “The biggest news is Kurt Busch signing with Furniture Row Racing for 2013. It’s a perfect fit, because Kurt’s had enough ‘seats’ to fill a furniture store.”

    8. Dale Earnhardt, Jr.: Earnhardt finished a disappointing 13th at Loudon, finishing in the same position he qualified. He is seventh in the point standings, 26 out of first.

    “Obviously,” Earnhardt said, “I’ve got a lot on my mind. There’s the Chase, and then there’s my split with the Eury’s. I hate to lose those guys, but with my record, what’s another loss?”

    9. Matt Kenseth: Kenseth led one lap and finished 14th in the Sylvania 300, following an 18th last week at Chicagoland. He is 11th in the Sprint Cup point standings, 35 behind Jimmie Johnson.

    “I’m driving myself right out of the Chase,” Kenseth said. “Luckily, that’s on the way to Joe Gibbs Racing.

    “Obviously, the No. 17 Roush Fenway Ford is not fast enough. So, you could say I’m just going through the slow motions.”

    10. Kevin Harvick: Harvick finished 11th in the Sylvania 300, and moved up two spots in the point standings to eighth. He trails Jimmie Johnson by 31.

    “Finishing 11th accurately sums up my season,” Harvick said, “because it’s been a struggle to stay in the top 10 all year.”

  • NASCAR Top-10 Power Rankings: Chicagoland

    NASCAR Top-10 Power Rankings: Chicagoland

    [media-credit name=”Noel Lanier” align=”alignright” width=”247″][/media-credit]Note: The quotes in this article are fictional.

    1. Brad Keselowski: Keselowski won the Geico 400, taking round 1 of the Chase For The Cup after holding off Jimmie Johnson at Chicagoland. Keselowski leads the point standings, three ahead of Johnson.

    “I’m aiming to be Roger Penske’s first Sprint Cup champion,” Keselowski said. “Nothing beats flying the checkered flag, except the ‘Jolly Roger.’

    “This could be the making of a great rivalry with Johnson. I took it to him; now I want to take it from him.”

    2. Jimmie Johnson: After starting from the pole, Johnson led a race-high 172 laps but couldn’t close the deal at Chicagoland, finishing second to Brad Keselowski’s late rush. Johnson now trails Keselowski by three in the Sprint Cup point standings.

    “Keselowski’s win had the makings of a ‘statement’ victory,” Johnson said. “Luckily for me, Keselowski doesn’t make statements, he makes ‘tweets.’ Kes has hundreds of thousands of followers; I’m not one of them. I only follow two people—Richard Petty and dale Earnhardt.”

    3. Tony Stewart: Stewart overcame a poor qualifying effort (29th), as well as an extra pit stop to correct a vibration, to finish a solid sixth in the Geico 400, a solid start to his defense of the 2011 Sprint Cup title. He trails Brad Keselowski by eight in the point standings.

    “The vibration was a potentially disastrous situation,” Stewart said, “but we handled it like champions. You could say we were ‘shaken, not stirred.”

    4. Denny Hamlin: Hamlin ran out of fuel late in the Geico 400, turning a likely top-10 finish into a 16th. The result dropped him from the top spot in the point standings to a tie for fourth, 15 behind Brad Keselowski.

    “What’s the bigger miscalculation?” Hamlin asked. “Me running out of gas, or people predicting me to come through when the pressure’s on? I had to make a late stop to ‘top off.’ For that reason, I’m ‘off the top.’”

    5. Kasey Kahne: Kahne finished third in the Geico 400, and leaped five spots in the point standings to fourth, where he is 15 points out of the lead.

    “I think my competitors are aware that I’ll be around until the end,” Kahne said. “Despite leaving a number of racing teams in my career, I think it’s apparent that I won’t ‘go away easily.’”

    6. Clint Bowyer: Bowyer led six laps at Chicagoland on his way to a tenth-place finish. He is now 15 points out of first in the point standings.

    “We could have used a dose of 5-Hour Energy,” Bowyer said, “because that was a ‘ho-hum’ finish.”

    7. Dale Earnhardt, Jr.: Earnhardt qualified fourth, but started at the back of the field after an engine change, and salvaged a solid eighth in the Geico 400. He is 17 points behind Brad Keselowski in the point standings.

    “I guess it’s time I show what I’m made of,” Earnhardt said. “You’d think the name alone would be enough, but I guess I have to prove it as much on the track as I do in the merchandise trailers.”

    8. Martin Truex, Jr.: Truex posted his 15th top-10 finish of the year with a ninth at Chicagoland, but made up little ground to the Chasers in front of him. He is now ninth in the point standings, 21 out of first.

    “I need a win,” Truex said. “In other words, I need to get going. NASCAR just reinstated A.J. Allmendinger, so maybe he can recommend a good ‘stimulant’ to get me going.”

    9. Matt Kenseth: Kenseth finished 18th, one lap down to the leaders, after a broken shock ruined his quest for a victory run at Chicagoland. He

    “We’re certainly disappointed in our shock failure,” Kenseth said. “Such a finish is tough to swallow, and even harder to absorb.”

    10. Greg Biffle: Biffle finished 13th, tops among Roush Fenway’s three car team. After leading the point standings for much of the year, it was a disappointing start to the Chase for the 3M team.

    “We certainly weren’t on our game,” Biffle said. “I guess you could say for the start of the Chase we were ‘off and running.’”

  • NASCAR Top-10 Power Rankings: Richmond

    NASCAR Top-10 Power Rankings: Richmond

    [media-credit id=22 align=”alignright” width=”226″][/media-credit]Note: The quotes in this article are fictional.

    1. Denny Hamlin: Hamlin led 202 of 400 laps at Richmond, but the No. 11 Fed Ex team’s decision to stay on the track after a late rain delay proved costly. His shot at the win gone, Hamlin came home 18th, one lap down.

    “I’m leading the points,” Hamlin said. “So I’m right where I need to be, just ten weeks too early.

    “The Chase is wide open. There doesn’t appear to be a clear-cut favorite to win the Cup. The identity of the 2012 Sprint Cup champion is a lot like NASCAR’s drug policy—it’s anyone’s guess.”

    2. Jimmie Johnson: Johnson finished 13th at Richmond, and will start the Chase For The Cup three points back of Denny Hamlin. He’ll lead the way for Hendrick Motorsports, which place all four drivers in the Chase.

    “A full third of the Chase field are Hendrick drivers,” Johnson said. “That means there’s a 33% chance a Hendrick driver will win the Sprint Cup. There’s a 100% chance that Hendrick driver will be me. And, as five titles in six years suggests, it’s wise to play the percentages.”

    3. Brad Keselowski: Keselowski finished a solid seventh at Richmond, posting his 15th top-10 result of the year. With three wins, he’ll start the Chase tied with Jimmie Johnson and Tony Stewart, three points back of points leader Denny Hamlin.

    “The Chase field is set,” Keselowski said, “and Kyle Busch isn’t in it. Kyle will never be considered a true great of the sport until he wins a Sprint Cup title. Therefore, it compels me to say that ‘Kyle Busch is an asterisk,’ because he’s not a star, but starlike.”

    4. Dale Earnhardt, Jr.: Earnhardt started on pole in the Federated Auto Parts 400, leading 67 laps on his way to a 14th in Saturday’s rain-delayed race. With only one win this year, he’ll start nine points behind Denny Hamlin.

    “Congratulations to Jeff Gordon,” Earnhardt said. “With his runner-up finish, he’s in the Chase. He said that was like a win to him. That makes him a lot like me, because with my track record, I’ll call anything a win.”

    5. Tony Stewart: Stewart scored his first top-5 finish since a fifth at Pocono in early August with a fourth at Richmond. His three wins this year will start him tied for second in the Chase, three points behind Denny Hamlin.

    “In most cases,” Stewart said, “I take offense at things. But, as last year’s Sprint Cup champion, I’m going on the defensive. But never fear, that’s still reason enough to throw helmets, punches, and tantrums. These are a few of my favorite things.”

    6. Matt Kenseth: Kenseth finished fifth at Richmond, posting his 16th top-1- finish. By virtue of his one victory, he’ll start the Chase nine points down to Denny Hamlin.

    “It’s been a crazy year,” Kenseth said. “Honestly, I can’t tell whether I’m coming or going. Fortunately, I’ve got two wins on the year—one at Daytona, and one at Joe Gibbs Racing. Hopefully, Roush Fenway Racing will consider me a ‘loss’ and not a ‘loser.’”

    7. Greg Biffle: Biffle finished ninth at Richmond, and, with two wins on the year, will start the Chase tied for fifth, six points out of first.

    “I like my chances,” Biffle said. “I’m not going to back down from anyone. As far as the Cup goes, I, like all the favorites, expect to be there at the end. And, unlike Matt Kenseth, I expect to be here at the end.”

    8. Clint Bowyer: Bowyer survived a spin through the infield grass before rallying late to win the Federated Auto Parts 400. Bowyer’s second win of the year places him six points behind Chase leader Denny Hamlin.

    “I’ve got what no one else has,” Bowyer said. “And that’s 5-Hour Energy sponsorship on my car, which naturally gives me a ‘shot’ to win it all.”

    9. Jeff Gordon: Gordon raced his way into the Chase For The Cup with a hard-earned second at Richmond. As the final wildcard entrant, he’ll start last in the field, 12 points out of first.

    “We had a little help from Kyle Busch,” Gordon said. “It seems the No. 18 M&M’s car got a little loose, right after the No. 18 pit crew got ‘tight.’ I’m just happy to qualify for the Chase. I’m in, and I’m ecstatic to the inth degree.”

    10. Kasey Kahne: Kahne finished 12th at Richmond and qualified for the Chase as the field’s first wildcard. He will start at the bottom of the Chase field, 12 points behind Denny Hamlin.

    “I’m starting all the way at the back,” Kahne said. “I’ve been ordered to choose my words carefully, because Hendrick Motorsports doesn’t want anyone to ‘bring up the rear.’”

  • NASCAR Top-10 Power Rankings: Atlanta

    NASCAR Top-10 Power Rankings: Atlanta

    [media-credit name=”Credit: Kevin C. Cox/Getty Images for NASCAR” align=”alignright” width=”220″][/media-credit]Note: The quotes in this article are fictional.

    1. Denny Hamlin: Hamlin beat Martin Truex, Jr. out of the pits on the race’s final caution, and then held off Jeff Gordon to win the AdvoCare 500. Hamlin’s fourth win of the year will give him the top seed in the Chase in two weeks, barring a win at Richmond by Jimmie Johnson, Tony Stewart, or Brad Keselowski.

    “I kept Gordon out of the winner’s circle,” Hamlin said, “which may have put Kyle Busch in the Chase. You may think I’m doing Kyle a favor. Not so. In fact, I’m doing myself a favor, by letting a driver in the Chase who has no chance of winning the Cup.”

    2. Jimmie Johnson: Johnson sparked a wreck with 56 laps to go when he made contact with Sam Hornish, Jr. sent Johnson into the wall. The No. 48 Lowe’s Chevy spun sideways and was slammed by Newman’s No. 39. Johnson finished 34th, 58 laps down.

    “I guess I didn’t see Hornish,” Johnson said. “That’s probably because he’s been ‘invisible’ since coming to NASCAR from Indy cars.”

    3. Brad Keselowski: Keselowski finished third at Atlanta with his tenth top-5 finish of the year. He is now sixth in the Sprint Cup point standings, 48 out of first, and by virtue of his three wins, will start no worse than second in the Chase.

    “Joey Logano will be my new teammate in 2013,” Keselowski said. “If he’s anything like me, and nothing like A.J. Allmendinger, then he won’t take anything from anybody.”

    4. Greg Biffle: Biffle started on the front row at Atlanta, but struggled with handling issues for much of the night and finished 15th. He still leads the point standings with one more race before the Chase For The Cup field is set.

    “I’m just happy to still be on top in the point standings,” Biffle said. “Even if it’s for just one more week, I still have more ‘staying power’ than some of my Roush Fenway teammates. If it’s not Matt Kenseth telling us he’s going somewhere, it’s Carl Edwards telling us he’s not going somewhere. For the Chase, it seems, none of us are going anywhere.”

    5. Dale Earnhardt, Jr.: Earnhardt surged on the green-white-checkered finish at Atlanta, taking seventh in the AdvoCare 500. He moved up one spot to second in the point standings, where he trails Greg Biffle by eight.

    “They say once the Chase begins,” Earnhardt said, “the ‘cream rises to the top.’ Does that explain why I’ll tumble down the standings when the points are reset?”

    6. Tony Stewart: Stewart struggled at Atlanta, running two laps down for much of the race before finishing 22nd, one lap down to the leaders. Stewart has not finished better than 19th in the last four races, and is tenth in the Chase, 18 points ahead of Kasey Kahne.

    “As you know,” Stewart said, “I’m losing Office Depot as a primary sponsor. Whereas the No. 14 has been ‘Office Depot’d’ for many years, it’s now being ‘Office Deposed.’ It seems that sponsorships, like helmets, are going ‘Mobil.’”

    7. Matt Kenseth: Kenseth led the Roush Fenway charge at Atlanta, finishing ninth for his 15th top-10 of the year. He is third in the point standings, 21 out of first.

    “Tony Stewart said there is no ill will between us from the Bristol helmet toss,” Kenseth said. “Considering Stewart’s history of holding grudges, I’m skeptical when he says ‘We’re cool.’

    “I’m finally able to officially announce my signing with Joe Gibbs Racing. It’s not like it was a secret, so I was quite taken aback by all the questions ‘thrown’ at me at the press conference.”

    8. Martin Truex, Jr.: Truex hopes for his first win of the year crumbled when Jamie McMurray slammed the wall with five laps to go. Truex was edged out of the ensuing pit stop by Denny Hamlin, and eventually finished fourth. He is fifth in the point standings, and unless he wins at Richmond on Saturday, will start at the bottom of the Chase field.

    “I, along with NAPA, signed on for another three years with Michael Waltrip Racing,” Truex said. “Now, I think I’d rather ‘dot the eyes’ of McMurray as opposed to those of the contracts.”

    9. Kevin Harvick: Harvick led 101 laps, second to Denny Hamlin’s 105, and finished fifth, his first top-5 result since a second at Dover. Harvick is ninth in the point standings, 72 out of first.

    “A water bottle may have cost me the win in Saturday’s Nationwide race,” Harvick said. “I only wish the explanation for my lack of Sprint Cup wins could be explained as easily.”

    10. Kyle Busch: Busch kept his Chase hopes alive, with help from Joe Gibbs teammate Denny Hamlin, with a sixth in the AdvoCare 500. Hamlin’s win prevented Jeff Gordon from an all-important second victory, thereby allowing Busch to maintain a wildcard spot.

    “If anyone deserves to be a ‘wild card,’” Busch said, “it’s me, although the ‘old’ Kyle Busch was wilder and more of a card than the ‘current’ Kyle Busch. Strangely enough, for once, people are encouraging me to ‘go wild.’”

  • NASCAR Top-10 Power Rankings: Bristol

    NASCAR Top-10 Power Rankings: Bristol

    [media-credit name=”Dan Sanger” align=”alignright” width=”217″][/media-credit]Note: The quotes in this article are fictional.

    1. Jimmie Johnson: Johnson finished second at Bristol and clinched a spot in the Chase For The Cup. He moved up two places to second in the Sprint Cup point standings, 11 behind Greg Biffle.

    “What a dramatic race,” Johnson said. “There was helmet-tossing, finger-wagging, and lots of trash talking. Obviously, Danica Patrick wasn’t the only one to get her panties in a wad.

    “And speaking of ‘unmentionables,’ I think it’s clear that when speaking of potential 2012 Cup champions, no other names should enter the conversation except mine. I’ve got the car, the cool demeanor, and a crew chief who knows his way around, especially the rules.”

    2. Denny Hamlin: Hamlin passed Carl Edwards with 39 laps remaining and went on to win for the first time at Bristol. Hamlin’s third win tied him with Jimmie Johnson, Tony Stewart, and Brad Keselowski, and all but clinched a spot in the Chase.

    “I may be the only Joe Gibbs Racing driver to make the Chase For The Cup,” Hamlin said. “And that’s fine with me, because I’m perfectly happy to remain single.

    “My third win all but guarantees me a spot in the Chase. Above all, I want to control my own destiny where the Chase is concerned. Contrary to what you may have heard, I do believe in ‘berth control.’”

    3. Dale Earnhardt, Jr.: Earnhardt finished 12th  in the Irwin Tools Night Race, joining a trio of his Hendrick Motorsports teammates in the top 12. With his finish, Earnhardt clinched a spot in the Chase For The Cup.

    “That’s right,” Earnhardt said. “I’ve mathematically earned a spot in the Chase. That’s a huge milestone, because, for once, the members of Junior Nation are happy to ‘do the math.’”

    4. Greg Biffle: Biffle finished 19th on a disappointing night for Roush Fenway Racing at Bristol, as Matt Kenseth tangled with Tony Stewart and Carl Edwards ran out of gas late. Despite the finish, Biffle punched his ticket to the Chase and continues to lead the points standings.

    “What a throw by Tony Stewart,” Biffle said. “Now I’m the only Roush Fenway driver not to fall victim to Stewart’s ‘mind’ games. Matt obviously has been involved in his share of retaliatory incidents at Bristol. Sure, Tony Stewart needs anger management; Matt needs danger management.”

    5. Matt Kenseth: Kenseth and Tony Stewart wrecked while battling for the lead midway through Saturday night’s race, sending both into the inside wall. As Kenseth passed Stewart on pit road, a disgruntled Stewart flung his helmet at the No. 17 Ford, nailing it squarely on the front bumper. Kenseth eventually finished 25th and fell two places in the point standings to fourth.

    “I felt like Juan Montoya,” Kenseth said, “because I was target-ed. Tony aims like a champ, but throws like a girl. Everyone’s always said Tony likes to throw ‘blame’ around. This is an obvious example.”

    6. Tony Stewart: After a costly spin with Matt Kenseth damaged his No. 14 Chevrolet, Stewart retaliated by tossing his helmet at Kenseth’s car on pit road. After eventually posting a 27th-place finish, Stewart vowed to wreck Kenseth for the rest of the year.

    “If Kenseth gets in my way again,” Stewart said, “heads will roll, again. I let my temper get the best of me. As you know, my temper is undefeated in matchups with ‘me.’

    “Kenseth’s going to get what’s coming to him. At least that’s what Joe Gibbs tells me.”

    7. Brad Keselowski: Keselowski took a bump from behind on lap 263 that sent him into the outside wall, resulting in damage to the front-end alignment. He eventually finished 30th, 66 laps down. He fell two spots to seventh in the point standings and is 59 out of first.

    “It’s too bad Matt Kenseth wasn’t driving a ‘Dodge,’” Keselowski said. “Then maybe he could have avoided Tony Stewart’s helmet. As it was, Kenseth is an ass(ault victim).”

    8. Clint Bowyer: Bowyer remained solidly in the hunt for a Chase spot with a seventh at Bristol, his 14th top-10 finish of the year. Now sixth in the points standings, he trails Greg baffle by 55.

    “Who knew Tony Stewart was such a good golfer?” Bowyer said. “His approach to ‘17’ was perfect. I bet Tony wishes he would have tossed his HANS device at Kenseth as well. Then, he could honestly say he showed ‘restraint.’”

    9. Kasey Kahne: Kahne finished ninth in the Irwin Tools Night Race, joining Hendrick teammates Jimmie Johnson and Jeff Gordon, who finished second and third, in the top 10. He currently holds the first wild card spot for the Chase For The Cup.

    “We’d really like to get four Hendrick drivers in the Chase,” Kahne said. “Mainly, to keep Jimmie Johnson ‘company.’”

    10. Martin Truex, Jr.: Truex lead 44 laps and finished 11th in the Irwin Tools Night Race. He moved up one spot to fifth in the Sprint Cup point standings and trails Greg Biffle by 52.

    “Without a win this year,” Truex said, “I’ll be starting at the back of the Chase field. In other words, I’ll be giving everyone a ‘head start,’ which is exactly what Tony Stewart gave a surprised Matt Kenseth.”

  • NASCAR Top-10 Power Rankings: Michigan

    NASCAR Top-10 Power Rankings: Michigan

    [media-credit name=”Dan Sanger” align=”alignright” width=”226″][/media-credit]Note: The quotes in this article are fictional.

    1. Jimmie Johnson: After passing Brad Keselowski on lap 191, Johnson was poised to capture his series-best fourth win of the year. But a blown engine just four laps later ended Johnson’s day, and his 27th-place finished dropped him to fourth in the point standings.

    “That’s was my second engine failure of the weekend,” Johnson said. “Let me tell you, that ‘b(Lowe’s).’ Who’s building these things? Ironically, he may have to be ‘let go.’

    “Is Keselowski the biggest threat to my chances of winning my sixth Cup title? If number of tweets is any indication, then I’m in deep trouble. But I, a five-time champion, tend to put more stock in ‘hardware’ instead of ‘software.’ I don’t follow @Kes, or that logic.”

    2. Brad Keselowski: Keselowski took the runner-up spot for the second-straight week, finishing second to Greg Biffle in the Pure Michigan 400. Keselowski remained fifth in the point standings and is 47 out of first.

    “Am I destined for second place?” Keselowski said. “Apparently, I need to send a tweet to ‘@theleader,’ because that’s who I’m following.

    “I hear than Joey Logano could be my new teammate at Penske Racing. I think it would be great to see Joey’s name on the side of a Penske Dodge. That way, I can once again say I have a teammate who’s ‘on something.’”

    3. Greg Biffle: Biffle took the lead when Jimmie Johnson’s engine blew on lap 196, and held off Brad Keselowski to win the Pure Michigan 400. It was Biffle’s second win of the year, giving him the Sprint Cup points lead and significantly improving his position in the Chase.

    “These are happy days for me,” Biffle said. “Oddly enough, Johnson’s ‘expiration point’ became my ‘inspiration point.’ And I ‘made out’ well.

    “It looks like Jack Roush’s hopes for the Cup title rest solely on my shoulders. Matt Kenseth seems to be mailing it in, while Carl Edwards won’t deliver on Sunday.”

    4. Dale Earnhardt, Jr.: Earnhardt, who won at Michigan in June, finished fourth in the Pure Michigan 400, his tenth top-10 of the year. He moved up one spot in the Sprint Cup point standings to third, 22 behind Greg Biffle.

    “Jeff Gordon had some unkind words for me over the radio at Michigan,” Earnhardt said. “I’m not offended. And neither is Rick Hendrick. In his eyes, Gordon was just ‘sharing information.”

    5. Matt Kenseth: Kenseth finished 17th at Michigan, as Roush Fenway teammate Greg Biffle gave Jack Roush his 12th win at Michigan. Kenseth is now second in the point standings, 20 behind Biffle.

    “Congratulations to Greg Biffle,” Kenseth said. “I have no problem ‘giving it up’ for the Biff.’ I also have no problem ‘giving it up’ for a fat new contract with Joe Gibbs Racing. I envy Biffle. He closed the deal and wasn’t afraid to talk about it.”

    6. Kasey Kahne: Kahne solidified his wildcard position in the standings with a third in the Pure Michigan 400. He is 11th in the point standings, 33 behind Deny Hamlin in 10th.

    “Mark Martin had a heck of a crash on Sunday,” Kahne said. “Officially, he retired on lap 64. Considering the magnitude of the wreck, I’m surprised Mark was able to walk away. I’m even more surprised he didn’t officially announce his retirement.”

    7. Tony Stewart: Stewart finished 32nd at Michigan after a long day in which he struggled after losing a cylinder on lap 51. After several trips to the garage, Stewart ended the day 92 laps down.

    “Luckily,” Stewart said, “I’ve got three wins to fall back on. And I pride myself on being amply cushioned.

    “My good friend Danica Patrick ran over a shoe in Montreal on Saturday. It seems she’s trying a little too hard to get her ‘footing’ in NASCAR. She probably could have used a shoe ‘horn.’ The GoDaddy.com car spits out shoes faster than a Chinese Nike factory.”

    8. Denny Hamlin: Hamlin finished 11th at Michigan, leading one lap and just missing on his 12th top-10 result of the year. He is tenth in the point standings, 96 out of first.

    “Despite my standing in the points,” Hamlin said, “I still think I’ll contend for the Sprint Cup title once the Chase begins. So, unlike my unborn child, my championship hopes are ‘legitimate.”

    9. Clint Bowyer: Bowyer posted his third consecutive top-10 finish with a seventh in the Pure Michigan 400. He remained seventh in the Sprint Cup point standings, 66 out of first and firmly in place to make the Chase.

    “I’m a shoo-in to make the Chase,” Bowyer said. “And speaking of ‘shoe-ins,’ a sneaker tossed on the track in Montreal derailed Danica Patrick’s chances in the Nationwide race. She ran slap over the thing. I’m guessing she would have stopped had it been a high heel.”

    10. Martin Truex, Jr.: Truex finished 10th at Michigan, scoring his 13th top-10 result of the year. He stands sixth in the point standings, 60 out of first.

    “Michael Waltrip Racing is poised to put two cars in the Chase For The Cup,” Truex said. “Can you imagine an MWR driver winning the Sprint Cup championship? Michael says if you can’t ‘buy’ that, maybe you will ‘rent’ it.”

  • NASCAR Top-10 Power Rankings: Watkins Glen

    NASCAR Top-10 Power Rankings: Watkins Glen

    [media-credit name=”Ed Coombs” align=”alignright” width=”256″][/media-credit]Note: The quotes in this article are fictional.

    1. Jimmie Johnson: Johnson finished third at Watkins Glen, posting his Sprint Cup series-best 11th top-5 result. Johnson jumped three spots to the top of the points standings, and leads Greg Biffle by one.

    “Wow! What a finish!” Johnson said. “That’s what NASCAR racing is all about? Too bad it only happens once or twice a year.

    “But I’m tickled by any race that ends with me on top in the points standings. Now, is Marcos Ambrose a threat to win the Sprint Cup? No way, and the thought of such is pure ‘Tasmanian drivel.’”

    2. Dale Earnhardt, Jr.: Earnhardt spun with seven laps to go, losing a likely top-10 finish and crossing the line 28th. He tumbled out of the Sprint Cup points lead, and is now fourth, 17 out of first.

    “After two weeks atop the Sprint Cup point standings,” Earnhardt said, “who didn’t expect a tailspin.

    “The track was a mess. It was as ‘well-oiled’ as the Junior Nation campground. And

    3. Brad Keselowski: Keselowski led with one lap to go in the Finger Lakes 355 At The Glen, but was passed by Marcos Ambrose near the finish in a wild final lap. Keselowski was denied his fourth win of the year, but moved up two places to fifth in the points standings, 44 out of first.

    “I was so close to getting away with the win,” Keselowski said, “but much like Roger Penske’s other kids, I got ‘caught.’ If Roger’s boys would have been as slippery as the Watkins Glen track, they’d never have been caught.

    “As it is, Roger may have to pull another A.J. Allmendinger and disown them.”

    4. Greg Biffle: Biffle took sixth at Watkins Glen, as Roush Fenway Racing placed three cars in the top 14. Biffle moved up one spot to second in the point standings, and trails Jimmie Johnson by a single point.

    “I did what I needed to do at The Glen,” Biffle said. “Finish in the top 10, and steer clear of Boris Said. He finished 25th, which was nowhere near me. So, the answer to what Boris Said and Boris did is ‘nothing.’”

    5. Matt Kenseth: Kenseth finished a solid eight at Watkins Glen, earning his 14th top 10 of the year. He is now third in the point standings, trailing Greg Biffle by one and points-leader Jimmie Johnson by two.

    “I am soooo close,” Kenseth said, “to announcing the details of my deal with Joe Gibbs Racing. Hopefully, my last races with Roush Fenway Racing will see me contending for the Cup championship. I definitely want to have a ‘going away presence.’”

    6. Tony Stewart: Stewart was running second when he spun in the final turn with 16 laps remaining. With extensive rear-end damage to the No. 14 Office Depot/Mobil Chevy, he had to settle for 19th at The Glen.

    “I was going for ‘broke,’” Stewart said. “Unfortunately, I succeeded. It’s not often I can say ‘I lost it’ and it not have anything to do with Kurt Busch.”

    7. Kasey Kahne: Kahne remained in the hunt for a Chase position with a respectable 13th-place finish at Watkins Glen. He is 11th in the Sprint Cup point standings, and currently holds the first wildcard spot for the Chase.

    “I’ve never been to the Nantucket Yacht Club,” Kahne said, “but I’m confident I’ll fare better ‘in the Chase’ than Roger Penske’s boys.”

    8. Martin Truex, Jr.: Truex posted his 12th top-10 finish of the year with a 10th in the Finger Lakes 355 At The Glen. He is now sixth in the point standings, but with no wins on the year, would likely start at the bottom of the Chase For The Cup field.

    “You never know,” Truex said. “I could get hot and win the Sprint Cup championship. I would say I need to ‘Get in the Zone,’ but I’m contractually forbidden to do so.”

    9. Denny Hamlin: A disastrous weekend at Watkins Glen started with a crash in Friday practice and ended with a 34th-place finish on Sunday. Hamlin’s No. 11 Fed Ex Toyota suffered a fiery end when his engine blew and ignited on lap 57. Hamlin fell two places to tenth in the point standings, 84 out of first.

    “Kyle Busch and I were both victimized by our respective old nemeses,” Hamlin said. “For Kyle, it was Brad Keselowski. For me, it was a Toyota engine. Kyle and I were both left ‘fuming.’”

    10. Marcos Ambrose: Ambrose nipped Brad Keselowski at the wire to win for the second year in a row at Watkins Glen. Ambrose and Keselowski dueled on a wild final half-lap on a track made treacherous by leaked oil from the car of Bobby Labonte.

    “There’s only one way to describe this,” Ambrose said, “and that’s ‘Finger Lake-ing good!’ I gave Keselowski the slip. This more than makes up for Sonoma two years ago when I stalled my engine and let a sure win get away. There was only one way to describe that: ‘Sonoma bitch!’

    “I think it’s safe to say that I’m Tasmania’s most famous citizen who’s not a cartoon character.”