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Category: NASCAR Top-10 Power Rankings

Jeff’s NASCAR Top-10 Power Rankings

NASCAR Top-10 Power Rankings: Pocono

Note: The quotes in this article are fictional.

1. Chase Elliott: Elliott finished third in the M&M’s Fan Appreciation 400 at Pocono, but was awarded the win when first and second place winners Denny Hamlin and Kyle Busch were disqualified.

“My goals this season are twofold,” Elliott said. “First and foremost, I want to win my second Cup championship. Secondly, I want to see if I can convince fans to select me as NASCAR’s most popular driver for the fifth time, even with this villainous mustache.”

2. Denny Hamlin: Hamlin got past Ross Chastain on a Lap 19 restart and held off Kyle Busch over the final laps to win at Pocono, his seventh career win at the Tricky Triangle. But the win was later negated when Hamlin’s No. 11 car failed post-race inspection.

“This might be the biggest story in all of the sports world,” Hamlin said. “I may be biased, but I think NASCAR is the greatest sport in the world. In short, NASCAR rules.

“As for Chastain, if by ‘got past’ you mean ‘sent into the wall, then yes, that’s what happened. Ross had this coming, so it was well-deserved, and well, deserved. Sending a message to Chastain was No. 1 on my list of things to do, and I obviously sent it Fed Ex Priority.”

3. Kyle Busch: Busch took second in the M&M’s Fan Appreciation 400, but was disqualified after failing post-race inspection.

“I’m gonna plead ignorance,” Busch said. “I tried that in court once for a reckless driving charge, and it didn’t work.

“But if you want to hear about a real ‘Tricky Triangle,’ ask me about my agent, Joe Gibbs Racing, and myself in contract talks.”

4. Ross Chastain: Chastain finished 34th after Denny Hamlin squeezed him into the wall on a restart with 19 laps to go. Chastain’s No. 1 Chevy bounced off the wall and into the path of Kevin Harvick’s No. 4 Ford.

“It’s one thing to have it coming,” Chastain said, “and it’s another thing to see it coming. I had both.”

5. Martin Truex Jr.: Truex finished ninth at Pocono as all four Joe Gibbs Racing cars posted top-10 finishes, although Denny Hamlin and Kyle Busch were later disqualified

“What a day for Joe Gibbs,” Truex said. “Not only did JGR cars dominate, but his grandson Ty Gibbs subbed for Kurt Busch and looked strong with an 18th-place finish. It all adds up to Joe’s belief that any Busch brother, Kurt or Kyle, especially, is replaceable.”

6. Ryan Blaney: Blaney got loose coming out of Turn 3 and slammed the inside wall hard on Lap 136. He finished 35th.

“Wow,” Blaney said, “I can’t believe Denny Hamlin and Kyle Busch were disqualified. Those are some high profile ‘DQ’s.’ You know what else is a high profile ‘DQ?’ Any Dairy Queen at which Jimmy Spencer chooses to eat.”

7. Christopher Bell: Bell followed up his win at New Hampshire with a solid sixth at Pocono.

“Make that a fourth,” Bell said. “Denny Hamlin and Kyle Busch were disqualified for failing post-race inspection, and since I also drive for Joe Gibbs Racing, I’d like to disassociate myself from them.”

8. Joey Logano: Logano finished 22nd at Pocono.

“There’s gonna be a race next season in Chicago on a street circuit,” Logano said. “The race is scheduled for July 2nd, 2023, and I’m expecting it to be a huge success. I mean, how can it not be great for the city? It’s Chicago, for Christ’s sake; having race cars flying through the streets means there won’t be bullets doing the same.”

9. Kyle Larson: Larson finished third in the M&M’s Fan Appreciation 400 at Pocono.

“First and second place finishers Denny Hamlin and Kyle Busch were disqualified for failing post-race inspections,” Larson said. “There are words in this sport you never want to hear, and as an expert on the subject, I can tell you definitively that ‘disqualification’ is high on the list.”

10. Kevin Harvick: Harvick finished a disappointing 29th at Pocono after suffering damage when he was collected in the Denny Hamlin-Ross Chastain incident with 19 laps to go.

“I may be one of the oldest drivers in the Cup series,” Harvick said, “but I’m sick and tired of being the ‘adult in the room.’ I hate being collateral damage in someone else’s feud. It disgusts me and leaves a bad taste in my mouth, just like Busch Light Apple.”

July 25, 2022
NASCAR Top-10 Power Rankings: New Hampshire

Note: The quotes in this article are fictional.

1. Chase Elliott: Elliott, seeking his second consecutive win, took the runner-up spot at New Hampshire. He leads the points standings by 16 over Ross Chastain.

“Christopher Bell just left me in the dust,” Elliott said. “He beat me by over five seconds. In other words, he ‘went off,’ unlike the siren at the Dawsonville Pool Hall.”

2. Ross Chastain: Chastain finished eighth at New Hampshire, posting his 11th top 10 of the season.

“I didn’t have the best car,” Chastain said, “and I’m certainly not the best driver. But I’m extremely proud of my finish. I earned it. You could say I deserve everything I get, and I’m sure Denny Hamlin would agree.”

3. Martin Truex Jr.: Truex started on the pole at New Hampshire and won Stages 1 and 2, but couldn’t close the deal, settling for a fourth-place finish.

“My car was primarily sponsored by Interstate Batteries,” Truex said. “Most people are used to seeing that logo on Kyle Busch’s car. I would name a sponsor that Kyle has lined up for next year, but I’m drawing a blank on that.”

4. Kevin Harvick: Harvick finished fifth at New Hampshire.

“My in-car camera was sponsored by Hunt Brothers Pizza,” Harvick said. “Thanks to Hunt Brothers Pizza for allowing the viewer to see what’s in front of me. And also thanks to Hunt Brothers Pizza, you don’t want to see what’s behind you after eating it.”

5. Denny Hamlin: Hamlin finished sixth at New Hampshire, posting his fourth top 10 of the year.

“Congratulations to my Joe Gibbs Racing teammate Christopher Bell,” Hamlin said. “Now, he’s got something Martin Truex Jr. doesn’t have – a win; something Kyle Busch doesn’t have – a contract; and something I don’t have – 15 years to win a Cup title.”

6. Joey Logano: Logano finished 24th in New Hampshire.

“If you saw the word ‘Slam’ on Daniel Suarez’s car,” Logano said, “your eyes did not deceive you. And if you knew that ‘Slam’ promoted Pitbull’s Slam! Charter Schools, then you must be pretty smart, and obviously not a product of a school system with ‘Slam’ in its title.”

7. Kyle Busch: Busch survived two spins and worked his way to a 12th in the Ambetter 301 at New Hampshire.

“Joe Gibbs said he’s ‘surprised’ the team hasn’t signed me to a contract extension,” Busch said. “One would think for a driver who’s found the finish line so many times, finding the dotted line wouldn’t be so hard.”

8. Ryan Blaney: Blaney finished 18th in the Ambetter 301.

“How about that battle between Brad Keselowski and Austin Dillon?” Blaney said. “Those guys were really trying to wreck each other. Currently, that’s what disagreements in the Cup series amount to – trading paint. If it were the Xfinity series, the two drivers would be trading punches.”

9. Christopher Bell: Bell passed Chase Elliott with 42 laps to go and pulled away to win at New Hampshire, taking his first win of the season and clinching a playoff spot.

“This was an incredibly special win,” Bell said. “Not only did I clinch a playoff berth, but I also won a live lobster as a trophy. I heard that Tim Richmond once won a race and got crabs.”

10. William Byron: Byron finished 11th at New Hampshire and is eighth in the points standings, 70 out of first.

“I don’t drive a Toyota,” Byron said, “but I can appreciate Toyota’s commercial starring the Busch brothers, Kurt and Kyle. And it makes sense that Kurt would be the one abducted by aliens because apparently, no one wants Kyle.”

July 18, 2022
NASCAR Top-10 Power Rankings: Atlanta

Note: The quotes in this article are fictional.

1. Chase Elliott: Elliott started on the pole and swept all the stages, taking the win with a pass for the lead on Corey LaJoie with two laps to go. It was Elliott’s third win of the season, and he leads the points standings.

“They sounded the siren at Dawsonville Pool Room, ” Elliott said. “That means that I won a race. It also means the good people of Dawsonville are smiling, although it’s sometimes hard to tell when they are.”

2. Ross Chastain: Chastain finished second in the Quaker State 400 at Atlanta Motor Speedway.

“I was involved in quite a few incidents on Sunday,” Chastain said. “I mean, if you’re one of the few drivers I haven’t wrecked, you can best bet I’ll ‘turn’ you against me very soon.”

3. Ryan Blaney: Blaney ran in the top 10 for the majority of the day and eventually crossed the line fifth in the Quaker State 400, earning his seventh top-five of the year.

“I was lucky to avoid all the spins and incidents that characterized Sunday’s race,” Blaney said. “Honestly, with cars spinning and smoking, sometimes it feels like I’m driving blind out there. I’m sure Ross Chastain knows the feeling.”

4. Martin Truex Jr.: Truex survived an early spin and battled back from a lap down to contend for the win at Atlanta. He finished ninth.

“Not surprisingly,” Truex said, “my spin was caused by Ross Chastain. It’s very fitting that Chastain has ‘Jockey’ on his car because when you race near him, you’ll need a change of underwear.”

5. Kyle Larson: Larson finished 11th at Atlanta as Hendrick Motorsports teammate Chase Elliott took the win.

“I think all drivers love racing at Atlanta Motor Speedway,” Larson said. “You can go wide open and don’t have to worry about braking. And personally, I’d like to keep my foot on the floor. That way, it stays out of my mouth.”

6. Joey Logano: Logano was involved in two incidents at Atlanta, the last of which sent him limping to the pits. He eventually finished 26th.

“I was involved in an early wreck and my car briefly got some air under it,” Logano said. “That’s a scary feeling. I certainly don’t want the car to roll. The only thing I’m interested in ‘flipping’ is the bird, to Matt Kenseth.”

7. Kyle Busch: Busch struggled to a 20th-place finish at Atlanta.

“I still don’t have a contract for 2023,” Busch said. “I haven’t felt this unwanted since I was first born.”

8. Kevin Harvick: Harvick finished 10th in the Quaker State 400, his eighth top-10 of the year.

“Hunt Brothers Pizza was the primary sponsor of my No. 4 Ford,” Harvick said. “I run well when that’s the case. It’s like they say: ‘Good things happen when Hunt Brothers Pizza is on you. It’s an entirely different story when Hunt Brothers Pizza is in you.”

9. Daniel Suarez: Suarez finished sixth in the Quaker State 400.

“Corey LaJoie actually led 19 laps in the race,” Suarez said. “For a low-budget team like LaJoie’s, that’s mega-cool. Heck, it’s even MAGA-cool. Corey was going all out for the win but came up just short. Or did he? Honestly, I’ve got a feeling that he might challenge the outcome of that race.”

10. Aric Almirola: Almirola led the charge for Stewart Haas Racing, posting an eighth at Atlanta.

“I’ll take an eighth-place finish,” Almirola said, “but I think it could have been much better. If I had to give my performance a grade, it would be a B minus. If I had to give my parents a grade on spelling ‘Eric’ correctly, it would be a D minus.”

July 11, 2022
NASCAR Top-10 Power Rankings: Road America

Note: The quotes in this article are fictional.

1. Chase Elliott: Eliott dominated early at Road America, but couldn’t overcome Tyler Reddick’s late surge and had to settle for second.

“Reddick just had too much for me there at the end in that No. 8 3CHI Chevy,” Elliott said. “Fittingly enough, he ‘smoked’ me.”

2. Ross Chastain: Chastain finished fourth at Road America, posting his Cup-series best of nine top-fives in a season.

“I thought I drove a great race,” Chastain said. “One, because I finished fourth, and two, because I didn’t get lectured by some veterans after the race.”

3. Ryan Blaney: Blaney won Stage 2, led 4 laps, and finished 11th in the Kwik Trip 250.

“Tyler Reddick was pretty darn excited to get his first Cup win and qualify for the postseason,” Blaney said. “I mean, maybe too excited. Heck, I think he started hyperventilating. I said, ‘Dude, take deep breaths.’ Then I thought, ‘He’s got ‘3CHI’ on his car.’ So then I said, ‘Dude, inhale.’”

4. Kyle Larson: Larson finished a distant third at Road America, as Tyler Reddick dominated late to win his way into the post-season.

“Congratulations to Tyler on such a huge win,” Larson said. “As the driver of the 3CHI Chevrolet, he’ll probably remember his first Cup victory with a ‘bowl.’”

5. Joey Logano: Logano finished 27th at Road America.

“I’ve had a pretty crappy year on road courses,” Logano said. “I’ve tried so hard to improve my driving on circuits, but apparently, I’m not making any progress. In other words, it looks like, ironically, I’m ‘going in circles.’”

6. Kyle Busch: Busch posted a disappointing 29th-place finish at Road America, finishing as the last car on the lead lap.

“‘Road America’ is such a fitting name for a race venue on July 4th weekend,” Busch said. “Chode America’ is such a fitting name for me.”

7. Kevin Harvick: Harvick finished 10th in the Kwik Trip 250 as Tyler Reddick won to become the 13th driver to clinch a playoff spot via a win.

“Reddick’s win knocked me out of playoff position,” Harvick said. “And judging by the lack of driver confrontations this season, it might be the only ‘knockout’ we’ll see this year.”

8. Martin Truex Jr.: Truex finished 13th at Road America, posting Toyota’s best finish on the day.

“It was just a sad day for Toyota overall,” Truex said. “But congratulations to Tyler Reddick. If you’re handing out grades, he gets an A-plus. And speaking of the ‘3CHI’ car advertising CBD oil, among other things, Toyota’s grade for the race was not a ‘C,’ nor a ‘B,’ nor a ‘D,’ but an ‘F.’”

9. Daniel Suarez: Suarez came home fifth at Road America.

“I know the elation Reddick feels,” Suarez said. “I too got my first cup win on a road course. And I know I couldn’t have done it without my team. So I, much like Reddick in his No. 8 3CHI Chevrolet, know it was a ‘joint’ effort.’”

10. Tyler Reddick: Reddick pulled away from Chase Elliott in the closing laps to win the Kwik Trip 250 at Road America. The win put Reddick in the playoff field.

“My No. 8 car was dialed in,” Reddick said. “The 3CHI Chevrolet was fast; you could even say it was ‘blazing.’ Now, my confidence is through the roof. In fact, it’s growing like a weed.”

July 4, 2022
NASCAR Top-10 Power Rankings: Nashville

Note: The quotes in this article are fictional.

1. Chase Elliott: Elliott surged late and held off Kurt Busch to win the Ally 400 at Nashville, earning his first win since May 1st at Dover.

“That was nearly two months without a victory,” Elliott said. “But holding this guitar trophy means I’m not going to ‘fret’ over that.”

2. Ross Chastain: Chastain took fifth in the Ally 400.

“My No. 1 car was primarily sponsored by Jockey for this race,” Chastain said. “In this business, you can never underestimate the importance of clean underwear, what with racing terms like ‘dirty air,’ ‘runs,’ and ‘rear spoilers.’”

3. Ryan Blaney: Blaney posted a solid third in the Ally 400 at Nashville, scoring his seventh top-five of the season.

“I’m still looking for that elusive win this season,” Blaney said. “I’d get my father Dave to help me find it, but history says he has no clue where to find a win.”

4. Joey Logano: Logano finished ninth at Nashville.

“Former Penske Racing great Rusty Wallace is appearing in a new Skechers commercial,” Logano said. “So, while Rusty wants to put his shoe in the retail market, his former teammate Ryan Newman still wants to put his shoe somewhere else, and that’s in Rusty where the sun don’t shine.”

5. Kyle Busch: Busch was running second at the final caution at Nashville, and opted to pit for tires, which was ultimately the wrong decision. Busch finished 21st, as Chase Elliott, who stayed out, took the win.

“Obviously,” Busch said, “pitting was the wrong call. And, obviously, only signing 100 autographs at a local Wal-Mart was also the wrong call. And obviously, the right thing to do would have been to sign fewer.”

6. Kevin Harvick: Harvick came home 10th at Nashville, posting his eighth top-10 of the year.

“Once again,” Harvick said, “my car was adorned with the Busch Light Apple paint scheme. I’m interested in people’s opinion of what appears to be an awful flavor. If you’re hesitant to give that opinion, I suggest you ‘spit it out.’”

7. Martin Truex Jr.: Truex won Stages 1 and 2, but a late pit stop gamble shuffled him back, and he finished 22nd in the Ally 400.

“I’m returning to Joe Gibbs Racing in 2023,” Truex said. “I think JGR cars give me the best chance to go fast and win races. So, when I ask myself, ‘Should I stay or should I go?,’ I can confidently answer ‘Both.’”

8. Kyle Larson: Larson started third and finished fourth at Nashville, and is seventh in the points standings.

“I haven’t won a race since February in California,” Larson said. “So I feel like I’m due, for a win, or sensitivity training, or both.”

9. Denny Hamlin: Hamlin started on the pole and led a race-high 114 laps en route to a sixth-place finish at Nashville.

“It could have been a much better finish,” Hamlin said. “I should have stayed out on that last caution. If I had it to do over, I would have done a ‘do-over.’”

10. Christopher Bell: Bell finished eighth at Nashville.

“Sunday’s race was delayed twice for lightning,” Bell said, “and once for rain. If only Tim Richmond and Jeremy Mayfield could have somehow caused a disturbance, the race could have also been delayed for ‘snow’ and ‘ice.’”

June 27, 2022
NASCAR Top-10 Power Rankings: Sonoma

Note: The quotes in this article are fictional.

1. Kyle Busch: Busch locked up his rear tires and spun on a restart on Lap 88, ruining his shot at challenging for the win at Sonoma. Busch finished 30th.

“Braking news,” Busch said. “I really put the ‘F’ in ‘KFB’ on that restart.”

2. Ross Chastain: Chastain finished seventh in the Toyota/Save Mart 350.

“I talked to Denny Hamlin and Chase Elliott in regards to my mistakes at Gateway,” Chastain said. “But that was nothing compared to getting called out by Tony Stewart, who was in the Fox Sports booth. If I had a resume to match that of Stewart, I would tell him to ‘Eat those words.’ And the thing is, Tony would probably do it anyway.”

3. Chase Elliott: Elliott led 26 laps and finished eighth in the Toyota/Save Mart 350.

“We really blew a pit stop that cost us any chance of winning,” Elliott said. “We didn’t fully tighten a lug nut and then had to back up. That’s a penalty for pitting outside the box. So, even though I’m the one shifting the car in reverse, it’s my team that actually makes me go backwards.”

4. Joey Logano: Logano captured Stage 2 at Sonoma and finished 17th.

“I’m happy for Daniel Suarez,” Logano said. “And I think it’s awesome he celebrated by breaking a taco pinata in Victory Circle. I can only imagine the promotional tie-in a certain fast-food restaurant could be planning. Suarez’s is a Cinderella story, and I’m guessing his date for the ball in this commercial is the ‘Taco Belle.’”

5. Ryan Blaney: Blaney finished 6th at Sonoma.

“You may have heard me on my radio commenting on the difficulty of passing,” Blaney said. “I was dropping truth bombs while simultaneously dropping ‘F-bombs.’”

6. Daniel Suarez: Suarez snatched his first Cup series win with a brilliant drive at Sonoma to win the Toyota/Save Mart 350.

“I’m the first Mexican driver to win in the Cup series,” Suarez said. “That’s a big deal. I can’t wait to go home and celebrate with my fans. So, for all the Americans who want me to ‘go back from where I came,’ I plan to.”

7. Kyle Larson: Larson started on the pole at Sonoma and won Stage 1, but disaster struck when his No. 5 Chevy lost its right front wheel on lap 84. Larson finished 15th.

“I could have won this race,” Larson said. “I won the pole, and the car was set up perfectly. I was fully prepared to drive the wheels off my car until my pit crew beat me to it.”

8. Kevin Harvick: Harvick took fourth at Sonoma, posting his fourth top-five of the season.

“I was lucky to finish fourth,” Harvick said. “We had a pit stop in which the car fell off the jack. My pit crew’s been all over the place. Therefore, my season’s had more ups and downs than the jack.”

9. Martin Truex Jr.: Truex struggled at Sonoma with a 26th-place finish.

“The Clash is returning to the Los Angeles Coliseum in 2023,” Truex said. “So, we’re all heading back to ‘La La Land.” Now, if Michael Waltrip does his grid walk at the Clash, it will most certainly be ‘Blah Blah Land.’”

10. Alex Bowman: Bowman finished 16th in the Toyota/Save Mart 350.

“My team was one of the few Hendrick Motorsports teams that understand that race cars work better with four wheels,” Bowman said.

“It’s always fun to visit Sonoma. It’s wine country and probably the only stop on the season where the word ‘charcuterie’ is used correctly.”

June 13, 2022
NASCAR Top-10 Power Rankings: Gateway

Note: The quotes in this article are fictional.

1. Kyle Busch: Busch came up short in a back-and-forth battle with Joey Logano in the Enjoy Illinois 300, taking the runner-up spot.

“That was good, clean racing at its finest,” Busch said. “And the exact opposite of what you saw from Denny Hamlin, Ross Chastain, and Chase Elliott. If NASCAR is trying to appeal to a younger audience, I guess they’re gonna do it with child-like behavior. I’m just shocked I wasn’t involved in those immature shenanigans.”

2. Joey Logano: Logano came out on top in a spirited battle with Kyle Busch to get the win in the inaugural Cup race at World Wide Technology Raceway.

“That was fun,” Logano said. “I like measuring myself against the best. When I can’t do that, I like measuring myself against someone who thinks he’s the best. That’s Kyle.”

3. Ross Chastain: Chastain overcame several run-ins with Denny Hamlin and Chase Elliott to post an eighth-place finish at Worldwide Technology Raceway.

“Hamlin was holding me up,” Chastain said. “I was so close to him, he could see the word ‘Moose’ on my hood. In hindsight, maybe my hood should have read ‘Moove.’

“That being said, I admitted my mistakes after the race, which is something unheard of in this sport. I’ll probably get accused by some NASCAR old-school fans of being ‘woke.’”

4. Ryan Blaney: Blaney finished fourth in the Enjoy Illinois 300.

“My No. 12 Ford sported the ‘Dent Wizard’ paint scheme,” Blaney said. “Many, if not all, of the drivers call Brad Keselowski the ‘Dent Wizard,’ because he can magically cause damage to your car without even touching it.”

5. Kyle Larson: Larson finished 12th at Gateway and is now mired in a 13-race Cup winless streak.

“Not winning is something totally foreign to me,” Larson said. “The only things I’m used to losing are dignity and sponsors.”

6. Martin Truex Jr.: Truex started 13th and finished sixth in the Enjoy Illinois 300.

“That was my 600th Cup series start,” Truex said. “And with my contract expiring, I’m trying to decide whether or not I want to do this anymore. ‘To re-tire, or not to re-tire.’ That is the question. And this time, it’s entirely up to me, and not my crew chief, to answer it.”

7. Chase Elliott: Elliott finished 21st in the Enjoy Illinois 300, his day hindered by a bump from Ross Chastain on Lap 101 that spun Elliott into traffic.

“Chastain drove like a man possessed,” Elliott said. “In that case, somebody needs to call an exorcist to get the ‘hell’ out of Ross, because he is one ‘hell’ of a bad driver.”

8. Alex Bowman: Bowman finished 13th at Gateway as Hendrick Motorsports failed to place a driver in the top 10.

“It looks like Denny Hamlin’s got a new feuding partner,” Bowman said, “in Ross Chastain. That’s good for me. Don’t get me wrong, I’m still a ‘hack;’ but with Chastain in the mix, I’m not the ‘absolute hack.’”

9. Denny Hamlin: Hamlin was bumped into the wall by Ross Chastain on Lap 64 at Gateway and eventually finished 34th, 11 laps off the lead lap.

“I spent most of the race trying to get revenge on Chastain,” Hamlin said. “If only I could match that same determination in the championship round of the playoffs, I’d probably have more than zero championships.”

10. Aric Almirola: Almirola finished fifth at Gateway, posting his second top-five of the season.

“This was the Cup series’ only stop in the state of Illinois,” Almirola said. “If you told the average NASCAR fans that the ‘S’ in ‘Illinois’ in silent, they would likely say ‘No ‘S’.’”

June 6, 2022
NASCAR Top-10 Power Rankings: Charlotte

Note: The quotes in this article are fictional.

1. Kyle Busch: Busch suffered several spins at Charlotte, but attrition and a big crash in the first overtime restart opened the door for Busch to contend for the win. He finished second to Joe Gibbs Racing teammate Denny Hamlin.

“I was frustrated for most of the race,” Busch said. “But when the going gets tough, you can do one of two things–either stay positive and hope for the best, or whine, complain, and moan and pray you get lucky. I chose the latter.”

2. Ross Chastain: Chastain ran up front consistently, winning Stage 3, and was in line for a certain top-five finish before being collected in an accident after the first overtime restart. Chastain finished 15th.

“I’m disappointed,” Chastain said. “Luckily, I already have two wins this season. I come from a family of watermelon farmers. So, qualifying for the NASCAR playoffs is important to me and my family. The last thing we want is for me to be ‘seedless’ once the post-season starts.”

3. Kyle Larson: Larson found trouble on many occasions early at Charlotte, but bounced back and was leading with a lap to go when Chase Briscoe lost control while chasing Larson, bringing out a caution. Larson spun on an overtime restart, and eventually finished ninth.

“Let’s see,” Larson said. “I wrecked in Saturday practice, had two equipment violations during Sunday’s race, hit the wall twice, had a fire in the pits, and spun a few times. Just a disastrous weekend. Heck, I don’t know what to say. I do know what not to say.”

4. Chase Elliott: Elliott won Stage 1 and led 86 laps, but a spin on lap 186 caused damage when he hit the wall. Elliott retired on Lap 193 and finished 33rd.

“I wasn’t around for all of it,” Elliott said, “but that race lasted more than five hours. To put that into perspective, it lasted as long as what Michael Waltrip’s ‘Grid Walk’ feels like.”

5. Alex Bowman: Bowman finished 10th at Charlotte.

“You saw an abundance of tire issues at Charlotte,” Bowman said. “There were blown tires, flat tires, runaway tires, and if you looked in the stands, plenty of spare tires.”

6. Ryan Blaney: Blaney got loose and tapped the wall on Lap 164, then lost control and triggered a big pileup on Lap 191, which involved 12 cars. Blaney finished 29th.

“I won $1,000,000 in the All-Star Race at Texas Motor Speedway,” Blaney said. “So, much like in Texas, I cost several drivers $1,000,000 at Charlotte.”

7. Martin Truex Jr.: Truex finished 12th at Charlotte.

“The Sunday before Memorial Day is the greatest day in auto racing,” Truex said. “You can wake up to the Monaco Grand Prix, have lunch with the Indianapolis 500, and get put to sleep by the Coca-Cola 600.”

8. Joey Logano: Logano finished 20th in the Coca-Cola 600.

“Like many other drivers,” Logano said, “I got taken out by a driver who made a dumb mistake. Charlotte was the long-time home of NASCAR’s All-Star Race. As you saw in Sunday’s Coca-Cola 600, the drivers in NASCAR are not all-stars. Some are scrubs.”

9. Denny Hamlin: Hamlin started on the pole at Charlotte, but faded quickly and was not much of a factor until a big wreck on an overtime restart left Hamlin with the lead. Hamlin battled Kyle Busch in the second overtime and edged his teammate by 0.014 seconds.

“That crash on the first overtime restart damaged the cars of a lot of contenders,” Hamlin said. “So, I have to thank Austin Dillon for ‘going for ‘broke.’”

10. William Byron: Byron was a victim of a Lap 191 crash triggered by Ryan Blaney, who lost control near the apron and veered into traffic. Byron’s day was done, and he finished 32nd.

“Six hundred miles is a long way,” Byron said. “It’s a physically draining race for the drivers, but even more mentally draining, especially for the fans who have to watch it.”

May 30, 2022
NASCAR Top-10 Power Rankings: Kansas

Note: The quotes in this article are fictional.

1. Kyle Busch: Busch won Stage 1 at Kansas and overcame a speeding penalty to post a third at Kansas, leading a Joe Gibbs Racing 3-4-5-6 finish.

“I can’t be too satisfied with a third,” Busch said. “Sure, third place is good, but I finished last among all Busch’s, and last among all Kyle’s.”

2. Ross Chastain: Chastain finished seventh at Kansas and is fifth in the points standings.

“Kurt Busch said he had to race like the ‘GOAT,” Chastain said, “in reference to his car owner Michael Jordan. In other words, at Kansas, Kurt drove like Michael Jordan the basketball player. In his previous four races, in which he had zero top 10s, he must have driven like Michael Jordan the baseball player.”

3. Chase Elliott: Elliott suffered a flat tire on Lap 196 that sent him spinning into the grass. After repairs, Elliott continued and limped home to a 29th-place finish.

“After blowing a tire and spinning into the grass,” Elliott said, “I said, ‘We’re not in this race anymore.’ Luckily, when I leave this state, I can happily say, ‘We’re not in Kansas anymore.’”

4. Alex Bowman: Bowman hit Bubba Wallace’s uncontrolled tire on pit lane midway through the race, but recovered to post a solid ninth at Kansas.

“In this sport,” Bowman said, “you have to be at your best when the rubber hits the road,” Bowman said. “But what really tests your mettle is how you react when the rubber hits back.”

5. Kyle Larson: Larson led 29 laps and led late at Kansas, but couldn’t repel the charge of Kurt Busch, who slipped past Larson for the lead with nine laps left. Larson held on for second.

“I thought I could hold Kurt off,” Larson said. “But to his credit, he pounced on the opening when I left it there. And since Kurt was driving that ‘Jordan Brand’ Toyota, you can confidently say ‘The man can jump … on an opportunity.’”

6. Ryan Blaney: Blaney finished 12th at Kansas.

“What a drive by Kurt Busch,” Blaney said. “It was just Kurt’s day. His car had the ‘Jordan Brand’ paint scheme, so he had the power of Michael Jordan with him. Sure, M.J. has a gambling problem, but I think that’s the reason why he got into racing, so he could say, ‘My money’s on Kurt Busch,’ and it was totally legit.”

7. Joey Logano: Logano finished 17th at Kansas.

“I’m sure William Byron was looking for an opportunity to get revenge on me for spinning him at Darlington,” Logano said. “What Willy B. doesn’t understand is that I’ve pretty famous for my long neck and that long neck is well-exercised in looking over my shoulder.”

8. William Byron: Byron finished 16th at Kansas.

“That was one spot in front of Joey Logano,” Byron said. “That’s exactly where I was at Darlington when he bumped me out of the lead. And I definitely haven’t forgotten about that. So seeing Logano in my rearview mirror is something I haven’t put in my rearview mirror.”

9. Martin Truex Jr.: Truex fought back from a lap down to record a solid sixth at Kansas as all four Joe Gibbs Racing drivers finished in the top 10.

“It’s pretty impressive for us to put all 4 in the top 10,” Truex said. “But all the credit should go to Denny Hamlin because he’s been the one not finishing in the top 10.”

10. Kurt Busch: Busch got past Kyle Larson with nine laps to go and held on to win the AdventHealth 400 at Kansas.

“That’s my first win with 23XI Racing,” Busch said. “Appropriately enough, my No. 45 Toyota sported the ‘Jordan Brand’ paint scheme. So I have to thank M.J. for having the confidence in me to allow me to drive a car backed by his iconic brand. It was the ultimate ‘vertical leap of faith.’”

May 16, 2022
NASCAR Top-10 Power Rankings: Dover

Note: The quotes in this article are fictional.

1. Chase Elliott: Elliott led the final 53 laps at Dover and captured the win in the DuraMAX Drydene 400, his first victory of the season.

“Now,” Elliott said, “all four Hendrick Motorsports drivers have a win. I’m just sad that I was last to the parity.”

2. Ross Chastain: Chastain led 86 laps and came home third at Dover.

“I tangled with Martin Truex Jr. on the final lap,” Chastain said. “Martin came out on the losing end of that when he spun out. Martin then gave me a piece of his mind, which was good, because I actually enjoy ‘picking the brain’ of my older, more experienced competitors.”

3. Kyle Busch: Busch, while leading, pitted under green on lap 322. Unfortunately, a caution flew seconds later, costing Busch the lead and track position. He recovered to finish seventh.

“There’s nothing I can do about that,” Busch said, “except continue to live by the good old Kyle Busch motto: ‘When the going gets tough, Kyle Busch starts complaining.’”

4. Ryan Blaney: Blaney finished 26th at Dover, only his second result outside the top 20 this season.

“Bill Elliott, Bobby Labonte, and Richard Petty will be in the Fox Sports booth next week at Darlington,” Blaney said. “That’s NASCAR royalty right there. Now, they won’t all be in the booth at the same time, mind you. That would make the booth ‘royally skewed.’”

5. Alex Bowman: Bowman finished fifth at Dover, posting his third top-five of the season.

“Denny Hamlin is really struggling this season,” Bowman said. “But we all know Denny as one of the most determined drivers in the game. He’ll do whatever it takes to make a comeback. I mean, he’ll drive the wheels off his car if he has to.”

6. Joey Logano: Logano finished 29th at Dover, four laps down.

“It was just an overall bad day for Penske Racing,” Logano said. “I was four laps down. Ryan Blaney was three laps down, and Austin Cindric was 309 laps down. So basically, lead-lap cars ran circles around us all day.”

7. William Byron: After wrecking in Saturday’s practice, Byron was forced to go to a backup car and struggled to a 22nd at Dover.

“It’s always hard to get a backup car up to speed,” Byron said. “In fact, we put the ‘back’ in ‘backup.’”

8. Kyle Larson: Larson blew two tires on Lap 156 and fell a lap down, but came back strong to post a sixth at Dover.

“And speaking of ‘unexpected releases of air,’” Larson said, “Dover’s Monster Beef And Cheddar Sandwich is really gastro-intestinally infamous.

“And speaking of ‘unexpected releases of liquid,’ the ‘DuraMAX Drudene 400’ sounds like a description of a bulk value package of super-absorbent adult diapers.”

9. Martin Truex Jr.: Truex finished 12th at Dover, falling down the order when his battle for third with Ross Chastain sent Truex spinning.

“I had words with Chastain after the race,” Truex said. “Actually, just two words. And there were seven letters total in those two words. It’s not what you think. Those two words were ‘re’ and ‘venge.’”

10. Kevin Harvick: Harvick finished ninth in the DuraMAX Drydene 400 at Dover.

“Hunt Brothers Pizza was my primary sponsor for the Dover race,” Harvick said. “I’ve had a long-standing relationship with them. ‘They’ve been with me for years,’ which is something you can also say about the actual Hunt Brothers Pizza once you’ve eaten it.”

May 3, 2022