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Tag: Brad Keselowski

  • NASCAR Top-10 Power Rankings: Daytona

    NASCAR Top-10 Power Rankings: Daytona

    Note: The quotes in this article are fictional.

    1. Martin Truex Jr.: Truex was one of 17 cars victimized on lap 119 when Austin Dillon and Clint Bowyer made contact, spinning Dillion into oncoming traffic. Truex finished 22nd.

    “All four Joe Gibbs Racing cars were damaged in that accident,” Truex said. “And Joe Gibbs was feeling really down about it. It’s a far cry from the elation Joe felt from winning three Super Bowls. Seeing four cars damaged in a single wreck? Well, that ‘Super blows.’”

    2. Kyle Busch: Busch finished 14th in a wild and rain-shortened Coke Zero Sugar 400.

    “This will certainly be the defining moment of Justin Haley’s career,” Busch said. “Will he ever be able to duplicate this feat? Ironically, he was the winner because lightning struck twice.”

    3. Joey Logano: Logano won Stage 1 and finished 25th at Daytona, his chances at the win ended when he was collected in a massive pileup on lap 119.

    “Like many,” Logano said, “I got caught in the big wreck caused by Austin Dillon and/or Clint Bowyer. Who’s to blame? In tennis, they would call it a ‘double fault.’ In football, it would be called ‘pass interference.’ In NASCAR, it’s called ‘racing.’”

    4. Brad Keselowski: Keselowski wrecked on lap 83 after a big push from Kevin Harvick turned the No. 2 Penske Racing Ford. Keselowski finished 39th.

    “Now that’s what I call getting ‘rear-ended,’” Keselowski said. “Of course, when your car is rendered useless, you need to catch a ride. So, I did, in fact, ‘Lyft.’”

    5. Chase Elliott: Elliott finished 35th at Daytona.

    “At the speeds seen at Daytona,” Elliott said, “the turbulence is extreme. It even caused the decals of some guys to peel off. It’s just another way that NASCAR is ‘losing sponsorship.’”

    6. Kurt Busch: Busch finished 10th at Daytona, but could have been the winner if NASCAR officials had called off a restart just a few moments earlier. Instead, Busch surrendered the lead to pit, thinking a restart was imminent.

    “The win was mine,” Busch said, “until NASCAR decided to shaft me. I feel like I just got punched in the stomach, which is a weird feeling because I’m used to getting punched in the face.”

    7. Kevin Harvick: Harvick finished 29th at Daytona, suffering extensive damage in a lap 83 crash, and then cutting a tire later.

    “My car was all over the place,” Harvick said. “Now, I can spin that in an interview in which I mention sponsors and say, ‘The No.4 Jimmy John’s Ford Mustang was ‘going places.’

    ‘I sure gave Brad Keselowski a big bump. Sadly, it knocked him out of the race. I guess I gave him a personal ‘drive-through penalty.’”

    8. Denny Hamlin: Hamlin finished 26th in the Coke Zero Sugar 400.

    “This may have been the last time we raced at Daytona in July,” Hamlin said. “The 2020 schedule shows an August date at Daytona, making it the regular-season finale. So, I guess there will no longer be fireworks, but with most of the field scrambling for a last chance playoff spot, there at least will be plenty of ‘sparks.’”

    9. Alex Bowman: Bowman finished 21st at Daytona.

    “That’s two consecutive first-time race winners,” Bowman. “First me at Chicagoland, then Justin Haley at Daytona. I thought I was young; have you seen Haley? He’s just a kid. But let’s face it, Kurt Busch should have been the winner at Daytona. And Kurt’s his typical whiny self about it. No matter whose side you’re on, the Daytona winner is acting ‘childish.’”

    10. Aric Almirola: Almirola finished seventh at Daytona.

    “Justin Haley captured what has to be the most unlikely win in Daytona history,” Almirola said. “Sure he was lucky, but he was awfully grateful afterward, thanking his Almighty Father and his Mother Nature.”

  • NASCAR Top-10 Power Rankings: Chicagoland

    NASCAR Top-10 Power Rankings: Chicagoland

    Note: The quotes in this article are fictional.

    1. Martin Truex Jr.: Truex finished ninth in the CampingWorld 400.

    “We just couldn’t get the handling right,” Truex said. “And it’s not like we didn’t attempt several changes and combinations. We went with the ‘Tim Richmond formula because we ‘tried everything.’”

    2. Joey Logano: Logano finished third at Chicagoland and leads the Monster Energy Cup points standings.

    “Thunderstorms caused a lengthy delay after just 11 laps were completed,” Logano said. “Should NASCAR have simply just delayed the start of the race? Logic would suggest they should have, but since when has NASCAR taken any suggestions, much less from logic?”

    3. Kyle Busch: Busch struggled with handling at Chicagoland and came home 22nd, one lap down, in the CampingWorld 400.

    “The handling was one thing,” Busch said, “but I also had to deal with a smoke-filled cockpit due to burning rubber. Luckily, I didn’t inhale. There are, however, lots of people who would love to see me ‘in hell.’”

    4. Brad Keselowski: Keselowski finished fifth at Chicagoland.

    “How about the ‘Kroger Helmet Cam?’” Keselowski said. “It’s a great feature. It gives fans a bird’s-eye view of what a driver sees. It’s too bad Ryan Newman wasn’t wearing it at the All-Star Race back in May. That way, fans could have seen what a totally harmless Clint Bowyer punch looks like.”

    5. Chase Elliott: Elliott finished 11th at Chicagoland.

    “We had a disastrous pit stop after Stage 2,” Elliott said. “The tire changer’s hose got stuck under the car. It’s one thing to ‘pimp’ your hose, it’s another thing entirely to ‘crimp’ your hose. Of course, we never want that to happen again. So we’ve made sure all crew members understand they have to keep their hoses in check.”

    6. Kevin Harvick: Harvick won Stage 2 and led the most laps at Chicagoland, but still came up short of winning with a 14th-place result.

    “I slapped the wall on Lap 172,” Harvick said. “I got loose, and there went any chance I had of breaking my season-long winless streak. It’s at 18 races. But don’t be surprised if the wall comes into play again, because, at this point, I’m so frustrated, I’d drive through a concrete wall for a win.” 

    7. Denny Hamlin: Hamlin won Stage 1 and finished 15th at Chicagoland.

    “This may have been NASCAR’s most exciting race so far this year,” Hamlin said. “I’m not sure what the exact numbers were, but I’m guessing Sunday’s rating, in true Chicago fashion, absolutely murdered those of previous races.”

    8. Alex Bowman: Bowman held off Kyle Larson to win at Chicagoland, picking up his first Monster Energy Cup series win.

    “I got my car stuck in the grass after my celebratory burn out,” Bowman said. “I forget it had rained cats and dogs earlier. Needless to say, I’ve been ‘swamped’ with ridicule.”

    9. Ryan Blaney: Blaney finished sixth at Chicagoland, posting his third consecutive top-10 finish.

    “The race started about three hours later due to storms,” Blaney said. “It was a long and boring wait for the fans. But don’t knock weather delays. Often, they can be more exciting than the race. But not this race. This race was very exciting. It had everything: exciting restarts, four-wide racing, and passes for the lead. But its most positive attribute was what it lacked—Darrell Waltrip.”

    10. Kurt Busch: Busch finished 13th in the CampingWorld 400.

    “Word is the 2021 NASCAR schedule will be shorter than 2019,” Busch said. “So, it’s apparently true what stock car old-schoolers have been saying for a long time: ‘NASCAR is less ‘event-ful’ than it used to be.”

  • NASCAR Top-10 Power Rankings: Pocono

    NASCAR Top-10 Power Rankings: Pocono

    Note: The quotes in this article are fictional.

    1. Kyle Busch: Busch started second at Pocono and led 79 laps on his way to the win in the Pocono 400. It was Busch’s fourth win of the season.

    “That was my 55th Cup win,” Busch said. “That ties me with Rusty Wallace for ninth on the all-time list. Rusty is a NASCAR legend. Anytime I’m on any list alongside Rusty Wallace, I’m thrilled unless that list is Ryan Newman’s ‘S’ list.”

    2. Joey Logano: Logano finished seventh at Pocono as Penske Racing placed two cars in the top 10.

    “Penske Racing is still riding high from Josef Newgarden’s win in the Indianapolis 500 on May 26th,” Logano said. “Unfortunately, as the last two races suggest, Joe Gibbs Racing has been drinking our milk.”

    3. Brad Keselowski: Keselowski took second at Pocono, posting his sixth top five of the season.

    “There was no catching Kyle Busch,” Keselowski said. “I was on his bumper one second; the next second, he was gone. Usually, when I say ‘Kyle Busch is out of my life,’ it brings me immense joy. Not so in this case.”

    4. Martin Truex Jr.: Truex’s engine expired on Lap 91, ending his day at Pocono. He finished 35th and is seventh in the Monster Energy Cup points standings.

    “What’s something that blew up at Pocono?” Truex said. “My engine. What’s something that didn’t blow up at Pocono? Television ratings for the race.”

    5. Chase Elliott: Elliott finished fourth at Pocono, posting his fifth consecutive top-five finish, the longest streak of his career.

    “Hendrick Motorsports still only has one win all season,” Elliott said. “Sure, it doesn’t stack up to Joe Gibbs Racing’s nine wins, or Penske Racing’s four, but Rick Hendrick told us not to be discouraged, and to look for motivation in the ‘small victories.’”

    6. Denny Hamlin: Hamlin finished sixth at Pocono as Joe Gibbs Racing teammates Kyle Busch and Erik Jones finished first and third, respectively.

    “I ended a streak of four consecutive finishes of 15th or worse,” Hamlin said. “I’m happy because the last thing I want to be is the low man on the totem pole at JGR. To avoid that, I simply have to keep up with the ‘Jones’s.’”

    7. Kurt Busch: Busch finished 11th at Pocono.

    “My little brother Kyle won the race,” Busch said, “in a car sponsored by ‘Hazelnut Spread M&M’s.’ That’s amazing. I think there are now more types of M&M’s than there were passes for the lead on Sunday.”

    8. Kevin Harvick: Harvick was in contention late at Pocono before a penalty for an uncontrolled tire ruined his day. Things got even worse when mechanical problems arose soon after the penalty.

    “I was driving the Busch beer ‘Millennial’ car,” Harvick said. “Any rational observer would have thought Kyle Busch was driving the ‘Millennial’ car, what with the ‘Hazelnut Spread M&M’s’ logo splashed across it.”

    9. Clint Bowyer: Bowyer came home fifth in the Pocono 400, scoring his fifth top five of the season.

    “I’m pleased with our result,” Bowyer said. “The only person I wanted to punch after this race was the NASCAR official who implemented this rules package.”

    10. Alex Bowman: Bowman finished 15th at Pocono and is now 11th in the Monster Energy Cup points standings.

    “My Hendrick teammate William Byron won his second consecutive pole,” Bowman said. “That gives Hendrick a series-best six poles. So, our history of qualifying is sterling, but our history of winning is checkered.”

  • Kyle Busch is victorious on the Tricky Triangle in the Pocono 400

    Kyle Busch is victorious on the Tricky Triangle in the Pocono 400

    Despite the field seeking out more speed and track position with various pit strategies, Kyle Busch led 79 laps to win his 55th career Monster Energy NASCAR Cup Series race at Pocono Raceway in the Pocono 500, tying Rusty Wallace on the all-time win list.

    “I just can’t say enough about everybody at Joe Gibbs Racing,” Busch said in Victory Lane. “Everybody that works there works so hard to build these awesome Camrys. We’ve had an amazing roll this year here so far. We’ve been doing well.

    “We feel like we’ve kind of given away a couple of wins that we thought we had a shot for, but overall, it’s been awesome to get back to Victory Lane here. Pocono’s been a struggle, but it’s a lot better now.”

    Busch’s fourth win of the season came after beating Brad Keselowski by 2.224 seconds. He led a few laps during pit cycles, but was able to fight his way up after the final restart to get close to Busch. His No. 2 Penske Ford wasn’t quite as strong.

    “We didn’t have speed enough to pass guys, but we could run with them,” Keselowski said. “We wanted a little bit more to be able to pass everybody, but you had to be so much faster that you just try to execute the best you can and hope things fall the right way. “They fell decent, just not good enough to win today.”

    Erik Jones finished in the third position, followed by Talladega winner Chase Elliott. Clint Bowyer completed the top five.

    “I feel like if Kyle [Busch] and I had been on four tires, we would’ve been pretty even,” Jones said with a positive outlook with his third place effort after a dead last finish in last weekend’s Coca-Cola 600. “Good day overall, it would have had to really be a perfect scenario for us to win today, but we had a good car. The Dewalt Camry was fast, and it was fast all weekend.”

    “We’ve been good, but not great,” Elliott shared with FOX Sports after the race when evaluating their current overall situation.

    Denny Hamlin, Joey Logano, Daniel Suarez, pole winner William Byron and Aric Almirola rounded out the top 10.

    Three front runners had struggles in the race. First, Kevin Harvick was in contention for the win, but a late race pit-road penalty changed their outcome. On Lap 124, they were caught with an uncontrolled tire and were forced to serve a pass-through penalty. Harvick dropped off the lead lap and finished his day at Pocono in the 22nd spot.

    Last week’s winner Martin Truex Jr. was victorious in three of the last five points-paying races. However, his attempt for his fourth win of the season fell short after 91 laps into the race when his Joe Gibbs Racing No. 19 Toyota went behind the wall with an engine issue. His team finished 35th for the day.

    The third driver who was a strong contender early in the race was Kyle Larson. The Chip Ganassi Racing No. 42 Chevrolet driver led 35 laps and won the race’s first two stages. On a late race restart, Larson slapped the outside wall after contact with Clint Bowyer. He was forced to pit with damage to the right rear and at risk of blowing a tire. He finished one lap down in the 26th position.

    The weekend was a rough start for Erik Jones and Chris Buescher as they failed pre-qualifying inspection on Saturday. Since cars were impounded after Busch Pole Qualifying, the inspection also served as pre-race inspection. This resulted in the car chief for both teams being ejected for the race weekend, Jason Overstreet (No. 20) and Doug Powers (No. 37). Both drivers have been coming from strong recent finishes, with Jones finishing in the top-six in two of the last three races and Buescher with two consecutive top-10 results.

    The Monster Energy NASCAR Cup Series races next weekend at Michigan International Speedway on Sunday, June 9.

    Monster Energy Cup Series Race Number 14
    Race Results for the 38th Annual Pocono 400 – Sunday, June 2, 2019
    Pocono Raceway – Long Pond, PA – 2.5 – Mile Paved
    Total Race Length – 160 Laps – 400. Miles

    Fin Str No Driver Team Laps S1Pos S2Pos Pts Status
    1 2 18 Kyle Busch M&M’s Hazelnut Toyota 160 0 0 40 Running
    2 5 2 Brad Keselowski Wabash National Ford 160 3 4 50 Running
    3 4 20 Erik Jones DeWalt Toyota 160 0 0 34 Running
    4 12 9 Chase Elliott NAPA Auto Parts Chevrolet 160 0 0 33 Running
    5 3 14 Clint Bowyer Haas Automation Ford 160 0 0 32 Running
    6 6 11 Denny Hamlin FedEx Office Toyota 160 0 0 31 Running
    7 16 22 Joey Logano Shell Pennzoil Ford 160 8 2 42 Running
    8 9 41 Daniel Suarez Haas Automation Demo Days Ford 160 7 10 34 Running
    9 1 24 William Byron Hendrick Autoguard Chevrolet 160 2 3 45 Running
    10 13 10 Aric Almirola Valley Technical Academy Ford 160 5 0 33 Running
    11 21 1 Kurt Busch Monster Energy Chevrolet 160 0 6 31 Running
    12 17 12 Ryan Blaney Menards/Libman Ford 160 6 0 30 Running
    13 23 8 Daniel Hemric # Kalahari Resorts and Conventions Chevrolet 160 0 9 26 Running
    14 24 37 Chris Buescher Kroger Thrill of the Grill Chevrolet 160 0 8 26 Running
    15 15 88 Alex Bowman Axalta Chevrolet 160 0 0 22 Running
    16 19 6 Ryan Newman Wyndham Rewards Ford 160 0 5 27 Running
    17 22 95 Matt DiBenedetto Toyota Express Maintenance Toyota 160 0 0 20 Running
    18 14 21 Paul Menard Motorcraft/Quick Lane Tire & Auto Center Ford 160 10 0 20 Running
    19 8 48 Jimmie Johnson Ally Chevrolet 160 0 0 18 Running
    20 28 34 Michael McDowell Dockside Logistics Ford 160 0 0 17 Running
    21 26 43 Bubba Wallace Victory Junction Chevrolet 160 0 7 20 Running
    22 11 4 Kevin Harvick Busch Light Father’s Day Ford 159 4 0 22 Running
    23 29 47 Ryan Preece # Kroger Chevrolet 159 0 0 14 Running
    24 32 15 Ross Chastain(i) Low T Center Chevrolet 159 0 0 0 Running
    25 34 51 Bayley Currey(i) Jacob Companies P-40 Warhawk Ford 159 0 0 0 Running
    26 7 42 Kyle Larson Credit One Bank Chevrolet 159 1 1 31 Running
    27 25 13 Ty Dillon GEICO Chevrolet 158 0 0 10 Running
    28 35 27 * Reed Sorenson VIPRacingExperience.com Chevrolet 157 0 0 9 Running
    29 36 77 Quin Houff Spire Motorsports Chevrolet 157 0 0 8 Running
    30 27 38 David Ragan ExploriaResorts.com Ford 156 0 0 7 Running
    31 31 0 Landon Cassill(i) Madison Group Chevrolet 154 0 0 0 Running
    32 18 17 Ricky Stenhouse Jr. Fastenal Ford 146 0 0 5 Accident
    33 30 36 Matt Tifft # Surface Sunscreen Ford 128 0 0 4 Running
    34 37 52 JJ Yeley Steakhouse Elite Chevrolet 110 0 0 3 Running
    35 20 19 Martin Truex Jr. Bass Pro Shops Toyota 91 9 0 4 Engine
    36 33 32 Corey LaJoie VisoneRV Ford 68 0 0 1 Accident
    37 10 3 Austin Dillon Dow Chevrolet 28 0 0 1 Accident
  • NASCAR Top-10 Power Rankings: Charlotte

    NASCAR Top-10 Power Rankings: Charlotte

    Note: The quotes in this article are fictional.

    1. Martin Truex Jr.: Despite contact with the wall in Stage 1, Truex recovered and sealed the win at Charlotte with a daring four-wide pass for the lead on the final restart.

    “What better advocate for going ‘four-wide’ than Joe Gibbs,” Truex said. “Joe made the ‘four wide receiver’ set commonplace in the NFL of the 1990s.

    “I’m just glad my move didn’t cause an accident. The last thing we need is another upset driver punching another. Of course, my teammate is Kyle Busch, so I can definitely understand the desire to punch someone. His brother Kurt may have an even more punchable face. In fact, Kurt’s face has been‘rearranged’ before, when a plastic surgeon downsized his ears.”

    2. Kyle Busch: Busch finished third in Charlotte and leads the Monster Energy Cup points standings by six over Joey Logano.

    “This race lasted a grueling five hours,” Busch said. “It’s grueling for drivers, but even more grueling for a crew chief who has to listen to his driver complain for nearly all of those five hours.”

    3. Joey Logano: Logano took the runner-up spot in the Coca-Cola 600.

    “I got close to Martin Truex Jr. at the end,” Logano said, “but not close enough to give him the old ‘bump and run,’ the ‘run’ of which means I run and hide afterward. But he did a great job defending his position. He had the best car, and I wasn’t going to pass him. And, as they say, ‘there was no way around it.’”

    4. Brad Keselowski: Keselowski won Stages 1 and 2 at Charlotte, but blew a tire and slammed the wall with 10 laps to go. He finished 19th, two laps back.

    “The No. 2 Miller Lite was dominant in the first two stages,” Keselowski said, “but certainly not in the last stage. But ‘the No. 2’ out of 3 ain’t bad.”

    5. Chase Elliott: Elliott finished fourth at Charlotte, recording his fifth top five of the season.

    “The Sunday before Memorial Day is the greatest day in motorsports,” Elliott said. “Fans on the East Coast can enjoy breakfast at Monaco, lunch at Indianapolis, and an appetizer, nice dinner, desert, and a bedtime snack at Charlotte.”

    6. Kevin Harvick: Harvick finished 10th at Charlotte, and is third in the Monster Energy Cup points standings, 50 out of first.

    “Congratulations to Tony Stewart on his Hall Of Fame induction,” Harvick said. “Boy, I can’t wait to hear Tony’s induction speech. It will probably be four letters long.”

    7. Denny Hamlin: Hamlin finished 17th at Charlotte.

    “I hit the wall in Stage 2,” Hamlin said, “then hit it harder on the race’s final lap. Luckily, cars and drivers are equipped with so many safety devices, you really can’t feel the impact. Someone should remind Clint Bowyer of that.”

    8. Clint Bowyer: Bowyer finished 24th in the Coca Cola 600.

    “You probably saw me punching Ryan Newman after the All-Star race,” Bowyer said. “I didn’t even let Ryan get out of his car! Needless to say, Ryan said he ‘won’t take this sitting down.’”

    9. Alex Bowman: Bowman started 13th and finished seventh at Charlotte, and is 10th in the points standings.

    “My Hendrick Motorsports teammate William Byron started on the pole,” Bowman said, “becoming the youngest ever on the pole at for the 600. He was ecstatic. He was on ‘Cloud 9.’ Several decades ago, you could have said he was ‘sitting on the top of the World 600.’”

    10. Kurt Busch: Busch struggled at Charlotte, finishing 27th, four laps down.

    “Charlotte Flair drove the pace car for the race,” Busch said. “As you probably know, Charlotte Flair is the daughter of wrestling legend Ric Flair. Incidentally, ‘Charlotte Flair’ is also the name of the downtown Charlotte club where you’re most likely to find Michael Waltrip.”

  • NASCAR Top-10 Power Rankings: Kansas

    NASCAR Top-10 Power Rankings: Kansas

    Note: The quotes in this article are fictional.

    1. Kyle Busch: Busch was in contention for the in on Saturday night at Kansas before a flat right-rear tire ruined his night. He finished 30th, three laps down.

    “That ends my streak of top-10 finishes,” Busch said. “But 11 top 10’s and three wins in the first 12 races is quite a feat. So, when people ask me how I’m doing, I could say, ‘I can’t complain.’ But that would be a lie.”

    2. Brad Keselowski: Keselowski surged late and held on in overtime to win the Digital Ally 400 at Kansas. It was his third win of the season, and Team Penske’s fourth triumph of the year.

    “I got an awesome start on the final restart,” Keselowski said. “Some say I went too early. But let’s face it, NASCAR is a sport in which, almost exclusively, white men can jump.”

    3. Joey Logano: Logano came home 15th at Kansas as Penske Racing teammate Brad Keselowski took the win.

    “After my car failed post-qualifying inspection two times,” Logano said, “my crew chief Todd Gordon was sent packing, which was a real downer for the team. So, here is the order of events at Kansas for us: ‘rejected, ejected, dejected.’”

    4. Chase Elliott: Elliott finished fourth in the Digital Ally 400, posting his third consecutive top-five finish. He is fourth in the Monster Energy Cup points standings, 55 out of first.

    “I feel good about the season,” Elliott said. “I feel like I’m fast enough, mature enough, and talented enough to win the championship. Nothing would satisfy me more than taking the Monster Energy Cup championship trophy and holding it over my head, which is what my dad Bill has been doing with his one Cup trophy since I started racing.”

    5. Martin Truex Jr.: Truex finished 19th at Kansas.

    “Well,” said Truex, “you can’t win them all. And, if you drive for Stewart-Haas Racing, you can’t win any of them.”

    6. Kevin Harvick: Harvick was the car to beat early at Kansas, but a flat tire with 90 laps to go forced him out of pit sequence. He finished 13th and is now third in the points standings, 38 out of first.

    “I’m extremely frustrated with our bad luck,” Harvick said. “I’m at a loss for words, and also at a loss for races. Stewart-Haas Racing is still winless on the year. But, as an organization, we have to stay positive. Our attitude must be ‘un-defeated.’”

    7. Kurt Busch: Busch finished seventh at Kansas, posting his eighth top 10 of the year.

    “I think the NASCAR rules package actually made for better racing,” Busch said. “I actually heard cheers from the fans in the stands. So, amazingly, it had the opposite effect on my brother Kyle, because it silenced him.”

    8. Denny Hamlin: Hamlin finished 16th, one lap down, at Kansas as Joe Gibbs Racing managed to place only one car in the top 10.

    “It was a very disappointing day,” Hamlin said. “But after the last race at Dover, even a result as mediocre as 16th, is a ‘breath of fresh air.’ And I needed that after suffering from carbon monoxide poisoning at Dover. Carbon monoxide is colorless, like the NASCAR fan base, and odorless, unlike the NASCAR fan base, and tasteless, like Tony Stewart.”

    9. Clint Bowyer: Bowyer finished fifth at Kansas after scrapping with Erik Jones in the closing laps.

    “Jones blatantly blocked me,” Bowyer said. “At a race in my home state, no less. And this native is restless.”

    10. Alex Bowman: Bowman took second at Kansas for his third straight runner-up finish.

    “I’m making progress,” Bowman said, “and so is Hendrick Motorsports. Even Jimmie Johnson scored a top-10 finish. That was his fifth top 10 of the year. So, in the 12 races thus far this year, Jimmie has been out of the top 10 seven times. And that’s why we now call Jimmie ‘Seven-time.’”

  • Brad Keselowski wins in a thriller at Kansas

    Brad Keselowski wins in a thriller at Kansas

    KANSAS CITY, Kan. — Brad Keselowski won in an overtime finish at Kansas Speedway for his third victory of the season and his first since 2011 at the 1.5-mile speedway in Kansas City, Kansas.

    “Yeah, this was a great day, and that’s what I’ve been known for my whole career is just never give up,” Keselowski said in his victory lane interview. We were behind big time with just 40 or 50 to go. The yellow came out, we were on pit road, we were trapped a lapped down. We dug out of that hole, and then the restarts, a couple of opportunities, the holes were there, I took it, and it stuck. And the next thing I knew I was running second or third behind Alex Bowman. I was able to make just the right move at the right time to clear him. Alex was super, super strong, and he got a little tight off of Turn 2 and I had the run wall and glued to it and built this big run.”

    The Digital Ally 400 was broken into 80/80/107 laps to make up the three stages.

    Eleven drivers had failed post-qualifying inspection before the race started and had to line up at the back of the field which meant that several drivers moved up starting positions.

    Stage 1 saw barely any incidents. There were was a competition caution on Lap 30 due to overnight rain. The first incident of the night took place on Lap 60 when Denny Hamlin spun off Turn 4 and had the crush panels pushed in. William Byron was penalized for removing equipment, a jack post, on pit road.

    Before the stage ended, there was a range of leaders from Chase Elliott to Kevin Harvick. Harvick completely dominated the first stage and wound up winning Stage 1 after leading three times for 57 laps, nearly half the stage.

    Stage 2 saw the same thing, but this time there was a little more strategy involved throughout the stage with drivers up front who were normally not up front. This included Chris Buescher and Ricky Stenhouse Jr. who were trying a different strategy, however, they eventually had to end up pitting.

    There were no cautions throughout Stage 2 as it went clean the whole way with Elliott winning the second stage. Harvick wound up second with Jones third, Bowman fourth, Stenhouse fifth, Buescher sixth, Kurt Busch seventh, Clint Bowyer eighth, Kyle Busch ninth and Kyle Larson rounding out the top 10 for Stage 2 which ended on lap 160.

    The third and final stage began on lap 168, and the stage saw several more cautions.

    On Lap 219, Ryan Newman’s tire went out into the grass and caught on fire. On Lap 221 during the pit stops, Kyle Busch was penalized for driving through too many pit boxes. After adding some additional laps to get the restart order correct, the green flag came out on Lap 228 with unique names like Bowman, Buescher, Stenhouse and Tyler Reddick up front. Another caution flew with 30 to go for debris in Turn 2.

    There was intense side-by-side racing for the lead for 19 laps until the final caution came out with just seven laps to go for the No. 95 of Matt DiBenedetto who was leaking fluid in Turn 2.

    This would eventually set up an overtime restart with just two laps to go. There were side-by-side battles with Stenhouse, Bowman and eventually Keselowski, who took the lead on Lap 261 and held on for the last 11 laps to win his third race of the season, his first since Martinsville.

    Coming into the race, Keselowski had an idea what to expect during the race.

    “It’s hard to say where it will go,” Keselowski said in regards to the rules package. “I feel like the season breaks down into thirds. Maybe I am repeating myself to some of the people in the room. You know, you have the first third, your second third, and the final part with the Playoffs, and with that in mind, Kansas to me is like the break to me in the first third of the season and the beginning of the middle stretch. I think we see things start to settle out by then at the end of the West Coast swing start of the season. There’s a lot that comes and goes, and you try to understand the rules; all the engineering behind it is a little bit tough.

    “When we get to this part of the season, you really have to shine because this is what you got. So it’s nice to be able to win right here today, it’s always nice to win, but in light of those thoughts or beliefs I guess, it’s a good sign for us for sure.”

    Keselowski led twice for 12 laps and earned five Playoff points.

    Bowman, Erik Jones, Elliott, Bowyer, Jimmie Johnson, Kurt Busch, Larson, Reddick and Buescher rounded out the top-10 finishers.

    There were seven cautions for 41 laps and 23 leaders among 12 lead changes.

    Up Next: The Monster Energy NASCAR Cup Series heads home next weekend to Charlotte Motor Speedway for the annual running of the All-Star Race.

  • NASCAR Top-10 Power Rankings: Dover

    NASCAR Top-10 Power Rankings: Dover

    Note: The quotes in this article are fictional.

    1. Kyle Busch: Busch finished 10th at Dover, keeping his top-10 streak, alive, but was nonetheless frustrated with the result.

    “I was none too happy with the rules package for this race,” Busch said. “And I went on a profanity-laced rant about it. But give me a week and a win at Kansas and I’ll have nothing but positive things to say. It just goes to show that for Kyle Busch, there’s a fine line between ‘complaint’ and ‘compliant.’”

    2. Martin Truex Jr.: Truex led 132 laps and won the Gander RV 400 at Dover, his third career Dover win.

    “Dover is one of my favorite tracks,” Truex said, “and Miles is one of my favorite monsters. The Dover trophy is one of the greatest in motorsports. I’m of the belief that any trophy that looks like Bruton Smith is okay in my book.”

    3. Joey Logano: Logano finished seventh at Dover and is now second in the Monster Energy Cup points standings.

    “I visited the White House last week in celebration of my 2018 Cup title,” Logano said. “It’s the one time President Trump should have served ‘fast’ food, but didn’t.”

    4. Chase Elliott: Elliott started on the pole at Dover and finished fifth, scoring his third top five of the season.

    “NASCAR announced the end of group qualifying at all oval tracks,” Elliott said. “This will take drafting out of qualifying, just in time for summer. In an age in which climate change is a looming issue, NASCAR is doing its part with its ‘Clean Air Initiative.’”

    5. Brad Keselowski: Keselowski led 58 laps and came home 12th at Dover, one lap off the lead.

    “That means I got lapped,” Keselowski said, “which is not at all exciting. Throw an ‘S’ into the mix, and ‘lapped’ becomes ‘slapped,’ and things get way more exciting.”

    6. Denny Hamlin: Hamlin struggled at Dover, finishing 21st, three laps down.

    “I was not feeling well,” Hamlin said. “I had to be treated by medical staff immediately after the race. I’d suffered a couple days of tummy trouble. Not to be too graphic, but as the driver of the car sponsored by FedEx, my condition sounded a lot like ‘two-day shipping.’”

    7. Kevin Harvick: Harvick finished strong at Dover, racing to a fourth-place finish as the top finisher among Stewart-Haas Racing drivers.

    “SHR is still looking for that first victory,” Harvick said. “It’s frustrating, but we have to be laser-focused to get that first win. The fellows at Penske and Joe Gibbs have cautioned us not to be too focused, because apparently, we’ve been ‘zeroed in’ for 11 races this season.”

    8. Kurt Busch: Busch finished 13th at Dover and is eighth in the points standings, 113 out of first.

    “Dale Earnhardt Jr. was at the Kentucky Derby as a correspondent for NBC,” Busch said. “He roamed the infield and talked to fans, one of which was a man who identified himself as ‘Horse Power,’ and claimed to be the long lost cousin of Indy Car driver Will Power.”

    9. Clint Bowyer: Bowyer finished ninth in the Gander RV 400, posting his sixth top-10 of the year.

    “Someday,” Clint Bowyer said, “I’d like to visit the White House as NASCAR champion, like Joey Logano. I heard Joey toured the Lincoln Bedroom. I hear bedrooms in the White House feature less action than NASCAR races.”

    10. Daniel Suarez: Suarez finished 11th at Dover.

    “Danica Patrick is not expecting a baby,” Suarez said. “She had to clear that up on Instagram after a confusing post. That’s not to say Danica’s never been ‘with child.’ She dated that immature goof Ricky Stenhouse, Jr. for five years.”

  • NASCAR Top-10 Power Rankings: Talladega

    NASCAR Top-10 Power Rankings: Talladega

    Note: The quotes in this article are fictional.

    1. Kyle Busch: Busch finished 10th at Talladega to keep his streak of top-10 finishes alive. His streak now stands at 10.

    “Mine wasn’t the only ‘streaking’ going on a Talladega,” Busch said. “There was the ‘Miss Nude Talladega Infield” contest staged on Saturday night. That’s right, I said ‘Saturday night.’ Sure, it was dark, so the contestants were judged by headlights.”

    2. Joey Logano: Logano led 37 laps and finished fourth in the Geico 500.

    “I thought I had the race won,” Logano said. “But then Chase Elliott and two other Chevrolets got by me. In the end, Chevy finished 1-2-3 and finally looked like a contender. So, not only did Chevy win and place, but they finally showedup.”

    3. Denny Hamlin: Hamlin was involved in a Lap 11 wreck in the Geico 500 and the ensuing damage eventually ruined his day, forcing him to the garage on lap 80.

    “I blame Bubba Wallace for the wreck,” Hamlin said. “He basically ruined any chance I had. Much of the talk at Talladega was of ‘spoiler height.’ Well, my ‘spoiler height’ was 5′ 10,” because that’s how tall Bubba is.”

    4. Chase Elliott: Elliott grabbed the lead after a restart with four laps to go and held on to win the Geico 500, which ended under caution. Elliott led a 1-2-3 finish for Chevy as Hendrick teammate Alex Bowman took second, followed by Ryan Preece in third.

    “I also led Hendrick to a 1-2-3 finish in Stage 2,” Elliott said. “Up until Talladega, Hendrick Motorsports looked downright incompetent. I doubt competitors thought we could count 1-2-3, much less finish 1-2-3.”

    5. Martin Truex Jr.: Truex suffered damage in an accident with seven laps to go and finished a disappointing 20th at Talladega.

    “One minute,” Truex said, “I’m looking at a sure top-10 finish. The next minute, I’m spinning. Fortunes change in a split second, much like NASCAR’s explanations for when and when not to throw a caution flag.”

    6. Brad Keselowski: Keselowski came home 13th at Talladega, while Penske Racing teammate Joey Logano finished fourth.

    “I’m very surprised NASCAR officials didn’t throw a caution when Ricky Stenhouse Jr. spun and slammed the wall on the final lap,” Keselowski said. “Stenhouse hasn’t felt less important since Danica Patrick dumped him.”

    7. Kevin Harvick: Harvick was knocked out early at Talladega, exiting on Lap 11 from damage sustained when contact between Ryan Blaney and Bubba Wallace triggered a wreck. Harvick finished 38th.

    “It was a tough start to the race for Stewart-Haas Racing,” Harvick said. “Right off the bat, Ryan Blaney got bumped, and the next thing you know, SHR teammate, Clint Bowyer, slammed into me. It was downhill from there. I looked at my No. 4 Ford with the flannel paint scheme and said to myself, ‘I see a pattern here.’”

    8. Kurt Busch: Busch posted a strong sixth-place finish at Talladega.

    “It’s always unpredictable at Talladega,” Busch said. “And I’m talking about what goes on in the infield. Jeremy Mayfield once opined that there’s more ‘speed’ in the infield than on the track.”

    9. Aric Almirola: Almirola battled back from an early pit road speeding penalty to post a solid ninth in the Geico 500 at Talladega.

    “Congratulations to Chase Elliott,” Almirola said, “and to people who dine at Hooters. Since Chase won, you can get 15 wings and a pitcher of beer or Mountain Dew for just $15. It’s an actual instance of ‘Winner, winner, chicken dinner.’ And, it would feed a NASCAR family of one.”

    10. Ryan Blaney: Blaney survived early trouble at Talladega and finished 15th in the Geico 500.

    “Stewart-Haas Racing is still winless for the season,” Blaney said. “Word around the campfire is that Joe Gibbs Racing and Penske Racing are calling our 200,000 square foot in Kannapolis, NC the ‘Inferiority Complex.’”

  • NASCAR Top-10 Power Rankings: Richmond

    NASCAR Top-10 Power Rankings: Richmond

    Note: The quotes in this article are fictional.

    1. Kyle Busch: Busch led 101 laps at Richmond and posted an eighth-place finish, his ninth top 10 of the season.

    “It’s good to see Martin Truex Jr. get the win,” Busch said. “That’s three of four Joe Gibbs Racing drivers with at least one win this season. Now, if Erik Jones could get a win, it would further extend JGR dominance. All our rival teams know they need to keep up with the Joneses, but let’s face it, the Jones needs to keep up with the Busch’s, Hamlin’s, and Truex’s.”

    2. Denny Hamlin: Hamlin failed pre-race inspection twice and was relegated to the rear of the field at the start. Despite that, he finished fifth, his sixth top five of the season.

    “I was one of eight drivers whose cars failed inspection,” Hamlin said. “For NASCAR viewers who decry the lack of passing, it doesn’t get any better in qualifying either.”

    3. Joey Logano: Logano stalked Martin Truex Jr. over the closing laps at Richmond, but didn’t have enough for the pass and settled for second.

    “It didn’t help that my Penske teammate Brad Keselowski held me up earlier,” Logano said. “It was a case of ‘(Get out of) my way or the highway.’”

    4. Martin Truex Jr.: Truex held off Clint Bowyer and Joey Logano down the stretch to win at Richmond, capturing his first short track win.

    “That’s six wins for Joe Gibbs Racing already this year,” Truex said. “And six for Toyotas. The race was called the ‘Toyota Owners 400,’ and Joe Gibbs can verify that it’s good to own Toyotas.”

    5. Kevin Harvick: Harvick finished fourth in the Toyota Owners 400, joining Stewart-Haas Racing teammate and third place finisher Clint Bowyer in the top five.

    “SHR has yet to visit Victory Lane,” Harvick said. “And we’re spoiling for a win. Which is surprising, because I’ve always heard that ‘to the victor go the spoils.’ As to the reasons we haven’t been able to win, well, I’m lost.”

    6. Brad Keselowski: Keselowski finished seventh at Richmond and is now fifth in the Monster Energy Cup points standings, 87 out of first.

    “We have a week off for the Easter holiday,” Keselowski said. “And it’s the best time of year for drivers to thank the man upstairs. For me, that would be my spotter, Coleman Pressley.”

    7. Kurt Busch: Busch finished 11th in the Toyota Owners 400 at Richmond.

    “On Twitter, NASCAR described the Richmond race as a ‘classic,’” Busch said. “It was most certainly not. Sure, the race will ‘go down in history.’ And when I say ‘down,’ I mean way down on the list of memorable races.”

    8. Chase Elliott: Elliott started at the rear of the field after failing pre-race inspection, but battled back to post a solid 15th at Richmond.

    “My teammate Jimmie Johnson raced in the Boston Marathon on Monday,” Elliott said. “Jimmie may never win that elusive eighth Cup championship, but he accomplished a feat that I’m sure no other driver has—he lost to a Kenyan.”

    9. Clint Bowyer: Bowyer chased race leader Martin Truex Jr. over the final 40 laps at Richmond, but wasn’t able to make the pass. Bowyer settled for third, his fourth consecutive top-10 finish.

    “I was hoping to force Martin into an unintentional mistake at Richmond,” Bowyer said, “or better yet, an intentional mistake, like a spin. After all, he doesowe me.”

    10. Ryan Blaney: Blaney struggled with handling issues at Richmond and settled for a 25th-place finish.

    “I didn’t even feel like I was driving the car,” Blaney said. “I felt like it was driving me. And it drove me places I care not to go, like ‘crazy,’ ‘insane,’ and ‘up a wall.’”