Tag: Brad Keselowski

  • Hot 20 – If you’re going to play in Texas, you got to have a Biffle in the band

    Hot 20 – If you’re going to play in Texas, you got to have a Biffle in the band

    The voting begins, and there is nary a Trump, Cruz, Clinton, or Sanders to be found. Of course, I am referring to NASCAR’s all-star event coming up in May. While Danica Patrick and that neat gimmick of her’s attracts lots of interest, my pick based on performance would be A.J. Allmendinger. It is not easy for teams to gain relevance. Stewart-Haas picked up a star and that worked for them. Furniture Row had Kurt Busch and Martin Truex Jr. to allow them to turn the corner. A.J. is doing it for JTG Daughterty. That is great to see.

    With the pipes on Chase Elliott, I am wondering if the guy can sing. We have had Merle Haggard, Randy Travis, and Josh Turner, to name a few, but if Chase can sing, we got another potential star on our hands. If not, broadcasting is in his future, but we might have to wait a long, long time. That is a hell of a lot of Boogity-Boogity-Boogities we might have yet to endure in the meantime.

    A three-part series on NASCAR is coming to CMT next month. It looks good. Now, will it show up north of the line? Sometimes I fear that somebody built a wall on the wrong damn border.

    This Saturday night, the boys and girl head west. The way I hear it, if you are going to play in Texas, you got to have a Biffle in the band. That may be true, and it may be a fact this weekend, but sadly such edicts do not include our Hot 20. Greg sits 16 points shy. Maybe the following week.

    1. JIMMIE JOHNSON – 2 WINS – 216 PTS
    Three straight at Texas, five of the past seven. Jimmie does not share easily, except for tweets.

    2. KEVIN HARVICK – 1 WIN – 220 PTS
    Still stands tall, despite less than stellar finish last week.

    3. KYLE BUSCH – 1 WIN – 215 PTS
    After winning a Cup and truck grandfather clock last week, he should never be late ever again.

    4. BRAD KESELOWSKI – 1 WIN – 178 PTS
    Took some time off in Birmingham to see some humpy backed camels and some chimpanzees.

    5. DENNY HAMLIN – 1 WIN – 172 PTS
    Collected a win at Daytona and a wall at Martinsville. Still, he had a better day than Almirola.

    6. CARL EDWARDS – 206 PTS
    When one struggles and still places in the Top Ten, you know you are having a good season.

    7. JOEY LOGANO – 196 PTS
    11th is not bad, but it sucks when you had hopes of finishing first.

    8. AUSTIN DILLON – 176 PTS
    A small issue with teammate Menard, but I understand he has connections with the ownership.

    9. KURT BUSCH – 176 PTS
    Must have the odd Jan Brady moment hearing how wonderful Kyle was…Kyle, Kyle, Kyle.

    10. DALE EARNHARDT JR. – 172 PTS
    Junior loves banana and mayo sandwiches. I prefer tuna and sandwich spread. Discuss.

    11. MARTIN TRUEX JR. – 150 PTS
    Other than for that loose wheel and speeding penalty, Martinsville was great. Just great.

    12. A.J. ALLMENDINGER – 147 PTS
    What Kurt and Truex did for Furniture Row, A.J. is doing for Daugherty.

    13. JAMIE MCMURRAY – 143 PTS
    For Jamie, the STP 500 stood for Stupid Tire Problem.

    14. MATT KENSETH – 140 PTS
    Does not always take the high road, but when he does, he loses a lot of spots late in a race.

    15. RYAN BLANEY – 132 PTS
    Not David Pearson just yet, but at one time even Pearson was not that David Pearson.

    16. CHASE ELLIOTT – 131 PTS
    Jeff who?

    17. RICKY STENHOUSE JR. – 128 PTS
    Sunday he was undone when he got spun.

    18. KASEY KAHNE – 128 PTS
    I think he needs to get All-State back as a sponsor. He was in good hands back then.

    19. RYAN NEWMAN – 126 PTS
    According to the Internet, Newman is a driver, an actress, and manager of the minor league Birmingham Barons. Busy guy.

    20. KYLE LARSON – 125 PTS
    Along with Dillon, Blaney, and Elliott, the kids are making their presence known, with more great talent on the horizon.

    21. PAUL MENARD – 125 PTS
    Should Dillon and Menard have issues, I am sure Paul would retain the support of his sponsor.

  • NASCAR Top-10 Power Rankings: Martinsville

    NASCAR Top-10 Power Rankings: Martinsville

    Note: The quotes in this article are fictional.

    1. Kyle Busch: Busch led 352 of 500 laps on his way to a commanding win in the STP 500, his first ever Sprint Cup win at Martinsville.

    “Finally,” Busch said, “I get the Martinsville grandfather clock. After 21 tries, I can look at this trophy and confidently say, ‘It’s about time.’

    “Leading 352 of 500 laps is just pure dominance. I’m shocked that the car was a good as it was. And my crew chief Dave Rogers was as well. After the race, he said to me, ‘Do you know how fast you were going?’”

    2. Jimmie Johnson: Johnson finished ninth in the STP 500, posting his fourth top 10 of the year. He is second in the Sprint Cup points standings, four behind Kevin Harvick.

    “I advocate stronger concussion protocols in our sport,” Johnson said. “Chad Knaus disagrees. He’s against anything that calls for more thorough inspections.”

    3. Kevin Harvick: Harvick finished 17th at Martinsville, his first result outside the top 10 this season.

    “If you would have told me before the race,” Harvick said, “that I’d finish one spot behind Danica Patrick, I would have said, “I guess I didn’t finish second.”

    4. Carl Edwards: Edwards took sixth in the STP 500 as Joe Gibbs Racing teammate Kyle Busch won. Edwards is 14th in the Sprint Cup points standings, 14 out of first.

    “Congratulations to Kyle,” Edwards said. “In his victory burnout, he smoked the tires. And speaking of ‘smoking’ the tires, NASCAR driver Derek White was arrested by Canadian police in a tobacco smuggling ring. Authorities seized 52,800 kilograms of tobacco. I guess where tobacco in concerned, the US-Canada border is unfiltered.”

    5. Brad Keselowski: Keselowski recorded his second top-five finish of the year with a fifth at Martinsville.

    “It was a typical day at Martinsville,” Keselowski said. “There was beating and banging, grumbling, and a few caution flags. These are all examples of your stomach warning you after eating a Martinsville hot dog.”

    6. Kurt Busch: Busch finished 13th at Martinsville as younger brother Kyle won. Busch is seventh in the points standings, 44 out of first.

    “I’m proud of Kyle for winning his first Martinsville grandfather clock,” Busch said. “As you know, clocks have little hands and big hands, and Brian France earlier made his political endorsement based on that criteria.”

    7. Joey Logano: Logano started on the pole but went a lap down early at Martinsville, as tire grip issues sent him backward. However, he recovered to post a solid 11th, and now occupies the fifth spot in the points standings.

    “We hit a rough patch to start the race,” Logano said, “but we worked things out. That’s a testament to the preparation and attention to detail of this team. There’s a lot to be said for crossing your T’s and dotting your ‘squinty and douchey’ ‘I’s.’

    8. Denny Hamlin: Hamlin crashed early and finished a disappointing 39th in the STP 500 at Martinsville.

    “The wreck was the result of a wheel hop,” Hamlin said. “Frankly, I’m embarrassed that it happened. I’m also angry. You could say I’m ‘hopping mad.’ Ironically, if you’ve ever seen me play basketball, you know I’ve never been accused of having ‘mad hops.’”

    9. Dale Earnhardt Jr.: After falling a lap down early at Martinsville, Earnhardt battled his way back to score a respectable 14th-place finish. He is ninth in the points standings, 48 out of first.

    “As you probably heard,” Earnhardt said, “I decided to donate my brain to concussion research. My dad made a lot of enemies on the track, so you can add ‘science’ to the list of entities that wanted an Earnhardt’s head on a platter.”

    10. Austin Dillon: Dillon posted his second top-five finish of the year with a fourth at Martinsville. He is seventh in the Sprint Cup points standings, 44 out of first.

    “Joey Logano finished 11th,” Dillon said, “and Matt Kenseth finished 15th. So, much like the last race here, there were four drivers ‘separating’ the two.”

  • Surprising and Not Surprising: STP 500 at Martinsville

    Surprising and Not Surprising: STP 500 at Martinsville

    Paperclips, hot dogs, and close racing. These are all the ingredients of another exciting Sprint Cup Series race at Martinsville Speedway, the oldest track in NASCAR. The 67th annual STP 500, the second oldest race in all of NASCAR, is in the books. Here is what was surprising and not surprising from Sunday’s event.

    Surprising: Kyle Busch finally won his first Sprint Cup race at Martinsville in his 22nd attempt. It’s his 35th Sprint Cup win and yet another weekend sweep as “Rowdy” had won the Camping World Truck Series race the day before.

    Busch, who is a month shy of his 31st birthday, has won 169 national touring series races (Cup, XFINITY, and Truck) in just 13 full time seasons. He is only 41 wins away from Richard Petty’s mark of 200, a record nobody thought could ever be broken. That being said, if Cup races were only being counted, Busch would need to win 165 more races to reach Petty’s 200; a near impossibility that would require Busch to go undefeated for nearly five seasons.

    Busch is also very close to becoming the first driver in NASCAR’s Modern Era (1972 on) to have won at every single track he has ever raced at in Sprint Cup. The only tracks he hasn’t won at are Kansas, Pocono, and Charlotte. He’s already won at both Kansas and Charlotte multiple times in XFINITY and Trucks as it is. The two closest to this mark, Jimmie Johnson and Tony Stewart, cannot achieve this as they never won at Rockingham Speedway when it was on the Sprint Cup calendar.

    Busch was proud of this diversity when he entered the media room following his win. But, of course, he wasn’t thinking just about Cup.

    “As far as being able to check off some more races, I checked off the truck series win yesterday,” said Busch.  “I never won here at Martinsville in the trucks.  I think I’ve concluded being able to win at all the active tracks that I’ve made a start in the truck series.  I believe that’s right.  And then I’ve got Watkins Glen left on the XFINITY side, and I’ve got I think three, Kansas, Pocono and somewhere — Charlotte.  Imagine that.

    So it’s a pretty good problem to have. There’s not very many left on the list, but we’ve certainly put some emphasis on that over the past few years and being able to try to do that last year was a big year for us, knocking off a couple of those, as well. I’m pumped when I’m able to do that. I don’t know that many guys have ever been able to accomplish being able to win at every single active track that they’ve made starts at, and I look forward to trying to complete that feat.”

    Even so, Busch isn’t thinking too much about old Cup records, even when asked if he could match David Pearson’s 105 mark.

    “Man, I thought I’d get that question when I was like 75 or wherever the hell Jimmie is at,” Busch responded. “Y’all just asked Jimmie if he could make it to 100, I think last week or two weeks ago.  We’ve got a long ways ahead of us.  Let’s get to 50 first; how about that?”

    Not surprising: There were more accidents at Martinsville than at any other races so far in this young season. It all started off when David Ragan got into the fan favorite Dale Earnhardt Jr. just six laps into the 500 lap endurance race.

    “The No. 23 pushed up in the middle of the corner and just barely touched us and it cut the left-rear tire,” Earnhardt said following the race. He battled for much of the day to get back on the lead lap and ended up 14th after pitting on the last caution.

    Some of the other incidents included Brian Scott knocking Michael Annett into the wall, Regan Smith’s two wrecks, and shockingly, favorite Denny Hamlin.

    “It’s my first time ever doing it here, so it’s a little embarrassing, but I mean we were the fastest car those last 30 laps and we got back to the top-five and I was making up a lot of my speed on entry,” Hamlin said about his misfortune on lap 222. “As the tires wear, the rears get hotter, less grip, you can’t brake at the same amount and I, just – it was really out of the blue. I didn’t ever have a hint of it up until that moment, so a bit of a rookie move on my part – been around here too much to do something like that, but learning for the fall and I’m really encouraged about how good our car came up through the pack and I really thought we had a car that could win.”

    Surprising: AJ Allmendinger ended the day second after spending most of the race in the top 10. It matched his record finish at a NASCAR oval, another runner-up finish at Martinsville in 2012.

    It’s the Los Gatos, California native’s first top-five finish since his win at Watkins Glen in 2014.

    “Well, Brian Burns and Tony Palmer, my crew chief and race engineer last year, they were just at a bit of a disadvantage,” Allmendinger said, reflecting on what has changed since last season at JTG Daugherty. “We didn’t have the personnel to have the cars where we needed them when they left the race shop, exactly where they needed to be, getting put into the hauler and getting brought to the racetrack. Ernie (new competition director, Cope) is really good.  He’s had a relationship with RCR working there, and obviously, when he worked with Kevin Harvick and they had the truck and Busch teams at the time.  So he’s been really good about making sure we got what we need for the race cars and built the way they need to be to the specs that he wants them and things like that, and Randall, for a first-year crew chief, you wouldn’t really know it.  He’s great on the box.  He calms me, which shockingly I don’t know if you guys know that, I probably need that sometimes.

    It doesn’t seem like he’s only done this for six races. They’ve brought a lot, but it’s not just about those guys. Brian Burns and Tony Palmer, they stepped back into new roles and instead of feeling like they were downsized or demoted they’ve stepped up and embraced it.”

    Kyle Larson, who ended the day third, had run top five all day before moving up on the final restart.

    “Yeah, it was a solid weekend for myself, also,” Larson said, referring to his start in the truck race the day before.  “I was able to do double duty this week, and I think that definitely helped me get my rhythm early in the weekend and better myself each time I was on the track.

    Our car was way better than it has been here in the past. I felt like I learned a lot throughout that race. I was able to run behind great drivers here, AJ, Jimmie (Johnson) Kevin (Harvick), Kurt (Busch), (Brad) Keselowski, there was a lot of people that I could learn off of.  You know, this was — in the past it’s been my worst racetrack on the schedule, so to get a top-three finish here feels great, feels like a win, to be honest, and hopefully, this is a good momentum shift that we need. We’ve been struggling all year long so far and been working hard, but it hasn’t paid off.”

    Not surprising: Change the cars, change the tires, change the point system. The one constant in NASCAR, outside of Kevin Harvick winning at Phoenix, is that restarting on the outside line at Martinsville is not a good thing.

    Matt Kenseth and Harvick, after being up front almost the entire day, struggled to 15th and 17th respectively after being on the outside line on the last restart.

    It has been the story of the year for Kenseth. He has been fast every week but outside of a seventh at Phoenix has always faded back by the time the checkered flag waves.

    “Yeah, we had a great Dollar General Toyota today,” Kenseth said following the race. “We’ve had fast cars this year, but got shuffled to the back, so disappointing ending but it was an encouraging day. We ran really well, had great pit stops and they gave me fast cars. Hopefully, we’ll start getting some finishes soon.”

    Harvick did not speak to the media following the race.

    Surprising: Austin Dillon, at a track where he had a best finish of 12th going in, ended the day a strong fourth after a back and fourth battle between himself and teammate Paul Menard in the latter stages of the race.

    It has been a career year for the Richard Childress Racing driver, who has an average finish of 10.3 and has doubled his career number of top fives. He currently sits eighth in points. Dillon, however, puts most of the credit on his crew at RCR.

    “We just keep getting better every week,” Dillon said. “I didn’t like myself last year. I didn’t like who I was for the team. I was frustrated and I wanted to be better for these guys. When they step-up, they make me better. I’m trying to be different, but I’m not doing a lot of different stuff. They’re just building me a lot better race cars. Everybody back at the shop putting all those 80-hour weeks in, I hope you understand how important it is because you’re making it happen. I wish we had one more spot, but that was pretty darn cool.”

    Not surprising: Brad Keselowski has never won at Martinsville but has always been very consistent, with seven top 10s in 13 starts at “the Paperclip”.

    This didn’t change on Sunday when the driver of the No. 2 Miller Lite Ford finished fifth.

    “It was a good Martinsville race,” the 2012 Sprint Cup champion said. “We had a lot of speed with the Miller Lite Ford on the long runs, but just not quite enough on the short runs to make anything of the Gibbs cars. They were really strong all day. All in all, I’m real proud of my team. We’re starting to get to this place where we’re real consistent and can run up front and that’s a good feeling.”

    Next week, it’s the first night race of the season at the Texas Motor Speedway. Tune in Saturday night at 7:30 p.m. EST for the Duck Commander 500.

  • Hot 20 of the 40 making their way to the truly traditional race at Martinsville

    Hot 20 of the 40 making their way to the truly traditional race at Martinsville

    A full field. I may be a traditionalist in many ways, but a 40 car field seems about right to me now. It costs money to put a car on the track, to fit the templates, to run fast enough over a lap or two to qualify. That is even so when that auto is destined to simply start and park.

    Three fewer starting spots means an entry that has no intention to try will soon enough whither and die. It becomes too much of a gamble, leaving it to teams like the Wood Brothers, Premium, and the Motorsports Group to fill up any void, to grow, to matter. The No. 55 Premium owned car of Reed Sorenson makes its season debut. The 39 others have all attempted every race, with the No. 30 of Josh Wise and the No. 98 of Cole Whitt only missing the start at Daytona.

    If I were a strict traditionalist, I would love races decided by laps instead of inches, but I do not. A traditionalist would want a return to old stock cars, open masked helmets, a monkey in the cockpit or even concrete walls. I do not. What I want is to have Joe, Fireball, Tiny, Bobby, J.D., Clifford, John, Adam, Kenny, and Dale back.

    A traditionalist would subscribe to the notion that a driver can drive where ever he damn well pleases. Still, I think Kyle Busch and other Cup drivers have made the XFINITY series irrelevant, which is a damn shame. It irks me how much it steals from the public spotlight that should belong to up and comers like Daniel Suarez, Erik Jones, Ty Dillon, and Darrell Wallace Jr. If NASCAR instituted a “powder puff” division for women, hell, Kyle would probably want to run there, too.

    However, a traditionalist loves excellence. A traditionalist wants to see a king on top of the mountain and a field of challengers looking to knock him off the peak. There were some seasons it appeared that Richard Petty was competing against XFINITY drivers. Some might argue that, back in the day, he might have been. Some argue how bad it was for Jimmie Johnson to win five straight titles. I argue that it made it that much sweeter when someone came along good enough to take that title away.

    Martinsville reminds me of that. The three hottest of our Hot 20 have, between them, claimed 14 victories at Martinsville. Kevin Harvick has one of them. Denny Hamlin has five. Johnson? He would be the guy with eight to his credit over the course of his career. As a traditionalist, I like that. It gives the rest of them something to go after, something that would be really meaningful if they can accomplish it. Still, Johnson needs another seven just to tie Petty’s career total on the circuit that has been hosting such events since 1948. A traditionalist would love to see him do it.

    1 – JIMMIE JOHNSON – 2 WINS – 184 PTS
    Most successful driver of the 21st century, the best active driver competing at Martinsville.

    2 – KEVIN HARVICK – 1 WIN – 195 PTS
    A former champion, the leader in points, and still feels he has something to prove on Sunday.

    3 – DENNY HAMLIN – 1 WIN – 170 PTS
    I bet his grandfather clock was too large for the shelf, so it stood the past year on the floor.

    4 – BRAD KESELOWSKI – 1 WIN – 142 PTS
    If the future President Keselowski has to wear a sponsor covered fire-suit, shouldn’t politicians?

    5 – CARL EDWARDS – 171 PTS
    Averaging a seventh place finish every week is not bad.

    6T – KYLE BUSCH – 170 PTS
    Ditto. Now with no XFINITY race to worry about this weekend, the trucks, the trucks are calling.

    6T – JOEY LOGANO – 170 PTS
    Ditto that ditto. Now, as long as Kenseth doesn’t get mad at him this weekend…

    8 – KURT BUSCH – 148 PTS
    Will not be in the Indianapolis 500 this year. So, I guess that also means Monaco is out.

    9 – DALE EARNHARDT JR. – 145 PTS
    Will donate his brain for concussion research…but they should expect a very long wait.

    10 – AUSTIN DILLON – 139 PTS
    How a guy looks in a cowboy hat may depend on his ability, and he is looking better all the time.

    11 – MARTIN TRUEX JR. – 127 PTS
    Just the latest member of the “Joey is a Jerk” club.

    12 – JAMIE MCMURRAY – 125 PTS
    No truth to the report that he has insured his dimples for a million dollars.

    13 – ARIC ALMIROLA – 120 PTS
    You would think the ole No. 43 would be a favorite to win the STP 500.

    14 – RICKY STENHOUSE JR. – 119 PTS
    Not everyone gets to escape from all his racing peers on a holiday, or wants to.

    15 – MATT KENSETH – 113 PTS
    If having a horrid season still has one sitting in a Chase place, just how horrid can it be?

    16T – RYAN BLANEY – 110 PTS
    When your son surpasses you, that is when a father knows just how great a job he has done.

    16T – CHASE ELLIOTT – 110 PTS
    If he used his given name, we would have yet another “Junior” on our hands.

    18 – KASEY KAHNE – 109 PTS
    I am guessing Ricky and Danica did not invite him over for Easter.

    19 – A.J. ALLMENDINGER – 108 PTS
    Might consider a return to IndyCar…once they put a roof on the auto and not before.

    20T – TREVOR BAYNE – 95 PTS
    Almost easy to dismiss the once promising rising star driving for Roush…but he is only 25.

    20T – RYAN NEWMAN – 95 PTS
    Wants more barrier protection for his pit crew…and on some tracks that shortfall is evident.

  • NASCAR Top-10 Power Rankings: California

    NASCAR Top-10 Power Rankings: California

    Note: The quotes in this article are fictional.

    1. Jimmie Johnson: Johnson got by Kevin Harvick on a late restart and won the Auto Club 400, giving him 77 career wins, one more than the late Dale Earnhardt.

    “’Superman’ was on my car today,” Johnson said, “and his superpowers seemed to rub off on me. Some say I leap tall buildings; others, like maybe Kevin Harvick, say I jump restarts.”

    2. Kevin Harvick: Harvick dominated at Fontana, leading 142 of 205 laps, but fell short after a late caution evaporated his sizable lead. Jimmie Johnson slipped by Harvick on the restart, leaving Harvick with another runner-up finish, his 15th in the last two seasons.

    “Unless it’s not a tenth of a second,” Harvick said, “I’m getting tired of hearing about seconds.

    3. Kyle Busch: Busch blew a tire late at Fontana on Sunday, the same fate he suffered in Saturday’s XFINITY Series race. Busch eventually finished 25th and dropped three places in the points standings.

    “I’m not sure what’s going on with our tires,” Busch said. “Is Goodyear peddling faulty rubber? It would take a real sales job to sell bad tires to an established racing team. So, who’s the real person with superpowers? Batman, Superman, or the Goodyear Pimp?

    “I gave NASCAR an earful after they refused to wave a caution flag when I blew the tire in the XFINITY race. Of course, they’ll levy a hefty fine on me I’m sure. But that’s okay. The Busch family ‘swear jar’ is a 55-gallon drum.”

    4. Carl Edwards: Edwards started fifth at Fontana and finished seventh, posting his fourth top 10 of the year.

    “The No. 19 Toyota was fast,” Edwards said, “but it just didn’t have the handling to put me over the top. I was fighting the steering wheel all day. I know my sponsor Subway would rather not hear these two particular words, but Sunday was a ‘hard drive.’”

    5. Kurt Busch: Busch started 26th and started from the rear in a backup car, leading to a long day at Fontana. He finished 30th, the last car on the lead lap.

    “I got rammed by Dale Earnhardt Jr.,” Busch said, “and I’m angry. Junior had Batman on his car, which made me want to go ‘Robin’ on him, with a ‘trusty sidekick’ to the head.”

    6. Joey Logano: Logano took fourth in the Auto Club 400, scoring his second top-five finish of the year. He is sixth in the Sprint Cup points standings, 30 out of first.

    “Hey,” Logano said, “I love Batman and Superman. Jimmie Johnson and Dale Earnhardt Jr. showed me that it’s cool to have ‘Superfriends’ on their cars. Matt Kenseth showed me that it’s not so great to have an ‘Avenger’ in his car.”

    7. Denny Hamlin: Hamlin finished third at Fontana, posted his second consecutive third place finish. He is now fourth in the points standings, 25 out of first.

    “Kasey Kahne wrecked Danica Patrick,” Hamlin said, “and Danica was none too happy. I think it’s safe to say, despite all the images of Batman and Superman at the race, Patrick and Kahne won’t be ‘super friends.’

    “Me? I had my issues with Danica, and I’ve tried talking to her face to face to come to some resolution. It hasn’t always worked. Talking to Danica is like talking to a wall, a very pretty wall.”

    8. Dale Earnhardt Jr.: Earnhardt finished 11th in the Auto Club 400 as Hendrick teammate Jimmie Johnson captured the win.

    “The No. 88 Chevrolet sported a ‘Batman’ theme in connection with the ‘Batman Vs. Superman: Dawn Of Justice’ movie,” Earnhardt said. “And my merchandise tent did as well. We were selling any and everything that had a bat on it—hats, T-shirts, flags, all kinds of crap. You know my fans—they’ll go bat ‘S’ crazy over bat ‘S’ if it has my name on it.”

    9. Brad Keselowski: Keselowski finished ninth in the Auto Club 400, joining Penske Racing teammate Joey Logano, who finished fourth, in the top 10.

    “I love the way NASCAR is promoting the upcoming ‘Batman Vs. Superman’ movie,” Keselowski said. “I think most drivers would say this sport needs more heroes. Danica Patrick would say this sport needs more heroines. Jeremy Mayfield would say this sport needs more heroin.”

    10. Austin Dillon: Dillon started on the pole in the Auto Club 400 yet didn’t lead a single lap and finished a distant 24th. He is 10th in the points standings, 56 out of first.

    “The heck with Sunday’s race,” Dillon said. “Let’s talk about Saturday’s race. I won when Kyle Busch blew a tire and Daniel Suarez ran out of gas. I haven’t had a race handed to me like that by anyone other than my grandfather.”

  • Hot 20 – Johnson is again California dreaming while Harvick is staying with SHR…or is he?

    Hot 20 – Johnson is again California dreaming while Harvick is staying with SHR…or is he?

    Best damn finishes ever. Well, for two of the four events to date, that has been the headline for NASCAR in 2016. Daytona and Phoenix were decided by gaps measurable with a ruler, and that has to be a good thing. Hell, a great thing. That said, just how exciting has the visual been, what you and I see on the television prior to the final few laps? Pushing the fast forward button at Daytona was difficult, but it always is. As for the rest, the temptation has been there to quicken the action, if only for a few round and round laps.

    Kevin Harvick won last week by a hair over Carl Edwards. That was a good story. Rumblings that Harvick might bolt Stewart-Haas Racing when it abandons Chevrolet for Ford might be a better one. Oh, no, it is not going to happen, if you listened to the driver at Daytona. Funny, that was the same line Tony Stewart gave before he dashed away from Joe Gibbs when they went with Toyota. Mind you, this is different. For example, we are not hearing anything about anyone about to place Harvick’s name on the wall as a name partner any time soon, but the point is that today’s promise could always wind up broken.

    A piece by Beyond the Flag’s Christopher Olmstead does make one ponder, with sponsor deals with Busch Beer and Jimmy Johns coming to an end after this season and only an option of keeping Harvick for a season longer if push comes to shove. If he bails, some figure he could replace Kasey Kahne in the Rick Hendrick stable. Makes some sense. Still, there is a good chance that where there is Smoke there shall also be Harvick. Rumors can be fun, at least for the gossipers if not so much for the principles involved. Did we not once think a certain Hendrick driver would actually wind up driving for Richard Childress in a car his dad made famous? Nice story, different ending. It could be the same with this one.

    Here is hoping the racing at Fontana proves entertaining from start to middle, as well as the finish. Even more entertaining than any rumors. No doubt, a few of the drivers among our Hot 20 will be front and center this weekend, as Jimmy Johns might be replaced by Jimmie Johnson as Sunday’s center of attention. Now, why am I yearning for a sandwich about now?

    1. KEVIN HARVICK – 1 WIN – 154 PTS
    In the words of Joe Cocker and Jennifer Warnes, he is once again back up where he belongs.

    2. JIMMIE JOHNSON – 1 WIN – 140 PTS
    Expect no less than a Top Ten, as long as he has something more than vice-grips to steer with.

    3. DENNY HAMLIN – 1 WIN – 131 PTS
    Last week he did not have a great performance, yet finished third. Sometimes okay is enough.

    4. BRAD KESELOWSKI – 1 WIN – 110 PTS
    Needed a bus at Phoenix, as everyone knows its wheels go round and round, not kaboom!

    5. KYLE BUSCH – 154 PTS
    3rd, 3rd, 4th, 4th kind of works as he goes forth.

    6. KURT BUSCH – 137 PTS
    At least, we have one Busch who knows why Big Leaguers do not regularly play Little League.

    7. CARL EDWARDS – 136 PTS
    Carl mattered in Phoenix, he will matter at Fontana.

    8. JOEY LOGANO – 127 PTS
    Life lesson #22: Gas and go…but get all the gas you can before you go.

    9. AUSTIN DILLON – 122 PTS
    A new generation is making its presence felt…but where are Newman and Menard?

    10. MARTIN TRUEX JR. – 117 PTS
    A new manufacturer, trouble in inspection, a race without his crew chief…and all is well?

    11. DALE EARNHARDT JR. – 115 PTS
    Would be much, much higher if Daytona had not been so much a disappointment.

    12. RYAN BLANEY – 104 PTS
    Some fly charter, some fly coach, and for some, it just does not matter.

    13. ARIC ALMIROLA – 100 PTS
    No matter where he goes to bed at night he always remains Almirola by morning.

    14. KASEY KAHNE – 96 PTS
    Beaten up by a loose air cooling hose in the car, finally beaten by a tire issue outside it.

    15. JAMIE MCMURRAY – 94 PTS
    Has never enjoyed a Top Ten season. Even in 2010 (Daytona 500/Brickyard) he finished 14th.

    16. MATT KENSETH – 90 PTS
    Relevant in every race, but just has had trouble before the end of every race…except for last week.

    17. KYLE LARSON – 85 PTS
    Not yet a Top 15 driver. Not yet.

    18. RICKY STENHOUSE JR. – 83 PTS
    Even after the disaster that was Phoenix, he still is the best performer Roush-Fenway has.

    19. GREG BIFFLE – 76 PTS
    A mean handling car meant another long day for the Biff.

    20. A.J. ALLMENDINGER – 75 PTS
    Average finish of 20th does not cut it, but it beats Trevor, Chase, Danica, Ryan, Paul, Clint…

  • NASCAR Top-10 Power Rankings: Phoenix

    NASCAR Top-10 Power Rankings: Phoenix

    Note: The quotes in this article are fictional.

    1. Kyle Busch: Busch finished fourth at Phoenix to post his fourth top-five finish of the season. He is tied with Kevin Harvick for the lead in the Sprint Cup points standings.

    “I’m surprised Carl Edwards and Kevin Harvick both didn’t wreck each other before they reached the finish line,” Busch said. “I think it would have made for great controversy, although their cars would have been torn up. But I would have been more than happy to pick up the pieces.

    “As for being co-leader in the points, there’s only thing I care to share with Harvick, and that’s mutual hatred.”

    2. Kevin Harvick: Harvick battled Carl Edwards door to door over the final lap at Phoenix and held on to win the Good Sam 500 by .01 seconds.

    “I was surprised I was able to hold off Edwards,” Harvick said. “He may have had fresh tires, but I had a flag that said, ‘Don’t tread on me.’”

    3. Carl Edwards: Despite having fresh right-side tires for the final restart at Phoenix, Edwards was unable to complete the pass on Kevin Harvick, instead losing by .01 seconds.

    “Harvick and I traded a lot of paint,” Edwards said. “We were racing so close, I felt like I could have reached over and grabbed him by the throat. The only thing that’s clashed harder than our cars is our personalities.”

    4. Jimmie Johnson: Johnson finished 11th at Phoenix after starting in a backup car, due to a wreck in Friday’s qualifying.

    “My steering wheel literally came loose in my hands,” Johnson said. “I guess that would be the most severe case of ‘losing your handling.’ And what an impact. I haven’t ‘hit a wall’ like that since right after winning my sixth championship.”

    5. Kurt Busch: Busch finished sixth in the Good Sam 500, recording his fourth top 10 of the year. He is fourth in the points standings, 17 out of first.

    “That’s a top 10 in each race this year,” Busch said. “That’s called consistency, which is a word that is not used very often to describe me, particularly the history of my mental state.”

    6. Joey Logano: Logano finished 18th at Phoenix after his crew failed to fill his fuel tank on what should have been his final pit stop. Logano was forced to pit for a splash of gas, which likely cost him a top 10.

    “I thought for sure we got all the fuel in,” Logano said. “Even Matt Kenseth would vouch for that fact—he said I ‘was full of it.’”

    7. Denny Hamlin: Hamlin started third at Phoenix, part of a 1-2-3 Joe Gibbs Racing sweep in qualifying, and finished third, posting his first top-five since winning the Daytona 500.

    “What a finish between Kevin Harvick and Carl Edwards,” Hamlin said. “I think many people are surprised that Edwards didn’t send Harvick into the wall to get past him, as NASCAR legend Dale Earnhardt would have done. But let’s be serious. Only one person considers Edwards the ‘Intimidator,’ and that’s Matt Kenseth.”

    8. Austin Dillon: Dillon took ninth in the Good Sam 500, posting his third top-10 result of the year.

    “It was an otherwise lousy day for Richard Childress Racing,” Dillon said. “My teammates Ryan Newman and Paul Menard finished last and next-to-last. Both suffered right-front tire failures. Some will ask: ‘Who blows more? The tires, or the drivers?’ In any case, Ryan and Paul will always have a job with RCR, probably as the guys who scuff the surface of new tires, because they’re scrubs.”

    9. Dale Earnhardt Jr.: Earnhardt came home fifth at Phoenix, the top finisher among Hendrick Motorsports drivers.

    “It’s too bad it didn’t end with tempers flaring,” Earnhardt said. “That would have made for a perfect ‘March Mad-ness’ tie-in.”

    10. Brad Keselowski: Keselowski suffered a blown right-rear tire on lap 226 at Phoenix, and the resulting damage left the No. 2 Penske Ford with a 29th-place finish.

    “What an entertaining finish,” Keselowski said. “Carl Edwards and Kevin Harvick put on quite a show. Rest assured, when those two are battling for something, it’s definitely not a popularity contest. I really would have loved to have been part of an Edwards-Harvick duel, preferably as the guy that says, ‘Take 10 paces, turn, and fire.’”

  • The Final Word – Harvick rises like a phoenix at Phoenix from the tears of Edwards

    The Final Word – Harvick rises like a phoenix at Phoenix from the tears of Edwards

    A phoenix rises from the ashes to be reborn. In Phoenix, Kevin Harvick rose from the tears of Carl Edwards to once again become the Cactus King, the driver to beat at Phoenix.

    In November of 2012, Harvick won his first at that track. The next spring, the winner was Edwards. Last fall, Dale Earnhardt, Jr. was the victor. The four in between were all claimed by the man who has been victorious in six of the past eight events run in Arizona. That is domination, but it was close on Sunday. Very close.

    Harvick had the dominant car on the day. Oh, what a surprise that was. However, he came to the overtime dash to the finish on four used tires, compared to the two fresh ones underneath Edwards. Underneath is where the gent went to make the pass, but Edwards did not get a clean get away. Side by side, fender to fender, fender into fender they came to the stripe, with Harvick taking it by a head. My head, if I had been foolish enough to have had it laying on the track, just 0.01 of a second for the closest outcome ever at this track, one of the closest finishes on any track, at any time.

    Edwards was no slacker on the day, sitting among the top three pretty much from start to finish. He was the guy who was chasing Kyle Busch over the first 60 laps of this thing. Even a little miss on pit road did not derail Busch for long, as he concluded the event in fourth. Denny Hamlin was third, even after an early stop saw a tire roll away to find him penalized from fourth to 26th at the time. Earnhardt (5th) and Kurt Busch (6th) were also among the notables on the day, with young Chase Elliott bringing it home in eighth.

    Sometimes being tired equates into being fatigued, adding new rubber in the pits, or having them fail to send one into the wall. Ryan Newman (39th) was the first casualty just over 50 laps into the race, and every fifty laps or so after somebody else got bit. Next up was Paul Menard (38th), to be followed by Ricky Stenhouse, Jr. (37th), but the exploding tread from Brad Keselowski (29th) was the most spectacular failure.

    The Danica Patrick Line last Sunday was drawn at 19th, one place behind Joey Logano, who had a fuel intake issue that forced a late stop for juice, and Matt DiBenedetto in 20th.

    The good news for everybody is the fact Harvick has not won at Fontana for the past five years. From 2004-2010, they visited the California venue twice, allowing the likes of Jimmie Johnson (5), and Matt Kenseth (3) to pick up a bunch of wins. Harvick and Tony Stewart have won there since they returned to a one and done situation, with Kyle winning twice before Keselowski took it last spring.

    Those last two might be considered decent selections for the prognosticators, but remember that since 2006 Johnson has finished outside the Top 15 just once over the past 15 starts at Fontana. With both Edwards and Kenseth also boasting Top Ten averages, the track could live up to the community’s motto as the “City of Action.” I can live with that.

  • Hot 20 – The heat is on at Phoenix after an endorsement, poor ratings, and some poorer finishes

    Hot 20 – The heat is on at Phoenix after an endorsement, poor ratings, and some poorer finishes

    It is a strange world we live in. Donald Trump appears on his way to the Republican nomination, but an endorsement from Brian France has folks in a tizzy. It could kill the diversity NASCAR is striving for, some claim. That is true. I doubt Trump would be a supporter of any team hiring an illegal alien to drive for them. Crazy, I know.

    If that is not bad enough, the television ratings have gone from bad, to worse, to not nearly as awful as the first two races. In a sport that had something of a cult following a decade ago, NASCAR no longer releases attendance figures, prize payouts, and has torn down some grandstands. The antidote will be found on the track, in their marketing, and in the economy. As always, there remains stark room for improvement in all those areas.

    A year ago, Dale Earnhardt Jr. won at Phoenix. Five of the six before that, Kevin Harvick claimed the prize. Now, if anyone could use a win this weekend, Danica Patrick, Chase Elliott, and Clint Bowyer would be among them. They sure are not among the Hot 20 going into Sunday’s action.

    1. JIMMIE JOHNSON – 1 WIN – 110 PTS
    Drives like Superman. In California, he will even look a bit like him.

    2. BRAD KESELOWSKI – 1 WIN – 98 PTS
    Flag on the ground, flag on the ground, felt like a fool with the flag on the ground.

    3. DENNY HAMLIN – 1 WIN – 93 PTS
    Recently was asked if driver confrontations are staged. Sure, about as much as a Republican debate.

    4. KYLE BUSCH – 116 PTS
    Best in points, zip in wins. Close only counts in horseshoes, hand grenades, and NASCAR

    5. KEVIN HARVICK – 109 PTS
    Has won five of past seven races at Phoenix. If I were a betting man…

    6. JOEY LOGANO – 104 PTS
    Truck decal: Things I hate: warm beer, cold women, Joey Logano and Brad Keselowski

    7. KURT BUSCH – 102 PTS
    A pit-road speed limiter button request was made by the speedster to f****** NASCAR.

    8. CARL EDWARDS – 96 PTS
    Twice failing template inspection last week earns the team a written note of bad tidings.

    9T. AUSTIN DILLON – 90 PTS
    It has been a while since the No. 3 sat in Victory Lane. It might not be long before it returns.

    9T. MARTIN TRUEX JR. – 90 PTS
    Crew Chief is in the sin bin this week, but the driver has been a factor thus far.

    11. RICKY STENHOUSE, JR. – 79 PTS
    If Dillon’s performances surprise you, this must make your head spin.

    12. DALE EARNHARDT JR. – 78 PTS
    California’s Caped Crusader hopes to repeat at Gotham…er…Phoenix.

    13. KASEY KAHNE – 77 PTS
    Bouncing back, or just bouncing. The jury remains out.

    14. RYAN BLANEY – 73 PTS
    While Mr. Elliott gets the headlines, fellow rookie Blaney thrives in un-Chartered territory.

    15. ARIC ALMIROLA – 72 PTS
    Living the all-American dream in the all-American car, employed by an all-American icon.

    16. JAMIE MCMURRAY – 69 PTS
    Some consider this to be a slow start, but it is way too early to get terribly excited just yet.

    17. RYAN NEWMAN – 66 PTS
    Led just one lap this season. Maybe he is going for quality rather than quantity.

    18. PAUL MENARD – 62 PTS
    Getting out of a hole at this time of year is a whole lot easier than trying to do it later.

    19. REGAN SMITH – 57 PTS
    Good start by Tommy Baldwin entry, but last two results have been far from impressive.

    20T. TREVOR BAYNE – 56 PTS
    Finally had a Top 20 finish last week. Well, at least, that is something.

    20T. KYLE LARSON – 56 PTS
    Was looking pretty good, then came Las Vegas.

    20T. MATT KENSETH – 56 PTS
    If NASCAR had a bumper car division, he would be running away with it this season.

    20T. GREG BIFFLE – 56 PTS
    Tied with his former team-mate and ahead of Danica. That might not make him feel any better.

  • NASCAR Top-10 Power Rankings: Las Vegas

    NASCAR Top-10 Power Rankings: Las Vegas

    Note: The quotes in this article are fictional.

    1. Kyle Busch: Busch led late at Las Vegas but was passed with five laps to go by Brad Keselowski, who went on to win the Kobalt 400. Busch leads the Sprint Cup points standings by six points over Jimmie Johnson.

    “The No. 18 M&M’s car had a late wheel vibration that affected the handling,” Busch said. “If that type of vibration happens to the No. 48 car, you’d call it a ‘Shimmie Johnson.’”

    2. Jimmie Johnson: Johnson led a race-high 76 laps and finished third in the Kobalt 400 at Las Vegas Motor Speedway.

    “It was a grueling race due to the weather,” Johnson said, “and that takes a physical toll on a driver. Take it from a guy who runs triathlons—even I was ‘winded’ afterwards.”

    3. Kevin Harvick: Harvick took seventh at Las Vegas, piloting the No. 4 Jimmy Johns Chevy to its third top-10 finish of the year.

    “NASCAR legend Mark Martin has endorsed Donald Trump as the Republican nominee for President,” Harvick said. “Martin urged Trump to ‘build that wall.’ A lot of people have urged Trump to do that. Some have even encouraged him to build that wall out of Muslims. I don’t know how high a wall would be needed to prevent illegal aliens from crossing the border. I do know that a four-foot wall would prevent Mark from seeing over it.”

    4. Joey Logano: Logano finished second to Brad Keselowski as Penske Racing swept the top two places at Las Vegas. Logano is fourth in the points standings, 12 behind Kyle Busch.

    “That’s right,” Logano said, “Penske drivers went 1-2 at Vegas. I think we could make a habit of taking the top 2 positions at future races. Other drivers have already nicknamed us ‘The Old One-Two,’ but mostly because our faces are so punchable.”

    5. Kurt Busch: Busch started on the pole for the second consecutive week and had a strong run waylaid when he was collected in a crash with Carl Edwards caused by Matt Kenseth’s spin. Busch salvaged a ninth-place finish and is fifth in the points standings.

    “The wind was blowing something fierce,” Busch said. “There were gusts upwards of 50 miles per hour. In NASCAR, we call that ‘da breeze caution.’ In the NHRA, they call that ‘Gale Force.’ No relation to John.”

    6. Brad Keselowski: Keselowski recovered from a pit road speeding penalty and passed Kyle Busch with five laps to go to win the Kobalt 400 at Las Vegas. Penske Racing teammate Joey Logano took second.

    “It wasn’t easy passing Kyle,” Keselowski said. “I really had to work for it, as Kyle doesn’t concede position easily. If you mention the words ‘push over,’ Kyle won’t respond. Now, if you mention the words ‘pull over,’ Kyle will respond, especially if you’re a state trooper.”

    7. Carl Edwards: After a wreck in practice, Edwards resorted to a backup car and finished 18th at Las Vegas. He sits seventh in the Sprint Cup points standings, 20 out of first.

    “Las Vegas is a favorite stop on the circuit for many drivers,” Edwards said. “We all head to the casinos with high hopes, and leave with lighter wallets. Of course, you can’t talk about ‘blow money’ without mentioning Tim Richmond. He would have loved the track at Las Vegas Motor Speedway, and if given the chance to turn laps there, I bet he would have never left. Tim was always driven to excess.”

    8. Martin Truex Jr.: Truex finished 11th in the Kobalt 400 at Las Vegas. He is ninth in the points standings, 26 out of first.

    “I was docked 15 points for having a roof flap issue for the second-straight race,” Truex said. “We’ve been trying to fool NASCAR for a week. Interestingly enough, they just happened to choose Las Vegas to blow the roof off this scandal.”

    9. Austin Dillon: Dillon posted his second consecutive top-five finish with a fifth in the Kobalt 400. He is ninth in the points standings, 26 out of first.

    “It’s nice to make Richard Childress Racing important again,” Dillon said. “If I’m not mistaken, they made a movie about me called ‘The Relevant.’”

    10. Dale Earnhardt Jr.: Earnhardt finished eighth at Las Vegas, posting his second top 10 of the year.

    “I was in attendance at UFC 196 in Las Vegas on Saturday night,” Earnhardt said. “Believe me, the only times I hear the words ‘tap out’ mentioned more are at a Junior Nation keg party.”