Tag: Clint Bowyer

  • Hot 20 Heading to California, The List of who is Not Hot is an Impressive one

    Hot 20 Heading to California, The List of who is Not Hot is an Impressive one

    It has a week of discovery. We know that Kevin Harvick is off to a great start. We know that Tony Stewart is not. We now know that NASCAR funds an organization run by Al Sharpton. We know that Kurt Busch’s ex is not happy that Kurt is back racing, and I discovered I just do not care. I also know that even if I were not a happily married straight male, I would have no interest in dating either of them. Now, let us move on.

    Hot 20 after Phoenix…

    1. Kevin Harvick – 2 Wins (182 Points)
    AKA The Champ, Double Winner, Happy, The Closer, Harv, Squirrel Killer.

    2. Joey Logano – 1 Win (160 Points)
    At Phoenix he proved he could go to Xfinity but not beyond.

    3. Jimmie Johnson – 1 Win (124 Points)
    In the end, he was more tired than his car as both hit the wall.

    4. Martin Truex Jr. – 155 Points
    Takes crap from nobody…except Junior.

    5. Kasey Kahne – 132 Points
    If this is an organization’s least heralded driver, they all wish they could be so cursed.

    6. A.J. Allmendinger – 127 Points
    Already the winner of an Auto Golf Club event at Fontana.

    7. Dale Earnhardt Jr. – 126 Points
    Super sorry about your motorcoach, Martin…I sh*t you not…but as for the dog…

    8. Ryan Newman – 123 Points
    Top Ten, Top Three, Top Three, why Newman is happy is plain to see.

    9. Brad Keselowski – 116 Points
    The most popular celebrity from Rochester Hills, Michigan…as of last week.

    10. Matt Kenseth – 113 Points
    If only he could get a Daytona do over.

    11. Paul Menard – 112 Points
    Still seeking a Top 10, but Fontana is where dreams have come true for him.

    12. Casey Mears – 111 Points
    Best driver in his organization is the only driver in his organization. He is racing to change that.

    13. Denny Hamlin – 108 Points
    Wants things to be more automatic…such as the transmission.

    14. Aric Almirola – 105 Points
    More lukewarm than hot, but he sure was hot after 2014 finish at Fontana.

    15. Clint Bowyer – 101 Points
    Now, a few words from our favorite driver. “@&$#*#$@!!!”

    16. Greg Biffle – 101 Points
    You picked a fine time to find me, loose wheel.

    17. David Ragan – 98 Points
    Knows Kyle will eventually return, but more worried he might lose ride to Will Ferrell.

    18. Kyle Larson – 98 Points
    Dug a hole at Daytona and Atlanta. Found a ladder out west.

    19. Jamie McMurray – 97 Points
    Ditto for Larson’s team mate.

    20. David Gilliland – 92 Points
    With thanks going to Austin, Carl, Danica, Sam, Jeff, Trevor, Ricky, Kyle, Kurt and Tony.

  • Hot 20 – Hello Phoenix, here’s a song that we’re singin’…come on, get Happy

    Hot 20 – Hello Phoenix, here’s a song that we’re singin’…come on, get Happy

    Two races in with a new rules package, and what positive affects has it had on the racing to date? Well, not much from what I can see, especially side by side dueling up front. Even less down force appears to be the answer, or so we hear from Carl Edwards. Tony Stewart, on the other hand, is no fan of the reduced horsepower or much else. Neither are currently amongst our Top 20. Hell, Stewart isn’t even among our Top 30. Maybe Phoenix might be better for them both. Then again, maybe not.

    Hot 20 after Las Vegas…

    1. Kevin Harvick – 1 Win (134 Points)
    Won last race in Las Vegas, the last three in Phoenix. Damn right he is Happy.

    2. Joey Logano – 1 Win (123 Points)
    Gift caution from NASCAR was helpful in ‘Vegas.

    3. Jimmie Johnson – 1 Win (91 Points)
    Bet the car vibrated even more after hitting the fence.

    4. Dale Earnhardt Jr. – 125 Points
    Likes all the Top Fives, but would love a Top One.

    5. Martin Truex Jr. – 118 Points
    The Rocky Mountain high continues.

    6. A.J. Allmendinger – 100 Points
    His time in Las Vegas just flu by.

    7. Kasey Kahne – 92 Points
    Super sorry about your car, Carl.

    8. Denny Hamlin – 87 Points
    A Top Five, probably; a Top Ten at Phoenix, definitely.

    9. Casey Mears – 87 Points
    Thus far, 2015 has been the year of the one man band.

    10. Matt Kenseth – 85 Points
    His advice helped make Jimmie a champion…at assembling kid’s toys.

    11. Greg Biffle – 84 Points
    Has the answer to improve ride this week. Just Cheez-It!

    12. Paul Menard – 82 Points
    Tied with teammate for the best at RCR after three races.

    13. Ryan Newman – 82 Points
    Best damn neckless driver in NASCAR.

    14. Clint Bowyer – 81 Points
    Says secret to Phoenix is not to spin around. I think I just bit my tongue.

    15. Aric Almirola – 80 Points
    Sponsor Eckrich are the makers of naturally hardwood smoked sausage. I think I’m in love.

    16. David Gilliland – 77 Points
    Front Row appears ready to make the move from participant to competitor.

    17. Brad Keselowski – 77 Points
    I’m not a fan. As he doesn’t know I even exist, he’s probably good with that.

    18. Sam Hornish Jr. – 75 Points
    Open wheel success often does not equate into fendered success. Maybe this time.

    19. David Ragan – 75 Points
    Not quite up to Kyle-like standards yet, but neither are Carl or Tony.

    20. Danica Patrick – 68 Points
    Still here, thanks to Regan Smith registered in Xfinity, not Cup series.

  • Hot 20 – Joey and Jimmie Lead the Way West to Las Vegas for Some Action…and Some Warmth

    Hot 20 – Joey and Jimmie Lead the Way West to Las Vegas for Some Action…and Some Warmth

    While Daytona was good, Atlanta was tolerable. I wonder, if I was a transient type flipping channels, how long would I have lingered on the action beaming in from Georgia? A decade ago, the sport and its sponsors marketed the heck out of their product, but not so much anymore. Now NASCAR is seeking a new title sponsor for the Cup series to, in a couple of years, cough up $1 billion over a 10 year span? It is certainly nice to dream.

    A Daytona 500 win is nice. A Southern 500 victory is okay. A World 600 triumph is cool. A Brickyard 400 is lovely. However, just imagine the life long memories one will have just racing in the SpongeBob SquarePants 400 in Kansas. Just imagine. Good grief.

    News flash…except for the Daytona 500, most fans could not care less about qualifying. Check out the television ratings or, better yet, all those empty seats in the grandstands. Nobody cares. Put all those guaranteed a spot on the grid based on points, then have all those not locked in go through tech inspection first before they hit the track to qualify. As for the rest, take your time checking them all out. Take the whole day if you need it. That would eliminate another embarrassment like they had in Atlanta. Would that not be a good thing?

    Being good and lucky can go a long way in keeping one among our top drivers in the rankings. Ryan Newman, Brad Keselowski, Jeff Gordon and Tony Stewart are good drivers. They just have not been very lucky thus far in 2015.

    Among those for whom things have gone better….

    Hot 20 after Atlanta

    1. Joey Logano – 1 Win – 88 Points
    A new bride, a winning ride, Joey’s horizons have opened wide.

    2. Jimmie Johnson – 1 Win – 87 Points
    The early favorite to win a seventh championship is…

    3. Kevin Harvick – 86 Points
    Still wearing that bridesmaid fire suit.

    4. Dale Earnhardt Jr – 84 Points
    I am reminded by my wife, Amy, that Las Vegas has chapels. What’s with that?

    5. Martin Truex Jr – 75 Points
    So far he has all his ducks and furniture in a row.

    6. Casey Mears – 68 Points
    It appears there are a lot more numbers unluckier than 13.

    7. Kasey Kahne – 65 Points
    Discovered that Atlanta in March is not Atlanta in late August.

    8. A.J. Allmendinger – 62 Points
    Better Than Bouillon, better than most.

    9. Aric Almirola – 62 Points
    Yet another Cup regular taking an Xfinity seat in Las Vegas.

    10. Clint Bowyer – 58 Points
    May have lost a cylinder, but he gained a Stenhouse…then a Biffle.

    11. David Gilliland – 56 Points
    At 38, I was watching my sons being born while this guy is watching his son race.

    12. Sam Hornish Jr – 55 Points
    2014 ‘Vegas Xfinity winner not in Saturday’s race…four other Cup guys will be.

    13. Carl Edwards – 54 Points
    If he aged 20 years, shrunk 6 inches, gained 50 pounds, and melted, I could be his body double.

    14. Greg Biffle – 54 Points
    And THAT is how a bad day can get worse.

    15. David Ragan – 53 Points
    Take your time, Kyle. Take your time.

    16. Danica Patrick – 51 Points
    No. 1 woman, No. 2 SHR driver

    17. Paul Menard – 50 Points
    If Menard’s sold heated hunting blinds, they could have made a mint last week.

    18. Matt Kenseth – 49 Points
    Qualifying means more to him than it does to us. Let him roll out in 18th, with Joey on the pole.

    19. Denny Hamlin – 48 Points
    Twice this week his vehicle gets broadsided…once when he was awake.

    20. Michael Annett – 47 Points
    Don’t expect to see him here next week.

  • Hot 20 – Weights and measurements not a good Jeopardy category for Logano

    Hot 20 – Weights and measurements not a good Jeopardy category for Logano

    Three of last Sunday’s top drivers failed to make the cut simply due to not being registered to run for Cup points. Regan Smith, Matt Crafton, and Johnny Sauter all were within the Top Twenty, but their focus is on one of the other two national series. Smith will be kept busy, though, as he sits in for the suspended Kurt Busch. Considering the ride was especially created by Gene Haas for Busch to wear his company colors, one has to wonder about the long-term fate of the No. 41.

    What is 3100 pounds yet weighs in at under a ton? It appears Logano did not just have the winning ride at Daytona…he had a magic car.

    The Hot 20 after Daytona

    1. Joey Logano – 1 Win – 47 Points
    Daytona 500 winner provided a “ton” of laughs on Letterman.

    2. Kevin Harvick – 42 Points
    If only it were the Daytona 505, all green, all of the time.

    3. Dale Earnhardt Jr – 42 Points
    A late change to the slow lane proved costly.

    4. Denny Hamlin – 41 Points
    Got yelled at so much, he thought he was Stenhouse for a moment.

    5. Jimmie Johnson – 40 Points
    Car was fast at Daytona, his pit crew even faster.

    6. Casey Mears – 39 Points
    Car just got better and better thanks to a Bootie call…or two.

    7. Clint Bowyer – 37 Points
    If you cannot be the man to beat the man, be the man who makes the man unbeatable.

    8. Martin Truex Jr – 37 Points
    Last year he was no Kurt Busch, this year that is a good thing.

    9. Greg Biffle – 35 Points
    This season you can discover “What’s Buggin’ Biffle.”

    10. Kasey Kahne – 35 Points
    Won just once in 2014, but Atlanta was the place.

    11. David Gi_ _i _ and – 33 Points
    I’ll take an “L”, Pat Sajack.

    12. Michael Annett – 32 Points
    14th on Thursday, 13th on Sunday, a Top Ten in Atlanta?

    13. Sam Hornish Jr – 32 Points
    Welcome back to Cup, Sam.

    14. Austin Dillon – 30 Points
    The No. 3 now driven by the man in the black hat.

    15. Aric Almirola – 29 Points
    Somewhere there has to be someone named Eric Elmirola.

    16. David Ragan – 27 Points
    Loaned out by Front Row to sit in for Kyle at Gibbs.

    17. A.J. Allmendinger – 25 Points
    No sponsor, no Sprint Unlimited.

    18. Danica Patrick – 23 Points
    Kurt sits, Tony wrecks, and Danica gets a written warning. Thank God for Harv.

    19. Carl Edwards – 22 Points
    Is there a doctor in the house? Why yes, yes there is.

    20. Cole Whitt – 22 Points
    Good funding stems from good finishes. I hope this helps.

  • Surprising and Not Surprising: Daytona 500

    Surprising and Not Surprising: Daytona 500

    After an incredibly eventful Speedweeks, here is what was surprising and not surprising from NASCAR’s first and one of the biggest races of the season, the 57th annual Daytona 500.

    Surprising: The various Daytona 500 race watching venues were definitely most surprising, from Kurt Busch watching from who knows where after his indefinite suspension due to domestic violence allegations to his brother Kyle watching from a hospital bed after breaking his leg and foot in an Xfinity race crash.

    The other two unusual seats for the Daytona 500 were for Regan Smith and Matt Crafton, who substituted for the Busch brothers, in the No. 41 and No. 18 race cars respectively. Smith finished 16th for Stewart Haas Racing and Crafton finished 19th for Joe Gibbs Racing.

    “Started off really tight with the race car and never got it turning,” Smith said from his race seat. “I don’t know, kind of frustrating. I actually anticipated a much better day and nothing much more to show for it. Those guys did a nice job all weekend but we just plowed through the corners.”

    “It was a learning curve,” Crafton said from his unexpected race seat. “The first half we just rode around and tried to learn, learn, learn.”

    “It was very, very tough, but that’s what we get paid to do – drive race cars and figure it out quick. I felt fine, just my back from being in that seat hurt. Under yellows I would loosen up the belts as much as I could and just try to bow myself up in the seat just because my back was just cramped so unbelievable bad.”

    “I should have had a little better finish there at the end, but it is what it is.”

    Not Surprising: There was a visual dichotomy, from Jeff Gordon greeting the fans with his two children at the start of the race to the 24 year old Joe Logano embracing his father in Victory Lane, truly signifying the passing of the torch in the sport.

    This was Jeff Gordon’s last Daytona 500 and Joey Logano’s first ever win in the Great American race.

    “Congratulations to Joey Logano,” Jeff Gordon said after finishing 33rd in a late race crash. “That moment you saw there with his dad that is what it’s all about. These types of moments, such a big race it means so much to all of us. You want to share that with the people that you are closest to that have been there along the way.”

    “Congratulations to him and I don’t know what else to say other than I enjoyed it.”

    Surprising: Even great plate racers can make a mistake and yet still manage finish in the third spot and that is just what the driver of the No. 88 Nationwide Chevrolet did. Even with the miscue, Dale Earnhardt Jr. managed his 18th top-10 finish in 31 races at Daytona International Speedway.

    “I made a really bad decision on that restart with 19 to go,” Junior said. “I made a poor choice and you can’t afford to do that. I got shuffled back and lost a ton of spots.”

    “I had one of the best cars out there and that gave me a ton of confidence to keep digging. We were able to get back up to third place. It’s really disappointing because the Nationwide team gave me the best car and we should have won the race.”

    “It was a fun day out there. Just came up short and a little disappointed about that.”

    Not Surprising: With the exception of Kevin Harvick, who finished in the runner up position, Stewart Haas Racing continued its struggles of the previous year, with Kurt Busch suspended, Tony Stewart hitting the wall and finishing 42nd and Danica Patrick being a non-factor, finishing 21st.

    Stewart wrecked his No. 14 Chevrolet on Lap 41 when his car turned right, slammed into the wall, and completely wrecked his steering. This extended Stewart’s losing streak to seventeen races.

    “I take the blame for that one,” Smoke said. “One-hundred percent my fault.”

    Surprising: After winning one of the Duel races and starting at the front of the pack alongside teammate Jeff Gordon, six-time champion Jimmie Johnson saw the race win slip through his fingers in the final restarts. Johnson finished fifth in his No. 48 Lowe’s Chevrolet instead.

    “With about 10 to go, I thought we were in position to win the Daytona 500,” Johnson said. “I wish we were in Victory Lane right now but with plate racing you honestly have no clue what’s going to happen.”

    “Really the last two restarts just didn’t work for us. I was ahead of one lane and the guys behind us just weren’t bumper to bumper. Then on the last restart the same thing on the bottom. So it is just the way things happened.”

    “A fun day here in Daytona, of course I wish I was in Victory Lane right now, but we had a very strong day nothing to be embarrassed about.”

    Not Surprising: At restrictor plate tracks, where anything can happen and anyone can win, it was not surprising that two single-car race teams had great runs and emerged from Daytona with great optimism for the season ahead.

    “It was a good run and has been a good 10 days down here,” Martin Truex, driver of the No. 78 Furniture Row/Visser Precision Chevrolet said after finishing eighth. “I had a lot of fun today. We had to go to the back a few times but our car was strong enough to drive up through there.I thought we had a shot there until that last caution. I got in the wrong lane on the last restart and got held up a little bit. All in all, we came out of here last year with a 43rd and to come out of here today with an eighth-place and top-10 is a good start to the year for us.”

    “It was a really solid day,” Casey Mears said after finishing sixth, his fourth top-10 in the past five restrictor-plate races. “We have run up front at a lot of these things now or towards the front. We are getting a little bit greedier. We definitely want to win one of these races. I think our standards are getting a lot higher. From going from possibly not being in the show to finishing sixth that is definitely a good spread and a good way to start the season for sure.”

    Surprising: In spite of being dubbed a good pusher by race winner Logano, Clint Bowyer was surprisingly ticked after his seventh place finish in the Great American race.

    “I don’t know what I could have done different,” the driver of the No. 15 5-Hour Energy Toyota said. “I have to go back and look at it. Just you’re damned if you do and damned if you don’t there. I had them stacked up – some pretty good cars there behind me and I knew they were going to shuffle me out. I was kind of the lone wolf in the whole group other than the 22 (Joey Logano) and he happened to be leading.”

    “Once they got me in the middle, three-wide, I just didn’t really have – I was stuck and screwed.”

    Not Surprising: Denny Hamlin in his No. 11 FedEx Express Toyota for Joe Gibbs Racing was the highest finishing Toyota, scoring the 4th spot.

    “You know, you’ve got a 50-50 shot of winning it when you’re on the green-white-checkered on the front row,” Hamlin said. “Our line didn’t form up and it’s typically whatever line gets organized the most usually goes forward on these green-white checkers and we just – inside line didn’t get going.”

    “We came up a little short again.”

    Surprising: In spite of feeling helpless, Greg Biffle still managed a top-10 finish for Roush Fenway Racing, a great accomplishment after a disappointing 2014 season.

    “It’s a little disappointing because we want to win the Daytona 500,” the driver of the No. 16 Ortho Ford said. “It just seemed like our car didn’t quite have the speed it needed. I really struggled to try and stay in line and handling was a huge issue. My car was so tight. There was nothing I could do at the end because I was totally boxed in.”

    Not Surprising: Forget girls that just want to have fun, boys wanted to have fun as well and Carl Edwards did just that, in spite of finishing 24th with his new Joe Gibbs Racing No. 19 ARRIS Toyota team.

    “Actually I had a very strong car and I had a lot of fun,” Edwards said. “I just didn’t pick the right lines there at the end – it just didn’t work. We got far enough back that it made it kind of hard to get back to the front. I had fun – I really did.”

    “Had a great car and we didn’t tear anything up – just had a good time.”

  • The Final Word – A Lack of Love at Daytona

    The Final Word – A Lack of Love at Daytona

    We have just gotten the season underway, and already we got guys torqued. I mean, some got downright ornery.

    Take the Sprint Unlimited race last Saturday. Joey Logano seemed just a flying fist of fate away from being all gums, no teeth. In fact, the best save of the day came when one of his crew grabbed his driver by the scruff of the neck and dragged his butt out of harm’s way. Down to the final couple of laps, Logano was driving up Kevin Harvick’s exhaust when that battered car tagged the wall. That was enough for a post-race discussion, but when Joey decided to stick his mug into Harv’s face to drop the f-bomb, he was suddenly hauled away. In doing so, he avoided a possible sock-it-to-me moment.

    Oh, by the way, Matt Kenseth won the race, ahead of Martin Truex Jr. and Carl Edwards.

    The next day, NASCAR’s wacky method to determine the front row for the Daytona 500 came into play. Instead of just finding out who is the fastest, we now include cars actually racing during qualifying, blocking to maintain position and to interfere with another’s time, along with jockeying on pit road as to who goes when to take advantage of what. The result is a nonsensical farce just to provide some kind of show for the fans. If you do not believe me, ask Clint Bowyer. He ignored his crew chief’s pleas to leave his smoking wreck to yell at Reed Sorenson, who had tried to block, which caused one hell of a mess. By being taken out early, the best Bowyer could do was record the 41st best qualifying time.

    Jeff Gordon and Jimmie Johnson survived it all to take the front row spots in the Daytona 500. On Thursday, the duels will decided the other 41 positions.

    So, Bowyer is not happy. After getting out of his car to jaw with Sorenson, a rule violation, he could wind up even unhappier. The fact he called the new qualifying format idiotic, saying “It’s NASCAR’s fault for putting us out here in the middle of this crap for nothing,” it is doubtful he has endeared himself to the powers that be. However, among the drivers, he is not alone in that observation.

    If Kurt Busch’s ex is some kind of trained assassin, she must truly suck at her job if Busch can assault her, and live. The judge must think so, too, according to his ruling, ordering that Kurt stay away from her. If she is fearful of mean ole Kurt, she must be scared crapless of Jimmy Spencer.

    Having to go home is a fear for a few on Thursday, but with Carl Edwards securing a spot last weekend in his new entry, all the familiar faces are locked in. Almost. 13 are in, with Jeff Gordon and Jimmie Johnson on the front row. Aric Almirola, Ricky Stenhouse Jr., Edwards and Jamie McMurray are in through their qualifying times. Kevin Harvick, Ryan Newman, Denny Hamlin and Joey Logano get a pass from their 2014 owner’s points, with Tony Stewart in as the most current past champion.

    On Thursday, a Top 15 finish in one of the duel races locks a driver into the Daytona 500. If that driver already has a secure spot, the pass goes to the driver with the most 2014 owner’s points not already in the field. The six with the fewest owner’s points need to race their way in Thursday, with Ryan Blaney, Reed Sorenson, Michael Annett, Cole Whitt, Justin Marks and Ron Hornaday currently on the outside looking in. Those they are hoping to leap over include, in order, Michael McDowell, currently on the bubble, Johnny Sauter, Ty Dillon, Mike Wallace, Bobby Labonte, with Josh Wise the most secure of the bunch. Of course, if any of those bubble boys finish 15th or better in their Thursday race, they lock themselves into Sunday’s field. Simply put, for those high in 2014 owner’s points, it is less crucial to do well on Thursday. For those who are not, Thursday could mean everything.

    Fans of Dale Earnhardt Jr have to love the fact that the next available spot would go to their guy, who has the best total in 2014 owner’s points among those not yet locked in. There is a chance, a very small chance, that Junior could fail to make the field. For that to happen, he would need to miss the Top 15 in his duel, as well as see every one of the 13 drivers currently locked in to finish their race 16th or worse. If just one of them finishes 15th or better, Earnhardt is in, and his fans have to love that.

    Thursday they run the duels, Friday the trucks (except in Canada), Saturday the junior league, and Sunday it is the Daytona 500. What is not to love?

  • 2015 NASCAR Predictions

    2015 NASCAR Predictions

    *Kurt Busch debuts the No. 007 car at Daytona and executes a last-lap pass of Denny Hamlin to win the 500. In post-race interviews, Busch goes on a 10 minute rant and bad-mouths the entire NASCAR community, earning him the nickname “American Sniper.”

    Busch then fires his agent on the spot and when asked, refuses to divulge the name of his new representative, instead saying he/she is a “secret agent.” Busch also decrees that his spotter should be called a “spy” for the rest of the season.

    *Clint Bowyer, in the No. 15 5-Hour Energy Chevrolet, leads with two laps to go at Richmond on April 25, but falls asleep and crashes out, finishing 39th. The following week at Talladega, Bowyer’s car sports a brand new, one-race sponsor, ‘8 Hours Sleep.’

    Bowyer makes the Chase For The Cup and wins the Chase opener at Chicagoland, but fades afterwards, with no finishes in the top 10 in the remaining nine races.

    *Tony Stewart throws a punch at Brad Keselowski after the two tangle at Sonoma, leading NBC to introduce the “Fist Cam” the following week at Daytona on July 5. The “Fist Cam” is a small camera deployed in one of two places: either on the fist of the driver deemed most likely to take a swing at someone, or on Keselowski’s face.

    The “Fist Cam” delivers its best footage at Martinsville on November 1 when Danica Patrick throws a haymaker at A.J. Allmendinger, leading to the ESPN.com headline, “The Swinger And The ‘Dinger.”

    *At Kid Rock’s pre-race concert at Daytona, the “American Bad Ass” performs his new single “First Kiss,” then urges fans in attendance to kiss the person to their right. An all-out brawl ensues, and NASCAR waves a giant red flag, resulting in a three-hour delay to the start of the race.

    *Kevin Harvick’s quest to repeat as Sprint Cup champion gains the unofficial tag line “This Bud’s For 2” in a contest on Twitter sponsored by Harvick’s wife Delana. “This Bud’s For 2” beats out a host of other slogans, such as “Two-Timing S.O.B.” submitted by a Brooke Gordon, “Make It Reign,” the Al Unser, Jr.-inspired “I’ll Have A Double,” and “Two Knock-Knock-Knocks On Kevin’s Door.”

    Harvick qualifies for the Chase For The Cup, but slumps after a shove from Brad Keselowski sends him over the edge, of the stage at a Jason Aldean concert at Spartanburg, South Carolina in September.

    *Carl Edwards gives Joe Gibbs Racing its first win of the season by winning at Texas on April 6. Edwards performs his signature back flip, but flubs the landing and sprains his left ankle. Edwards misses two races recovering, and to add insult to injury, Aflac denies his claim for worker’s compensation, saying the accident did not take place on the job.

    *TMZ posts some candid photos of NASCAR CEO Brian France frolicking in the raw on the beaches of Saint-Tropez. The photos, titled “The ‘South’ Of France In The South Of France,” create a stir in NASCAR circles and embarrassment to the France family.

    France files a suit, claiming mistaken identity, and TMZ is forced to submit an apology, which they do on their website, where they say “they sincerely regret mistaking France for some other pudgy white man.”

    The Charlotte Observer comically joins the paparazzi act when they post a scandalous headline reading “France Caught Topless!” along with a photograph of France cruising in his vintage 1955 Thunderbird convertible.

    *Dale Earnhardt Jr. faces a misdemeanor drug charge at a traffic stop after offering a lift to a few stranded, good-for-nothing Earnhardt fans in Daytona Beach. At his court date in April, an understanding judge throws out the charge, famously quipping that ‘there’s no way ‘Little E’ is going to jail for a ‘little E.’”

    Earnhardt wins three races, including May’s race in Charlotte, and later stars in NASCAR’s most entertaining commercial, in which Jeff Bridges pilfers a Mountain Dew from Junior’s cooler, to which Junior replies, “Dude, The Dew?”

    *At Loudon on July 19, Bill Belichick of the New England Patriots serves as the race’s Grand Marshal, blandly ordering the drivers to start their engines. After the race, Belichick is impounded, later becoming the first Grand Marshal in NASCAR history to fail inspection.

    *In May, Kyle Busch’s wife Samantha signs a modeling contract with Venus Swimwear. Coupled with Kyle’s No. 18 sponsorship, the couple becomes the living embodiment of the “Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus” adage.

    Busch starts the Chase For The Cup in fourth place, but his title hopes are dashed when he wrecks in “The Big One” at Talladega in October.

    *Jeff Gordon dominates at Indianapolis, leading 127 laps en route to his sixth Brickyard 400 victory. In Victory Lane, an ecstatic Gordon douses his crew with a new Brickyard staple, carbonated milk, from the good people at Gordon’s longtime sponsor of Pepsi.

    The win propels Gordon to two more wins prior to the Chase, and he starts atop the points standings at Chicagoland. Gordon wraps up the title at Homestead, out-dueling Jimmie Johnson, Denny Hamlin, and Brad Keselowski.

    *Kyle Larson wins his first Sprint Cup race, taking the No. 42 Target Chevrolet to victory at Pocono on June 7. Larson is later named cover boy for the 2016 release of NASCAR’s video game, which ultimately is pulled from the shelf after a six-year-old gamer finds hidden footage which features former NASCAR driver Jeremy Mayfield racing around the fictional town of Tweaksville trying to procure meth.

    The game finds new life when Rockstar Games, the makers of Grand Theft Auto, expresses an interest in the Mayfield-Tweakville plot line and decides to make it the premise of their “Grand Theft Auto VII: Cranked” game.

    *On August 8, Brad Keselowski’s girlfriend Paige White gives birth to the couple’s first child, a son named “Roger” after Roger Penske, with the middle name “Edward” after a character in a series of vampire novels. The birth certificate is notarized before either parent recognizes the child’s initials to be “R.E.K.”

    **This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places and incidents either are products of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously.**

  • The Final Word – The Countdown to the New Season is Down to Single Digits

    The Final Word – The Countdown to the New Season is Down to Single Digits

    The countdown has begun to the start of a new season, with less than ten days to go before the Sprint Unlimited exhibition race at Daytona. A new campaign, some new teams and some new expectations.

    Stewart-Haas had a year of mixed results in 2014. Kevin Harvick has his crown, but I think if you claim one championship you might like to claim another. Hey, it works for Jimmie Johnson. His boss, Tony Stewart, has three, but just having a year without the drama would be a Godsend. Kurt Busch won a race, which placed him in the Chase, but he actually was not even as good as Austin Dillon, Paul Menard, or Brian Vickers over the course of the season. He needs to show this year as to why Gene Haas spent the big money to bring him into the stable.

    Danica Patrick must do well. I hear that, I believe that should be so, but I am not so convinced the bloom is off the rose just yet. With the big money funding, a solid organization behind her, and the media attention she gets, I do not believe she needs to be anything more than the novelty she already is. Being the best female driver in NASCAR history might still be enough, but results better than those of, say, Ricky Stenhouse Jr. should be expected as the soon-to-be 33-year-old embarks on her third full season.

    Kasey Kahne turns 35 this spring and probably is considered the little guy at the big boys table at Hendrick by some. Seventeen wins over his career, including six in the past four years, argues otherwise. The only reason Kahne is not more front and center is due to having teammates who have either won the title multiple times or who happens to be the sports most popular performer. Even Harvick and Stewart would be considered fourth on the depth chart on this outfit.

    Dale Earnhardt Jr. has a new crew chief. After matching his win totals of the previous nine seasons in 2014, Junior has Greg Ives on the box after Steve Letarte left for the broadcast booth. The 40-year-old needs to repeat what he did in 2014, as 23 Cup wins, 23 more on the junior circuit, two Daytona 500 wins, five Talladega celebrations, and a dozen straight Most Popular Driver of the Year nods might not be enough to make the Hall…in 2030.

    2015 marks the final full-time season for Jeff Gordon. You better enjoy it, as he will not be eligible for the Hall of Fame until at least 2023. That would mark 30 years since he began his career, which is one qualification. If he has to wait until he is 55, that would be in 2027. Gone is the former three years in retirement qualification, as of this year. This alone causes me to expect more tinkering to the qualification rules between now and then.

    Trevor Bayne has a Daytona 500 to his credit, and not much else over the past four seasons. He leaves his part-time job driving for the Wood Brothers to a full-time gig with Roush Fenway. Bayne turns 24 the day they run the Duels at Daytona, with hopes of taking Mark Martin’s old No. 6 ride back to the front. The question is, does he and teammates Greg Biffle and Stenhouse represent an organization on the rise?

    Bayne takes the place of Carl Edwards, who hopes to realize that first championship with his move. Twice he has been the season’s runner-up, as the 35-year-old seeks some greener grass on Joe Gibbs’ side of the fence. Denny Hamlin, Kyle Busch and Matt Kenseth are a pretty good trio of teammates to roll with. Without question, one of NASCAR’s Big Three organizations, along with Hendrick and Stewart-Haas.

    Or should that be Big Four? Penske is just a two car outfit, but with Brad Keselowski and Joey Logano on the reins their wagons can make something happen. Both finished amongst the season’s Top Five, combining for 11 victories last year. Yes, Big Four is more like it.

    Is there anyone to make it a Big Five? Childress has youth in Austin Dillon, with brother Ty waiting in the wings. They have experience in Ryan Newman, who was just one point behind Harvick when the smoke cleared at Homestead last November. Then there is Paul Menard, who has yet to crack the season’s Top Fifteen in his career, the past four with Childress. On the positive side, he does come complete with a sponsor. Is that enough?

    Michael Waltrip’s crew once was considered a top flight team, until the wings came off. Martin Truex Jr. found himself with Furniture Row, where their gains with Kurt Busch disappeared with his replacement. Brian Vickers is on the mend with a heart issue, so he will require a temporary replacement. As for Clint Bowyer, Captain Skid dropped to 19th in the season rankings after being the runner-up in 2012 and seventh the season after. Bowyer is locked in for another three years, but will they be the best of times, or the worst of times?

    Ganassi has 22-year old Kyle Larson, who just missed the Chase in his rookie season, along with veteran Jamie McMurray. Am I the only one who thinks this team should have been, and should be, more successful? McMurray has only seven wins over 13 seasons, but where he won is impressive. Two came at Daytona, including the 500 in 2010, two at Talladega, two at Charlotte, as well as the Brickyard 400. Not enough to make one a contender, but certainly one who gets remembered.

    You cannot forget Petty, if only for the guy the outfit is named after. Aric Almirola is back, after a single win got him into the Chase…for three races. That victory was just one of five the team has had over six seasons. Coming in is Sam Hornish Jr. who, in 239 NASCAR races in all three top series, has just three wins on the junior circuit. Two of them came over his last 39 races run there over the past two campaigns. Let us not forget his 19 IndyCar wins between 2001 and 2007, including the 2006 Indianapolis 500. Does that get one excited? Sadly, not much.

    Maybe the biggest move comes off the track. Gone is ESPN. Thank God Almighty. FOX returns, with NBC taking over the second half of the season. Mike Joy is a good lap-by-lap announcer, while Rick Allen is even better. While he may have a few detractors, I enjoy Darrell Waltrip, along with Larry McReynolds, providing color analysis. I think Steve Letarte will be even better though, surprisingly, Jeff Burton may be the weak link until he smooths out his delivery. Still, he has a few months to work on it. All are infinitely better than the ESPN crew, and that works for me.

    It all begins on Saturday, February 14th with the Sprint Unlimited from Daytona on FOX. Dare I say it, “Boogity, Boogity, Boogity.” Sorry, I just could not resist.

  • Hot 20 – The Elimination Format was Good, but an Actual Five Race Post-Season Even Better

    Hot 20 – The Elimination Format was Good, but an Actual Five Race Post-Season Even Better

    Over the course of the season, Jeff Gordon was the top driver of 2014. However, NASCAR has not determined its champion using the results of the entire campaign for more than a decade. They want excitement, drama, unpredictability. They want what the other big boy sports have, and when they waved the flag to start the season finale, four drivers had an even shot to claim the prize. Unfortunately, 39 we knew who would not, also were out there.

    Regular season and then the playoffs. That is what you get with the NFL, MLB, NBA, and the NHL. You play to entertain and to position yourself into earning a shot at the championship. Since 2004, NASCAR has also done this, except for allowing the non-contenders to remain out on the field of play getting in the way of those who matter.

    What if NASCAR had a real playoff? It has been brought up that the season is too long, that there needs to be a reduction in the schedule. Realistically, there is no way anyone is going to say adios to the big dollars that comes with putting on a 36 event schedule, not including the extras at Daytona in February and Charlotte in May. However, NASCAR could shorten its regular season to 31 races, as it was in some seasons in the 1970s, 80s, and 90s, for its 43 car fields. Then they could reduce it to the top 20 drivers and teams over the course of a five-race championship playoff, resetting the points to zero for the post-season, and allowing the best of the best to settle it among themselves.

    The point system would remain the same, other than instead of “win and you are in,” winners are given credit for their victory with 25 bonus points, instead of the three they are presently given. In that way, a race winner would claim as much as 70 points, compared to the 43 for the runner-up. During the playoffs, points would range from one to 20, with the winner’s bonus reduced to three points in recognition of the smaller field and the impact of a win over the shorter “season.” So, in the playoffs, a race win could earn up to 25 points, compared to the runner-up’s 20. Yes, a driver sweeping the first four races of the playoff would have enough to win the title before they run Homestead but, let’s be honest, if they were that dominant they should win it.

    The playoff teams would be expanded from 16 to 20, with those not making the cut sent home, their season over. Considering there are really no more than 25 quality entries in any given race, all we would be doing is exchanging quantity for quality, with Charlotte being the final race of the regular season.

    Using 2014 as a guide for illustrative purposes, neither A.J. Allmendinger or Aric Almirola would make the playoffs as, despite each picking up a win, neither would have made it on points in our Top 20. Along with the other 14 Chasers from this season we would have included Austin Dillon, Brian Vickers, Clint Bowyer, Jamie McMurray, Kyle Larson and Paul Menard. A pretty fair exchange.

    TALLADEGA

    Twenty drivers hit the track all even as the opening round of the playoff Chase begins on the super speedway in Alabama. Kyle Busch once again got snake bit come go time when he gets caught up in a crash that left him dead last. Of course, those cars that got him in reality would have been home watching television under this format. Meanwhile, Brad Keselowski responded from the less than loving embraces Denny Hamlin wanted to put on him at Charlotte, and Matt Kenseth did, by claiming 24 points in winning at Talladega. Kenseth, ironically enough, pushed Bad Brad to the front and finished just behind him on the track.

    1 Brad Keselowski 24 Pts
    2 Matt Kenseth 20
    3 Ryan Newman 18
    4 Clint Bowyer 18
    5 Kevin Harvick 16
    6 Kurt Busch 16
    7 Joey Logano 14
    8 Kasey Kahne 14
    9 Austin Dillon 12
    10 Denny Hamlin 11
    11 Kyle Larson 11
    12 Jimmie Johnson 9
    13 Brian Vickers 9
    14 Carl Edwards 8
    15 Greg Biffle 7
    16 Jeff Gordon 6
    17 Dale Earnhardt, Jr. 5
    18 Jamie McMurray 4
    19 Paul Menard 2
    20 Kyle Busch 1

    MARTINSVILLE

    Keselowski takes his four point lead over Kenseth to Martinsville, where more than a few need to come up big to make amends for the previous week. After finishing 17th at Talladega, Dale Earnhardt Jr. was among them. In winning, he added 24 points to the five he picked up the previous week, but he remained deep in the standings. Kenseth, Bowyer, Ryan Newman and Joey Logano all had a second strong playoff result, Keselowski was 16th to drop like a stone, as Jimmie Johnson slipped well out of contention with yet another less than stellar result.

    1 Matt Kenseth 37 Pts
    2 Ryan Newman 36
    3 Clint Bowyer 34
    4 Joey Logano 32
    6 Dale Earnhardt, Jr. 29
    5 Brad Keselowski 29
    8 Jeff Gordon 26
    7 Denny Hamlin 26
    9 Austin Dillon 24
    11 Kurt Busch 19
    10 Kevin Harvick 19
    12 Greg Biffle 18
    13 Kyle Larson 17
    15 Carl Edwards 16
    14 Brian Vickers 16
    16 Kasey Kahne 15
    18 Kyle Busch 14
    17 Jamie McMurray 14
    19 Jimmie Johnson 13
    20 Paul Menard 12

    TEXAS

    Kenseth heads into the Lone Star State a point ahead of Newman, with Bowyer three away. When it came time to fire off the six guns, Gordon was seeking his own version of High Noon after Keselowski’s bid to take the lead left him with a cut tire and a good day that went for nought. To make matters worse, his rival returned atop the leader board. Johnson’s win at least moved him back into territory where he might yet see light at the end of the long tunnel he is trying to emerge from.

    1 Brad Keselowski 48 Pts
    2 Dale Earnhardt, Jr. 44
    3 Ryan Newman 44
    4 Matt Kenseth 42
    5 Joey Logano 42
    6 Kevin Harvick 39
    7 Denny Hamlin 38
    8 Jimmie Johnson 38
    9 Clint Bowyer 37
    10 Kurt Busch 33
    11 Kyle Larson 31
    12 Kyle Busch 31
    13 Jamie McMurray 30
    14 Jeff Gordon 29
    15 Austin Dillon 29
    16 Carl Edwards 28
    17 Greg Biffle 27
    18 Brian Vickers 23
    19 Paul Menard 18
    20 Kasey Kahne 16

    PHOENIX

    After the events at Texas, Keselowski takes a four point lead over both Earnhardt and Newman heading out to the desert, with Gordon’s dreams pretty much shattered by that torn tire. Kevin Harvick came up with a race most can only dream about, absolutely dominating most laps and pretty much all of the re-starts to win. He now sits just behind Keselowski, who finished fourth behind Gordon and Kenseth. Bowyer was dead last on this day, taking him from contender to pretender, while Johnson erased even a glimmer of good tidings by finishing 19th.

    1 Brad Keselowski 65 Pts
    2 Kevin Harvick 64
    3 Matt Kenseth 60
    4 Dale Earnhardt, Jr. 58
    5 Joey Logano 58
    6 Ryan Newman 55
    7 Denny Hamlin 55
    8 Jeff Gordon 48
    9 Kurt Busch 47
    10 Kyle Larson 41
    11 Jimmie Johnson 40
    12 Jamie McMurray 39
    13 Greg Biffle 39
    14 Clint Bowyer 38
    15 Carl Edwards 36
    16 Kyle Busch 35
    17 Austin Dillon 32
    18 Brian Vickers 30
    19 Paul Menard 23
    20 Kasey Kahne 22

    HOMESTEAD

    Heading for Miami and the final showdown, 10 drivers remain mathematically alive with seven still with a legitimate shot at the title. Kenseth and Harvick, in fact, could claim it with a victory, no matter what Keselowski did. That is just what Happy Harvick did, leaving Keselowski’s third place result at Homestead just not good enough. A five race playoff, only 20 cars on the track and, in this scenario, the same Sprint Cup champion as provided by the elimination series.

    1 Kevin Harvick 88 Pts
    2 Brad Keselowski 83
    3 Matt Kenseth 75
    4 Ryan Newman 74
    5 Denny Hamlin 70
    6 Dale Earnhardt, Jr. 65
    7 Joey Logano 64
    8 Jeff Gordon 61
    9 Kurt Busch 58
    10 Jamie McMurray 55
    11 Jimmie Johnson 52
    12 Clint Bowyer 51
    13 Kyle Larson 49
    14 Paul Menard 40
    15 Greg Biffle 40
    16 Carl Edwards 39
    17 Kyle Busch 37
    18 Austin Dillon 36
    19 Brian Vickers 35
    20 Kasey Kahne 31

  • NASCAR Top-10 Power Rankings: Homestead

    NASCAR Top-10 Power Rankings: Homestead

    Note: The quotes in this article are fictional.

    1. Kevin Harvick: Harvick’s four-tire pit stop on a caution with 20 laps to go keyed his victory at Homestead, giving him the Sprint Cup championship. Harvick held off Ryan Newman to claim his first title.

    “I’d like to thank everyone who believed in me,” Harvick said. “I’d also like to thank Richard Childress. Do you believe me now, Richard?

    “Sunday’s race was for all the marbles. And that included the ‘marbles’ of Kurt Busch, because it seems he’s lost his.”

    2. Ryan Newman: Newman started 21st on the grid and chased Kevin Harvick to the checkered flag, unable to get close enough to make a move. Newman finished second as Harvick celebrated his first championship.

    “I was looking to become the first Sprint Cup champion without a win,” Newman said. “That would have been a dream come true for me, and a nightmare for NASCAR.”

    3. Denny Hamlin: Hamlin, on old tires, lost the lead to Kevin Harvick with seven laps to go and finished seventh.

    “Michael Jordan was in my pit box cheering me on,” Hamlin said. “Seventh may be good enough for Charlotte Hornets, but not for me. No one was more upset when I lost than Michael. No one was happier than his bookie.”

    4. Jeff Gordon: Gordon started on the pole at Homestead and led a race-high 161 laps on his way to a 10th-place finish at Homestead.

    “Surprisingly,” Gordon said, “there were no punches thrown. Apparently, Homestead isn’t ‘grounds’ for fighting.”

    5. Joey Logano: Logano’s chances at the Sprint Cup championship disintegrated when jack problems in the pits dropped him to 21st on the restart. He eventually finished 16th in the Ford EcoBoost 400.

    “Just when we needed a ‘pick-me-up,’” Logano said, “we suffered a ‘letdown’ in the pits.”

    6. Matt Kenseth: Kenseth won the Nationwide Ford EcoBoost 300 on Saturday and finished sixth in the Ford EcoBoost 400 on Sunday.

    “Congratulations to Kevin Harvick,” Kenseth said. “He wouldn’t be holding that championship trophy had he not won the last two races. I’d say he certainly knows when to ‘push.’”

    7. Brad Keselowski: Keselowski finished third at Homestead, closing the books on an up-and-down year.

    “It was an up-and-down year for us,” Keselowski said, “as well as a ‘left-and-right’ year.”

    8. Dale Earnhardt, Jr.: Earnhardt finished 14th in the Ford EcoBoost 400, finishing the year with four wins.

    “It was a historic day at Homestead,” Earnhardt said. “The competition was intense, while Junior Nation was ‘in tents.’ Leave it to my fans to bring the moonshine to the ‘Sunshine State.’

    9. Jimmie Johnson: Johnson finished ninth at Homestead, the top finisher among Hendrick Motorsports drivers.

    “I wasn’t able to win my seventh title,” Johnson said, “but I can’t be too upset. “The race was called the ‘Ford EcoBoost 400. Let’s change that ‘Eco’ to ‘Echo,’ because whenever and wherever you say my name, you hear it repeated five times.”

    10. Kyle Larson: Larson finished 13th in the Ford EcoBoost 400, wrapping up what will surely be a Rookie Of The Year campaign.

    “If I don’t win that Rookie Of The Year award,” Larson said., “I’ll be very unhappy. So unhappy, that I could possibly go into ‘ROY’d rage.’”