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Tag: Dale Earnhardt Jr

NASCAR Top-10 Power Rankings: Phoenix

Note: The quotes in this article are fictional.

1. Kyle Busch: Busch finished fourth at Phoenix to post his fourth top-five finish of the season. He is tied with Kevin Harvick for the lead in the Sprint Cup points standings.

“I’m surprised Carl Edwards and Kevin Harvick both didn’t wreck each other before they reached the finish line,” Busch said. “I think it would have made for great controversy, although their cars would have been torn up. But I would have been more than happy to pick up the pieces.

“As for being co-leader in the points, there’s only thing I care to share with Harvick, and that’s mutual hatred.”

2. Kevin Harvick: Harvick battled Carl Edwards door to door over the final lap at Phoenix and held on to win the Good Sam 500 by .01 seconds.

“I was surprised I was able to hold off Edwards,” Harvick said. “He may have had fresh tires, but I had a flag that said, ‘Don’t tread on me.’”

3. Carl Edwards: Despite having fresh right-side tires for the final restart at Phoenix, Edwards was unable to complete the pass on Kevin Harvick, instead losing by .01 seconds.

“Harvick and I traded a lot of paint,” Edwards said. “We were racing so close, I felt like I could have reached over and grabbed him by the throat. The only thing that’s clashed harder than our cars is our personalities.”

4. Jimmie Johnson: Johnson finished 11th at Phoenix after starting in a backup car, due to a wreck in Friday’s qualifying.

“My steering wheel literally came loose in my hands,” Johnson said. “I guess that would be the most severe case of ‘losing your handling.’ And what an impact. I haven’t ‘hit a wall’ like that since right after winning my sixth championship.”

5. Kurt Busch: Busch finished sixth in the Good Sam 500, recording his fourth top 10 of the year. He is fourth in the points standings, 17 out of first.

“That’s a top 10 in each race this year,” Busch said. “That’s called consistency, which is a word that is not used very often to describe me, particularly the history of my mental state.”

6. Joey Logano: Logano finished 18th at Phoenix after his crew failed to fill his fuel tank on what should have been his final pit stop. Logano was forced to pit for a splash of gas, which likely cost him a top 10.

“I thought for sure we got all the fuel in,” Logano said. “Even Matt Kenseth would vouch for that fact—he said I ‘was full of it.’”

7. Denny Hamlin: Hamlin started third at Phoenix, part of a 1-2-3 Joe Gibbs Racing sweep in qualifying, and finished third, posting his first top-five since winning the Daytona 500.

“What a finish between Kevin Harvick and Carl Edwards,” Hamlin said. “I think many people are surprised that Edwards didn’t send Harvick into the wall to get past him, as NASCAR legend Dale Earnhardt would have done. But let’s be serious. Only one person considers Edwards the ‘Intimidator,’ and that’s Matt Kenseth.”

8. Austin Dillon: Dillon took ninth in the Good Sam 500, posting his third top-10 result of the year.

“It was an otherwise lousy day for Richard Childress Racing,” Dillon said. “My teammates Ryan Newman and Paul Menard finished last and next-to-last. Both suffered right-front tire failures. Some will ask: ‘Who blows more? The tires, or the drivers?’ In any case, Ryan and Paul will always have a job with RCR, probably as the guys who scuff the surface of new tires, because they’re scrubs.”

9. Dale Earnhardt Jr.: Earnhardt came home fifth at Phoenix, the top finisher among Hendrick Motorsports drivers.

“It’s too bad it didn’t end with tempers flaring,” Earnhardt said. “That would have made for a perfect ‘March Mad-ness’ tie-in.”

10. Brad Keselowski: Keselowski suffered a blown right-rear tire on lap 226 at Phoenix, and the resulting damage left the No. 2 Penske Ford with a 29th-place finish.

“What an entertaining finish,” Keselowski said. “Carl Edwards and Kevin Harvick put on quite a show. Rest assured, when those two are battling for something, it’s definitely not a popularity contest. I really would have loved to have been part of an Edwards-Harvick duel, preferably as the guy that says, ‘Take 10 paces, turn, and fire.’”

March 15, 2016
The Final Word – Harvick rises like a phoenix at Phoenix from the tears of Edwards

A phoenix rises from the ashes to be reborn. In Phoenix, Kevin Harvick rose from the tears of Carl Edwards to once again become the Cactus King, the driver to beat at Phoenix.

In November of 2012, Harvick won his first at that track. The next spring, the winner was Edwards. Last fall, Dale Earnhardt, Jr. was the victor. The four in between were all claimed by the man who has been victorious in six of the past eight events run in Arizona. That is domination, but it was close on Sunday. Very close.

Harvick had the dominant car on the day. Oh, what a surprise that was. However, he came to the overtime dash to the finish on four used tires, compared to the two fresh ones underneath Edwards. Underneath is where the gent went to make the pass, but Edwards did not get a clean get away. Side by side, fender to fender, fender into fender they came to the stripe, with Harvick taking it by a head. My head, if I had been foolish enough to have had it laying on the track, just 0.01 of a second for the closest outcome ever at this track, one of the closest finishes on any track, at any time.

Edwards was no slacker on the day, sitting among the top three pretty much from start to finish. He was the guy who was chasing Kyle Busch over the first 60 laps of this thing. Even a little miss on pit road did not derail Busch for long, as he concluded the event in fourth. Denny Hamlin was third, even after an early stop saw a tire roll away to find him penalized from fourth to 26th at the time. Earnhardt (5th) and Kurt Busch (6th) were also among the notables on the day, with young Chase Elliott bringing it home in eighth.

Sometimes being tired equates into being fatigued, adding new rubber in the pits, or having them fail to send one into the wall. Ryan Newman (39th) was the first casualty just over 50 laps into the race, and every fifty laps or so after somebody else got bit. Next up was Paul Menard (38th), to be followed by Ricky Stenhouse, Jr. (37th), but the exploding tread from Brad Keselowski (29th) was the most spectacular failure.

The Danica Patrick Line last Sunday was drawn at 19th, one place behind Joey Logano, who had a fuel intake issue that forced a late stop for juice, and Matt DiBenedetto in 20th.

The good news for everybody is the fact Harvick has not won at Fontana for the past five years. From 2004-2010, they visited the California venue twice, allowing the likes of Jimmie Johnson (5), and Matt Kenseth (3) to pick up a bunch of wins. Harvick and Tony Stewart have won there since they returned to a one and done situation, with Kyle winning twice before Keselowski took it last spring.

Those last two might be considered decent selections for the prognosticators, but remember that since 2006 Johnson has finished outside the Top 15 just once over the past 15 starts at Fontana. With both Edwards and Kenseth also boasting Top Ten averages, the track could live up to the community’s motto as the “City of Action.” I can live with that.

March 14, 2016
Hot 20 – The heat is on at Phoenix after an endorsement, poor ratings, and some poorer finishes

It is a strange world we live in. Donald Trump appears on his way to the Republican nomination, but an endorsement from Brian France has folks in a tizzy. It could kill the diversity NASCAR is striving for, some claim. That is true. I doubt Trump would be a supporter of any team hiring an illegal alien to drive for them. Crazy, I know.

If that is not bad enough, the television ratings have gone from bad, to worse, to not nearly as awful as the first two races. In a sport that had something of a cult following a decade ago, NASCAR no longer releases attendance figures, prize payouts, and has torn down some grandstands. The antidote will be found on the track, in their marketing, and in the economy. As always, there remains stark room for improvement in all those areas.

A year ago, Dale Earnhardt Jr. won at Phoenix. Five of the six before that, Kevin Harvick claimed the prize. Now, if anyone could use a win this weekend, Danica Patrick, Chase Elliott, and Clint Bowyer would be among them. They sure are not among the Hot 20 going into Sunday’s action.

1. JIMMIE JOHNSON – 1 WIN – 110 PTS
Drives like Superman. In California, he will even look a bit like him.

2. BRAD KESELOWSKI – 1 WIN – 98 PTS
Flag on the ground, flag on the ground, felt like a fool with the flag on the ground.

3. DENNY HAMLIN – 1 WIN – 93 PTS
Recently was asked if driver confrontations are staged. Sure, about as much as a Republican debate.

4. KYLE BUSCH – 116 PTS
Best in points, zip in wins. Close only counts in horseshoes, hand grenades, and NASCAR

5. KEVIN HARVICK – 109 PTS
Has won five of past seven races at Phoenix. If I were a betting man…

6. JOEY LOGANO – 104 PTS
Truck decal: Things I hate: warm beer, cold women, Joey Logano and Brad Keselowski

7. KURT BUSCH – 102 PTS
A pit-road speed limiter button request was made by the speedster to f****** NASCAR.

8. CARL EDWARDS – 96 PTS
Twice failing template inspection last week earns the team a written note of bad tidings.

9T. AUSTIN DILLON – 90 PTS
It has been a while since the No. 3 sat in Victory Lane. It might not be long before it returns.

9T. MARTIN TRUEX JR. – 90 PTS
Crew Chief is in the sin bin this week, but the driver has been a factor thus far.

11. RICKY STENHOUSE, JR. – 79 PTS
If Dillon’s performances surprise you, this must make your head spin.

12. DALE EARNHARDT JR. – 78 PTS
California’s Caped Crusader hopes to repeat at Gotham…er…Phoenix.

13. KASEY KAHNE – 77 PTS
Bouncing back, or just bouncing. The jury remains out.

14. RYAN BLANEY – 73 PTS
While Mr. Elliott gets the headlines, fellow rookie Blaney thrives in un-Chartered territory.

15. ARIC ALMIROLA – 72 PTS
Living the all-American dream in the all-American car, employed by an all-American icon.

16. JAMIE MCMURRAY – 69 PTS
Some consider this to be a slow start, but it is way too early to get terribly excited just yet.

17. RYAN NEWMAN – 66 PTS
Led just one lap this season. Maybe he is going for quality rather than quantity.

18. PAUL MENARD – 62 PTS
Getting out of a hole at this time of year is a whole lot easier than trying to do it later.

19. REGAN SMITH – 57 PTS
Good start by Tommy Baldwin entry, but last two results have been far from impressive.

20T. TREVOR BAYNE – 56 PTS
Finally had a Top 20 finish last week. Well, at least, that is something.

20T. KYLE LARSON – 56 PTS
Was looking pretty good, then came Las Vegas.

20T. MATT KENSETH – 56 PTS
If NASCAR had a bumper car division, he would be running away with it this season.

20T. GREG BIFFLE – 56 PTS
Tied with his former team-mate and ahead of Danica. That might not make him feel any better.

March 9, 2016
NASCAR Top-10 Power Rankings: Las Vegas

Note: The quotes in this article are fictional.

1. Kyle Busch: Busch led late at Las Vegas but was passed with five laps to go by Brad Keselowski, who went on to win the Kobalt 400. Busch leads the Sprint Cup points standings by six points over Jimmie Johnson.

“The No. 18 M&M’s car had a late wheel vibration that affected the handling,” Busch said. “If that type of vibration happens to the No. 48 car, you’d call it a ‘Shimmie Johnson.’”

2. Jimmie Johnson: Johnson led a race-high 76 laps and finished third in the Kobalt 400 at Las Vegas Motor Speedway.

“It was a grueling race due to the weather,” Johnson said, “and that takes a physical toll on a driver. Take it from a guy who runs triathlons—even I was ‘winded’ afterwards.”

3. Kevin Harvick: Harvick took seventh at Las Vegas, piloting the No. 4 Jimmy Johns Chevy to its third top-10 finish of the year.

“NASCAR legend Mark Martin has endorsed Donald Trump as the Republican nominee for President,” Harvick said. “Martin urged Trump to ‘build that wall.’ A lot of people have urged Trump to do that. Some have even encouraged him to build that wall out of Muslims. I don’t know how high a wall would be needed to prevent illegal aliens from crossing the border. I do know that a four-foot wall would prevent Mark from seeing over it.”

4. Joey Logano: Logano finished second to Brad Keselowski as Penske Racing swept the top two places at Las Vegas. Logano is fourth in the points standings, 12 behind Kyle Busch.

“That’s right,” Logano said, “Penske drivers went 1-2 at Vegas. I think we could make a habit of taking the top 2 positions at future races. Other drivers have already nicknamed us ‘The Old One-Two,’ but mostly because our faces are so punchable.”

5. Kurt Busch: Busch started on the pole for the second consecutive week and had a strong run waylaid when he was collected in a crash with Carl Edwards caused by Matt Kenseth’s spin. Busch salvaged a ninth-place finish and is fifth in the points standings.

“The wind was blowing something fierce,” Busch said. “There were gusts upwards of 50 miles per hour. In NASCAR, we call that ‘da breeze caution.’ In the NHRA, they call that ‘Gale Force.’ No relation to John.”

6. Brad Keselowski: Keselowski recovered from a pit road speeding penalty and passed Kyle Busch with five laps to go to win the Kobalt 400 at Las Vegas. Penske Racing teammate Joey Logano took second.

“It wasn’t easy passing Kyle,” Keselowski said. “I really had to work for it, as Kyle doesn’t concede position easily. If you mention the words ‘push over,’ Kyle won’t respond. Now, if you mention the words ‘pull over,’ Kyle will respond, especially if you’re a state trooper.”

7. Carl Edwards: After a wreck in practice, Edwards resorted to a backup car and finished 18th at Las Vegas. He sits seventh in the Sprint Cup points standings, 20 out of first.

“Las Vegas is a favorite stop on the circuit for many drivers,” Edwards said. “We all head to the casinos with high hopes, and leave with lighter wallets. Of course, you can’t talk about ‘blow money’ without mentioning Tim Richmond. He would have loved the track at Las Vegas Motor Speedway, and if given the chance to turn laps there, I bet he would have never left. Tim was always driven to excess.”

8. Martin Truex Jr.: Truex finished 11th in the Kobalt 400 at Las Vegas. He is ninth in the points standings, 26 out of first.

“I was docked 15 points for having a roof flap issue for the second-straight race,” Truex said. “We’ve been trying to fool NASCAR for a week. Interestingly enough, they just happened to choose Las Vegas to blow the roof off this scandal.”

9. Austin Dillon: Dillon posted his second consecutive top-five finish with a fifth in the Kobalt 400. He is ninth in the points standings, 26 out of first.

“It’s nice to make Richard Childress Racing important again,” Dillon said. “If I’m not mistaken, they made a movie about me called ‘The Relevant.’”

10. Dale Earnhardt Jr.: Earnhardt finished eighth at Las Vegas, posting his second top 10 of the year.

“I was in attendance at UFC 196 in Las Vegas on Saturday night,” Earnhardt said. “Believe me, the only times I hear the words ‘tap out’ mentioned more are at a Junior Nation keg party.”

March 8, 2016
The Final Word – Las Vegas came with some distractions, and not all of them were in Nevada

It was a rainy, blowy kind of Sunday, and that was just in these parts where I live. With a few errands to run, we had Sirius Channel 90 on the car radio so we did not miss the action. Due to the rainy, blowy kind of Sunday at Las Vegas, we did not.

Rarely do I watch the action live, but we were visiting my father, as the ladies in the family took care of packing up some of my late mother’s things. We gentleman were in front of the television. We also talked a lot. Did I mention our three and five year old nieces were there, the precocious pair being cuteness personified? Under those kind of conditions, one can miss some of the action, so with less than 30 laps to go it appeared we were seeing Kyle Busch rushing toward the finish. Then my sister came into the room, and our attention was further strained. When they waved the flag, it was Brad Keselowski taking the trophy. Okay, what in hell happened? Luckily for me, I taped the race, so an answer would be forthcoming.

I guess we failed to notice Keselowski make the pass with about six laps to go. It appears Busch was experiencing some vibration that only got worse, tightening the car and affecting his ability to turn. That is usually something one wishes to do when racing on an oval. Down to the final lap, Joey Logano made his pass for second. At the line, Jimmie Johnson edged out Busch for third. At least Kyle was the best Busch brother on the day.

Kurt Busch started strong, leading for 31 laps. A pit penalty while under the competition caution took him out of the running for top spot, and he never contended again. Still, ninth is not bad. Denny Hamlin actually led for a few laps. Ten, to be exact, but 19th was his fate.

Only five other drivers really mattered in Las Vegas. Keselowski popped in and out of the Top Three much of the day before he made his final charge. His car proved good enough to overcome a speeding penalty with 80 to go, needing just half of that to get back into contention, going on to claim his 18th career victory. The high winds on the day actually whipped the Stars and Stripes out of the car during the post-race celebration, though the young patriot immediately stopped the car to retrieve the fallen flag. Not exactly Denzil Washington’s scene in Glory, but much appreciated just the same.

Just about everyone else who mattered were also there at the finish. Logano had led 70 laps, Johnson 76, and Kyle 38 of the final 44 laps, but those missing six were the most crucial. There was one exception.

Matt Kenseth only led nine, but he was up front much of the day. A vibration caused him to short pit about 60 laps in, but it did not take him long to get back into the mix. Late in the race, just before my sister came into the room, Kenseth was fifth on a re-start. A lap later, he lost the handling as his car drifted up toward the fence, where Chase Elliott smashed into him to wrap up the day for both. The only one who did not think Elliott could not have avoided the crash was Elliott himself, who thought things would have turned out differently if he had only used his brakes. The pair finished just ahead of Cole Whitt for dead last.

As for the Danica Line this week, it was 21st Sunday at Las Vegas, with Greg Biffle finishing just ahead while Clint Bowyer finished just behind her. Despite all the wishin’ and a hopin’, Patrick is still not a Top 20 performer. She sits 26th in today’s rankings, though that is better than Elliott and Bowyer heading into Phoenix this weekend.

Three races, three winners. Last year, Dale Earnhardt, Jr. was the victor in Arizona. Mind you, five of the previous six races run there were all claimed by Kevin Harvick. I think we have a favorite.

March 7, 2016
Hot 20 – If rules are meant to be broken, somebody forgot to tell NASCAR

Rules be rules, and the book was tossed at a number of folks after Atlanta. The biggest hit was taken by Martin Truex Jr. after a roof flap issue meant the loss of 15 points. Thanks to the appeal process, he keeps crew chief Cole Pearn for this weekend otherwise, he would be gone for a race and tagged with a $50,000 fine. Considering it is the second straight race the issue has come up, NASCAR got rather ornery.

The honchos were not happy. A.J. Allmendinger lost 10 points for issues regarding his rear wheel crush panels. Austin Dillon, Paul Menard, Ryan Newman and Michael McDowell lost 10 each for components of the car not being kosher. Each crew chief also got to donate $15,000 to the cause.

The poobahs were not done. For failing to pass the pre-qualifying inspection after three attempts, they sent nasty notes to Jeffery Earnhardt’s people, along with the loss of 15 minutes of practice time. Uncle Dale Earnhardt Jr., along with Matt DiBenedetto, and Cole Whitt, were written up after each failed twice.

The lords of all racing even managed to hand out a $5000 penalty to an XFINITY crew chief, wrote up six others for pre-racing inspection issues, and even tagged a Camping World team for failing post-race inspection.

Bad boys, bad boys, whatcha gonna do?

In the meantime, NASCAR boss Brian France came out and endorsed Donald Trump for President. To each his own, but I cannot help thinking that while the Donald might not be everyone’s cup of tea, the character and morality flaws of some of the others leave him looking like Gandhi. Yes, it is a strange, strange world we live in, Master Jack.

Off to Las Vegas, our Hot 20 performers include…

1. DENNY HAMLIN – 1 WIN – 70 PTS
Still has Atlanta car, but his Daytona car is missing. It happens every darn year to somebody.

2. JIMMIE JOHNSON – 1 WIN – 70 PTS
Win a race, tie Dale Earnhardt, pretty much lock in a spot in the Chase. Check, check, and check.

3. KYLE BUSCH – 78 PTS
Won Atlanta’s XFINITY race and outran my five-month-old nephew Oscar. What a guy.

4. KEVIN HARVICK – 74 PTS
If he hopes to repeat in 2016, does that mean Harvick “peated” at Las Vegas last year?

5. CARL EDWARDS – 73 PTS
No one mentions his former friend 12919-028 anymore.

6. KURT BUSCH – 69 PTS
Will the hometown look the same as he steps down from the plane?

7. JOEY LOGANO – 64 PTS
A recent story was entitled, “Logano tries to adjust to new package.” I giggled. I am so immature.

8. MARTIN TRUEX, JR. – 60 PTS
Roof flap issues cost Truex 15 points, but the appeal retains for him his crew chief, for now.

9. ARIC ALMIROLA – 55 PTS
Some with Cuban heritage are running for President. President Almirola has a ring to it.

10. BRAD KESELOWSKI – 54 PTS
While Mr. France likes Donald Trump, Brad kind of likes the sound of President Keselowski.

11. AUSTIN DILLON – 53 PTS
When I rechecked the point standings from Tuesday, I thought I might have had another stroke.

12. MATT KENSETH – 51 PTS
In future, when the flag goes black, maybe they should get back.

13. RICKY STENHOUSE, JR. – 50 PTS
Later this season, he will truly be a Sunny Delight. I wonder if Ms. Patrick would agree?

14. KYLE LARSON – 49 PTS
A big fan of the NBA Charlotte Hornets. I like the NHL Montreal Canadiens. We both are weird.

15. KASEY KAHNE – 46 PTS
Named by Hollywood Life as a Top 10 Hottie of NASCAR. Nope. Danica is all alone.

16. DALE EARNHARDT JR. – 45 PTS
After failing pre-qualifying inspection twice, even Junior got written up on Santa’s naughty list.

17. JAMIE MCMURRAY – 44 PTS
Looked good at Atlanta, then they began the second minute of action.

18. REGAN SMITH – 40 PTS
Tommy Baldwin should be proud.

19. CHASE ELLIOTT – 38 PTS
Thanks to good, clean living and NASCAR penalties, the rookie makes the list.

20. RYAN BLANEY – 38 PTS
Some got a Charter, some did not need it.

21. RYAN NEWMAN – 38 PTS
Must have been a Childress thing, as Newman and Menard are also 10 lighter than first tallied.

March 2, 2016
NASCAR Top-10 Power Rankings: Atlanta

Note: The quotes in this article are fictional.

1. Kyle Busch: One day after winning the XFINITY Series race, Busch finished third in the Folds Of Honor 500. He now stands third in the points standings, eight behind Jimmie Johnson and Denny Hamlin.

“I originally won the pole,” Busch said, “but my car failed inspection. That gave the pole to my brother Kurt. You could say Kurt backed into the pole. That ‘pole’ at Atlanta caused no damage to Kurt’s car, unlike that ‘wall’ at Dover last October, which damaged Kevin Harvick’s car not only beyond recognition but beyond inspection.”

2. Jimmie Johnson: Johnson short-pitted with about 40 laps to go in Atlanta, and held off the charging Kevin Harvick down the stretch to capture the Folds Of Honor 500. With the win, Johnson matched Dale Earnhardt with his 76th career win.

“That’s why I held three fingers out of the window,” Johnson said. “Not because I was three times as pissed off as Martin Truex Jr. was at Regan Smith, but because I wanted to honor Dale Earnhardt. Just call me the ‘InJimidator.’

“I have to give it up to Chad Knaus for making a bold strategy call. Chad firmly believes in staying one step ahead of the competition, and two steps ahead of the rule book.”

3. Martin Truex Jr.: Truex led 34 laps and finished seventh in Atlanta, and is now fourth in the Sprint Cup points standings.

“You may have seen me give Regan Smith the finger,” Truex said. “You may not know this, but the Sunday before ‘Leap Day’ is ‘Flip Day.’”

4. Denny Hamlin: Hamlin fell a lap down early at Atlanta and never recovered, finishing 16th, two laps down.

“I call it the ‘Daytona Hangover,’” Hamlin said. “The thrill of victory at Daytona is often determined by less than a tenth of a second. The agony of defeat is often marked by more than a fifth of liquor.”

5. Kevin Harvick: Harvick led a race-high 131 laps but was outsmarted in the pits by Jimmie Johnson, who short-pitted to build a big lead, then held on after a late caution.

“That race was mine to lose,” Harvick said. “But I’ll let my crew chief, Rodney Childers, take ownership of it, though, because he was outsmarted by Chad Knaus. It was a contest to see who was going to pit first. You could say it was a game of ‘cat and Knaus.’”

6. Matt Kenseth: Kenseth finished 19th at Atlanta after a mid-race penalty left him two laps down.

“That’s called an ‘improper fueling’ penalty,” Kenseth said. “Apparently, my gas man placed a wrench on the back of the car. That’s a no-no. But not as big a no-no as me placing my front bumper on the back of Joey Logano’s car.”

7. Carl Edwards: Edwards finished fifth in the Folds Of Honor 500 to score his second top-five result of the year.

“There were 327 laps of green flag racing,” Edwards said. “We haven’t seen this much green flag racing since 2015. Or, should I say, ‘We didn’t see this much green flag racing in 2015.’”

8. Kurt Busch: Busch started on the pole and took fourth at Atlanta, one spot behind younger brother Kyle. Kurt is seventh in the points standings, nine out of first.

“Did you hear?” Busch said. “Brian France endorsed Donald Trump for President. That’s interesting because, in July, NASCAR said it would not hold its Camping World and XFINITY banquets at Trump’s National Doral Resort after Trump made racist and disparaging remarks about immigrants. Apparently, France puts the ‘race’ in ‘racism.’ I can see Trump spin this to even greater advantage: he’ll say he was endorsed by France, and his supporters will believe it’s the country. Viva Le Trump!”

9. Brad Keselowski: Keselowski finished ninth at Atlanta, plagued by handling issues that likely prevented a top-5 result.

“In light of Brian France’s endorsement of Donald trump,” Keselowski said, “this is certainly not the first time someone has looked at France and said, ‘What is he doing?’

“But enough about a pudgy-faced clown who is clueless as to how to run a race, France needs to mind his own business. He can’t even handle the politics of his own sport, much less those of a nation.”

10. Austin Dillon: Dillon started eighth and finished 11th in the Folds Of Honor 500. He is ninth in the Sprint Cup points standings, 15 out of first.

“My younger brother Ty subbed for Tony Stewart in the No. 14 car,” Dillon said. “Tony is out for a few weeks, mostly to rehab a back injury, but also to work on his new cookbook, ’50 Shades Of Gravy.’

“While Tony is out, Stewart-Haas Racing wants someone in that car. They certainly don’t want that ride empty. Ty is more than happy to occupy that spot. So, with or without Tony, you know there will be an ass in the seat.”

March 1, 2016
The Final Word – It was a war of words at Atlanta, black flags be damned

The drivers liked it. I think most pure race enthusiasts liked it. I kind of liked it. It was not the visual experience Daytona provides, granted, but you could not to sure of anything until it ended. One pit problem, a lack of cautions, and just the second of the day popping up right at the end sure rid us of some of our preconceptions.

For example, Matt Kenseth was going to have a wonderful day at Atlanta. Sure, what could go wrong? Well, it seems that the most a gasman can do when actually fueling the car, when the can is actually engaged, is to pass gas or maybe sing a little song, but that is about it. He cannot place a wrench on the deck of the car, for example. That would call for a pit penalty. Not so, claimed crew chief Jason Ratcliff, who was too busy arguing the case that he did not seem to notice when NASCAR black flagged the driver, then quit counting his laps. Kenseth sure the hell did, and did not seem terribly happy about it. By the time he came in, he was going to go back out two laps down, and he stayed down to finish 19th despite once leading for 47 laps.

Kurt Busch led from the pole and looked sweet for the early going. Sixty-two laps worth of sweetness. Then others got even sweeter, but a fourth place finish was not bad. If we thought he who led early would also lead late, we were bound to wind up mistaken.

Kevin Harvick then would be the guy. He led late. He led the most, with 131 laps on the point. He looked good. Then Chad Knaus ruined everything. He called Jimmie Johnson in early for some fresh rubber in a bid to make up ground. That happened. When Harvick came in under green, a hung front tire cost him four seconds in the pits against Johnson’s time. Harvick was down by more than a dozen seconds, made up half of it, then stalled. It was over, right? Wrong.

Two-thirds of the way through at Atlanta, we had our first caution for debris. By that time, we had two-thirds of the field lapped. With just three to go, Ryan Newman blew a right rear and caution waved for just the second time on the day. Harvick and Johnson would restart side by side.

If only Happy had not spun his tires, it might have been close. If only he did not get tagged by Martin Truex Jr. from behind, then rubbed by Carl Edwards from the side, he might have been able to salvage the situation. If only. Sixth was to be his fate, one spot behind Edwards and just ahead of Truex.

In the end, Johnson won his 76th career race, tying the mark of the late Dale Earnhardt, as his son and Johnson’s teammate, Dale Earnhardt Jr., came home second, just ahead of Kyle Busch. This is not what we thought would happen with 20 to go. Once again, we were wrong. If we can be so wrong in a race that had just three cautions, including one that came out on the final lap, there must have been some decent racing action going on. With Las Vegas coming up next week, betting on the outcome might truly be the dominion of true gamblers. Hell, we can’t even be sure as to how big the field is going to be anymore.

The worst Charter car was the 38th place finish of Jeffrey Earnhardt, in a 39 car field. The best non-Charter was Ryan Blaney in 25th. Danica Patrick was 20th, sandwiched between Kenseth and Jamie McMurray. With the win, Johnson joins Denny Hamlin, 16th at Atlanta, as the pair with a ticket all but already punched for the Chase. If nothing else, picking those two to be among the Chasers would have been a very astute pick.

Thank God there appears to be at least one thing we can be confident about.

February 29, 2016
Hot 20 – Some familiar names missing, but their replacements do not seem all that out of place

Interesting things can happen after the first race of the season. Some names usually near the front find themselves as also-rans as the schedule continues on to Atlanta. No Junior. No Biffle, No Bowyer. No Patrick. Okay, I’ve gone too far, I know.

Still, a lot of the boys who did, do not appear out of place. Regan Smith might have something to prove this year and the same with his owner Tommy Baldwin. Michael McDowell did well in a non-Charter ride and returns to his regular seat this Sunday. Ryan Blaney has no safety line, but the Wood Brothers just need to continue showing up and making races. Odds are the three past contenders should move ahead of this trio before long, but could one or two of them win somewhere along the way and steal a Chase spot from somebody? Why not.

Last Sunday, it was all about restrictor plate pack racing. Atlanta should be more about the car, the one they worked on, the one NASCAR claims again to be just what we need for more competitive, more exciting action.

I await the excitement promised for Sunday. Here are our hottest 20 performers coming to Atlanta.

1. Denny Hamlin – 1 Win – 45 Points
Toyota claims its first Daytona 500 in a game of inches.

2. Martin Truex, Jr. – 40 Points
If Charlton Heston was at the wheel, this car might have hit ramming speed.

3. Kyle Busch – 39 Points
39 points better than he was at this time last year. Walks better, too.

4. Kevin Harvick – 37 Points
Harvick had a plan last Sunday. Hamlin took that plan to Victory Lane.

5. Carl Edwards – 36 Points
A Top Five with a front fender made of peanut brittle.

6. Joey Logano – 35 Points
In the best darn Ford on the day. If you are seeking a Roush Ford…there is always next week.

7. Kyle Larson – 34 Points
This season, his Daytona 500 proved to be a much better experience than his Rolex 24.

8. Regan Smith – 33 Points
Some get a Charter handed to them, but maybe Tommy Baldwin wishes to show his was earned.

9. Austin Dillon – 33 Points
Only one man has ever taken the No. 3 to victory in the Daytona 500…and he did it once.

10. Kurt Busch – 31 Points
Has he driven a Ford lately?

11. Ryan Newman – 31 Points
If you can’t make tracks driving a Caterpillar, you can’t make tracks at all.

12. Aric Almirola – 29 Points
Petty people worked hard on their intermediate-track package. Sunday shall be a test of that.

13. Kasey Kahne – 28 Points
Who is the best damn driver at Hendrick? Kan’t guess?

14. Matt Kenseth – 28 Points
Only the inside lane was moving, until the outside lane did.

15. Michael McDowell – 26 Points
Loaned out his Charter ride and beat it as an outsider.

16. Jimmie Johnson – 26 Points
Not often Six Time is not visible. That probably won’t be the case in Atlanta.

17. Jamie McMurray – 24 Points
Bend ‘em like Beckham? Danica has to work to motor like McMurray.

18. Paul Menard – 23 Points
Childress entries were more successful last Sunday than Hendrick Chevys. Interesting.

19. Ryan Blaney – 22 Points
Charter? Who needs a stinkin’ Charter?

20. Brad Keselowski – 22 Points
According to Hamlin, the least athletic driver, “…with a sprint cup championship,” added Brad.

February 25, 2016
NASCAR Top-10 Power Rankings: Daytona

Note: The quotes in this article are fictional.

1. Denny Hamlin: Hamlin powered his way past Matt Kenseth on the final lap, then edged Martin Truex Jr. at the line by .010 seconds, the closest finish in Daytona 500 history, to win his first 500.

“It was a bold move to leave the draft and go high,” Hamlin said. “Joe Gibbs’ drivers are known for getting ‘out of line,’ notably Matt Kenseth anytime Joey Logano’s in front of him, or Kyle Busch anytime he’s behind the wheel of a street car.

“I’m just glad I was able to end Joe Gibbs’ 23-year Daytona drought. Joe said this felt like winning the Super Bowl. Speaking of football, maybe NASCAR should follow the NFL’s lead and make it much easier to pass.”

2. Martin Truex, Jr.: Truex took the runner-up spot at Daytona, falling .010 seconds short to Denny Hamlin in the closest finish in Daytona 500 history.

“I’m disappointed,” Truex said, “but it was a great result for Furniture Row Racing. To celebrate, Furniture Row is throwing in a free ‘photo finish’ on all products purchased this week.

“I can’t be too unhappy about finishing second. I think I made a name for myself at Daytona. Unfortunately, that name is ‘Martin Truex II.’”

3. Kyle Busch: Busch started defense of his 2015 Sprint Cup championship with a strong third in the Daytona 500, as Joe Gibbs Racing placed three cars in the top 5.

“These Gibbs Toyotas were strong all day long,” Busch said. “We knew if we remained grouped together in the low line, we’d be there at the end. It may not have worked out so well for Tim Richmond, but running a train sure did for JGR.”

4. Matt Kenseth: Leading on the final lap, Kenseth was passed after a daring move to the high line by Denny Hamlin, who sailed past Kenseth’s failed attempt to block. Hamlin went on to edge Martin Truex Jr. as Kenseth slid back to 14th.

“Maybe I should have held my line,” Kenseth said. “But it’s hard to remain disciplined when you think you may get passed. Trust me, last year taught me how hard it was to ‘be disciplined.’

“But congratulations to Hamlin. He predicted his Daytona 500 win as a second-grader. Speaking of school, maybe I should have paid more attention in drafting class.”

5. Kevin Harvick: Harvick finished fourth, and generated the momentum that propelled Denny Hamlin past Matt Kenseth on the final turn to result in Hamlin’s win.

“That’s the second¬-most famous push in the back I’m known for,” Harvick said. “The first was in Texas in 2014 when I shoved Brad Keselowski. Hamlin’s post-race fist pump was the only punch thrown in either situation.”

6. Joey Logano: Logano, last year’s Daytona 500 winner, took sixth in this year’s race after starting fifth on the grid.

“I can’t be too sad for Matt Kenseth,” Logano said. “You could say he got what was coming to him.

“As for the race itself, it was a pretty boring affair save for the last lap. Maybe NASCAR needs to institute a ‘repetition’ caution before fans revolt in a ‘Mutiny On Monotony.’”

7. Kyle Larson: Larson finished seventh in the Daytona 500, his best result ever in the season’s inaugural race.

“How about Scottish actor Gerard Butler’s role as Grand Marshal?” Larson said. “Nothing says ‘The Great American Race’ like a Scottish accent.”

8. Jimmie Johnson: Johnson led 18 laps and was poised for a strong finish until a pit road penalty with 45 laps to go. Johnson was issued a drive-through penalty after NASCAR deemed his pit crew were over the wall too soon.

“Too many men over the wall?” Johnson said. “Who called this penalty, Donald Trump?

“Pole-sitter and Hendrick teammate Chase Elliott took a spin through the Daytona infield, as did Danica Patrick. For some drivers, like Chase, it’s a ‘spin in the grass;’ for others, like Ricky Stenhouse Jr., it’s a ‘roll in the hay.’”

9. Regan Smith: Smith, in the No. 7 Tommy Baldwin Racing Chevrolet, finished eighth in the Daytona 500.

“Hamlin wrote a letter in the second grade saying his dream was to win the Daytona 500,” Smith said. “Most NASCAR fans would respond to that by saying, ‘Dreams do come true.’ The remaining NASCAR fans would say, ‘Hamlin could write in the second grade?’”

10. Kurt Busch: Busch started eighth and finished tenth at Daytona.

“Brian France promised lots of changes for the 2016 NASCAR season,” Busch said. “I guess lead changes wasn’t one of them. There were only four lead changes that didn’t happen as a result of pit stops.

“But what would you expect from NASCAR’s CEO and Chairman? Maybe ‘CFO’ would be a better title because he’s a ‘Chubby-Faced Oaf.’ France wants to be omnipresent. He should start by just being present. Just to clarify, I took those words right out of Tony Stewart’s mouth. As long as it’s not food, Tony doesn’t mind.”

February 23, 2016