Tag: Danica Patrick

  • Surprising and Not Surprising: Food City 500 in Support of Steve Byrnes

    Surprising and Not Surprising: Food City 500 in Support of Steve Byrnes

    With all of NASCAR nation standing up for Steve Byrnes and others battling cancer, here is what was surprising and not surprising in the 55th annual Food City 500 at Bristol Motor Speedway.

    Surprising: With the day race stretching into night because of the Bristol rain drops, it was all about windows for NASCAR and the race winner. NASCAR made difficult decisions all day, focusing on windows in the weather to successfully get the entire race in, and then some due to the green-white-checkered finish.

    And Matt Kenseth, along with crew chief Jason Ratcliff, took advantage of their window of opportunity to capture the checkered flag, ending a 51 race drought and taking Toyota back to Victory Lane. And with that win, Kenseth and team No. 20 have also opened their window on the opportunity to race for the Chase.

    “Matt, he did a phenomenal job, as always, especially here at Bristol,” Ratcliff said. “This place is unbelievable. I get out of breath just watching him go around here. Great night, obviously.”

    “To get a win under our belt and we can look at the season a little differently now, knowing that we’re in the Chase, so I’m really excited,” Ratcliff continued. “I think we’ve turned the corner, and we’ve got a great season ahead of us.”

    Not Surprising: As appropriate, tributes to Jeff Gordon as he runs his last season of Cup competition continue to pour in. But he received one of the biggest gifts in his career to date, that of having his children Ella and Leo, give the command to the drivers, and their papa, to start the engines for the Bristol racing.

    “Highlight for me,” Gordon said of his children giving the command. “The day couldn’t be bad after that. That was so, so cool, and they nailed it. I’m just so, so proud of them.”

    “I’m just so thankful to Bristol Motor Speedway and Marcus and Bruton and all those folks. To do that, to invite them to do that means so much to me, and they just had a blast preparing for it, just practicing in the car on the way to school.”

    “So funny, and Leo, he had to put his little engine rev in there at the end, which I thought just kind of put it over the top. As soon as the red flag came, I went back to the bus and rewound it and watched it with them, and they were just beaming. It was awesome.”

    Gordon battled back after a loose wheel in the race caused him to lose a lap, finishing third in his No. 24 3M Chevrolet after a hard fought day to night race.

    Surprising: There was whole lot of surprising hurting going on prior to and during the race. Denny Hamlin decided to remove himself from the No. 11 FedEx Freight Toyota due to back pain and neck spasms, while Kurt Busch’s crew chief Tony Gibson had to absent the pit box due to recurring kidney stones.

    Young up and coming racer Erik Jones took over driving responsibilities for Hamlin, while Stewart Haas Racing’s team engineer John Klausmeyer took over crew chief duties for the No. 41 team, with an assist from Vice president of Competition Greg Zipadelli.

    “Watching race in my motorcoach is agonizing!” Gibson tweeted during the race. “Just released from the Bristol ER with a kidney stone. @GZipadelli @johnklax have crew chief duty.”

    “We had the wild thing happen with Denny,” Coach Joe Gibbs said after the race. “He had a spasm with his neck and shooting pain. We wound up flying Erik over here. He got here with five minutes to go, went and got in the car, first time in a Cup car, and we put him in that situation. And then he just — I thought he handled everything really well.”

    After all that hurting going on, Jones, whose arms were sore due to the steering wheel being too close, managed a respectable 26th place finish, while Kurt Busch finished 15th in his No. 41 Haas Automation Chevrolet.

    Not Surprising: In spite of some frustrations early on in the race, Jimmie Johnson rode the wave of momentum from his Texas win into the rainy banks of Bristol to finish runner up.

    “Yeah, the first half of the race or first third of the race I was behind the 24 and we just worked our way up through the field and things went pretty smoothly,” Johnson said. “I had a very fast race car and felt like we were going to have a strong night.”

    “And then one of the restarts midway through the race, the 41, I don’t know what happened, but he lost control, got into me. I went into the outside wall in Turn 3, and a caution came out. We had a fair amount of damage to the right-rear quarter panel. We weren’t as good as we were at the start of the race but still very competitive.”

    “Chad (Knaus, crew chief) called for two late in the race. That picked us up a few more spots, and then I think the last two restarts I was in the outside lane and that helped me out quite a bit. Wild night, but glad to get it in.”

    Surprising: It was a strange case of teammate-palooza at Bristol, with teammates who normally look out for one another, wrecking each other instead. Penske teammates Brad Keselowski and Joey Logano got into each other in the early part of the race before the rains came, as did Hendrick teammates Kasey Kahne and Dale Earnhardt, Jr. later in the race.

    “I just really hate that I tore up my teammate in the process,” Keselowski said after his contact with teammate Logano. “That’s really a bummer. I felt like I had a pretty normal line and it just flew crazy sideways on me. It’s a bummer for everybody at Team Penske to tear up both cars that way.”

    Not Surprising: Ricky Stenhouse, Jr. was on a high, loving the high banks of Bristol as well as his highest finish of the season to date, bringing his Zestfully clean car home in the fourth place position.

    “I knew when we came back here, it didn’t matter how we ran anywhere else, that we could have a decent car,” Stenhouse said. “I wish we could get it to translate to other racetracks, but I think it’s the high bank is what really helps us get our car to turn here and being able to run the top.”

    “We struggled in practice. When the line moved up to the top, we gained like 10 or 15 spots on the leaderboard in practice just because it moved to the top, and I could make some better speed up there.”

    Surprising: There was some NASCAR second guessing going on, even amongst those drivers who finished in the top-ten at Bristol, including Danica Patrick, who finished ninth and Austin Dillon, who finished tenth.

    “It was a bummer that we got a long run when I got the lucky dog,” Patrick said. “It was just so frustrating. There was a big accident after the rain. I should have got the lucky dog and I missed it all. I was in control enough to stay on the track instead of take the pit road. So I come around and I got on the apron and it was like it was still wet and the back-end just kind of slid around. I was like ‘ah well just restart it’. They said you are part of the accident you don’t get the lucky dog. I thought that was total crap.”

    “Then another time Jimmie (Johnson) gets the lucky dog and he goes and passes everybody and he is in front of me after getting the lucky dog. And I’m the lucky dog. I know it’s hard because it’s Bristol and everything happens very quickly here, but there were definitely quite a few mistakes by NASCAR just in making sure everything was right before we went green.”

    “We came out with a top 10 in the GoDaddy car. It looks terrible. I had to walk around it just to see what it looked like, but it’s Bristol baby.”

    “We worked hard all night and stayed in the top 10 all night,” Dillon said, echoing Patrick in frustration. “We get in a save fuel mode when we get a certain amount of heat and I guess it was dumping fuel and we just ran out of fuel. Then when we were trying to pull up there we might have finished ninth or eighth, but NASCAR held us back.”

    “I don’t know why.   Because Danica (Patrick) moved around and she was the lucky dog and I was trying to follow her. I don’t know. Not happy.”

    Not Surprising: Streaks are unfortunately made to be broken as both Kevin Harvick and Martin Truex, Jr. can attest. Both drivers had their top-five and top-ten finishing streaks come to an end at the track known as the Coliseum.

    Harvick in particular had no place to run to and no place to hide, slamming into David Ragan’s car after melee in front of them occurred.

    “I’m sorry guys,” Harvick said on the radio after the crash. “I just couldn’t stop.”

    “Today, nothing went our way,” Truex said. “We had a pretty good car that could run in the top-10. But the loose wheel incident was a costly deal that was very difficult to overcome. We just didn’t get the cautions when we needed them.”

    Truex, Jr., in his No. 78 Furniture Row/Visser Precision Chevrolet, finished 29th while Harvick, behind the wheel of the No. 4 Jimmy John’s/Budweiser Chevrolet finished 38th.

    Surprising: David Ragan had perhaps the best quote of the day/night race, saying “Sometimes when you race back there with the squirrels, you find a nut sometimes,” after getting wrecked out of the race and finishing 41st in his No. 18 Snickers Xtreme Toyota.

    “That’s just Bristol. You’re racing hard and the 26 (Jeb Burton) was a little slower and I know Jimmie (Johnson) is probably a little impatient trying to get back to the front,” Ragan continued. “I see he just touched him there and as soon as my spotter said they were wrecking, I’m all into the 48 (Johnson).”

    “That’s just one of those things you have at short track racing and all in all it’s just Bristol – wrong place at the wrong time.”

    Not Surprising: Justin Allgaier finally felt like he earned some respect with his career best NASCAR Sprint Cup Series finish of eighth place in his No. 51 Auto-Owners Chevrolet.

    “You know, it just seems like the first time I came here I felt like it was my kind of race track,” Allgaier said. “I just felt comfortable and have been fortunate enough over the years to have some good runs here.”

    “But at the same time, the Cup series is definitely an extreme challenge.   It’s not been easy to break our way up through the pack but tonight we felt like that was a big step in doing that and getting respect by racing around a lot of these guys,” Allgaier continued. “We need to do that on a weekly basis so when you can do that here at a place you run good at, hopefully you can take that momentum and go somewhere else that you don’t run good at and use that same momentum.”

     

  • The Final Word – With all the rain and challenges at Bristol, the only guy missing was Jeff Probst

    The Final Word – With all the rain and challenges at Bristol, the only guy missing was Jeff Probst

    Bristol. Just about the only thing missing was Jeff Probst and his Tribal Council as this turned into a game of survival. With the rains that delayed the start, the rains that stopped it again and again, the day race that ran into night became a reality show of its own.

    Take Kevin Harvick, for instance. He led 186 of the eventual 511 laps, but at Lap 310 he slid into a wrecked David Ragan and he found himself voted off the island in 38th place. If not Harv, then it was Kurt Busch in a dominant car. With eight to go, he took the brunt of it when Jeff Gordon got into Carl Edwards. Busch at least managed a 15th for his troubles.

    Then there was the case of Team Penske. You know you needed a hidden immunity idol when things go down the outdoor commode during the opening credits. Brad Keselowski wobbled and that allowed teammate Joey Logano to put out both their torches. Thirty-fifth and beyond was their fate.

    Do you want more examples? After the Penske wreck on the 19th lap, it rained some more. In that time, Denny Hamlin’s stiff neck got worse and when they restarted 18-year-old Erik Jones found himself racing a Cup car for the very first time, ending up 26th.

    How good was Dale Earnhardt Jr.’s car? We will never know, as a flat tire took him off the lead lap early, never to be seen again. At least he got 16th when it was all over. As for Austin Dillon, the extra laps before the final re-start ran him out of gas, but even with that he finished 10th.

    After a final caution, they needed a green-white-checker, but rain even delayed that, hence those extra caution laps before the fall of the final green. Matt Kenseth got a fine re-start to take a race he was not all that noticeable in, but the victory shows up just fine in the standings. After no wins last season, his 32nd career triumph had to be sweet no matter how he got it. Jimmie Johnson’s car did not look that pretty, but he came back to slip by Gordon for second while Jeff rebounded from a flat that had him down early to grab third. In short, these boys survived. Nobody thrived.

    Some folks play the game and slip in under the radar. Tony Stewart was sixth Sunday night, but that was a gift for to a guy who was 15th best at best. Danica Patrick was ninth. Another gift. Ricky Stenhouse Jr. was fourth, the best gift of all. Despite that good fortune, Roush-Fenway entries are still coming up short. Trevor Bayne was 28th, Greg Biffle 30th.

    Ryan Newman, fifth at Bristol, got 25 points back from his appeal over Tiregate. He still is missing his crew chief and two other team members due to suspension, and Richard Childress will continue his quest for their early return with a further appeal.

    It meant jack squat to see Logano win the Saturday XFINITY race at Bristol. Having Daniel Suarez (23 year old from Mexico), Chris Buescher (22), Erik Jones (18), Ty Dillon (23) and Chase Elliott (19) take the next five spots meant everything.

    Sunday we had the day long 2015 Food City 500 In Support of Steve Byrnes. For the NASCAR family, the broadcaster and his fight against cancer, is what truly is meaningful. We have tallied the vote, the tribe has spoken, we want you back just as soon as you are able, Steve.

  • Hot 20 heading to Bristol – Even being among the Lukewarm 30 would be beneficial for Tony

    Hot 20 heading to Bristol – Even being among the Lukewarm 30 would be beneficial for Tony

    Our Hot 20 is a look at those in contention to slip into one of the sixteen Chase spots. A win while in the Top 30 in points could prove to be just as good. Neither matters at the moment for Tony Stewart. Sadly, 2015 has been a year Smoke has been a participant, not a competitor.

    Even Kurt Busch, suspended for the first three events, should make this list in another week or two. Ryan Newman is outside, but we all know why that is. Roush-Fenway cars have been duds most of the season, which explains Ricky Stenhouse Jr. and Trevor Bayne. Kyle Larson missed one race to mend, but even if he had run there is no certainty it would have been enough. As for Sam Hornish Jr., he was 12th at Daytona, outside the Top 20 ever since.

    To be taken seriously, a driver really should at least average a 25th place finish week in and week out. That is just 684 points over the course of a season, just 19 each week. Twenty-eight drivers managed the feat in 2014, ranging from Kevin Harvick on top, down to what’s her name. They competed, the rest participated.

    Twenty-six have done it thus far in 2014. Stenhouse, Hornish and Stewart are not amongst them. While a win is not crucial just yet, it would solve a lot of ills. Just ask Kurt how that worked out for him last year.

    Hot 20 heading to Bristol…

    1. Kevin Harvick – 2 Wins (306 Points)
    A slump is finishing eighth at Martinsville. His boss would love that kind of hard luck.

    2. Jimmie Johnson – 2 Wins (216 Points)
    Sure, points are nice, but wins are better.

    3. Joey Logano – 1 Win (280 Points)
    Gets those Duke boys to help him launch new sponsor (Autotrader).

    4. Brad Keselowski – 1 Win (246 Points)
    The Captain has to be happier than the Skipper…two sweet ships and not a Gilligan in sight.

    5. Denny Hamlin – 1 Win (205 Points)
    Denny’s loves Denny. What’s next, Chick-fil-A for Danica? Taco Bell for Michael?

    6. Martin Truex Jr – 266 Points
    Like Harvick and Logano, going for eight straight in the Top Ten this season.

    7. Kasey Kahne – 230 Points
    Loves his tires, just not as wheely, wheely loose as they were at Texas.

    8. Dale Earnhardt Jr – 213 Points
    Going round and round is not pointless for Junior.

    9. Aric Almirola – 195 Points
    Smithfield Pork is the sponsor in the Food City 500. I’m sensing a theme here.

    10. David Ragan – 194 Points
    Would he be just as finger lickin’ good back in the No. 34?

    11. Jamie McMurray – 193 Points
    After showing off the new digital dashboard, hopes to dash to victory lane on Sunday.

    12. Matt Kenseth – 189 Points
    If you want a sure thing to make the Chase, Matt is as good as it gets.

    13. Jeff Gordon – 186 Points
    If Jeff is old I might as well go ahead and make my appointment with the undertaker.

    14. Carl Edwards – 182 Points
    A definite Bristol contender, a season changer if he can pull it off.

    15. Casey Mears – 178 Points
    Is getting by with a little help from his alliance friends.

    16. Paul Menard – 177 Points
    Runs better with an engine than in a soap box derby entry.

    17. Danica Patrick – 176 Points
    Not good enough to draw rave reviews just yet, but it sure beats 28th.

    18. Clint Bowyer – 168 Points
    Still in the hunt despite a Rodney Dangerfield kind of season.

    19. Greg Biffle – 165 Points
    If the Biff is suffering, imagine how teammates Stenhouse and Bayne are feeling.

    20. A.J. Allmendinger – 161 Points
    In 2007, at this track, in this race, A.J. made his Cup debut.

  • NASCAR Top-10 Power Rankings: Texas

    NASCAR Top-10 Power Rankings: Texas

    Note: The quotes in this article are fictional.

    1. Kevin Harvick: Harvick finished second at Texas, earning his ninth runner-up finish in his last 10 races. He leads the Sprint Cup points standings by 26 over Joey Logano.

    “Jimmie Johnson and I have won four of seven races this season,” Harvick said. “Johnson’s win at Texas supports the notion that the Sprint Cup championship is a two-man battle, and I ‘seconded’ that.

    “I visited The Masters on Thursday in support of my friend Scott Harvey, who’s an amateur. I took my Stewart-Haas Chevy with me. Every time Scott hit a shot, I said ‘4!’”

    2. Jimmie Johnson: Johnson took the lead for good with 14 laps to go, passing Kevin Harvick and Jamie McMurray, to win the Duck Commander 500 at Texas Motor Speedway.

    “Nothing’s more satisfying that putting on a cowboy hat and firing off a few rounds from a six-shooter,” Johnson said. “It’s a feeling that’s hard to describe unless you’re Kurt Busch, who would no doubt say he felt like an ‘assassin.’ And he knows.

    “But I’m not a big fan of ten-gallon hats. I prefer my volume measured in ‘Cups,’ and seven is the quantity I’m looking for.”

    3. Joey Logano: Logano led 19 laps and finished fourth in the Duck Commander 500, posting his third top-five result of the season.

    “Kurt Busch won his second pole of the season,” Logano said. “In Kurt’s world, winning the pole again is known as getting ‘reinstated’ to the first starting spot.”

    4. Brad Keselowski: Keselowski joined Penske Racing teammate Joey Logano, who finished fourth, in the top five with a fifth in the Duck Commander 500.

    “It was a very uneventful race,” Keselowski said. “Unlike November’s race in Texas, nothing happened. Call it a ‘ho humdinger.’ Even the boredom was Texas-sized. Had the race last November been called the Duck Commander 500, maybe it would have done me some good. With all the shoves and punches flying at me then, a ‘duck’ call surely would have helped.”

    5. Martin Truex Jr.: Truex finished ninth in the Duck Commander 500, giving him six top 10’s in the season’s first seven races. He stands third in the points standings, 50 behind Kevin Harvick.

    “There’s another ‘Junior’ making news,” Truex said. “Apparently, Danica Patrick would say ‘yes’ if Ricky Stenhouse Jr. would propose. That puts Ricky in a truly awkward predicament. Now, it seems both Patrick and Stenhouse are in ‘no-win’ situations.”

    6. Dale Earnhardt Jr.: Earnhardt came home third on a strong day for Hendrick Motorsports, which placed four drivers in the top seven. Earnhardt is seventh is the points standings, 93 out of first.

    “Rick Hendrick couldn’t be happier,” Earnhardt said. “Unlike a Richard Childress Racing tire, Rick’s ego is fully inflated.

    7. Kasey Kahne: Kahne finished eighth in the Duck Commander 500 after starting fourth and leading six laps.

    “Did you see Michael Waltrip standing atop Texas Motor Speedway’s giant video monitor?” Kahne said. “Michael looked a little wobbly up there, but then again, when has Michael ever been that sure of his ‘orientation.’”

    8. Jeff Gordon: Gordon finished seventh at Texas as all four Hendrick Motorsports drivers finished in the top seven.

    “I really wanted to win in Texas,” Gordon said. “That would have been the perfect going away present. As it was, Jimmie Johnson won ‘going away.’”

    9. Denny Hamlin: Hamlin finished 11th at Texas, one spot behind Joe Gibbs Racing teammate Carl Edwards in 10th. Hamlin is seventh in the points standings.

    “This race was called the ‘NRA 500’ in 2013,” Hamlin said. “That was a scary day, especially for the No. 42 Target car.

    “Michael Waltrip dropped a taco on my car before the race. It wasn’t a big deal to me. It’s one thing to have hot sauce on your Toyota; it’s another to have hot sauce in your Toyota. Michael did; it was called ‘jet fuel.’”

    10. Jamie McMurray: McMurray finished sixth in the Duck Commander 500, scoring his third top-10 finish of the year.

    “Wow!” McMurray said. “There were stars of the ‘Duck Dynasty’ show in Victory Lane. I really would have loved to win this race so I could have met the one and only Willie Robertson. That way, the ‘McDaddy’ could have met the ‘Quack Daddy.’”

  • Hot 20 – Texas awaits as our thoughts are with a broadcaster back in the hospital

    Hot 20 – Texas awaits as our thoughts are with a broadcaster back in the hospital

    A week of rest, a week of contemplation, a week for those of faith. I so desperately pray that miracles do happen. Pit reporter Steve Byrnes is back in the hospital in his fight against neck and head cancer. He is in the ICU with pneumonia and a blood clot in his lung. At least he was able to tweet that information himself. This, more than anything I have written here, is the most meaningful and important. I could use some faith restoration about now. How about you?

    Kyle Larson missed Martinsville as doctors sought out a cause for his fainting at an event prior to the race. Today, they have the luxury to err on the side of caution as an injury no longer automatically means a championship run is done. This reduced pressure to race also means an injured driver no longer needs to feel compelled to climb back into the seat much too soon to keep his hopes alive. Even a suspension does not spell the end, as Kurt Busch sits a win away from proving. While it might be a trial for Kyle Busch to make the Chase with a win and Top 20 spot when he returns, Larson should be fine as Denny Hamlin was last season. He missed Fontana, yet finished 2014 in third.

    The National Network to End Domestic Violence is not happy Kurt Busch is back racing. To be honest, I believe there are more serious matters for them to hang their shingle. In this case, we had a questionable incident based on the opinion of a single Delaware judge from the questionable comments of two people over an incident in which little, if any, physical harm was caused. I applaud their vigilance, but I do question their bid to use this case as their cause celebre. For me, the issue has turned out to be more pathetic than violent.

    It has been announced that Cup regulars Aric Almirola and Sam Hornish Jr. will run even more XFINITY series events than they originally planned. It makes it easier to explain why some of us could not be bothered covering major leaguers kicking minor league butt week after week, season after season. Twenty-one-year-old Ryan Reed won at Daytona. Cup guys have won the other five, with Kevin Harvick taking two. Enough said.

    At least Chase Elliott won the spring XFINITY race in Texas a year ago. He is not a Cup regular just yet. As for the big boys…and girl…here are the…

    Hot 20 going down to Texas…

    1. Kevin Harvick – 2 Wins (263 Points)
    It wasn’t his tires up there on the Grassy Knoll.

    2. Joey Logano – 1 Win (239 Points)
    Won two weeks ago Saturday, third on that Sunday.

    3. Brad Keselowski – 1 Win (206 Points)
    Bloody Keselipski, according to the billboards in Texas.

    4. Denny Hamlin – 1 Win (172 Points)
    Only tire issues he had at Martinsville were during his burnout.

    5. Jimmie Johnson – 1 Win (168 Points)
    Won last three fall races in Fort Worth, but was 25th last spring.

    6. Martin Truex Jr – 231 Points
    It is nice when all one’s ducks and furniture is all in a row.

    7. Kasey Kahne – 193 Points
    Best Hendrick driver, by points, is ole what’s his name.

    8. Paul Menard – 173 Points
    Once one of two Childress drivers in the Hot 20…then Newman got tired, so to speak.

    9. Dale Earnhardt Jr – 172 Points
    According to Gordon, Junior doesn’t know squat…jumps.

    10. Aric Almirola – 170 Points
    More XFINITY for him, less seat time for others.

    11. Matt Kenseth – 168 Points
    Fort Worth is Matt’s kind of town.

    12. David Ragan – 163 Points
    Kyle Busch? I don’t know. The names does sound rather familiar, though.

    13. Casey Mears – 161 Points
    500-1 to win at Texas? Really? Is he driving it or running it?

    14. Jamie McMurray – 154 Points
    Claims he and Larson are ego free. I am hair free, but you don’t hear me bragging.

    15T Jeff Gordon – 148 Points
    Soft start followed by a trio of Top Tens.

    15T Danica Patrick – 148 Points
    From what we saw in the last race, Virginia really is for lovers…of Danica.

    15T Carl Edwards – 148 Points
    Has a million very good reasons to race for the win Saturday night.

    18. Clint Bowyer – 146 Points
    Truex left, Bowyer stayed. I wonder who got the best of that deal?

    19T A.J. Allmendinger – 138 Points
    Bush’s Beans is the sponsor. You wouldn’t want to be running behind him.

    19T Greg Biffle – 138 Points
    Has led at least a lap in 12 of the 20 Texas races he has run.

  • NASCAR Top-10 Power Rankings: Martinsville

    NASCAR Top-10 Power Rankings: Martinsville

    Note: The quotes in this article are fictional.

    1. Kevin Harvick: Harvick finished eighth at Martinsville, ending his streak of eight consecutive results of second or better. He remains atop the Sprint Cup points standings, 24 ahead of Joey Logano.

    “It was a disappointing finish,” Harvick said. “Not that eighth is bad, but I finished behind Danica Patrick. I guess my son Keelan’s cries of ‘Go Daddy!’ were heard by Danica and not me.”

    2. Joey Logano: Logano started on the pole at Martinsville and came home third, leading 108 laps in the STP 500. He is second in the points standings, 24 behind Kevin Harvick.

    “That race had it all,” Logano said. “Action, intrigue, fake cautions, you name it. Plus, there was controversy, because track management dumped Jesse Jones hot dogs for Valleydale. How could they? I’ve been called one, but this takes the term ‘undeserving weiner’ to a new level.”

    3. Brad Keselowski: Keselowski stalked Denny Hamlin over the final laps at Martinsville but couldn’t make the pass. Hamlin took the checkers while Keselowski settled for second.

    “The No. 2 Miller Lite was fast,” Keselowski said, “and I almost pulled it out. And that would have been nice. Had I won, you could have said the race itself, much like Kyle Larson, was ‘Lite-headed.’”

    4. Martin Truex Jr.: Truex led 23 laps and finished sixth at Martinsville, posting his sixth top 10 of the year. He is third in the points standings, 32 behind Kevin Harvick.

    “Kyle Larson missed the race after fainting Saturday at an autograph session,” Truex said. “Apparently, he signed ‘out.’ Don’t ask me what his condition is, because I don’t have the faintest. Somebody told me Fall Out Boy was signing autographs on Saturday. Turns out it was just Kyle Larson.”

    5. Dale Earnhardt Jr.: Earnhardt suffered a broken shifter early at Martinsville and was involved in a multi-car wreck on lap 228 that smashed the front end of the No. 88 Chevrolet. He eventually finished 36th, 47 laps behind.

    “Obviously,” Earnhardt said, “you can’t do shift without a shifter. And if you can’t change gears, a sorry finish becomes, well, ‘automatic.’

    “After a lengthy stint in the garage, the No. 88 returned to the track without a hood. That is, of course, bad news, but it comes with a silver lining. Trust me, when anything Earnhardt-related goes topless, I thank the lucky starts it’s the car and not one of my fans.”

    6. Jimmie Johnson: Johnson, an eight-time winner at Martinsville, suffered numerous issues at Martinsville on his way to a 35th-place finish.

    “My day at Martinsville had a lot in common with Chad Knaus’ history with the NASCAR rule book,” Johnson said. “There were ‘multiple issues.’

    “I’ve won eight times at Martinsville. Normally, when I race there, I say “Hot dog.’ Not on Sunday. I spent so much time with the hood up, there was no ‘hot dog,’ just ‘all the fixings.’”

    7. Kasey Kahne: Kahne finished 11th in the STP 500 as Hendrick teammate Jeff Gordon took ninth, while Jimmie Johnson and Dale Earnhardt Jr. struggled mightily. Kahne is now fifth in the points standings, 70 out of first.

    “Rick Hendrick had two cars in the top 11,” Kahne said, “and two cars finish 35th or worse. So you can understand why Martinsville’s half-mile left him with a ‘half-smile.’”

    8. Jeff Gordon: Gordon let a potential win slip away at Martinsville after a pit road speeding penalty cost him the lead with about 40 laps to go. Forced to the end of the lead lap, Gordon passed enough cars to salvage a ninth.

    “It’s never pleasant when you hear the words, ‘You’ve made a terrible mistake,’” Gordon said. “But I’d rather hear it from my crew chief than my divorce lawyer.”

    9. Denny Hamlin: Hamlin overcame an early penalty in the pits and held off Brad Keselowski to win the STP 500. Hamlin led the final 28 laps and is now eighth in the points standings, 91 behind Kevin Harvick.

    “We had a tire get away from us on pit road,” Hamlin said. “The same thing happened at California. We have a fast car, but instead of burning rubber, we keep getting burned by rubber.

    “But, I bounced back and kept Keselowski at bay, winning my fifth grandfather clock. He gave me a little nudge in the final turn. Had I wrecked, you can best believe, with a clock in mind, you would have seen ‘one hand on the 2.’”

    10. Matt Kenseth: Kenseth led 11 laps and finished fourth on a strong day for Joe Gibbs Racing. Denny Hamlin won the STP 500, while David Ragan took fifth.

    “Denny ended a 31-race winless streak for Joe Gibbs Racing,” Kenseth said. “What better place than Martinsville to end that streak. I think Denny said it best after being awarded the grandfather clock when he said, ‘It’s about time.’ To all of those who thought JGR was slipping, that’s just ‘Gibb-erish.’”

  • The Final Word – Martinsville brings us NASCAR’s Sad Lexicon

    The Final Word – Martinsville brings us NASCAR’s Sad Lexicon

    These are the saddest of possible words:
    “Denny or Joey or Brad.”
    A trio of dudes who are just for the birds,
    Denny or Joey or Brad.
    First, third, and second, my hopes turned to rubble
    After watching that finish, I need a double
    Words, for this fan, that are nothing but trouble:
    “Denny or Joey or Brad.”

    Kevin Harvick was going to win at Martinsville, or so I thought. Having led 154 laps, it was a logical expectation, but he wound up eighth. Jeff Gordon was going to win, then a late caution and a speeding penalty in the pits ended those dreams and left him ninth.

    After the final re-start, the leader board was topped by the trio of Denny Hamlin, Brad Keselowski, and Joey Logano. It never changed. Sure, Hamlin did probably the coolest burnouts I have seen in a long time but…but…it was Denny Hamlin. For the 34-year old, he greatly enhances his Chase aspirations with his 25th career victory on a day the Gibbs organization probably needed. More on that in a moment.

    For Gibbs Racing, Hamlin won, Matt Kenseth was fourth, David Ragan was fifth, while Carl Edwards was 17th. It was a good day for Penske, as well, with Keselowski and Logano. Stewart-Haas had a decent day as all four were within the Top 20, with Danica Patrick claiming seventh.

    Jimmie Johnson has eight Martinsville clocks, but a car that started bad and just got worse left him having to rely on his watch to tell the time, finishing 32 laps down in 35th. Dale Earnhardt Jr. won the timepiece last year, but this time his car vibrated bad enough to snap off his shifter more than once. Then he got in a bottleneck, ran into the back of Paul Menard, and really vibrated. Junior finished minus a new clock, a hood and fenders, to sit a spot behind Johnson.

    I tried poking my tires to cause teeny tiny holes, but all that was good for was to make the things go flat. There must be an art to it, but NASCAR says maintaining consistent air pressure in this fashion, thus maintaining balance in the car, is not the way to go about it. They have suspicions somebody might be doing it, and if they ever catch that somebody it will have very bad consequences for them.

    A bit of tinkering out in California to aid the aerodynamic properties of the part-time No. 33 ride has given crew chief Slugger Labbe a NASCAR enforced three week vacation. They caught something they did not like in opening day inspection and asked for a $50,000 financial contribution as well.

    NASCAR loves its rules. A tire rolling around in a pit box without a guiding hand is enough to get them all hot and bothered. However, have a jackass stomping on his brakes at the exit to pit row, stacking up his opponents, in order to avoid having to re-start in the outside lane, and we hear not a word. To be fair, I would expect the powers that be to address Mr. Hamlin’s new trick in short order to avoid what could soon become a very unpleasant situation.

    Being sick sucks. 22 year old Kyle Larson missed Martinsville after fainting Saturday during an autograph session. He feels fine, but doctors wanted to conduct a few more tests to make sure they know exactly what happened. Regan Smith filled in, finishing 16th. J.D. Gibbs is away from his dad’s race team with what seems to be post-concussion like symptoms, but the exact cause remains a mystery. Meanwhile, recent tests did not deliver the news we wanted for pit reporter Steve Byrnes in his fight with cancer. Our prayers are with him.

    There are many folks involved in NASCAR who have come to mean something to us, including talented announcers, executives, and drivers. Some we enjoy, others not so much. More than a hundred years ago, Joe Tinker, Johnny Evers, and Frank Chance were a double play combination for the Chicago Cubs and “Baseball’s Sad Lexicon” is said to have gone a long way in getting each elected into the Baseball Hall of Fame. So, if history repeats itself, to Denny Hamlin, Joey Logano, and Brad Keselowski, you are welcome.

  • Surprising and Not Surprising: Martinsville STP 500

    Surprising and Not Surprising: Martinsville STP 500

    From the first short track of the season with the grandfather clock as the trophy, here is what was surprising and not surprising from Martinsville Speedway’s STP 500.

    Surprising: Denny Hamlin embarked on his own version of the ‘Drive for Five’ while the driver trying for his fifth championship doomed his own chances of winning with a pit road speeding penalty late in the race.

    “Well, by no means did we have a smooth race at all, and we still won,” the driver of the No. 11 FedEx Express Toyota said after his fifth win at Martinsville. “So that to me shows what we’re capable of, and once we get everything worked out the way it needs to be and we’re back to our normal selves on pit road and we don’t have any penalties and everything just runs a smooth race, we can win a lot of these things.”

    Conversely, Jeff Gordon, with an eye on a fifth championship in his last full-time season, doomed his victory chances with a pit road speeding penalty on Lap 462, finishing in the ninth position in his No. 24 Axalta Chevrolet.

    “Oh my gosh, I’m so disappointed in myself,” Gordon said. “I felt like we finally got the car, got ourselves in a position to win the race. I knew I was pushing the limit but I didn’t think I had done anything different than I had all day. I’m very, very disappointed.”

    Not Surprising:  Although Chase Elliott made his first Cup debut, qualifying his way into the show, he joined his Hendrick teammates in having unusual struggles at Martinsville.

    Elliott finished 38th after some damage sustained early in the race, while teammates Jimmie Johnson and Dale Earnhardt, Jr. suffered not only damage from incidents on the track. but also mechanical problems to finish 35th and 36th respectively.

    “A lot of guys I think were having some transmission or gear problems,” Junior said. “We got some real bad vibration in the car 30 laps into the race and it just kept breaking the shifter. It was just swinging up there like a tuning fork.”

    “It was a tough race.”

    Surprising: While Team Penske seemed to experience some moral dilemmas about wrecking, they still managed to finish in the second and third positions respectively.

    Brad Keselowski, on one hand, wrestled with his conscience as to whether or not he should wreck Denny Hamlin for the win, while his teammate Joey Logano was hoping beyond hope that Keselowski and Hamlin would wreck each other so that he could have the win and the weekend of his life.

    “I did everything I could other than wreck him,” the driver of the No. 2 Miller Lite Ford said after the race. “Morals and racing are pretty subjective, but I just felt like I raced him the way I wanted to be raced and I guess that is what it is.”

    “I was hoping so,” the driver of the No. 22 Shell/Pennzoil Ford said when asked if he thought Keselowski and Hamlin might wreck each other. “That was my only shot at it once they got pretty far away.”

    “That was the only shot I had for the win.”

    Not Surprising: In NASCAR, records are made to be surpassed and broken and both happened at Martinsville. Martin Truex Jr. continued his streak of consecutive top-10 finishes for the sixth race in a row, while Kevin Harvick’s streak of top-2 finishes came to an end with his eighth place run.

    “It is awesome,” Truex Jr. said of his top-10 streak. “I can’t say enough about the team. Again to battle like we did today. We showed we never give up. We haven’t all year long. We haven’t given up on each other since I started here.”

    “It feels good to have another good run at one of my worst race tracks,” Truex continued. “Just can’t believe we were able to stay on the lead lap, fix the power steering and all that and drive back through there. It was a hell of an effort.”

    Although Harvick led the most laps, 154 of 500, the driver of the No. 4 Budweiser/Jimmy John’s Chevrolet lost track position on a late-race restart and simply could not recover.

    “I just got hung on the outside and couldn’t get back down,” Harvick said. “By the time I got down, I was 10th or 11th.”

    “Everybody did a good job, just lost track position at the wrong time.”

    Surprising: NASCAR seems to be in significant need of recovery, with the announcement of J. D. Gibbs facing a significant health issue and Kyle Larson fainting during an autograph session.

    “We’ve been dealing with this for about six months and basically what the doctor’s say is that they really don’t know,” Coach Joe Gibbs said of his son’s situation. “J.D. has lived a very active lifestyle. All the things that he’s done in his life physically he’s loved all sporting events and it’s everything from football to snowboarding, racing cars, racing motor bikes – he’s lived in a lot of ways for him, he loved all those things.”

    “We can’t point to any one serious thing that happened to him, certainly any injury is a possibility that led us into some of the symptoms that he’s experiencing now.”

    In addition to Gibbs, Kyle Larson suffered his own surprising health symptoms after passing out prior to the Martinsville race.

    After fainting at an autograph session in Martinsville, VA, Kyle Larson was first evaluated at a local hospital in Martinsville and ultimately evaluated at a Charlotte hospital,” Chip Ganassi Racing said in a prepared statement prior to the race. “Although all tests came back negative and Larson feels completely fine, the doctors felt he should be held for more testing.”

    Regan Smith, sub extraordinaire, filled Larson’s seat and after starting from the back of the field in the No. 42 Target Chevrolet, managed a respectable 16th place finish.

    Not Surprising: In spite of scoring his first ever top-five at Martinsville, David Ragan had nothing but thoughts of Kyle Busch, for whom he continues to substitute in the No. 18 M&M’s Crispy Toyota, and his recovery from injuries sustained at Daytona.

    “I just hope I helped the 18 team for the Chase race later in the year,” Ragan said. “We’ll enjoy Easter and I cannot wait to get to Texas.”

    Surprising: Smoke surprisingly got in the eyes of both Austin Dillon and AJ Allmendinger. The two Chevrolet drivers both had motor issues that determined their 41st and 43rd place finishes.

    “I’m not sure what the exact problem was with the motor,” Allmendinger, driver of the No. 47 Bush’s Beans Chevrolet said. “I noticed some smoke start rolling in the car and I could see it start out of the back of the car.”

    “I was smoking so bad they black flagged me.”

    “Yeah it was a motor issue,” Dillon, driver of the No. 3 Cheerios Chevrolet, said. “I think the same things as the No. 47. We just have to do a better job of going through our procedures at ECR right now. We have some power but we are not finishing races.”

    Not Surprising: It was a weekend of celebration for the Gilliland family, with dad David, in his 300th Cup start, having his best run ever at Martinsville with a 25th place finish and 14 year-old-son son Todd winning his first Late Model Stock Car race at Southern National Motorsports Park.

    “I’m proud of the guys,” Gilliland, driver of the No. 38 Love’s Travel Stops Ford, said. “The pit stops were good and this was the best I’ve personally ever run here, so we’ll build from it.”

    “And I couldn’t be prouder of my son,” Gilliland continued. “He’s a great young man and a great race car driver. I think he proved a lot with his win.”

    “I’m so glad I was racing in Martinsville this weekend so I could drive down to see this race.”

    Surprising: The penalty of uncontrolled tires in the pits continued to dominate. There were five such penalties in the Martinsville race, adding to the total of 21 of these out-of-control tires for the season.

    Not Surprising: Danica Patrick about summed it all up at Martinsville. When asked, how she avoided the wrecking on the track, she asked “Well, which one are you talking about?”

    “That’s kind of the way it goes at Martinsville,” the driver of the No. 10 TaxAct Chevrolet said. “I think all four corners were banged up.”

    “It’s all a matter of luck, too,” Patrick continued. “I could have got drilled from the back and hit into the car. I could have swerved to the right and had somebody clip my right rear and spun, somebody could have been out there.”

    “Crashes are about observing where you’re at and making a good decision about where to go, but they’re also about luck. I got lucky that there was nothing in my way to get around that one. That would have probably wrecked my day.”

    Patrick finished seventh at the track known as the ‘Paper Clip’, tying her second-best career finish in the Cup Series.

     

  • NASCAR Top-10 Power Rankings: California

    NASCAR Top-10 Power Rankings: California

    Note: The quotes in this article are fictional.

    1. Kevin Harvick: Harvick finished second in the Auto Club 400, extending his amazing streak with his eighth consecutive top-two finish. He continues to lead the Sprint Cup points standings, and holds a 28-point cushion over Joey Logano.

    “Who’s going to stop me in my quest to defend my Cup championship?” Harvick said. “It appears no one is willing to step up. In the last eight races, I’ve won four times and finished second four times. I win and I ‘place;’ is anyone else going to ‘show?’”

    2. Joey Logano: Logano finished seventh at California as Penske Racing teammate Brad Keselowski took the win.

    “Brad stole that win from Kurt Busch,” Logano said. “Luckily for Brad, Kyle Larson’s bumper flew off, bringing out the caution that Brad needed. A bumper is real debris, debris you can actually see. Can something invisible, like a stiff wind, necessitate a yellow flag? NASCAR would likely say ‘Yes.’ I guess that would be called a ‘da breeze’ caution.”

    3. Jimmie Johnson: Johnson finished ninth at Fontana, posting his third top 10 of the year. He is fourth in the points standings, 66 out of first.

    “It was a solid day for Hendrick Motorsports,” Johnson said, “but the return of Kurt Busch has made Stewart-Haas Racing a real powerhouse. Busch has really been on fire since his reinstatement. It appears the line between being outlawed and being the ‘Outlaw’ is a significant one. But is Busch really a threat to win the Sprint Cup championship. Until he’s holding the Cup, I’m not convinced. So, he’s innocent until proven guilty.”

    4. Dale Earnhardt Jr.: Earnhardt posted his fourth top-10 finish of the year with a sixth at Fontana, rebounding strongly from his last place result in Phoenix.

    “I lost a lot of track position,” Earnhardt said, “when I got stuck behind Greg Biffle on a late restart. There’s nothing worse that getting stuck behind a slow car on a restart, except for getting stuck behind the wheel of a Roush Fenway Racing car.”

    5. Martin Truex Jr.: Truex’s hot start to the season continued with an eighth in the Auto Club 500. He has five consecutive top 10’s and is fifth in the points standings, 33 out of first.

    “Kurt Busch won the pole for Sunday’s race, Truex said. “I asked Kurt’s ex-girlfriend, Patricia Driscoll, about the race, and, not surprisingly, she said, ‘He started it.’

    “It was a wild finish at Fontana. And to capitalize on that result, Furniture Row is offering their own ‘wild finish,’ a tiger-striped design on a coffee table.”

    6. Brad Keselowski: Keselowski passed Busch on the final lap to seize the win in a dramatic Auto Club 500. Keselowski took four tires during the final caution, giving him the necessary advantage on the Fontana track’s abrasive surface.

    “I apologize if I made Kurt hit the wall,” Keselowski said. “He should consider himself lucky, that it’s only one wall and not four that he’s dealing with.”

    7. Ryan Newman: Newman finished fifth in the Auto Club 400, posting his third consecutive top-five result. He is seventh in the Sprint Cup points standings, 63 behind Kevin Harvick.

    “There were a lot of mysterious cautions thrown on Sunday in California,” Newman said. “That surely didn’t make Kurt Busch happy. Kurt may complain about ‘yellow flags being raised,’ as opposed to his girlfriends, who are concerned about all the red flags raised.”

    8. Kurt Busch: Busch started on the pole at California and had a win in hand until a late caution presented Brad Keselowski the opportunity to take four tires. Keselowski then passed Busch on the final green-white-checkered finish while Busch brushed the wall trying to regain position.

    “You may say I hit the wall,” Busch said, “but I deny it.

    “As conspiracy theories go, my favorite is the one that says NASCAR threw the cautions to prevent me from winning. Sure, they granted me a waiver for the Chase, but all those yellows served as ‘wavers’ to keep me out of the Chase.”

    9. Jeff Gordon: Gordon finished 10th at California as Hendrick Motorsports placed three cars in the top 10.

    “I counted at least three ‘phantom’ cautions in Sunday’s race,” Gordon said. “And you know that means: if there are ‘phantoms,’ then there are ‘ghosts.’ And that’s bad news for NASCAR, because this sport just got even whiter.”

    10. Paul Menard: Menard recorded his best finish of the year with a fourth in the Auto Club 400. He is ninth in the points standings, 73 out of first.

    “Richard Childress could be kicking himself for letting Kevin Harvick leave after the 2013 season,” Menard said. “But at some point, even if something or someone has been getting under your skin, you just have to ‘let it go.’ I think Richard exemplifies that very well.”

  • NASCAR Top-10 Power Rankings: Phoenix

    NASCAR Top-10 Power Rankings: Phoenix

    Note: The quotes in this article are fictional.

    1. Kevin Harvick: Harvick started on the pole at Phoenix and won as expected, rolling to his fourth consecutive win at Phoenix International Raceway. He sits high atop the Sprint Cup points standings, 22 ahead of Joey Logano.

    “You can call me ‘Happy,’” Harvick said, “but you might as well call me ‘Tarp,’ because I had the field covered.

    “I’ve got four top-two finishes to start the season. No one has done that since Richard Petty in 1974. And speaking of ‘Kings,’ I rule.”

    2. Joey Logano: Logano finished eighth at Phoenix after starting second on the grid and leading 35 laps. He is second in the points standings, 22 behind Kevin Harvick.

    “No one can catch Harvick,” Logano said. “As such, it looks like the ‘Chase’ has started early this year.

    “I won the Xfinity Series race on Saturday. That race was called the ‘Xalta Faster. Tougher. Brighter. 200.’ It wasn’t much of a race, but it did have something that no other race in NASCAR history had, and that’s punctuation.”

    3. Jimmie Johnson: Johnson finished 11th at Phoenix as Kevin Harvick dominated, leading 224 of 312 laps. Johnson is seventh in the points standings, 58 behind Harvick.

    “Harvick has been on a tear,” Johnson said. “They say this level of dominance hasn’t been seen since Richard Petty in 1974. I say it goes back further than that, to a time in racing when dirt tracks were the norm, because everyone is eating dust.”

    4. Dale Earnhardt Jr.: Earnhardt blew a right rear tire on lap 180 at Phoenix and slammed the wall, ending his day with a last place finish.

    “The No. 88 Hendrick Chevrolet was fast,” Earnhardt said, “but the surface at Phoenix is really tough on rubber. So, there’s a fine line separating ‘Hell On Wheels’ from ‘Hell On Tires.’”

    5. Martin Truex Jr.: Truex continued his solid start to the season with a seventh at Phoenix, giving him four top 10s in four races this year. He is fourth in the points standings, 27 behind Kevin Harvick.

    “We’ve been consistent,” Truex said, “but we won’t be satisfied until we win. Some say that we can’t. On that note, Furniture Row offers upholstery in several patterns, but none in ‘checkers.’”

    6. Kasey Kahne: Kahne took fourth in the CampingWorld.Com 500 on Sunday, posting his first top-five result of the year. He sits fourth in the points standings, 50 behind Kevin Harvick.

    “I finished just ahead of Kurt Busch,” Kahne said. “Kurt was all over me, and, depending on who you ask, there may have been contact.

    “Is it right that no domestic abuse charges were filed against Kurt? Who am I to say? I can say this: I don’t mind racing against the ‘Outlaw,’ but I surely wouldn’t want him as an inlaw.”

    7. AJ Allmendinger: Allmendinger placed 17th at Phoenix and is now sixth in the Sprint Cup points standings, 55 out of first.

    “We didn’t get the finish we wanted,” Allmendinger said, “but I still had a great time. Grammy-nominated band Tonic played a pre-race concert, and boy, did that really get my blood pumping. Talk about a ‘band stimulant.’”

    8. Jeff Gordon: Gordon finished ninth at Phoenix as Hendrick Motorsports cars took three of the top 11 spots.

    “I’m on a quest for my fifth championship,” Gordon said. “Kevin Harvick appears well on his way to his second. Just a few words of advice for Kevin: before you can be ‘three-time’ or ‘four-time,’ you have to be ‘two-timed.’ And I have, on and off the track.”

    9. Ryan Newman: Newman finished third in the CampingWorld.Com 500, recording his second straight third-place finish.

    “Kevin Harvick was unstoppable,” Newnam said. “There was a time in my career when I wished I could be just like Harvick and join Richard Childress Racing. Now, I want to be even more like Harvick and leave RCR, because that’s when the wins and championships happen.”

    10. Brad Keselowski: Keselowski finished sixth in the CampingWorld.Com 500 in Phoenix, joining Penske Racing teammate Joey Logano, who finished eighth, in the top 10.

    “After a slow start to the season,” Keselowski said, “we’re back on track. I’ve got three top-10 finishes in a row after finishing 41st at Daytona. But to keep up with Kevin Harvick, we’re really gonna have to ‘push.’

    “My crew chief Paul Wolfe was placed on probation for an entire season. NASCAR should try putting the whole sport on probation, just to make sure it’s being ‘watched.’”