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Hot 20 – Pocono, where some things just do not matter

As the boys and girl venture to Pocono for their second visit to the venue in 56 days, there are some things that matter and some that do not. Dale Earnhardt Jr.’s recovery from his concussion issues matters, him making the Chase does not in comparison. Kevin Harvick is missing his crew chief after some lug nuts went AWOL at Indianapolis. With a win and the points lead, it does not matter.

XFINITY races do not matter, but they matter enough to Brad Keselowski to head out to Iowa to be the lone Cup representative. Camping World truck racing does not matter, it appears, in the land of hockey, curling, and Don Cherry. Danica Patrick matters to women, to sponsors, and to folks who just like attractive people, but buried once again 24th in the standings despite some good equipment, she does not matter on the track.

Pocono matters to Kasey Kahne, Trevor Bayne, and Ryan Blaney if they wish to keep their Chase hopes viable. It matters to Jamie McMurray and Kyle Larson, who do not want themselves finishing behind that trio to find their own positions threatened.

Live event attendance does not matter, as only 50,000 bothered to turn out to the Brickyard last weekend. It still might matter for those at home, as it seems NBC was pleased with its ratings. Imagine the savings if pro sport venues did not have to put in seating, concessions, or parking, as we all watched the action from our living rooms. Many of us are already doing that. You would think that would matter enough to some.

To that end, I have my own concession, private washroom facilities, a comfortable chair, a big screen television, my remote control, and our Hot 20 going into Pocono. What more do I need?

1. BRAD KESELOWSKI – 4 WINS (647 Pts)
Watkins Glen testing crash appears to have knocked Cup’s big dog all the way to Iowa.

2. KYLE BUSCH – 4 WINS (601 Pts)
Best damn driver in NASCAR today…and Keelan Harvick would agree.

3. CARL EDWARDS – 2 WINS (593 Pts)
It can be fun to chase your car up the hill, except when other drivers catch it first.

4. JIMMIE JOHNSON – 2 WINS (552 Pts)
#2 in merchandise sales. You know who is #1.

5. MATT KENSETH – 2 WINS (545 Pts)
Top five are locked into the Chase.

6. KEVIN HARVICK – 1 WIN (671 Pts)
No lug nuts, no crew chief. It appears that is how NASCAR rolls.

7. KURT BUSCH – 1 WIN (627 Pts)
Shares record for running every lap for opening 20 races of a season. Pocono would be 21.

8. JOEY LOGANO – 1 WIN (606 Pts)
Some say maturity is the biggest reason Kyle is where he is today. There may be hope for Joey.

9. MARTIN TRUEX JR. – 1 WIN (573 Pts)
The last three winners at Pocono are Kurt, Matt, and this guy.

10. DENNY HAMLIN – 1 WIN (542 Pts)
Lending his support to West Virginia, the land of coal and way too much water.

11. TONY STEWART – 1 WIN (317 Pts)
Will he and Jeff Gordon take another final lap around Pocono, too?

12. CHASE ELLIOTT – 525 PTS
Some claim he is experiencing rookie growing pains. If he is, I think he can tough it out.

13. AUSTIN DILLON – 520 PTS
If GM Goodwrench would only come back, my NASCAR jacket would again be contemporary.

14. RYAN NEWMAN – 507 PTS
Secret to success at Pocono? Stay the hell away from Edwards.

15. JAMIE MCMURRAY – 496 PTS
I have been blamed for driving at Indianapolis. No, that was Jamie in the No. 1 in overtime.

16. KYLE LARSON – 472 PTS
Target leaving IndyCar, though Larson’s sponsorship good through 2017.

17. KASEY KAHNE – 462 PTS
38 major brands backed NASCAR drivers at Indianapolis…but All-State is not among them.

18. DALE EARNHARDT JR. – 461 PTS
It is going to take time to return, it is going to take a win to make the Chase…if there is time.

19. TREVOR BAYNE – 458 PTS
No more room for error or misadventure. The time is now.

20. RYAN BLANEY – 450 PTS
Also said to be experiencing rookie growing pains. Okay, he might need some relief.

July 27, 2016
The Final Word – Wouldn’t you hate having a Daytona night like Kurt, Carl, Jamie, Jimmie…

“I hate that I…” I love that phrase. It is the prelude to expressing some measure of regret for some on track transgression in the hopes that these mere words will make everything alright. For instance, “I hate that I got into Kurt [Busch] there at the end racing to the line.” So says Joey Logano after Busch got dumped on the final lap, crossing the line spinning backward in 23rd place Saturday night at Daytona. Well, doesn’t that just make everything just wonderful?

I mean, “I hate that my dog ate my homework, so I got nothing for you.” Maybe “I hate that my excess speed forced you to have to chase me down, officer.” One could try “I hate you found me in the arms of another.” Lovely sentiments, but without any reference to restitution, to make good on what had gone bad, rather meaningless.

To be honest, while Kurt was not pleased, he did sound mature in describing how any hope he had to charge to the front went sideways thanks to Logano. Not a curse word, no profanity, no vivid descriptions of where Joey could shove his weak apology, not a single declaration of revenge. It was damn near genteel.

Brad Keselowski, a man not known for his genteel nature, finally won at Daytona, and like most results on this particular track he had a lot of company coming to the line. Of course, being Daytona, he had less company than when they started. Ninety laps in, Jamie McMurray drifted up, drifted down, touched the side of Kyle Larson, and went back up in front of Jimmie Johnson. McMurray had scraped off a bit of speed. Johnson had not, and bad things happened. Seventeen other drivers got involved as folks got twisted in front of others, or simply run over from those charging from behind.

Thus ended the day for the two principles of the mayhem, along with Kevin Harvick, Paul Menard, Regan Smith and Brian Scott. Scott was the man sitting in 30th place, just nine points ahead of Tony Stewart when the green flag waved. That meant Smoke just needed to finish 28th or better to move into the position, making his win at Sonoma count, and launching him forward in the standings. Stewart finished 26th. Things were going well for him, at least until his back end did a little flutter with a dozen laps remaining, and he got punted into the fence to conclude his activities. Still, he had a goal and he met it, albeit barely.

Mishaps bent them and shaped them, as the American Breed might have sung back in the 60’s, to leave some running but laps in the dust. Danica Patrick, Matt Kenseth, Martin Truex Jr., Kasey Kahne and Chase Elliott were among those finishing just behind Stewart, between 27th and 32nd. A wreck halted Carl Edwards at 25th.

Keselowski, with his third of the season, was joined by Logano and Austin Dillon with expected Top Tens. Trevor Bayne, Ricky Stenhouse Jr., Greg Biffle and Clint Bowyer were not expected, but hopeful. It moves Bayne to within six points of 16th sitting McMurray on the ladder, as Stenhouse and Biffle are both less than 20 points out. Michael McDowell was 10th and probably more than happy with that result, as he has run eight more races than Stewart, collecting 18 fewer points. Saturday was a good day.

This weekend brings more Saturday action, as the boys and girl head to Kentucky for just the sixth time. Keselowski has two, Kyle Busch the first and the last, with Kenseth taking the race in 2013. Mind you, Johnson has also done well there, with a quintet of Top Tens. As to who needs to do what, Stewart will be okay as long as Scott and Smith remain behind him.

As for Ryan Blaney and McMurray, wouldn’t you just hate for any of the five drivers within 21 points of replacing them among our Chasers do just that this Saturday night? I bet they would.

July 4, 2016
The View From My Recliner – Smoke is on Fire!

In the middle of what should have been an amazing weekend for Tony Stewart, Smoke has shown that he is had enough and Homestead can’t get here soon enough for him.

Coming off his solid run in Michigan, Stewart was running in the top-five in practice at Sonoma when he came up on slower cars heading into turn 11 and it set off the fireworks. Later in practice, Jamie McMurray cut him off and received the one-finger salute from the three-time champion.

After practice, Stewart said to the gathered media, “I’m ready to go run stuff that makes me happy and driving a Sprint Cup car does not make me happy right now. A lot of things have changed. The atmosphere has changed. There is so much stuff in the garage area that has changed that it was time for me to make a change with it.

“I’ve dedicated 18 years of my life to this series and it’s done great by me,” Stewart said. “I’ve made a great living doing it, but at the same time, there are other things in life I want to do other than be at a NASCAR track three days a week for 38 weekends out of 52 weeks a year. There are just other things I want to do now.”

Reading Stewart’s quotes to the media makes me wonder about the shape NASCAR is in as a sport. One thing that Stewart has said was when he was coming up, drivers learned from Mark Martin, didn’t cross Dale Earnhardt and would get a lecture from Rusty Wallace if they didn’t obey the unofficial rules of practice or the race.

Folks, please take notice. NASCAR is a better place with Tony Stewart in the race car and in the garage. Tony Stewart basically said yesterday he can’t wait to be done with NASCAR. That is sad.

The state of NASCAR is up in the air.

The majority of competitive NASCAR team owners are in their 60s and 70s, Who is the next group of racers who want to own teams? How many drivers are in cars because they bring sponsorship with them? Paul Menard, Brian Scott and Danica Patrick are drivers who are either funded by family companies or just a marketing machine and probably not in their rides without the sponsorship they bring to the table.

The XFINITY Series can’t develop the next group of drivers because they will run with the funding Cup drivers bring with them to theXFINITY Series rather than take a chance on a good young driver like Ryan Truex, Corey LaJoie and Brandon McReynolds.

Attendance is down everywhere and television ratings are down, where is the opportunity to grow the sport?

The television contract with Fox Sports 1 and NBC Sports Network put more races on cable networks that are building an audience from scratch and people are too fickle or lazy to go searching for what channel it is on.

A couple comments from a post-practice interview yesterday, really made me question where does NASCAR go from here? Think about it, if Tony Stewart doesn’t want to be in Sprint Cup racing, why would anyone else want to watch it?

June 25, 2016
Hot 20 – Michigan will be great, because Stone Cold Keselowski said so

A new aero package combined with reduced down and side force should mean more passing at Michigan this weekend, as well as at Kentucky later in the year. Wonderful, just wonderful. Now all that needs to happen is that it actually happens.

Four drivers did the testing, four drivers are apparently all giddy about it. Brad Keselowski is all excited about it. Then again, ole Brad was all tingly about that All-Star format he is said to have come up with, and we know how that turned out. We shall see, we shall see.

Greg Biffle is nowhere to be found amongst our Hot 20, but he does have four wins at Michigan. This week, he said he believes fans are just as passionate as they always were, but there are just so many ways to follow the sport than just showing up at the track or watching the action on television. I think the Biff is wrong. Where are all those celebrities who once asked us, “How bad have you got it?” The few who show up today do so only to promote a movie that often sucks, to be honest with you. There is no buzz anymore.

The only near guarantee of great action can be found at venues such as Daytona, Talladega, and Bristol. We tune in such milestone events as the Southern 500, the World 600, and the Brickyard 400, along with the novelty presented by the road courses. That constitutes just 11 of the 36 races on the calendar. The rest are generic goofy sponsor named events with little drawing power against baseball, football, hockey, basketball or just a damn nice day outside with the family. If Biffle figures the passion remains even though the fans do not, he is sadly mistaken.

So, why bother? Well, I am a NASCAR fan. I want to see if the brainiacs have actually stumbled upon something to make Michigan a race to watch. I want to see how the big dogs perform, even that damned irritating Keselowski and the equally delightful Joey Logano. I want to see Tony Stewart do something positive before he makes his career exit. I want to see if Dale Earnhardt Jr. might win. Who doesn’t? In fact, I want to see how each of the below listed 20 drivers perform and to see if someone outside can shake things up with a win. I would be thrilled if Danica Patrick could be that person. I would be shocked if it came to pass.

That is why I will be watching the Hot 20 and the rest this Sunday at Michigan.

1. KYLE BUSCH – 3 WINS (416 PTS)
Well, that is one way to keep Rowdy out of Victory Lane.

2. BRAD KESELOWSKI – 2 WINS (442 PTS)
I think if Brad were a political candidate, I might have to vote for the other guy…just because.

3. CARL EDWARDS – 2 WINS (437 PTS)
Visited Loudon this week. He wants to win. He wants to eat the lobster. Let the protests begin.

4. JIMMIE JOHNSON – 2 WINS (415 PTS)
This NASCAR Johnson likes his drinks from a can. The other Johnson liked his from a jar.

5. KEVIN HARVICK – 1 WIN (490 PTS)
Happy might not win on Sunday, but his odds of finishing second are pretty good.

6. KURT BUSCH – 1 WIN (465 PTS)
If he missed his crew chief last week, he did a poor job of showing it.

7. MARTIN TRUEX JR. – 1 WIN (403 PTS)
Girlfriend Sherry is from Michigan and a fan of the Wings. Hence, this is now Truex country.

8. MATT KENSETH – 1 WIN (382 PTS)\
A restart on your computer should end your problems. On the track, they just began for Matt.

9. DENNY HAMLIN – 1 WIN (372 PTS)
Won the Daytona 500. What more do you want?

10. CHASE ELLIOTT – 413 PTS
Few would be surprised if his first win comes very, very soon.

11. JOEY LOGANO – 410 PTS
The new “old” Kurt Busch? I wonder what Jimmy Spencer is up to these days?

12. DALE EARNHARDT JR. – 381 PTS
What is worse than being a bridesmaid again? That damn unusable ugly dress.

13. AUSTIN DILLON – 348 PTS
Very proud of his grandfather and boss, one of NASCAR’s latest Hall of Famers.

14. JAMIE MCMURRAY – 342 PTS
An average finish of 16.6 might not sound great, but a 14.0 or better gets you in the Top Ten.

15. RYAN BLANEY – 340 PTS
You know, the “other” rookie is not doing too bad himself.

16. RYAN NEWMAN – 338 PTS
I wonder if Newman got Logano’s attention at Pocono?

17. A.J. ALLMENDINGER – 334 PTS
Ernie Cope was on the box at Pocono, cousin Derrike was on David Letterman in 1990.

18. KASEY KAHNE – 325 PTS
Dover penalty is the difference between 18th and a place in the Chase.

19. RICKY STENHOUSE JR. – 325 PTS
Escorted Danica Patrick to Nashville last night for the CMT’s.

20. TREVOR BAYNE – 319 PTS
Got to see Danica present an award with Kelly Pickler, watching television like the rest of us.

June 8, 2016
The Final Word – Not all would agree that Monday was a great day for motor car racing

Weather forced a day delay at Pocono, and was it worth the wait? For me, it was, though I could not help but notice that it was a day too late for some who might have been in the grandstands. Soon, NASCAR will institute a dress code where fans must wear the same color as the seats in their section so everything will just blend in on television.

It was worth it for Kurt Busch. With his crew chief Tony Gibson on the shelf due to a lug nut related suspension, team engineer John Klausmeier sat on the box and apparently liked the view. If you remember, he took over last year when Gibson was suddenly advised to jettison his appendix. For a car that arrived on fumes, Kurt sure had more than enough to get those burnouts in as he claimed his 28th career victory.

Dale Earnhardt Jr. and Brad Keselowski were the runners-up, with young Chase Elliott just behind them. Not sure if ole Brad will collect all his points, as post-race the car had an honor guard of NASCAR officials surrounding it. Something tells me “they who must be obeyed” are not happy. Earlier in the day, the shoulder of jackman Braxton Brannon reshaped the side of Keselowski’s car and it was required to return to pit road to have that alteration corrected. Come to think of it, wasn’t Brannon the same guy Keselowski clipped in a pit road incident last August at the same track? It would seem that being a jackman is truly a full contact position.

It was not worth it for Martin Truex Jr. to wait a day. He got slammed on pit road early by Matt DiBenedetto to leave him 19th on the day. As for DiBenedetto, it was a day better spent at a barbecue, as the Truex incident was the first of at least three times he was featured in a negative light, but none of them was his fault. He finished dead last after a crash. Another wreck took place with Tony Stewart’s car getting loose at the wrong place at the wrong time, as his employee Danica Patrick was left with no choice but to pile into the boss. Too bad, as Stewart appeared to have a Top Ten car. That leaves him with a dozen races to pick up a win and make up the 71 point difference between his current position and 30th place in order to make the Chase.

Sunday’s storm clouds left the sky but were all over the track. When Kasey Kahne cut below Ryan Newman, it shot Newman up into Kyle Busch who found the fence. Rowdy would not be the only top contender to be outside the Top 30 when things came to a conclusion. Jimmie Johnson was near the front on a restart, but found himself too low for his car to handle, and it stepped out and stepped into the inside barrier. Five laps earlier, Austin Dillon had wrecked on Turn One. That leaves him just 14 points to the good among the current Chase placers, down from 36 coming into Pocono.

June is a great time to be a racing fan in Michigan. On Sunday, Will Power won the IndyCar event while the boys and girl from NASCAR make an appearance this Sunday…weather permitting, of course.

June 6, 2016
NASCAR Top-10 Power Rankings: Dover

Note: The quotes in this article are fictional.

1. Kyle Busch: Busch was one of many cars damaged on a lap 352 restart when Jimmie Johnson’s car got locked in second gear, causing a major incident that took out a number of contenders.

“There was a time,” Busch said, “that when you mentioned ’18-car crash,’ people thought you were talking about just me.”

2. Kevin Harvick: Harvick led a race-high 117 laps at Dover but was a victim of a huge pileup with 47 laps to go triggered by Jimmie Johnson’s slow car. Harvick finished 15th, one lap down.

“Once again,” Harvick said, “I had the strongest car in the field but didn’t win the race. Carl Edwards would call that ‘choking.’”

3. Kurt Busch: Busch finished fifth at Dover, one of only fourteen cars on the lead lap at race’s end. He is third in the points standings, 32 out of first.

“There are rumors that my Stewart-Haas Racing teammate Kevin Harvick has an offer to join Hendrick Motorsports,” Busch said. “He would presumably replace Kasey Kahne, who’s under contract through the 2018 season. That means Kahne’s contract would have to be bought out in order for Harvick to join HMS. So, once again, I’m reporting that an acquaintance of mine is a ‘contract killer.’”

4. Carl Edwards: Edwards led 27 laps at Dover before late contact with Kyle Larson’s No. 42 car sent Edwards’ No. 19 Toyota into the wall. Edwards finished 28th, 41 laps off the pace.

“I think most drivers were impressed by the way Larson raced Matt Kenseth in the closing laps,” Edwards said. “But there’s no way anyone was more impressed by Larson’s patience than Kenseth.”

5. Brad Keselowski: Keselowski led 49 laps and survived contact with Austin Dillon’s No. 3 car to post a sixth in the AAA 400, his seventh top-10 result of the year.

“I advocated making some slight adjustments to the Chase format,” Keselowski said. “NASCAR officials didn’t want to hear it, though. I guess they had enough talk of ‘tweaking’ when Jeremy Mayfield was driving.”

6. Jimmie Johnson: On a restart with 47 laps to go, Johnson’s No. 48 Chevrolet locked gears, leading to a chain reaction crash behind him that affected 18 cars. Johnson limped home with a 25th at Dover.

“I’m not sure what went wrong,” Johnson said. “All I know is instead of ‘Six-time,’ guys in the garage were calling me ‘Fix-time.’”

7. Joey Logano: Like many, Logano’s No. 22 Penske Ford was caught in the restart accident with 47 laps to go, resulting in a 22nd-place finish.

“As was the case last fall at Martinsville,” Logano said, “I got wrecked and Matt Kenseth came out the winner.”

8. Chase Elliott: Elliott finished third at Dover, scoring his third consecutive top 10 and again leading the charge for Hendrick Motorsports. He is seventh in the Sprint Cup points standings, 77 out of first.

“I’m not surprised at all I’m doing so well,” Elliott said. “I would say, ‘It’s no accident,’ but that may be considered a poor choice of words considering what happened to the rest of the HMS crew.”

9. Martin Truex Jr.: Truex’s misfortune continued at Dover, as his No. 78 Furniture Row Toyota was damaged in the big wreck with 47 laps to go. Despite the damage, Truex scrambled to salvage a ninth-place finish and is now ninth in the points standings, 82 out of first.

“This team is cursed,” Truex said. “This team is also cursing, because we are sick and tired of our bad luck. It’s too bad NASCAR outlawed cigarette manufacturers from sponsorships because we would definitely want Lucky Strike on our car.”

10. Matt Kenseth: Kenseth won the AAA 400 at Dover, avoiding a huge crash that wiped out much of the field and holding off Kyle Larson for the win.

“I knew Larson was coming for me,” Kenseth said. “You could say ‘I had a Target on my back.’

“But I admire Kyle’s integrity in racing me clean for the win. Just ask Kyle Busch—there’s a fine line between racing a JGR driver like a gentlemen and racing a JGR driver like a teammate.”

May 17, 2016
NASCAR Top-10 Power Rankings: Kansas

Note: The quotes in this article are fictional.

1. Kyle Busch: Busch held off Kevin Harvick down the stretch to win the GoBowling,com 400 at Kansas. Busch is second in the Sprint Cup points standings, four behind Harvick.

“Harvick got right on my bumper,” Busch said, “and I thought for sure he’d bump me to get by. But he didn’t. Of course, everybody, Landon Cassill included, knows that Harvick is a man of great integrity. He would never wreck someone just so he could win a race. He would, however, wreck someone just so he could advance to the next round of the Chase.”

2. Kevin Harvick: Harvick was strong late at Kansas and nearly overtook Kyle Busch for the lead, but ultimately settled for second.

“I hit a piece of debris and damaged the splitter,” Harvick said. “Otherwise, I would have passed Busch easily. So, you could say that ‘piece of trash’ won.”

3. Carl Edwards: Edwards tagged the wall early in the GoBowling.com 400, causing a flat tire that ultimately cost him two laps. But the No. 19 Stanley Tools team recovered to finish 11th. Edwards is third in the points standings, 23 out of first.

“I indeed hit the wall,” Edwards said, “but the damage was not severe. That’s a testament to the great engineering that goes into making these walls safe. So, while I can’t expect Kyle Busch to be, I can certainly expect walls to be ‘forgiving.’”

4. Brad Keselowski: Keselowski took 10th at Kansas, surviving a spin with 26 laps to go to post his sixth top 10 finish of the year.

“I got loose racing with Denny Hamlin,” Keselowski said. “Interestingly enough, there was no contact between us. That’s certainly not the first time Hamlin and I have looked at each other ‘sideways.’”

5. Jimmie Johnson: Johnson finished 17th at Kansas, his day sidetracked by a late pit road speeding penalty that cost him crucial track position.

“Track position was everything at Kansas,” Johnson said. “If you didn’t already know, ‘track position’ is NASCAR code for ‘it’s impossible to pass.’ That’s why you saw so many pit road speeding penalties. That’s where the action is. And that’s why, when you ask a driver about racing at Kansas, they always say, ‘It’s the pits.’”

6. Kurt Busch: Busch finished third in the GoBowling.com 400, recording his third top-five result of the year.

“Kansas Motor Speedway had a special booth set up where fans could buy a bowling ball and have finger holes drilled to their exact specifications,” Busch said. “They also had televisions broadcasting the race so fans wouldn’t miss a single minute. So, if you asked anyone what was going on in that booth or the race track, they’d tell you the same thing: ‘It’s boring.’”

7. Joey Logano: Logano slammed into Denny Hamlin’s No. 11 Toyota after Hamlin and Brad Keselowski got loose in a lap 221 incident. The wreck sent the No. 22 Penske Ford to the garage and Logano finished 38th.

“Matt Kenseth and I spoke before the Kansas race,” Logano said, “and came to some sort of mutual understanding about our past issues. But it’s a tenuous peace treaty. We weren’t quite ready to shake hands, so instead, we just shook fists.”

8. Dale Earnhardt Jr.: Earnhardt finished 15th at Kansas on a tough day for Hendrick Motorsports, which placed only one car in the top 10.

“My stepmother Teresa and my brother Kerry are locked in a court dispute over the use of the ‘Earnhardt’ name,” Earnhardt said. “I’m surprised Teresa didn’t have a problem with a race sponsored by bowling because she thinks the use of ‘3’ fingers is an infringement upon the name.”

9. Chase Elliott: Elliott recorded the best finish among Hendrick Motorsports drivers with a ninth in the GoBowling,com 400.

“I may not have the Cup titles of Jimmie Johnson,” Elliott said, “or the popularity of Dale Earnhardt Jr., or the wasted potential of Kasey Kahne. What I do have is a legendary pedigree and an iconic car number. So, unlike some other young drivers looking to make an impact in this sport, I don’t have to worry about making a name or a number for myself.”

10. Austin Dillon: Dillon finished sixth at Kansas, posting his sixth top 10 of the year.

“My No. 3 RCR Chevy was fast,” Dillon said. “My teammate Ryan Newman finished seventh. That means RCR put two cars in the top 10. Could we ever put three cars in the ‘top 10?’ Only if Paul Menard drops 20 digits from his car number.”

May 10, 2016
NASCAR Top-10 Power Rankings: Talladega

Note: The quotes in this article are fictional.

1. Kyle Busch: Busch finished second in a wild and crash-filled Geico 500 at Talladega as Brad Keselowski captured the win. Busch is second in the Sprint Cup points standings, nine behind Kevin Harvick.

“I finished second,” Busch said, “and Carl Edwards finished 35th. Just like last week, I see Edwards behind me.

“Everybody knows I owe Carl Edwards. Carl knows, too. I told Carl I’d give him fair warning, though. That’ll come in the form of Jamie McMurray. When Carl sees McMurray, he’ll know he’s got ‘1’ coming.”

2. Kevin Harvick: Harvick’s strong day at Talladega ended on a sour note when he was sucked into a last-lap pileup. He finished 15th.

“Danger is always a factor at Talladega,” Harvick said. “Nothing speaks to that better than the fact that Busch beer was on the No. 4 Chevrolet for the race. Whether you’re headed to the mountains of Busch or the air of Talladega, you’re likely to get wasted.

“Tony Stewart started the race. Ty Dillon took over after the first caution. That was at the orders of Tony’s doctors. So, it was good news for Tony’s back, and his stomach.

3. Carl Edwards: Edwards suffered damage in a lap 96 incident, then blew a tire on lap 111 and slammed Jimmie Johnson. The wreck ended Edwards day, and he finished 35th in the Geico 500 at Talladega.

“I still haven’t spoken to Kyle Busch about bumping him out of the lead at Richmond,” Edwards said. “I expect I will at some point. When I do want Kyle’s attention, I’ll just tap him on the shoulder.”

4. Brad Keselowski: Keselowski led a race-high 46 laps and won the Geico 500.

“There are two types of people that love racing at Talladega,” Keselowski said. “Fans, and the race winner.

“But seriously, Brian France claims to have safety in mind for the drivers, but what’s more likely to be hurt are his feelings, not a driver. If you can’t take criticism from Tony Stewart, you’re not fit to be in this sport, because everyone’s been criticized by Tony.”

5. Jimmie Johnson: Johnson’s day ended early after a lap 160 incident with Kurt Busch that sent Johnson into the wall. Johnson finished 22nd, six laps down.

“Busch just ran right through me,” Johnson said. “Kurt’s been known to charge with full ferocity. But it’s one thing to pin your ears back surgically, which Kurt had done in 2006, and pin your ears back figuratively, which he did at Talladega.”

6. Dale Earnhardt Jr.: Earnhardt started third at Talladega and struggled from the start, spinning on lap 50 before being taken out by Carl Edwards after the No. 19 car blew a tire. Earnhardt finished 40th.

“My steering wheel came off at one point during the race,” Earnhardt said. “Here’s the interesting thing: that’s the best my car drove all day.”

7. Kurt Busch: Busch ran up front for much of the day at Talladega and delivered an eighth-place finish in the Geico 500.

“To succeed at Talladega,” Busch said, “you have to find the right balance of patience and aggression. The problem with fellow drivers have with me is they lose their patience altogether.”

8. Joey Logano: Logano finished 25th at Daytona, with a strong run negated by a last-lap pileup that victimized the No. 22 and several other cars. Logano is fifth in the points standings, 35 out of first.

“Cars were going airborne right and left,” Logano said. “As a driver, you hate to see that. It sends a chill up your spine and makes your testicles retract way up into your abdomen. That’s a real ‘aero package.’”

9. Chase Elliott: Elliott won the pole at Talladega, thirty years after his father Bill did and came through with a fifth in the Geico 500.

“’Like father, like son,’ as they say,” said Elliott. “I guess it runs in the family. I could say, ‘I have speed coursing through my veins,’ but I’d rather not be mistaken for Jeremy Mayfield.”

10. Austin Dillon: Dillon finished third at Talladega, earning his third top-five of the year.

“There was a lot of duct tape used at Talladega on Sunday,” Dillon said. “That’s not unusual. This is Alabama. Duct tape is a part of life. Heck, it’s part of the state flag.”

May 3, 2016
The Final Word – Talladega; what could possibly go wrong?

Bad things happen at Talladega. If you are not barrel rolling or wall smacking, you just had yourself a nice, pleasant day in Alabama. That kind of thing, in fact, can get you a win, as was the case with Brad Keselowski on Sunday. The White Deux actually looked pretty good at the end, as the 2012 champ won his 19th career race, and second of the season. When all the smoke had cleared, the driver leading the most laps was leading the last one.

For some, things did not quite work out. Dale Earnhardt Jr. is always seen as a favorite, but after the 50th lap, not so much. He lost control, collected teammate Kasey Kahne, and they went back to check out the snacks available in the garage.

Tony Stewart, under doctor’s orders to protect his back, used the caution to crawl out and let Ty Dillon take that ride home. A seventh place finish proved that they had a plan that worked. Most planned to stay on all four tires, but that idea went tumbling down the track for Chris Buescher who did a few barrel rolls after being caught up in some four-wide racing.

Good news for Junior and Kahne fans, as both returned. Maybe that was bad news. Earnhardt actually had his steering wheel come off under caution and did some shaft driving before he reattached it. This is after he helped Carl Edwards avoid the wall when Edwards shot up the track and sandwiched Junior to a merciful conclusion. A few laps later, Kahne could no longer handle his car, which also shot up into the outside wall and he was finally done, too. At least both Hendrick boys got, not just one but, two post-wreck interviews. You got to keep them sponsors happy.

With less than thirty to go, we managed to rid ourselves of yet another Hendrick car. Kurt Busch influenced Jimmie Johnson to move up to take out fellow Top Ten driver Paul Menard in a mishap that involved 17 drivers. Yet, a less numerous yet more spectacular meeting of the metal took place about 20 laps later when Danica Patrick got turned to the inside and invited Matt Kenseth to space camp, who exposed the bottom of his car to the television viewers as it launched. Patrick, meanwhile, made some solid contact with the wall to feel the agony of de fence. Both were done as another half dozen cars got bent out of shape to some degree in that one.

If you thought we were done, you were just ignoring your inner Ricky Bobby. As Keselowski thundered to the line, with Kyle Busch, Austin Dillon, Chase Elliott, and Jamie McMurray behind him, more boys were beating the stuffings out of their boogity boogities. Kevin Harvick, who almost went wheels up, A.J. Allmendinger, Ricky Stenhouse Jr., and Martin Truex Jr. were among those making mangled metallic memories.

Seven of the Top Ten at Talladega currently hold down a Chase place. Ryan Blaney is just nine points out while Stewart returns to the driver’s seat this Saturday night in Kansas. Thanks to his relief driver, he only has to make up 61 points and pick up a win, to claim a Chase place. Clint Bowyer had a Top Ten and a win still gets him in, or he has 68 points to make up on 16th place. When you think on it, the odds still might favor Stewart. Bowyer has gone winless in 15 attempts in Kansas, and considering the quality of cars he has been blessed with this season, his odds are definitely not terribly high on Saturday.

May 2, 2016
NASCAR Top-10 Power Rankings: Bristol

Note: The quotes in this article are fictional.

1. Kevin Harvick: Harvick finished seventh at Bristol, posting his seventh top-10 result of the year. He leads the Sprint Cup points standings by a single point over second-place Carl Edwards.

“The No. 4 Hunt Brothers Pizza Chevrolet was pretty strong at Bristol,” Harvick said. “Jimmy Johns slogan is ‘Freaky Fast.’ Hunt Brothers Pizza’s logo is ‘You’ll Need A Bathroom—Freaky Fast.’”

2. Kyle Busch: Busch, seeking his third consecutive win, experienced a tough day at Bristol. His day ended on lap 256 when he blew a right-front tire and slammed the wall. He finished 38th.

“I had an early spin,” Busch said, “then suffered a speeding penalty. And I blew two tires. Right-front tires on Joe Gibbs Racing cars were like seats at Bristol Motor Speedway—they were most likely empty.

“While driving to the garage, my car made contact with a fan. I seem to be making a habit of running into fans off the track. That 38th-place finish was only my second out of the top 5 this season. So, relatively speaking, my day was ‘pedestrian.’”

3. Carl Edwards: Edwards started on the pole at Bristol and led 276 of 500 laps, capturing the Food City 500 in dominating fashion.

“Of course,” Edwards said, “I performed my celebratory backflip after the race. Unlike Kyle Busch, the only thing I nailed was the landing.”

4. Jimmie Johnson: Johnson suffered a late loose wheel issue and finished a disappointing 23rd in the Food City 500.

“That loose wheel ruined a potential top 5,” Johnson said. “That’s called getting ‘screwed unscrewed.’”

5. Dale Earnhardt Jr.: After a slow start, Earnhardt recovered to score the runner-up spot in the Food City 500. He is sixth in the Sprint Cup points standings, 37 out of first.

“I accidentally hit the kill engine switch when the green flag dropped,” Earnhardt said. “Those kill switches are necessary in this sport. Now, they’d be of more use if they could be applied to pre-race prayers.

“I was lucky enough to meet Peyton Manning. He gave me a Broncos jersey; I gave him a HANS device.”

6. Kurt Busch: Busch led 41 laps and finished third in an entertaining Food City 500 at Bristol.

“My brother Kyle made contact with a fan as he drove his damaged car to the garage midway through the race,” Busch said. “I guess the fan didn’t see Kyle coming. Some say our cars should be outfitted with horns. Others say they shouldn’t because there’s already too many ‘honk-ies’ in this sport already.”

7. Joey Logano: Logano posted a 10th-place finish at Bristol, recording his fifth top 10 of the year.

“How lucky is Dale Earnhardt Jr.?” Logano said. “He got to meet Peyton Manning. But how lucky is Manning? He received the grand tour of Bristol Motor Speedway by Earnhardt himself. Talk about a ‘Thunder Valet.’”

8. Denny Hamlin: Hamlin finished 20th at Bristol as Joe Gibbs Racing teammate Carl Edwards took the win.

“JGR took four of the top five qualifying positions,” Hamlin said. “Only Carl Edwards was able to close the deal, however. By ‘closing the deal,’ I mean driving back to the garage without running over someone.”

9. Brad Keselowski: Keselowski had a top-10 car until a late tire issue set him back. He finished 18th and is now eighth in the points standings, 63 out of first.

“Luckily,” Keselowski said, “the fan that Kyle Busch hit was not injured. I guess God was looking out for her. I like to believe that had I been in that fan’s shoes, a higher power would have pushed me out of the path of the car, hopefully before Kevin Harvick pushed me into it.”

10. Martin Truex Jr.: Truex started eighth and finished 14th in the Food City 500.

“It’s interesting the way Kyle Busch keeps meeting NASCAR fans,” Truex said. “It’s either (get out of) my way’ or ‘the highway.’”

April 19, 2016