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The Final Word – Sunday was a strange, strange day at Bristol

There are ways to describe Sunday’s action in Bristol, but to do it justice one would need a blow-by-blow analysis of most of the competitors to figure out what happened, and how it happened. Let us begin with what we know.

We know that Carl Edwards had one of the most dominant cars on the day. So did Matt Kenseth, while Kurt Busch (third) and Kevin Harvick (seventh) gave Edwards some company up front. Still, it was Cousin Carl who persevered, at the beginning, in the middle, and right to the end when he was putting some distance between himself and the field. Wheels that went straight, tires that kept inflated, walls that did not bite him, and the speed to see him lead a majority of the 500 laps allowed him to gather up his 26th career victory, his fourth at Bristol. That we know.

What happened to his Joe Gibbs teammates is a little tougher to analyze. All four entries started in the first five positions, but 20th by Denny Hamlin was the best the rest could do after he sustained some damage in a pit road collision. Kenseth led for 142 laps, but the snake came back to bite him yet again this season. While running first, he lost his right front but found the fence. When he found it again later on, for the same reason, he was done in 36th. It could have been worse.

Kyle Busch had been making a habit of winning lately, after consecutive triumphs at Martinsville and Texas. He took the drama out of it early, losing his right front and slamming the wall just 50 laps in. Sixty laps later, he got tagged from behind by Chris Buescher and went for a spin. Seventy laps further on, he got a pit road penalty. Seventy laps later, he lost another right front, found another fence, and finally put the car out of its misery, finishing 38th. Maybe too much camber angle proved to be the culprit.

Some had bad tidings, but good results. Dale Earnhardt Jr. could not even get up to speed on the green flag lap to start, and was down two laps in no time. At least he did it with 500 laps to go, and due to some good fortune popped up in the end to run second. Even Junior thought he had, at best, a Top 15 ride. Chase Elliott had a tire issue, fell back to 31st by the 200th lap, but was fourth when they waved the checkered. Then there was Joey Logano. He finished 10th, despite an early green flag stop for a vibration that got costlier when their tire rolled away in the pits to sit even one behind Elliott at the time.

Not enough great days for some others this season, but a few had one on Sunday. Trevor Bayne and Matt DiBenedetto were fifth and sixth at Bristol while Clint Bowyer had a Top Ten. Not so for Kyle Larson, as he dropped from third to a good 60 laps in arrears when his track bar broke. Cars seemed to get into trouble, rise out of the ashes, only to have their hopes dashed later on. Danica Patrick was 29th on Lap 200, fourth on Lap 275, and by Lap 435 she was barely in the Top Thirty. The Danica Line at Bristol was 27th, just one back of Austin Dillon and one up on Cole Whitt.

On Sunday, there was no Big One, just a bunch of nasty Little Ones. However, as Talladega promises to do on May 1, that short track in Tennessee messed with people, including the minds of fans trying to keep track of the comers and goers, the heartbreakers and the heartbroken. It was not a boring 3.5-hours.

Before they get to Alabama, they have a Sunday date in Richmond. Despite all his woes this year, Kenseth remains just five points out of a Chase place. Another win, like the one he celebrated last autumn at Richmond, would for all intents and purposes lock him into the championship hunt. Up to now, Kenseth has run well but always waiting for that black cloud to roll in to ruin his day. A single win and he is back to rainbows and blue skies. Funny, blue skies is exactly the weather they are calling for this Sunday.

April 18, 2016
NASCAR Top-10 Power Rankings: Texas

Note: The quotes in this article are fictional.

1. Kyle Busch: Busch won his second consecutive race, passing Martin Truex Jr. on a restart with 33 laps to go and cruising to the win in the Duck Commander 500.

“That’s two wins in two weeks,” Busch said, “in two different states, both pretty convincingly. What I’ve done to the rest of the field is known as ‘Interstate Battery.’

“It’s funny, given the misguided political opinions of the likes of Brian France and Phil Robertson, that NASCAR has become a haven for people endorsing candidates. Much like American presidential elections, NASCAR crowns a winner in November. That will be me. I’m here today to announce my 2016 slogan for repeating as Sprint Cup champion: ‘Make America One-Eight Again.’”

2. Jimmie Johnson: Johnson finished fourth at Texas, posting his fourth top five of the season.

“We got off to a shaky start,” Johnson said. “On our first pit stop, I banged the back of Kyle Busch’s car. That left the No. 48 Chevrolet with some damage to the nose. That, of course, made the car difficult to drive. Trust me. I’m a triathlete—I know an ‘out-of-shape’ car when I see one.”

3. Kevin Harvick: Harvick finished 10th at Texas, earning his sixth top 10 of the season. He is third in the Sprint Cup points standings, seven behind Kyle Busch.

“We had a top-10 car,” Harvick said, “and nothing else. It was clear early on that we weren’t going to win. In other words, we ‘didn’t have a prayer,’ which would also happen to be a good position for NASCAR to take in regards to pre-race ceremonies.”

4. Carl Edwards: Edwards, along with Martin Truex Jr., had one of the fields best cars at Texas, but failed to secure the win due to a loose wheel with 113 laps to go.

“Speaking of a ‘screw loose,’” Edwards said, “did you hear Phil Robertson’s pre-race prayer? It was more quotable than the Bible itself.

“Now, I’m frankly sick and tired of congratulating Kyle Busch on his victories. If he wants a pat on the back, he’ll have to get it from someone else, because when I joined JGR, I promised Matt Kenseth I wouldn’t raise a hand to anyone.”

5. Dale Earnhardt Jr.: Earnhardt finished second in the Duck Commander 500 at Texas as Kyle Busch took the win.

“Once Kyle got into clean air,” Earnhardt said, “there was no stopping him. I think Phil Robertson said it best when he quipped, ‘Jesus man, that car is fast.’

“Texas Motor Speedway had on display the taxidermied ‘Lil’ Dale’ goat. That goat rose to fame when it was born in 2002 with a marking on its side that looked like the No. 3. Despite the fact that ‘Lil’ Dale’ is a male, he’s been milked for all he’s worth.”

6. Kurt Busch: Busch took ninth in the Duck Commander 500 as younger brother Kyle gained his second consecutive win.

“Kyle is on a roll,” Busch said. “He won four races across three NASCAR series in eight days. You can say he’s done just about everything, except accuse his wife of being an assassin.”

“In his pre-race prayer, Phil Robertson asked the Lord to put a ‘Jesus man’ in the White House. I’m not sure Robertson is qualified to speak intelligently about religion or politics, or to speak intelligently period. But you know the old saying: ‘Robertson 3:16 says I’m just talking out my ass.’”

7. Joey Logano: Logano finished third in the Duck Commander 500, recording his third top-five finish of the year.

“Dale Earnhardt Jr. created a stir on Twitter,” Logano said, “when he tweeted about eating a banana and mayonnaise sandwich. I received a lot of unwanted responses because Junior happened to add ‘#SlicedBread’ to his tweet.”

8. Denny Hamlin: Hamlin started sixth and finished 12th as Joe Gibbs Racing placed all four cars in the top 12, led by Kyle Busch’s win. Hamlin is eighth in the points standings, 58 out of first.

“JGR is building a dynasty,” Hamlin said, “and unlike some other ‘dynasties,’ this one isn’t full of quacks. And speaking of ‘duck calls,’ did you hear the national anthem performed by Will Robertson? He hit all the notes. And by ‘all’ the notes, I mean one. But Will has one thing going for him—he’s adopted.”

9. Brad Keselowski: Keselowski finished 19th at Texas and is now eighth in the points standings, 58 out of first.

“Once again,” Keselowski said, “politics made its way into NASCAR when Phil Robertson prayed for a ‘Jesus man’ in the White House. This happened just weeks after Brian France endorsed Donald Trump for President. What’s next? Robertson and France start a NASCAR team and call it ‘Presidential Racing?’”

10. Martin Truex Jr.: Truex led a race-high 147 laps but couldn’t hold off Kyle Busch on a late restart, and eventually finished fifth.

“I clearly had the best car,” Truex said, “but what I lacked was a little luck, or maybe a little bible, and a little gun. But I don’t need anyone to tell me that we let a win slip away. I also don’t need anyone to tell me who to vote for, or anyone to pray for me.”

April 12, 2016
The Final Word – The best little race car in Texas was not the one that won

Watching NASCAR is very much akin to viewing a bunch of toddlers race each other. Little Johnny might take off early, get within a few feet of the finish line, then that damn butterfly takes all his attention and he swerves right and off the course. Saturday night in Texas was a lot like that.

If you tuned in early, you saw rain for two hours. Not the beginning they had hoped for, but for others the rain on their parade would come later. In the beginning, it was pole sitter Carl Edwards dueling Martin Truex Jr. for the lead. If it was not one, it was the other. That is how it went for 200 laps, then came the butterfly. Actually, then came a loose lug nut on the right front after a pit miscue, and Edwards went from leading 124 laps to fighting just to get close enough to finish seventh.

That left Truex. He led 141 laps. He was leading with just over 30 laps to go. Truex did not wander anywhere, but he should have. When most came to the pits for tires under caution, the team threw caution to the wind, and Truex under the bus. Sometimes Little Johnny needs to come in for a change, but the call from Cole Pearn to dive into the pits came too late for the driver to do so, and they were left with a soiled diaper.

Some wore their big boy pants, again. If you tuned in when things turned green, you would have thought Kyle Busch had one hell of a day. He immediately charged past Truex, who finished sixth, and that was it. Rowdy was literally off to the races to claim his second straight Cup victory, the 36th of his career. While Busch was near the front for the latter half of the event, Dale Earnhardt Jr. made a few cameos but only in the late stages did he emerge to claim the runner-up spot. Joey Logano, Jimmie Johnson and Chase Elliott rounded out the top five.

Matt Kenseth was a factor early, but you just knew something had to go wrong. It always does this season. Look, a butterfly. Eleventh proved to be a good result after a flying lug nut in the pits got caught behind a new tire and prevented the crew from tightening the replacement. Greg Biffle is having a sad season, and after hitting the wall he got even sadder. The Biff was boffed, to finish 39th, just one behind Clint Bowyer. Driving for Harry Scott this season as he awaits Tony Stewart’s retirement is not proving to be much fun.

In fact, you probably did not notice Bowyer much out on the playground, at least not until late. With 40 laps left, Austin Dillon tried to fit into a spot ahead of Johnson, but there was not enough room and soon enough not enough air on the rear spoiler. Dillon lost control, hit the wall, and came back across the track to clip the inside fence. Meanwhile, the checkers behind him became wreckers, with Bowyer and Brian Vickers ending their day as a host of other cars received a dent or five in the mishap. Hard to watch for butterflies when someone just kicked open a hornets nest.

The Danica Patrick Line was set this week at 21st in Texas, just ahead of Ty Dillon and one up on A.J. Allmendinger. The trio were all a lap off the pace and nowhere near the front the entire day. As much as I wish for her better things, this fourth season appears a be a lot like the previous three. Patrick sits, as per usual, 24th in the rankings. If we are asking too much of her, at what time should we?

Any butterflies at Bristol this Sunday probably will come in the form of a similar looking vehicle doing things to make a driver’s auto look less similar. Six drivers come in with at least a pair of victories there, but no one could use another more than four-time winner Matt Kenseth. He comes in as the Food City 500’s defending champion. Just as long as those Busch toddlers are not so spoiled as to add to the 10 they have already split between them.

I just do not think you can rely on their sharing natures at Bristol over the past five years to continue. The younger one has been exceptionally greedy as of late.

April 11, 2016
Hot 20 – If you’re going to play in Texas, you got to have a Biffle in the band

The voting begins, and there is nary a Trump, Cruz, Clinton, or Sanders to be found. Of course, I am referring to NASCAR’s all-star event coming up in May. While Danica Patrick and that neat gimmick of her’s attracts lots of interest, my pick based on performance would be A.J. Allmendinger. It is not easy for teams to gain relevance. Stewart-Haas picked up a star and that worked for them. Furniture Row had Kurt Busch and Martin Truex Jr. to allow them to turn the corner. A.J. is doing it for JTG Daughterty. That is great to see.

With the pipes on Chase Elliott, I am wondering if the guy can sing. We have had Merle Haggard, Randy Travis, and Josh Turner, to name a few, but if Chase can sing, we got another potential star on our hands. If not, broadcasting is in his future, but we might have to wait a long, long time. That is a hell of a lot of Boogity-Boogity-Boogities we might have yet to endure in the meantime.

A three-part series on NASCAR is coming to CMT next month. It looks good. Now, will it show up north of the line? Sometimes I fear that somebody built a wall on the wrong damn border.

This Saturday night, the boys and girl head west. The way I hear it, if you are going to play in Texas, you got to have a Biffle in the band. That may be true, and it may be a fact this weekend, but sadly such edicts do not include our Hot 20. Greg sits 16 points shy. Maybe the following week.

1. JIMMIE JOHNSON – 2 WINS – 216 PTS
Three straight at Texas, five of the past seven. Jimmie does not share easily, except for tweets.

2. KEVIN HARVICK – 1 WIN – 220 PTS
Still stands tall, despite less than stellar finish last week.

3. KYLE BUSCH – 1 WIN – 215 PTS
After winning a Cup and truck grandfather clock last week, he should never be late ever again.

4. BRAD KESELOWSKI – 1 WIN – 178 PTS
Took some time off in Birmingham to see some humpy backed camels and some chimpanzees.

5. DENNY HAMLIN – 1 WIN – 172 PTS
Collected a win at Daytona and a wall at Martinsville. Still, he had a better day than Almirola.

6. CARL EDWARDS – 206 PTS
When one struggles and still places in the Top Ten, you know you are having a good season.

7. JOEY LOGANO – 196 PTS
11th is not bad, but it sucks when you had hopes of finishing first.

8. AUSTIN DILLON – 176 PTS
A small issue with teammate Menard, but I understand he has connections with the ownership.

9. KURT BUSCH – 176 PTS
Must have the odd Jan Brady moment hearing how wonderful Kyle was…Kyle, Kyle, Kyle.

10. DALE EARNHARDT JR. – 172 PTS
Junior loves banana and mayo sandwiches. I prefer tuna and sandwich spread. Discuss.

11. MARTIN TRUEX JR. – 150 PTS
Other than for that loose wheel and speeding penalty, Martinsville was great. Just great.

12. A.J. ALLMENDINGER – 147 PTS
What Kurt and Truex did for Furniture Row, A.J. is doing for Daugherty.

13. JAMIE MCMURRAY – 143 PTS
For Jamie, the STP 500 stood for Stupid Tire Problem.

14. MATT KENSETH – 140 PTS
Does not always take the high road, but when he does, he loses a lot of spots late in a race.

15. RYAN BLANEY – 132 PTS
Not David Pearson just yet, but at one time even Pearson was not that David Pearson.

16. CHASE ELLIOTT – 131 PTS
Jeff who?

17. RICKY STENHOUSE JR. – 128 PTS
Sunday he was undone when he got spun.

18. KASEY KAHNE – 128 PTS
I think he needs to get All-State back as a sponsor. He was in good hands back then.

19. RYAN NEWMAN – 126 PTS
According to the Internet, Newman is a driver, an actress, and manager of the minor league Birmingham Barons. Busy guy.

20. KYLE LARSON – 125 PTS
Along with Dillon, Blaney, and Elliott, the kids are making their presence known, with more great talent on the horizon.

21. PAUL MENARD – 125 PTS
Should Dillon and Menard have issues, I am sure Paul would retain the support of his sponsor.

April 6, 2016
NASCAR Top-10 Power Rankings: Martinsville

Note: The quotes in this article are fictional.

1. Kyle Busch: Busch led 352 of 500 laps on his way to a commanding win in the STP 500, his first ever Sprint Cup win at Martinsville.

“Finally,” Busch said, “I get the Martinsville grandfather clock. After 21 tries, I can look at this trophy and confidently say, ‘It’s about time.’

“Leading 352 of 500 laps is just pure dominance. I’m shocked that the car was a good as it was. And my crew chief Dave Rogers was as well. After the race, he said to me, ‘Do you know how fast you were going?’”

2. Jimmie Johnson: Johnson finished ninth in the STP 500, posting his fourth top 10 of the year. He is second in the Sprint Cup points standings, four behind Kevin Harvick.

“I advocate stronger concussion protocols in our sport,” Johnson said. “Chad Knaus disagrees. He’s against anything that calls for more thorough inspections.”

3. Kevin Harvick: Harvick finished 17th at Martinsville, his first result outside the top 10 this season.

“If you would have told me before the race,” Harvick said, “that I’d finish one spot behind Danica Patrick, I would have said, “I guess I didn’t finish second.”

4. Carl Edwards: Edwards took sixth in the STP 500 as Joe Gibbs Racing teammate Kyle Busch won. Edwards is 14th in the Sprint Cup points standings, 14 out of first.

“Congratulations to Kyle,” Edwards said. “In his victory burnout, he smoked the tires. And speaking of ‘smoking’ the tires, NASCAR driver Derek White was arrested by Canadian police in a tobacco smuggling ring. Authorities seized 52,800 kilograms of tobacco. I guess where tobacco in concerned, the US-Canada border is unfiltered.”

5. Brad Keselowski: Keselowski recorded his second top-five finish of the year with a fifth at Martinsville.

“It was a typical day at Martinsville,” Keselowski said. “There was beating and banging, grumbling, and a few caution flags. These are all examples of your stomach warning you after eating a Martinsville hot dog.”

6. Kurt Busch: Busch finished 13th at Martinsville as younger brother Kyle won. Busch is seventh in the points standings, 44 out of first.

“I’m proud of Kyle for winning his first Martinsville grandfather clock,” Busch said. “As you know, clocks have little hands and big hands, and Brian France earlier made his political endorsement based on that criteria.”

7. Joey Logano: Logano started on the pole but went a lap down early at Martinsville, as tire grip issues sent him backward. However, he recovered to post a solid 11th, and now occupies the fifth spot in the points standings.

“We hit a rough patch to start the race,” Logano said, “but we worked things out. That’s a testament to the preparation and attention to detail of this team. There’s a lot to be said for crossing your T’s and dotting your ‘squinty and douchey’ ‘I’s.’

8. Denny Hamlin: Hamlin crashed early and finished a disappointing 39th in the STP 500 at Martinsville.

“The wreck was the result of a wheel hop,” Hamlin said. “Frankly, I’m embarrassed that it happened. I’m also angry. You could say I’m ‘hopping mad.’ Ironically, if you’ve ever seen me play basketball, you know I’ve never been accused of having ‘mad hops.’”

9. Dale Earnhardt Jr.: After falling a lap down early at Martinsville, Earnhardt battled his way back to score a respectable 14th-place finish. He is ninth in the points standings, 48 out of first.

“As you probably heard,” Earnhardt said, “I decided to donate my brain to concussion research. My dad made a lot of enemies on the track, so you can add ‘science’ to the list of entities that wanted an Earnhardt’s head on a platter.”

10. Austin Dillon: Dillon posted his second top-five finish of the year with a fourth at Martinsville. He is seventh in the Sprint Cup points standings, 44 out of first.

“Joey Logano finished 11th,” Dillon said, “and Matt Kenseth finished 15th. So, much like the last race here, there were four drivers ‘separating’ the two.”

April 5, 2016
Why NASCAR Got the Fine Right for Danica Patrick

Following Sunday’s incident between Danica Patrick and Kasey Kahne, Patrick was understandably angry. A simple miscalculation from Kahne’s No. 5 sent her No. 10 barreling into the frontstretch wall and ultimately out of the race. But instead of showing her displeasure from the safety of her wrecked race car and the EMTs surrounding it, she chose to walk on to a hot race track instead and was fined $20,000 and placed on probation for the next four events.

This decision is a plus for NASCAR. Since the tragic passing of Sprint Car driver Kevin Ward in 2014, the sanctioning body has instituted a rule that prohibits drivers from walking on to a hot race track following an accident. Although a few drivers have transgressed that rule since (from J.J. Yeley at Watkins Glen that same weekend to Jennifer Jo Cobb at Dover in June of 2015), most have been good about following this rule designed to keep the drivers from jeopardizing their safety.

So for Patrick to take the risk and climb up the track, even if Kahne was in the wrong, was a foolhardy move that could have proved fatal if the slightest mistake were to happen. While what happened initially between her and Kahne could be considered subjective (whether or not it was intentional contact), what she did was black and white. If a driver gets angry with another driver, flash a few angry gestures from the car, or better yet, wait for them in the garage or on pit road. Time and again we’ve seen that this is usually the best way to go about settling a dispute.

Those arguing in Patrick’s favor would be quick to point out that she was standing just below the white line that separated the track from the apron. True, but that doesn’t shake the fact that she left the area of her car and the EMTs and made it a point to let Kahne know that she was mad. She put herself in harm’s way, and that’s unacceptable.

So in this case, NASCAR was in the right in doling out the punishment to the No. 10 team. Only time will tell if this is enough of a precedent that will deter other drivers from doing the same.

March 24, 2016
Busch and Patrick Fined for Actions in California

Kyle Busch and Danica Patrick have been penalized for their respective action’s from this past weekend in the Golden State.

The driver of the No. 10 Stewart-Haas Racing Chevrolet was fined $20,000 and placed on probation through the next four races for violating NASCAR’s behavioral policy.

Patrick crashed out of Sunday’s Auto Club 400 with 79 laps to go when her car was hooked into the outside wall on the front stretch by Kasey Kahne. After exiting from her car, she walked toward the racing surface to show her displeasure to the driver of the No. 5 Hendrick Motorsports Chevrolet. This was found to be in violation of the on-track incident procedure section (10.4.2.1) of the 2016 NASCAR rule book.

Busch was fined $10,000 and placed on probation for the next four races for failure to fulfill post-race media obligations.

The driver of the No. 18 Joe Gibbs Racing Toyota led 133 of the 150 laps and was leading when the white flag was shown, but suffered a cut left-front tire and finished second to Austin Dillon.

In addition to the fines, six teams were issued warnings for failing inspection twice over the weekend. Four of them – the No. 3 of Dillon, the No. 20 of Matt Kenseth, the No. 21 of Ryan Blaney and the No. 27 of Paul Menard – failed the Laser Inspection Station in pre-qualifying inspection. The No. 19 of Carl Edwards failed the LIS twice during pre-race inspection. The No. 95 of Michael McDowell was cited for a truck trailing arm not meeting specifications.

March 24, 2016
NASCAR Top-10 Power Rankings: California

Note: The quotes in this article are fictional.

1. Jimmie Johnson: Johnson got by Kevin Harvick on a late restart and won the Auto Club 400, giving him 77 career wins, one more than the late Dale Earnhardt.

“’Superman’ was on my car today,” Johnson said, “and his superpowers seemed to rub off on me. Some say I leap tall buildings; others, like maybe Kevin Harvick, say I jump restarts.”

2. Kevin Harvick: Harvick dominated at Fontana, leading 142 of 205 laps, but fell short after a late caution evaporated his sizable lead. Jimmie Johnson slipped by Harvick on the restart, leaving Harvick with another runner-up finish, his 15th in the last two seasons.

“Unless it’s not a tenth of a second,” Harvick said, “I’m getting tired of hearing about seconds.

3. Kyle Busch: Busch blew a tire late at Fontana on Sunday, the same fate he suffered in Saturday’s XFINITY Series race. Busch eventually finished 25th and dropped three places in the points standings.

“I’m not sure what’s going on with our tires,” Busch said. “Is Goodyear peddling faulty rubber? It would take a real sales job to sell bad tires to an established racing team. So, who’s the real person with superpowers? Batman, Superman, or the Goodyear Pimp?

“I gave NASCAR an earful after they refused to wave a caution flag when I blew the tire in the XFINITY race. Of course, they’ll levy a hefty fine on me I’m sure. But that’s okay. The Busch family ‘swear jar’ is a 55-gallon drum.”

4. Carl Edwards: Edwards started fifth at Fontana and finished seventh, posting his fourth top 10 of the year.

“The No. 19 Toyota was fast,” Edwards said, “but it just didn’t have the handling to put me over the top. I was fighting the steering wheel all day. I know my sponsor Subway would rather not hear these two particular words, but Sunday was a ‘hard drive.’”

5. Kurt Busch: Busch started 26th and started from the rear in a backup car, leading to a long day at Fontana. He finished 30th, the last car on the lead lap.

“I got rammed by Dale Earnhardt Jr.,” Busch said, “and I’m angry. Junior had Batman on his car, which made me want to go ‘Robin’ on him, with a ‘trusty sidekick’ to the head.”

6. Joey Logano: Logano took fourth in the Auto Club 400, scoring his second top-five finish of the year. He is sixth in the Sprint Cup points standings, 30 out of first.

“Hey,” Logano said, “I love Batman and Superman. Jimmie Johnson and Dale Earnhardt Jr. showed me that it’s cool to have ‘Superfriends’ on their cars. Matt Kenseth showed me that it’s not so great to have an ‘Avenger’ in his car.”

7. Denny Hamlin: Hamlin finished third at Fontana, posted his second consecutive third place finish. He is now fourth in the points standings, 25 out of first.

“Kasey Kahne wrecked Danica Patrick,” Hamlin said, “and Danica was none too happy. I think it’s safe to say, despite all the images of Batman and Superman at the race, Patrick and Kahne won’t be ‘super friends.’

“Me? I had my issues with Danica, and I’ve tried talking to her face to face to come to some resolution. It hasn’t always worked. Talking to Danica is like talking to a wall, a very pretty wall.”

8. Dale Earnhardt Jr.: Earnhardt finished 11th in the Auto Club 400 as Hendrick teammate Jimmie Johnson captured the win.

“The No. 88 Chevrolet sported a ‘Batman’ theme in connection with the ‘Batman Vs. Superman: Dawn Of Justice’ movie,” Earnhardt said. “And my merchandise tent did as well. We were selling any and everything that had a bat on it—hats, T-shirts, flags, all kinds of crap. You know my fans—they’ll go bat ‘S’ crazy over bat ‘S’ if it has my name on it.”

9. Brad Keselowski: Keselowski finished ninth in the Auto Club 400, joining Penske Racing teammate Joey Logano, who finished fourth, in the top 10.

“I love the way NASCAR is promoting the upcoming ‘Batman Vs. Superman’ movie,” Keselowski said. “I think most drivers would say this sport needs more heroes. Danica Patrick would say this sport needs more heroines. Jeremy Mayfield would say this sport needs more heroin.”

10. Austin Dillon: Dillon started on the pole in the Auto Club 400 yet didn’t lead a single lap and finished a distant 24th. He is 10th in the points standings, 56 out of first.

“The heck with Sunday’s race,” Dillon said. “Let’s talk about Saturday’s race. I won when Kyle Busch blew a tire and Daniel Suarez ran out of gas. I haven’t had a race handed to me like that by anyone other than my grandfather.”

March 22, 2016
The Final Word – Kyle removes the Kryptonite as Superman wins at Fontana

Among the things I learned on Sunday from Fontana include…

-you don’t tug on Superman’s cape.
-you don’t spit into the wind.
-you don’t put up for long with ole Lex Luthor
-and you don’t mess around with Jim.

Jimmie Johnson, that is. For most of the day, the field had to deal with Kevin (just call him Lex) Harvick, who led early and led often. About the only time he did not lead was when he unnecessarily came in early to dump a perfectly good set of tires in a vain bid to eliminate a vibration. Then he was back. In fact, he might have gotten away with it, if not for Kyle Busch.

Busch was among a number of drivers that were relevant on the day and was running second when he discovered the limitations of the track. That came in the form of the outside wall after a tire indicated that it not longer wished to be of service. Caution waved, the Kryptonite was removed from the track, Busch was left in 25th, and this allowed for the possible finale moviegoers had hoped for.

After the restart, Johnson moved down to the line, hugged it tightly, and came up to Harvick’s rear quarter-panel. A bit of side drafting tugged Luthor…ahem…Harvick…back enough to set Johnson sailing right by and into the lead. In the end, no super villain, no Kryptonite, not even Batman could stop the inevitable from happening. SuperJimmie won his 77th career victory and marked the 15th straight season that he was won at least twice during the campaign.

As for Batman, Dale Earnhardt, Jr. could not get by any of the jokers, penguins, or riddlers. He got up to the horizon, but never challenged, finishing 11th. By the way, Superman should always trump Batman. One is an alien who our sun bestows with superpowers while the other is an athletic rich guy with a lot of neat contraptions. No contest.

Denny Hamlin finished third, and really was nowhere to be seen for the first 150 laps, but was visible in the end. Joey Logano was fourth on the day, was in the vicinity of the lead for much of the time, but probably was best remembered by Martin Truex Jr. as the guy who turned him enough to cause him to solidly tag the fence to turn a good day into 32nd. Also notable were Chase Elliott, who was fifth, while Carl Edwards came in just behind to record yet another solid effort.

“I’m alright, it really hurt, though,” was the report from Kyle Larson after he lost a tire, touched the outside wall before experiencing a huge impact against the infield barrier that put him up where he did not belong. Danica Patrick was not Supergirl, but she went flying after Kasey Kahne turned her into the wall to demolish her entry. That set the Danica Line artificially to 38th on the day, just one behind Greg Biffle and just ahead of Larson.

With his win, Johnson moves one ahead of Dale Earnhardt on the all-time list, sitting sixth behind Richard Petty, David Pearson, and Jeff Gordon, while he is eight wins away from passing by the likes of Bobby Allison, Darrell Waltrip, and Cale Yarborough. I do not think anyone is betting the farm against that happening this year, at least, not yet.

The good news for the field is that Johnson will not win next week. Neither will Harvick, Hamlin, or Kyle Busch, all of whom have been writing headlines over the first five events. After a week off, they all return for Martinsville, a place Kyle Busch has never won. Harvick has just one, compared to Hamlin’s five. Then you have Superman, as one must ask themselves if eight is enough? Well, not if you are within just six wins of the great Cale Yarborough it’s not. Meanwhile, my best wishes to you over Easter.

March 21, 2016
The Final Word – Harvick rises like a phoenix at Phoenix from the tears of Edwards

A phoenix rises from the ashes to be reborn. In Phoenix, Kevin Harvick rose from the tears of Carl Edwards to once again become the Cactus King, the driver to beat at Phoenix.

In November of 2012, Harvick won his first at that track. The next spring, the winner was Edwards. Last fall, Dale Earnhardt, Jr. was the victor. The four in between were all claimed by the man who has been victorious in six of the past eight events run in Arizona. That is domination, but it was close on Sunday. Very close.

Harvick had the dominant car on the day. Oh, what a surprise that was. However, he came to the overtime dash to the finish on four used tires, compared to the two fresh ones underneath Edwards. Underneath is where the gent went to make the pass, but Edwards did not get a clean get away. Side by side, fender to fender, fender into fender they came to the stripe, with Harvick taking it by a head. My head, if I had been foolish enough to have had it laying on the track, just 0.01 of a second for the closest outcome ever at this track, one of the closest finishes on any track, at any time.

Edwards was no slacker on the day, sitting among the top three pretty much from start to finish. He was the guy who was chasing Kyle Busch over the first 60 laps of this thing. Even a little miss on pit road did not derail Busch for long, as he concluded the event in fourth. Denny Hamlin was third, even after an early stop saw a tire roll away to find him penalized from fourth to 26th at the time. Earnhardt (5th) and Kurt Busch (6th) were also among the notables on the day, with young Chase Elliott bringing it home in eighth.

Sometimes being tired equates into being fatigued, adding new rubber in the pits, or having them fail to send one into the wall. Ryan Newman (39th) was the first casualty just over 50 laps into the race, and every fifty laps or so after somebody else got bit. Next up was Paul Menard (38th), to be followed by Ricky Stenhouse, Jr. (37th), but the exploding tread from Brad Keselowski (29th) was the most spectacular failure.

The Danica Patrick Line last Sunday was drawn at 19th, one place behind Joey Logano, who had a fuel intake issue that forced a late stop for juice, and Matt DiBenedetto in 20th.

The good news for everybody is the fact Harvick has not won at Fontana for the past five years. From 2004-2010, they visited the California venue twice, allowing the likes of Jimmie Johnson (5), and Matt Kenseth (3) to pick up a bunch of wins. Harvick and Tony Stewart have won there since they returned to a one and done situation, with Kyle winning twice before Keselowski took it last spring.

Those last two might be considered decent selections for the prognosticators, but remember that since 2006 Johnson has finished outside the Top 15 just once over the past 15 starts at Fontana. With both Edwards and Kenseth also boasting Top Ten averages, the track could live up to the community’s motto as the “City of Action.” I can live with that.

March 14, 2016