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Tag: Denny Hamlin

  • NASCAR Top-10 Power Rankings: Texas

    NASCAR Top-10 Power Rankings: Texas

    Note: The quotes in this article are fictional.

    1. Kyle Busch: Busch won his second consecutive race, passing Martin Truex Jr. on a restart with 33 laps to go and cruising to the win in the Duck Commander 500.

    “That’s two wins in two weeks,” Busch said, “in two different states, both pretty convincingly. What I’ve done to the rest of the field is known as ‘Interstate Battery.’

    “It’s funny, given the misguided political opinions of the likes of Brian France and Phil Robertson, that NASCAR has become a haven for people endorsing candidates. Much like American presidential elections, NASCAR crowns a winner in November. That will be me. I’m here today to announce my 2016 slogan for repeating as Sprint Cup champion: ‘Make America One-Eight Again.’”

    2. Jimmie Johnson: Johnson finished fourth at Texas, posting his fourth top five of the season.

    “We got off to a shaky start,” Johnson said. “On our first pit stop, I banged the back of Kyle Busch’s car. That left the No. 48 Chevrolet with some damage to the nose. That, of course, made the car difficult to drive. Trust me. I’m a triathlete—I know an ‘out-of-shape’ car when I see one.”

    3. Kevin Harvick: Harvick finished 10th at Texas, earning his sixth top 10 of the season. He is third in the Sprint Cup points standings, seven behind Kyle Busch.

    “We had a top-10 car,” Harvick said, “and nothing else. It was clear early on that we weren’t going to win. In other words, we ‘didn’t have a prayer,’ which would also happen to be a good position for NASCAR to take in regards to pre-race ceremonies.”

    4. Carl Edwards: Edwards, along with Martin Truex Jr., had one of the fields best cars at Texas, but failed to secure the win due to a loose wheel with 113 laps to go.

    “Speaking of a ‘screw loose,’” Edwards said, “did you hear Phil Robertson’s pre-race prayer? It was more quotable than the Bible itself.

    “Now, I’m frankly sick and tired of congratulating Kyle Busch on his victories. If he wants a pat on the back, he’ll have to get it from someone else, because when I joined JGR, I promised Matt Kenseth I wouldn’t raise a hand to anyone.”

    5. Dale Earnhardt Jr.: Earnhardt finished second in the Duck Commander 500 at Texas as Kyle Busch took the win.

    “Once Kyle got into clean air,” Earnhardt said, “there was no stopping him. I think Phil Robertson said it best when he quipped, ‘Jesus man, that car is fast.’

    “Texas Motor Speedway had on display the taxidermied ‘Lil’ Dale’ goat. That goat rose to fame when it was born in 2002 with a marking on its side that looked like the No. 3. Despite the fact that ‘Lil’ Dale’ is a male, he’s been milked for all he’s worth.”

    6. Kurt Busch: Busch took ninth in the Duck Commander 500 as younger brother Kyle gained his second consecutive win.

    “Kyle is on a roll,” Busch said. “He won four races across three NASCAR series in eight days. You can say he’s done just about everything, except accuse his wife of being an assassin.”

    “In his pre-race prayer, Phil Robertson asked the Lord to put a ‘Jesus man’ in the White House. I’m not sure Robertson is qualified to speak intelligently about religion or politics, or to speak intelligently period. But you know the old saying: ‘Robertson 3:16 says I’m just talking out my ass.’”

    7. Joey Logano: Logano finished third in the Duck Commander 500, recording his third top-five finish of the year.

    “Dale Earnhardt Jr. created a stir on Twitter,” Logano said, “when he tweeted about eating a banana and mayonnaise sandwich. I received a lot of unwanted responses because Junior happened to add ‘#SlicedBread’ to his tweet.”

    8. Denny Hamlin: Hamlin started sixth and finished 12th as Joe Gibbs Racing placed all four cars in the top 12, led by Kyle Busch’s win. Hamlin is eighth in the points standings, 58 out of first.

    “JGR is building a dynasty,” Hamlin said, “and unlike some other ‘dynasties,’ this one isn’t full of quacks. And speaking of ‘duck calls,’ did you hear the national anthem performed by Will Robertson? He hit all the notes. And by ‘all’ the notes, I mean one. But Will has one thing going for him—he’s adopted.”

    9. Brad Keselowski: Keselowski finished 19th at Texas and is now eighth in the points standings, 58 out of first.

    “Once again,” Keselowski said, “politics made its way into NASCAR when Phil Robertson prayed for a ‘Jesus man’ in the White House. This happened just weeks after Brian France endorsed Donald Trump for President. What’s next? Robertson and France start a NASCAR team and call it ‘Presidential Racing?’”

    10. Martin Truex Jr.: Truex led a race-high 147 laps but couldn’t hold off Kyle Busch on a late restart, and eventually finished fifth.

    “I clearly had the best car,” Truex said, “but what I lacked was a little luck, or maybe a little bible, and a little gun. But I don’t need anyone to tell me that we let a win slip away. I also don’t need anyone to tell me who to vote for, or anyone to pray for me.”

  • Hot 20 – If you’re going to play in Texas, you got to have a Biffle in the band

    Hot 20 – If you’re going to play in Texas, you got to have a Biffle in the band

    The voting begins, and there is nary a Trump, Cruz, Clinton, or Sanders to be found. Of course, I am referring to NASCAR’s all-star event coming up in May. While Danica Patrick and that neat gimmick of her’s attracts lots of interest, my pick based on performance would be A.J. Allmendinger. It is not easy for teams to gain relevance. Stewart-Haas picked up a star and that worked for them. Furniture Row had Kurt Busch and Martin Truex Jr. to allow them to turn the corner. A.J. is doing it for JTG Daughterty. That is great to see.

    With the pipes on Chase Elliott, I am wondering if the guy can sing. We have had Merle Haggard, Randy Travis, and Josh Turner, to name a few, but if Chase can sing, we got another potential star on our hands. If not, broadcasting is in his future, but we might have to wait a long, long time. That is a hell of a lot of Boogity-Boogity-Boogities we might have yet to endure in the meantime.

    A three-part series on NASCAR is coming to CMT next month. It looks good. Now, will it show up north of the line? Sometimes I fear that somebody built a wall on the wrong damn border.

    This Saturday night, the boys and girl head west. The way I hear it, if you are going to play in Texas, you got to have a Biffle in the band. That may be true, and it may be a fact this weekend, but sadly such edicts do not include our Hot 20. Greg sits 16 points shy. Maybe the following week.

    1. JIMMIE JOHNSON – 2 WINS – 216 PTS
    Three straight at Texas, five of the past seven. Jimmie does not share easily, except for tweets.

    2. KEVIN HARVICK – 1 WIN – 220 PTS
    Still stands tall, despite less than stellar finish last week.

    3. KYLE BUSCH – 1 WIN – 215 PTS
    After winning a Cup and truck grandfather clock last week, he should never be late ever again.

    4. BRAD KESELOWSKI – 1 WIN – 178 PTS
    Took some time off in Birmingham to see some humpy backed camels and some chimpanzees.

    5. DENNY HAMLIN – 1 WIN – 172 PTS
    Collected a win at Daytona and a wall at Martinsville. Still, he had a better day than Almirola.

    6. CARL EDWARDS – 206 PTS
    When one struggles and still places in the Top Ten, you know you are having a good season.

    7. JOEY LOGANO – 196 PTS
    11th is not bad, but it sucks when you had hopes of finishing first.

    8. AUSTIN DILLON – 176 PTS
    A small issue with teammate Menard, but I understand he has connections with the ownership.

    9. KURT BUSCH – 176 PTS
    Must have the odd Jan Brady moment hearing how wonderful Kyle was…Kyle, Kyle, Kyle.

    10. DALE EARNHARDT JR. – 172 PTS
    Junior loves banana and mayo sandwiches. I prefer tuna and sandwich spread. Discuss.

    11. MARTIN TRUEX JR. – 150 PTS
    Other than for that loose wheel and speeding penalty, Martinsville was great. Just great.

    12. A.J. ALLMENDINGER – 147 PTS
    What Kurt and Truex did for Furniture Row, A.J. is doing for Daugherty.

    13. JAMIE MCMURRAY – 143 PTS
    For Jamie, the STP 500 stood for Stupid Tire Problem.

    14. MATT KENSETH – 140 PTS
    Does not always take the high road, but when he does, he loses a lot of spots late in a race.

    15. RYAN BLANEY – 132 PTS
    Not David Pearson just yet, but at one time even Pearson was not that David Pearson.

    16. CHASE ELLIOTT – 131 PTS
    Jeff who?

    17. RICKY STENHOUSE JR. – 128 PTS
    Sunday he was undone when he got spun.

    18. KASEY KAHNE – 128 PTS
    I think he needs to get All-State back as a sponsor. He was in good hands back then.

    19. RYAN NEWMAN – 126 PTS
    According to the Internet, Newman is a driver, an actress, and manager of the minor league Birmingham Barons. Busy guy.

    20. KYLE LARSON – 125 PTS
    Along with Dillon, Blaney, and Elliott, the kids are making their presence known, with more great talent on the horizon.

    21. PAUL MENARD – 125 PTS
    Should Dillon and Menard have issues, I am sure Paul would retain the support of his sponsor.

  • NASCAR Top-10 Power Rankings: Martinsville

    NASCAR Top-10 Power Rankings: Martinsville

    Note: The quotes in this article are fictional.

    1. Kyle Busch: Busch led 352 of 500 laps on his way to a commanding win in the STP 500, his first ever Sprint Cup win at Martinsville.

    “Finally,” Busch said, “I get the Martinsville grandfather clock. After 21 tries, I can look at this trophy and confidently say, ‘It’s about time.’

    “Leading 352 of 500 laps is just pure dominance. I’m shocked that the car was a good as it was. And my crew chief Dave Rogers was as well. After the race, he said to me, ‘Do you know how fast you were going?’”

    2. Jimmie Johnson: Johnson finished ninth in the STP 500, posting his fourth top 10 of the year. He is second in the Sprint Cup points standings, four behind Kevin Harvick.

    “I advocate stronger concussion protocols in our sport,” Johnson said. “Chad Knaus disagrees. He’s against anything that calls for more thorough inspections.”

    3. Kevin Harvick: Harvick finished 17th at Martinsville, his first result outside the top 10 this season.

    “If you would have told me before the race,” Harvick said, “that I’d finish one spot behind Danica Patrick, I would have said, “I guess I didn’t finish second.”

    4. Carl Edwards: Edwards took sixth in the STP 500 as Joe Gibbs Racing teammate Kyle Busch won. Edwards is 14th in the Sprint Cup points standings, 14 out of first.

    “Congratulations to Kyle,” Edwards said. “In his victory burnout, he smoked the tires. And speaking of ‘smoking’ the tires, NASCAR driver Derek White was arrested by Canadian police in a tobacco smuggling ring. Authorities seized 52,800 kilograms of tobacco. I guess where tobacco in concerned, the US-Canada border is unfiltered.”

    5. Brad Keselowski: Keselowski recorded his second top-five finish of the year with a fifth at Martinsville.

    “It was a typical day at Martinsville,” Keselowski said. “There was beating and banging, grumbling, and a few caution flags. These are all examples of your stomach warning you after eating a Martinsville hot dog.”

    6. Kurt Busch: Busch finished 13th at Martinsville as younger brother Kyle won. Busch is seventh in the points standings, 44 out of first.

    “I’m proud of Kyle for winning his first Martinsville grandfather clock,” Busch said. “As you know, clocks have little hands and big hands, and Brian France earlier made his political endorsement based on that criteria.”

    7. Joey Logano: Logano started on the pole but went a lap down early at Martinsville, as tire grip issues sent him backward. However, he recovered to post a solid 11th, and now occupies the fifth spot in the points standings.

    “We hit a rough patch to start the race,” Logano said, “but we worked things out. That’s a testament to the preparation and attention to detail of this team. There’s a lot to be said for crossing your T’s and dotting your ‘squinty and douchey’ ‘I’s.’

    8. Denny Hamlin: Hamlin crashed early and finished a disappointing 39th in the STP 500 at Martinsville.

    “The wreck was the result of a wheel hop,” Hamlin said. “Frankly, I’m embarrassed that it happened. I’m also angry. You could say I’m ‘hopping mad.’ Ironically, if you’ve ever seen me play basketball, you know I’ve never been accused of having ‘mad hops.’”

    9. Dale Earnhardt Jr.: After falling a lap down early at Martinsville, Earnhardt battled his way back to score a respectable 14th-place finish. He is ninth in the points standings, 48 out of first.

    “As you probably heard,” Earnhardt said, “I decided to donate my brain to concussion research. My dad made a lot of enemies on the track, so you can add ‘science’ to the list of entities that wanted an Earnhardt’s head on a platter.”

    10. Austin Dillon: Dillon posted his second top-five finish of the year with a fourth at Martinsville. He is seventh in the Sprint Cup points standings, 44 out of first.

    “Joey Logano finished 11th,” Dillon said, “and Matt Kenseth finished 15th. So, much like the last race here, there were four drivers ‘separating’ the two.”

  • The Final Word – It was a John Wayne kind of day for Mr. Busch at Martinsville

    The Final Word – It was a John Wayne kind of day for Mr. Busch at Martinsville

    Martinsville has been on the NASCAR calendar since 1948, the year before John Wayne truly hit it big in Hollywood. Both showcased a great cast of supporting characters over the years, and both have been synonymous with action. Sunday was no different.

    If Martinsville was The Searchers from 1956, Kyle Busch was its Ethan Edwards, the Wayne character who was determined, diligent, and successful in his quest. In the end, he crossed his arms and headed out into the sunset with his 35th career victory in a dominant performance that saw our defending champion up front for 70 percent of the picture.

    Kevin Harvick was a featured performer. He arrived a bit late, stayed near the front for a time, but in the end, he had to be content with 17th. You might remember Wayne’s 1962 picture The Man Who Shot Liberty Valance. In the end, Jimmy Stewart rode off in a train, while Wayne’s Tom Doniphon, who actually shot the title character, was last seen in a pine box. Come to think of it, ole Tom was in that box when they started that film, so maybe Harvick got the best of it.

    There was 1972’s The Cowboys, with the Matt Kenseth version of Wil Anderson also a force to be reckoned with for 90 percent of the movie. Then things went bad for our hero, another hole got dug, and the cattle drive was left to others to decide as Matt finished 15th.

    John Wayne began his movie career in a 1926 silent called Brown of Harvard. The Duke played an uncredited role as a Yale player. Dale Earnhardt Jr. mattered for five laps, cut a tire and spun out, and went down a lap. It took him 300 laps to get it back, and the best he could do was 14th. Like Wayne, Junior was in the film, but you had to keep an eye out in order to catch him.

    The Greatest Story Ever Told was an epic 1965 story on Christ. It featured the likes of Max von Sydow, Charlton Heston, Jose Ferrer, and Telly Savalas. Then, after the Crucifixion scene, a centurion utters the words, “Truly this man was the Son of God” in a very familiar drawling voice. My God, it was John Wayne, in a skirt. At the end, some said the same thing when A.J. Allmendinger showed up in the runner-up spot, except for the skirt part. At least, we noticed the Dinger was in the vicinity, so it probably came as less of a shock.

    In 1949, Wayne played Captain Nathan Brittles in She Tied a Yellow Ribbon. He was an aging officer near retirement. Ben Johnson and Harry Carey, Jr. played Tyree and Pennell, a pair of up and comers of the next generation. They remind me of a pair who represent the future in this modern calvary, played Sunday by the fourth and fifth place finishers, Kyle Larson and Austin Dillon.

    Another driver had an interesting day. He got caught speeding early, managed to crumple up his hood a bit later, but in the end, he still managed a Top Five. Brad Keselowski took his lumps but came away with a decent result. This Rooster Cogburn displayed some True Grit (1968).

    Then there was John Wayne’s Alamo from 1960. I do not think I need to explain why Aric Almirola and Denny Hamlin come to mind. Let us just say that 38 drivers did better on the day, including a 16th placed Danica Patrick.

    At least, everyone lasted 200 laps or more, so we could not cite 1931’s The Deceiver. In that one, Wayne had a brief role in the picture. He played a corpse. Thankfully, we no longer have start and park entries.

    If you got John Wayne on your mind, then it seems apropos that the boys and girl head back west to Texas for a Saturday night showdown. The last three straight races that have been run there, four of the past five, and five of the previous seven, were all won by Jimmie Johnson, the guy who finished ninth last weekend. I guess we have seen this movie before.

  • Hot 20 of the 40 making their way to the truly traditional race at Martinsville

    Hot 20 of the 40 making their way to the truly traditional race at Martinsville

    A full field. I may be a traditionalist in many ways, but a 40 car field seems about right to me now. It costs money to put a car on the track, to fit the templates, to run fast enough over a lap or two to qualify. That is even so when that auto is destined to simply start and park.

    Three fewer starting spots means an entry that has no intention to try will soon enough whither and die. It becomes too much of a gamble, leaving it to teams like the Wood Brothers, Premium, and the Motorsports Group to fill up any void, to grow, to matter. The No. 55 Premium owned car of Reed Sorenson makes its season debut. The 39 others have all attempted every race, with the No. 30 of Josh Wise and the No. 98 of Cole Whitt only missing the start at Daytona.

    If I were a strict traditionalist, I would love races decided by laps instead of inches, but I do not. A traditionalist would want a return to old stock cars, open masked helmets, a monkey in the cockpit or even concrete walls. I do not. What I want is to have Joe, Fireball, Tiny, Bobby, J.D., Clifford, John, Adam, Kenny, and Dale back.

    A traditionalist would subscribe to the notion that a driver can drive where ever he damn well pleases. Still, I think Kyle Busch and other Cup drivers have made the XFINITY series irrelevant, which is a damn shame. It irks me how much it steals from the public spotlight that should belong to up and comers like Daniel Suarez, Erik Jones, Ty Dillon, and Darrell Wallace Jr. If NASCAR instituted a “powder puff” division for women, hell, Kyle would probably want to run there, too.

    However, a traditionalist loves excellence. A traditionalist wants to see a king on top of the mountain and a field of challengers looking to knock him off the peak. There were some seasons it appeared that Richard Petty was competing against XFINITY drivers. Some might argue that, back in the day, he might have been. Some argue how bad it was for Jimmie Johnson to win five straight titles. I argue that it made it that much sweeter when someone came along good enough to take that title away.

    Martinsville reminds me of that. The three hottest of our Hot 20 have, between them, claimed 14 victories at Martinsville. Kevin Harvick has one of them. Denny Hamlin has five. Johnson? He would be the guy with eight to his credit over the course of his career. As a traditionalist, I like that. It gives the rest of them something to go after, something that would be really meaningful if they can accomplish it. Still, Johnson needs another seven just to tie Petty’s career total on the circuit that has been hosting such events since 1948. A traditionalist would love to see him do it.

    1 – JIMMIE JOHNSON – 2 WINS – 184 PTS
    Most successful driver of the 21st century, the best active driver competing at Martinsville.

    2 – KEVIN HARVICK – 1 WIN – 195 PTS
    A former champion, the leader in points, and still feels he has something to prove on Sunday.

    3 – DENNY HAMLIN – 1 WIN – 170 PTS
    I bet his grandfather clock was too large for the shelf, so it stood the past year on the floor.

    4 – BRAD KESELOWSKI – 1 WIN – 142 PTS
    If the future President Keselowski has to wear a sponsor covered fire-suit, shouldn’t politicians?

    5 – CARL EDWARDS – 171 PTS
    Averaging a seventh place finish every week is not bad.

    6T – KYLE BUSCH – 170 PTS
    Ditto. Now with no XFINITY race to worry about this weekend, the trucks, the trucks are calling.

    6T – JOEY LOGANO – 170 PTS
    Ditto that ditto. Now, as long as Kenseth doesn’t get mad at him this weekend…

    8 – KURT BUSCH – 148 PTS
    Will not be in the Indianapolis 500 this year. So, I guess that also means Monaco is out.

    9 – DALE EARNHARDT JR. – 145 PTS
    Will donate his brain for concussion research…but they should expect a very long wait.

    10 – AUSTIN DILLON – 139 PTS
    How a guy looks in a cowboy hat may depend on his ability, and he is looking better all the time.

    11 – MARTIN TRUEX JR. – 127 PTS
    Just the latest member of the “Joey is a Jerk” club.

    12 – JAMIE MCMURRAY – 125 PTS
    No truth to the report that he has insured his dimples for a million dollars.

    13 – ARIC ALMIROLA – 120 PTS
    You would think the ole No. 43 would be a favorite to win the STP 500.

    14 – RICKY STENHOUSE JR. – 119 PTS
    Not everyone gets to escape from all his racing peers on a holiday, or wants to.

    15 – MATT KENSETH – 113 PTS
    If having a horrid season still has one sitting in a Chase place, just how horrid can it be?

    16T – RYAN BLANEY – 110 PTS
    When your son surpasses you, that is when a father knows just how great a job he has done.

    16T – CHASE ELLIOTT – 110 PTS
    If he used his given name, we would have yet another “Junior” on our hands.

    18 – KASEY KAHNE – 109 PTS
    I am guessing Ricky and Danica did not invite him over for Easter.

    19 – A.J. ALLMENDINGER – 108 PTS
    Might consider a return to IndyCar…once they put a roof on the auto and not before.

    20T – TREVOR BAYNE – 95 PTS
    Almost easy to dismiss the once promising rising star driving for Roush…but he is only 25.

    20T – RYAN NEWMAN – 95 PTS
    Wants more barrier protection for his pit crew…and on some tracks that shortfall is evident.

  • NASCAR Top-10 Power Rankings: California

    NASCAR Top-10 Power Rankings: California

    Note: The quotes in this article are fictional.

    1. Jimmie Johnson: Johnson got by Kevin Harvick on a late restart and won the Auto Club 400, giving him 77 career wins, one more than the late Dale Earnhardt.

    “’Superman’ was on my car today,” Johnson said, “and his superpowers seemed to rub off on me. Some say I leap tall buildings; others, like maybe Kevin Harvick, say I jump restarts.”

    2. Kevin Harvick: Harvick dominated at Fontana, leading 142 of 205 laps, but fell short after a late caution evaporated his sizable lead. Jimmie Johnson slipped by Harvick on the restart, leaving Harvick with another runner-up finish, his 15th in the last two seasons.

    “Unless it’s not a tenth of a second,” Harvick said, “I’m getting tired of hearing about seconds.

    3. Kyle Busch: Busch blew a tire late at Fontana on Sunday, the same fate he suffered in Saturday’s XFINITY Series race. Busch eventually finished 25th and dropped three places in the points standings.

    “I’m not sure what’s going on with our tires,” Busch said. “Is Goodyear peddling faulty rubber? It would take a real sales job to sell bad tires to an established racing team. So, who’s the real person with superpowers? Batman, Superman, or the Goodyear Pimp?

    “I gave NASCAR an earful after they refused to wave a caution flag when I blew the tire in the XFINITY race. Of course, they’ll levy a hefty fine on me I’m sure. But that’s okay. The Busch family ‘swear jar’ is a 55-gallon drum.”

    4. Carl Edwards: Edwards started fifth at Fontana and finished seventh, posting his fourth top 10 of the year.

    “The No. 19 Toyota was fast,” Edwards said, “but it just didn’t have the handling to put me over the top. I was fighting the steering wheel all day. I know my sponsor Subway would rather not hear these two particular words, but Sunday was a ‘hard drive.’”

    5. Kurt Busch: Busch started 26th and started from the rear in a backup car, leading to a long day at Fontana. He finished 30th, the last car on the lead lap.

    “I got rammed by Dale Earnhardt Jr.,” Busch said, “and I’m angry. Junior had Batman on his car, which made me want to go ‘Robin’ on him, with a ‘trusty sidekick’ to the head.”

    6. Joey Logano: Logano took fourth in the Auto Club 400, scoring his second top-five finish of the year. He is sixth in the Sprint Cup points standings, 30 out of first.

    “Hey,” Logano said, “I love Batman and Superman. Jimmie Johnson and Dale Earnhardt Jr. showed me that it’s cool to have ‘Superfriends’ on their cars. Matt Kenseth showed me that it’s not so great to have an ‘Avenger’ in his car.”

    7. Denny Hamlin: Hamlin finished third at Fontana, posted his second consecutive third place finish. He is now fourth in the points standings, 25 out of first.

    “Kasey Kahne wrecked Danica Patrick,” Hamlin said, “and Danica was none too happy. I think it’s safe to say, despite all the images of Batman and Superman at the race, Patrick and Kahne won’t be ‘super friends.’

    “Me? I had my issues with Danica, and I’ve tried talking to her face to face to come to some resolution. It hasn’t always worked. Talking to Danica is like talking to a wall, a very pretty wall.”

    8. Dale Earnhardt Jr.: Earnhardt finished 11th in the Auto Club 400 as Hendrick teammate Jimmie Johnson captured the win.

    “The No. 88 Chevrolet sported a ‘Batman’ theme in connection with the ‘Batman Vs. Superman: Dawn Of Justice’ movie,” Earnhardt said. “And my merchandise tent did as well. We were selling any and everything that had a bat on it—hats, T-shirts, flags, all kinds of crap. You know my fans—they’ll go bat ‘S’ crazy over bat ‘S’ if it has my name on it.”

    9. Brad Keselowski: Keselowski finished ninth in the Auto Club 400, joining Penske Racing teammate Joey Logano, who finished fourth, in the top 10.

    “I love the way NASCAR is promoting the upcoming ‘Batman Vs. Superman’ movie,” Keselowski said. “I think most drivers would say this sport needs more heroes. Danica Patrick would say this sport needs more heroines. Jeremy Mayfield would say this sport needs more heroin.”

    10. Austin Dillon: Dillon started on the pole in the Auto Club 400 yet didn’t lead a single lap and finished a distant 24th. He is 10th in the points standings, 56 out of first.

    “The heck with Sunday’s race,” Dillon said. “Let’s talk about Saturday’s race. I won when Kyle Busch blew a tire and Daniel Suarez ran out of gas. I haven’t had a race handed to me like that by anyone other than my grandfather.”

  • The Final Word – Kyle removes the Kryptonite as Superman wins at Fontana

    The Final Word – Kyle removes the Kryptonite as Superman wins at Fontana

    Among the things I learned on Sunday from Fontana include…

    -you don’t tug on Superman’s cape.
    -you don’t spit into the wind.
    -you don’t put up for long with ole Lex Luthor
    -and you don’t mess around with Jim.

    Jimmie Johnson, that is. For most of the day, the field had to deal with Kevin (just call him Lex) Harvick, who led early and led often. About the only time he did not lead was when he unnecessarily came in early to dump a perfectly good set of tires in a vain bid to eliminate a vibration. Then he was back. In fact, he might have gotten away with it, if not for Kyle Busch.

    Busch was among a number of drivers that were relevant on the day and was running second when he discovered the limitations of the track. That came in the form of the outside wall after a tire indicated that it not longer wished to be of service. Caution waved, the Kryptonite was removed from the track, Busch was left in 25th, and this allowed for the possible finale moviegoers had hoped for.

    After the restart, Johnson moved down to the line, hugged it tightly, and came up to Harvick’s rear quarter-panel. A bit of side drafting tugged Luthor…ahem…Harvick…back enough to set Johnson sailing right by and into the lead. In the end, no super villain, no Kryptonite, not even Batman could stop the inevitable from happening. SuperJimmie won his 77th career victory and marked the 15th straight season that he was won at least twice during the campaign.

    As for Batman, Dale Earnhardt, Jr. could not get by any of the jokers, penguins, or riddlers. He got up to the horizon, but never challenged, finishing 11th. By the way, Superman should always trump Batman. One is an alien who our sun bestows with superpowers while the other is an athletic rich guy with a lot of neat contraptions. No contest.

    Denny Hamlin finished third, and really was nowhere to be seen for the first 150 laps, but was visible in the end. Joey Logano was fourth on the day, was in the vicinity of the lead for much of the time, but probably was best remembered by Martin Truex Jr. as the guy who turned him enough to cause him to solidly tag the fence to turn a good day into 32nd. Also notable were Chase Elliott, who was fifth, while Carl Edwards came in just behind to record yet another solid effort.

    “I’m alright, it really hurt, though,” was the report from Kyle Larson after he lost a tire, touched the outside wall before experiencing a huge impact against the infield barrier that put him up where he did not belong. Danica Patrick was not Supergirl, but she went flying after Kasey Kahne turned her into the wall to demolish her entry. That set the Danica Line artificially to 38th on the day, just one behind Greg Biffle and just ahead of Larson.

    With his win, Johnson moves one ahead of Dale Earnhardt on the all-time list, sitting sixth behind Richard Petty, David Pearson, and Jeff Gordon, while he is eight wins away from passing by the likes of Bobby Allison, Darrell Waltrip, and Cale Yarborough. I do not think anyone is betting the farm against that happening this year, at least, not yet.

    The good news for the field is that Johnson will not win next week. Neither will Harvick, Hamlin, or Kyle Busch, all of whom have been writing headlines over the first five events. After a week off, they all return for Martinsville, a place Kyle Busch has never won. Harvick has just one, compared to Hamlin’s five. Then you have Superman, as one must ask themselves if eight is enough? Well, not if you are within just six wins of the great Cale Yarborough it’s not. Meanwhile, my best wishes to you over Easter.

  • Hot 20 – Johnson is again California dreaming while Harvick is staying with SHR…or is he?

    Hot 20 – Johnson is again California dreaming while Harvick is staying with SHR…or is he?

    Best damn finishes ever. Well, for two of the four events to date, that has been the headline for NASCAR in 2016. Daytona and Phoenix were decided by gaps measurable with a ruler, and that has to be a good thing. Hell, a great thing. That said, just how exciting has the visual been, what you and I see on the television prior to the final few laps? Pushing the fast forward button at Daytona was difficult, but it always is. As for the rest, the temptation has been there to quicken the action, if only for a few round and round laps.

    Kevin Harvick won last week by a hair over Carl Edwards. That was a good story. Rumblings that Harvick might bolt Stewart-Haas Racing when it abandons Chevrolet for Ford might be a better one. Oh, no, it is not going to happen, if you listened to the driver at Daytona. Funny, that was the same line Tony Stewart gave before he dashed away from Joe Gibbs when they went with Toyota. Mind you, this is different. For example, we are not hearing anything about anyone about to place Harvick’s name on the wall as a name partner any time soon, but the point is that today’s promise could always wind up broken.

    A piece by Beyond the Flag’s Christopher Olmstead does make one ponder, with sponsor deals with Busch Beer and Jimmy Johns coming to an end after this season and only an option of keeping Harvick for a season longer if push comes to shove. If he bails, some figure he could replace Kasey Kahne in the Rick Hendrick stable. Makes some sense. Still, there is a good chance that where there is Smoke there shall also be Harvick. Rumors can be fun, at least for the gossipers if not so much for the principles involved. Did we not once think a certain Hendrick driver would actually wind up driving for Richard Childress in a car his dad made famous? Nice story, different ending. It could be the same with this one.

    Here is hoping the racing at Fontana proves entertaining from start to middle, as well as the finish. Even more entertaining than any rumors. No doubt, a few of the drivers among our Hot 20 will be front and center this weekend, as Jimmy Johns might be replaced by Jimmie Johnson as Sunday’s center of attention. Now, why am I yearning for a sandwich about now?

    1. KEVIN HARVICK – 1 WIN – 154 PTS
    In the words of Joe Cocker and Jennifer Warnes, he is once again back up where he belongs.

    2. JIMMIE JOHNSON – 1 WIN – 140 PTS
    Expect no less than a Top Ten, as long as he has something more than vice-grips to steer with.

    3. DENNY HAMLIN – 1 WIN – 131 PTS
    Last week he did not have a great performance, yet finished third. Sometimes okay is enough.

    4. BRAD KESELOWSKI – 1 WIN – 110 PTS
    Needed a bus at Phoenix, as everyone knows its wheels go round and round, not kaboom!

    5. KYLE BUSCH – 154 PTS
    3rd, 3rd, 4th, 4th kind of works as he goes forth.

    6. KURT BUSCH – 137 PTS
    At least, we have one Busch who knows why Big Leaguers do not regularly play Little League.

    7. CARL EDWARDS – 136 PTS
    Carl mattered in Phoenix, he will matter at Fontana.

    8. JOEY LOGANO – 127 PTS
    Life lesson #22: Gas and go…but get all the gas you can before you go.

    9. AUSTIN DILLON – 122 PTS
    A new generation is making its presence felt…but where are Newman and Menard?

    10. MARTIN TRUEX JR. – 117 PTS
    A new manufacturer, trouble in inspection, a race without his crew chief…and all is well?

    11. DALE EARNHARDT JR. – 115 PTS
    Would be much, much higher if Daytona had not been so much a disappointment.

    12. RYAN BLANEY – 104 PTS
    Some fly charter, some fly coach, and for some, it just does not matter.

    13. ARIC ALMIROLA – 100 PTS
    No matter where he goes to bed at night he always remains Almirola by morning.

    14. KASEY KAHNE – 96 PTS
    Beaten up by a loose air cooling hose in the car, finally beaten by a tire issue outside it.

    15. JAMIE MCMURRAY – 94 PTS
    Has never enjoyed a Top Ten season. Even in 2010 (Daytona 500/Brickyard) he finished 14th.

    16. MATT KENSETH – 90 PTS
    Relevant in every race, but just has had trouble before the end of every race…except for last week.

    17. KYLE LARSON – 85 PTS
    Not yet a Top 15 driver. Not yet.

    18. RICKY STENHOUSE JR. – 83 PTS
    Even after the disaster that was Phoenix, he still is the best performer Roush-Fenway has.

    19. GREG BIFFLE – 76 PTS
    A mean handling car meant another long day for the Biff.

    20. A.J. ALLMENDINGER – 75 PTS
    Average finish of 20th does not cut it, but it beats Trevor, Chase, Danica, Ryan, Paul, Clint…

  • NASCAR Top-10 Power Rankings: Phoenix

    NASCAR Top-10 Power Rankings: Phoenix

    Note: The quotes in this article are fictional.

    1. Kyle Busch: Busch finished fourth at Phoenix to post his fourth top-five finish of the season. He is tied with Kevin Harvick for the lead in the Sprint Cup points standings.

    “I’m surprised Carl Edwards and Kevin Harvick both didn’t wreck each other before they reached the finish line,” Busch said. “I think it would have made for great controversy, although their cars would have been torn up. But I would have been more than happy to pick up the pieces.

    “As for being co-leader in the points, there’s only thing I care to share with Harvick, and that’s mutual hatred.”

    2. Kevin Harvick: Harvick battled Carl Edwards door to door over the final lap at Phoenix and held on to win the Good Sam 500 by .01 seconds.

    “I was surprised I was able to hold off Edwards,” Harvick said. “He may have had fresh tires, but I had a flag that said, ‘Don’t tread on me.’”

    3. Carl Edwards: Despite having fresh right-side tires for the final restart at Phoenix, Edwards was unable to complete the pass on Kevin Harvick, instead losing by .01 seconds.

    “Harvick and I traded a lot of paint,” Edwards said. “We were racing so close, I felt like I could have reached over and grabbed him by the throat. The only thing that’s clashed harder than our cars is our personalities.”

    4. Jimmie Johnson: Johnson finished 11th at Phoenix after starting in a backup car, due to a wreck in Friday’s qualifying.

    “My steering wheel literally came loose in my hands,” Johnson said. “I guess that would be the most severe case of ‘losing your handling.’ And what an impact. I haven’t ‘hit a wall’ like that since right after winning my sixth championship.”

    5. Kurt Busch: Busch finished sixth in the Good Sam 500, recording his fourth top 10 of the year. He is fourth in the points standings, 17 out of first.

    “That’s a top 10 in each race this year,” Busch said. “That’s called consistency, which is a word that is not used very often to describe me, particularly the history of my mental state.”

    6. Joey Logano: Logano finished 18th at Phoenix after his crew failed to fill his fuel tank on what should have been his final pit stop. Logano was forced to pit for a splash of gas, which likely cost him a top 10.

    “I thought for sure we got all the fuel in,” Logano said. “Even Matt Kenseth would vouch for that fact—he said I ‘was full of it.’”

    7. Denny Hamlin: Hamlin started third at Phoenix, part of a 1-2-3 Joe Gibbs Racing sweep in qualifying, and finished third, posting his first top-five since winning the Daytona 500.

    “What a finish between Kevin Harvick and Carl Edwards,” Hamlin said. “I think many people are surprised that Edwards didn’t send Harvick into the wall to get past him, as NASCAR legend Dale Earnhardt would have done. But let’s be serious. Only one person considers Edwards the ‘Intimidator,’ and that’s Matt Kenseth.”

    8. Austin Dillon: Dillon took ninth in the Good Sam 500, posting his third top-10 result of the year.

    “It was an otherwise lousy day for Richard Childress Racing,” Dillon said. “My teammates Ryan Newman and Paul Menard finished last and next-to-last. Both suffered right-front tire failures. Some will ask: ‘Who blows more? The tires, or the drivers?’ In any case, Ryan and Paul will always have a job with RCR, probably as the guys who scuff the surface of new tires, because they’re scrubs.”

    9. Dale Earnhardt Jr.: Earnhardt came home fifth at Phoenix, the top finisher among Hendrick Motorsports drivers.

    “It’s too bad it didn’t end with tempers flaring,” Earnhardt said. “That would have made for a perfect ‘March Mad-ness’ tie-in.”

    10. Brad Keselowski: Keselowski suffered a blown right-rear tire on lap 226 at Phoenix, and the resulting damage left the No. 2 Penske Ford with a 29th-place finish.

    “What an entertaining finish,” Keselowski said. “Carl Edwards and Kevin Harvick put on quite a show. Rest assured, when those two are battling for something, it’s definitely not a popularity contest. I really would have loved to have been part of an Edwards-Harvick duel, preferably as the guy that says, ‘Take 10 paces, turn, and fire.’”

  • Hot 20 – The heat is on at Phoenix after an endorsement, poor ratings, and some poorer finishes

    Hot 20 – The heat is on at Phoenix after an endorsement, poor ratings, and some poorer finishes

    It is a strange world we live in. Donald Trump appears on his way to the Republican nomination, but an endorsement from Brian France has folks in a tizzy. It could kill the diversity NASCAR is striving for, some claim. That is true. I doubt Trump would be a supporter of any team hiring an illegal alien to drive for them. Crazy, I know.

    If that is not bad enough, the television ratings have gone from bad, to worse, to not nearly as awful as the first two races. In a sport that had something of a cult following a decade ago, NASCAR no longer releases attendance figures, prize payouts, and has torn down some grandstands. The antidote will be found on the track, in their marketing, and in the economy. As always, there remains stark room for improvement in all those areas.

    A year ago, Dale Earnhardt Jr. won at Phoenix. Five of the six before that, Kevin Harvick claimed the prize. Now, if anyone could use a win this weekend, Danica Patrick, Chase Elliott, and Clint Bowyer would be among them. They sure are not among the Hot 20 going into Sunday’s action.

    1. JIMMIE JOHNSON – 1 WIN – 110 PTS
    Drives like Superman. In California, he will even look a bit like him.

    2. BRAD KESELOWSKI – 1 WIN – 98 PTS
    Flag on the ground, flag on the ground, felt like a fool with the flag on the ground.

    3. DENNY HAMLIN – 1 WIN – 93 PTS
    Recently was asked if driver confrontations are staged. Sure, about as much as a Republican debate.

    4. KYLE BUSCH – 116 PTS
    Best in points, zip in wins. Close only counts in horseshoes, hand grenades, and NASCAR

    5. KEVIN HARVICK – 109 PTS
    Has won five of past seven races at Phoenix. If I were a betting man…

    6. JOEY LOGANO – 104 PTS
    Truck decal: Things I hate: warm beer, cold women, Joey Logano and Brad Keselowski

    7. KURT BUSCH – 102 PTS
    A pit-road speed limiter button request was made by the speedster to f****** NASCAR.

    8. CARL EDWARDS – 96 PTS
    Twice failing template inspection last week earns the team a written note of bad tidings.

    9T. AUSTIN DILLON – 90 PTS
    It has been a while since the No. 3 sat in Victory Lane. It might not be long before it returns.

    9T. MARTIN TRUEX JR. – 90 PTS
    Crew Chief is in the sin bin this week, but the driver has been a factor thus far.

    11. RICKY STENHOUSE, JR. – 79 PTS
    If Dillon’s performances surprise you, this must make your head spin.

    12. DALE EARNHARDT JR. – 78 PTS
    California’s Caped Crusader hopes to repeat at Gotham…er…Phoenix.

    13. KASEY KAHNE – 77 PTS
    Bouncing back, or just bouncing. The jury remains out.

    14. RYAN BLANEY – 73 PTS
    While Mr. Elliott gets the headlines, fellow rookie Blaney thrives in un-Chartered territory.

    15. ARIC ALMIROLA – 72 PTS
    Living the all-American dream in the all-American car, employed by an all-American icon.

    16. JAMIE MCMURRAY – 69 PTS
    Some consider this to be a slow start, but it is way too early to get terribly excited just yet.

    17. RYAN NEWMAN – 66 PTS
    Led just one lap this season. Maybe he is going for quality rather than quantity.

    18. PAUL MENARD – 62 PTS
    Getting out of a hole at this time of year is a whole lot easier than trying to do it later.

    19. REGAN SMITH – 57 PTS
    Good start by Tommy Baldwin entry, but last two results have been far from impressive.

    20T. TREVOR BAYNE – 56 PTS
    Finally had a Top 20 finish last week. Well, at least, that is something.

    20T. KYLE LARSON – 56 PTS
    Was looking pretty good, then came Las Vegas.

    20T. MATT KENSETH – 56 PTS
    If NASCAR had a bumper car division, he would be running away with it this season.

    20T. GREG BIFFLE – 56 PTS
    Tied with his former team-mate and ahead of Danica. That might not make him feel any better.