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Tag: empty seats

  • The mystery surrounding half-empty grandstands at NASCAR races may finally be solved

    The mystery surrounding half-empty grandstands at NASCAR races may finally be solved

    LARRYLAND PRESS: Researchers studying earmarks for the current farm bill were shocked to discover that NASCAR has been receiving subsidies from the Federal Government since 2007, not to help the beleaguered racing organization stay afloat in the worldwide recession, and protect the jobs of as many people as possible, no, these subsidies, which were hidden deep under ‘crop rotation and preservation’ sub-paragraphs, are paying America’s most prominent race series…to keep fans out of the seats.

    Constitutional scholars were up in arms after discovering the pork-barrel boondoggle, calling it the “Grandstand to Nowhere”, and questioning the legality of whether or not taxpayer funds could be used to pay the race organization to keep fans from attending NASCAR races. Race series officials vociferously state environmental and fan goodwill reasons for demanding such subsidies, stating that just like most croplands, “If you over plant butts in seats, why, the seats will be unable to sustain future butt growth, and they’ll eventually just go bad, with no one being able to use the seat within a few years.”

    When asked to produce scientific data that would verify that grandstand seats would indeed go bad if you over planted butts in them, the same race series officials quickly waved some shuffled papers back and forth, and said, “our data shows that unless we keep some of the seats empty, and follow agricultural crop rotation techniques, where during one race, anywhere from a few seats, to an entire grandstand section, such as what we did for the grandstand environment at the July 4th Daytona race, if we keep fans out of certain seats one year, and but use them the next year, while keeping a lot of different seats closed, why, the overall health of the seating section will be preserved for years to come, and concerns about the environment can be taken care of at the same time. In addition, just like other crops, if there are too many seats available, the price of the tickets goes down, and with the Government stepping in to buy seats and keeping the prices at a fairly obscene, I mean fair market value, clueless, I mean, excited fans know that they’re not just getting some cheap commodity”

    The meeting quickly adjourned, and the officials hustled out of the room before any other reporters could inquire further into the matter.

    Legal expert (along with being a rabid Jimmie Johnson fan, and overall NASCAR apologist) Kent L. Preeus, when asked about this subsidy program, replied, “Well, I have been told, by several former friends, that all the empty seats were there simply because NASCAR races have absolutely sucked for the last several years. I knew that there had to be another reason, and who would have known that there might have been an environmentally-good cause to keep those thousands of seats empty during each and every race. I can’t imagine any other reason why there would be so many empty seats, especially at Charlotte Motor Speedway just this last weekend, and therefore, I support NASCAR’s ‘green’ initiative! I mean, just think of the children!”

    Mr. Preeus’s ex-wife, when asked about her ex-husband’s comments, replied, “God, is he still watching that stupid ‘racing’ thing on TV? I was okay with him being camped out on the couch on race weekends, and I turned a blind eye to his obsession with NASCAR-themed women’s clothing, but when I caught him sniffing one of Jimmie Johnson’s old pairs of fireproof underwear in the bathroom one day, I promptly left him, and unfortunately got half of his No.48 memorabilia in the divorce…which I quickly hauled off to the local Goodwill…but they didn’t want it…oh, wait, sorry, I didn’t realize the voice recorder was going…oh, yes, this sort of thing is why you can’t trust politicians in Washington.”

    Whatever the truth may be, everyone knows that this controversy will not go away, as there are rumors swirling about that the Federal Government may be also subsidizing sponsorship of the cars themselves, to keep the sides of race cars from going “bad” environmentally due to placement of too many sponsor logos on their flanks…

  • Let’s Count the Reasons Bristol’s Attendance Was So Poor

    Let’s Count the Reasons Bristol’s Attendance Was So Poor

    [media-credit name=”Barry Albert” align=”alignright” width=”294″][/media-credit]Many were shocked as the Nationwide Series race approached at Bristol Motor Speedway. Why? No one I talked to could ever remember there being that many empty seats as the race began. It got worse on Sunday as the Sprint Cup drivers were entering their cars to go racing. Empty seats were everywhere and huge chunks of the stands sat empty. The “official” estimate was 120,000, but common sense told most people that it was closer to 90,000 fans in the stands. That had to be disappointing for the track and the drivers, but what was the reason? Is it the economy, the reconfiguration of the track, or the price of gasoline? It’s probably all of the above plus something else.

    Yes, the economy, though improving, is doing so slowly. Yes, people miss the old Bristol track where excitement happened on every lap. That doesn’t happen anymore unless you’re a racing purist, and let’s face it. Most fans, especially in the numbers that NASCAR attracted in the last three decades, are not racing purists. They want to see action, as in beating and banging. It just didn’t happen much, especially in the Sprint Cup race. And yes, the price of gasoline on the trip down ranged anywhere from $3.75 – $3.45 per gallon. But that’s less than the prices of a few years ago.

    I think in addition to the reasons mentioned earlier, it’s also the hype and what the economy has done to corporate sponsorship. Someone who might know told me this weekend that corporate sponsors usually took over 20% of the tickets (about 32,000) to give away to employees, customers, salespeople, and friends. That’s not happening these days. Another reason is the constant advertising on what a knock-down, drag-out race the Jeff Byrd 500 was going to be. Ever since the track was resurfaced, it hasn’t been that kind of race. It reminds most fans of a smaller Charlotte Motor Speedway. Giving the drivers another lane to race in was a popular idea…with the drivers, NASCAR and the media. It’s not so great with a lot of the fans who loyally came to Bristol in huge numbers for years to see beating and banging, but there’s another angle that is confusing.

    It doesn’t cost anything (except maybe your cable bill) to watch the race on television. Folks stayed away on Sunday. Several theories have been brought forth, and they go anywhere from the sunny day, the beginning of spring (both of which could lead to outside activities), and even the fact that Kyle Busch dominates races at Bristol these days. Whatever the reason, viewership was down 7% in early reporting. That’s a bunch for what many call “The Bristol Race.” Maybe by August, the economy will improve, gas prices will drop, and drivers will start using the “chrome horn” again because they can. Maybe corporate sponsorship will return, but I doubt they’ll be changing the track back to what it was before progressive banking was installed in the high-banked turns. The new Bristol is different, and we might as well get used to it. Besides, this Bristol is much better than no Bristol at all!

    BITS AND PIECES

    Strange as this may sound, there was lots of action at Bristol this weekend, but most of it was not during the race (which is an unfair assessment—there was some good racing in both the Nationwide and Cup Series races).

    Goodyear decided the tire they brought to Bristol was simply not going to work, so they did something that was both heralded as brilliant and stupid in one stroke. After all the teams had practiced and qualified on the new tire, Goodyear decided to use the right sides from last year, essentially negating all the practice times teams had logged in. Since the tire company had to mount a lot of tires, teams were only given one set to use in practice on Saturday. The result threw several teams for a loop. Pole-sitter Carl Edwards didn’t find the right setup until the last 50 laps of Sunday’s race, and he finished second. Kudos should go to Goodyear, however, for correcting what might have been a bad situation if tire failures continued.

    Jennifer Jo Cobb didn’t start Saturday’s Nationwide Series race after a disagreement with her car owner. Both sides disagree on what happened, so we’ll leave it at that. Car owner Rick Russell said that starting and parking was in the plans all along. Cobb said that she first heard about it 10 minutes before the race. The result was Cobb refused to drive the car, saying that she had a commitment to her sponsors, NASCAR, and her fans to not start and park. Watching the drama as the race started with Cobb’s shiny red Mustang parked in the infield at the start of the front stretch pits was drama at its best. Apparently Cobb no longer drives for Russell’s team. Stay tuned.

    Finally, in on-track news, Brad Keselowski got the ire of Jeff Gordon on Sunday. Keselowski had problems early in the race that took him out of contention. He got back on the track and was trying to have a good finish. Jeff Gordon had fallen back from his top-10 starting position, but was at the edge of the top 10 when trying to pass Keselowski, who was three laps down. Then, while Gordon was attempting his pass, Keselowski “door-slammed” Gordon, making his march to front short-lived. “I’ll just tell Brad that the next time I’m three laps down, and he’s on the lead lap, just expect the same out of me, you know?,” Gordon said. Keselowski finished 18th, and Gordon finished 14th.