Tag: hendrick motorsports

NASCAR Top-10 Power Rankings: Las Vegas

Note: The quotes in this article are fictional.

1. Dale Earnhardt, Jr.: Earnhardt’s engine sputtered on the final lap at Las Vegas, allowing Brad Keselowski to pass for the win as fuel mileage, costing the No. 88 its second win of the year. Still, Earnhardt has a win and two runner-ups, and leads Keselowski in the points standings by one point.

“We took a gamble,”Earnhardt said. “Some would call it ‘rolling the dice.’ That would be inaccurate. We only rolled one, because my engine ‘die’d.’ And Junior Nation is not a happy bunch. ‘MPG’ has moved to the top of the Nation’s list of most-hated three-letter acronyms, right above ‘DWI’ and ‘STD.’

“If only my gas tank was as big as expectations, we would have won the race handily.”

2. Brad Keselowski: Keselowski raced by Dale Earnhardt, Jr.’s fuel-compromised Chevy on the final lap to win the Kobalt 400 at Las Vegas Motor Speedway. Keselowski also won Saturday’s Nationwide race, giving him his first weekend sweep.

“The No. 2 Miller Lite Ford was exceptional,” Keselowski said. “It’s hard to lose when you’re traveling at the speed of ‘Lite.’ This win has certainly sent our confidence sky-high. You could say we have a collective ‘brews’d ego.’

“It was a great week for Roger Penske. Not only did Penske Racing post two wins, Roger aced No. 4 at Augusta National golf course. Roger carries nothing but drivers in his bag. He’s not a member at Augusta, but he wears a green jacket nonetheless—-it’s made of money.”

3. immie Johnson: Johnson led 34 laps and finished sixth at Las Vegas, giving him three top 10’s in all three races this season. He is third in the Sprint Cup points standings, 16 out of first.

“Brad Keselowski was awarded a giant wrench for winning the Kobalt 400,” Johnson said. “It may not have been a symbolic win, but it was a symbolic trophy. And he can have it. I’m not into symblic trophies, but I am into symbolic ‘Cups.’

4. Joey Logano: Logano won the pole at Las Vegas, beating out teammate Brad Keselowski, as Penske Racing again swept the front row in qualifying. Logano finished fourth, while Keselowski notched the win.

“Brad and I love the new qualifying format,” Logano said. “Knockout qualifying has made us ‘qualifying knockouts.’ Roger put Penske on the map; we put Penske on the grid.”

5. Jeff Gordon: Gordon finished ninth in the Kobalt 400 as Hendrick Motorsports placed four drivers in the top 10, led by Earnhardt, Jr.’s runner-up. Gordon is fifth in the points standings, 18 behind Earnhardt.

“I liked Junior’s decision to gamble,” Gordon said, “despite the fact that it didn’t work out. He went ‘all in,’ and ended up ‘all out.’

“Earnhardt, Jimmie Johnson, and I all have three top-10 finishes to start the season, so it’s safe to say we’re all threats to win the Sprint Cup championship. But don’t forget about Kasey Kahne. As I’ve been saying for the last 13 years, you should be on the lookout for ‘No. 5.’”

6. Carl Edwards: Like Earnhardt, Jr., Edwards and the No. 99 team gambled on fuel mileage and came up just short. Edwards still managed to finish fifth, and vaulted two spots in the Sprint Cup points standings to sixth.

“We had a car capable of winning,” Edwards said, “but Lady Luck was not on our side. And let’s face it, she’s the only female, save for Miss Sprint Cup, worth having around in NASCAR.”

7. Matt Kenseth: Kenseth was the lone Toyota driver in the top 10 at Las Vegas, finishing tenth in the Kobalt 400. He moved up one spot to sixth in the points, where he trails Earnhardt, Jr. by 28.

“The Toyota’s didn’t quite have the speed to keep up with the Fords and Chevys,” Kenseth said. “I’m not worried. Toyota’s won 13 times last season. It’s just a matter of time before the Toyota’s re-‘Orient’ themselves at the front of the pack.”

8. Ryan Newman: Newman posted his second top-10 result of the year with a seventh at Las Vegas. He jumped six spots to ninth in the points standings, 36 out of first.

“I really feel comfortable in the Richard Childress Racing No. 31 car,” Newman said. “It’s a car that fans most associate with Jeff Burton. Sometimes, it seems like Jeff’s in the car with me. When that happens, I just do my best Richard Childress impression and tell him to leave.”

9. Kyle Busch: Busch finished 11th at Las Vegas, as Joe Gibbs Racing cars took the 10, 11, and 12 finishing spots. Busch is now tenth in the Sprint Cup points standings, 36 out of first.

“Congratulations to Brad Keselowski’s fuel tank for getting him the win,” Busch said. “Much like , it was full of it.

“My brother Kurt is planning to race in both the Indianapolis 500 and Coca Cola 600 on Sunday, May 25th. This will be historic. The last time Kurt said ‘Make it a double,’ he was talking to his plastic surgeon about his ears.”

10.Kevin Harvick: Harvick led 23 laps at Las Vegas before a broken wheel hub sent him to the garage. He eventually finished 41st, 30 laps down.

“It was a shaky day for Stewart Haas Racing,” Harvick said. “Danica Patrick was our top finisher with a 21st. Danica said that’s the highest she’s been in months, which could possibly trigger a test under NASCAR’s drug policy.”

March 12, 2014

The Final Word – Earnhardt and Keselowski rule Cup, Cup guys rule Nationwide and SHR is run out of Vegas

Three races in, and the story of the 2014 Cup season is the success of Dale Earnhardt Jr. He wins at Daytona, finishes second in Phoenix, and a hiccup in his fuel pick up was all that kept him from victory at Las Vegas. That and Brad Keselowski. Still, take a gamble, have it turn sour, and still come home second is not all that bad.

As for Brad, he joins Junior and Kevin Harvick atop the standings with a win apiece. He was in the front row when it started, again, and saw his season output now read as an almost as sizzling third, to third, to first. It would almost seem that this season’s early winners are also the most charmed, or simply the best out there. Almost.

That brings up to Kevin Harvick. His Phoenix victory came off a 13th place result at Daytona, which led into a 41st place conclusion in Las Vegas. Talk about rolling craps, and I’m not even referring to the dice game. Among the Stewart-Haas quartet, Harvick was the lone bright spot, even led for 23 laps. Then he broke his left front wheel hub and that made driving just a bit difficult. It is much easier when all the wheels on the car go round and round, and one did not really want to.

You know your operation had a bad day when Danica Patrick, at 21st, was your best finisher. SHR saw Kurt Busch come home 26th three laps down. As for Tony Stewart, he was four off and 33rd. Even Patrick had a better car than these two right out of the gate. Hell, you probably have a better contender sitting in your driveway right now.

Life has been good for both Hendrick and Penske. While Keselowski was winning, team mate Joey Logano was fourth, just as he was last week, to go with an 11th at Daytona. Junior’s trophied mates also have been hot to start. Jimmie Johnson matched his Phoenix finish by finishing sixth, to go with Daytona’s fifth place result. Jeff Gordon went from fourth, to fifth, to “slumping” to ninth at Las Vegas. Still, it is early and there are others in the neighborhood who hope to raise some arguments of their own as they head to Bristol.

Regan Smith continues to lead the Nationwide ladder. After winning at Daytona, he has come up with Top Tens the past two events. That is good. That makes him relevant. That should give him TV time. So, does anyone give a damn that the past two events have been won by Cup drivers Kyle Busch and Keselowski? I mean, I give his crew credit for getting his car back in contention on Sunday, but it is hard to be impressed when a former Cup champion kicks ass against an under-funded, less experienced field. Cup drivers took five of the six top spots. Only Keselowski deserved any face time, and I am not even sure about that.

If they wanted to talk to the relevant guys who took part on Saturday, you can give Keselowski a moment to celebrate his win, then move on to the fifth place Chase Elliott, Brian Scott in seventh, Trevor Bayne in eighth, and the over-all leader in Smith. You know, those who are actually running for a championship, those who are trying to work their way up, not just slumming to make the track owners and some sponsors happy.

Those who matter would include…

	Driver	Races	Win	T5	T10	Points	Diff
1	Regan Smith	3	1	1	3	117	—
2	Trevor Bayne	3	0	1	3	114	-3
3	Elliott Sadler	3	0	1	2	108	-9
4	Ty Dillon	3	0	0	2	105	-12
5	Chase Elliott	3	0	1	2	103	-14

In short, let the Cup guys run but if they do not win, they do not matter. Put the focus on those in Nationwide who do. Just a thought.

Bristol is next up on the calendar for this weekend. Two springs ago Elliott Sadler won the Nationwide race there. Joey Logano won it that fall. Kyle Busch has won five of the past seven, including season sweeps in 2011 and last season. Whoop-de-bloody-do.

Kyle has won four of the past ten Cup races there, as well, though none of the past five. Matt Kenseth hopes to repeat from the fall, Kasey Kahne from last spring, Denny Hamlin from before that, and Keselowski had back-to-backs before being shut out these past three. Usually the winner at Bristol is someone who matters, someone with title thoughts on his mind. More than likely, he will come from our sweet 16…

	Driver	Races	Win	T5	T10	Points	Diff
1	Dale Earnhardt, Jr.	3	1	3	3	133	—
2	Brad Keselowski	3	1	3	3	132	-1
3	Kevin Harvick	3	1	1	1	83	-50
4	Jimmie Johnson	3	0	1	3	117	-16
5	Joey Logano	3	0	2	2	116	-17
6	Jeff Gordon	3	0	2	3	115	-18
7	Matt Kenseth	3	0	0	2	105	-28
8	Carl Edwards	3	0	1	2	105	-28
9	Denny Hamlin	3	0	1	1	101	-32
10	Ryan Newman	3	0	0	2	97	-36
11	Kyle Busch	3	0	0	1	95	-38
12	Jamie McMurray	3	0	0	1	93	-40
13	Greg Biffle	3	0	0	1	86	-47
13	Austin Dillon	3	0	0	1	84	-49
15	Kasey Kahne	3	0	0	1	83	-50
16	Casey Mears	3	0	0	1	80	-53

March 10, 2014

NASCAR Top-10 Power Rankings: Phoenix

Note: The quotes in this article are fictional.

1. Dale Earnhardt, Jr.: Earnhardt finished second at Phoenix and maintained the Sprint Cup points lead. He leads Brad Keselowski by six.

“It easily could have been my second win this year,” Earnhardt said. “And two consecutive wins would have sent Junior Nation into a frenzy, which is another word for ‘alcohol-induced coma.’

“But I’m really pleased with our start to the season. This could be the year that I finally fulfill my destiny and win the Sprint Cup championship. I’m hoping fate can lead me there, because no one else has been able to.”

2. Kevin Harvick: Harvick led 224 of 312 laps in winning the Profit For CNBC 500 at Phoenix, his second consecutive spring win in the desert. Harvick kept his challengers at bay on a number of restarts in the final 50 laps.

“It was great to celebrate in Victory Lane with Miss Sprint Cup,” Harvick said. “Richard Childress is not a woman, but you can call him ‘Misses Kevin Harvick’ anyway.

“And speaking of the ‘misses,’ I celebrated my 13th wedding anniversary. After 13 years, my wife DeLana has assured me that she has no intentions of replacing me with Austin Dillon.”

3. Brad Keselowski: Keselowski won the pole and finished third, leading a strong Penske Racing at Phoenix. Teammate Joey Logano started alongside Keselowski and came home fourth.

“I won the pole in NASCAR’s first knockout qualifying session,” Keselowski said. “In my book, that’s called a ‘BKO.’

“And congratulations to my crew chief Paul Wolfe. He missed the race to be by his wife’s side for the birth of their first son. I’ve already bought little Caden a gift. It’s a Kyle Busch driver’s suit he can wear on Halloween. That way, he’ll be a ‘Wolfe in sheep’s clothing.’”

4. Jeff Gordon: Gordon finished fifth in the Profit For CNBC 500 as Hendrick Motorsports again placed three driver in the top 10, duplicating their feat from Daytona. Gordon is fourth in the point standings, ten behind Dale Earnhardt, Jr.

“Most importantly,” Gordon said, “I finished eight spots ahead of Clint Bowyer. That was weird, because I always feel like Clint is only two steps behind me.”

5. Jimmie Johnson: Johnson posted his second top-10 result with a sixth at Phoenix, following a fifth at Daytona. The six-time Sprint Cup champ is fifth in the points standings, 12 behind Dale Earnhardt, Jr.

“Have you heard?” Johnson said. “Texas Speedway president Eddie Gossage is upset that Formula 1 has a race scheduled in Austin on the same day in November that NASCAR is in Fort Worth. I’m not sure what Eddie stands to gain. Of course, it’s not the first time NASCAR has been accused of ‘running in circles’ where Formula 1 is concerned.”

6. Joey Logano: Logano finished fourth at in The Profit On CNBC 500, joining Penske teammate Brad Keselowski, in third, in the top 5. Logano is sixth in the points standings, 15 out of first.

“In case you didn’t know,” Logano said, “’The Profit’ is a show on CNBC. It’s only slightly more informative than Michael Waltrip’s pre-race walk through the pit lane on Fox. But you’ve got to commend Michael. He’s not afraid to ask to tough questions. Heck, he asked if he could kiss 50 Cent at Daytona. And I don’t even think it was a rhetorical question.”

7. Matt Kenseth: Kenseth finished seventh in the Joe Gibbs Racing No. 20 Home Depot car, posting his first top 10 of the season. He is seventh in the Sprint Cup points standings, 20 out of first.

“That car was made famous by Tony Stewart,” Kenseth said. “What else has been made famous by Tony Stewart? This Danica Patrick-Richard Petty feud. One would think that after starting his own race team, Tony would learn to mind his own business.

“Personally, I would love to see Patrick and Petty in a race. It could be huge. All that’s needed is a pay-per-view audience, Stewart to continue his role as hype man, and a catchy slogan, like ‘The King And Eye (Candy),’ or ‘Age Before Beauty?,’ ‘Is This Really Necessary?’”

8. Denny Hamlin: Hamlin followed up his second-place run at Daytona with a disappointing 19th at Phoenix. Hamlin pitted during a late caution while most of the leaders stayed out, costing him track position which he could not recover.

“The No. 11 FedEx Toyota dealt with handling issues all day long,” Hamlin said. “I can’t tell you how many pit stops we made. Luckily, with the race being in Arizona, I wasn’t denied service based on my sexuality.”

9. Carl Edwards: Edwards led the Roush Fenway Racing contingent at Phoenix, scoring an eighth-place finish in the Profit For CNBC 500. He is ninth in the points standings, 25 out of first.

“What a performance by Kevin Harvick,” Edwards said. “He was so much better than everyone else, especially on restarts. Just ask Richard Childress—when Kevin says ‘goodbye,’ he means it.”

10. Ryan Newman: Newman posted a seventh at Phoenix, leading the way for Richard Childress Racing as former RCR driver Kevin Harvick won easily.

“I’m driving the No. 31 car formerly piloted by Jeff Burton,” Newman said. “But I’m not your typical RCR driver. Two things to remember: I’m not Richard Childress’ grandson, and Wadd Button is not my brother.”

March 5, 2014
Daytona 500 and Olympics End With Similar Storylines

This past weekend, the 56^th running of the Daytona 500 kicked off the 2014 NASCAR season, while the Winter Olympics wrapped up business in Sochi, Russia. Yet, as disparate as the competition was, from stock car racing to ice dancing, there were some surprisingly similar story lines when all was said and done.

Gold Medal Pressure Packed Performances

Both the Daytona 500 and the Winter Olympics undoubtedly featured gold medal performances, including the first US gold medal in Alpine skiing, as well as the Great American race win by NASCAR’s most popular driver.

And yet interestingly enough for both competitors, Ted Ligety and Dale Earnhardt Jr. respectively, their gold medal, award winning performances ended up like weights being lifted off their shoulders.

“This is the event I wanted most,” Ligety, the first American man to win two Alpine skiing gold medals, said. “It’s the event I’ve been putting so much pressure on myself to win, so to pull through is an awesome feeling. I’m super happy.”

“It’s a big race and you want to win it so badly, and your team wants to win so badly,” Earnhardt Jr. said. “You realize at that moment that there are countless people watching on television and there are countless people sitting in the grandstands with your shirts and hats on, and your team is over on the pit wall and your family back home — there are so many people pulling for you and want to see you win.”

“It was a heavy weight that was lifted.”

Silver Medal Disappointments

While the runner up position might feel like a triumph to many athletes, to the US Women’s Hockey team and to Joe Gibbs racer Denny Hamlin, second place was an absolute disappointment.

The US Women’s Hockey team surrendered a two goal lead in the final period of the game, losing to their Canadian rivals, who scored the gold.

“We were up two goals, so it’s heartbreaking and shocking that we didn’t win the game,” forward Kelli Stack said. “It feels like a bad dream.”

Just like the US Women’s Hockey Team, who appeared to have everything going for them until the bitter end, Denny Hamlin, behind the wheel of the No. 11 FedEx Express Toyota, was having a stellar Speedweeks, winning the Sprint Unlimited and one of the Duels.

But then along came the Daytona 500, where the driver had an almost catastrophic situation develop in that he had not radio communication with his spotter. Between the radio issue and the loss of speed, Hamlin finished a disappointing second in the Great American Race.

“Our cars just weren’t as good as the week progressed,” Hamlin said. “Maybe we were the same, but the competition definitely got better. It wasn’t as easy to pass as it was early in the week.”

“It’s a tough business,” Hamlin continued. “Our car was OK. Given the right circumstances, it was a race winner.”

Cinderella Stories

Another similar storyline that emerged from both the Daytona 500 and the Winter Olympics were those inspiring Cinderella stories. In the Olympics, one such story was Mikaela Shiffrin, who became the youngest slalom champ in Olympic history at age 18.

Her run, however, was not completely smooth as she lost her balance a bit going through the gates and also lost her left ski which rose way too far off the course.

She persevered and did not give up, moving from having what she described as a “terrifying” run to an Olympic gold medal run.

“It’s going to be something that I chalk up as one of my favorite experiences for the rest of my life,” Shiffrin said. “But my life’s not over yet.”

In the Daytona 500, another Cinderella story unfolded with rookie driver Austin Dillon, who was bringing the storied No. 3 car back to the track after being driven by the late Dale Earnhardt, Sr.

Dillon actually started the Great American race from the pole position, battled some difficulties and some crashes throughout the race, yet finished in the top-10 as the highest finishing rookie.

“I think the yellow stripe on the bumper (signifying a rookie) showed a little bit tonight, but we made it through it,” Dillon said. “It was fun. I had a blast. The car was fast.”

Agony of Defeat

Every Olympic athlete, as well as every NASCAR driver, goes into competition with the full intent on doing their very best. Unfortunately, things sometimes go awry and the defeat can be a most bitter pill to swallow.

Both Shaun White, infamous snow boarder, and Martin Truex, Jr., behind the wheel of his new ride in the No. 78 Furniture Row Chevrolet, shared their own versions of the agony of defeat.

White lost out on a medal after crashing in the halfpipe competition, ending his ‘three-peat’ effort.

“I didn’t really get to break out everything, which is frustrating. Tricks were still in my pocket,” White said. “I definitely knew what run I wanted to put down, and my dream scenario was I was going to land that first run and then maybe have the opportunity to do something that hadn’t been done before. I tried to win. I went for it.”

Martin Truex Jr. had a similar experience to White in that he started out with high hopes on the outside pole for the Daytona 500, only to crash out in the qualifying race, relegating him to the back of the starting field in a backup car.

Then on lap 32, Truex’s backup car blew an engine and his hopes and dreams went up in smoke with the car.

“It’s definitely a tough break for the team,” Truex said. “I went to bed the night before the race thinking this was my best chance to win the Daytona 500.”

Just Happy to Be in the Show

In both the Olympics and the Daytona 500, there are competitors that are just happy to be part of the even itself, no matter where they finished. And for the Jamaican bobsled team as well as for Michael Waltrip, sometime racer and broadcaster, that was just the case.

“It’s a great race for the fans and it was really fun to be out there and to be part of it,” Waltrip said after finishing 41^st in his No. 66 Blue-Def/AAA Toyota.

The Jamaican Bob Sled team finished 29^th in their two-man competition, yet remained as upbeat as ever, channeling their inner ‘Cool Runnings.’

“We have the athletic ability. We have shown we can do it,” Chris Stokes, president of the Jamaica Bobsleigh Federation, said. “We just have to pull things together in Jamaica itself.”

In the End, It’s All About Family

Whether in NASCAR or the Olympics, the athletes and teams who compete only do so with the support of their families and extended families.

For Olympic Skeleton racer Noelle Pikus-Pace, it was all about her loved ones as she slid to a silver medal, all with her family by her side. In fact, the mother of two, a 6 year old daughter and a 2 year old son, said that her children were her inspiration as she trained for the international competition.

“After all of the hard work that not only I but my family put in to achieve this dream, it came in those minutes, those seconds,” Pikus-Pace, 31, told PEOPLE of her Sochi success. “It really was a fairytale ending.”

The same fairytale ending was true for the Hendrick family in NASCAR, with Hendrick Motorsports driver Dale Earnhardt, Jr. in victory lane and HMS teammates Jeff Gordon and Jimmie Johnson in the top-five.

“Oh my God, I am so excited for the Hendrick family and Hendrick Motorsports right now,” Jeff Gordon said. “This team did an amazing job and gave me a great race car at the end of the show.”

And so as the Olympic flame was extinguished and as the confetti flew at the end of the Daytona 500, the competitions ended with very similar storylines.

For the Winter Olympians, there will be a four year hiatus and wait until the next big event. But for the NASCAR competitors, the next race is simply around the bend at Phoenix International Speedway next weekend.

February 25, 2014
NASCAR 2014 Season Predictions

*Kyle Busch leads 54 laps and passes Ryan Newman on the final lap to win the Daytona 500, his first Sprint Cup win at the season opener. In a post-race interview with Erin Andrews, Busch announces that he and his wife Samantha are pregnant with their first child. Busch beams to Andrews that “I’m sure I’ll be a good father, because I know what it’s like to be a baby.”

Busch finishes second in the Sprint Cup point standings, winning five races, and caps his year with a win at Homestead and his first Sprint Cup championship.

*Tony Stewart vows to win his third Sprint Cup championship in 2014, and fans and other drivers notice his new attitude. Former teammate Ryan Newman quips in an interview at Daytona that Stewart seems to be “walking with a purpose, as well as a limp.”

Stewart wins at Watkins Glen and qualifies for the Chase, but finishes a disappointing seventh in the final standings.

*Dale Earnhardt, Jr.’s No. 88 car gets a new sponsor just in time for the Daytona 500 when an online funeral planning service signs on for 12 races. The service, known as “Final-E” sees a boom in business after their logo appears on Earnhardt’s Chevy.

Earnhardt finishes second in the Daytona 500, and wins at Daytona in July on his way to a fourth place finish in the Sprint Cup points standings.

*Kevin Harvick coins the name “Two Men And A Babe, And Kurt Busch” to describe the Stewart-Haas Racing stable of Stewart, Harvick, Kurt Busch, and Danica Patrick after a heated drivers’ meeting following wreck at Fontana initiated by aggressive driving from Busch.

Harvick, aided by new buddy Stewart, exacts his revenge the following week at Martinsville, where the two craft an elaborate hoax in which a phony façade of Busch’s hauler placed in front of a Port-A-Potty lures Busch into a trap. Once inside, Busch is fork-lifted to an outer parking lot, and is forced to walk back and misses qualifying.

*E! Network and ABC collaborate on a new reality show called “Keeping Up With The Chase Format: Extreme Makeover: NASCAR Edition.” In the show, host Brad Daugherty roams around NASCAR events asking fans if they understand not only the Chase For The Cup format, but Daugherty’s hayseed, mountain drawl.

*Richard Childress Racing rookie Austin Dillon bulls his way to the win in a wreck-filled race at Bristol on March 16, as only 22 cars are running at the end. In Victory Lane, Dillon salutes his detractors with a middle finger, then pops the top on a beer before shouting “Austin 3:16 says I just whipped your ass!”

The outburst makes Dillon a sensation, but also saddles the driver of the Childress No. 3 Chevy with the nickname “The Imitator.”

*In an interview promoting a partnership between the No. 48 team and Caesar’s Palace before the March race in Las Vegas, Jimmie Johnson coins his quest for his seventh Sprint Cup championship “VIIni, VIIdi, VIIci.”

Later, after International Speedway Corporation CEO Jim France makes Smith an insulting offer for Las Vegas Motor Speedway, Smith slaps France, leading a fallen France to quip, “Et tu, Bruton?”

Johnson leads the points standings for most of the year, and heads to Homestead with a chance to win No. 7, but engine trouble ends his day. He finishes third in the points standings.

*Danica Patrick and Ricky Stenhouse, Jr. elope in Barbados on April 19th at a ceremony presided over by Russell Brand and streamed live on GoDaddy.com. Patrick wears a Vera Wang gown crafted from fire-suit material and accented with a HANS device and also featuring a plunging neckline that leaves little to the imagination.

Patrick’s good fortune continues when she wins at Talladega on May 3rd, darting from 23rd to first on the final lap as a wild pileup eliminates half the field. A wild celebration ensues in Victory Lane, where Patrick delivers a message to her competitors, “There’s a party at my house. I hate to be ‘Petty,’ but no one’s invited, so you can all go home.”

*In a new advertisement for ESPN’s Sportscenter, Clint Bowyer leads a spin class in the ESPN company workout facility, while Michael Waltrip is seen guiding a tour group from Finland around ESPN’s headquarters. The commercial ends when Bowyer and Waltrip dupe the tour group into paying a second admission fee before they’re busted by Jeff Gordon and Ryan Newman, who accuse the MWR duo of “manipulating the Finnish.”

*Carl Edwards is scheduled to make an appearance in the March 2nd episode of AMC’s The Walking Dead, in which he portrays the leader of a brainless following of half-dead dimwits, a group eerily similar to the Carl Edwards Fan Club.

To publicize the event, the No. 99 sports a Subway/The Walking Dead paint scheme bearing the slogan, “Subway: Eat Flesh” at Phoenix. Edwards leads 88 laps and wins in a race that features only three lead changes. In Victory Lane, Edwards performs his trademark back flip while disappointed fans file out like zombies.

*Matt Kenseth wins the Duck Commander 500 at Texas Motor Speedway on April 6th, and is presented the winner’s trophy by “Duck Dynasty” patriarch Phil Robertson, who oddly comments that his favorite parts of the 1.5-mile track are the “straights.”

*After a crash at Kentucky Speedway on June 28th, Brad Keselowski and Carl Edwards are summoned to the NASCAR hauler for a talk with NASCAR officials. Keselowski creates a firestorm when he tweets a picture from inside the hauler, a photo which shows he and Edwards smoking cigars and playing ping-pong while officials in the background relax in a hot tub.

Keselowski is placed on probation for two weeks, while NASCAR bans cell phones and all liquids in excess of 3.4 ounces. 5-Hour Energy shots takes advantage of the opportunity, and becomes the official drink of drivers called to the NASCAR hauler.

*June’s road race at Sonoma is delayed for three hours after a mild earthquake strikes the region, causing slight damage to the circuit’s surface. Swan Racing part-owner 50 Cent is seen inspecting a fissure in the track along pit road, leading to TNT’s Kyle Petty to make the controversial statement, “Well, he was a crack dealer.”

50 laughs off the comment, and later in the year makes a big splash when, as honorary starter at Dover in June, eschews waving the green flag and instead fires a starters pistol nine times. In doing so, 50 becomes the first rapper to be “shot nine times” twice.

*Gene Haas abandons his plan to enter Formula 1 and instead opts to field a funny car in the NHRA. Haas car flops, failing to qualify for a single final, and becomes the laughingstock in the drag racing garage, leading to the nickname “Funny Haas Haas.”

*A healthy Denny Hamlin wins four races on the season, including March’s Martinsville race, where he fights off a challenge from Joey Logano, than challenges Logano to a fight after the race. Hamlin and Logano settle their differences in a charity 1-on-1 basketball game, which ends in a tie, 1-to-1.

Hamlin qualifies for the “Elimination Round” of NASCAR’s revamped Chase For The Cup format, and wins at Phoenix on November 9th, but tweaks his back shaking an oversized champagne bottle and struggles the following week at Homestead.

February 12, 2014
Sprint Media Tour – Day Two – Furniture Row Racing and Hendrick Motorsports

The final two stops on day two of the tour featured Furniture Row Racing and Hendrick Motorsports. Furniture Row found its most success last season with Kurt Busch in the driver’s seat, but Busch has been replaced by Martin Truex, Jr., who piloted a Michael Waltrip Racing Toyota in 2013.

Furniture Row is the only single car team to ever make the Chase and is the only Cup team headquartered west of the Mississippi River. Their alliance with Richard Childress Racing was hailed as vital to their performance.

“Our team is intact from last year,” said team manager Joe Garone. “We didn’t want the season to end.” Crew Chief Todd Berrier said, “Things have come together very well with Martin. I felt like we had strong opportunities to win races last year, so we strengthened the things we needed to work on.”

In an unusual turn of events, Truex was not at the press conference. After some jokes about where in the world he was, he appeared on the big screen during his vacation in the Caribbean. Questions were asked of Truex from a really long distance.

“I know all of you are tired of hearing everyone say they are excited for this year, so I’ll just say I’m fired up, Truex said. “I couldn’t be more pleased about how the way things have gone. Luckily, we will be in the Chase. I’ve been in the Chase and kicked out of the Chase before. I want to take this team to the next level. I wanted to get away from last year and what happened at the end of the season and this situation helps a lot.”

The final team on Day Two’s schedule was NASCAR’s most successful team of the last two decades, Hendrick Motorsports. The first question team owner Rick Hendrick was asked is what is most thrilling moment in the 30 years HMS has existed?

“I think it will have to be when Ricky (Hendrick’s son who was killed in a plane crash near Martinsville, Virginia) won his truck race. My second most thrilling moment was when Geoff Bodine won the first race for HMS at Martinsville. We were about to close the doors on the operation, and those that close rarely ever open up again.”

Asked about the changes to qualifying that NASCAR has proposed, the drivers (Jeff Gordon, Jimmie Johnson, Kasey Kahne and Dale Earnhardt, Jr.), all seemed to be in agreement.

Johnson said if it was good for the sport and it would keep the grandstands full and television ratings high, he was all for it. Kahne felt it would give him a better shot of winning and starting near the front. Earnhardt said that he was “all for it,” and even though he does not like change, he has gotten used to it. Gordon said after watching Formula-1, he thinks it will create excitement for the race.

When Hendrick was asked why he wasn’t heavily invested in the Nationwide Series, he said, “I had a development program a few years ago and it almost broke me, but helping Dale, Jr. has helped. I’ll help him to do that.”

Other issues were discussed including the bet between Kyle Busch and Kahne on the Super Bowl. Kahne is an avid Seahawks fan and Busch is a Broncos fan. Who ever wins has to wear the other team’s jersey for a week. “I don’t want to wear an orange jersey under any circumstances,” Kahne said.

January 29, 2014
Are We Seeing The Sun Set On Jeff Gordon’s Career?

Jeff Gordon will always be, at the very, very least, one of the top ten best drivers in NASCAR history on any list. The guy whose Racing Reference page costs $95 to sponsor. The Tom Brady of racing. He’s the driver of the 1990’s who will probably end his career with over 90 wins, a first ballet Hall of Famer, and helped a team go from race winners to champions. If Jimmie Johnson is the Derek Jeter of Hendrick Motorsports, Gordon is the Babe Ruth without the drinking and about 50 pounds lighter. But is it time for him to get out?

Ten or so years ago, Gordon was at undoubtedly the lowest point in his entire life (Yes, lower than the 2008 season). In the middle of a nasty divorce with his first wife, he was at one point reduced to living with his team owner Rick Hendrick. Fast-foreword to the present. From the outside looking in (and I do think this is the case), he has a loving wife and children, a big house, and millions upon millions of dollars. Not only that, but he is the part owner of a car that has won six of the past eight Sprint Cup Series championships, is probably going to become a team manager at Hendrick Motorsports in retirement, and may even take over the entire operation if Rick ever wanted to retire. So if he were to go out tomorrow and announce his retirement, he’s already pretty set up for it.

As a talent, he’s still doing very well for himself. Ten years ago, there were only a good 10-15 cars that could contend for a win each week. Now it’s more like 30. So generally, if you come out of a season in the Chase and with a win or two, you have done incredibly well for yourself. That’s exactly what Gordon has done for more or less the last six years. That may not be Gordon like, but 95% of drivers in NASCAR would kill for that type of constant success.

However, if I were to ever point to a turning point in Gordon’s career where he went from being Gordon to being…. not Gordon, it’s Las Vegas 2008, the third race of the 2008 season. In the closing laps of the race, Gordon spun out and hit a non-SAFER barrier wall at an alarming rate of speed. While he did not break anything that I am aware of, this came less than a year after the birth of his first child. I obviously can’t say for certain, but I think something changed that day for him.

I can’t outright quote him (I can’t find the quotes), but I do remember Darrell Waltrip saying (I want to say in his book) two things about things of this nature. The first being that after you’ve been in a really bad wreck, you drive different and might not take as many risks. In 1990, Waltrip had a horrible practice wreck at Daytona that sidelined him for six races, after which he only won five more races over 10 years, in a career that finished with 84 wins. He also never finished higher than eighth in the point standings. That could be due to the fact of the teams he was driving for, but I digress. The other being that, when he was hired by Junior Johnson in the early 80’s, Junior told him at one point that the best drivers are under 35. Gordon was 36 when the accident happened.

Should Gordon retire now? No. He hasn’t fallen off the wagon like Waltrip did, and still makes the Chase and wins races every year. Is his time limited? Yes. I have a pretty good feeling that, in a few years, there will be a young Hendrick Motorsports development driver who has had some Nationwide Series seasons under his belt and is ready for the big time. The only way I can see Chase Elliott getting into Sprint Cup without jumping off the Hendrick ship, which I don’t see happening, is if Kasey Kahne leaves at the end his contact after the 2015 season (unlikely) or if Gordon retires sometime over the next three years (much more likely). At the end of the day, Gordon has probably realized this, and I think he wants only the best for Hendrick Motorsports.

While plenty of Gordon fans will probably dismiss this article as nothing more than mere retirement speculation that has been going on for five years now. When Brett Favre first retired in 2008, the first speculation of retirement was happening in 2002-2003. I think it’s only a matter of time until it happens. And, honestly, I think the last thing anybody reading this article wants is for Jeff Gordon to go out like Favre.

December 22, 2013
NASCAR Top-10 Power Rankings: Homestead

Note: The quotes in this article are fictional.

1. Jimmie Johnson: Johnson clinched his sixth Sprint Cup championship, and first in two years, with a ninth at Homestead. He finished the season 19 points ahead of Matt Kenseth.

“That’s Cup number six,” Johnson said. “Now it takes two hands to indicate my championships. That makes me a second-hand champion, and that’s something everyone needs to get ‘used’ to.”

2. Matt Kenseth: Kenseth started on the pole at Homestead and finished second, as Jimmie Johnson clinched the Sprint Cup championship. Kenseth finished second in the standings, 19 points back.

“We gave it our all,” Kenseth said, “but that wasn’t enough. And it’s painful. But, all in all, it was a successful year for Joe Gibbs Racing. Still, JGR gently weeps.”

3. Kevin Harvick: In his last race for Richard Childress Racing, Harvick took tenth in the Ford EcoBoost 400. He finished third in the points standings, 34 out of first.

“Like Kurt Busch, I’m off to drive for Tony Stewart,” Harvick said. “I expect a smooth transition from RCR to Stewart Haas. Why? Because with Busch as a teammate, I already want to leave.”

4. Dale Earnhardt, Jr.: Earnhardt finished third at Homestead, posting his tenth top-5 result of the year. He completed the year fifth in the points, 56 behind Hendrick Motorsports teammate Jimmie Johnson.

“I was awesome over the last five races,” Earnhardt said. “In fact, I scored more points over the final five Chase races than Johnson and Matt Kenseth. Unlike me, Johnson can look back fondly on the ‘first five.’”

5. Kyle Busch: Busch finished seventh in the Ford EcoBoost 400, scoring his 22nd top-10 result of the year. He finished the season fourth in the Sprint Cup points standings, 55 behind Jimmie Johnson.

“I’m happy to have a respectable Chase finish,” Busch said. “But this championship is all about Jimmie Johnson. Six Cups is historic. Based on his driving, Jimmie deserves a statue. Based on his personality, he is a statue.”

6. Jeff Gordon: Gordon, who won last year at Homestead, took 11th on Sunday, just missing his 18th top 10 of the year. He is sixth in the Sprint Cup points standings, 82 out of first.

“Jimmie Johnson raised the championship trophy for the sixth time,” Gordon said. “I guess you could say, ‘The world is his hoister.’”

7. Joey Logano: Logano, in the No. 22 Penske Ford, finished eighth at Homestead. He finished eighth in the points standings, 96 out of first.

“My friends call me ‘Sliced Bread,’” Logano said. “My enemies call me ‘Slight Build,’ probably because I’m no threat, to them or the Sprint Cup championship.”

8. Brad Keselowski: Keselowski won Saturday’s Nationwide Ford EcoBoost 300 and finished sixth in Sunday’s Ford EcoBoost 400. Jimmie Johnson clinched the Sprint Cup title as Keselowski’s one-year reign as champion came to an end.

“This year gave me very little to shout about,” Keselowski said, “and even less to tweet about. But I’m still one of NASCAR’s most individualistic drivers. Hopefully, when all is said and done, they won’t be calling me the ‘one and only’ because of my single Sprint Cup title.”

9. Greg Biffle: Biffle struggled with handling issues and came home 24th at Homestead, finishing ninth in the points standings, the highest among Roush Fenway Racing drivers.

“I’m of good mind to give Jimmie Johnson a piece of my mind,” Biffle said. “Maybe that way, he’ll give me a piece of his, and I can finally say I have the mindset of a champion.”

10. Clint Bowyer: Bowyer finished fifth in the Ford EcoBoost 400 at Homestead. He finished seventh in the points standings, 83behind Jimmie Johnson.

“Did you see Johnson’s victory burnout?” Bowyer said. “It was impressive, but didn’t produce anything like the smokescreen I made with my spin at Richmond.”

November 19, 2013
The Final Word goes to Jimmie Johnson…again

He is one of the greatest drivers of all time. Jimmie Johnson’s name has long been among such icons as Tony Stewart, Darrell Waltrip, Cale Yarborough, David Pearson, and Lee Petty. By the time he was done his run of five, he had even surpassed Jeff Gordon and now only Dale Earnhardt and Richard Petty have claimed more titles. He is the best driver of his era, he has the best crew chief in Chad Knaus, drives for the best team owned by Rick Hendrick and, with the departure of NAPA, you could argue that Lowe’s is even the best sponsor in NASCAR. Is it any wonder Johnson has six Cup championships to his credit?

There are those who do not like to see one guy win so much. If I am watching greatness, if I am watching what has become an historic championship dynasty, I believe I am fortunate to be a witness to it. No one had before won five straight crowns and only two legends have won more titles over their career. Some may forget that Matt Kenseth, the race and season runner up, Kurt Busch, Bobby Labonte, Dale Jarrett, or even 2012 winner Brad Keselowski are former champs. No one with even a passing interest in the sport could ever say the same about Jimmie Johnson even years from today. Love him or not, Johnson is the Celtics, Yankees, Canadiens, and Eskimos (remember, I am Canadian) of his sport. Chad Knaus is their Red Auerbach, Joe McCarthy, Toe Blake, and Hugh Campbell. By the way, is Six Time a real athlete? If Donovan McNabb, who is ten months younger than Johnson, would like to challenge the driver to wind sprints, be my guest.

Johnson finished ninth on Sunday, while ten of the 13 Chasers finished among the Top 13 on the day. The race marked the likely final run in the Cup career of Juan Pablo Montoya (18th at Homestead) while Mark Martin (882 races) and Ken Schrader (763) seem to be done at this level. Still, something tells me that you can be sure to see them racing something somewhere yet.

Ricky Stenhouse Jr was 22nd on Sunday and named the circuit’s top rookie. His competition, and girlfriend, Danica Patrick was two spots better at Homestead. That did not happen often enough. The boy had 25 Top 20’s in 2013, the girl had 9.

Rating Homestead – 7/10 – Only late in the game was one fully secure in the probability Johnson would lay claim to the crown. Kenseth threatened to win the race to maximize his points day, and it was up to the newly named Six Time to avoid disaster. Denny Hamlin ended a horrid season with a victory, Junior mattered in this race and season, and we learned not to get too close to a burning tire. Now, if I could mute the announcers while maintaining the ambient sound, my television experience could be truly enhanced.

No change in the announce booth for 2014. Same goes for the schedule, though some off season tinkering with the car hopefully might equate into more successful passing. Change is coming on the track, as ten full-time rides will have different hands on the wheel. One ride is gone (#56) to be replaced by two new full-time entries (#41 and #95), with two changing numbers (#29 becomes either #3 or #33, and #39 becomes #4). All this, and we still have about a hundred days before they fire up at Daytona.

Enjoy the winter!

November 19, 2013
The Near Infallible & Unstoppable Force That Is Jimmie Johnson & Team 48

In racing, there are three kinds of champions. The first one is obvious; it’s the driver who hoists the Cup at season’s end after they out-perform their adversaries on the track. Then there are the ones that were born champions but hold no such trophies. The ones of impeccable character who only speak when they have something say. They are humble, tenacious, self-motivated and are incapable of comprehending the words, “it can’t be done.” Then we have the racers that are both. Jimmie Johnson is among that elite contingent.

Jimmie Johnson is now a six-time NASCAR Sprint Cup Series champion which is a feat accomplished only by Richard Petty and Dale Earnhardt until now. That team has gone into the final race of the season with a mathematical shot at winning the championship nearly every season since 2004 with the exception of 2011. Over the years, he’s battled and defeated great drivers such as Jeff Gordon, Matt Kenseth, Carl Edwards, Denny Hamlin, Kevin Harvick, and Mark Martin in his pursuit of six championships.

Why Is The No.48 Team So Good?

When you take one of the most talented drivers out there, put him in the best equipment there is and combine that with a genius like Chad Knaus, magical things are going to happen. This is the era of the No.48 and in my eyes; it’s the greatest race team to ever exist in the history of NASCAR. Rick Hendrick doesn’t need to give pep talks to his guys as motivation. Hendrick Motorsports employees know what is expected of them and they always deliver.

Jimmie has the car control, the mental fortitude, the natural talent to wheel the fastest cars in the field to the max of their capabilities and most crucially, he thrives when the pressure is applied. Chad Knaus is an innovator that takes the fastest and most durable cars in the field and somehow, makes them go even faster. You can put their backs against a wall, throw as much adversity as you want their way and they will still find a way to emerge victorious. That is why this group is always at or near the top every single year. They are the complete package. There is no Achilles Heel.

What Does Title No.6 Mean?

When this team won a 5th straight, that was a remarkable accomplishment but there is something about winning a 6th that takes them to whole new level. Jimmie is plus two titles over any other driver in history besides Petty and Earnhardt who hold a coveted 7th. Less than a decade ago, he didn’t even have a single championship to his credit and to think that Jimmie Johnson is just one more stellar year away from matching those two immortals of stock car racing is nearly incomprehensible to me. The No.48 team can certainly be beat, they are human believe it or not but take away the rear gear failure at Homestead in 2012, the wreck they had there in 2005 and we may be looking at an eight-time champion right now.

Impact On NASCAR

For NASCAR, Jimmie Johnson winning yet another championship is a double-edged sword. It’s great because Jimmie is a perfect representative for the sport. He is a family man, a class act, articulate, engages with the fans on social media and never ruffles any feathers. Now here’s why it’s a double-edged sword. Johnson’s dominance has led a lot of fans to greatly dislike him. (That’s the nice way of putting it) In fact, I read countless tweets from people saying that they were not going to watch the season finale just because he was most likely going to win the title.

Some of his detractors have quit watching the sport altogether and then there are others who come up with eccentric theories in an attempt to deny the incontrovertible fact that he is one of best drivers of all-time. Last year, NASCAR’s champion was the highly outspoken and sometimes brash, Brad Keselowski. It’s obvious that someone stirring the pot all the time and giving interviews to SportsCenter while drunk is going to get more eyeballs turned our way compared to a driver such as 6-time (gotta get used to saying that sooner than later) who is never embroiled in any controversies.

What The Future Holds

Chad Knaus issued an ominous warning Sunday night when he said that the No.48 team isn’t even close to their full potential yet. Cue the audible gulp from the racing community. When will this dynasty finally come to an end? At seven? Maybe eight? Heck, could they even reach 10? I see no team, no driver that is capable of taking this team down for good. The thing that will permanently end the reign of Jimmie Johnson will most likely be something you can’t fight back against and that’s time. He’s 37 years old and considering how fit Jimmie is, he could have well over ten more years left in him although I don’t see 42 year old Chad Knaus sticking around that long. Keep in mind that he’s won six titles and sixty-six races in eight years when thinking about how many he’s got left behind the wheel.

One day, Jimmie Johnson will be inducted into the NASCAR HOF and people will watch old videos of him in absolute awe of what he accomplished. He will be labeled a legend and revered by all. Fans will want to be edified about his career and wish they could have been there in person to witness it. He will be idolized, immortalized and no longer criticized. That day is not here yet though.

We are witnessing history right now with Jimmie Johnson. You don’t have to like it but you better respect it.

November 18, 2013