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  • NASCAR Top-10 Power Rankings: Texas

    NASCAR Top-10 Power Rankings: Texas

    Note: The quotes in this article are fictional.

    1. Jimmie Johnson: Johnson took sixth in the NRA 500 at Texas Motor Speedway on Saturday night and held on to the lead in the Sprint Cup point standings. He leads Brad Keselowski by nine points.

    “I think leaving Texas with the points lead is important,” Johnson said, “and a good sign that I’ll win my sixth Sprint Cup championship. Just call me ‘number 1 with a bullet.’”

    2. Kyle Busch: Busch completed the sweep at Texas, following his Friday Nationwide win with a Saturday triumph in the NRA 500. Busch beat Martin Truex, Jr. out of the pits on the race’s final caution and led the final 16 laps.

    “I led 171 laps on Saturday night,” Busch said, “or as they’re called at Texas Motor Speedway, ‘rounds.’

    “With Denny Hamlin out with a back injury, and Matt Kenseth his typical hum-drum self, Joe Gibbs Racing is truly in a Lone Star ‘state.’”

    3. Brad Keselowski: Keselowski finished ninth in the NRA 500 after scrambling to change the No. 2 Miller Lite Dodge’s rear-end housing, which NASCAR had deemed illegal. After the race, Keselowski lashed out at NASCAR, claiming his team had been unfairly targeted in the garage area.

    “NASCAR can kiss my rear-end housing,” Keselowski said. “I apologize for my rant, but what better place than the NRA 500 to go ballistic on NASCAR. And what better place for NASCAR to wield its itchy trigger finger when it comes to accessing inspections.”

    4. Kasey Kahne: Kahne just missed his fifth top-10 finish of the year with an 11th in the NRA 500. He is seventh in the point standings, 37 out of first.

    “I’m not sure the NRA will be back as a sponsor for a race,” Kahne said. “But Mark Martin’s got a plan. Since he’s real tight with the rap community, he thinks there should be the ‘NWA 500.’ Of course, that’s pending NASCAR approval, as well as the construction of a track in Compton, California.”

    5. Joey Logano: Logano nearly missed the start of Saturday’s race, arriving late to the grid after a NASCAR inspection forced the No. 22 team to change the car’s rear-end housing. After starting at the back of the field, Logano worked his way to a fifth-place finish, and moved up two places to ninth in the point standings.

    “Starting at the back of the field?” Logano said. “That’s the real ‘rear-end housing.’

    “Luckily, though, the lengthy inspection process afforded me ample time to catch up on some reading, particularly some dated copies of Denny Hamlin Magazine. They’re called ‘back issues.’”

    6. Clint Bowyer: Bowyer finished 15th in the NRA 500, as Michael Waltrip Racing teammate Martin Truex, Jr. took the runner-up spot. Bowyer remained eighth in the point standings, and trails Jimmie Johnson by 61.

    “I support the 2nd Amendment,” Bowyer said. “And, I also support the ‘5th’ Amendment—5-Hour Energy shots for everyone!”

    7. Greg Biffle: A strong run at Texas for Roush Fenway Racing saw Biffle finish fourth, one spot behind teammate Carl Edwards. Biffle is now fourth in the Sprint Cup point standings, 30 out of first.

    “Did someone at Hendrick Motorsports rat out Penske Racing?” Biffle said. “Conspiracy theories abound, with many saying someone at Hendrick pointed NASCAR in the direction of the Penske car’s rear housings. And when Rick Hendrick says ‘jump,’ NASCAR asks the same thing as they do of the height of Penske rear-end housings—‘how high?’”

    8. Dale Earnhardt, Jr.: Earnhardt lost battery power while running third on Saturday night, but didn’t realize it was a battery issue until later. Instead of switching to backup power, Earnhardt pitted, and after an unfortunate series of events, Earnhardt was penalized twice. He finished 29th, four laps down.

    “Luckily,” Earnhardt said, “I only shot myself in the foot. Unfortunately, I thought the problem was something else, and not the battery. That’s called ‘getting jumped’ to a conclusion.”

    9. Carl Edwards: Edwards posted his fourth top-5 result of the season with a third in the NRA 500. He improved two places to fifth in the point standings, and now trails Jimmie Johnson by 35.

    “I felt right at home at TMS,” Edwards said. “As NASCAR’s resident fitness freak, I feel quite comfortable showing my ‘guns.’ And what about these super fans here in Texas, all decked out in their sleeveless shirts. Obviously, they support the right to bare arms.”

    10. Matt Kenseth: Kenseth finished 12th at Texas as Joe Gibbs Racing teammate Kyle Busch won from the pole. Kenseth is now 11th in the point standings, 65 out of first.

    “We had a mishap in the pits in which a crew member’s foot caught fire,” Kenseth said. “God bless his sole, we extinguished it before any damage was done.”

  • Surprising and Not Surprising: Martinsville STP Gas Booster 500

    Surprising and Not Surprising: Martinsville STP Gas Booster 500

    Refreshed from an off-weekend and ready to go short track racing, here is what was surprising and not surprising when the Cup drivers returned to racing in the STP Gas Booster 500 at Martinsville Speedway.

    Surprising:  With all the talk of paybacks from feuding drivers, it was surprising just how uneventful the last restart and final laps of the race were, especially since the trio competing at the end included Jimmie Johnson, Jeff Gordon and Clint Bowyer, all of whom have history together.

    In fact, at last year’s Martinsville race, the three drivers tangled in the final laps, with Bowyer on new tires and the Hendrick teammates on old tires, sending them all spinning and handing the race win to Ryan Newman.

    Gordon and Bowyer also have history and unsettled scores from last season that even carried over through the end-of-year banquet in Las Vegas. Yet, in spite of a few nudges here and there, they raced each other cleanly and respectfully, which was more than surprising given the rhetoric and hostility between the two.

    “Well, we just didn’t need those cautions there at the end,” Gordon, who finished third in the No. 24 Drive to End Hunger Chevrolet, said. “We just needed more laps there at the end.”

    “Well, last year I had the upper hand with tires and it just didn’t work out,” Bowyer, driver of the No. 15 RK Motors Toyota and race runner up, said. “It’s just disappointing.”

    “Just wish I’d had that clock.”

    Not Surprising:  With Jimmie Johnson’s stats at Martinsville, including multiple wins and the best driver rating of 122.3, it was not surprising at all to see him in Victory Lane, collecting his eighth grandfather’s clock.

    And while Johnson winning at Martinsville was not surprising in the least, the depth of bittersweet emotion in victory lane was also not surprising, given the history of loss for team owner Rick Hendrick and his family at that rack.

    With caps turned backwards in memory of Ricky Hendrick and the other members of the HMS team lost in the plane crash at Martinsville nine years ago, Rick Hendrick shared that the track holds so many mixed emotions for him, including the joy of winning and the agony of loss.

    Yet in spite of the bittersweet memories, Hendrick was also incredibly proud of the accomplishment of winning 20 races at that track, the most of any organization in the sport.

    “I was looking at that scoreboard over there, the first time I ever came to a Cup race was here with my dad,” Hendrick said. “We’ve been fortunate to have some great drivers and this track has been awful good to us.

    Surprising:  While it was surprising enough that Danica Patrick, behind the wheel of the No. 10 GoDaddy.com Chevrolet, finished 12th, it was even more surprising that she beat out her Stewart Haas Racing teammates Tony Stewart and Ryan Newman, who finished 17th and 31st respectively.

    This was Patrick’s first time at Martinsville Speedway in a Cup car and, in spite of an early spin, she rallied back to the checkered flag as the highest finishing rookie in the race.

    “Yeah, well never being at Martinsville, I didn’t know what to expect,” Patrick said. “I felt like I made a lot of passes.”

    “I’m most proud about coming back from two laps down and being on the lead lap,” Patrick continued. “Then grabbing a 12th place finish in the end was good.”

    Not Surprising:  One of the biggest complaints after Martinsville was, not surprisingly, the lack of a second groove in the track and how much track position was lost because of it.

    Although finishing top-ten, Marcos Ambrose, driver of the No. 9 Stanley Ford, had quite a bit to say about the battle for the preferred inside line.

    “You had to fight like a dog to try to get to the inside,” Ambrose said. “If you got hung out there, there’s just nothing you could do – you’re just along for the ride.”

    Surprising:  With all the attention on and rhetoric about Joey Logano, it was a bit surprising that he was pretty much a non-factor at Martinsville.

    In fact, going into the short track race weekend, Logano said that he would not seek conflict but he also vowed not to lay down for anyone.

    “There’s a fine line of how you’re going to earn that respect,” Logano said. “I’m not a guy that’s going to look for trouble, but I’m also the guy that’s not going to get walked on.”

    Logano experience neither being in trouble or getting walked on at Martinsville, finishing 23rd in his No. 22 Shell Pennzoil Ford. And with that non-stellar finish, he fell two spots in the point standings to 11th.

    Not Surprising:   Any racer out of the car would find it difficult being at the track. So, it was not surprising just how tough Denny Hamlin took sitting out and watching another driver behind the wheel of his race machine.

    “The start of the race was nothing like I thought it was,” Hamlin said. “The start of the race absolutely killed me.”

    “That was very, very tough to watch,” Hamlin continued. “I didn’t’ realize the physical toll that coming out here was going to take on me.”

    Surprising:  With Roush Fenway Racing traditionally struggling at Martinsville, it was surprising to see one of their drivers finish top ten. Greg Biffle, behind the wheel of the No. 16 3M Ford, brought his car to the checkered flag in the ninth position.

    “It was a hard fought day,” Biffle said. “Our car was way too tight and I had to keep working on it.”

    “There was no outside groove whatsoever and everyone really wanted the bottom,” Biffle continued. “But we still finished in the top-10 so I’m pretty happy about that.”

    Not Surprising:  There were several bounce back finishes amongst drivers who struggled and then came back strong at the finish of the race. One of the most notable was Brad Keselowski, who overcame a questionable pit road penalty to finish sixth in his Blue Deuce.

    “That was a hard-fought finish,” Keselowski said. “We wanted to be able to win here and just haven’t been strong enough to do it.”

    “But I’m proud of where we are right here today.”

    Another amazing performance was given by Iron Man Mark Martin, who was involved in a multi-car crash on lap 180 and then rallied to finish tenth. To boot, this stellar finish was in an unfamiliar car in which he was subbing for the injured Denny Hamlin.

    Yet not surprisingly, Martin once again downplayed his accomplishment.

    “It wasn’t that great of a result; we were capable of a little bit better,” Martin said in his usual humble style. “I did not fill Denny Hamlin’s shoes, I can tell you that much.”

    “He is the master.”

    Surprising:  Another pleasant surprise for Earnhardt Ganassi Racing was the good finish for once of one of its drivers. Jamie McMurray, behind the wheel of the No. 1 Novo Nordisk Chevrolet for EGR, finished seventh.

    “We had a really good car,” McMurray said. “Made a good pit call at the end and got a couple of extra spots.”

    “That was a really good day for us.”

    Not Surprising:  Although working with a relatively new team in Furniture Row Racing, it was not surprising that veteran driver Kurt Busch had the presence of mind to not only angle the car before hitting the wall after his brakes failed, but also had the wherewithal to utilize his fire suppression system when his car went up in flames.

    “Something let go in the brakes,” Busch said. “I had to turn the car to the right otherwise I was going to hit harder than what we did.”

    “It was a bummer day.”

    Unfortunately, that bummer day resulted in Busch falling from 13th to 19th in the driver point standings. The driver of the No. 78 Furniture Row/Serta Chevrolet, along with all of his Cup competitors, will have a chance at redemption as the elite series heads into Texas Motor Speedway.

  • NASCAR Top-10 Power Rankings: Martinsville

    NASCAR Top-10 Power Rankings: Martinsville

    Note: The quotes in this article are fictional.

    1. Jimmie Johnson: Johnson won from the pole at Martinsville, leading 347 of 500 laps to win the STP Gas Booster 500, his eighth win at the Virginia half-mile track. Johnson claimed the points lead, and now leads Brad Keselowski by six.

    “Eight wins at Martinsville is amazing,” Johnson said. “So is the number of grandfather clocks I’ve amassed. Those clocks really come in handy at Martinsville, mostly to measure my margin of victory.”

    2. Brad Keselowski: Keselowski finished sixth at Martinsville, posting his fourth top-10 result of the year. He is second in the point standings, six behind Jimmie Johnson.

    “I support the actions of my Penske teammate Joey Logano,” Keselowski said. “Despite his age, diminutive frame, and general goofiness, he is one tough customer, and not afraid to assert himself. With the NRA 500 coming up, I think it’s a good time to say that Joey is a lot like NASCAR—he’s not gun-shy.”

    3. Dale Earnhardt, Jr.: Earnhardt’s day ended on a sour note as a late spin left him two laps down and in 24th place in the STP Gas Booster 500. He tumbled from the top of the Sprint Cup point standings, and is now third, 12 behind Jimmie Johnson.

    “It was a good, albeit short, week on top,” Earnhardt said. “For all the problems my car experienced Sunday at Martinsville, gear box trouble was not one of them, because I was definitely not stuck in ‘first.’”

    4. Kasey Kahne: Kahne finished fourth at Martinsville as Hendrick Motorsports claimed three of the top 4 spots in the STP Gas Booster 500. He is fifth in the point standings, 32 out of first.

    “I won at Texas in 2006,” Kahne said, “and I proudly hoisted the ceremonial six-shooters in Victory Lane. On Sunday, I don’t plan on letting anyone infringe on my right to again bear arms.”

    5. Clint Bowyer: Bowyer recovered from early damage to take the runner-up spot at Martinsville, holding off Jeff Gordon on a late restart. Bowyer is now eighth in the point standings, 52 out of first.

    “It was quite a turnabout from last year at Phoenix,” Bowyer said “This time, Gordon was chasing me. And, just like last year, nothing would have happened had he caught me.

    “As you may have heard, I landed sponsorship from Gander Mountain for next week’s NRA 500 at Texas. So our team we’ll be well-heeled, while the race itself will be well-armed.”

    6. Kyle Busch: Busch led 56 laps and finished fifth at Martinsville, posting his fourth top 5 of the season. He is fourth in the point standings, 28 out of first.

    “That’s four consecutive top 5’s,” Busch said. “So, when you say ‘Busch is on fire,’ you’ll have to be more specific. It’s certainly not the first time Kurt’s been fired. But let’s hand it to Kurt—he’s usually starting fires; this time, he put one out.”

    7. Greg Biffle: Biffle was the top finisher for Roush Fenway Racing, registering a ninth in the STP Gas Booster 500. He is now fifth in the point standings, 32 out of first.

    “Luckily,” Biffle said, “there was no controversy involving Joey Logano at Martinsville. He may be the most-watched driver right now. All eyes, particularly Denny Hamlin’s evil one, were on Logano.

    8. Carl Edwards: Edwards finished a disappointing 15th at Martinsville after electing to pit for fresh tires on a late pit stop. He dropped three places in the point standings to seventh, and now trails Jimmie Johnson by 38.

    “It would be a dream come true to win the NRA 500 next week in Texas,” Edwards said. “Then, I could perform my signature back flip and land in open ‘arms.’”

    9. Jeff Gordon: Gordon joined Hendrick teammates Jimmie Johnson and Kasey Kahne in the top 5 with a third at Martinsville. Gordon chased Clint Bowyer after the final restart with eight laps to go, but could never overtake him.

    “I tried my hardest to put Bowyer ‘behind’ me,” Gordon said. “But try as I might, someone always ends up asking me about the incident in Phoenix.”

    10. Mark Martin: Martin, driving for the injured Denny Hamlin, took the No. 11 FedEx Toyota to a 10th-place finish at Martinsville, joining Joe Gibbs Racing teammate Kyle Busch, who finished fifth, in the top 10.

    “I was two laps down at one point, ” Martin said. “In the No. 11 car, that’s called ‘back’ trouble.”

  • NASCAR Top-10 Power Rankings: California

    NASCAR Top-10 Power Rankings: California

    Note: The quotes in this article are fictional.

    1. Dale Earnhardt, Jr.: Earnhardt posted his third top-5 result of the year with the runner-up in the Auto Club 400 and took over the top spot in the Sprint Cup point standings. He leads Brad Keselowski by 12.

    “I’m keeping this in perspective,” Earnhardt said. “We’re only making one t-shirt design commemorating this moment. Sales will be brisk, and much like me atop the rankings, they should be gone in a week.”

    2. Kyle Busch: Busch avoided the Denny Hamlin-Joey Logano disaster in front of him on the last lap and drove to the win in the Auto Club 400. Busch is now sixth in the point standings, 36 out of first.

    “For those that don’t think I know how to avoid controversy,” Busch said, “take that. I went right around it. Thanks are in order to my former teammate Logano. In this case, he gave me a going-away present.”

    3. Jimmie Johnson: Johnson finished 12th at California as the Joey Logano-Denny Hamlin wreck unfolded in front of him on the final lap. Johnson remained third in the point standings, and trails Hendrick teammate Dale Earnhardt, Jr. by 16.

    “Obviously,” Johnson said, “Logano and Hamlin have some history. And Tony Stewart and Logano have some ‘language.’ And I’m sure all three will be summoned to the NASCAR hauler for social studies.”

    4. Brad Keselowski: Keselowski struggled late at Fontana 1.5-mile oval, finishing a disappointing 23rd in the Auto Club 400. He dropped out of the lead in the point standings and is now second, 12 behind Dale Earnhardt, Jr.

    “Joey Logano is quickly becoming the most-hated driver in NASCAR,” Keselowski said. “It seems that everybody wants a piece of ‘Sliced Bread.’ I have millions of followers on Twitter. Logano has only one follower—-controversy.”

    5. Carl Edwards: Edwards finished fourth in the Auto Club 400, earning his third top-5 finish of the year. He improved three places in the point standings to fourth, 35 out of first.

    “I hear Kyle Busch is scheduled to appear on Anger Management with Charlie Sheen,” Edwards said. “I’ll tell you who needs anger management—-Tim Richmond, because he’s not alive today to hang out with Sheen. Let’s hope Sheen doesn’t pressure Busch into snorting cocaine off the hood of the No. 18 Toyota. That would be called an ‘engine blow.’”

    6. Greg Biffle: Biffle’s No. 16 Fusion was one of three Fords in the top 10 at California, recording a sixth in the Auto Club 400. He is now fourth in the point standings, 35 out of first.

    “I think Tony Stewart was wrong to go after Joey Logano,” Biffle said. “How dare he attack someone nearly 1/2 his age, and nearly 1/3 his weight.”

    7. Paul Menard: Menard led the Richard Childress Racing charge at California, finishing eighth as teammates Kevin Harvick and Jeff Burton finished outside the top 10.

    “Ho hum,” Menard said. “Another NASCAR ‘fight’ in which no meaningful punches were landed. Punches in NASCAR fights are like spoilers—they catch air.”

    8. Joey Logano: Logano led 41 laps at California, but not the last one, as he and former teammate Denny Hamlin scrapped in Turn 4, sending Hamlin hard into the inside wall while Kyle Busch slipped by for the win. Logano survived to finish third, his first top-5 of the year.

    “Don’t forget,” Logano said, “I also tangled with Tony Stewart after the race. He claimed I blocked him on the restart. And I guess if Tony Stewart says you blocked, then you blocked. I may only be only 22, but Stewart seems to be the immature one. That’s why I tossed a water bottle at him—I was giving him a ‘baby’ shower.”

    9. Denny Hamlin: Hamlin finished 25th in the Auto Club 400 after his last-lap tangle with Joey Logano that send Hamlin’s No. 11 Toyota hard into the infield wall. He suffered a compression fracture of his L1 vertebrae.

    “Mark my words,” Hamlin said, “I’ll be ‘back.’ And once I return, Logano should ‘brace’ for retaliation.”

    10. Kurt Busch: With brother Kyle scoring a dramatic win, Kurt took fifth in the Auto Club 400, his second top-5 result of the season.

    “I can relate to what Joey Logano must be feeling,” Busch said. “I know exactly what it’s like to be attacked by Tony Stewart. My advice is to turn the other cheek. Why? Because you have two of them, just like that ‘ass.’”

  • Surprising and Not Surprising: Bristol Food City 500

    Surprising and Not Surprising: Bristol Food City 500

    From the intro songs to the beating and the banging that comes with short-track racing, here is what was surprising and not surprising from the 53rd annual Food City 500 at Bristol Motor Speedway.

    Surprising:  Hendrick Motorsports’ Kasey Kahne is a Bristol victory virgin no more. The driver of the No. 5 Great Clips Chevrolet scored his first ever win in nineteen races at Thunder Valley and his first win of the young 2013 season.

    “This is a big win,” Kahne said. “The whole team was flawless.”

    “I feel like for myself it’s a big accomplishment to win here,” Kahne continued. “We’ve prepared pretty hard this year and it feels good to win.”

    Not Surprising:  Both Busch brothers earned their stripes as ‘come back kids’, overcoming adversity to finish in the top five.

    Kyle Busch, behind the wheel of the No. 18 M&Ms Toyota, overcame a speeding penalty to finish second and Kurt Busch, driver of the No. 78 Furniture Row/Beautyrest Chevrolet, contended with a loose wheel, as well as some damage to his race car, to battle back to a fourth place finish.

    This was Kyle Busch’s second top-10 finish in 2013 and Kurt Busch’s best finish of the 2013 season, as well as his best finish so far with Furniture Row Racing.

    “I need to stop getting penalties and stay up front all race,” Kyle Busch said. “I wish there was more to have there. But it’s a good day I guess.”

    “Considering how much we had to battle back from adversity today, the finish was even more gratifying” Kurt Busch said. “We battled hard and the poor No. 78 car – she’s used up.”

    Kyle Busch is now in the top ten in points and Kurt Busch vaulted from 29th to 16th in the point standings.

    Surprising:  While Jeff Gordon and Matt Kenseth have had issues between one another in the past, they had a surprisingly tough encounter on the track at Bristol. With Gordon in the lead and Kenseth right behind, Gordon blew a tire, hit the wall and Kenseth plowed into him from behind after his throttle apparently stuck.

    “As soon as I got into the banking, I felt the tire go,” the driver of the No. 24 Drive to End Hunger Chevrolet said. “I really hate that for Kenseth.”

    “There was not a lot either of us could do,” the driver of the No. 20 Home Depot/Husky Toyota said. “It will take a lot of Husky tools to fix that thing.”

    “We had a great car but we didn’t make it to the end.”

    Not Surprising:  Yes, it was Bristol and there were some temper flare ups, especially between Denny Hamlin and Joey Logano, who do have a history with one another.

    Hamlin, who had had an eventful week deciding not to appeal his $25,000 fine from NASCAR, got a bit peeved with Joey Logano and ended up turning his former teammate and sending him spinning.

    The driver of the No. 11 FedEx Freight Toyota, finished 23rd and Logano, driving the No. 22 Shell Pennzoil Ford, finished 17th.

    “Really, you’ve got to control your car and he slid up in front of me,” Hamlin said. “I meant to run into him but didn’t mean to spin him out.”

    “We finished bad. He finished bad,” Hamlin continued. “It’s even.”

    “That’s a freaking genius behind the wheel of the 11 car – probably the worst teammate I ever had, so I learned that now,” Logano said. “He decided to run in the back of me, so whatever.”

    “I have a scorecard and I’m not putting up with that,” Logano continued. “What goes around comes around.”

    And yes, the disagreement spilled over into Twitter-world, first with Logano tweeting, “Hey @dennyhamlin great job protecting that genius brain of yours by keeping your helmet on” and Hamlin responding, “Last time I checked he had my cell and direct message button to choose from if he’s got a problem. Otherwise hush little child.”

    Surprising:  It was a surprisingly difficult day for the drivers of the cereal cars, with Jeff Burton, driver of the No. 31 Cheerios Chevrolet, and Carl Edwards, driver of the No. 99 Kellogg’s/Frosted Flake Ford Fusion, involved in an early wreck.

    Burton finished 32nd while Edwards soldiered on, in spite of being ill most of the race and reportedly throwing up in his car, to finish 18th.

    “I have to thank the infield medical folks and folks with NASCAR medical,” Edwards said. “They really helped me out a lot today.”

    “That’s the most miserable race I’ve ever been through, but there was a little bit of satisfaction to come back and finish 18th.”

    Not Surprising:   Brad Keselowski, who finished third in the No. 2 Miller Lite Ford Fusion and now leads in the point standings, was not satisfied in the least.

    “We weren’t close at the start but at the end, the car was pretty good,” Keselowski said. “The 2 team did a great job adjusting on the car during the race. “

    “We’ve been so damn close and just haven’t sealed the deal.”

    Surprising:  In spite of bringing out the first caution with a flat tire, spin and a wreck, Tony Stewart still managed to keep his sense of humor throughout the rest of the race.

    On lap 254 with only half of the race completed, Stewart radioed in to his ailing crew chief Steve Addington to say, “The good news is that it’s halfway over.”

    Addington, who was battling the flu, replied simply, “Don’t make me laugh too hard right now.”

    Not Surprising:  While he may not have been stellar, he has been consistent so far in the 2013 season. Fan favorite Dale Earnhardt Jr. finished sixth and is just nine points behind Keselowski, sitting second in the point standings.

    The driver of the No. 88 National Guard Chevrolet solely credits the consistent performance to crew chief Steve Letarte, who Earnhardt Jr. referred to after the race as ‘magic man.’

    “I have to give all the credit to Steve Letarte,” Junior said. “He made a couple, two, three great pit calls there at the end and gave us the opportunity to get some guys on old tires and beat a few guys that we probably weren’t going to beat.”

    “Great call by him.”

    Surprising:  There were some surprising names in the top ten when the checkered flag waved at Bristol, including Brian Vickers, Paul Menard and Jamie McMurray.

    “Honestly after today, it felt like a win,” Vickers, driver of the No. 55 RK Motors Toyota, said. “We had some damage but got that fixed and we got back to the top 10.”

    Not Surprising:  In spite of a stellar Daytona, Danica Patrick has continued to struggle at the tracks following the season kick off. The driver of the No. 10 GoDaddy.com Chevrolet, finished 28th at Bristol, several laps down.

    “We just never really got it completely freed up like we needed to,” Patrick said. “It was better later in the race, but by then the damage was done.”

    Patrick is looking forward to the next race at Fontana, in spite of never having driven a Cup car at that track before.

    “There are a lot of things that I have to work on at this point in time,” Patrick said. “The most important thing is to find a decent balance to start off the race so that we don’t drop back.”

     

     

  • NASCAR Top-10 Power Rankings: Bristol

    NASCAR Top-10 Power Rankings: Bristol

    Note: The quotes in this article are fictional.

    1. Brad Keselowski: Keselowski finished third at Bristol and snatched the points lead from Jimmie Johnson, who finished 22nd, two laps down. Keselowski now leads Dale Earnhardt, Jr. by nine.

    “I finished the race sandwiched between the two Busch brothers,” Keselowski said, “which is like being between a rock and a hard head. Many have often said that a ‘championship’ might someday come between the Busch brothers. Thanks to me, it just did.”

    2. Kasey Kahne: Kahne wrested the lead from Brad Keselowski on a lap 460 restart and pulled away for the win in the Food City 500, Kahne’s first win at Bristol.

    “The No. 5 Great Clips Chevrolet was amazing,” Kahne said, “and just a hair better than everyone else. In honor of the track they call the ‘Bull Ring’ and in honor of my current favorite sponsor, I plan to get a ‘bull cut.’”

    3. Dale Earnhardt, Jr.: Earnhardt posted his fourth top-10 finish of the year with a sixth at Bristol. He moved up one spot to second in the Sprint Cup point standings and now trails Brad Keselowski by nine.

    “They call this a ‘promising’ start,” Earnhardt said, “mostly because I can’t ‘promise’ it will continue.”

    4. Jimmie Johnson: Johnson hammered the wall with 46 laps to go at Bristol and limped home to a 22nd in the Food City 500. He tumbled from the top of the Sprint Cup point standings and is now in third, 15 behind Brad Keselowski.

    “Like Joey Logano,” Johnson said, “I hit the wall on Sunday. Unlike Logano, I didn’t go talk to one after the race. This Logano-Denny Hamlin feud could potentially come to a head, but I doubt it. Their threats were much like Bristol’s seats on Sunday—empty.”

    5. Denny Hamlin: Hamlin was headed for a likely top-5 finish at Bristol, but cut a tire with eight laps to go and scraped the wall continuously as he struggled to a 23rd-place finish. Afterwards, Hamlin was accosted by former teammate Joey Logano, who was spun into the wall by Hamlin earlier.

    “Look at this,” Hamlin said. “Just four races in, and Logano’s dying to get back in a Toyota.

    “I’m not in the least bit afraid of Logano. They call him ‘Sliced Bread,’ but there’s certainly no yeast in that bread, because Logano’s never ‘risen’ to anything, much less a challenge.”

    6. Clint Bowyer: Bowyer finished fifth in the Food City 500, posting his first top-5 of the year. He improved five spots in the point standings to fourth, and now trails Brad Keselowski by 38.

    “’It’s Bristol! They’re fighting!’ I famously quoted after the race,” Bowyer said. “That makes me the ‘ring announcer.’”

    7. Kyle Busch: Busch registered his second straight top-5 finish with a runner-up at Bristol. He jumped seven spots in the point standings to 10th, and is now 51 out of first.

    “No one enjoyed my spirited battle with Brad Keselowski more than me,” Busch said. “Brad famously called me an ‘ass’ once at Bristol; in case he’d forgotten, I gave him a good look at it on Sunday.”

    8. Matt Kenseth: Kenseth was running second when leader Jeff Gordon blew a tire and collected Kenseth’s No. 20 Chevrolet, eliminating them both from the race. Kenseth finished 35th and is now 63 out of the lead in the points standings.

    “Take it from Clint Bowyer,” Kenseth said. “’Following’ Jeff Gordon can only lead to bad things for both teams in the garage.”

    9. Carl Edwards: Edwards struggled in the Food City 500, finishing one lap down in 18th. He is now seventh in the point standings, 42 out of first.

    “I was ill for most of the race,” Edwards said. “I said ‘Aflac’ several times during the race, but it had nothing to do with supplemental insurance. At least for a day, the Aflac mascot was no longer a duck, but a ‘yak.’”

    10. Greg Biffle: Biffle finished 11th at Bristol, posting Roush Fenway’s top finish. He is now fifth in the point standings, 40 out of first.

    “There are power couples,” Biffle said, “like Danica Patrick and Ricky Stenhouse, Jr. And there are power couples, like Tiger Woods and Lindsey Vonn. I find it refreshing that Woods has gone public with a relationship, this time on purpose.”

  • Surprising and Not Surprising: Vegas Kobalt Tools 400

    Surprising and Not Surprising: Vegas Kobalt Tools 400

    With rain in the desert setting the field and the Denny Hamlin fine all the talk, here is what else was surprising and not so surprising from the Kobalt Tools 400 at Las Vegas Motor Speedway.

    Surprising:  The transformation surprisingly continued for Matt Kenseth, who moved from lame duck last year at Roush Fenway Racing to winner this year in just the third race of the season for Joe Gibbs Racing.

    “Thank you Lord for putting me here,” Kenseth said simply as he took the checkered flag.

    This was the driver of the No. 20 Dollar General Toyota’s 25th career victory and the 101st victory for his new owner Joe Gibbs. And it was Kenseth’s 41st birthday to boot.

    Not Surprising:  It was a strong day for the Hendrick bunch, with one notable exception, Jeff Gordon, who brought up the rear with a disappointing 25th finish in his No. 24 Drive to End Hunger Chevrolet.

    Kasey Kahne, who had a strong No. 5 Farmer’s Insurance Chevrolet, gave Kenseth a run for his money but could not close the deal, finishing second.

    “I had the car to beat today,” Kahne said. “We lost, but it was still a great run for all of our guys.”


    Jimmie Johnson, behind the wheel of the No. 48 Lowes/Kobalt Tools Chevrolet, finished sixth and Dale Earnhardt, Jr., driver of the No. 88 AMP Energy Orange Chevrolet, finished 7th.

    “I lost a couple of spots in that last restart, but it was fun to race that fast,” Johnson said. “We were flying.”

    “We had a real good race,” Junior said. “I enjoyed the race track and the raceability of the track was a lot of fun. I had a blast really.”

    Not surprisingly, Hendrick Motorsports is also strong in the point standings, with Johnson in the lead, Junior in third, Gordon dropping five spots to 13th and Kahne moving up 17 spots to 14th after the Vegas race.

    Surprising:  While every other driver complained of being loose, Rookie of the Year contender Ricky Stenhouse, Jr. surprisingly complained about being tight.

    “I kept telling them to free it up and we would get tighter and tighter,” the driver of the No. 17 Zest Ford said. “That is why we gave up all our track position.”

    “Every pit stop we made we got tighter and tighter,” Stenhouse, Jr. continued. “I couldn’t go on a restart.”

    Stenhouse Jr. finished 18th and is still in the lead in what he refers to as the ‘Ricky of the Year’ standings. He also led his first ever Cup lap after staying out while others headed to pit road.

    Not Surprising:  Stenhouse Jr.’s other half, Danica Patrick had ‘one of those days’ at the track. Not only did she struggle and finish 33rd in her GoDaddy.com Chevrolet but her team also had a tire outside the box violation on Lap 123, necessitating a pass through penalty.

    “That’s alright, guys,” Patrick said. “If we’re going to have these days, might as well have them all together.”

    “It was a real tough day, no doubt.”

    Surprising:  While both Earnhardt Ganassi Racing cars had to start from the rear of the field due to engine changes, both rebounded surprisingly well.

    Jamie McMurray, behind the wheel of the No. 1 McDonalds Chevrolet, finished 13th and EGR teammate Juan Pablo Montoya in the No. 42 AXE Apollo Chevrolet finished 19th.

    Not Surprising:   While Denny Hamlin paid the price for sharing his concerns publicly about the new Gen 6 car, many other drivers admitted to still trying to figure out their own race cars.

    Top among that group, however, was Kyle Busch, who overcame a Lap 48 pit road speeding penalty to finish fourth in his No. 18 M&M’s Toyota.

    “Man it was really unique,” Busch said. “When I was out front, I was fast as heck.”

    “But behind others, then I was wrecking loose,” Busch continued. “All in all it was fun and today was the first part of figuring out the nuances of this race car.”

    Surprising:  In his 150th career start, Joey Logano, behind the wheel of the No. 22 Shell Pennzoil Ford Fusion, made an uncharacteristic mistake. Just like his former Joe Gibbs Racing teammate Kyle Busch, Logano sped down pit road on his first pit stop.

    Logano rebounded, just like Busch, to finish in the 12th spot.

    “I screwed up,” Logano said. “I went down a lap but never caught our break to go.”

    “I felt like we had a top-five car but I made a dumb mistake.”

    Not Surprising:  Although not running a full-time season, NASCAR’s Iron Man Mark Martin continued to show his mettle, finishing 14th in his No. 55 Aaron’s Dream Machine and moving one spot up to sixth place in the point standings.

    “It was fun,” Martin said. “I didn’t get a good restart on the last one but other than that, it was a good solid day by this team and car.”

    Surprising:  There is a bit of surprising name up there in the top ten in points and he just so happens to drive for the King. Aric Almirola, driver of the Richard Petty Motorsports No. 43 Farmland Ford Fusion, may have finished 16th at Vegas but he remains right there in the tenth spot in the point standings.

    “We probably had an 8th – 12th place car so I’m disappointed we finished 16th,” Almirola said. “We didn’t have any major mistakes and I think points-wise we are still decent.”

    Almirola tweeted this after the race, “Headed to one of my favorite tracks next week in top 10 in points. Proud of my team!”

    Not Surprising:  Finally, the determination and grit of the reigning champ Brad Keselowski came through yet again. Keselowski posted his first top-ten finish at Las Vegas and brought the Blue Deuce home in the third spot.

    “Never give up,” Keselowski said. “Never give up. This team doesn’t and we didn’t today.”

    The champ is taking that attitude right into Bristol next weekend. And he admitted he has no idea how the new Gen 6 car will react on the first short track of the season.

    “That’s why you’ve got to watch,” Keselowski said simply.

  • NASCAR Top-10 Power Rankings: Las Vegas

    NASCAR Top-10 Power Rankings: Las Vegas

    Note: The quotes in this article are fictional.

    1. Jimmie Johnson: Johnson finished sixth at Las Vegas and maintained his lead in the Sprint Cup point standings. Johnson leads Brad Keselowski by five points.

    “It’s always good to leave Las Vegas on top,” Johnson said. “The season is shaping up to be a two-man battle for the Sprint Cup championship. Who’s going to win it, me or Keselowski? I don’t have a clue, but if I was a detective, I’d have a ‘lead.’”

    2. Brad Keselowski: Keselowski started on the pole in the Kobalt Tools 400 and finished third, his third top-5 result of the year. Keselowski now trails Jimmie Johnson by five in the point standings.

    “It was quite an awkward moment when the Miller Lite Ford was awarded the Coors Light Pole Award,” Keselowski said. “Luckily, my ‘wide mouth’ didn’t ‘vent,’ thereby avoiding a ‘vortex’ of controversy.”

    3. Matt Kenseth: On his 41st birthday, Kenseth held off Kasey Kahne to win the Kobalt Tools 400, his 25th career Sprint Cup win.

    “How about that race trophy I was awarded?” Kenseth said. “Toyota engine issues aside, Joe Gibbs, for once, is happy to have a wrench thrown into his operation.

    “I became just the third driver to win on his birthday. Carl Edwards threatened to give me a ‘spanking,’ but I politely declined.”

    4. Dale Earnhardt, Jr.: Earnhardt posted his third top-10 finish of the year with a seventh at Las Vegas. He now trails Jimmie Johnson by 10 in the point standings.

    “I’m off to the best three-race start of my career,” Earnhardt said. “And I’m still in third.

    “I hear they’ve chosen a grand marshal for the April race in Texas. His name is ‘N.R. Ray,’ and I understand he’ll be packing a starter’s pistol.”

    5. Denny Hamlin: An eventful week for Hamlin culminated with a 15th at Las Vegas, as Joe Gibbs teammate Matt Kenseth won the Kobalt Tools 400. Earlier in the week, Hamlin was fined $25,000 for making critical comments about the new Gen-6 car.

    “There’s five digits in $25,000,” Hamlin said. “Unfortunately for NASCAR, they’ll only see one of them.”

    6. Carl Edwards: Edwards backed up his win at Phoenix with a solid fifth at Las Vegas, earning his second top 5 of the year. He moved up six spots to fifth in the point standings, 31 out of first.

    “I hear Danica Patrick was hit in the head by a rock,” Edwards said. “If it’s anything like her driving, I’m sure it left a dent.”

    7. Kasey Kahne: Kahne No. 5 Chevy was clearly the class of the Kobalt Tools 400, but lost the race off pit road to Matt Kenseth on the final caution. Kahne tracked down Matt Kenseth but was unable to make the winning pass and settled for second.

    “I’m amazed that Kenseth could hold me off on old tires,” Kahne said. “And speaking of ‘old’ and ‘tired,’ how about the racing at Las Vegas. Maybe Denny Hamlin was on to something. His children may not be, but his points sure are legitimate.”

    8. Mark Martin: Martin finished 14th in the Kobalt Tools, as Michael Waltrip Racing teammate Martin Truex, Jr. finished eighth. Martin is sixth in the point standings, 34 out of first.

    “Much like my homeboy 50 Cent to find black people at Daytona,” Martin said, “I’m on a fruitless quest of my own—-to win a Sprint Cup championship.

    9. Greg Biffle: Biffle finished 17th in the Kobalt Tools 400 as former Roush Fenway teammate Matt Kenseth took the win. Biffle is tied for seventh in the point standings, 36 out of first.

    “Congratulations to Matt,” Biffle said. “I knew he’d do well in the Dollar General Toyota. When you combine Matt’s boring personality in a car with ‘Dollar’ on the side, you get a character named ‘So-So Money.’

    10. Kyle Busch: Busch overcame an early pit road speeding penalty to claim fourth in the Kobalt Tools 400.

    “Pit road speeding is exactly what you’d expect from Joe Gibbs Racing,” Busch said. “Usually, it happens when we’re in a hurry to make an engine change.”

  • Matty’s Picks 2013 – Vol. 3 Las Vegas Motor Speedway – Kobalt Tools 400 – March 10, 2013

    Matty’s Picks 2013 – Vol. 3 Las Vegas Motor Speedway – Kobalt Tools 400 – March 10, 2013

    We stay on the left coast again for the second straight week in the NASCAR Sprint Cup Series as the series makes first and only visit of the season to the 1.5-mile tri-oval in the desert. An aging race surface, a green racetrack, and the first real look at how the new Gen6 car will perform on a more traditional 1.5-mile track, we head into another weekend with many unknowns surrounding the outcome of the 267 lap stanza on Sunday.

    With a rare rain-out of both practice and qualifying yesterday, teams are scrambling to parlay the Intel they gained from Thursday’s 6-hour test session and apply it to their setups for Sunday Afternoon’s 16th Annual Kobalt Tools 400.

    Per the NASCAR Rule Book, the field for Sunday has been set according to last season’s Owner Points, meaning The Champ, Brad Kesolowski will share the front row with last year’s bridesmaid, Clint Bowyer. As we saw last week in Phoenix, with the increased amount of downforce the Gen6 car is producing, tire wear is becoming the top story in this young season, and with a green racetrack in the desert again this week, handling and saving your equipment might be the key in driving to Victory Lane on Sunday.

    Phoenix Recap

    Well, I published my column last week before Denny Hamlin was forced to change engines and start from the rear of the field in last Sunday’s Subway Fresh Fit 500. I really hoped for the best in not updating my column on Sunday morning, and it truly paid off as the guy I looked at to win last Sunday, was also sent to the rear of the field, and he did not fare as well as Hamlin did in working his way up through the field.

    With Hamlin coming off the back last week, the combination of excellent pit strategy and quick pit stops were the key for the No. 11 FedEx Office team in their first top-five of the 2013 season. A three-wide pass on the white flag lap in the dogleg section of PIR vaulted the No. 11 team to a third place finish after battling a loose racecar for the majority of the day.

    Hamlin spoke after his podium finish and was fined $25,000 by NASCAR for his comments about the new Gen6 racecar, and NASCAR has not released exactly what sparked the $25,000 slap, but the only negative comments Hamlin made appear to be comparing the Gen6 car to the Generation Five cars:

    ” We learned a lot. I don’t want to be the pessimist, but it did not race as good as our generation five cars. This is more like what the generation five was at the beginning. The teams hadn’t figured out how to get the aero balance right. Right now, you just run single-file and you cannot get around the guy in front of you. You would have placed me in 20th-place with 30 (laps) to go, I would have stayed there — I wouldn’t have moved up. It’s just one of those things where track position is everything.”

    My dark horse pick fared quite a bit worse at the flat-track in the desert last week, despite winning each of the three practice sessions and after starting the race from the pole position. Michael Waltrip Racing’s Mark Martin was the car to beat going based off practice speeds and after taking the Coors Light Pole Award, but after an extra pit stop on lap 63 for a vibration on the right side of the No. 55 AAron’s Dream Machine Toyota, Martin had to first gain back the lap he lost on the stop, as well as pass 20+ cars on the lead lap to end up in Victory Lane. Luckily, the caution would fly just a few laps later, and Martin would climb his way back to the lead lap, but would fall short in the end following the wild conclusion of the Subway Fresh Fit 500. A 21st place finish is what I got out of my Dark Horse last week, not the finish I’m looking for.

    Vegas Picks

    Just one time a year we visit the 1.5-miler in the desert, and it’s probably a good thing we only make one trip to Sin City, both for the sake of the difficulty in handling drivers are experiencing this week and also for the sake of The Champ’s liver….

    Winner Pick

    It’s very difficult not to look at Jimmie Johnson this week, as his impressiveness in the first few races each season is what kick-starts the No. 48 Lowe’s/Kobalt Tools Chevrolet team. Johnson tops the list of active driver performances at Las Vegas Motor Speedway with four wins, five top fives, and six top tens in just eleven races at the 1.5-mile tri-oval. Historically speaking, Johnson has been a contender in each and every Intermediate Track race the past seven or so seasons, and the odds-makers have made Johnson the preliminary front-runner in giving him 5-1 odds at taking home the trophy tomorrow for his car sponsor, who like last week’s race winner, Carl Edwards, will also be driving for the race sponsor tomorrow afternoon. He had the second-best 10-lap average in Thursday’s test session at Las Vegas Motor Speedway, the second-best time by any Chevrolet, and the best run by any of the Hendrick Motorsports drivers. He’s starting inside the second row, so he doesn’t have far to go to get to the front.

    Dark Horse Pick

    Richard Childress Racing claimed two of the top-five spots in final NASCAR Sprint Cup Series Happy Hour this afternoon, and the fifth-fastest 10-lap average went to RCR’s Paul Menard. Las Vegas Motor Speedway happens to be Menard’s second-best track in the past 2 years, averaging a finish just inside the top-10 at 9.5. At Las Vegas’ twin track, Kansas Speedway, which hosts two NASCAR Sprint Cup Series races each year, Menard has boasted a finish inside the top 5 and the track happens to be his second-best track in his 10-year Sprint Cup Career. By definition, a long-shot is any driver with odds of winning of 20-1 or worse, and Menard currently sits at 100-1 to win the Kobalt Tools 400 on Sunday, so a Dark Horse is exactly what Paul Menard is for taking the home the trophy.

    That’s all for this week, so until we roll on to the bull ring in the hills of Tennessee, you stay classy NASCAR NATION!

  • NASCAR Top-10 Power Rankings: Daytona

    NASCAR Top-10 Power Rankings: Daytona

    Note: The quotes in this article are fictional.

    1. Jimmie Johnson: Johnson won his second Daytona 500, leading the final ten laps and holding off a late charge from Dale Earnhardt, Jr.

    “It was a historic day at Daytona,” Johnson said, “especially for women. Danica Patrick pocketed $357,464 in prize money, while Erin Andrews lost 50 Cents.

    “It’s great to win my second Daytona 500, and first for Chad Knaus. As you may recall, Chad was suspended for my first 500 in 2006, but he was with me there in spirit, and in my rear window.”

    2. Dale Earnhardt, Jr.: Earnhardt’s last-lap charge gave him his second consecutive Daytona 500 runner-up finish, and third in four years, as Hendrick teammate Jimmie Johnson took the win.

    “I was a day late and a dollar short,” Earnhardt said, “as opposed to a certain rapper, who was a half-dollar short.

    “Finishing second at Daytona, followed by a disappointing result in the Chase, has been the story of my career. It’s a case of ‘so close, yet so far away.’”

    3. Brad Keselowski: NASCAR’s defending champion overcame early damage after being collected in an early crash and battle back to finish fourth in the Daytona 500. Keselowski led 13 laps on the day, and trails Jimmie Johnson by six points.

    “As you may have heard,” Keselowski said, “I was called to speak to NASCAR brass about some comments I made critical of NASCAR. I was politely told to keep my foot on the pedal and out of my mouth.”

    4. Greg Biffle: Biffle qualified fifth and finished sixth at Daytona, the top finisher among the Roush Fenway Racing trio, as Ricky Stenhouse, Jr. finished 12th and Carl Edwards finished 33rd.

    “Stenhouse is dating the hottest driver in NASCAR,” Biffle said, “while Edwards is the coldest driver in NASCAR.”

    5. Regan Smith: Smith, in the No. 51 Phoenix Racing Chevrolet, finished a strong seventh in the Daytona 500, leading one lap.

    “50 Cent says ‘He doesn’t see black people,’” Smith said. “If memory serves me, there once was a wrapper named ‘6 Cents’ who also didn’t see black people, but did see dead people.

    “As the driver of the car once piloted by Kurt Busch, I’m proud to say that Phoenix Racing no longer sees crazy people.”

    6. Mark Martin: Martin finished third in the Daytona 500, moving up with a late charge while pushing Dale Earnhardt, Jr. to a second-place finish.

    “I’m now 0-29 at Daytona,” Martin said, “so finishing third is nothing special. It’s like ‘kissing a sister,’ and I want to do that about as much as Erin Andrews wants to kiss a ‘brother.’

    “My man 50 Cent said he didn’t see any black people at Daytona. I say, Look, Fitty, it’s Sunday at Daytona. There’s only one ‘race.’”

    7. Danica Patrick: Patrick started on the pole at Daytona and became the first female driver to lead a lap in the iconic NASCAR event. She eventually finished eighth, by far her best Sprint Cup finish.

    “The No. 10 GoDaddy.Com Chevrolet not only had horsepower,” Patrick said, “it had girl power.

    “Kudos to Erin Andrews for rejecting the advances of 50 Cent. What kind of man complains about the lack of black people, then goes in for a kiss on the girl in the white ‘wrapper?’

    “I guess I silenced most of my critics with my performance, but not all of them. There are some creeps still monitoring the GoDaddy.com website who wish I’d show more of myself.”

    8. Ryan Newman: With Tony Stewart knocked out early, Newman led the charge for Stewart-Haas Racing, leading three laps and finishing fifth at Daytona.

    “I hate it for Tony,” Newman said. “His run of bad luck continued in the 500. Tony can’t catch a break, unlike the Daytona catchfence, which catches brakes, tires, and engines. You’ve got to hand it to NASCAR fans for coming to the race on Sunday despite what happened on Saturday. Those fans have a commendable ‘debris de corps.’”

    9. Clint Bowyer: Bowyer finished 11th in the Daytona 500, one of only two Toyotas in the top 11.

    “Judging by what happened early in the race,” Bowyer said, “Jimmie Johnson was not the Hendrick driver I expected to win the race. After the race, I felt like I was back at Phoenix when I kept asking, ‘Where’s Jeff Gordon?’

    “I’m just pleased my Toyota engine didn’t blow up like those of the Joe Gibbs Racing cars. Those JGR engines are like milk—that expiration date will sneak up on you.”

    10. Ricky Stenhouse, Jr.: Stenhouse, in the No. 17 Roush Fenway Ford, finished 12th at Daytona after starting 28th, joining teammate Greg Biffle in the top 12.

    “It looks like Danica Patrick and I have taken our driving to another level,” Stenhouse said. “It remains to be seen whether our relationship will follow. I sure hope so. Until then, though, Danica and I will collectively be known as ‘Hot And Bothered.’

    “I hold a unique position among NASCAR drivers. I’m the only driver who can say he’s dating a ‘fellow’ driver and still retain his manhood.”