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  • NASCAR Top-10 Power Rankings: Richmond

    NASCAR Top-10 Power Rankings: Richmond

    Note: The quotes in this article are fictional.

    1. Kevin Harvick: Harvick finished fifth at Richmond and will start the Chase For The Cup with 2006 points, six behind first place.

    “We were much better in the pits,” Harvick said. “Fortunately, our lug nuts were the only thing that was ‘screwed’ in the pits at Richmond.

    “Now, it would be negligent of me if I didn’t address the Ryan Newman-Tony Stewart issue. I’m employed by Tony, so you can guess where I stand. I guess what I’m saying is that lawyers aren’t the only people who defend Tony.”

    2. Brad Keselowski: Keselowski finished fourth in the Federated Auto Parts 400, posting his 12th top 10 of the year.

    “The action didn’t really start until Tony Stewart wrecked Ryan Newman, Keselowski said. “Newman then had some choice words for Stewart. If implied accusations of a 2014 incident are the measuring stick for Newman’s vitriol, then he absolutely murdered it, or at least manslaughtered it.”

    3. Denny Hamlin: Hamlin started on the pole at Richmond and dominated the closing laps to win the Federated Auto Parts400. It was his third win of the season.

    “I had to survive one final restart after a caution with three laps to go,” Hamlin said. “That was the last of 16 cautions on the night. After the race, I approached the flag stand and asked for the yellow flag and not the checkered flag.”

    4. Kyle Busch: Busch started ninth and finished ninth at Richmond. With four wins this year, Busch will start the Chase atop the standings alongside Brad Keselowski.

    “I wouldn’t be surprised if Brad or myself fall out of first after one race,” Busch said, “because neither of us can stand to be in the same place for very long.”

    5. Martin Truex Jr.: Truex finished third at Richmond, and will start the Chase For The Cup with 2006 points, six out of the lead.

    “The No. 78 Toyota failed the post-race laser inspection,” Truex said. “You never want to fail an inspection right before the Chase For The Cup begins, because you’re likely to get ‘pointed’ in the wrong direction.”

    6. Joey Logano: Logano finished 10th at Richmond, logging his 18th top 10 of the year.

    “The Chase field is wide open,” Logano said. “You have household names, and you have some drivers who are not very well known. Let’s face it, when the Chase ends, you could hear the words ‘Chris Buescher’ and ‘2016 Sprint Cup champion,’ but probably not in the same sentence.”

    7. Kurt Busch: Busch led two laps and took eighth in the Federated Auto Parts 400 at Richmond.

    “There were a whopping 16 caution flags during Saturday’s race,” Busch said. “That’s just about how many red flags go up when I’m on a date.”

    8. Carl Edwards: Edwards struggled at Richmond, finishing 32nd, 41 laps off the pace.

    “How about the Virginia Tech-Tennessee football game at Bristol Motor Speedway,” Edwards said, “There were over 156,000 people in attendance. Tire wear must have been an issue at Bristol because it was a blowout.”

    9. Kyle Larson: Larson recorded his third consecutive top-5 finish with a second at Richmond.

    “Tony Stewart has intentionally wrecked two drivers in two consecutive weeks,” Larson said. “First, it was Brian Scott. Then, it was Ryan Newman. But, at least he just wrecked them.”

    10. Jimmie Johnson: Johnson finished 11th at Richmond, rebounding from a 33rd the previous week at Darlington.

    “I’m looking for No. 7,” Johnson said. “Based on my mediocre performance this season, most people say the only ‘No. 7’ I could find is Regan Smith.”

  • Hot 20 – As Newman’s job just got tougher, could we give Ken Squier his old job back?

    Hot 20 – As Newman’s job just got tougher, could we give Ken Squier his old job back?

    A funny thing happened on the way to Richmond. Ryan Newman finished eighth at Darlington, got to within seven points of Jamie McMurray in the battle for the final Chase place, and then it hit the fan. Actually, it was not very amusing at all as his car failed post-race inspection, and that came with a 15 point penalty. Newman has to make up a 22 point deficit on McMurray, hope nobody below him in the standings wins this weekend, or just win the thing himself to make it. With a contract coming due and the owner’s other grandson ready to move up, this is the time for the Rocket to light the fuse.

    Kyle Larson‘s third place finish at Darlington was nice, but he also got tagged 15 points for failing the post-race checkup. However, he loses not a step in the standings and his win leaves him somewhat immune. As for the cash donations, Newman’s crew chief Luke Lambert was fined $25,000, while Chad Johnston, Larson’s bench boss, was fined $22,500. Would it not be lovely if you could fine your mechanic’s ass if he failed to fix your car the first time? Your doctor? How about politicians? We may be on to something here.

    There is one other scenario we have not mentioned. If Chris Buescher has a bad day and falls out of the Top 30, it is “hello Newman,” welcome to the Chase.

    Eleven races to go, and with Dale Earnhardt Jr. on the shelf until the Daytona 500, 23-year-old Alex Bowman will have a dream ride for eight of the remaining contests this season. It will be a good test for the driver who spent the past two seasons behind the wheel for BK Racing and Tommy Baldwin. Neither outfit has yet to win a race, boast just two Top Fives and six Top Tens in a combined 781 attempts. Bowman will end the season driving the good stuff. Jeff Gordon, meanwhile, finally retires again, after he completes Richmond, Dover, and Martinsville. Sixteen of his 93 career victories came at those venues, including nine coming at the paper-clip.

    What driver has the most identifiable car in NASCAR, even to the non-fan? Paul Menard. His name is all over it.

    Danny Gallivan, Vin Scully, Ken Squier. If you want to become a legendary hockey, baseball, or racing announcer, they are the prototypes to build upon After just a couple of minutes to get into the swing of things at Darlington, the 81-year-old Squier allowed us to once again hear how it should be done. These gentlemen were poets who were able to describe, inform, entertain, and allow us to witness the action simply through the sound of their voice. To actually see it on television was a bonus, almost an unnecessary one. Squier ended his term providing the lap-by-lap commentary in 1997, though we have been blessed by special appearances, as we were last Sunday. Gallivan retired in 1984 after 32 years calling the action for the Montreal Canadiens, passing away in 1993. The 88-year old Scully is presently bringing his 67-year career behind the Dodger microphone to a close. They remain incomparable and irreplaceable.

    Richmond has been part of the NASCAR scene since 1950, and Saturday the race will feature eight present and former Cup champions. Twenty-six of those 40 drivers have combined for 530 Cup victories, and while 12 have locked in their invite to the Chase, another 20 entered have a mathematical shot at one of the four remaining positions.

    That includes all of our Hot 20 heading into Richmond.

    1. BRAD KESELOWSKI – 4 WINS (797 Pts)
    Loose wheel, loose wheel, he thought he had Harvick’s crew pitting him for real.

    2. KYLE BUSCH – 4 WINS (727 Pts)
    Six drivers under the age of 25 have driven for him in the truck series this season.

    3. KEVIN HARVICK – 2 WINS (840 Pts)
    Give me your tired, your poor, your huddled masses, and let them try to pit my car.

    4. CARL EDWARDS – 2 WINS (746 Pts)
    First last lap pass for the win at Richmond in the spring, why not the fall?

    5. DENNY HAMLIN – 2 WINS (729 Pts)
    If he ran NASCAR, would shorten the season and the World 600. Good thing he doesn’t.

    6. MARTIN TRUEX JR. – 2 WINS (696 Pts)
    Interested in just winning the Memorial and Labor Day weekend classics this season.

    7. MATT KENSETH – 2 WINS (669 Pts)
    Without Matt, Jim might have never worked at Dunder Mifflin or met Pam or Michael Scott.

    8. JIMMIE JOHNSON – 2 WINS (656 Pts)
    Jimmie won twice, had Top 10s in five of the seven events to open the season. It’s been a while.

    9. JOEY LOGANO – 1 WIN (752 Pts)
    With Junior out, does this give Joey a shot at being NASCAR’s Most Popular Driver?

    10. KURT BUSCH – 1 WIN (728 Pts)
    Felt kind of flat at Darlington. Menard’s flat, to be specific.

    11. KYLE LARSON – 1 WIN (606 Pts)
    Finally, he has two Top Fives in a row.

    12. TONY STEWART – 1 WIN (426 Pts)
    What happened to Brian Scott at Darlington? Why, he wrecked, of course.

    13. CHRIS BUESCHER – 1 WIN (358 Pts)
    Staying within 10 of Ragan next week would be good, keeping him in the rearview, even better.

    14. CHASE ELLIOTT – 659 POINTS
    Finish 17th or better and he is off to the ball.

    15. AUSTIN DILLON – 651 POINTS
    Menard has a sponsor, Dillon has a grandfather, and Newman needs the Chase.

    16. JAMIE MCMURRAY – 642 POINTS
    Could have been 30 points up if not for that late Darlington penalty.

    17. RYAN NEWMAN – 620 POINTS
    Penalty cripples his Chase bid, while the other Dillon has designs on his ride.

    18. KASEY KAHNE – 598 POINTS
    At least Junior has an excuse for not making the Chase.

    19. RYAN BLANEY – 573 POINTS
    No gloves, no problem, but less money in your pocket.

    20. A.J. ALLMENDINGER – 562 POINTS
    Mr. Tickles? Maybe it was girlfriend Tara who named the cat.

  • NASCAR Top-10 Power Rankings: Darlington

    NASCAR Top-10 Power Rankings: Darlington

    Note: The quotes in this article are fictional.

    1. Kevin Harvick: Harvick started on the pole after qualifying was rained out and finished second at Darlington.

    “We faltered in the pits once again,” Harvick said. “We are losing so much time during pit stops, I understand the problem, this time, was a faulty air gun. Maybe it had trouble with lug nuts, but that gun had no problem shooting me in the foot.”

    2. Brad Keselowski: Keselowski suffered a late loose wheel at Darlington and finished ninth. He is second in the Sprint Cup points standings.

    “That was the second of two loose wheel incidents,” Keselowski said. “I haven’t seen this many problems with a wheel since the invention of the wheel.

    “On another disappointing note, I was docked 10 points for failing a post-race inspection at Michigan. But I guess I should have seen it coming because NASCAR officials told me it was time for a ‘10-point inspection.’”

    3. Joey Logano: Logano finished fifth in the Bojangle’s Southern 500 at Darlington, posting his ninth top-five result of the season.

    “Bojangles is famous for its chicken,” Logano said. “Ryan Newman says I am too.”

    4. Kyle Busch: Busch started sixth at Darlington and finished 11th.

    “How about that fight after the Camping World Truck Series race between Cole Custer and John Hunter Nemechek?” Busch said. “Nemechek’s actions were cold-blooded; Custer’s response was Cole-blooded. I wouldn’t be surprised if NASCAR takes the victory away from Nemechek. If that happens, then the son of the man known as ‘Front Row Joe’ will be known as ‘Front Row No.’”

    5. Martin Truex Jr.: Truex led 28 laps and held off the hard-charging Kevin Harvick down the stretch to win the Bojangle’s Southern 500 at Darlington. It was Truex’s second win of the season.

    “Having Harvick chasing me only made me go faster,” Truex said. “Everyone knows, especially Brad Keselowski, that Harvick does his best ‘pushing’ when he’s behind you.”

    6. Denny Hamlin: Hamlin led 13 laps and came home fourth in the Southern 500, registering his eighth top five of the year.

    “The Sprint Cup race lacked the exciting finish of the Camping World Truck Series race,” Hamlin said. “John Hunter Nemechek incited the ire of Cole Custer, and Custer responded with a flying takedown. I see a Bass Pro Shops promotion in the future for those two guys, because that’s textbook ‘bait and tackle.’”

    7. Kurt Busch: Busch was wrecked with 40 laps to go at Darlington when Paul Menard’s lost control after his left-rear tire went flat. Menard slid up the track, sending Busch into the wall. Busch finished 34th.

    “I don’t blame Menard,” Busch said. “He was totally innocent. For me to blame him for the crash would be like someone accusing a girlfriend of being a hired assassin.”

    8. Carl Edwards: Edwards finished a disappointing 19th at Darlington, the only Joe Gibbs Racing driver to finish outside the top 11.

    “Trust me,” Edwards said, “I know what it’s like to be an outsider. But that’s okay. When you’re an outsider at a NASCAR race, you have plenty of company, because porta-potties are known as ‘outsiders.’”

    9. Matt Kenseth: Kenseth finished sixth at Darlington, joining Joe Gibbs Racing teammate Denny Hamlin in the top 10.

    “I can certainly relate to Cole Custer,” Kenseth said. “I can’t tell you how many times I’ve wanted to tackle a rival driver. But racing isn’t football. Sure, there are similarities, like ‘false starts’ and ‘interference’ and ‘helmets.’ But there is considerable diversity in the two sports, such as NASCAR’s lack of diversity.”

    10. Kyle Larson: One week after winning at Michigan, Larson was again strong at Darlington, leading 45 laps on his way to a third-place finish.

    “I’m brimming with confidence,” Larson said. “And, unlike Kevin Harvick, I have nothing but good things to say about my pit crew. While Harvick is critiquing at the wrong moment, I’m peaking at the right moment.”

  • Dale Earnhardt Jr. Out for the Rest of the 2016 Season

    Dale Earnhardt Jr. Out for the Rest of the 2016 Season

    DARLINGTON, S.C. — Dale Earnhardt Jr. won’t return to the driver’s seat for the remainder of 2016.

    Hendrick Motorsports announced today that the driver of the No. 88 HMS Chevrolet has not been medically cleared to compete for the rest of the 2016 NASCAR Sprint Cup Series season.

    Earnhardt has sat out the last six races after being diagnosed with symptoms of a concussion that his doctors say were triggered by his wreck at Michigan in June. He’s been undergoing regular evaluation at the University of Pittsburgh Medical Center Sports Medicine Concussion Program under the direction of Dr. Micky Collins and with Charlotte neurosurgeon Dr. Jerry Petty.

    “I wish I could return to the No. 88 team this season,” Earnhardt said. “To say I’m disappointed doesn’t begin to describe how I feel, but I know this is the right thing for my long-term health and career. I’m 100 percent focused on my recovery, and I will continue to follow everything the doctors tell me. They’re seeing good progress in my test results, and I’m feeling that progress physically. I plan to be healthy and ready to compete at Daytona in February. I’m working toward that.”

    Earnhardt also mentioned that he’s received overwhelming support from both inside and outside the Hendrick organization.

    “The support from both inside and outside the race team has been overwhelming. Everyone has been so encouraging and positive, from my teammates and sponsors to my family, friends and fans. It’s motivating and humbling at the same time.”

    Team owner Rick Hendrick said he knows “how hard Dale has worked and how frustrating this is for him. He wants to be back, and we want him back, but we want it to be for the long haul. We’ve had incredible support from everyone involved with the team, including all of our sponsors. They’ve put Dale’s health first every step of the way.”

    Alex Bowman and Jeff Gordon will continue to drive the No. 88 Chevrolet for the remainder of the season as they’ve been doing for the last six races.

    Hendrick Motorsports also released their driver schedule for the 88 car detailing which race will feature which driver. Gordon will drive the car in four of the final 12 races (Darlington, Richmond, Dover and Martinsville). Bowman will pilot the car in the other eight (Chicagoland, Loudon, Charlotte, Kansas, Talladega, Texas, Phoenix and Homestead).

    “Jeff and Alex will give us a great opportunity over the rest of the season,” Hendrick added. “Jeff is one of the best of all time and knows our system. He brings things to the table that no one else can. Alex is a young driver with a lot of talent, and he will give us a fresh perspective. We know they’re not only capable of running up front and giving us a chance to win, but they’ll help us get better.”

  • NASCAR Top-10 Power Rankings: Michigan

    NASCAR Top-10 Power Rankings: Michigan

    Note: The quotes in this article are fictional.

    1. Kevin Harvick: Harvick finished fifth at Michigan and maintained the lead in the Sprint Cup points standings. He leads second-place Brad Keselowski by 25 points.

    “Kyle Larson ran a great race,” Harvick said, “as did runner-up Chase Elliott. Those are two of the youngest drivers in NASCAR. Their combined age is 44. So, you could say ‘Youth was served’ on Sunday at Michigan, but not before ID’s were checked.”

    2. Brad Keselowski: Keselowski finished third at Michigan, posting his 11th top-five result of the season.

    “Recent wind tunnel testing showed that Fords are at an aerodynamic disadvantage to the Chevys and Toyotas,” Keselowski said. “Who cares? You know what I say to the wind tunnel engineers when the No. 2 Miller Lite is set for testing? ‘Blow me.’”

    3. Joey Logano: Logano started on the pole at Michigan and led 24 laps en route to a 10th-place finish.

    “That’s my second pole at Michigan this season,” Logano said. “This is amazing! Usually, when I hear the word ‘pole,’ it’s preceded by the word ‘bean.’”

    4. Kyle Busch: Busch suffered an early spin at Michigan and fell a lap down before eventually finishing 19th. He is sixth in the points standings, 103 out of first.

    “The No. 18 car got away from me,” Busch said, “much like the No. 5 car ‘got away from me’ when I was a young, stubborn pain in the butt with Hendrick Motorsports. But I’ve matured. Now, I’m an older, stubborn pain in the butt with Joe Gibbs Racing.”

    5. Denny Hamlin: Hamlin qualified third and raced to a ninth-place finish at Michigan, posting his 13th top-10 result of the year.

    “Congratulation to Kyle Larson,” Hamlin said. “He has a ton of talent and is going to be challenging for wins for years to come. Kyle epitomizes the future of NASCAR because he’s white.”

    6. Kurt Busch: Busch took 12th in the Pure Michigan 400, joining Stewart-Haas Racing teammate Kevin Harvick in the top 12.

    “Our other teammates, Tony Stewart and Danica Patrick, had mediocre days,” Busch said. “Danica hasn’t had a top-12 finish all year. She’s lucky she has a job, and she’s lucky that Tony is fond of her. There’s nothing that Tony likes more than a meal ticket, and that’s being a meal ticket.”

    7. Carl Edwards: Edwards started ninth in the Pure Michigan 400 and finished seventh, two spots behind Joe Gibbs Racing teammate Denny Hamlin in seventh.

    “Michigan’s two-mile D-shaped layout is a really fast track,” Edwards said. “Top speeds approached 220 miles per hour. That’s pure speed, and that’s certainly fitting in the Pure Michigan 400. Brooklyn, Michigan is proud to host this race, and I’m sure the town of Flint, Michigan would be proud to host the ‘Pure Water 400.’”

    8. Martin Truex Jr.: Truex struggled to a 20th-place finish in the Pure Michigan 400.

    “The day belonged to Kyle Larson and Chase Elliott,” Truex said. “I never really was competitive. In the Furniture Row’s chair department parlance, I took a ‘back seat’ to those guys.”

    9. Jimmie Johnson: Johnson started second and led 37 laps at Michigan on his way to a sixth-place finish.

    “We had a slow pit stop just past the midway point,” Johnson said. “That’s because the gas man had a problem getting the fuel in the tank. For this race, my gas man earned an octane rating of zero.”

    10. Kyle Larson: Larson passed Chase Elliott on a restart with nine laps remaining to capture the Pure Michigan 400 at Michigan International Speedway. The win secured a spot for Larson in the Chase For The Cup, which begins September 18 at Chicagoland.

    “I made Elliott my ‘Target,” Larson said, “and the Chase was on. That was a sponsor plug, a rival driver plug, and a plug for the NASCAR postseason in one sentence. I have truly arrived in this sport.”

  • Hot 20 – Michigan is a track for legends, but no Junior to be seen as Buescher gets Ford support

    Hot 20 – Michigan is a track for legends, but no Junior to be seen as Buescher gets Ford support

    Michigan. A big track, a fast track. Sadly, not exactly a legacy event, like winning at Daytona or Bristol or Talladega or Indianapolis or Darlington or either road course.

    What it is, is a track where legends have celebrated since 1969. In fact, David Pearson, Cale Yarborough, Bill Elliott, Rusty Wallace, Mark Martin, Richard Petty, Dale Jarrett, and Bobby Allison have combined for 46 victories there. That is a lot of suds for a lot of Hall of Famers.

    Greg Biffle is the only four-time winner not in yet. In fact, he needs to make it five just to make the Chase this year. Same goes for teammates Trevor Bayne and Ricky Stenhouse Jr. The only driver at the big boy table sitting in a Chase place at present is Chris Buescher. He and crew chief Bob Osborne now attend the Jack Roush organizational meetings as Ford desires to have one of their boys succeed. Instead of leasing older engines and used bodies, the manufacturer wants to see Bob Jenkins compete in the best Roush has to offer. He might be a step-son, but right now he is Ford’s favorite son.

    Being a France has meant running the show, not being the show. At least, until last week at Bristol when Ben Kennedy won the Wednesday night truck event. The 24-year old is the son of Lesa France Kennedy, the daughter of Bill France Jr.

    Being Dale Earnhardt Jr. has delivered some terrific highs and tragic lows. His 2016 Chase hopes are down to winning at Richmond, but maybe his best health hopes are to take it easy until he is truly good to go. Alex Bowman returns to the seat of the “88″ this weekend, with Jeff Gordon expected to be back for Darlington.

    Kurt Busch ran the opening 6273 laps of the 2016 season, a streak that came to an end 372 laps into Sunday’s Bristol affair. While vying for the lead he came into contact with Brad Keselowski, to ruin the day for them both. If one has to go out, might as well do it with all guns blazing. It beats fading away with a whimper.

    Anyone remember the XFINITY or the Camping World Truck Series? If you do, and if you are 12 and younger, you get to go to all those races for free next season. What a wonderful way to introduce young fans to the sport. What a wonderful way of trying to get somebody to attend those races. Nobody else is. They do not really have much to lose. An empty seat buys nothing and appreciates nothing. This move is better than nothing.

    This is the final year of the Sprint Cup. Soon, it will be parked in the garage alongside the Nextel Cup, the Winston Cup, and the Grand National and Strictly Stock monikers. I joked that the GoBowling.com 400 race in Kansas could have had a worse name, then one wag commented “Don’t diss SpongeBob. That might be next year’s Cup sponsor.” Good Lord, he might be right!

    Heading into Michigan, here is a look at our QuikTrip, Auto Club, Food City, Bass Pro Shops, Coca-Cola, Bank of America, MyAFibStory.com, AAA, Ford EcoBoost, GoBowling.com, Hollywood Casino, Quaker State, Kobalt, STP, Goody’s, FireKeepers Casino, Pure Michigan, Camping World, Good Sam, Xalta, Toyota Owners, Federated Auto Parts, Save Mart, GEICO, Duck Commander, Cheez-It Hot 20.

    Sadly, despite these name mentions, I get not a dime. I obviously need a foundation.
    1. BRAD KESELOWSKI – 4 WINS (735 Pts)
    So ends Kurt’s streak. Mission accomplished.

    2. KYLE BUSCH – 4 WINS (674 Pts)
    Last week Kyle’s car was dying. All Allgaier did was put it out of its misery.

    3. KEVIN HARVICK – 2 WINS (762 Pts)
    Not the most wins, but probably the best damn car week in and week out.

    4. CARL EDWARDS – 2 WINS (689 Pts)
    Having fun and thinking a third beer bath at Michigan is in order.

    5. DENNY HAMLIN – 2 WINS (659 Pts)
    Good finish last week and with the boss talking an extension, things are good for the Pied Piper.

    6. JIMMIE JOHNSON – 2 WINS (612 Pts)
    If the sticky stuff worked at Bristol, why not pine tar the rest of the tracks?

    7. MATT KENSETH – 2 WINS (604 Pts)
    Drive well, make the Chase, but be considered an old fart and one’s job could be in jeopardy.

    8. KURT BUSCH – 1 WIN (692 Pts)
    So, that is what a garage looks like.

    9. JOEY LOGANO – 1 WIN (684 Pts)
    Since with Penske, has never finished here outside the Top Ten…and won in the spring.

    10. MARTIN TRUEX JR. – 1 WIN (630 Pts)
    His crew chief is Canadian, eh?

    11. TONY STEWART – 1 WIN (400 Pts)
    Tony is a big fan of virtual reality. Nothing gets broken.

    12. CHRIS BUESCHER – 1 WIN (328 Pts)
    All of a sudden, he is feeling the love from Ford.

    13. AUSTIN DILLON – 596 POINTS
    A Top Five last Sunday was more than welcome.

    14. CHASE ELLIOTT – 588 POINTS
    If you are surprised he is where he is, say his name slowly. That was our first hint.

    15. JAMIE MCMURRAY – 583 POINTS
    At Darlington, he is wearing the former colors of an older Elliott.

    16. RYAN NEWMAN – 576 POINTS
    He does not need to make the Chase to keep his job. Who am I kidding? Damn right he does.

    17. TREVOR BAYNE – 541 POINTS
    Crew chief Matt Puccia has won twice before in Ford country…with Greg Biffle.

    18. KYLE LARSON – 537 POINTS
    Sunday sure sucked. Maybe it is time for that first career win.

    19. KASEY KAHNE – 537 POINTS
    With Danica buried deep, it appears NASCAR’s two prettiest will both miss the Chase.

    20. A.J. ALLMENDINGER – 518 POINTS
    Top Ten last Sunday, but needs a Top One this time out.

  • Dale Jr. out for Michigan and Darlington

    Dale Jr. out for Michigan and Darlington

    Dale Earnhardt Jr. will be out for another two weeks as he continues to battle with the effects of his latest concussion.

    Hendrick Motorsports announced today that the driver of the No. 88 Hendrick Motorsports Chevrolet will be out of the car for this weekend’s Pure Michigan 400 at Michigan International Speedway and the Bojangles’ Southern 500 at Darlington Raceway after undergoing further evaluations today at the University of Pittsburgh Medical Center Sports Medicine Concussion Program.

    Alex Bowman will drive in his place this weekend at Michigan and Jeff Gordon will drive in his place next weekend at Darlington.

    Earnhardt has been out of the car in the days following the Quaker State 400 at Kentucky Speedway when he was diagnosed with symptoms of a concussion. Since then, he’s reported trouble with balance and severe headaches.

    “We know how hard Dale is working to get back,” said Rick Hendrick, owner of Hendrick Motorsports. “He’s following what the doctors are saying, to the letter, and doing exactly what he needs to do. Everyone wants to see him in a race car, but his health is first and foremost. We’re behind him.”

    In the time he’s sat out, Earnhardt has dropped from 12th to 21st in points.

  • NASCAR Top-10 Power Rankings: Bristol

    NASCAR Top-10 Power Rankings: Bristol

    Note: The quotes in this article are fictional.

    1. Kevin Harvick: Harvick took the win in the rain-delayed and rain-shortened Bass Pro Shops NRA Night Race at Bristol. Harvick passed Denny Hamlin for the lead, and the rain returned soon after.

    “It took nearly 24 hours for me to claim the victory,” Harvick said. “That’s what’s called ‘weathering the storm.’ Afterward, I was showered with adulation. And this win, my second of the season, has ‘whet’ my appetite for more. And that, my friends, is the end of my watered down plays on words.”

    2. Brad Keselowski: Keselowski’s No. 2 Penske Ford was collected in a wreck on lap 374 when Kurt Busch got loose and started a chain reaction wreck. Keselowski finished 33rd.

    “Kurt Busch took full responsibility,” Keselowski said, “but only for avenging his brother Kyle after I wrecked him on Friday night.”

    3. Kyle Busch: Busch dominated the early and middle portions of Sunday’s race at Bristol before a malfunction sent him spinning up the track, and subsequently rammed by the No. 46 car of Justin Allgaier. The damaged ended Busch’s day, and he finished 39th.

    “I called Allgaier and his spotter ‘morons,’” Busch said. “They were accused of incompetence. I was accused of being understated.”

    4. Denny Hamlin: Hamlin led 19 laps at Bristol and finished third, posting his eighth top-five finish of the year. He is seventh in the Sprint Cup points standings, 103 out of first.

    “I didn’t get the win,” Hamlin said, “but I’m certainly pleased with a third-place finish. Championships have been built on the strength of top-five finishes, so I’m happy to leave on that note. And, with all the rain we saw in Bristol, I’m riding on a wave of momentum.”

    5. Joey Logano: Logano finished 10th at Bristol, scoring his ninth top-10 finish in the last 11 races.

    “The Bristol race was jointly sponsored by Bass Pro Shops and the National Rifle Association,” Logano said. “Can you believe it? It’s a tale of water and guns that even an American Olympian in Brazil couldn’t make up.”

    6. Kurt Busch: Busch was battling for the lead on lap 374 when he got loose and spun, collecting and damaging several cars, including those of Brad Keselowski, Matt Kenseth, Jimmie Johnson, and Chase Elliott. Busch finished 38th.

    “I took full blame for the accident,” Busch said, “which is always difficult, because, in the Busch family, we make it a habit of not taking responsibility for our actions.”

    7. Carl Edwards: Edwards started on the pole for the fifth time this season and finished sixth in the Bass Pro Shops NRA Night Race at Bristol, which, due to rain, was run on Sunday.

    “They call me ‘Mr. Pole,’” Edwards said. “And by ‘they’ I don’t mean any of my ex-girlfriends. By ‘they,’ I mean the good folks over at Bass Pro Shops. They know poles. As for the National Rifle Association, they have a nickname for me as well. I win a lot of poles, but I don’t win them all. That’s why the NRA calls me ‘Semi-Automatic’ in qualifying.”

    8. Martin Truex Jr.: Truex finished 23rd at Bristol, and is now eighth in the points standings, 123 out of first.

    “As you know,” Truex said, “Furniture Row Racing moved from Chevy power to Toyota to start the 2016 season. Not that we’d forget, but all the rain at Bristol reminded us that we’re under the Toyota/Joe Gibbs Racing umbrella.”

    9. Jimmie Johnson: Johnson bounced back from a 40th-place finish at Watkins Glen with a seventh at Bristol. He is ninth in the points standings, 150 out of first.

    “Weather definitely was a factor at Bristol,” Johnson said. “It reminded me a lot of the time after my six straight Sprint Cup championship when everyone was asking. ‘Who’ll stop the reign?’”

    10. Austin Dillon: Dillon raced to a fourth-place finish at Bristol, earning his fourth top five of the season. He moved up two places to 11th in the Sprint Cup points standings.

    “I think fans were happy to see the No. 3 car do well at Bristol,” Dillon said. “Personally, I felt empowered driving the car made famous by Dale Earnhardt. The only thing that could have my day better would have been putting the No. 3 into Victory Lane, or putting the No. 5 car into the wall. No offense to Terry Labonte.”

  • The Final Word – Bristol, where good news mixed with bad, and it rained on everyone’s parade

    The Final Word – Bristol, where good news mixed with bad, and it rained on everyone’s parade

    Good tidings we bring to you and your kin.

    Sounds like a song. Sounds like a song we can wait four months to hear. However, Bristol did bring good tidings to some. It was great for Kevin Harvick, as he won his second of the season in a dominant performance to once again vault ahead of them all in points. While wins determine who is ahead of whom, as it should, accumulated points is an indicator as to who has been in contention all season long. Harvick has been one of those guys.

    Good tidings for Chris Buescher. It is amazing how good a guy can get with a little incentive, like a win at Pocono and a shot at the Chase. The 23-year-old might just be 30th in points, but by moving 13 points ahead of David Ragan in the standings his win is activated and he now finds himself ranked 12th among those with post-season aspirations. A bad day at Michigan could change all that, but as for now, all is good after his fifth place result at Bristol.

    Good tidings for Austin Dillon, trying to keep within the Chase despite having no victories. Fourth at Bristol really helped the cause. Same with Jamie McMurray’s Top Ten, while 15th did not hurt Chase Elliott’s cause much, either. Ryan Newman was 28th, which was not good, but he remains 35 points up on Trevor Bayne, which certainly is.

    Not so good for Bayne, of course. Twelfth on Sunday was fine, it helped him close up on Newman by 15 points. Unfortunately, he has only Michigan, Darlington, and Richmond remaining to move up via points at a time when a win might be the way to go. I guess he can always hope Buescher has some bad tidings, drops below 30th, which would pop Bayne back into a Chase place. Such bad thoughts, and so close to Christmas.

    Imagine getting your way paid to the Bristol Saturday night event as a gift, only to have the rain wash all those good tidings away. Rain Saturday night. Rain Sunday morning. With so much rain, it is ironic that the stands looked like a seat desert, with an oasis of real live fans visible here and there. It would appear that a lot of fans had their weekend plans totally screwed.

    Both Kurt and Kyle Busch crashed out, as did Matt Kenseth. Newman, Kyle Larson, Tony Stewart, Brad Keselowski, and Ryan Blaney might have been moving at the end, but all were sitting 24th and worse running five or more laps off the pace by that time. Bad tidings indeed.

    Next up is Michigan, where Jeff Gordon returns to retirement for at least one event. Still, we have to wait until later in the week to see if Dale Earnhardt Jr. is ready to return from his medical leave. Do you know Junior still has more points than Greg Biffle, Danica Patrick, and Clint Bowyer? Yet, any one of them would be Chase bound with a win on Sunday.

    Christmas could still arrive early for somebody.

  • NASCAR Top-10 Power Rankings: Watkins Glen

    NASCAR Top-10 Power Rankings: Watkins Glen

    Note: The quotes in this article are fictional.

    1. Brad Keselowski: Keselowski started 12th and finished third after battling with Martin Truex Jr. on the final lap at Watkins Glen. Keselowski leads Sprint Cup points standings by nine over Kevin Harvick.

    “I didn’t mean to spin Truex,” Keselowski said, “so I plan on apologizing to Martin in person in the near future. And, as you would expect for a personal apology to take place, you have to ‘make contact.’”

    2. Kyle Busch: Busch finished sixth in the Cheez-It 355 At The Glen, posting his 15th top 10 of the year.

    “Brad Keselowski and myself were battling so hard for the lead late in the race,” Busch said, “that we allowed Denny Hamlin to pass us both for the lead. Finally, something Brad and I can agree on.”

    3. Kevin Harvick: Harvick’s day at Watkins Glen came to a halt six laps from the end when he was involved in a crash with Chris Buescher and David Ragan. Harvick finished 32nd

    “The No. 4 Busch Chevrolet was fast,” Harvick said, “but I got collected in a crash that caused serious damage. So, instead of heading to the mountains of Busch, I headed straight to the garage.”

    4. Denny Hamlin: Hamlin won the Cheez-It 355 At The Glen, holding off a hard-charging Martin Truex Jr. down the stretch.

    “As you may recall,” Hamlin said, “I let Tony Stewart win at Sonoma’s road course earlier this season. That wasn’t going to happen at Watkins Glen, no matter how bad Tony needed a win. What I said to Tony is something someone should have said to him long ago—‘no free lunches.’”

    5. Joey Logano: Logano finished second at Watkins Glen, one day after winning Saturday’s XFINITY Series race.

    “I was so close to completing the weekend sweep,” Logano said. “Sadly, it wasn’t to be. I couldn’t bring the ‘broom,’ but I did bring the broom handle, which would be my skinny body. But I’ll put my abilities up against anyone in this sport. It just goes to show that you can be a heavyweight and a lightweight at the same time.”

    6. Kurt Busch: Busch finished 11th in the Cheez-It 355, just missing out on his 17th top-10 finish of the year.

    “Road course racing really tests your braking ability,” Busch said. “You have to know exactly how hard you can brake without causing a mechanical failure. I should know, because I’ve pushed hundreds of cars, and even more people, to the ‘braking’ point.”

    7. Carl Edwards: Edwards started on the pole at Watkins Glen and led 25 laps on his way to a 15th in the Cheez-It 355.

    “That’s two poles at road courses this season,” Edwards said. “That’s two more than wins I have at road course races this year. If you give me one lap to dominate on a road course, it most definitely won’t be the last lap.”

    8. Martin Truex Jr.: Truex stalked Denny Hamlin over the closing laps at Watkins Glen before he was spun by Brad Keselowski. Truex finished eighth and is now eighth in the points standings,

    “I was initially upset with Brad,” Truex said. “You could see that after the race. During the ‘cool down’ lap, I was hot, and Brad was ‘not cool.’

    “But I later realized it was just what is known as a ‘racing incident.’ So, if I happen to wreck Brad sometime later this year, just chalk it up to ‘incidental’ contact.”

    9. Jimmie Johnson: Johnson suffered a number of penalties before his day ended abruptly when he slammed into Ricky Stenhouse Jr.’s spinning No. 17 car in a lap 53 crash.

    “It’s a day I’d like to forget,” Johnson said. “But I think it’s a really bad time to wish for ‘memory loss.’”

    10. Tony Stewart: Stewart took fifth in the Cheez-It 355, posting his fifth top five of the season. Stewart is 26th in the points standings.

    “There were ‘Cheez-It’ billboards all over the Watkins Glen complex,” Stewart said. “And ‘Cheez-It’ was all over Greg Biffle’s No. 16 car. So, like one would expect, a NASCAR race was full of ‘crackers.’”