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Tag: Jeff Gordon

  • Hot 20 – Earnhardt out, Gordon in as an old dog tries to perform some old tricks for a sixth time

    Hot 20 – Earnhardt out, Gordon in as an old dog tries to perform some old tricks for a sixth time

    Heading into Indianapolis, there was just one story of note. Sure, Matt Kenseth’s winning car at Loudon was tagged at inspection, but nothing meaningful took place. He lost 15 points and drops behind Jimmie Johnson in the standings. In short, nothing of consequence.  Kevin Harvick remains upset with his pit crew, but they still have seven races before the Chase to figure that out. The only story of note involves the No. 88 and who will be behind the wheel.

    That would be Jeff Gordon, who comes out of retirement to run Indianapolis and Watkins Glen while Dale Earnhardt Jr. recovers from the effects of his latest concussion. Shaky balance and some nausea are what he needs to overcome, but while that is happening Gordon will run his 798th and 799th career races. The former four-time champ has five wins at the Brickyard, with the last coming just two years ago, while the last of his four Glen victories came back in 2001.

    I guess if you have to plop a bottom into the seat, this is not a bad selection. Gordon, obviously, is not among our Hot 20…but he should be the focal point of most of the fans on Sunday.

    1. BRAD KESELOWSKI – 4 WINS (622 Pts)
    One of only a handful of drivers averaging 30 points or more per race. That works.

    2. KYLE BUSCH – 3 WINS (556 Pts)
    Rowdy is to XFINITY what I am to a three-legged race involving 3-year-olds. The favorite!

    3. CARL EDWARDS – 2 WINS (587 Pts)
    He has had the best of times, but last week was not one of them.

    4. JIMMIE JOHNSON – 2 WINS (514 Pts)
    Figures his new teammate could very well make it six Brickyard wins on Sunday.

    5. MATT KENSETH – 2 WINS (506 Pts)
    Bad boys, bad boys, whatcha gonna do…? Not a hell of a lot that matters, it seems.

    6. KEVIN HARVICK – 1 WIN (636 Pts)
    It sounds as if his crew are to pit stops what I am to ballet, sprinting, basketball, hair styling…

    7. KURT BUSCH – 1 WIN (602 Pts)
    Wheels on the car do not go round and round when they are no longer round.

    8. JOEY LOGANO – 1 WIN (571 Pts)
    Going from mediocre to third turned New Hampshire into a pretty nice day…in the end.

    9. MARTIN TRUEX JR. – 1 WIN (540 Pts)
    You cannot stick it to the man without a stick shift to do it with.

    10. DENNY HAMLIN – 1 WIN (505 Pts)
    Half of his ten Indianapolis attempts resulted in Top Tens, but third has been his best finish.

    11. TONY STEWART – 1 WIN (287 Pts)
    All of a sudden, ole Smoke looks pretty comfortable in the standings.

    12. CHASE ELLIOTT – 499 PTS
    If William Clyde’s nickname was “Champ”, we could engrave the trophy and be done with it.

    13. RYAN NEWMAN – 497 PTS
    Newman figures Gordon still knows how to put on his underwear…or he said something like that.

    14. AUSTIN DILLON – 488 PTS
    That 2015 Daytona 400 crash now the cause of a lawsuit against NASCAR and the track.

    15. JAMIE MCMURRAY – 474 PTS
    Sixth place finish last weekend gives Dimples some breathing room going into Sunday.

    16. DALE EARNHARDT JR. – 461 PTS
    Staying out of the car this week and at the Glen, allowing some pretty boy his seat time.

    17. TREVOR BAYNE – 447 PTS
    A Top 20 finish would be very, very helpful this weekend.

    18. RYAN BLANEY – 445 PTS
    Ditto.

    19. KASEY KAHNE – 439 PTS
    Ditto again.

    20. KYLE LARSON – 436 PTS
    Read above.

  • NASCAR Top-10 Power Rankings: New Hampshire

    NASCAR Top-10 Power Rankings: New Hampshire

    Note: The quotes in this article are fictional.

    1. Brad Keselowski: Keselowski finished 15th at New Hampshire, as handling issues derailed his chances for a third consecutive win.

    “The No. 2 Miller Lite car wasn’t at its best,” Keselowski said. “That’s opposed to the previous two weeks when it was Lite years ahead of the field.”

    2. Kevin Harvick: Harvick finished fourth in the New Hampshire 301 as Matt Kenseth won. Harvick leads the Sprint Cup points standings with a 14-point cushion over Brad Keselowski.

    “We had one of the fastest cars,” Harvick said, “but we blew it during pit stops. Unfortunately, that’s become too often an occurrence. It seems like every time I make a pit stop, it’s a drive-through penalty. But I don’t want to name names, mostly because I don’t even know any of their names.

    “As far as speed goes, the No. 4 Jimmy Johns car is ‘freaky fast.’ As far as speed in the pits goes, the No. 4 Jimmy Johns pit crew is ‘freaky last.’”

    3. Kurt Busch: Busch finished 22nd at New Hampshire, with a likely top-10 run soured by late contact that resulted in a rear tire rub.

    “It’s never a good thing when you radio your crew chief to say you’ve got tire rub,” Busch said. “That’s a story no one likes to tell. If I had to make it in book form, it would be a work of friction.’”

    4. Carl Edwards: Edwards finished 20th after an accident with Ryan Newman caused a spin and cost Edwards hard-earned track position.

    “Congratulations to Matt Kenseth,” Edwards said. “I think he’ll enjoy that giant lobster given to the winner. They certainly have one thing in common—they’ll both soon be in hot water.”

    5. Joey Logano: Logano finished third at New Hampshire, posting his eighth top five of the season. He is fifth in the points standings, 65 out of first.

    “Matt Kenseth ran the perfect race,” Logano said. “I think everyone would give him two thumbs up, except for NASCAR inspectors.”

    6. Matt Kenseth: Kenseth took the lead with 29 laps to go and maintained it through three subsequent restarts to win the New Hampshire 301, his second win of the year.

    “Unfortunately,” Kenseth said, “my car failed a post-race laser inspection. On the flip side, 39 other cars passed the post-race loser inspection.

    “But I’m not worried about failing inspection. When all is said and done, I’ll still have the win. So everything will be ‘fine.’”

    7. Martin Truex Jr.: Truex suffered a broken shifter midway through the race on Sunday and finished 16th, and is now seventh in the points standings, 96 out of first.

    “My shifter handle fell off,” Truex said, “and the car got stuck in fourth gear. And then I had to make an unscheduled pit stop, which pretty much ruined my chances of winning. Broken shifters suck. Anyone who says otherwise is wrong. So, if you think my shift don’t stink, you are incorrect.”

    8. Kyle Busch: Busch finished eighth in the New Hampshire 301, recording his 12th top-10 result of the year. He is sixth in the points standings, 80 out of first.

    “Joe Gibbs racing drivers have won eight races this season,” Busch said, “and passed post-race inspections in all but one of those instances. That’s the definition of success, not failure. I’m not sure what part of Matt Kenseth’s car failed inspection, but it was detected via the use of a laser. I think lasers are great for NASCAR. That’s just one more thing, in addition to fans, that can get ‘lit’ at a NASCAR race.”

    9. Jimmie Johnson: Johnson finished 12th at New Hampshire, the top finisher among Hendrick Motorsports cars.

    “Dale Earnhardt Jr. missed the race due to concussion-like symptoms,” Johnson said. “So Sunday was a day of mourning for the people of Junior Nation. Of course, Junior fans needed some clarification on exactly what a ‘day of mourning’ is. To most of them, ‘day of mourning describes’ a restaurant that serves all-day breakfast.”

    10. Tony Stewart: Stewart chased Matt Kenseth to the finish at New Hampshire and score the runner-up finish, his second consecutive top five.

    “There was no catching Kenseth,” Stewart said. “He drove a near flawless race. I say ‘nearly’ flawless because there’s one thing he could have done to make it a totally flawless race, and that’s wreck Joey Logano.”

  • The Final Word – Even when not at the track, Earnhardt is the story, be it last week or this one

    The Final Word – Even when not at the track, Earnhardt is the story, be it last week or this one

    They had a race and Dale Earnhardt Jr. was not in it. Why bother? Should this not have been a day of universal sobbing, hand wringing, and “woe is me?” Of course, it should have been, but there was a race to be run in New Hampshire.

    Instead of Junior, 23-year-old Alex Bowman got the best seat of his 72-race Cup career. Would the car make the difference? It appeared that way until a tire made the difference and sent him into the wall. A possible Top Ten wound up 26th, but the young man got to show that he appears to have the right stuff.

    At almost the same time as Bowman’s misadventure, Chase Elliott had a left front go down to help ruin his day. Elliott has the right stuff, but it is points he could use and 34th does not award too many of them. Still, with a pad of more than 50 points to the good, the 20-year-old has nothing to worry about.

    A late game of billiards was not helpful to a pair on the outside but seeking a place on the inside. Ryan Newman touched Carl Edwards who clipped Kasey Kahne who then turned Kyle Larson. While Larson recovered to salvage 17th, Kahne was left in 25th. With Earnhardt sitting out due to his concussion issues, it was time to make hay. Instead, it rained on some. Junior sits it out and still sits in the final Chase spot, 14 points better than Trevor Bayne, who was 23rd on Sunday, with Ryan Blaney, Kahne, and Larson with even more work to do in Indianapolis if they hope to break some hearts.

    We said a star would win in the sunshine and Matt Kenseth did just that with his third at Loudon and second on the season. It could have been won by Martin Truex Jr. He was solid, dueling with Kyle Busch much of the way. That is, until, his shifter snapped. It is pretty tough to set sail stuck in fourth gear. That left him in 16th, while Busch faded to wind up eighth.

    As expected, the likes of Joey Logano and Kevin Harvick recorded Top Fives. It might have been somewhat surprising to see Tony Stewart and Greg Biffle do the same. It does not change things for anybody, with Logano, Harvick, and even Stewart pretty much locked in, while Biffle needs a win to advance.

    Heading to Indianapolis, the big story will be Junior. Does he return, or might Jeff Gordon step back out of retirement to fill the seat? If Junior remains on the sidelines, who will take advantage of his absence to grab hold of that final Chase place? We should know by Wednesday who is behind the wheel. As for June Bug, his mind is as sharp as a tack but has balance issues and some nausea. He also is not going to rush things. It would be nice to see him back soon, to make the Chase, but there are more important factors at play just now.

  • NASCAR Top-10 Power Rankings: Kentucky

    NASCAR Top-10 Power Rankings: Kentucky

    Note: The quotes in this article are fictional.

    1. Brad Keselowski: Keselowski won for the fourth time this year, and second time consecutively, with the victory in the Quaker State 400.

    “That’s ‘2’ in a row,” Keselowski said. “I saved just enough fuel to make it to the finish line for my fourth win this year. That’s more than any other driver. But I’m not done yet. Trust me, I’ve got more left in the tank.”

    2. Kevin Harvick: Harvick started on the pole at Kentucky and finished ninth, posting his 14th top 10 of the year.

    “I led the most laps,” Harvick said, “and I had one of the strongest cars. I should have won, but I didn’t. Now I know what Richard Childress felt like in 2013 because I ‘let one slip away.’”

    3. Kurt Busch: Busch finished fourth in the Quaker State 400, recording his sixth top-five finish of the year. He is third in the points standings, 16 behind Kevin Harvick.

    “There was a truck in the parking lot that caught fire during the race,” Busch said. “It was quite a spectacle. But there was ‘Smoke’ rising on the track as well; Tony Stewart finished fifth. And speaking of ‘finished fifths,’ there were a lot of empty bottles of bourbon littering the Kentucky Speedway infield. So, consider the sorrows of Dale Earnhardt Jr. fans drowned.”

    4. Carl Edwards: Edwards closed the gap on Brad Keselowski in the closing stages at Kentucky, but Keselowski had just enough fuel to hold him off. Edwards settled for the runner-up spot and is now fourth in the points standings, 33 out of first.

    “I got all up on Keselowski’s bumper,” Edwards said. “Brad should consider himself lucky, because most drivers, like Matt Kenseth and Kevin Harvick, are used to me getting all up in their grill.”

    5. Joey Logano: Logano blew a right-front tire early in the race at Kentucky and slammed the wall hard, severely crippling his No. 22 Penske Ford. Logano limped home with a finish of 39th.

    “That was the hardest hit I’ve experienced in a long time,” Logano said. “Ryan Newman once threatened to hit me that hard.

    “My teammate Brad Keselowski took the win with a perfect fuel mileage strategy. He saved fuel to the point where he didn’t even have enough to do a victory burnout. Now that’s what I call taking fuel mileage strategy to the extreme.”

    6. Martin Truex Jr.: Truex’s sights on a win at Kentucky came crashing down when he was penalized for an illegal pass on pit road during a late caution. He eventually finished 10th.

    “NASCAR officials tell me it’s illegal to pass on the inside on pit road,” Truex said. “That pretty much ended my run to the front. You could say I had a ‘transmission” problem because I got ‘drive shafted.’”

    7. Kyle Busch: Busch, who won at Kentucky last year, finished 12th in the Quaker State 400.

    “The finish to the race was very exciting,” Busch said, “with Carl Edwards chasing Brad Keselowski. But the real action was in the parking lot, where a truck caught on fire. Apparently, emergency responders pulled a person out of the truck. So, it seems the truck wasn’t the only thing ‘smoking.’”

    8. Jimmie Johnson: Johnson suffered an early spin at Kentucky and smashed the wall exiting Turn 4, leading to a long night in the Quaker State 400. He eventually finished 32nd, 59 laps down.

    “I just got loose,” Johnson said. “The lower downforce package the cars are running make them hard to handle. But it’s no surprise grip is an issue with me. I won my last Sprint Cup championship in 2010, and things have been ‘slipping’ since then.”

    9. Chase Elliott: Elliott was clipped by Ryan Blaney’s spin early in the race and limped home with a 31st at Kentucky.

    “I don’t fault Ryan for the accident,” Elliott said. “He comes from a reputable family, so I’m reluctant to throw blame around. Much like his father Dave, Ryan’s ‘done nothing’ in this sport.”

    10. Tony Stewart: Stewart finished fifth in the Quaker State 400, earning his second top-five of the year.

    “I’ve already got a win this season,” Stewart said. “The Chase format tells me I need to keep an eye on the top 30. My waist size tells me I need to keep an eye on the ‘bottom 50.’”

  • NASCAR Top-10 Power Rankings: Sonoma

    NASCAR Top-10 Power Rankings: Sonoma

    Note: The quotes in this article are fictional.

    1. Kevin Harvick: Harvick started 25th and finished sixth at Sonoma as Stewart-Haas Racing teammate Tony Stewart grabbed the win.

    “Tony is a legend in the garage,” Harvick said, “as well as the kitchen. I’m proud to say I work for Tony. In other words, I’m on his payroll. And that roll is just one of many belonging to Tony.

    “How about that fight after the Camping World Truck series race on Saturday? It was a lot like a fight involving Sprint Cup drivers, just with punches.”

    2. Kurt Busch: Busch finished 10th in the Toyota/Save Mart 350, posting his series-best 13th top 10 of the year. He is second in the Sprint Cup points standings, 30 behind Kevin Harvick.

    “You probably saw a lot of people run over to Tony’s car in Victory Lane,” Busch said. “That wasn’t to congratulate him; it just takes that many people to pull Tony out of his car.”

    3. Carl Edwards: Edwards started on the pole in the Toyota/Save Mart 350 and finished fourth as Joe Gibbs Racing placed three drivers in the top 10.

    “There was an all-out brawl after Saturday night’s Camping World Truck Series race,” Edwards said. “John Wes Townley and Spencer Gallagher wrestled and slugged it out after crashing. I think it’s great for the sport. To those drivers, I say ‘Keep on Truckin’!’”

    4. Brad Keselowski: Keselowski finished 15th at Sonoma and is now fourth in the points standings, 56 out of first.

    “Cheers to Tony Stewart,” Keselowski said. “What a great win for him. He’s a legend in this sport. In fact, you could say Tony puts the ‘ass’ in ‘ambassador.’

    “As you probably heard, Jeff Gordon and I sat down to talk about our recent disagreement. I guess we came to some sort of agreement. Don’t get me wrong, I’m still going to speak my mind. As everyone knows, I’m just as mouthy as I am ‘gummy.’”

    5. Kyle Busch: Busch joined Joe Gibbs Racing teammates Denny Hamlin and Carl Edwards in the top 10 with a seventh-place finish in the Toyota/Save Mart 350.

    “I hit a jackrabbit during Friday’s practice,” Busch said. “That was the worst case of wheel hop I’ve ever seen. Luckily, the collision didn’t cause much damage, at least to my car. Sure, the handling was off a little, but just by a ‘hare.’”

    6. Jimmie Johnson: Johnson finished 13th at Sonoma as 45-year-old Tony Stewart took the win, his first since 2013.

    “I think everybody is happy that Tony won,” Johnson said. “Ironically, the only way that everybody can be happy is if Tony wins, because Tony’s never happy otherwise.”

    7. Joey Logano: Logano finished third at Sonoma, posting his fifth top-five result of the year. He is fifth in the points standings, 71 out of first.

    “I had a great view of the Tony Stewart-Denny Hamlin battle for the win,” Logano said. “I think everyone was pulling for Tony to win, especially Hamlin.

    “But Tony’s win is great for NASCAR. The fans loved it. If there’s one thing Tony does well, it’s fill the stands. If there’s one thing Tony does better, it’s fill a seat.”

    8. Chase Elliott: Elliott struggled in his first Sprint Cup race at Sonoma, finishing 21st.

    “Jeff Gordon says he’s interested in joining ‘Live’ with Kelly Ripa,” Elliott said. “I think it’s a great idea. If he gets the job, I think his first order of business should be doing a sit-down interview with Brad Keselowski. Jeff probably has other ideas; specifically, a ‘sit-down, shut-up’ interview with Keselowski.

    9. Denny Hamlin: Hamlin finished second at Sonoma after battling former teammate Tony Stewart down the stretch. It was Hamlin’s fifth top-five finish of the year.

    “There are those that say I ‘let’ Tony win,” Hamlin said. “That my mistake in the final corner was intentional. People ask me, ‘Did you do that on purpose?’ The only thing I can say to that is, ‘For Christ’s sake, don’t ask Tony that question!’”

    10. Tony Stewart: Stewart passed Denny Hamlin on the final corner, just seconds after Hamlin passed him, to win the Toyota/Save Mart 350.

    “I snapped an 84-race winless drought,” Stewart said. “That a long time to go without a win. It’s the same feeling I get when I step on my bathroom scale because the ‘weight’ is over.”

  • The Final Word – Dreams do Come True in California

    The Final Word – Dreams do Come True in California

    Frodo and Sam live. Shane kills the bad men. Cinderella gets the slipper and the fella. Tony Stewart wins at Sonoma.

    It was a fairytale end to the action, but on that last lap, it looked like Cujo was going to win the day and break our hearts. On the seventh lap, Denny Hamlin got inside Stewart to take the lead and started to put some distance between himself and the retiring former champion. Then, on the 11th turn, Hamlin made a miscue. Be it a wheel hop, a braking issue, or too much mirror watching, Hamlin went wide, Stewart went inside and used his entire car to block his rival toward the fence. It was over, as Stewart won his 49th victory, the first since everything went to hell for him in 2013.

    That all but assures Stewart a place in the Chase, just as long as he can make that win count by making up the nine points that separate him from 30th in that category. It also would be helpful if five of the remaining 10 races between now and when the Chase begins are taken by someone already with a victory. If more than 16 claim a win, then this story would end up with an Ole Yeller kind of conclusion. Please don’t let them shoot Tony.

    While Smoke finishes off his career in a good car, Clint Bowyer is spending the year before he succeeds him driving for Harry Scott, Jr. It is like Tony gets a new pair of fresh underwear to start each race, while Clint just gets a different pair of underwear. Trust me, there is a difference. While Stewart was winning, Bowyer’s car quit on the fifth lap. When he tried to restart the lemon, smoke came bellowing out from under the dash, and Bowyer went scrambling to get the hell out of it. It has been a One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest kind of season for him, and time will tell if he is Jack Nicholson or Will Sampson.

    Someone needed to scramble just a split second faster for A.J. Allmendinger. The runaway tire in the pits cost him in the late going, falling from sixth to 35th. Considering he climbed back to finish 14th, one is left wondering just how he might have finished the race if fate had been kinder. Talk about good things just disappearing in the Mist.

    So, gone are Darrell Waltrip and Jeff Gordon, as FOX makes way for Steve Letarte and Jeff Burton and the rest of the NBC gang. Daytona is back on the dance card this Saturday night for what should be known as the Firecracker 400. It is expected Stewart will pick up the points necessary so that win puts him among the top dozen in the standings. That would, for all intents and purposes, leave Kasey Kahne 13 points shy of a Chase position, and Ryan Blaney 16 out as they wave the green flag.

    I guess it is apropos that last Sunday featured this race as well as the season finale of Game of Thrones. You know, one comes back from the dead, another blows up, as everyone wants to sit upon the throne when the season is over. The nice thing is, you do not have to wait 10 months for the next episode.

  • Hot 20 – Like life, Sonoma is a series of challenging twists and turns

    Hot 20 – Like life, Sonoma is a series of challenging twists and turns

    It is not always just about NASCAR, as most of us got a chance to check out other things since the boys and girl last ran at Michigan. There was a basketball game in Cleveland I understand of some note. The NHL has an amateur draft this week and it seems you will have yet another reason to go to Las Vegas in the winter soon enough. One of the sport’s greatest icons, Gordie Howe, passed away. Wayne Gretzky’s future son-in-law won a golf tournament, France continues to host a big soccer event, Ichiro Suzuki gets closer to 3000 MLB hits, and the Chicago Cubs are #1. Hell, I am even reading a book.

    Sadly, damned idiots are everywhere, as Mike Wallace and his family discovered. Leaving a concert, the former driver was attacked and knocked unconscious and even his daughter was injured as she tried to protect her dad. They will be alright, though Mike requires some dental work. Three thugs have been arrested, and here is hoping real justice prevails. I do not give a damn what their problems are or how pathetic their lives have been. They did wrong and should pay for it.

    Meanwhile, some think Jeff Gordon could be the new Regis or Michael Strahan on set with Kelly Ripa. His first season as a FOX announcer is about to come to an end after this month, and we will have to wait until the fall to find out where his future lies. Life sure has a lot of twists and turns. So does Sonoma, the next stop on the NASCAR Cup tour on Sunday.

    Here are our Hot 20 heading to California.

    1. KYLE BUSCH – 3 WINS (417 Pts)
    Just can’t wait to get on the road again, maybe win that Sonoma race again.

    2. BRAD KESELOWSKI – 2 WINS (480 Pts)
    Failed to win in Iowa last week. Bet he feels like a total schmuck.

    3. CARL EDWARDS – 2 WINS (472 Pts)
    On his off days, this is one pilot who purposely takes his vehicle off the ground.

    4. JIMMIE JOHNSON – 2 WINS (441 Pts)
    Along with Junior, listed by Forbes as among the world’s highest-paid athletes.

    5. KEVIN HARVICK – 1 WIN (526 Pts)
    Fifth in the standings but first in points. By far. Maybe it is time to end his Sonoma jinx.

    6. KURT BUSCH – 1 WIN (496 Pts)
    Visited the Middle East to test a Formula One car. That is one way to keep busy on a week off.

    7. JOEY LOGANO – 1 WIN (455 Pts)
    Might be a ways away from taking the Most Popular Driver award, but a Chase place is his.

    8. MARTIN TRUEX JR. – 1 WIN (433 Pts)
    He has a lot of teammates…though he is the only one who gets to drive the car.

    9. MATT KENSETH – 1 WIN (409 Pts)
    Stats show that Sonoma is his worse track. Imagine how much fun Monaco would be for him.

    10. DENNY HAMLIN – 1 WIN (380 Pts)
    2 wins, 20 Top Tens. That is the standard for rookies Hamlin set a decade ago.

    11. CHASE ELLIOTT – 453 PTS
    Still looking for his first victory, but his points collection is rather impressive.

    12. DALE EARNHARDT JR. – 383 PTS
    I was hoping for a 2004 Intimidator SS Monte Carlo for Father’s Day. Maybe for Christmas.

    13. AUSTIN DILLON – 381 PTS
    Maybe Junior or this guy could help me out in my quest. They know people.

    14. JAMIE MCMURRAY – 374 PTS
    Not known as a guy who does well on the pretzel tracks, but maybe he should be.

    15. RYAN NEWMAN – 369 PTS
    Looked great in the Spring 2016 issue of LVLten magazine. Doh! Wrong Ryan Newman.

    16. RYAN BLANEY – 364 PTS
    Plays something called food roulette with his buddy Darrell Wallace Jr. Training for Survivor?

    17. KASEY KAHNE – 353 PTS
    For someone supposedly having such a bad season, even a win might not be necessary to turn it all around.

    18. TREVOR BAYNE – 345 PTS
    A storied yet still single car team making a resurgence this season, and still better than most.

    19. A.J. ALLMENDINGER – 337 PTS
    Win at the Glen put him in the 2014 Chase. Why not another road win in wine country?

    20. RICKY STENHOUSE JR. – 337 PTS
    Not the best place to be, but Kyle, Paul, Greg, Clint, Danica, and Aric would swap in a second.

  • The Final Word – New package excites Brad, Joey, Jeff and D.W. but as for Junior, not so much

    The Final Word – New package excites Brad, Joey, Jeff and D.W. but as for Junior, not so much

    Michigan brought us tremendous action. I mean, how could it not? Brad Keselowski tested the new aero package and he was excited about it. In the end, even ole Brad led 10 laps, as did Martin Truex Jr. Chase Elliott led 35, while of the other 145 circuits, 138 of them saw Keselowski’s teammate, Joey Logano, on point. In fact, the 26-year old was up front for the final 48 laps to take his first of the season and 15th of his career.

    Fifteen races in, 10 different victors. Dale Earnhardt Jr. is not one of them. Did he think the new package was a God-send, like announcers Darrell Waltrip and Jeff Gordon seem to think?

    “Not a whole lot different than the other package,” was the assessment of NASCAR’s most popular driver. Mind you, he was being interviewed in the garage after Chris Buescher had wiggled, waggled Junior, who wrinkled A.J. Allmendinger against the outside wall to remove both of them from the action. Even a Top 35 was too much to hope for. From the stat sheet, you could not say the much-promised passing materialized at Michigan, though the lower spoiler made sure things had the feel of a Montana country road in January.

    If this were Game of Thrones, those boys were the ice but Kyle Busch was all fire. Rowdy did not even make the mid-point, as his blown engine left the defending series champ dead last. The engine was fine for Denny Hamlin, but after a tire blew up he found himself on a wild ride and a 33rd place finish. Ricky Stenhouse, Jr. cut a tire with a half dozen laps remaining and had to settle for 29th. Not good, but their hard times on this day will prove as memorable in the long term as a race that was just newly named for a casino. I mean, even 15 years of Miller and its brands of beer did not leave much of a legacy since they departed as title sponsor after 1998. Since this has been the Kmart Sirius DHL Batman 3M Citizens Bank Life Lock Heluva Good! Sour Dips Quicken Loans FireKeepers Casino 400. Then again, what in hell do I know about event branding?

    Still, those holding a Chase place coming in did so when they left Michigan. The kids did fine, with Elliott the runner-up and Kyle Larson finishing third. He sits 23 points out of that final Chase berth currently held by Ryan Blaney, who was 17th on Sunday.

    Tony Stewart finished seventh, and while he still needs a win over the next 11 contests to get an invite for himself, he improved his position somewhat. Smoke shortened the gap between himself and 30th in the standings, at which point a win would actually mean something in the season rankings, down to 45 points. A single victory and Top Tens through to Richmond would sure be helpful to his cause.

    As for this weekend, they rest. Well, except for Keselowski who will try to take a starting spot away from somebody when the junior loop visits Iowa. I bet he is pretty damned excited about that, too. As for the rest of the grown-ups, they will wait for Sonoma on June 26th.

  • NASCAR Top-10 Power Rankings: Pocono

    NASCAR Top-10 Power Rankings: Pocono

    Note: The quotes in this article are fictional.

    1. Kurt Busch: Busch stretched his fuel mileage at Pocono and came away with the win, his first victory of the year.

    “The race was called the ‘Axalta We Paint Winners 400,’,eight” Busch said. “At least for me. For 39 other drivers, it was called the ‘Axalta We Ain’t Winners 400.’”

    2. Kevin Harvick: Harvick finished ninth at Pocono, posting his 11th top-10 finish of the year.

    “I lead second-place Kurt Busch by a whopping 25 points in the Sprint Cup points standings,” Harvick said. “You could say I ‘sit’ atop the standings, and I’m the only one that can say that. In fact, I’ve led the points standings for quite a while. So, I’ve been ‘sitting’ there for quite a while, so much so that my fellow competitors are often heard referring to me as ‘Can’t Stand Kevin Harvick.’”

    3. Brad Keselowski: Keselowski started on the pole at Pocono and finished third, as Kurt Busch held off Dale Earnhardt, Jr. and Keselowski at the finish.

    “I don’t appreciate Jeff Gordon’s comments during Monday’s race,” Keselowski said. “I expect Gordon to be impartial. In others words, he should hate everyone as much as he hates me.”

    4. Carl Edwards: Edwards finieighthat Pocono, joining Joe Gibbs Racing teammate Matt Kenseth, who finished seventh, in the top 10.

    “I’d rather not finish behind Kenseth,” Edwards said. “I’d much rather confront him.”

    5. Kyle Busch: Busch finished a disappointing 31st at Pocono, 10 laps down, his day hindered by a brush with Pocono’s Turn 1 wall. It was his second straight finish outside the top 30.

    “I’m in sort of a slump right now,” Busch said, “but waiting out the weather delay on Sunday gave me time to reflect on the good things. There’s nothing like a little precipitation to remind you that you’re the ‘raining’ champion.”

    6. Jimmie Johnson: Johnson wrecked late while making an aggressive move to the inside of Casey Mears with 38 laps to go. He slammed the inside wall hard and eventually finished 35th, 35 laps down.

    “I checked with my teammate Chase Elliott,” Johnson said, “and he verified what I feared: I made a rookie mistake.”

    7. Joey Logano: Logano started second on the front row beside pole winner and Penske teammate Brad Keselowski and took fifth in the Axalta We Paint Winners 400.

    “I’m not sure what Axalta is,” Logano said, “or why they would be painting winners. But rest assured, this is NASCAR. If Axalta is indeed painting winners, one color they won’t be using is black.”

    8. Chase Elliott: Elliott recorded his fifth top 5 of the year with a fourth at Pocono. He is seventh in the Sprint Cup points standings, 77 out of first.

    “I had a chance to win,” Elliott said, “but I made an ill-advised attempt to pass Dale Earnhardt, Jr. late in the race. I guess I need to be more patient, but what race car driver worth his salt likes to be asked ‘What’s your hurry?’”

    9. Martin Truex, Jr.: Truex, one of the pre-race favorites, was done in by two mishaps, one on accident on pit road, the other a late flat tire.

    “For the single car team,” Truex said, “that was you call a ‘double whammy.’ Which is all much akin to the phrase ‘One step forward, two steps back,’ which has been the story of my year.”

    10. Matt Kenseth: Kenseth finished seventh at Pocono, posting his fourth top-10 result in the last four races.

    “Kurt Busch surprised everyone with his fuel mileage,” Kenseth said. “Does he have a bottomless fuel tank? Who knows? Kurt’s theories on government assassins may not hold water, but his tanks certainly hold fuel.”

  • NASCAR Top-10 Power Rankings: Charlotte

    NASCAR Top-10 Power Rankings: Charlotte

    Note: The quotes in this article are fictional.

    1. Kevin Harvick: Harvick scored his third runner-up finish of the season with a second in the Coca-Cola 600.

    “I signed a contract extension with Stewart-Haas Racing,” Harvick said. “We met at the bargaining table; they made me an offer, I signed it, and, you know me, I pushed it back across the table.” Pushed.

    2. Jimmie Johnson: Johnson took third in the Coca-Cola 600 as Martin Truex Jr. captured a dominating win. Johnson is third in the Sprint Cup points standings, 48 out of first.

    “Truex certainly had the best car,” Johnson said. “I got close to him a few times, but he just pulled away easily. I really think he was just toying with the other 39 cars. Really, I don’t think anyone has ‘played the field’ like that since Tim Richmond.”

    3. Martin Truex Jr.: Truex won the pole and led 392 of 400 laps on his way to a dominating win in the Coca Cola 600, leading all but 12 miles of the race.

    “We had the field covered,” Truex said, “or, in Furniture Row-speak, we had the field ‘upholstered.’ Everything went right for us, which was surprising. The way things had been going, I was expecting the wheels to fall off, both literally and figuratively.

    “Lewis Hamilton celebrated his Monaco Grand Prix with Justin Bieber. I hear he handed Bieber a bottle of champagne in Victory Lane. I’ve heard of DRS-enabled; Bieber at Monaco is a case of TMZ-enabled.”

    4. Kyle Busch: Busch finished 33rd at Charlotte, eight laps down, suffering his second-worst result of the year, and second finish in a row of 30th or worse.

    “I slammed the wall hard with 10 laps to go,” Busch said, “and NASCAR didn’t even throw a caution. I guess NASCAR officials ‘86’ed’ the caution. Or maybe they ‘78’ed’ it.”

    5. Kurt Busch: Busch posted his 11th top-10 finish of the year with a sixth at Charlotte. He is second in the points standings, trailing Kevin Harvick by 36.

    “I think everyone was happy to see Truex win,” Busch said. “I guess the old adage “Nice guys finish last” doesn’t apply, at least not now. I was skeptical, because with Kevin Harvick and Kyle Busch winning the last two Sprint Cup championships, the old adage ‘A-holes finish first’ has been the norm.”

    6. Carl Edwards: Edwards was penalized twice for speeding on pit row and suffered a finish of 18th, one lap down. He is fifth in the Sprint Cup points standings, 53 out of first.

    “Busted for speeding twice,” Edwards said. “I think we’ve seen this before because this certainly isn’t the first time a NASCAR driver has been brought down by ‘two-timing.’”

    7. Brad Keselowski: Keselowski came home fifth in the Coca-Cola 600, posting his fourth top-five result of the season.

    “The Sunday before Memorial Day is the greatest day of the year in auto racing,” Keselowski said. “Race fans can start the day in Monaco, head to Indianapolis, and finish the day in Charlotte. In other words, race mileage is inversely proportionate to culture.”

    8. Joey Logano: Logano finished ninth in the Coca Cola 600, joining Penske Racing teammate Brad Keselowski in the top 10.

    “I didn’t win on Sunday,” Logano said, “but I did win the All-Star Race last week. It’s nice to have my name engraved on the winner’s trophy. That’s a far cry from the rules for the All-Star Race, which are written in pencil.”

    9. Chase Elliott: Elliott finished eighth at Charlotte, recording his fourth consecutive top-10 result. He is eighth in the Sprint Cup points standings.

    “Martin Truex Jr. won one of NASCAR’s crown jewel races,” Elliott said. “The Coca-Cola 600. The Indianapolis 500 may have ‘Carburation Day;’ now, Truex can celebrate with ’Carbonation Day.’”

    10. Matt Kenseth: Kenseth finished seventh at Charlotte, posting his third top 10 in the last three races.

    “Congratulations to Martin Truex Jr.,” Kenseth said. “You know, Joe Gibbs Racing shares an alliance with Furniture Row Racing. That means we share technical data, strategies, and a dislike for Carl Edwards.”