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Tag: Kevin Harvick

  • Harvick dominates at Indy

    Harvick dominates at Indy

    Kevin Harvick won the 26th annual Big Machine Vodka 400 at the Brickyard on Sunday. He dominated the race leading all but 42 laps en route to his second victory at Indianapolis Motor Speedway and the 48th of his career.

    “Yeah, this is great. Got to say thanks to all the fans. Can’t tell you how much, yeah, that’s great. How much coming to Indianapolis means to me, as a kid I watched Rick Mears win Indy 500s and got to be around him as a kid, and he was my hero, so coming here and winning here is pretty awesome.” Harvick said.

    This was Harvick’s third victory of the season and his 17th top-10 finish in 2019.

    “Yeah, I don’t know if we had the best car, but we had the fastest car. We gave up the lead there on one of those restarts and then we came and pitted and the caution came out and it worked our way. We’ve given so many away just because of circumstances here, and the way that the caution flag fell today actually worked in our favor. It gave us control of the race and we were able to keep control of the race and not make any mistakes and here we are in Victory Lane at one of the greatest places on earth to race,” Harvick said.

    In a rare schedule that saw qualifying early Sunday morning, Harvick qualified on the pole. Stages were broken into 50/50/60 laps to make up the 160 lap race.

    Stage 1: Lap 1- Lap 50

    On Lap 12, potential playoff contender Daniel Suarez slapped the wall off Turn 2 and brought out the first caution of the day. Chaos broke out on pit road when an incident saw Chase Elliott get turned around causing a backup on pit road. Jimmie Johnson, Martin Truex Jr., Bubba Wallace, William Byron and Austin Dillon were all involved.

    Johnson had the most damage and would have to come back down pit road for a right rear issue. After the restart, Kurt Busch had a left front tire rub which saw him making a pit stop shortly after on Lap 17. As a result of the incident on pit road, Truex had left front damage on his car. Also during this stint, Brad Keselowski reported a possible vibration, but it was minimal.

    The second caution flew on Lap 43 when the No. 00 of Landon Cassill hit the wall hard after a right-front tire went down. Cassill walked out under his own power and was okay.

    Under the caution, Joey Logano and Ryan Newman played pit strategy by staying out to get the top spots and everyone else wound up pitting.

    A restart came with four to go in Stage 1, however, the field was slowed once more with Erik Jones and Keselowski making contact with each other off Turn 2. Jones hit the wall hard and Keselowski’s car went sliding down to hit the tire barrier. Both drivers would be unharmed.

    Due to the incident so late in the stage, Stage 1 ended under yellow with Team Penske’s Joey Logano taking the stage win. Kyle Larson, Harvick, Ryan Blaney, Newman, Johnson, Kyle Busch, Denny Hamlin, Alex Bowman and Chris Buescher rounded out the top-10 stage finishers. A red flag would eventually come out to allow track workers to clean up the accident.

    Stage 2: Lap 57- Lap 100

    Stage 2 almost saw a long green-flag run to the end of the stage before a caution was brought out by Kyle Busch. His motor expired and his car came to a stop on pit road going up in smoke. NASCAR would fly the yellow flag due to the car being stopped.

    At the time of caution, Johnson was the leader and green flag pit stops were taking place. Harvick had already pitted on Lap 85 and caught a lucky break with the timing of the yellow. Harvick would cycle out as the leader for the restart. Like the ending of Stage 1, another caution was seen for debris in Turn 2 on Lap 97 and the stage ended under yellow once more.

    This time it was Harvick who would end up winning the stage. Logano, Larson, Blaney, Logano, Clint Bowyer, Suarez, Kurt Busch, Johnson and Byron were the top-10 stage finishers for Stage 2.

    Stage 3: Lap 105- Lap 160

    When Stage 3 began, a major wreck broke out in Turn 2 when Johnson hit the wall. This would end Johnson’s championship hopes for the first time in his career. Kurt Busch, Byron, Buescher, Menard, Kligerman and Daniel Hemric were also involved in the crash.

    In what seemed like a potential race losing moment for Harvick, Blaney took the lead for a short while before green flag pit stops began with 34 to go. Harvick pitted from the lead two laps later and once again, a caution was flown for the No. 42 of Larson who hit the wall.

    Two more yellows were seen. The first occurred with 26 to go for Bowman spinning off Turn 2 and hitting the inside wall on the backstretch. The other caution came with 14 to go when Matt Tifft hit the wall in Turns 1 and 2.

    This would set up a late race restart with nine to go. Logano was on the outside row and tried to make a move on Harvick on the backstretch. However, Harvick closed him off, checked out from the field and went on to win his third race of the season and the 48th of his career.

    “As long as I was side-by-side going into Turn 1, I just didn’t feel like they were going to pass me,” Harvick added to PRN Radio. “I felt like I could hold my car in the second lane for the first three corners and nobody ever made it to the fourth corner on the inside line. So for us, I just needed to stay side-by-side and I wasn’t trying the bottom again, and that didn’t work. Luckily, things worked our way.”

    With three wins this season, Harvick is going to compete for the championship and hopes to win his second title for the first time since 2013. Harvick led five times for 118 laps for his second career Indy win.

    There were nine cautions for 48 laps and 13 lead changes among eight drivers.

    Up Next: With the playoff grid set, the Monster Energy NASCAR Cup Series drivers began their 10 race playoff run next weekend at Las Vegas Motor Speedway.

    Official Results

    1. Kevin Harvick, led 118 laps, won Stage 2
    2. Joey Logano, led 11 laps
    3. Bubba Wallace
    4. William Byron, led one lap
    5. Clint Bowyer
    6. Denny Hamlin
    7. Ryan Blaney, led 19 laps
    8. Ryan Newman
    9. Chase Elliott
    10. Paul Menard, led one lap
    11. Daniel Suarez
    12. Austin Dillon
    13. Ty Dillon
    14. Aric Almirola
    15. Chris Buescher
    16. Ryan Preece
    17. Michael McDowell
    18. Matt DiBenedetto
    19. Corey LaJoie
    20. David Ragan
    21. Alex Bowman
    22. Ross Chastain
    23. Reed Sorenson
    24. Ryan Sieg, three laps down
    25. B.J. McLeod, three laps down
    26. J.J. Yeley, three laps down
    27. Martin Truex Jr., four laps down
    28. Garrett Smithley, four laps down
    29. Josh Bilicki, five laps down
    30. Kurt Busch, five laps down
    31. Ricky Stenhouse Jr, seven laps down
    32. Matt Tifft, OUT, Crash
    33. Kyle Larson, OUT, Crash
    34. Daniel Hemric, OUT, Crash
    35. Jimmie Johnson, OUT, Crash
    36. Parker Kligerman, OUT, Crash
    37. Kyle Busch, OUT, Engine
    38. Brad Keselowski, OUT, Crash
    39. Erik Jones, OUT, Crash
    40. Landon Cassill, OUT, Crash

  • Harvick qualifies on the pole at Indy

    Harvick qualifies on the pole at Indy

    Kevin Harvick qualified on the pole position for the Big Machine Vodka 400 at the Brickyard on Sunday with a lap of 48.44 seconds and 185.766 mph. This was Harvick’s third pole position at The Brickyard.

    The Stewart-Haas Racing driver noted the importance of the starting spot in order to win the race.

    “It’s very important,” Harvick said to PRN Radio. “I wish we had that first pit stall to go with it to cap off the pole with our Mobil 1 Ford Mustang, but still a great job by our guys. Track position is going to be the name of the game today, having things fall your way but you’re still going have to have the handling of your car throughout the long runs in order to keep yourself out front and to have the option to put two tires on at any point.”

    “So there’s a number of things that’s going to come into play. The cloud cover obviously has changed things a little bit compared to the bright sun we had yesterday, so the track conditions are a little bit better today, so we’ll see how that affects the handling of the car.”

    Track position isn’t the only thing that’s important today. This race is also the last chance for bubble drivers to make the Playoffs that start next weekend in Las Vegas.

    Paul Menard qualified second, Clint Bowyer was third, Jimmie Johnson was fifth and Daniel Hemric qualified 11th. Ricky Stenhouse Jr. will start 12th, Daniel Suarez was 18th and Ryan Newman will start in 22nd. All of these drivers face possible elimination in order to compete for the championship.

    NBCSN coverage of the Big Machine Vodka 400 starts at 12:30 p.m. ET on NBCSN. They will switch over to regular NBC with Countdown To Green at 1:30 p.m. ET.

    With potential threatening weather in the area and the potential for more, the start time of the race has been moved up to 2:05 p.m. ET.

    Stages will be 50/50/60 laps to make up the 160 lap race.

    Official Results

    1. Kevin Harvick
    2. Paul Menard
    3. Clint Bowyer
    4. Joey Logano
    5. Jimmie Johnson
    6. Brad Keselowski
    7. Kyle Busch
    8. Kurt Busch
    9. Ryan Blaney
    10. Aric Almirola
    11. Daniel Hemric
    12. Ricky Stenhouse Jr
    13. Alex Bowman
    14. Erik Jones
    15. Bubba Wallace
    16. Chris Buscher
    17. David Ragan
    18. Austin Dillon
    19. Kyle Larson
    20. Daniel Suarez
    21. Michael McDowell
    22. Ryan Newman
    23. Ryan Preece
    24. Chase Elliott
    25. Ty Dillon
    26. Matt DiBenedetto
    27. Martin Truex Jr
    28. Matt Tifft
    29. William Byron
    30. Corey LaJoie
    31. Landon Cassill
    32. Parker Kligerman
    33. Denny Hamlin
    34. Ross Chastain
    35. B.J. McLeod
    36. Ryan Sieg
    37. Reed Sorenson
    38. Garrett Smithley
    39. Josh Bilicki
    40. J.J. Yeley
  • Harvick takes second Monster Energy NASCAR Cup win of 2019 at Michigan

    Harvick takes second Monster Energy NASCAR Cup win of 2019 at Michigan

    Kevin Harvick was able to overcome a flat-right front tire early in the race and would later stretch the fuel in his No. 4 Mobil 1 Mustang on Sunday on the way to his second win of the 2019 Monster Energy NASCAR Cup season in the Consumers Energy 400 at Michigan International Speedway on Sunday.

    Harvick led 22 laps en route to victory, taking the checkered by 1.054 seconds over runner-up Denny Hamlin. Kyle Larson finished third, while Martin Truex Jr. and Daniel Suarez rounded out the top-five finishers.

    “It was a day of a little bit of adversity that we were able to overcome,” Harvick said. “We had a really fast car all weekend. Our car handled really well today, and with the multiple lanes (due to the PJ1 traction compound), we were able to run all three lanes pretty well and make our way through traffic.

    “They (the team) put a really fast race car on the track, and we were able to capitalize on it, so that’s always fun.”

    Although the Playoffs are steadily looming closer, Harvick’s Crew Chief Rodney Childers still feels like there’s plenty of time for their Stewart-Haas crew to hit their stride, especially with two wins in the last four races.

    “I still feel like it’s a long time before the Playoffs,” said Childers in the Media Center. “We have a lot that we need to get better.  You know, we’ve just – we started the year off, and our cars weren’t where we needed to be, and we’ve continually got better and better.  I think to be able to get a win on a 550 track and get a win on a 750 track, that says a lot about the race team right now, to sit on the pole at Pocono and have speed there.

    “We’ve definitely made gains on it.  We’re not perfect by any means, and we’ve still got to get a lot better.  But we’re definitely in a lot better shape than we were at the beginning of the year.”

    Kyle Busch, Ryan Preece, William Byron, Chase Elliott, and Alex Bowman rounded out the top-10. Playoff bubble drivers Clint Bowyer and Jimmie Johnson both faced issues in the race, as both drivers made hard contact with the wall during the race. Bowyer would be faced with a 37th-place DNF while Johnson would finish 34th, eight laps down.

    Six cautions slowed the race for 24 laps, while eight drivers swapped the lead 19 times. The next race on the schedule will be at the Bristol Motor Speedway for Saturday night’s annual event at 7:30 p.m. ET on NBCSN/PRN/SiriusXM NASCAR Radio Channel 90.

  • Kevin Harvick scores his first Busch Pole Award at Pocono

    Kevin Harvick scores his first Busch Pole Award at Pocono

    Kevin Harvick claimed the Busch Pole Award at Pocono Raceway Saturday afternoon, leading the way in his No. 4 Stewart-Haas Racing Ford with a 174.058 mph lap in 51.707 seconds.

    It was his fourth pole of the season and his first at the 2-5-mile track. Harvick has 12 top fives and 17 top 10s at the “Tricky Triangle” but is still searching for that elusive Monster Energy NASCAR Cup Series win at Pocono.

    The qualifying order is unofficial until the final inspection which will take place Sunday morning before the Gander RV 400.

    Harvick is hoping to carry the momentum from his victory last weekend at New Hampshire Motor Speedway and capture his first Pocono checkered flag.

    “It has been a really good track for me and my guys and really the whole company knows that we’d love to cross this one off – one of the last two of tracks that we haven’t won at,” Harvick said. 

    “it’s been a successful race track and the first race this year we had a great car and the right strategy and jacked it up and the steering box broke. It’s just kind of been one thing after another like that and tomorrow it’s gonna take a fast car, but it’s also gonna take everything falling your way so that you can get the strategy right. It’s restarts and pit strategy and all the normal Pocono things that you have to battle are still going to be the things you have to overcome.”

    Current points leader Joey Logano will start on the outside pole after a qualifying lap at 173.377 mph followed by Aric Almirola in third (173.164 mph).

    Almirola was happy with his lap but thought he could have done more.

    “I might have left a little bit on the table, but I felt good about our lap,” he explained. “We made a lot of changes to our race car after practice. We weren’t really happy with our race car in final practice, so we made a lot of changes going into qualifying for the impound race procedure, so I wasn’t really sure what we were gonna have there and it kind of surprised me. I’m really happy with that. Our Smithfield Ford Mustang has got a lot of speed and now we’ve got to go race for 400 miles. Track position is really, really important here.”

    Erik Jones (173.110 mph) will start fourth as Austin Dillon (172.659 mph) rounds out the top five.

    “We have had good speed,” Jones said. “I thought with that lap we would have it. That’s kind of frustrating. We have a fast car and I thought we had a shot at the pole. It’s kind of frustrating, but we are starting up front, either way, so we will make a good day of it.”

    Jimmie Johnson qualified sixth while defending race winner, Kyle Busch, will start sixth. William Byron, Kurt Busch and Daniel Suarez rounded out the top 10 qualifiers.

    The Gander RV 400 is scheduled for 3 p.m. Sunday and will be broadcast live on NBCSN with radio coverage by MRN and SiriusXM NASCAR Radio.

    Follow @angiecampbell_ for the latest NASCAR news and feature stories.

  • NASCAR Top-10 Power Rankings: New Hampshire

    NASCAR Top-10 Power Rankings: New Hampshire

    Note: The quotes in this article are fictional.

    1. Kyle Busch: Busch started second in the Foxwoods Resort Casino 301 and finished eighth, despite a brush with the wall in the final stage.

    “I’ve had lots of experience with walls,” Busch said. “So have people who tried to interview me when I was a young punk.”

    2. Joey Logano: Logano finished ninth at New Hampshire and leads the Monster Energy Cup points standings by three over Kyle Busch.

    “I was just happy to get through the race without suffering from heat exhaustion,” Logano said. “Who’s not at risk of suffering from ‘heat’ exhaustion? NASCAR fans, that’s who. There is not ‘heat,’ also known as ‘rivalries,’ between drivers. And don’t tell me Clint Bowyer vs. Ryan Newman is a feud. It’s not. Newman has a notoriously hard head, and he was wearing a helmet, so he still doesn’t believe that Bowyer actually punched him.”

    3. Martin Truex Jr.: Truex finished sixth in the Foxwoods Resorts Casino 301.

    “It was the hottest race ever in New Hampshire,” Truex said. “And it sucked. Some of the younger drivers said it was ‘hot AF.’ I’m not exactly sure what that means, but I’m fairly sure it’s the exact opposite of ‘Cold AC.’”

    4. Kevin Harvick: Harvick held off Denny Hamlin on the final turn to win at New Hampshire, his second consecutive win at the ‘Magic Mile’ and first victory since Texas in November.

    “Finally!” Harvick said. “I’ve got a win. I feel like a huge weight has been lifted off me. This freedom must feel like what mini-Kevin Harvick feels like when he strips down to his boxers and a T-shirt.”

    5. Denny Hamlin: Hamlin wrecked in Friday practice and almost took the victory at New Hampshire in a backup car, finishing second to Kevin Harvick.

    “Wrecks in practice are a sure-fire way to ruin a weekend,” Hamlin said. “Just ask my crew.

    “But what about that weather? It was hot. It hovered around 100 degrees, and inside the car, it was even worse. I think Fed Ex should take advantage of this in a promotional sense and offer a new delivery package called the hot box’ for discreet deliveries.”

    6. Kurt Busch: Busch finished 18th at New Hampshire.

    “The Kevin Harvick-Denny Hamlin duel at the end had a lot in common with me and my brother Kyle’s battle at Kentucky,” Busch said. “The biggest similarity is that in both cases, the drivers involved really do not like each other.”

    7. Brad Keselowski: Keselowski started on the pole and finished 10th.

    “It’s good that Stewart-Haas Racing finally has a win,” Keselowski said. “With one word, Kevin Harvick silenced his critics and gave a shout out to one of his sponsors. He said, ‘Bu-schhhhhhhhhhhhhh.’”

    8. Chase Elliott: Elliott suffered from mechanical issues and finished 29th at New Hampshire.

    “It was a tough day for Hendrick Motorsports,” Elliot said. “We didn’t even have a car finish in the top 10. Plus we went through way too many cars. But I trust this organization’s resiliency. So, trust me when I say we’ll be ‘back up‘ next week.”

    9. Ryan Blaney: Blaney posted his sixth top five of the year with a fourth at New Hampshire.

    “Some guy named Andy Suess made his Cup debut in the No. 51 car for Rick Ware Racing,” Larson said. “And no, he does not drive for ‘The Cat In The Hat’ Jack Roush.”

    10. Aric Almirola: Almirola finished 11th at New Hampshire and is ninth in the points standings.

    “What a drive by Kevin Harvick,” Almirola said. “He faced a huge amount of pressure from Denny Hamlin, yet Harvick remained calm and held him off. Considering the weather, Kevin picked the perfect day to have ‘ice water in his veins.’”

  • Kevin Harvick wins at New Hampshire

    Kevin Harvick wins at New Hampshire

    With a 22 race winless streak, Kevin Harvick was not going to be denied a second lobster at New Hampshire.

    Harvick had to hold off Denny Hamlin to win his first race of the season, and the first win for his team, Stewart-Haas Racing.

    “(Hamlin) got to me, he tried to move me out of the way down there, and I knew that was coming as close as he was,” Harvick told NBCSN at the start/finish line. “So I just stood on the brakes and I’m like half throttle down the back straightaway. I’m like, ‘You’re not getting under me again.’ And he drove to the outside of me and I just waited till he got near me and I just put a wheel on him.”

    Hamlin finished second after leading 113 laps, all of them in the final stage. He took the lead after his teammate, Kyle Busch, had trouble and cut a tire and slammed into the wall in Turn 1. He went on to finish ninth but for Hamlin, it was more dejection that anything.

    “I kind of shoved (Harvick) up a little higher and tried to get him out of the groove,” Hamlin told NBCSN after the race. “I wanted to just tap him there, but I didn’t want to completely screw him. I at least wanted to give him a fair shot there. Down the backstretch, I kind of let off, and I’m like, all right, well, I’ll just pass him on the outside and kind of do this thing the right way, and once I had that big run, he just turned right. But I would do the same thing. It was a fun race, and congratulations to him and his team. They made a great call there at the end.”

    Erik Jones finished third, followed by Ryan Blaney and Matt Dibenedetto rounding out the top five.

    Kyle Busch dominated the first stage and half of the second stage and finished ninth.

    We had a good car all day,” Busch said after the race. “Just got into it on a restart I guess with Larson and that got us damage and that got us behind the eight ball. We would have been on strategy with where (Denny Hamlin) was the whole rest of the day, but we had to fix damage.”

    Jimmie Johnson was having a decent run when his power steering began having issues and the seven-time champ had to come in and fell multiple laps down and out of contention.

    Well, it was certainly a letdown, to say the least,” Johnson said after the race on NBCSN. “We had some issue with the power steering and the water pump pulleys. I thought it might have been from some contact on a restart. I got in the back of the car in front of me. They told me that wasn’t the case. So, I assume some debris got in the pulley system and took out my power steering and the water pump as well. So, it’s just unlucky on that front. Certainly, the wrong time of the year to have some bad luck. It looked like the guys I’m worried about in the points didn’t have the best day either, so maybe I got a pass on this one. I’m just disappointed, to say the least.”

    The Cup Series heads to Pocono for the second race of the season at the Tricky Triangle where Kyle Busch will try and sweep the series in the Monster Energy NASCAR Cup Series.


  • NASCAR Top-10 Power Rankings: Kentucky

    NASCAR Top-10 Power Rankings: Kentucky

    Note: The quotes in this article are fictional.

    1. Kyle Busch: Busch finished second at Kentucky to older brother Kurt after a dramatic and spirited two-lap battle for the win.

    “What a finish!” Busch said. “I think all the fans were on their feet, which is surprising because in most cases when you mention the Busch brothers, the words ‘can’t stand’ are used.”

    2. Joey Logano: Logano led with two laps remaining but was shuffled back on the final restart and finished seventh.

    “If not for that final caution,” Logano said, “I would have won easily. So thanks Bubba Wallace for ruining my night. It may be the first time the No. 43 STP car has actually impacted a race since Richard Petty retired.”

    3. Martin Truex Jr.: Truex finished 19th in the Quaker State 400, his night hindered by a late pit road speeding penalty.

    “Sure I’m disappointed,” Truex said, “but I got to witness one of the greatest finishes in NASCAR history. As duels go, I don’t think Kurt and Kyle Busch can top this unless they used real guns. If Kurt lost, he would finally be right about one thing–he knew an assassin.”

    4. Kurt Busch: Busch made a move from third on the final restart at Kentucky, and held off younger brother Kyle to win his first race of the season.

    “I don’t feel bad for my brother,” Kurt Busch said. “He’s already got four wins this year; he can spare a loss to his brother. I hope it humbles him to see me in Victory Lane. As they say, ‘Little brother is watching.’”

    5. Brad Keselowski: Keselowski finished 20th at Kentucky, one lap down.

    “I’m disappointed,” Keselowski said, “but I was thrilled to see such an exciting race. The race had nearly everything, although it lacked a driver taking another driver’s hat off and tossing it to the ground. I hope Clint Bowyer’s paying attention because if you’re going to do something to another driver, you should remember to take their hat off first.”

    6. Chase Elliott: Elliott suffered an early flat tire and fell a lap down, but worked his way back through the field to salvage a 15th-place finish.

    “One week ago,” Elliott said, “the No. 77 car won at Daytona with Justin Haley behind the wheel. At Kentucky, some person named ‘Quin Houff’ drove the 77 and finished 34th, eight laps down. What’s my point? The closest Quin Houff will ever get to being Justin Haley is only by listening to Metallica’s ‘Ride The Lightning’ album.”

    7. Kevin Harvick: Harvick came home 22nd in the Quaker State 400. 

    “The No. 4 Ford sported the Hunt Brothers Pizza paint scheme,” Harvick said. “But my car just wasn’t up to par. If my car’s performance was pizza, it would be the kind of pizza served in convenience stores.” 

    8. Denny Hamlin: Hamlin stormed back from an uncontrolled tire penalty to post a fifth at Kentucky, as Joe Gibbs Racing placed three cars in the top five.

    “Erik Jones could have easily won that race,” Hamlin said. “He had a front-row seat for the Kurt Busch-Kyle Busch battle. If they wreck, Erik wins. So, no one wanted to see the Busch’s wreck more than Erik. But let me be clear: everyone wanted to see them wreck; just none more than Erik.”

    9. Alex Bowman: Alex Bowman finished 17th at Kentucky and is ninth in the Monster Energy Cup points standings, 192 out of first.

    “My Hendrick Motorsports teammate William Byron had a good shot at the win,” Bowman said, “but he jumped a restart and had to serve a stop-and-go penalty. Apparently, he got duped by Clint Bowyer. But really, does Bowyer actually know when or when not to ‘punch it?’”

    10. Kyle Larson: Larson finished fourth in the Quaker State 400.

    “Chris Buescher’s JTG Daugherty Chevrolet was sponsored by Planters Peanuts,” Larson said. “So you may have seen their mascot, Mr. Peanut, at Kentucky Speedway in the pits. That’s unusual because, at most NASCAR races, those without pants are usually in the infield.”

  • NASCAR Top-10 Power Rankings: Daytona

    NASCAR Top-10 Power Rankings: Daytona

    Note: The quotes in this article are fictional.

    1. Martin Truex Jr.: Truex was one of 17 cars victimized on lap 119 when Austin Dillon and Clint Bowyer made contact, spinning Dillion into oncoming traffic. Truex finished 22nd.

    “All four Joe Gibbs Racing cars were damaged in that accident,” Truex said. “And Joe Gibbs was feeling really down about it. It’s a far cry from the elation Joe felt from winning three Super Bowls. Seeing four cars damaged in a single wreck? Well, that ‘Super blows.’”

    2. Kyle Busch: Busch finished 14th in a wild and rain-shortened Coke Zero Sugar 400.

    “This will certainly be the defining moment of Justin Haley’s career,” Busch said. “Will he ever be able to duplicate this feat? Ironically, he was the winner because lightning struck twice.”

    3. Joey Logano: Logano won Stage 1 and finished 25th at Daytona, his chances at the win ended when he was collected in a massive pileup on lap 119.

    “Like many,” Logano said, “I got caught in the big wreck caused by Austin Dillon and/or Clint Bowyer. Who’s to blame? In tennis, they would call it a ‘double fault.’ In football, it would be called ‘pass interference.’ In NASCAR, it’s called ‘racing.’”

    4. Brad Keselowski: Keselowski wrecked on lap 83 after a big push from Kevin Harvick turned the No. 2 Penske Racing Ford. Keselowski finished 39th.

    “Now that’s what I call getting ‘rear-ended,’” Keselowski said. “Of course, when your car is rendered useless, you need to catch a ride. So, I did, in fact, ‘Lyft.’”

    5. Chase Elliott: Elliott finished 35th at Daytona.

    “At the speeds seen at Daytona,” Elliott said, “the turbulence is extreme. It even caused the decals of some guys to peel off. It’s just another way that NASCAR is ‘losing sponsorship.’”

    6. Kurt Busch: Busch finished 10th at Daytona, but could have been the winner if NASCAR officials had called off a restart just a few moments earlier. Instead, Busch surrendered the lead to pit, thinking a restart was imminent.

    “The win was mine,” Busch said, “until NASCAR decided to shaft me. I feel like I just got punched in the stomach, which is a weird feeling because I’m used to getting punched in the face.”

    7. Kevin Harvick: Harvick finished 29th at Daytona, suffering extensive damage in a lap 83 crash, and then cutting a tire later.

    “My car was all over the place,” Harvick said. “Now, I can spin that in an interview in which I mention sponsors and say, ‘The No.4 Jimmy John’s Ford Mustang was ‘going places.’

    ‘I sure gave Brad Keselowski a big bump. Sadly, it knocked him out of the race. I guess I gave him a personal ‘drive-through penalty.’”

    8. Denny Hamlin: Hamlin finished 26th in the Coke Zero Sugar 400.

    “This may have been the last time we raced at Daytona in July,” Hamlin said. “The 2020 schedule shows an August date at Daytona, making it the regular-season finale. So, I guess there will no longer be fireworks, but with most of the field scrambling for a last chance playoff spot, there at least will be plenty of ‘sparks.’”

    9. Alex Bowman: Bowman finished 21st at Daytona.

    “That’s two consecutive first-time race winners,” Bowman. “First me at Chicagoland, then Justin Haley at Daytona. I thought I was young; have you seen Haley? He’s just a kid. But let’s face it, Kurt Busch should have been the winner at Daytona. And Kurt’s his typical whiny self about it. No matter whose side you’re on, the Daytona winner is acting ‘childish.’”

    10. Aric Almirola: Almirola finished seventh at Daytona.

    “Justin Haley captured what has to be the most unlikely win in Daytona history,” Almirola said. “Sure he was lucky, but he was awfully grateful afterward, thanking his Almighty Father and his Mother Nature.”

  • NASCAR Top-10 Power Rankings: Chicagoland

    NASCAR Top-10 Power Rankings: Chicagoland

    Note: The quotes in this article are fictional.

    1. Martin Truex Jr.: Truex finished ninth in the CampingWorld 400.

    “We just couldn’t get the handling right,” Truex said. “And it’s not like we didn’t attempt several changes and combinations. We went with the ‘Tim Richmond formula because we ‘tried everything.’”

    2. Joey Logano: Logano finished third at Chicagoland and leads the Monster Energy Cup points standings.

    “Thunderstorms caused a lengthy delay after just 11 laps were completed,” Logano said. “Should NASCAR have simply just delayed the start of the race? Logic would suggest they should have, but since when has NASCAR taken any suggestions, much less from logic?”

    3. Kyle Busch: Busch struggled with handling at Chicagoland and came home 22nd, one lap down, in the CampingWorld 400.

    “The handling was one thing,” Busch said, “but I also had to deal with a smoke-filled cockpit due to burning rubber. Luckily, I didn’t inhale. There are, however, lots of people who would love to see me ‘in hell.’”

    4. Brad Keselowski: Keselowski finished fifth at Chicagoland.

    “How about the ‘Kroger Helmet Cam?’” Keselowski said. “It’s a great feature. It gives fans a bird’s-eye view of what a driver sees. It’s too bad Ryan Newman wasn’t wearing it at the All-Star Race back in May. That way, fans could have seen what a totally harmless Clint Bowyer punch looks like.”

    5. Chase Elliott: Elliott finished 11th at Chicagoland.

    “We had a disastrous pit stop after Stage 2,” Elliott said. “The tire changer’s hose got stuck under the car. It’s one thing to ‘pimp’ your hose, it’s another thing entirely to ‘crimp’ your hose. Of course, we never want that to happen again. So we’ve made sure all crew members understand they have to keep their hoses in check.”

    6. Kevin Harvick: Harvick won Stage 2 and led the most laps at Chicagoland, but still came up short of winning with a 14th-place result.

    “I slapped the wall on Lap 172,” Harvick said. “I got loose, and there went any chance I had of breaking my season-long winless streak. It’s at 18 races. But don’t be surprised if the wall comes into play again, because, at this point, I’m so frustrated, I’d drive through a concrete wall for a win.” 

    7. Denny Hamlin: Hamlin won Stage 1 and finished 15th at Chicagoland.

    “This may have been NASCAR’s most exciting race so far this year,” Hamlin said. “I’m not sure what the exact numbers were, but I’m guessing Sunday’s rating, in true Chicago fashion, absolutely murdered those of previous races.”

    8. Alex Bowman: Bowman held off Kyle Larson to win at Chicagoland, picking up his first Monster Energy Cup series win.

    “I got my car stuck in the grass after my celebratory burn out,” Bowman said. “I forget it had rained cats and dogs earlier. Needless to say, I’ve been ‘swamped’ with ridicule.”

    9. Ryan Blaney: Blaney finished sixth at Chicagoland, posting his third consecutive top-10 finish.

    “The race started about three hours later due to storms,” Blaney said. “It was a long and boring wait for the fans. But don’t knock weather delays. Often, they can be more exciting than the race. But not this race. This race was very exciting. It had everything: exciting restarts, four-wide racing, and passes for the lead. But its most positive attribute was what it lacked—Darrell Waltrip.”

    10. Kurt Busch: Busch finished 13th in the CampingWorld 400.

    “Word is the 2021 NASCAR schedule will be shorter than 2019,” Busch said. “So, it’s apparently true what stock car old-schoolers have been saying for a long time: ‘NASCAR is less ‘event-ful’ than it used to be.”

  • NASCAR Top-10 Power Rankings: Michigan

    NASCAR Top-10 Power Rankings: Michigan

    Note: The quotes in this article are fictional.

    1. Joey Logano: Logano started on the pole and survived an overtime restart to win at Michigan, giving Penske Racing its fifth win of the season.

    “That’s five wins for Penske,” Logano said. “Joe Gibbs Racing has nine. The rest of the field has one. That should be very alarming to NASCAR. It may be the ultimate in competition cautions.”

    2. Kyle Busch: Busch finished fifth in the FireKeepers Casino 400 and is now second in the Monster Energy Cup points standings, nine points behind Joey Logano.

    “My brother Kurt almost got the win,” Busch said. “But alas, he finished second, which, interestingly enough, is better than he finishes when our parents rank their children, and they only have two kids.”

    3. Brad Keselowski: Keselowski finished sixth at Michigan as Penske Racing teammate Joey Logano took the win after starting on pole.

    “It was a great day for Ford Motor Company in its place of origin,” Keselowski said. “Six of the top nine cars were Fords. I was lucky enough to dine with the Ford family on Thursday night. They, like me, will tell you that nothing beats ‘home cooking.’”

    4. Martin Truex Jr.: Truex finished third in The FireKeepers Casino 400 after Joey Logano pulled away on a late restart to get the win.

    “I feel like Logano jumped the restart,” Truex said. “By the letter of the rule book, NASCAR officials should have penalized Logano and taken the win from him. That’s not unusual. You saw it in the Canadian Grand Prix. Sebastian Vettel finished first on the track, but a controversial penalty dropped him to second, and left him fuming. Vettel wnnt from ‘F1 to FU.’”

    5. Chase Elliott: Elliott came home 20th at Michigan, his worst finish of the season.

    “Sunday was rained out,” Elliott said. “And we didn’t start on Sunday until 5 p.m. because Fox wanted to televise women’s World Cup soccer. It’s just further proof that NASCAR will always lose out to some sort of football. Ironically, in soccer, people complain because there’s too much passing.”

    6. Kevin Harvick: Harvick started third and finished seventh at Michigan, and remained winless on the season.

    “I’m very frustrated with my lack of wins,” Harvick said. “It’s hard for me to verbally express my dissatisfaction, so I’ll do so with the No. 4 car sponsored exclusively by Busch beer. It’s ‘total Busch-it.’” 

    7. Denny Hamlin: Hamlin took 11th in the FireKeepers Casino 400.

    “We all love driving in races sponsored by casinos,” Hamlin said. “Little known fact: drivers gamble on more than just fuel mileage. Poker is the game of choice for most drivers. We take that to the next level by playing during races. ‘How can you drive, shift, and hold your cards?,’ some may ask. Well, with the help of the ‘HANDS Device,’ of course.”

    8. Kurt Busch: Busch chased Joey Logano to the end at Michigan, but couldn’t manage to make the pass and settled for the runner-up sport.

    “Several drivers tossed a football with fans during the rain delay,” Busch said. “I’m not the most athletic guy, so I didn’t participate. Heck, my last interaction with ‘pigskin’ was when I met with a back-alley plastic surgeon who suggested hog ear cartilage for reconstructive surgery.”

    9. Ryan Blaney: Blaney finished ninth at Michigan, scoring his first top-10 result since a fourth at Bristol in April.

    “Former NASCAR CEO Brian France pleaded guilty to driving while intoxicated,” Blaney said. “His grandfather Bill is a member of the NASCAR Hall Of Fame; now Brian can finally say he got ‘busted,’ as well.”

    10. Alex Bowman: Bowman finished 10th at Michigan, the top finisher among Hendrick Motorsports drivers.

    “HMS used to win championships,” Bowman said, “much less races. Oh, how the mighty have fallen. HMS used to be the preeminent race team. Now, it seems Hendrick has entered the ‘post-eminent’ stage.”