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Hot 20 – Michigan is a track for legends, but no Junior to be seen as Buescher gets Ford support

Michigan. A big track, a fast track. Sadly, not exactly a legacy event, like winning at Daytona or Bristol or Talladega or Indianapolis or Darlington or either road course.

What it is, is a track where legends have celebrated since 1969. In fact, David Pearson, Cale Yarborough, Bill Elliott, Rusty Wallace, Mark Martin, Richard Petty, Dale Jarrett, and Bobby Allison have combined for 46 victories there. That is a lot of suds for a lot of Hall of Famers.

Greg Biffle is the only four-time winner not in yet. In fact, he needs to make it five just to make the Chase this year. Same goes for teammates Trevor Bayne and Ricky Stenhouse Jr. The only driver at the big boy table sitting in a Chase place at present is Chris Buescher. He and crew chief Bob Osborne now attend the Jack Roush organizational meetings as Ford desires to have one of their boys succeed. Instead of leasing older engines and used bodies, the manufacturer wants to see Bob Jenkins compete in the best Roush has to offer. He might be a step-son, but right now he is Ford’s favorite son.

Being a France has meant running the show, not being the show. At least, until last week at Bristol when Ben Kennedy won the Wednesday night truck event. The 24-year old is the son of Lesa France Kennedy, the daughter of Bill France Jr.

Being Dale Earnhardt Jr. has delivered some terrific highs and tragic lows. His 2016 Chase hopes are down to winning at Richmond, but maybe his best health hopes are to take it easy until he is truly good to go. Alex Bowman returns to the seat of the “88″ this weekend, with Jeff Gordon expected to be back for Darlington.

Kurt Busch ran the opening 6273 laps of the 2016 season, a streak that came to an end 372 laps into Sunday’s Bristol affair. While vying for the lead he came into contact with Brad Keselowski, to ruin the day for them both. If one has to go out, might as well do it with all guns blazing. It beats fading away with a whimper.

Anyone remember the XFINITY or the Camping World Truck Series? If you do, and if you are 12 and younger, you get to go to all those races for free next season. What a wonderful way to introduce young fans to the sport. What a wonderful way of trying to get somebody to attend those races. Nobody else is. They do not really have much to lose. An empty seat buys nothing and appreciates nothing. This move is better than nothing.

This is the final year of the Sprint Cup. Soon, it will be parked in the garage alongside the Nextel Cup, the Winston Cup, and the Grand National and Strictly Stock monikers. I joked that the GoBowling.com 400 race in Kansas could have had a worse name, then one wag commented “Don’t diss SpongeBob. That might be next year’s Cup sponsor.” Good Lord, he might be right!

Heading into Michigan, here is a look at our QuikTrip, Auto Club, Food City, Bass Pro Shops, Coca-Cola, Bank of America, MyAFibStory.com, AAA, Ford EcoBoost, GoBowling.com, Hollywood Casino, Quaker State, Kobalt, STP, Goody’s, FireKeepers Casino, Pure Michigan, Camping World, Good Sam, Xalta, Toyota Owners, Federated Auto Parts, Save Mart, GEICO, Duck Commander, Cheez-It Hot 20.

Sadly, despite these name mentions, I get not a dime. I obviously need a foundation.
1. BRAD KESELOWSKI – 4 WINS (735 Pts)
So ends Kurt’s streak. Mission accomplished.

2. KYLE BUSCH – 4 WINS (674 Pts)
Last week Kyle’s car was dying. All Allgaier did was put it out of its misery.

3. KEVIN HARVICK – 2 WINS (762 Pts)
Not the most wins, but probably the best damn car week in and week out.

4. CARL EDWARDS – 2 WINS (689 Pts)
Having fun and thinking a third beer bath at Michigan is in order.

5. DENNY HAMLIN – 2 WINS (659 Pts)
Good finish last week and with the boss talking an extension, things are good for the Pied Piper.

6. JIMMIE JOHNSON – 2 WINS (612 Pts)
If the sticky stuff worked at Bristol, why not pine tar the rest of the tracks?

7. MATT KENSETH – 2 WINS (604 Pts)
Drive well, make the Chase, but be considered an old fart and one’s job could be in jeopardy.

8. KURT BUSCH – 1 WIN (692 Pts)
So, that is what a garage looks like.

9. JOEY LOGANO – 1 WIN (684 Pts)
Since with Penske, has never finished here outside the Top Ten…and won in the spring.

10. MARTIN TRUEX JR. – 1 WIN (630 Pts)
His crew chief is Canadian, eh?

11. TONY STEWART – 1 WIN (400 Pts)
Tony is a big fan of virtual reality. Nothing gets broken.

12. CHRIS BUESCHER – 1 WIN (328 Pts)
All of a sudden, he is feeling the love from Ford.

13. AUSTIN DILLON – 596 POINTS
A Top Five last Sunday was more than welcome.

14. CHASE ELLIOTT – 588 POINTS
If you are surprised he is where he is, say his name slowly. That was our first hint.

15. JAMIE MCMURRAY – 583 POINTS
At Darlington, he is wearing the former colors of an older Elliott.

16. RYAN NEWMAN – 576 POINTS
He does not need to make the Chase to keep his job. Who am I kidding? Damn right he does.

17. TREVOR BAYNE – 541 POINTS
Crew chief Matt Puccia has won twice before in Ford country…with Greg Biffle.

18. KYLE LARSON – 537 POINTS
Sunday sure sucked. Maybe it is time for that first career win.

19. KASEY KAHNE – 537 POINTS
With Danica buried deep, it appears NASCAR’s two prettiest will both miss the Chase.

20. A.J. ALLMENDINGER – 518 POINTS
Top Ten last Sunday, but needs a Top One this time out.

August 24, 2016
NASCAR Top-10 Power Rankings: Bristol

Note: The quotes in this article are fictional.

1. Kevin Harvick: Harvick took the win in the rain-delayed and rain-shortened Bass Pro Shops NRA Night Race at Bristol. Harvick passed Denny Hamlin for the lead, and the rain returned soon after.

“It took nearly 24 hours for me to claim the victory,” Harvick said. “That’s what’s called ‘weathering the storm.’ Afterward, I was showered with adulation. And this win, my second of the season, has ‘whet’ my appetite for more. And that, my friends, is the end of my watered down plays on words.”

2. Brad Keselowski: Keselowski’s No. 2 Penske Ford was collected in a wreck on lap 374 when Kurt Busch got loose and started a chain reaction wreck. Keselowski finished 33rd.

“Kurt Busch took full responsibility,” Keselowski said, “but only for avenging his brother Kyle after I wrecked him on Friday night.”

3. Kyle Busch: Busch dominated the early and middle portions of Sunday’s race at Bristol before a malfunction sent him spinning up the track, and subsequently rammed by the No. 46 car of Justin Allgaier. The damaged ended Busch’s day, and he finished 39th.

“I called Allgaier and his spotter ‘morons,’” Busch said. “They were accused of incompetence. I was accused of being understated.”

4. Denny Hamlin: Hamlin led 19 laps at Bristol and finished third, posting his eighth top-five finish of the year. He is seventh in the Sprint Cup points standings, 103 out of first.

“I didn’t get the win,” Hamlin said, “but I’m certainly pleased with a third-place finish. Championships have been built on the strength of top-five finishes, so I’m happy to leave on that note. And, with all the rain we saw in Bristol, I’m riding on a wave of momentum.”

5. Joey Logano: Logano finished 10th at Bristol, scoring his ninth top-10 finish in the last 11 races.

“The Bristol race was jointly sponsored by Bass Pro Shops and the National Rifle Association,” Logano said. “Can you believe it? It’s a tale of water and guns that even an American Olympian in Brazil couldn’t make up.”

6. Kurt Busch: Busch was battling for the lead on lap 374 when he got loose and spun, collecting and damaging several cars, including those of Brad Keselowski, Matt Kenseth, Jimmie Johnson, and Chase Elliott. Busch finished 38th.

“I took full blame for the accident,” Busch said, “which is always difficult, because, in the Busch family, we make it a habit of not taking responsibility for our actions.”

7. Carl Edwards: Edwards started on the pole for the fifth time this season and finished sixth in the Bass Pro Shops NRA Night Race at Bristol, which, due to rain, was run on Sunday.

“They call me ‘Mr. Pole,’” Edwards said. “And by ‘they’ I don’t mean any of my ex-girlfriends. By ‘they,’ I mean the good folks over at Bass Pro Shops. They know poles. As for the National Rifle Association, they have a nickname for me as well. I win a lot of poles, but I don’t win them all. That’s why the NRA calls me ‘Semi-Automatic’ in qualifying.”

8. Martin Truex Jr.: Truex finished 23rd at Bristol, and is now eighth in the points standings, 123 out of first.

“As you know,” Truex said, “Furniture Row Racing moved from Chevy power to Toyota to start the 2016 season. Not that we’d forget, but all the rain at Bristol reminded us that we’re under the Toyota/Joe Gibbs Racing umbrella.”

9. Jimmie Johnson: Johnson bounced back from a 40th-place finish at Watkins Glen with a seventh at Bristol. He is ninth in the points standings, 150 out of first.

“Weather definitely was a factor at Bristol,” Johnson said. “It reminded me a lot of the time after my six straight Sprint Cup championship when everyone was asking. ‘Who’ll stop the reign?’”

10. Austin Dillon: Dillon raced to a fourth-place finish at Bristol, earning his fourth top five of the season. He moved up two places to 11th in the Sprint Cup points standings.

“I think fans were happy to see the No. 3 car do well at Bristol,” Dillon said. “Personally, I felt empowered driving the car made famous by Dale Earnhardt. The only thing that could have my day better would have been putting the No. 3 into Victory Lane, or putting the No. 5 car into the wall. No offense to Terry Labonte.”

August 23, 2016
The Final Word – Bristol, where good news mixed with bad, and it rained on everyone’s parade

Good tidings we bring to you and your kin.

Sounds like a song. Sounds like a song we can wait four months to hear. However, Bristol did bring good tidings to some. It was great for Kevin Harvick, as he won his second of the season in a dominant performance to once again vault ahead of them all in points. While wins determine who is ahead of whom, as it should, accumulated points is an indicator as to who has been in contention all season long. Harvick has been one of those guys.

Good tidings for Chris Buescher. It is amazing how good a guy can get with a little incentive, like a win at Pocono and a shot at the Chase. The 23-year-old might just be 30th in points, but by moving 13 points ahead of David Ragan in the standings his win is activated and he now finds himself ranked 12th among those with post-season aspirations. A bad day at Michigan could change all that, but as for now, all is good after his fifth place result at Bristol.

Good tidings for Austin Dillon, trying to keep within the Chase despite having no victories. Fourth at Bristol really helped the cause. Same with Jamie McMurray’s Top Ten, while 15th did not hurt Chase Elliott’s cause much, either. Ryan Newman was 28th, which was not good, but he remains 35 points up on Trevor Bayne, which certainly is.

Not so good for Bayne, of course. Twelfth on Sunday was fine, it helped him close up on Newman by 15 points. Unfortunately, he has only Michigan, Darlington, and Richmond remaining to move up via points at a time when a win might be the way to go. I guess he can always hope Buescher has some bad tidings, drops below 30th, which would pop Bayne back into a Chase place. Such bad thoughts, and so close to Christmas.

Imagine getting your way paid to the Bristol Saturday night event as a gift, only to have the rain wash all those good tidings away. Rain Saturday night. Rain Sunday morning. With so much rain, it is ironic that the stands looked like a seat desert, with an oasis of real live fans visible here and there. It would appear that a lot of fans had their weekend plans totally screwed.

Both Kurt and Kyle Busch crashed out, as did Matt Kenseth. Newman, Kyle Larson, Tony Stewart, Brad Keselowski, and Ryan Blaney might have been moving at the end, but all were sitting 24th and worse running five or more laps off the pace by that time. Bad tidings indeed.

Next up is Michigan, where Jeff Gordon returns to retirement for at least one event. Still, we have to wait until later in the week to see if Dale Earnhardt Jr. is ready to return from his medical leave. Do you know Junior still has more points than Greg Biffle, Danica Patrick, and Clint Bowyer? Yet, any one of them would be Chase bound with a win on Sunday.

Christmas could still arrive early for somebody.

August 22, 2016
Hot 20 – If you think racing at Bristol will be tough, you should have been on Moose Mountain

It was an off-week for NASCAR, but racing continued where I sit. At least, sitting would have been nice. Last weekend, my son John ran a 54-mile mountain terrain ultra-marathon. In following the action, I found myself walking up a half-mile dusty road with an uninterrupted 20-plus degree angle climb with a chest cold and a hacking cough. I do not believe a single bear remains on that mountain after the commotion I was making. By the way, the boy came through in far better shape than his father did. This weekend, my other son Ronald is running a marathon. I plan to sit.

Sitting before the big screen watching the action from Bristol Saturday night is definitely in the cards. Dale Earnhardt Jr. continues to sit as he waits for his concussion symptoms to run their course. Jeff Gordon gets to continue his second farewell tour, while we await Chris Buescher passing David Ragan in the standings to make his Pocono win count in the standings. Should that happen, and there is no guarantee that it will, Kyle Larson would fall from a place in the Chase to 30 points out. Then it would come down to everyone outside pretty much requiring a win to make the post-season derby.

Bristol is one of those tracks where you do not need much background info in order to simply enjoy the action. However, there are three storylines to follow. We will watch the duel between Buescher and Ragan. We will see if Ryan Newman, Chase Elliott, Austin Dillon, and Jamie McMurray can avoid disaster. Finally, we will be watching for who wins.

Usually, the fans are the big winners at Bristol. While on Sunday, I plan to stand on flat ground to watch my son race in the morning, the night before, my goal is to sit on my fat ass to watch the boys and girl perform in Tennessee. Now, that is a plan of inaction to stick to.

Here are our Hot 20 heading to Bristol.

1. BRAD KESELOWSKI – 4 WINS (727 Pts)
In NASCAR, “Sorry” is just another way of saying “Don’t kick my ass.”

2. KYLE BUSCH – 4 WINS (670 Pts)
This is a race that is destined to be won by a Busch brother, a Gibbs driver, or both.

3. CARL EDWARDS – 2 WINS (653 Pts)
Edwards could be that Gibbs driver. Would need to change name to Karl to be a Busch.

4. DENNY HAMLIN – 2 WINS (620 Pts)
Burnouts are fine. Tear ups are not. Just a reminder.

5. MATT KENSETH – 2 WINS (600 Pts)
Four of the top five belong to the Coach. Two years before room has to be made for Erik Jones.

6. JIMMIE JOHNSON – 2 WINS (578 Pts)
Crew Chief Chad Knaus says things will be just fine, and Knaus knows stuff.

7. KEVIN HARVICK – 1 WIN (718 Pts)
Jimmy Buffett was not wasting away at Margaritaville, he was hanging with Harv.

8. KURT BUSCH – 1 WIN (689 Pts)
Set rookie truck record with four wins in 2000. William Byron has beat that driving for Kyle.

9. JOEY LOGANO – 1 WIN (652 Pts)
Winner of last two Saturday night Bristol races looked a whole lot like this guy.

10. MARTIN TRUEX JR. – 1 WIN (612 Pts)
Will be driving for the Mile High outfit for an additional two years.

11. TONY STEWART – 1 WIN (389 Pts)
One final helmet toss at Kenseth for old time’s sake?

12. RYAN NEWMAN – 562 POINTS
With a contract running out and the owner’s grandson ready to go, this Rocket needs to liftoff.

13. CHASE ELLIOTT – 561 POINTS
The only excuse you’ll get from Chase is if you ask him “why don’t you make excuses?”

14. AUSTIN DILLON – 559 POINTS
Took the free time to fulfill an engagement.

15. JAMIE MCMURRAY – 550 POINTS
Fishing for a Chase place, fishing in British Columbia with Dierks, Martin, and Clint.

16. KYLE LARSON – 520 POINTS
Was it the incident or was it A.J. that Kyle was calling “flat out stupid?”

17. TREVOR BAYNE – 512 POINTS
Bayne was in Ireland for a 70.3-mile Ironman race. Running I don’t get. Potato salad, I get.

18. KASEY KAHNE – 509 POINTS
It is good to have a couple of years left on a contract.

19. RYAN BLANEY – 502 POINTS
Iconic Wood Brothers ride will sport Virginia Tech colors on Saturday night.

20. A.J. ALLMENDINGER – 486 POINTS
Thought he was Ben Hur at Watkins Glen, and the drummer called for ramming speed.

30. DAVID RAGAN – 295 POINTS
Not surprising a NASCAR driver supports Trump. Hey, both believe walls are important.

31. CHRIS BUESCHER – 292 POINTS (1 W)
Sometimes the story of a race does not unfold near the front.

August 17, 2016
NASCAR Top-10 Power Rankings: Watkins Glen

Note: The quotes in this article are fictional.

1. Brad Keselowski: Keselowski started 12th and finished third after battling with Martin Truex Jr. on the final lap at Watkins Glen. Keselowski leads Sprint Cup points standings by nine over Kevin Harvick.

“I didn’t mean to spin Truex,” Keselowski said, “so I plan on apologizing to Martin in person in the near future. And, as you would expect for a personal apology to take place, you have to ‘make contact.’”

2. Kyle Busch: Busch finished sixth in the Cheez-It 355 At The Glen, posting his 15th top 10 of the year.

“Brad Keselowski and myself were battling so hard for the lead late in the race,” Busch said, “that we allowed Denny Hamlin to pass us both for the lead. Finally, something Brad and I can agree on.”

3. Kevin Harvick: Harvick’s day at Watkins Glen came to a halt six laps from the end when he was involved in a crash with Chris Buescher and David Ragan. Harvick finished 32nd

“The No. 4 Busch Chevrolet was fast,” Harvick said, “but I got collected in a crash that caused serious damage. So, instead of heading to the mountains of Busch, I headed straight to the garage.”

4. Denny Hamlin: Hamlin won the Cheez-It 355 At The Glen, holding off a hard-charging Martin Truex Jr. down the stretch.

“As you may recall,” Hamlin said, “I let Tony Stewart win at Sonoma’s road course earlier this season. That wasn’t going to happen at Watkins Glen, no matter how bad Tony needed a win. What I said to Tony is something someone should have said to him long ago—‘no free lunches.’”

5. Joey Logano: Logano finished second at Watkins Glen, one day after winning Saturday’s XFINITY Series race.

“I was so close to completing the weekend sweep,” Logano said. “Sadly, it wasn’t to be. I couldn’t bring the ‘broom,’ but I did bring the broom handle, which would be my skinny body. But I’ll put my abilities up against anyone in this sport. It just goes to show that you can be a heavyweight and a lightweight at the same time.”

6. Kurt Busch: Busch finished 11th in the Cheez-It 355, just missing out on his 17th top-10 finish of the year.

“Road course racing really tests your braking ability,” Busch said. “You have to know exactly how hard you can brake without causing a mechanical failure. I should know, because I’ve pushed hundreds of cars, and even more people, to the ‘braking’ point.”

7. Carl Edwards: Edwards started on the pole at Watkins Glen and led 25 laps on his way to a 15th in the Cheez-It 355.

“That’s two poles at road courses this season,” Edwards said. “That’s two more than wins I have at road course races this year. If you give me one lap to dominate on a road course, it most definitely won’t be the last lap.”

8. Martin Truex Jr.: Truex stalked Denny Hamlin over the closing laps at Watkins Glen before he was spun by Brad Keselowski. Truex finished eighth and is now eighth in the points standings,

“I was initially upset with Brad,” Truex said. “You could see that after the race. During the ‘cool down’ lap, I was hot, and Brad was ‘not cool.’

“But I later realized it was just what is known as a ‘racing incident.’ So, if I happen to wreck Brad sometime later this year, just chalk it up to ‘incidental’ contact.”

9. Jimmie Johnson: Johnson suffered a number of penalties before his day ended abruptly when he slammed into Ricky Stenhouse Jr.’s spinning No. 17 car in a lap 53 crash.

“It’s a day I’d like to forget,” Johnson said. “But I think it’s a really bad time to wish for ‘memory loss.’”

10. Tony Stewart: Stewart took fifth in the Cheez-It 355, posting his fifth top five of the season. Stewart is 26th in the points standings.

“There were ‘Cheez-It’ billboards all over the Watkins Glen complex,” Stewart said. “And ‘Cheez-It’ was all over Greg Biffle’s No. 16 car. So, like one would expect, a NASCAR race was full of ‘crackers.’”

August 9, 2016
Hot 20 – Watkins Glen runs on Sunday, so let the right hand turns begin

Left, left, left, and (if not at Pocono) a final left. That is usually how it goes each week in NASCAR. This week is one of those unusual ones. Eleven turns at Watkins Glen and seven of them are right. I think these road courses provide more exciting NASCAR races than some ovals, including Indianapolis. Let the arguing begin.

Some say that Chris Buescher’s win last week showed a weakness in the Chase format. I think it strengthens it. Winning is everything, and if that is so, then a regular should get his pass by simply winning. There are worse things, like not being a regular and winning races at lower divisions, but I digress.

No more Dale Earnhardt Jr. for at least another couple of weeks, while replacement Jeff Gordon reaches the 800 race milestone at Watkins Glen.

Kevin Harvick’s crew chief, Rodney Childers, returns after a week in the doghouse and $20,000 lighter for missing a lug nut at Indianapolis. It was a week where he needed dental work, a new windshield, and some twit did a little spin on his lawn. Oh, Harvick finished fourth at Pocono without him. Other than that, it was one hell of a week.

Kids. They are coming up in NASCAR, though at least a couple have to wait. One apparently fudged his birth date by a couple of years, another was thought eligible through something akin to a grandfather clause and additional insurance. Carson Hocevar won a Super Late Model race earlier this year in Michigan. Andrew Molleur won a recent SK Light Modified in Connecticut. Both lads are 13. Both are now parked by NASCAR. No question that the pair are good enough, but you need to be 14 to be old enough.

So, what to watch for this time out? Well, last week, a 24-year-old claimed the race and a four-year-old claimed some hearts. This week, one of them is racing to beat David Ragan and pick up points. If that happens, Kyle Larson’s Chase spot disappears like a fart in the wind, to use a most beloved phrase, and the boys outside will need to change focus and try to chase down Jamie McMurray. As for Kurt Busch, he will be out to run all 90 laps to keep his streak alive.

We already have Buescher in the picture. What if 2014 winner A.J. Allmendinger wins on Sunday? That would have some boys scrambling. This could be fun.

Our Hot 20 heading to Watkins Glen include…

1. BRAD KESELOWSKI – 4 WINS (687 Pts)
Buescher needed that win a lot more than Brad did.

2. KYLE BUSCH – 4 WINS (634 Pts)
Kids love him. He is Keelan Harvick’s favorite driver, William Byron’s favorite team owner.

3. CARL EDWARDS – 2 WINS (626 Pts)
Does fine at the Glen, but a win would be different.

4. JIMMIE JOHNSON – 2 WINS (577 Pts)
Sits high on the standings, was third at Indianapolis, yet basically has been “Jimmie Who?” lately.

5. MATT KENSETH – 2 WINS (569 Pts)
In the future, when asked to go cycling he probably will ask more questions, like “how far?”

6. KEVIN HARVICK – 1 WIN (709 Pts)
Once known as being a former NASCAR champion. Today, he is better known as Keelan’s dad.

7. KURT BUSCH – 1 WIN (658 Pts)
5811 laps have been completed this season, and Kurt is the only one to have completed them all.

8. JOEY LOGANO – 1 WIN (612 Pts)
For whom does the Chase troll? He trolls for thee.

9. MARTIN TRUEX JR. – 1 WIN (577 Pts)
Fresh rubber and still he ends up getting fresh with the fence.

10. DENNY HAMLIN – 1 WIN (576 Pts)
Second at Sonoma. Win at Watkins Glen?

11. TONY STEWART – 1 WIN (353 Pts)
Got word his insurer is not liable for covering costs of his defense in the Kevin Ward Jr. lawsuit.

12. AUSTIN DILLON – 549 POINTS
Still keeping Grandpa happy.

13. RYAN NEWMAN – 537 POINTS
Future would be more secure if Richard Childress adopted him.

14. CHASE ELLIOTT – 533 POINTS
Pocono does boast a wide track. Just not that wide.

15. JAMIE MCMURRAY – 517 POINTS
Could be the new bubble boy after Sunday.

16. KYLE LARSON – 508 POINTS
This Chase place disappears if Buescher gets the points.

17. KASEY KAHNE – 488 POINTS
Is within 20 points of making the Chase…or is it within 29?

18. TREVOR BAYNE – 480 POINTS
Be it 28 points, or 37 points, the lad has some work to do.

19. RYAN BLANEY – 480 POINTS
Ditto

20. RICKY STENHOUSE JR. – 472 POINTS
Made our list; Junior, Allmendinger, Biffle, Menard, Patrick, Bowyer, and Almirola did not.

30. DAVID RAGAN – 287 POINTS
Sometimes 30th matters.

31. CHRIS BUESCHER – 281 POINTS (1 Win)
Talk about incentive.

August 3, 2016
NASCAR Top-10 Power Rankings: Pocono

Note: The quotes in this article are fictional.

1. Brad Keselowski: Keselowski finished second in the rain-delayed and rain-shortened Pennsylvania 400 at Pocono as Chris Buescher took the unlikely win.

“It was an unlikely win by Buescher,” Keselowski said. “And I was the ‘unlikeliest,’ because no one ‘unliked’ it more than me since I finished second.”

2. Kyle Busch: Busch led one lap and finished ninth at Pocono, posting his 14th top 10 of the year.

“This day was all about Chris Buescher,” Busch said. “I’m not sure he realizes the magnitude of his victory. Despite the rain, it’s still going to take a while to soak in.”

3. Kevin Harvick: Harvick came home fourth in the rain-shortened Pennsylvania 400, recording his ninth top-five result of the year.

“I was without my crew chief Rodney Childers,” Harvick said. “He was suspended for the race for a lug nut violation. The lug nut issue wasn’t a big deal until Tony Stewart made it one. So, that’s just one more thing that Tony will get blamed for, and I hold him responsible for damages. Whether or not he accepts blame is another question entirely.”

4. Joey Logano: Logano was wrecked by Chase Elliott when Elliott got loose in the Tunnel Turn and collected Logano’s No. 22 Penske Racing Ford. Logano finished 37th, 23 laps off the pace.

“I never thought I’d be wrecked by Chase Elliott,” Logano said. “But, if you get dangerously close to a certain rookie, driver, I suppose you become ‘Chase eligible.’”

5. Kurt Busch: Busch finished 10th at Pocono, one spot behind younger brother Kyle, in Monday’s Pennsylvania 400.

“I’m not exactly sure if anyone knows how to pronounce ‘Buescher,’” Busch said. “Luckily, we’ll only have to say it once, because this is probably the last you’ll hear of him.”

6. Carl Edwards: Edwards finished eighth at Pocono, as Joe Gibbs Racing placed three cars in the top 10.

“This may be the greatest upset in NASCAR history,” Edwards said. “Buescher is a 22-year-old rookie who just outsmarted a field comprised mostly of veterans to pull off an unlikely win. Often, the outcome at Pocono is decided by fuel mileage. This year, it was all about suspension, because Buescher’s win was a ‘shock.’”

7. Martin Truex Jr.: Truex started from the pole at Pocono and saw his day sour early when he blew a tire and hit the wall on lap 20.

“Chris Buescher has the weather to thank for the win,” Truex said. “Ironically, it still rained on his parade.”

8. Jimmie Johnson: Johnson finished 16th at Pocono and has now gone 16 races since his last win.

“That means Chris Buescher has more wins this year than me,” Johnson said, “as well as the same number of championships as me in the last five years. But luckily, I have six Sprint Cup championships to fall back on. Ironically, no one’s talked about the ‘Fall Of Jimmie Johnson’ since my last championship in autumn of 2010.”

9. Denny Hamlin: Hamlin finished seventh at Pocono as rookie Chris Buescher won his first career Sprint Cup win.

“Buescher may have just driven himself into the Chase,” Hamlin said. “More than likely, though, this may be his one moment of glory. But let’s face it. He had lots of help, like rain and the onset of darkness. So, if he wants to thank his ‘family,’ he should thank Mother Nature and Father Time.”

10. Chris Buescher: Buescher won the Pennsylvania 400 by holding off on a pit stop as weather approached. NASCAR called the race with 22 laps remaining, giving Buescher his first Sprint Cup victory.

“I have to thank the rain,” Buescher said, “as well as each and every cloud in the Pennsylvania sky, particularly Cloud 9, which is the one I’m on.”

August 3, 2016
Hot 20 – Pocono, where some things just do not matter

As the boys and girl venture to Pocono for their second visit to the venue in 56 days, there are some things that matter and some that do not. Dale Earnhardt Jr.’s recovery from his concussion issues matters, him making the Chase does not in comparison. Kevin Harvick is missing his crew chief after some lug nuts went AWOL at Indianapolis. With a win and the points lead, it does not matter.

XFINITY races do not matter, but they matter enough to Brad Keselowski to head out to Iowa to be the lone Cup representative. Camping World truck racing does not matter, it appears, in the land of hockey, curling, and Don Cherry. Danica Patrick matters to women, to sponsors, and to folks who just like attractive people, but buried once again 24th in the standings despite some good equipment, she does not matter on the track.

Pocono matters to Kasey Kahne, Trevor Bayne, and Ryan Blaney if they wish to keep their Chase hopes viable. It matters to Jamie McMurray and Kyle Larson, who do not want themselves finishing behind that trio to find their own positions threatened.

Live event attendance does not matter, as only 50,000 bothered to turn out to the Brickyard last weekend. It still might matter for those at home, as it seems NBC was pleased with its ratings. Imagine the savings if pro sport venues did not have to put in seating, concessions, or parking, as we all watched the action from our living rooms. Many of us are already doing that. You would think that would matter enough to some.

To that end, I have my own concession, private washroom facilities, a comfortable chair, a big screen television, my remote control, and our Hot 20 going into Pocono. What more do I need?

1. BRAD KESELOWSKI – 4 WINS (647 Pts)
Watkins Glen testing crash appears to have knocked Cup’s big dog all the way to Iowa.

2. KYLE BUSCH – 4 WINS (601 Pts)
Best damn driver in NASCAR today…and Keelan Harvick would agree.

3. CARL EDWARDS – 2 WINS (593 Pts)
It can be fun to chase your car up the hill, except when other drivers catch it first.

4. JIMMIE JOHNSON – 2 WINS (552 Pts)
#2 in merchandise sales. You know who is #1.

5. MATT KENSETH – 2 WINS (545 Pts)
Top five are locked into the Chase.

6. KEVIN HARVICK – 1 WIN (671 Pts)
No lug nuts, no crew chief. It appears that is how NASCAR rolls.

7. KURT BUSCH – 1 WIN (627 Pts)
Shares record for running every lap for opening 20 races of a season. Pocono would be 21.

8. JOEY LOGANO – 1 WIN (606 Pts)
Some say maturity is the biggest reason Kyle is where he is today. There may be hope for Joey.

9. MARTIN TRUEX JR. – 1 WIN (573 Pts)
The last three winners at Pocono are Kurt, Matt, and this guy.

10. DENNY HAMLIN – 1 WIN (542 Pts)
Lending his support to West Virginia, the land of coal and way too much water.

11. TONY STEWART – 1 WIN (317 Pts)
Will he and Jeff Gordon take another final lap around Pocono, too?

12. CHASE ELLIOTT – 525 PTS
Some claim he is experiencing rookie growing pains. If he is, I think he can tough it out.

13. AUSTIN DILLON – 520 PTS
If GM Goodwrench would only come back, my NASCAR jacket would again be contemporary.

14. RYAN NEWMAN – 507 PTS
Secret to success at Pocono? Stay the hell away from Edwards.

15. JAMIE MCMURRAY – 496 PTS
I have been blamed for driving at Indianapolis. No, that was Jamie in the No. 1 in overtime.

16. KYLE LARSON – 472 PTS
Target leaving IndyCar, though Larson’s sponsorship good through 2017.

17. KASEY KAHNE – 462 PTS
38 major brands backed NASCAR drivers at Indianapolis…but All-State is not among them.

18. DALE EARNHARDT JR. – 461 PTS
It is going to take time to return, it is going to take a win to make the Chase…if there is time.

19. TREVOR BAYNE – 458 PTS
No more room for error or misadventure. The time is now.

20. RYAN BLANEY – 450 PTS
Also said to be experiencing rookie growing pains. Okay, he might need some relief.

July 27, 2016
NASCAR Top-10 Power Rankings: Indianapolis

Note: The quotes in this article are fictional.

1. Brad Keselowski: Keselowski was collected in a lap 154 crash started when Carl Edwards got loose on a restart. Keselowski was able to stay on the lead lap, however, and finished 17th.

“That accident was about the only excitement on Sunday,” Keselowski said. “I doubt the presence of ‘Mr. Excitement’ himself, Jimmy Spencer, could have improved things unless Kurt Busch’s face could also have been present.

“It was brutally hot during the race. I heard there were several fans overcome by heat, and even more overcome by sheer boredom.”

2. Kyle Busch: Busch started on the pole at Indianapolis and led 149 of 170 laps in winning the Combat Wounded Coalition 400. It was Busch’s third win of the season.

“The No. 18 Skittles Toyota was fast,” Busch said. “My opponents couldn’t see the rainbow, much less taste it.”

3. Kevin Harvick: Harvick finished sixth at Indianapolis, recording his 15th top 10 of the year. He leads the Sprint Cup points standings by 14 over Brad Keselowski.

“It was a bittersweet day for me,” Harvick said. “I had a great result, but Tony Stewart took his final lap around Indianapolis Motor Speedway. Fittingly, Tony puts the ‘round’ in ‘last go-round.’”

4. Joey Logano: Logano finished seventh at Indianapolis, posting his 12th top 10 of the year.

“It was a hot day at the Brickyard,” Logano said. “It was sweltering. Temperatures were approaching the hundreds, as was attendance.”

5. Kurt Busch: Busch finished 16th at Indianapolis as younger brother Kyle won for the second straight year.

“Kyle has won the last two Sprint Cup races at Indianapolis,” Busch said, “and he also won Saturday’s XFINITY race at the Brickyard. He’s made it a habit of kissing the bricks. I don’t know what it’s like to kiss a brick, but my girlfriends do.

6. Carl Edwards: Edwards got loose and slammed the wall on lap 154, taking out several cars in the process, and damaging his No. 19 Stanley Tools Toyota beyond repair. He finished 35th.

“That accident was my fault,” Edwards said. “Of course, this isn’t the first time a prominent driver of the No. 19 has pleaded guilty. In my defense, though, I’m not doing meth.”

7. Martin Truex Jr.: Truex finished eighth in the Combat Wounded Coalition 400, scoring his ninth top 10 of the year.

“I recently visited Furniture Row warehouse facilities,” Truex said, “and it reminded me of the grandstands at Indianapolis because there was nothing but empty seats.”

8. Jimmie Johnson: Johnson overcame a pit road speeding penalty and finished third at Indianapolis, posting his first top-five finish in the last eight races.

“I got caught going faster than the law allows,” Johnson said. “That sounds like a quote from Kyle Busch.

“Jeff Gordon filled in for Dale Earnhardt Jr. and did a mighty fine job. It was strange seeing Jeff in the No. 88 car. That’s because it’s strange seeing a Sprint Cup champion in the No. 88 car.”

9. Matt Kenseth: Kenseth finished second in the Combat Wounded Coalition 400, as Joe Gibbs Racing drivers captured three of the top four positions.

“It was a great day for JGR,” Kenseth said, “and Japanese engine-makers. I think the Fords and Chevys knew they couldn’t compete, and they weren’t sure why. That left them ‘dis-Oriented.’

10. Denny Hamlin: Denny Hamlin finished third at Indianapolis, joining Joe Gibbs Racing teammates Kyle Busch and Matt Kenseth in the top four.

“My good friend Tony Stewart said it was special taking one last lap around Indy with Jeff Gordon after the checkered flew,” Hamlin said. “And their embrace afterwards was equally as special. I think everyone who hugs Tony would agree on two things: 1) it is special, and 2) there’s no way I can wrap my arms all the way around Tony.”

July 27, 2016
The Final Word – Welcome to Indianapolis, welcome to Kyle’s world

It was the Brickyard 400, presented by Kyle Busch. He led the first lap, he led the last one and led most of the laps in between. If the focal point of a race is at the front, if the drama of a race is to see who is leading the way, this competition was pretty much done when they waved the green flag. In short, Busch kicked their combined asses to take his fourth of the season, the 38th of his career, and his second consecutive Brickyard.

Oh, Kyle also won Saturday’s junior circuit race. 38 Cup wins, 83 junior wins, 45 truck wins (albeit in a series no longer broadcast to Canada), 166 victories in all. Man, that looks impressive, until you remember that all but five of them were claimed after he became a full-time major leaguer. That’s 123 wins against minor-league opposition, almost all on the same weekends and the same tracks the big boys (and girls) ran. That begs the question, just what in the hell is the point to the XFINITY and Camping World Truck series? If the inclusion of Cup guys is to draw out fans to see the spectacle of the top dogs slumming, it sure is not working. I believe there were more folks working the various concessions than were in the grandstands at Indianapolis. It was downright embarrassing. Still, I guess there are some who do not mind being embarrassed, while at the same time the vast majority of us are allowed to do other things with our Friday and Saturday afternoons.

By the way, Daniel Suarez, Elliott Sadler, Ty Dillon, Justin Allgaier, and Erik Jones are the top five guys in the XFINITY series at present. They have a combined four wins between them in 18 events. Kyle Busch has won seven in 11 starts. Watching those who dream of moving up and those wrapping up their careers in moving down, play second fiddle every damn week to the moonlighters from the Show, is obviously no longer of interest for a vast majority of us. Good Lord. So ends my sermon. Amen.

Sunday brought us the final appearances at the venue of Tony Stewart and, as it turned out, Jeff Gordon once again. The FOX announcer suspended his brief retirement to substitute for the ailing Dale Earnhardt Jr. for a couple of races, finishing 13th while Stewart came home two spots better. The Columbus, Indiana native made one hell of a move on that opening lap to move into second. I wonder if Kyle saw it in his rear view mirror?

Due to his absence, Junior drops out of a Chase place. Kyle Larson is 11 points ahead, with even Kasey Kahne sitting a point ahead of Earnhardt, who now is 18th in the derby. Jamie McMurray got a piece of the late race troubles, winding up 19th but remains 26 points to the good in 15th place. A quartet who have drifted almost out of touch were Trevor Bayne (30th), Ryan Blaney (36th), A.J. Allmendinger (38th), and Greg Biffle (39th). Not a good day to experience bad tidings.

As a television event, it was not bad. The final dozen laps were downright exciting, as wrecks often are. Too bad it was a one horse pony show. Too bad only 50,000 folks, according to one news source, bothered to turn out to this “crown jewel” NASCAR event. Compare that to the 300,000 who took in the Indianapolis 500 in May. Just imagine how many, or few, took in Saturday’s preliminary contest.

Next Sunday, it is the triangle known as Pocono. Gordon leads the way with six career wins there, so a seventh would be a nice way to go out one more time. He was third last year. A dozen others on this weekend’s grid all have shared the winning experience there at this two-race venue. Biffle and Kahne could use another one about now.

As for Kyle Busch, he is 0 for 23 at Pocono, with a pair of runner-up finishes. He was 31st in June. I should mention that brother Kurt Busch has three wins, so if any ole Busch will do, you might be in luck. Back in June, both Chase Elliott and Matt Kenseth ran strong, but it was Kurt who led the final 32 laps for the victory.

Now, if Kurt is not your boy, I have sad news. With the XFINITY series running Saturday in Iowa, Kyle might not be running. I am truly sorry.

July 25, 2016