Testing SpeedwayMedia.com

Tag: Kurt Busch

NASCAR Top-10 Power Rankings: Dover

Note: The quotes in this article are fictional.

1. Kyle Busch: Busch was one of many cars damaged on a lap 352 restart when Jimmie Johnson’s car got locked in second gear, causing a major incident that took out a number of contenders.

“There was a time,” Busch said, “that when you mentioned ’18-car crash,’ people thought you were talking about just me.”

2. Kevin Harvick: Harvick led a race-high 117 laps at Dover but was a victim of a huge pileup with 47 laps to go triggered by Jimmie Johnson’s slow car. Harvick finished 15th, one lap down.

“Once again,” Harvick said, “I had the strongest car in the field but didn’t win the race. Carl Edwards would call that ‘choking.’”

3. Kurt Busch: Busch finished fifth at Dover, one of only fourteen cars on the lead lap at race’s end. He is third in the points standings, 32 out of first.

“There are rumors that my Stewart-Haas Racing teammate Kevin Harvick has an offer to join Hendrick Motorsports,” Busch said. “He would presumably replace Kasey Kahne, who’s under contract through the 2018 season. That means Kahne’s contract would have to be bought out in order for Harvick to join HMS. So, once again, I’m reporting that an acquaintance of mine is a ‘contract killer.’”

4. Carl Edwards: Edwards led 27 laps at Dover before late contact with Kyle Larson’s No. 42 car sent Edwards’ No. 19 Toyota into the wall. Edwards finished 28th, 41 laps off the pace.

“I think most drivers were impressed by the way Larson raced Matt Kenseth in the closing laps,” Edwards said. “But there’s no way anyone was more impressed by Larson’s patience than Kenseth.”

5. Brad Keselowski: Keselowski led 49 laps and survived contact with Austin Dillon’s No. 3 car to post a sixth in the AAA 400, his seventh top-10 result of the year.

“I advocated making some slight adjustments to the Chase format,” Keselowski said. “NASCAR officials didn’t want to hear it, though. I guess they had enough talk of ‘tweaking’ when Jeremy Mayfield was driving.”

6. Jimmie Johnson: On a restart with 47 laps to go, Johnson’s No. 48 Chevrolet locked gears, leading to a chain reaction crash behind him that affected 18 cars. Johnson limped home with a 25th at Dover.

“I’m not sure what went wrong,” Johnson said. “All I know is instead of ‘Six-time,’ guys in the garage were calling me ‘Fix-time.’”

7. Joey Logano: Like many, Logano’s No. 22 Penske Ford was caught in the restart accident with 47 laps to go, resulting in a 22nd-place finish.

“As was the case last fall at Martinsville,” Logano said, “I got wrecked and Matt Kenseth came out the winner.”

8. Chase Elliott: Elliott finished third at Dover, scoring his third consecutive top 10 and again leading the charge for Hendrick Motorsports. He is seventh in the Sprint Cup points standings, 77 out of first.

“I’m not surprised at all I’m doing so well,” Elliott said. “I would say, ‘It’s no accident,’ but that may be considered a poor choice of words considering what happened to the rest of the HMS crew.”

9. Martin Truex Jr.: Truex’s misfortune continued at Dover, as his No. 78 Furniture Row Toyota was damaged in the big wreck with 47 laps to go. Despite the damage, Truex scrambled to salvage a ninth-place finish and is now ninth in the points standings, 82 out of first.

“This team is cursed,” Truex said. “This team is also cursing, because we are sick and tired of our bad luck. It’s too bad NASCAR outlawed cigarette manufacturers from sponsorships because we would definitely want Lucky Strike on our car.”

10. Matt Kenseth: Kenseth won the AAA 400 at Dover, avoiding a huge crash that wiped out much of the field and holding off Kyle Larson for the win.

“I knew Larson was coming for me,” Kenseth said. “You could say ‘I had a Target on my back.’

“But I admire Kyle’s integrity in racing me clean for the win. Just ask Kyle Busch—there’s a fine line between racing a JGR driver like a gentlemen and racing a JGR driver like a teammate.”

May 17, 2016
Hot 20 – Hot topics heading to Dover include team penalties and places to pee, I kid you not

As the boys and girl drive in Delaware this weekend, not everyone gets to go. Kyle Busch, for example, will not have the benefit of his crew chief until the All-Star race. Adam Stevens got sent to exile island along with front tire changer Josh Leslie, and docked $20,000, for a post-race lug nut infraction. NASCAR wants five on, and they must stay on until the race is over and the car no longer is being eye-balled by those who must be obeyed. It appears they really mean it.

Romain Grosjean is a Swiss-born Formula One driver with 88 starts heading into the Spanish Grand Prix this weekend. He has two runner-up finishes in his career and ten podiums, including a run of five straight near the end of 2013. Grosjean also drives for Gene Haas, the guy who is Tony Stewart’s partner in NASCAR. He would like to race a big heavy beast of a car with fenders, and some think that could happen in time for Watkins Glen. I said could, not would.

If he does, it will be on a nice smooth freshly paved track. Kevin Harvick, Joey Logano, Carl Edwards, Kasey Kahne and Trevor Bayne did tire tests there this week, and they all seem to like the results. We will see how much they like it in August.

Finally, there is the continuing saga about North Carolina washrooms, where the Governor signed into law a bill saying that the equipment one’s birth certificate attributes to them determines which washroom they can use. This applies to facilities in government offices, universities and road-side rest stops. Some believe NASCAR, which is a huge presence in the state, should take a stand against this law as it discriminates against transgenders. Actually, there are a host of solutions available.

All single-stall facilities should be unisex, just insist all pee where they should pee. Set aside some single stall rooms for those who require a bit more privacy for whatever reason. Set aside facilities marked men, women, and could not care less. Ask any woman in a long lineup if she would jump at the chance to go into the men’s room, any damn room, to seek relief, and many would have no problem with a unisex solution if it might speed things up. In public facilities, the public area can be monitored to ensure security, while it would not matter what equipment is being used to perform the task in the privacy of the stalls. Any arguments?

Of course, when I started this column, I never thought there would be a day when I would be writing about penalties, paving, pee, and poop. Welcome to the new NASCAR.

Now, back to business…and not THAT kind of business. Here are our Hot 20 heading to Dover…

1. KYLE BUSCH – 3 WINS – 386 PTS
If he ends May with a win and starts June the same way, he will have run the table.

2. CARL EDWARDS – 2 WINS – 367 PTS
Carl is to athleticism and fitness what I am to lethargy and slothfulness. We each have our roll to play.

3. JIMMIE JOHNSON – 2 WINS – 353 PTS
Already has 10 Miles the Monster trophies on the shelf.

4. BRAD KESELOWSKI – 2 WINS – 332 PTS
Scarlett has her first birthday next week. Some things are more important than racing.

5. KEVIN HARVICK – 1 WIN – 390 PTS
New South Carolina home will have a view of a swamp. Well, to each their own.

6. DENNY HAMLIN – 1 WIN – 273 PTS
He saw the hole, attempted the split, then lo and behold, it all went for…

7. KURT BUSCH – 350 PTS
The Busch brothers have a combined three wins between them this season. Yes, I’m a jerk.

8. JOEY LOGANO – 320 PTS
Buried the hatchet with Kenseth, but didn’t Lizzie Borden do the same with her parents?

9. AUSTIN DILLON – 307 PTS
The first of what will soon enough become another talented brother act is doing just fine.

10. DALE EARNHARDT JR. – 305 PTS
Before there was Teresa, there was Kerry, Kelley, and Dale Jr. born to the Earnhardt name.

11. CHASE ELLIOTT – 303 PTS
The kid has finished seven of 11 this season in the Top Ten.

12. MARTIN TRUEX JR. – 303 PTS
Okay, this time for sure.

13. JAMIE MCMURRAY – 276 PTS
Coming off his worst finish (26th) of the season just after having his best (4th) at Talladega.

14. MATT KENSETH – 269 PTS
Fourth place at Kansas was sweet, but seeing Logano finish 38th had to have been even sweeter.

15. A.J. ALLMENDINGER – 265 PTS
Finished eighth last week, yet dropped a spot.

16. RYAN BLANEY – 255 PTS
His weekend was much, much better than the one experienced by his dad.

17. RYAN NEWMAN – 253 PTS
Making the Chase could be imperative if he wishes to avoid falling victim to the Ty that binds.

18. KASEY KAHNE – 249 PTS
Spends way too much time outside the Top 15 than inside, and that has got to change.

19. RICKY STENHOUSE JR. – 246 PTS
New commercial has the boys over for Sunny D, though hostess is not who you would expect.

20. TREVOR BAYNE – 244 PTS
When Mark Martin drove the car, Viagra seemed an appropriate sponsor. Bayne? Not so much.

May 11, 2016
NASCAR Top-10 Power Rankings: Kansas

Note: The quotes in this article are fictional.

1. Kyle Busch: Busch held off Kevin Harvick down the stretch to win the GoBowling,com 400 at Kansas. Busch is second in the Sprint Cup points standings, four behind Harvick.

“Harvick got right on my bumper,” Busch said, “and I thought for sure he’d bump me to get by. But he didn’t. Of course, everybody, Landon Cassill included, knows that Harvick is a man of great integrity. He would never wreck someone just so he could win a race. He would, however, wreck someone just so he could advance to the next round of the Chase.”

2. Kevin Harvick: Harvick was strong late at Kansas and nearly overtook Kyle Busch for the lead, but ultimately settled for second.

“I hit a piece of debris and damaged the splitter,” Harvick said. “Otherwise, I would have passed Busch easily. So, you could say that ‘piece of trash’ won.”

3. Carl Edwards: Edwards tagged the wall early in the GoBowling.com 400, causing a flat tire that ultimately cost him two laps. But the No. 19 Stanley Tools team recovered to finish 11th. Edwards is third in the points standings, 23 out of first.

“I indeed hit the wall,” Edwards said, “but the damage was not severe. That’s a testament to the great engineering that goes into making these walls safe. So, while I can’t expect Kyle Busch to be, I can certainly expect walls to be ‘forgiving.’”

4. Brad Keselowski: Keselowski took 10th at Kansas, surviving a spin with 26 laps to go to post his sixth top 10 finish of the year.

“I got loose racing with Denny Hamlin,” Keselowski said. “Interestingly enough, there was no contact between us. That’s certainly not the first time Hamlin and I have looked at each other ‘sideways.’”

5. Jimmie Johnson: Johnson finished 17th at Kansas, his day sidetracked by a late pit road speeding penalty that cost him crucial track position.

“Track position was everything at Kansas,” Johnson said. “If you didn’t already know, ‘track position’ is NASCAR code for ‘it’s impossible to pass.’ That’s why you saw so many pit road speeding penalties. That’s where the action is. And that’s why, when you ask a driver about racing at Kansas, they always say, ‘It’s the pits.’”

6. Kurt Busch: Busch finished third in the GoBowling.com 400, recording his third top-five result of the year.

“Kansas Motor Speedway had a special booth set up where fans could buy a bowling ball and have finger holes drilled to their exact specifications,” Busch said. “They also had televisions broadcasting the race so fans wouldn’t miss a single minute. So, if you asked anyone what was going on in that booth or the race track, they’d tell you the same thing: ‘It’s boring.’”

7. Joey Logano: Logano slammed into Denny Hamlin’s No. 11 Toyota after Hamlin and Brad Keselowski got loose in a lap 221 incident. The wreck sent the No. 22 Penske Ford to the garage and Logano finished 38th.

“Matt Kenseth and I spoke before the Kansas race,” Logano said, “and came to some sort of mutual understanding about our past issues. But it’s a tenuous peace treaty. We weren’t quite ready to shake hands, so instead, we just shook fists.”

8. Dale Earnhardt Jr.: Earnhardt finished 15th at Kansas on a tough day for Hendrick Motorsports, which placed only one car in the top 10.

“My stepmother Teresa and my brother Kerry are locked in a court dispute over the use of the ‘Earnhardt’ name,” Earnhardt said. “I’m surprised Teresa didn’t have a problem with a race sponsored by bowling because she thinks the use of ‘3’ fingers is an infringement upon the name.”

9. Chase Elliott: Elliott recorded the best finish among Hendrick Motorsports drivers with a ninth in the GoBowling,com 400.

“I may not have the Cup titles of Jimmie Johnson,” Elliott said, “or the popularity of Dale Earnhardt Jr., or the wasted potential of Kasey Kahne. What I do have is a legendary pedigree and an iconic car number. So, unlike some other young drivers looking to make an impact in this sport, I don’t have to worry about making a name or a number for myself.”

10. Austin Dillon: Dillon finished sixth at Kansas, posting his sixth top 10 of the year.

“My No. 3 RCR Chevy was fast,” Dillon said. “My teammate Ryan Newman finished seventh. That means RCR put two cars in the top 10. Could we ever put three cars in the ‘top 10?’ Only if Paul Menard drops 20 digits from his car number.”

May 10, 2016
The Final Word – Toto, I’ve a feeling we’re not in Kansas any more

Funny things happen in Kansas. One day things might seem normal, but then a twister comes, your house takes off, the neighbor lady goes from riding a bicycle to flying on a broomstick, your abode lands on a witch, and then you get a hung lug nut.

One of those was the reason Martin Truex Jr., dominant throughout the evening, found himself down a couple of laps. Sometimes a removed lug nut bounces up where it does not belong and ruins your day. Those flying monkeys did bad things on his parade, though Truex managed to get back on the lead lap before it was over, with 14th his fate.

Sometimes, you get a nice pair of ruby red slippers, and Kyle Busch took the fancy foot gear to the finish line, outdistancing Kevin Harvick, brother Kurt, and Matt Kenseth. All were among the supporting cast but got bumped up to main roles at the end. It marked the third win of the season for Rowdy, the 37th of his career, and now he boasts nine Top Fives in 11 contests. Somebody seems intent on working his way to the Emerald City for a second straight year, and now that Kansas and Martinsville have been removed to his to-do list, that only leaves Charlotte and Pocono for him to record his first win at.

The Haunted Forest is real, my friends. Just ask Jamie McMurray, who thought things were going well until his car was attacked by a big jack man, who hip checked the auto into flaring out its skirt. NASCAR does not like that. Just like that, McMurray was a couple of laps down and stayed down to finish 26th. Tires went flat and, ding-dong, their hopes were dead. Carl Edwards (11th) managed to struggle back, but Trevor Bayne was left outside the Top 20.

Denny Hamlin had a couple of speeding penalties but was rushing back into contention when he went between Brad Keselowski and Kyle Larson late in the game. The hopes of most melted quicker than a sorceress at a water park. Keselowski spun on his own, though he recovered to finish 10th. Hamlin did the same time, without any contact, until he contacted Larson against the wall while Joey Logano nailed Denny coming through the smoke. Brad, and Denny, and Kyle, oh my. The trio finished 35th and worse. However, a trio of munchkins did well, with Top Ten finishes recorded by Ryan Blaney, Austin Dillon, and Chase Elliott.

The Yellow Brick Road continues next to Dover for a Sunday matinee, the place where champions go to win. The past 14 winners all have a NASCAR championship to their credit. Those eight drivers are Jimmie Johnson (7 times), Harvick, Kenseth, Keselowski, both Busch boys, Jeff Gordon, and Tony Stewart. Stewart won there just three years ago, and after a 12th place finish on Saturday night, maybe there is a glimmer of hope. One win and a gain of 59 points against the 30th ranked Regan Smith, between now and the conclusion of Richmond, would do the trick.

Now, wouldn’t that be enough to make a guy click his heels in celebration if he only had the heart, the brain, and the courage to do so, along with a little luck?

May 9, 2016
Hot 20 – At least the Kansas race this year is not sponsored by SpongeBob or the Ninja Turtles

Brand names, especially strong memorable ones, can truly make an event stand out. The Daytona 500, the Southern 500, and the Brickyard 400 have meaning or should, with proper marketing. The Firecracker 400, Old Dominion 500, Mason-Dixon 500 all had a ring to them, not the ka-ching ring they were tossed aside for.

The GoBowling.com 400 this Saturday night in Kansas is a case in point. In fact, it is the very same name of a race held in Dover in 2013 and 2014, tradition be damned. To be fair, it could have been a lot worse. Remember, last year this race was known as the SpongeBob SquarePants 400, a time no doubt when more than a few veteran fans said to hell with it and started tuning in for rhythmic gymnastics for their sports fix.

Even more iconic corporate monikers, such as the Coca-Cola 600 at Charlotte, which has gone by variations of that theme for thirty years, fail to cut it. As was the case with the Coca-Cola 500 at Pocono, one day the corporation will move its money elsewhere. The smart play would be to forever let it be known as the World 600, as it was known for its first 26 years. Even the Coca-Cola World 600 of 1985 remained true to the heritage of the sport while retaining the brand name of the event and still recognizing the corporate support. Today, even the sponsor loses. You tell me what has more substance; the GoBowling.com 400 or the GoBowling.com Kansas 400?

College football had wandered off the traditional path, and even today the Gator Bowl, around since 1945, has been the Taxpayer Bowl since 2014. However, the academic folks were smart enough to realize its season-ending playoffs would be best served by embracing tradition. This is why we have millions tuning into the Rose, Orange, Sugar, Cotton, Peach, and Fiesta Bowls, with a title sponsor attached. For eight years we had the Chick-fil-A Bowl, but the “Peach Bowl” name was restored as a condition of joining the College Football Playoff rotation. You know, sometimes those schools have some bright people among them. NASCAR could use some of them.

What they do have are some pretty good drivers, with one of them about to win another (Place Sponsor Name Here) 400 event. Again, it could be worse. While SpongeBob and NASCAR team up for a new apparel line, just wait until September when we have the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 400 in Chicago. I kid you not.

Our Hot 20 heading to Kansas include…

1. KYLE BUSCH – 2 WINS – 342 PTS
I must admit I am not a big Skittles fan, but if Kyle ever gets a Smartie’s cake, I am in.

2. CARL EDWARDS – 2 WINS – 337 PTS
Damn near hit the wall last weekend. Thankfully, Junior got in the way.

3. JIMMIE JOHNSON – 2 WINS – 329 PTS
Won it for SpongeBob last spring and maybe now he can win it for the bowlers of the world.

4. BRAD KESELOWSKI – 2 WINS – 300 PTS
Should be wearing an “I survived Talladega” fire suit.

5. KEVIN HARVICK – 1 WIN – 351 PTS
On Sunday, he aborted take-off…and that was a good thing.

6. DENNY HAMLIN – 1 WIN – 269 PTS
Did not have a banner day last week, but as he already has a win, no big deal.

7. JOEY LOGANO – 316 PTS
My guess is if Logano caught fire, his peers would be lining up to help put it out.

8. KURT BUSCH – 312 PTS
When push comes to shove, Kurt has been pushing hard…and then the wrecks happen.

9. DALE EARNHARDT JR. – 279 PTS
Replacing the steering wheel with handlebars Saturday night.

10. MARTIN TRUEX JR. – 274 PTS
When times got tough, Truex simply got tougher…and wiser.

11. AUSTIN DILLON – 272 PTS
Seventeen pit stops, four wrecks, and yet a third place finish at Talladega on the Intimidator’s 65th birthday.

12. CHASE ELLIOTT – 271 PTS
If you thought the world loved young Chase, you were not listening to the in-car audio.

13. JAMIE MCMURRAY – 261 PTS
I thought he was having a good season, but he trails Harvick by 90 points and is yet to lead a lap.

14. A.J. ALLMENDINGER – 232 PTS
Talladega might have been a trying day, but he is back in a Chase place heading into Saturday.

15. MATT KENSETH – 231 PTS
Thinking of driving a bus at Kansas. The wheels on a bus go round and round, not up and over.

16. TREVOR BAYNE – 228 PTS
Last four starts have seen a rise in Bayne’s fortunes.

17. KASEY KAHNE – 224 PTS
Wants to lead a lap…any lap…anywhere…at some time this season.

18. RYAN BLANEY – 219 PTS
Twenty-ninth in Texas, 11th at Bristol, 28th in Richmond, and ninth last week seems to show inconsistency.

19. RYAN NEWMAN – 219 PTS
Ten races, one ninth place finish and another in 10th, might be better than most, but not good enough.

20. RICKY STENHOUSE JR. – 218 PTS
Within 10 of Bayne, and still has a 17 point bulge over Paul Menard in 21st.

May 4, 2016
NASCAR Top-10 Power Rankings: Talladega

Note: The quotes in this article are fictional.

1. Kyle Busch: Busch finished second in a wild and crash-filled Geico 500 at Talladega as Brad Keselowski captured the win. Busch is second in the Sprint Cup points standings, nine behind Kevin Harvick.

“I finished second,” Busch said, “and Carl Edwards finished 35th. Just like last week, I see Edwards behind me.

“Everybody knows I owe Carl Edwards. Carl knows, too. I told Carl I’d give him fair warning, though. That’ll come in the form of Jamie McMurray. When Carl sees McMurray, he’ll know he’s got ‘1’ coming.”

2. Kevin Harvick: Harvick’s strong day at Talladega ended on a sour note when he was sucked into a last-lap pileup. He finished 15th.

“Danger is always a factor at Talladega,” Harvick said. “Nothing speaks to that better than the fact that Busch beer was on the No. 4 Chevrolet for the race. Whether you’re headed to the mountains of Busch or the air of Talladega, you’re likely to get wasted.

“Tony Stewart started the race. Ty Dillon took over after the first caution. That was at the orders of Tony’s doctors. So, it was good news for Tony’s back, and his stomach.

3. Carl Edwards: Edwards suffered damage in a lap 96 incident, then blew a tire on lap 111 and slammed Jimmie Johnson. The wreck ended Edwards day, and he finished 35th in the Geico 500 at Talladega.

“I still haven’t spoken to Kyle Busch about bumping him out of the lead at Richmond,” Edwards said. “I expect I will at some point. When I do want Kyle’s attention, I’ll just tap him on the shoulder.”

4. Brad Keselowski: Keselowski led a race-high 46 laps and won the Geico 500.

“There are two types of people that love racing at Talladega,” Keselowski said. “Fans, and the race winner.

“But seriously, Brian France claims to have safety in mind for the drivers, but what’s more likely to be hurt are his feelings, not a driver. If you can’t take criticism from Tony Stewart, you’re not fit to be in this sport, because everyone’s been criticized by Tony.”

5. Jimmie Johnson: Johnson’s day ended early after a lap 160 incident with Kurt Busch that sent Johnson into the wall. Johnson finished 22nd, six laps down.

“Busch just ran right through me,” Johnson said. “Kurt’s been known to charge with full ferocity. But it’s one thing to pin your ears back surgically, which Kurt had done in 2006, and pin your ears back figuratively, which he did at Talladega.”

6. Dale Earnhardt Jr.: Earnhardt started third at Talladega and struggled from the start, spinning on lap 50 before being taken out by Carl Edwards after the No. 19 car blew a tire. Earnhardt finished 40th.

“My steering wheel came off at one point during the race,” Earnhardt said. “Here’s the interesting thing: that’s the best my car drove all day.”

7. Kurt Busch: Busch ran up front for much of the day at Talladega and delivered an eighth-place finish in the Geico 500.

“To succeed at Talladega,” Busch said, “you have to find the right balance of patience and aggression. The problem with fellow drivers have with me is they lose their patience altogether.”

8. Joey Logano: Logano finished 25th at Daytona, with a strong run negated by a last-lap pileup that victimized the No. 22 and several other cars. Logano is fifth in the points standings, 35 out of first.

“Cars were going airborne right and left,” Logano said. “As a driver, you hate to see that. It sends a chill up your spine and makes your testicles retract way up into your abdomen. That’s a real ‘aero package.’”

9. Chase Elliott: Elliott won the pole at Talladega, thirty years after his father Bill did and came through with a fifth in the Geico 500.

“’Like father, like son,’ as they say,” said Elliott. “I guess it runs in the family. I could say, ‘I have speed coursing through my veins,’ but I’d rather not be mistaken for Jeremy Mayfield.”

10. Austin Dillon: Dillon finished third at Talladega, earning his third top-five of the year.

“There was a lot of duct tape used at Talladega on Sunday,” Dillon said. “That’s not unusual. This is Alabama. Duct tape is a part of life. Heck, it’s part of the state flag.”

May 3, 2016
The Final Word – Talladega; what could possibly go wrong?

Bad things happen at Talladega. If you are not barrel rolling or wall smacking, you just had yourself a nice, pleasant day in Alabama. That kind of thing, in fact, can get you a win, as was the case with Brad Keselowski on Sunday. The White Deux actually looked pretty good at the end, as the 2012 champ won his 19th career race, and second of the season. When all the smoke had cleared, the driver leading the most laps was leading the last one.

For some, things did not quite work out. Dale Earnhardt Jr. is always seen as a favorite, but after the 50th lap, not so much. He lost control, collected teammate Kasey Kahne, and they went back to check out the snacks available in the garage.

Tony Stewart, under doctor’s orders to protect his back, used the caution to crawl out and let Ty Dillon take that ride home. A seventh place finish proved that they had a plan that worked. Most planned to stay on all four tires, but that idea went tumbling down the track for Chris Buescher who did a few barrel rolls after being caught up in some four-wide racing.

Good news for Junior and Kahne fans, as both returned. Maybe that was bad news. Earnhardt actually had his steering wheel come off under caution and did some shaft driving before he reattached it. This is after he helped Carl Edwards avoid the wall when Edwards shot up the track and sandwiched Junior to a merciful conclusion. A few laps later, Kahne could no longer handle his car, which also shot up into the outside wall and he was finally done, too. At least both Hendrick boys got, not just one but, two post-wreck interviews. You got to keep them sponsors happy.

With less than thirty to go, we managed to rid ourselves of yet another Hendrick car. Kurt Busch influenced Jimmie Johnson to move up to take out fellow Top Ten driver Paul Menard in a mishap that involved 17 drivers. Yet, a less numerous yet more spectacular meeting of the metal took place about 20 laps later when Danica Patrick got turned to the inside and invited Matt Kenseth to space camp, who exposed the bottom of his car to the television viewers as it launched. Patrick, meanwhile, made some solid contact with the wall to feel the agony of de fence. Both were done as another half dozen cars got bent out of shape to some degree in that one.

If you thought we were done, you were just ignoring your inner Ricky Bobby. As Keselowski thundered to the line, with Kyle Busch, Austin Dillon, Chase Elliott, and Jamie McMurray behind him, more boys were beating the stuffings out of their boogity boogities. Kevin Harvick, who almost went wheels up, A.J. Allmendinger, Ricky Stenhouse Jr., and Martin Truex Jr. were among those making mangled metallic memories.

Seven of the Top Ten at Talladega currently hold down a Chase place. Ryan Blaney is just nine points out while Stewart returns to the driver’s seat this Saturday night in Kansas. Thanks to his relief driver, he only has to make up 61 points and pick up a win, to claim a Chase place. Clint Bowyer had a Top Ten and a win still gets him in, or he has 68 points to make up on 16th place. When you think on it, the odds still might favor Stewart. Bowyer has gone winless in 15 attempts in Kansas, and considering the quality of cars he has been blessed with this season, his odds are definitely not terribly high on Saturday.

May 2, 2016
Hot 20 – NASCAR gives Tony grief last week, and now some relief at Talladega

Just a week after Tony Stewart criticized NASCAR for its rather lax rules regarding tightened lug nuts, and having to cough up a $35,000 fine for doing so, guess who is once again mandating that all lug nuts be tightened? Apparently there are no “whistler blower” provisions in effect when it comes to spotlighting stupidity. Look at the shock on this ole face. At least a few of Stewart’s peers were outraged enough to go in together to pay the fine for him. Sure, NASCAR could just say “thanks” to Tony and move on. Actually, based on what we have seen over the year, no, they could not. They just do not have it in them.

Coming to Talladega, I doubt many fans have forgotten the fine handed out to Dale Earnhardt Jr. after he won there in 2004. When asked about taking his fifth career victory at the big track, Junior responded on television with “It don’t mean shit right now. Daddy’s won here 10 times.” That cost him $10,000 and a few points. Hell, it is a good thing I am not a driver. I would be broke by June.

Try as they might, they just cannot seem to do what is right. While Stewart looks at his fine as an investment into the safety of the sport, NASCAR spouts off about how its drivers cannot question the integrity of the sport, even if its integrity is sometimes suspect. Their response to a host of issues has been found wanting, both on the track and off it. You would have thought that by now they would know if something could pose a danger, one day it will for someone. A lack of lug nuts, exposed concrete walls, seating too close to the action are among them.

NASCAR has done some good things. The safety of the car is the biggest one, in my opinion. Despite my initial misgivings, I do like the Chase, I do like the new points system, and I do like having wins have more meaning. That said, do you really think Stewart should make the Chase if he cannot complete a race? Ty Dillon will relieve him at some point this Sunday, with Tony getting credit for the points picked up, and even a victory should that happen. Really? Those have long been the rules, but I think time and recent rule changes have made that archaic. If you have to get out of the car, you park the car. No exceptions. Poor NASCAR, even when they try to be understanding, they either fail to understand or they are misunderstood.

You would think NASCAR would even have a team in place to quickly address social issue controversies, especially in these times. When we are actually having unisex changing rooms at swimming pools, washrooms of the same design were not far off. They do not have to buy into what everyone is selling, but NASCAR should at least be prepared to respond one way or the other in terms they are willing to stand by.

Hiding attendance figures is not exactly the response of an open, transparent, people friendly outfit, either. NASCAR even has its own way of eliminating the question of whether a glass is half empty or half full by just tearing down grandstands and calling the smaller configuration a better glass. Some like to think they and their sport or favorite team are in it together. NASCAR does not allow that. That is not helpful when one is going through tough times.

Shooting the messenger, then immediately acting on the message, does not help much either. Having Talladega on tap for our Hot 20 does.

1. CARL EDWARDS – 2 WINS – 331 PTS
Loves, loves, loves to love tap his teammate.

2. JIMMIE JOHNSON – 2 WINS – 310 PTS
Stewart got fined, but Jimmie, Junior, Kyle, Brad, Denny and Kevin paid it…and happy to do so.

3. KYLE BUSCH – 2 WINS – 302 PTS
If Kyle does not pay Carl back, Samantha just might.

4. KEVIN HARVICK – 1 WIN – 324 PTS
His sponsor promotes drinking beer and going fishing. What possibly could go wrong?

5. DENNY HAMLIN – 1 WIN – 258 PTS
From the Drivers’ Council: NASCAR, you did Tony wrong. Love, Denny and friends.

6. BRAD KESELOWSKI – 1 WIN – 255 PTS
Tony will pay his own fine, but thanks to Brad and company a donation goes to fight autism.

7. JOEY LOGANO – 299 PTS
Would love to see what happened last fall repeat itself this spring.

8. KURT BUSCH – 279 PTS
Maybe he could start a Formula One race, and have Lewis Hamilton sub for him.

9. DALE EARNHARDT JR. – 278 PTS
Junior loves Talladega, and the fans there love him right back.

10. MARTIN TRUEX JR. – 246 PTS
Top 10 in the standings, more than likely a top 10 on Sunday.

11. CHASE ELLIOTT – 234 PTS
When does this racing thing get hard?

12. AUSTIN DILLON – 234 PTS
Having a good year, yet everyone is talking about brother Ty coming into the weekend.

13. JAMIE MCMURRAY – 224 PTS
Five mph above the speed limit is his street limit. Considering radar is now a cash cow, good thing.

14. KASEY KAHNE – 222 PTS
A career revival constitutes making the Chase and doing well once he gets there.

15. MATT KENSETH – 212 PTS
Having the worse kind of season 25 other drivers can only dream of having.

16. RYAN NEWMAN – 205 PTS
Second-best average finisher at Talladega the past two years. That has to count for something.

17. A.J. ALLMENDINGER – 204 PTS
Some drivers do well with one-car teams. Others are named Clint Bowyer.

18. TREVOR BAYNE – 196 PTS
With an average Talladega finish outside the Top 25, he could see a lot of Danica on Sunday.

19. RICKY STENHOUSE JR. – 193 PTS
Richmond penalty costs the team Crew Chief Nick Sandler this weekend.

20. RYAN BLANEY – 187 PTS
Here partially in thanks to Paul Menard, Kyle Larson, Greg Biffle, and Bowyer

April 27, 2016
NASCAR Top-10 Power Rankings: Richmond

Note: The quotes in this article are fictional.

1. Kyle Busch: Busch led 78 laps at Richmond, including 35 of the last 36, but couldn’t close the deal on the win as Carl Edwards bumped him out of the lead on the final lap. Busch’s runner-up finish was his seventh top five of the year and he is now fourth in the Sprint Cup points standings.

“I’m very emotional after losing,” Busch said. “You could say I was ‘moved’ by Edwards.

“I want to talk about Edwards about as much as I do about hitting a fan at Bristol. Really, I don’t want to talk about that fan I hit. That’s what happens when the ‘shhhh’ hits the fan.”

2. Carl Edwards: Edwards led 151 of 400 laps at Richmond and stalked Kyle Busch for several laps before bumping him out of the way on the final circuit. Edwards took his second consecutive win while Busch was prevented from capturing his third victory of the year.

“I know Kyle is one of my Joe Gibbs Racing teammates,” Edwards said, “but a win is a win. Thus, you saw my celebratory back flip preceded by the predatory backstab.”

“I’m sure Kyle would have done the same thing had he been in my shoes. And I mean that as a compliment to Kyle. And I’m sure he’ll return the favor.”

3. Kevin Harvick: Harvick started on the pole at Richmond after qualifying was rained out and finished fifth for his fourth top five of the year.

“It’s good to see Tony Stewart back in racing,” Harvick said. “And I think it’s ludicrous that NASCAR chose to fine him. If you’re going to mention ’35,000’ and ‘Tony Stewart,’ it should only be in a discussion of his weekly calorie intake.”

4. Jimmie Johnson: Johnson finished third at Richmond, posting his fifth top-five result of the year.

“It’s good to see Tony Stewart back in a race car,” Johnson said, “and I applaud his critical comments of NASCAR safety. Tony speaks for a lot of us because he’s not afraid to say what’s on his mind. It takes bravery to say the things Tony does. Let’s just say where balls are concerned, Tony has a huge pair. With that comes great responsibility, and I surely wouldn’t want to lug those nuts around.”

5. Dale Earnhardt Jr.: Earnhardt saw a potential top-10 finish fall by the wayside after a late restart shuffled him back in the field. He finished 13th and is seventh in the Sprint Cup points standings.

“Can you imagine the turmoil had Jimmie Johnson bumped me out of a sure win?” Earnhardt said. “The fans of Junior Nation would have rioted. They certainly would have tossed their beer cans onto the track. Only the empties, of course.”

6. Kurt Busch: Busch led 55 laps and finished 10th in the Toyota Owners 400, scoring his sixth top 10 of the year.

“My brother Kyle was very disappointed in losing that race,” Busch said, “and so was his wife Samantha. So much so that she uttered the ‘S’ word on national television. But Kyle wants everyone to rest assured that she’s not the only one on the ‘S’ list.”

7. Joey Logano: Logano fell a lap down early at Richmond but rebounded and came home with a ninth-place finish.

“I made contact with Tony Stewart early in the race,” Logano said, “and it resulted in a flat tire for Tony. I’m sure he wasn’t happy about that. He probably uttered some profanities directed at me. Samantha Busch used the ‘S’ word; Tony used the ‘little S’ word.”

8. Denny Hamlin: Hamlin started fifth and finished sixth at Richmond as Joe Gibbs Racing teammates Carl Edwards and Kyle Busch finished 1-2.

“NASCAR fined Tony Stewart $35,000 for his comments regarding lug nuts,” Hamlin said. “I disagree with this. Tony should be able to speak his mind freely without the threat of retribution. So, he should be given the same privilege he refuses to give anyone else.”

9. Brad Keselowski: Keselowski finished 11th in the Toyota Owners 400 at Richmond while Penske Racing teammate Joey Logano finished eighth.

“I don’t blame Carl Edwards for bumping Kyle Busch,” Keselowski said. “If the tables were turned, I’m sure Kyle would have done the same thing. And speaking of ‘turned tables,’ I’m sure Kyle will flip a few in the next JGR drivers meeting. Heck, Kyle didn’t think twice about hitting a random fan. After what happened at Richmond, I doubt he’ll think at all before bumping Edwards.”

10. Martin Truex Jr.: Truex finished ninth at Richmond, posting his fourth top 10 of the year. He is 10th in the points standings, 85 out of first.

“I can’t imagine being bumped out of the lead by a teammate,” Truex said. “That’s because I don’t have a teammate.”

April 27, 2016
The Final Word – A funny thing happened on the way to Kyle’s Richmond celebration

Hey, what is a little bump and run between teammates, eh? Down to the final laps at Richmond, Kyle Busch had it won. Even Carl Edwards thought he had it. However, Rowdy became a bit conservative, or maybe his tires wore down. Just maybe, he thought he had a teammate behind him and could just cruise to the finish line. Obviously, Kyle forgot that this particular teammate has been known wander off his meds on rare occasions. Sometimes Cousin Carl can turn into a doll named Chucky. Just ask Matt Kenseth.

On the final lap, Edwards cut low and stuck. Coming off the final turn, he cut low again and when Busch did the same, out came the fender horn. Kyle got loose, Carl went by for the win. No doubt Carl just hated for that to happen. You could tell how sad he was in celebrating the victory. Sad, my ass. His second of the season was the 27th of his career, marking the first time in 120 races that a last-lap pass for the win took place at Richmond. Mind you, with two wins already to his credit, I think Kyle will be just fine, though I am not so sure his wife will be as forgiving.

Just being back was some kind of victory for Tony Stewart. After missing the first eight of the season mending, now we have to see if he can replicate the kind of campaign that led Busch to a championship a year ago. Stewart was 19th on Sunday, and to make the Chase he now has to win a race and make up the 101 points between himself and 30th place. He has 17 attempts to make it happen.

Edwards and Busch were not alone up front, at least they were not early on. Jimmie Johnson, who finished third, led early while the fourth place finishing Kevin Harvick was a factor for the most part. Denny Hamlin was the victim of a runaway tire in the pits that took him out of it, but he recovered to finish nicely in fifth. Kurt Busch was another we saw lots of, though he faded back to 10th by the time his brother got bumped.

Kasey Kahne did not have a great day, but he got into the mix late to finish third, which keeps him with a Chase place. Top Tens also went to the likes of Kenseth, Joey Logano, and Martin Truex Jr. As for Clint Bowyer, Stewart cannot get out of his ride fast enough to make room for him. Once again, his current ride remains not ready for prime time as he came home 33rd to sit 29th in points. He desperately needs a win, and I would not mind having my hair back. Some things are just too much to ask for.

However, asking for excitement next Sunday at Talladega is not one of them. It is almost a guarantee that fans will be riding by the seat of their pants in the grandstands and in their easy chairs at home, a lot like the drivers they will be cheering on. Will Dale Earnhardt Jr. add to his total of six career wins there, or might Brad Keselowski add another to his three previous wins? Who will make the race, Michael Waltrip or David Gilliland? Who will be involved in the Big One? The answers will come our way this Sunday from Talladega.

April 25, 2016