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  • The White-Zone: Why the Contender Round Favors Jeff Gordon

    The White-Zone: Why the Contender Round Favors Jeff Gordon

    “The white zone is for immediate loading and unloading,” and I must unload about why the Contender Round will put the ball in Jeff Gordon’s court.

    The motto for the 24 team in the Challenger Round struck me as simply “survive and advance.” While he had a dominant car at Chicagoland, he was a 10th-place car at best in Loudon and Dover. Now that Gordon has moved on to the Contender Round, he’ll find the track lineup of Charlotte, Kansas and Talladega to his advantage.

    First is the “Beast of the Southeast.”

    Jeff Gordon has a love/hate history with Charlotte Motor Speedway. This was the track where he scored the first of his 92 career wins on May 29, 1994. He’s visited victory lane here five times and has 17 top-fives, 24 top-10s, and nine poles. Gordon has led 787 laps with an average start of 10.7, an average finish of 15.4 and he has completed 93.3 percent of the combined laps in 45 career starts.

    Now with that said, Charlotte is the ultimate hit or miss track for the driver of the No. 24 car. His 10 DNF’s here are his most at any track on the NASCAR schedule. From 2005 to 2007, he suffered five straight DNF’s. In the last five races, those five being the races with the Gen-6 car, he’s finished 35th, seventh, seventh, second and 15th. This gives him an average finish of 13.2, which is higher than his career average of 15.4 at the track. Gordon might have a better run this time around since the Chase race doesn’t require as much chasing the changes as the Coca-Cola 600, but I would say it’s wishful thinking to expect anything but a 10th-place finish.

    Where the odds truly begin to go up for Jeff Gordon is when we make our way out to the heartland and race at Kansas Speedway.

    This has been one of his more friendly tracks. He’s won three times with 11 top-fives and 13 top-10s, led 218 laps with an average start of 13.1, an average finish of 9.9 and has completed 99.2 percent of the combined laps in 19 career starts.

    His top-10 average of 68.4 percent is his eighth best behind Pocono, Phoenix, Homestead, Indianapolis, Sonoma, Martinsville and Kentucky. Gordon’s top-five average of 57.9 percent is his third best behind Sonoma and Martinsville. In his last five races at Kansas, he’s finished 13th, third, first, 14th and fourth. This gives him an average finish of 7, higher than his career average of 9.9 at the track. In May, he ran top-10 most of the race and came home fourth. I think it will be another top-five run for Big Daddy in the heartland.

    While I expect Jeff Gordon to run well at Charlotte and Kansas, what really gives me confidence in his Contender Round run is the Alabama roulette wheel (I really hope that starts catching on) of Talladega Superspeedway.

    Before I go into detail, I’m aware that after Daytona, Gordon said he was glad he only had to do this plate stuff one final time. I’m also not going to say for certain if he’ll just run in the back trying to survive and advance. I do know that, next to Dale Earnhardt Jr., Big Daddy has been the best plate racer this season. He won the pole and dominated the Daytona 500, leading 87 laps before getting caught up in the last-lap wreck on the backstretch. He also won the pole and led 47 laps here back in May where he most likely had the race won until he was busted for speeding when he locked up the brakes getting onto pit road under the sixth caution and restarted the race from the rear of the field. He was unable to work his way back to the front when the field decided to run single-file until two laps remaining. Gordon, again, was caught up in the last-lap wreck and finished 31st. While he didn’t make as much noise in July at Daytona, he did bring the car home to a sixth-place finish before getting caught in the tri-oval melee.

    You also can’t overlook the fact that Gordon has more restrictor-plate points wins than any other driver in the history of NASCAR. Before anyone goes to Wikipedia to try and tell me it’s actually Dale Earnhardt, the Intimidator only had 11 points wins in plate races – two of his Talladega wins came before the plates – while Jeff Gordon has 12. I’m not saying that Earnhardt wasn’t the best plate racer in NASCAR history, I’m just saying that Gordon is no slouch when it comes to Daytona and Talladega.

    Granted, he hasn’t won a plate race since sweeping Talladega in 2007. But it’s not a stretch to say he could get one last restrictor plate win. Regardless, it’ll be a thrill to be there in person to see Big Daddy make his final start in the hallmark style of racing in NASCAR. I also think when all is said and done, Jeff Gordon will stand victorious at the Alabama roulette wheel.

    Do you agree with my case? Leave your thoughts in the comments below. Until next time, I’ll leave you with this fact. A syzygy occurs when three astronomical bodies line up.

  • This Week’s Penalty Report

    This Week’s Penalty Report

    In case you missed it, NASCAR handed down a penalty Wednesday.

    The penalty rundown is light this week with a P2 penalty issued to the No. 78 Furniture Row Racing team. All that resulted from it was that crew chief Cole Pearn was placed on probation until Dec. 31 because of an illegal adjustment.

    This stems from a pre-race infraction in which the team was forced to take the car off the grid and back to the garage because, according to a NASCAR inspector, the right-rear wheel well was flared.

    Because of the penalty, Martin Truex Jr., who was to start ninth after qualifying was rained out Friday, was sent to the rear of the field.  Truex worked his way up through the field and finished 11th.

    Originally, NASCAR said that no further penalties would be assessed to the team. But further review of the case revealed additional details that led the sanctioning body to issue the penalty.

    Furthermore, there was no monetary fine issued with the penalty.

  • Bank of America 500 Preview

    Bank of America 500 Preview

    To quote a famous Oscar-winning film, “There’s no place like home.”

    This Saturday, the NASCAR Sprint Cup Series heads to Charlotte Motor Speedway for the Bank of America 500, the 30th race of the season, the fourth of the Chase and first of the Contender Round. I consider this to be the more interesting round with the track lineup of Charlotte, Kansas Speedway and the Alabama roulette wheel, Talladega Superspeedway.

    Charlotte Motor Speedway is a 1.5 mile (2.4 km) intermediate quad-oval located in Concord, North Carolina. It’s the centerpiece of the soon to be NASCAR Hall of Fame member Bruton Smith’s Speedway Motorsports, Inc. empire, and by extension, the Performance Racing Network.

    Being in the Metrolina area, it’s the home track for just about every NASCAR team. For Hendrick Motorsports, the hauler drive from the shop to the track is a long, grueling, oh so difficult five-minute drive. I don’t know if it’s exactly five minutes, but it’s close enough that you can see the shop from the track.

    I don’t know if there’s a track out there more temperature sensitive than Charlotte. One moment, the ambient temperature could be 75 degrees and your car is driving loose. Then the temperature could drop one degree and the car becomes tight as hell.

    There are several keys to winning at Charlotte. First is keeping up with the changes. This is a long race at 501 miles. Second is taking care of the car. While 500-mile races aren’t as grueling on cars as they were in the past, it still must endure everything thrown at it around the Beast of The Southeast. Finally, there’s fuel management. Back in May, it was Carl Edwards who played the fuel game correctly to win the Coca-Cola 600.

    With as dominant as the No. 4 car has been as of late, it should come as no surprise that defending race winner Kevin Harvick is a 7/2 favorite to win Saturday night according to Vegas Insider. Kyle Busch, who finished 11th in the Coca-Cola 600 in his first race back from a broken leg, is 6/1. Personally, my money is on either of them to win.

    Don’t miss the Bank of America 500 Saturday beginning at 6:30 p.m. on NBC. You can hear the radio broadcast for the race at 6:00 p.m. on PRN and Sirius XM NASCAR Radio. Doug Rice, Mark Garrow and Wendy Venturini will be in the booth. Rob Albright and Pat Patterson will be working the turns. Brad Gillie, Brett McMillan, Jim Noble and Steve Richards will work pit road.

    I’ll leave you with this fact. Avocados are poisonous to birds.

  • Dover in the Rear View

    Dover in the Rear View

    It’s time to put a nice little bow on everything that went down at the Monster Mile.

    The Challenger Round came to a conclusion Sunday at Dover International Speedway and it was defending series champion Kevin Harvick who conquered Miles the Monster to punch his ticket to the Contender Round. You couldn’t get any more dominant than “Happy Harvick” with leading 355 of 400 laps and a 149.7 driver rating. If qualifying hadn’t been rained out on Friday, I truly believe he would have led all 400 laps. Harvick wasn’t even passed for the lead on the track under green. The only time he lost the lead was on pit road because his pit stall was behind the start/finish line.

    The finishing bridesmaid was Kyle Busch, who led 19 laps. Afterward, Busch said, “it was a really good day for us. I can’t say enough about this entire Interstate Batteries team. They did a great job today. Adam Stevens gave me a great piece and when you look at the amount of practice time we had, it was pretty hard to figure out what you had. We had a second–place car and we finished second with it; nothing to hang our heads about.”

    Focus on the phrase, “we finished second with it; nothing to hand out head about.” I find it amazing that these words came from the same Busch that not long ago would have responded to a second–place finish with something like, “yeah, but we didn’t finish first.” If you weren’t convinced that “Rowdy” had become a new man after his wreck at Daytona, this should do the trick.

    The biggest shock of the week hands down went to the master of Dover, Jimmie Kenneth Johnson (and yes, his middle name is Kenneth). All he had to do was finish 25th or better and he would  have been racing in the Contender Round. At a track where he has an average finish of 9.1, that should have been easy. Unfortunately, the racing gods were not with him Sunday as he went behind the garage after making an unscheduled stop on lap 103. He would go on to finish 41st and get bounced out of the Challenger Round.

    After making a gutsy outside pass on Jamie McMurray in the closing laps, Dale Earnhardt Jr. rounded out the podium in third place. If he hadn’t won either Daytona or Talladega in the regular season, “June Bug” would’ve been bounced along with Johnson and McMurray would’ve moved on.

    I was also impressed with the silent fifth place performance put on by Aric Almirola.

    After being sent to the rear of the field for an unapproved adjustment, Martin Truex Jr. drove to an 11th place finish. I don’t have much to say on that other than a solid day at a track where passing is at a premium.

    Now that “Big Daddy” Jeff Gordon survived the Challenger Round with a 12th place finish, I believe the Contender Round puts the ball in Gordon’s court. He has historically run great at Kansas Speedway and finished fourth back in May plus he is the all-time points-paying restrictor plate race winner in NASCAR history at the Alabama roulette wheel known as Talladega Superspeedway.

    Overall, this race was a “meh” for me. It was far from the worst race I’ve seen at Dover, but not one of the best.

    Here are some tidbits to nibble on. Matt Kenseth ran the fastest lap on the ninth circuit with a lap of 22.471 and a speed of 160.206 mph, Matt DiBenedetto was the Sunoco Rookie of the Race and Harvick was the Mobil 1 Drive of the Race with a 149.7 driver rating.

    This Saturday, NASCAR races in their backyard at Charlotte Motor Speedway. Coverage of the Bank of America 500 starts at 6:30 p.m. on NBC (if the Navy vs. Notre Dame game doesn’t go into overtime) and the radio broadcast can be heard at 6:00 p.m. on the Performance Racing Network and Sirius XM NASCAR Radio Channel 90.

    I hope you enjoyed reading this piece. It’s my first for Speedway Media and I hope it’s the first of many. Until then, I’ll leave you with this fact. An ounce of platinum can be stretched 10,000 feet.

  • NASCAR Top-10 Power Rankings: Dover

    NASCAR Top-10 Power Rankings: Dover

    Note: The quotes in this article are fictional.

    1. Matt Kenseth: Kenseth started on the pole after qualifying was canceled and finished seventh at Dover, easily advancing to the Contender Round.

    “And then there were 12,” Kenseth said. “Now, we’re headed to Charlotte, where speeds can reach upwards of 190 miles per hour. And, if history is any indication, the cars won’t be the only thing flying—-fists will be, as well.”

    2. Kevin Harvick: Harvick dominated at Dover leading 355 of 400 laps and winning when he had to.

    “I advanced,” Harvick said. “Jimmie Johnson retreated. And that’s certainly not the first time.”

    3. Kyle Busch: Busch finished second in the AAA 400 and advanced to the next round of The Chase for the Sprint Cup.

    “It’s all about surviving and advancing,” Busch said. “And I did them both at the same time. Add those to the list of things I can do all at once, which includes ‘Whip And Nae Nae.’”

    4. Denny Hamlin: Hamlin, already into the next round with his win at New Hampshire, finished 18th at Dover.

    “I took a nice, leisurely Sunday drive,” Hamlin said. “That wasn’t the case for everyone. I’m not saying Kevin Harvick drives like a man possessed, but he emerges from his hauler like a man possessed.”

    5. Carl Edwards: Edwards finished 15th at Dover and is one of four Joe Gibbs Racing drivers to qualify for the round of 12.

    “Kevin Harvick didn’t waste any time taking over the lead,” Edwards said. “He took off like a bat out of hell, or just like the way he left Richard Childress Racing.”

    6. Joey Logano: Logano finished 10th at Dover, posting his 23rd top-10 of the year. He advances to the Contender Round of the Chase.

    “Kevin Harvick showed why he’s the reigning champion,” Logano said. “Jimmie Johnson showed why the Chase format is his biggest obstacle to winning his seventh Cup. Sadly, it was a simple seal that ruined Jimmie’s hopes. On this day, it appeared a mechanical issue was Jimmie’s ‘Achilles Seal.’”

    7. Brad Keselowski: Keselowski finished 16th in the AAA 400, making his way to the next round of the Chase.

    “It wasn’t pretty,” Keselowski said, “but the No. 2 Wurth Ford Fusion, after a rough start, came through when it counted. You could say it was ‘Wurth’ the wait.”

    8. Kurt Busch: Busch finished 17th at Dover and claimed his spot in the next round of the Chase.

    “I think NASCAR was a bit disappointed,” Busch said. “This was a high-pressure elimination race, and the only thing that got punched was a ticket.”

    9. Dale Earnhardt Jr.: Earnhardt, needing a strong finish to make the Chase, took third at Dover to advance to the next round, but just barely. Earnhardt took the 12th and final spot, tied with Jamie McMurray in points but advancing by virtue of a tiebreaker.

    “I heard a strange sound,” Earnhardt said. “It turned out I was almost done in by a loose wheel. Ironically, I ‘squeaked’ by.”

    10. (tie): Jimmie Johnson: Johnson suffered a rear axle seal failure at Dover, forcing him to the garage and ending his hopes of advancing to the round of 12. Johnson finished 41st, and won’t be winning his seventh Sprint Cup title.

    “That was a $5 part,” Johnson said. “The sad part is, I had to pay for it.”

    10. (tie): Jeff Gordon: Gordon finished 12th at Dover and made his way to the round of 12.

    “The ‘Drive For Five’ is still alive,” Gordon said. “If I could win my fifth Sprint Cup title in my final season, it would be the most emotional experience of my life. That’s why I’m calling my quest ‘Once More With Feeling.’”

  • NASCAR Top-10 Power Rankings: Loudon

    NASCAR Top-10 Power Rankings: Loudon

    Note: The quotes in this article are fictional.

    1. Matt Kenseth: Kenseth took advantage of Kevin Harvick’s fuel misfortune to take the Sylvania 300 at Loudon. The win kept Kenseth atop the points standings and guaranteed his spot in the next round of the Chase.

    “Harvick clearly had the best car,” Kenseth said. “To lead 216 of 300 laps and not win? That has to be the ultimate feeling of coming up ‘empty.’”

    2. Denny Hamlin: Hamlin backed up his Chicagoland win with a strong second-place finish at New Hampshire, following Joe Gibbs Racing teammate Matt Kenseth across the line.

    “These Gibbs cars have speed,” Hamlin said, “and their fuel mileage is so good it borders on the mysterious. With apologies to Kevin Harvick, you could say they’re ‘freaky fast.’

    3. Carl Edwards: Edwards started on the pole at Loudon and finished fifth as the Joe Gibbs Racing driver took three of the top five positions, including Matt Kenseth’s victory.

    “There were no punches to the chest after this race,” Edwards said. “But if Kevin Harvick felt the need to punish someone, he would definitely kick himself.”

    4. Joey Logano: Logano finished third in the Sylvania 300 and now sits third in the Sprint Cup points standings.

    “I’m in great position to advance to the next round of the Chase,” Logano said. “There’s only one driver that needs to drive like a maniac at Dover, and that’s Kevin Harvick. But he put himself in this position. Of all people, Harvick should know how to ‘baby’ a gas pedal.”

    5. Jimmie Johnson: Jimmie rallied from a flat tire, which left him a lap down, to finish a solid sixth at Loudon.

    “I went to see Kevin Harvick’s gas tank after the race. Instead of emerging calmly from its hauler, it ‘ran out.’

    “Jeff Gordon broke the NASCAR record for consecutive starts. That makes him the sport’s ‘Iron Man,’ but it sure as heck doesn’t make him the most hard-headed.”

    6. Brad Keselowski: Keselowski was penalized for jumping a restart and dropped to 25th before rallying to finish 12th.

    “Usually,” Keselowski said, “when somebody says ‘punch it,’ I duck instead of getting on the gas.

    “Jumping a restart is something that Matt Kenseth can do and get away with. Apparently, Matt is sneaky. You saw it last year – he attacked me in between our team transporters before I even knew it. And even when Matt punches you, you don’t even know it.”

    7. Dale Earnhardt Jr.: Earnhardt ran out of gas on the final lap and finished 25th at New Hampshire. He is 12th in the points standings, one point ahead of Kyle Busch.

    “The race at Dover is an elimination race,” Earnhardt said. “And you can’t spell ‘elimination’ without ‘E Nation.’ Of course, the Chase isn’t a spelling bee. Hopefully, I can maintain my spot of 12th or improve on it. Otherwise, I’ll be like an Earnhardt fan in a spelling bee—I won’t make it out of the first round.”

    8. Kyle Busch: Busch blew a tire on lap 159 and slammed the wall, leading to a 37th-place finish. He is 13th in the points standings, one point behind Dale Earnhardt Jr. in 12th place.

    “I’ve got my work cut out for me,” Busch said. “I’ve been behind the Eight-Ball before, which is usually because there’s a state trooper behind me.”

    9. Ryan Newman: Newman finished 10th at Loudon, posting his 14th top-10 of the year. Newman is sixth in the points standings, 25 behind Matt Kenseth.

    “I’m the Chase driver no one’s talking about,” Newman said. “That’s because I drive for the team no one’s talking about. That would be Richard Childress Racing. Unless I advance to the next round, RCR will have no chance to win the Cup, so our four teams will figuratively pack it in for the season. That’s when ‘RCR’ becomes ‘RCR & R.’”

    10. Kevin Harvick: Harvick started second in the Sylvania 300 and led 216 of 300 laps, but ran out of gas with three laps remaining, losing the lead and finishing 21st.

    “Our calculations said we had plenty of gas to finish the race,” Harvick said. “Am I in serious danger of not advancing to the next round? Well, you do the math, because you’re probably better at it than we are.”

  • NASCAR Top-10 Power Rankings: Chicagoland

    NASCAR Top-10 Power Rankings: Chicagoland

    Note: The quotes in this article are fictional.

    1. Denny Hamlin: Hamlin roared back from last place to win the Chase opener at Chicagoland. Hamlin automatically advances to the second round of the Chase, which begins at Dover on October 4.

    “I’m going to happily limp into the second round of the Chase,” Hamlin said. “

    “What does his punch/shove tell us about Kevin Harvick? Well, for one thing, it tells us he’s a right-handed cry baby.”

    2. Matt Kenseth: Kenseth posted a fifth at Chicagoland, recording his 11th top five of the year.

    “I’m amazed by what went on between Kevin Harvick and Jimmie Johnson,” Kenseth said. “Amazed only because of the following reason: between Kevin and DeLana Harvick, it’s Kevin that got his panties in a wad.”

    3. Carl Edwards: Edwards finished second in the MyAfibRisk.Com 400 at Chicagoland.

    “Denny Hamlin has punched his ticket to the next round,” Edwards said, “and he didn’t even need a fist. Kevin Harvick seems to have an anger problem. He, as well as his fist, is a ‘ball’ of fury.”

    4. Kevin Harvick: Harvick and Jimmie Johnson made contact on a restart, leading to a tire rub on Harvick’s No. 4 Jimmy Johns Chevy. The rub led to a blown tire, which left Harvick with a 42nd-place finish.

    “Jimmie and I had words,” Harvick said. “Actually, Jimmie had words; I had a fist.”

    5. Kurt Busch: Busch was leading with 10 laps to go when a caution flew for debris. On the restart, Busch lost the lead and finished third.

    “This all seems very fishy to me,” Busch said. “In the last two years, Harvick has been the one to instigate much of the Chase controversy. Is he on NBC’s payroll? If so, he’d be the only one earning his money.”

    6. Joey Logano: Logano finished sixth at Chicagoland and played a role in the first feud of the Chase. Jimmie Johnson and Kevin Harvick made contact on a restart. Harvick blamed Johnson while Johnson said Logano pushed him into Harvick.

    “Don’t ask me to choose sides,” Logano said. “If you do, I’ll just cite gearbox issues and remain ‘neutral.’”

    7. Kyle Busch: Busch finished ninth at Chicagoland, a solid start for the No. 18 car as the Chase heads to New Hampshire, where Busch won in July.

    “I won Saturday’s XFINITY Series race,” Busch said, “and was presented the winner’s trophy by the rapper Ludacris. Why is there a rapper at a NASCAR race? Well, there’s no rhyme or reason.”

    8. Jimmie Johnson: Johnson finished 11th at Chicagoland after controversially tangling with Kevin Harvick midway through the race.

    “I went to Harvick to ask what the deal was,” Johnson said. “I went ‘knock, knock, knockin’ on Kevin’s door.’ He was pretty ornery. Much like during the race, I must have rubbed him the wrong way.

    “Harvick shoved me once. And I can only guess that he shoved me one time for each Cup championship he’s won.”

    9. Brad Keselowski: Keselowski took eighth in the MyAfibRisk.Com 400 at Chicagoland.

    “The Chase For The Cup is only one race old,” Keselowski said, “and already there’s drama. That’s surprising. What’s even more surprising is I’m not in the middle of it.”

    10. Dale Earnhardt Jr.: Earnhardt finished fifth at Chicagoland, posting his 12th top-five result of the year.

    “Who does Kevin Harvick think he is?” Earnhardt said. “If he thinks he’s NASCAR’s big shot, shouldn’t he beat his own chest, and not Jimmie Johnson’s?”

  • NASCAR Top-10 Power Rankings: Richmond

    NASCAR Top-10 Power Rankings: Richmond

    Note: The quotes in this article are fictional.

    1. Matt Kenseth: Kenseth led 352 of 400 laps and cruised to an easy win in the Federated Auto Parts 400 at Richmond. The win was Kenseth’s fourth of the season and places him atop the points standings for the start of the Chase.

    “I have the early momentum for the Chase,” Kenseth said. “And speaking of ‘early momentum,’ Joey Logano says I jumped the final restart. I dispute that. If I jumped anything, it was ‘ship,’ when I left Roush Fenway Racing.”

    2. Kevin Harvick: Harvick struggled at Richmond, finishing 14th, one lap down, in the final race before the Chase For The Cup.

    “It felt like I was driving on flat tires,” Harvick said. “That made the No. 4 Jimmy Johns Chevrolet ‘leaky fast.’

    “Of course, the tires weren’t really flat. Or were they? The last thing NASCAR needs is its own ‘Deflate-Gate’ controversy.”

    3. Brad Keselowski: Keselowski finished eighth at Richmond, posting his 18th top-10 result of the year. By virtue of his one win this year, he will start the Chase with 2,003 points, nine out of first.

    “This is where you’ll see the real drivers separated from the pretenders,” Keselowski said. “Or, if you’d care not to wait, I’ll do it for you. Pretenders: Clint Bowyer, Paul Menard, Jamie McMurray. Contenders: everyone else.”

    4. Kyle Busch: Busch finished second at Richmond on a commanding night for the Joe Gibbs Racing stable. Matt Kenseth won while Denny Hamlin finished sixth and Carl Edwards took 11th.

    “JGR looks like the team to beat,” Busch said. “Kenseth is dominant while Edwards is domineering. Some people say Denny Hamlin isn’t a threat to win because of his injury, but they don’t have a leg to stand on. Me? I certainly have the talent, but history says that once the NASCAR post-season starts, I hit a wall.”

    5. Joey Logano: Logano finished third at Richmond, and will start the Chase For The Cup with 2009 points, three points behind four-time winners Jimmie Johnson, Kyle Busch, and Matt Kenseth.

    “Kenseth clearly jumped the final restart,” Logano said. “Replays verify it. Sure, Kenseth led 352 of 400 laps, but in this instance, he wasn’t ‘in the zone.’”

    6. Carl Edwards: Edwards finished 11th in the Federated Auto Parts 400 as Joe Gibbs Racing teammate Matt Kenseth dominated for the win.

    “I traded paint with Kenseth during the race,” Edwards said. “To his credit, Kenseth didn’t give an inch. He’s really manned up. If he wins another championship this year, it seems he will have finally ‘grown a pair.’”

    7. Dale Earnhardt Jr.: Earnhardt finished fifth at Richmond, the top finisher among Hendrick Motorsports cars. Earnhardt will join HMS teammates, Jimmie Johnson and Jeff Gordon in the Chase.

    “HMS hasn’t had a win since Daytona in July,” Earnhardt said. “And we really need it. Our team motto for the upcoming race is ‘Just one, baby.’”

    8. Jimmie Johnson: Johnson finished ninth and will enter the Chase For The Cup in first place with 2012 points by virtue of his four wins.

    “’2012’ is a great number,” Johnson said. “It was not a good year. That’s when my run of six straight Cups came to an end.

    “I just signed a contract extension to remain with Hendrick Motorsports through 2017. That’s good news for a team struggling to find speed heading into the Chase For The Cup. Finally, it’s a good ‘sign’ for HMS.”

    9. Kurt Busch: Busch finished 15th at Richmond and will start the Chase For The Cup with 2,006 points, six behind the leaders at 2,012.

    “Now,” Busch said, “the pressure really heats up. This is when you find out what you’re really made of. Sometimes, you never really know what someone is made of….until you go ‘court-ing.’”

    10. Denny Hamlin: Hamlin finished sixth at Richmond despite driving with a torn right ACL, an injury suffered in a pickup basketball game on Tuesday.

    “I probably shouldn’t have been playing basketball,” Hamlin said. “After all, this is the second time I’ve injured my knee. In both cases, I was wearing my favorite sneakers, the ‘Err Hamlins.’ Anyway, my right leg feels a little loose in the center.”

  • NASCAR Top-10 Power Rankings: Darlington

    NASCAR Top-10 Power Rankings: Darlington

    Note: The quotes in this article are fictional.

    1. Kevin Harvick: Harvick led 44 laps and finished fifth in the Bojangles Southern 500 at Darlington, posting his 18th top-5 finish of the year.

    “It’s great to see the Darlington race back on its traditional weekend,” Harvick said. “I think fans would agree. Ironically, sitting through a 4 hour and 29-minute marathon on Labor Day weekend is truly ‘work.’”

    2. Brad Keselowski: Keselowski started on the pole at Darlington and led a race-high 196 laps. However, Keselowski was beaten out of the pits on the race’s final caution by Carl Edwards. Edwards held on for the win, and Keselowski was left with a disappointing runner-up finish.

    “I’m a big fan of the low downforce package we ran at Darlington,” Keselowski said. “As I said before, it separates the race car drivers from the pretenders. And, .902 seconds separates the winner from second place.

    “I was sporting the ‘Miller High Life’ paint scheme at Darlington. They call ‘High Life’ the ‘Champagne Of Beers.’ The difference between winning and losing is known as ‘Champagne Or Beers.’”

    3. Kyle Busch: Busch finished eighth at Darlington and officially clinched a spot in the Chase.

    “It’s a great day,” Busch said. “Usually, when you hear the word ‘official’ mentioned along with a Busch brother, something’s going on in the NASCAR hauler.”

    4. Joey Logano: Logano finished fourth at Darlington, as Penske Racing took two of the top four spots at “The Track Too Tough To Tame.”

    “It was ‘throwback’ weekend at Darlington,” Logano said. “With one race left before the Chase, and only three Chase spots up for grabs, Richmond could be ‘throw punch’ weekend.”

    5. Carl Edwards: Edwards took the lead late at Darlington, using a quick pit stop to beat Brad Keselowski on the race’s final caution. Edwards pulled away to grab his second victory of the season.

    “I went in third and came out first,” Edwards said, “thanks to my pit crew. I owe this win to them. Believe me, they’ll be a part of the victory celebration. Heck, I might even have them DJ the party because they know how to ‘turn tables.’”

    6. Matt Kenseth: Kenseth hit the wall on lap 19 and struggled with handling for the duration of the Bojangles Southern 500, finishing 20th.

    “It was an otherwise strong day for Joe Gibbs Racing,” Kenseth said. “Carl Edwards took the lead in the pits and pulled away for the victory, winning by nearly a second. Carl took off like he was shot out of a cannon. Much like he did with Roush Fenway Racing, Carl left in a hurry.”

    7. Dale Earnhardt Jr.: Earnhardt was the top finisher among Hendrick Motorsports cars at Darlington, finishing eighth.

    “Right now,” Earnhardt said, “HMS cars aren’t fast enough to compete for wins. With the Chase For The Cup right around the corner, that’s not good. So, much like our current lap speeds, it’s a case of ‘bad timing.’

    “In other news, Danica Patrick has become more famous for her yoga poses than for her racing. Should we call her a ‘yoga master’ or a ‘threat to win a race?’ Either way, it’s a stretch.”

    8. Jimmie Johnson: Johnson finished a disappointing 19th at Darlington and is now winless in his last 12 races.

    “You probably heard my crew chief Chad Knaus married a former Miss Sprint Cup,” Johnson said. “Hopefully, Chad will have more luck with the ‘Lady In White’ than I did with the ‘Lady In Black.’

    “I gave the groom a bottle of ‘Burnt Rubber’ cologne. Chad wore some during Sunday’s race. At a track like Darlington, that’s known as ‘tire wear.’”

    9. Kurt Busch: Busch started second in the Bojangles Southern 500 at Darlington and finished sixth.

    “Much like me,” Busch said, “Bojangles is famous for its ‘chicken.’

    “You may have heard that I recently became engaged. I asked Ashley Van Metre and she said ‘yes.’ Soon, I’ll pop the question, and ask her if she’s an assassin.”

    10. Martin Truex Jr.: Truex finished ninth and had a late run-in with Kurt Busch, whom Truex sent spinning after contact on lap

    “Just as Daytona did, Darlington was offering a flag exchange,” Truex said, “in which you could exchange a Confederate flag for an American flag. With race ticket prices skyrocketing and races becoming even less exciting, leave it to NASCAR to offer fan another offer they can refuse.”

  • NASCAR Top-10 Power Rankings: Michigan

    NASCAR Top-10 Power Rankings: Michigan

    Note: The quotes in this article are fictional.

    1. Kyle Busch: Busch qualified sixth at Michigan, but a wreck in Saturday’s practice relegated him to the back of the field for the start of Sunday’s race. Despite starting in a backup car, he finished with a strong 11th-place finish that helped solidify his Chase chances.

    “I got the job done with a backup car,” Busch said. “That’s unusual. In years past, I don’t start backing up until the Chase starts.”

    2. Kevin Harvick: Harvick started seventh and finished second in the Pure Michigan 400, recording his 10th runner-up finish of the year.

    “I, like many drivers, wasn’t happy with the high-drag aero package NASCAR mandated,” Harvick said. “That drag made it impossible for me to get close enough to even attempt a pass on Matt Kenseth. But I tried my darndest. No one has ‘chased the dragin’ like that in NASCAR since Tim Richmond.”

    3. Matt Kenseth: Kenseth started on the pole at Michigan and was the strongest car throughout, leading 146 of 200 laps on his way to his third win of the season.

    “When Matt Kenseth controls a race from start to finish,” Kenseth said, “it’s called ‘boredom-ination.’”

    4. Joey Logano: Logano finished seventh in the Pure Michigan 400, posting his 17th top 10 of the year.

    “Here are a few words to describe Sunday’s race,” Logano said. “Brutal. Grueling. Uncomfortable. But enough about the fan’s perspective.

    “Seriously though, NASCAR thinks rule changes are the guidepost to racing in which the aerodynamics lead to passing while still maintaining the high speeds that attract fans. Sadly, though, the real ‘fantasy draft’ only happens for football season.”

    5. Jimmie Johnson: Johnson spun on lap 183 at Michigan and limped home to a 39th-place finish, his second-worst of the year.

    “I finished right between J.J. Yeley and Travis Kvapil,” Johnson said. “They’re not exactly household names. They’re barely ‘racetrack’ names. However, Sunday was one time when Yeley and Kvapil can say they were among the hottest drivers in NASCAR.”

    6. Dale Earnhardt Jr.: Earnhardt finished 10th at Michigan, posting his 14th top-10 result of the year. He is third in the Sprint Cup points standings, behind Kevin Harvick.

    “The aerodynamic package for Michigan made for some extreme temperatures in the cockpit,” Earnhardt said. “It reached 150 degrees in some cars. They say you can fry an egg at that temperature. Matt Kenseth chose to ‘make toast.’”

    7. Martin Truex Jr.: Truex took third at Michigan, earning his seventh top-five result of the season. He sits fourth in the points standings, 111 out of first.

    “This aerodynamic package made for some boring laps,” Truex said, “and the fans were clearly bored. If NASCAR fans want to see real ‘drag racing,’ I suggest they attend NHRA events. There, the women are actually a ‘Force.’”

    8. Brad Keselowski: Keselowski finished ninth at Michigan, recording his 15th top 10 of the year. He is fifth in the points standings, 112 out of first.

    “Penske cars had to replace their splitters prior to the race,” Keselowski said. “That was at the behest of NASCAR, who thought the splitters were noncompliant. I guess it’s true that it was, in fact, brutally hot inside the cars, because we got caught red-handed.”

    9. Kurt Busch: Busch finished 20th at Michigan, only his third finish outside the top 15 this season.

    “It was hot in Michigan on Sunday,” Busch said. “Honestly, I could barely take it. But I’m not complaining. You know what they say: ‘If you can’t stand the heat, get out of the bitchin.’’”

    10. Carl Edwards: Edwards came home sixth in the Pure Michigan 400 as Joe Gibbs Racing put three cars in the top 6.

    “Joe Gibbs Racing cars went 1-2-3 in qualifying,” Edwards said. “Now that’s what I call putting the ‘success’ in ‘succession.’”