Tag: Tony Stewart

  • Logging Laps: Road course racing is perfect.

    Logging Laps: Road course racing is perfect.

    NASCAR is and has always been a southern sport. Even with the massive boom in popularity we saw from the early 90s till the late 2000s, NASCAR’s primary fan base and roots were always in the short tracks of the Deep South. Bumping, banging, and hard-nosed racing is where rivalries and champions were born. It’s what led blue-collar workers to become racers and race fans.

    However, like everything else in the world, the only thing constant is change. NASCAR is no exception to this rule, with the cars, drivers, tracks, and the very sport itself, being reshaped and remodeled over and over again in the last 15 years. We see more competition now that we ever have, and the cars and drivers are closer than they ever were before.

    On a typical race weekend, the difference between the fastest five cars and the rest of the top 25 is little more than a few tenths of a second. That makes aero, clean air, and track position more important than just about everything else now. That’s why we see so many races where the leader after pit stops is the leader at the next flag. Passing is so hard now that even with almost all the downforce taken off these cars, it’s still a rarity to see a green-flag pass for the lead. It creates a racing product that is a damned hard sell to new fans and a sport that has seen a massive exodus of its old, core demographic.

    Like I said before, times change. We can’t stop advancement in the sport any more than we could actually go back in time. It’s just not possible. However, there is a beacon of light in the garage. A small window to the past that we often times miss, road course racing.

    Sonoma Raceway and Watkins Glen have quickly become the only real analogs to the old style of racing that made NASCAR so popular. A race where tires fall off, drivers can show their skill, aero means almost nothing and if you’re faster than the guy in front of you, you can pass him.

    It’s almost ironic when you stop to think about it because NASCAR has always been oval-centric. There was a time when most of the teams took their worst car to the road course races and didn’t even try. It was the era of ringers where top teams would hire a specialist just for 1-3 races a year simply because they thought they would get a better result that way. They put little to no effort into the road courses because they didn’t matter. Drivers dreaded going to a road course race and would bemoan it. Now, the drivers, crews, and fans resoundingly love it, so much so that we’re actually going to see a road course (Roval) race at Charlotte Motor Speedway in the playoffs next year.

    What is truly amazing is that when you watch the races from Sonoma or Watkins Glen, you see what the sport used to be – men and women, braver than most, wrestling an unruly 3400 pounds race car, side-by-side and bumper to bumper, for position. We see the bumping and banging that the old fans miss. We see the action at the front of the pack and the passing we used to enjoy. Tires fall off, tempers flare, and strategies come into play that we could never have predicted. It’s truly a great show for everyone involved and a microcosm of the sport we all remember and miss.

    Sure, NASCAR has evolved and the time when short-track racing at small fairgrounds across the country is gone. Yes, we’re stuck with 1.5-mile tracks that try every trick in the book to make something out of nothing, tire dragons, VHT, progressive banking, soft green tires, and more. Attendance is down and so are the TV ratings, but in my opinion, and based on what I’ve seen from the fans in the stands, the people online, and the crews in the garage, we have an antidote for the anemic state of racing we love so much – road courses.

    It’s as simple as tuning into the last few years of races and watching the action, the fender-banging, the last lap passes, the fuel games and the pit strategy. Road course racing is giving us everything you could want as a NASCAR fan, rivalries included. Just look back at Kyle Busch and Brad Keselowski, Tony Stewart and Brian Vickers, Martin Truex Jr. and Keselowski, Dale Earnhardt Jr. and Matt Kenseth. The list of driver flare-ups over contact goes on and on.

    This is exactly what so many fans have been complaining about, boring races with no passing, no action, and no drama. Now, after another great weekend of road course racing, it appears obvious that we have a pretty simple solution to those issues, now don’t we?

     

  • The Final Word – Tradition is fine, but at Sonoma some followed their own course on that road

    The Final Word – Tradition is fine, but at Sonoma some followed their own course on that road

    As we were reminded by Tevye in Fiddler on the Roof, tradition contributes a lot to our society. However, sometimes we like to change things up. Sometimes we have to.

    Gentlemen, start your engines. That is what was customarily said prior to races, but no longer. You probably thought that was due to a woman being in the field. Nope. There are just not enough gentlemen. Just ask Danica Patrick. She was cruising along in sixth in the opening stage when Dale Earnhardt Jr. lost traction, slid through the hairpin turn at Sonoma, and sat across the track. She collided with him. Of course, it was an accident, but it also was not very gentlemanly.

    Later, the boys were crowding into another turn. Junior and Kyle Larson made contact, domino’d into Patrick, who spun. Again, not very gentlemanly. She spun right in front of Ricky Stenhouse Jr. That ended the day for the boyfriend, as Patrick finished 17th in an event that promised to be better.

    There are 20 bonus points up for grabs each race, not counting the World 600. Some, like Martin Truex Jr., enjoy collecting those points and the additional playoff markers that winning a stage delivers. Sometimes, that is about the only thing you come away with. Truex won the opening stage but saw his engine expire in the third. He finished last, but he did collect 11 points on the day.

    Some want the bonus points, and some could not care less. Everything Kevin Harvick did on the day, especially their pit strategy, was to be there up front in the end. No bonus except what comes with winning. It was Harvick’s first win of the season, the 36th of his career and his first on a road course. The win turned a very likely playoff appearance into almost a sure thing.

    Harvick got the win, chalked up 40 points for the race, but others collected more. Denny Hamlin (fourth) managed 46 and Brad Keselowski (third) earned 43 to pad their own collections. Just as 40+ points equates into a good day, below 20 means things could have gone better. We already talked about Truex, but Larson had the pole, finished third in the opening stage, but finished 26th. Same low grades for Erik Jones and Trevor Bayne.

    Of note was the runner-up finish of Clint Bowyer. He pops four points ahead of Matt Kenseth in the fight for that final Chase berth, and within seven of Joey Logano. Ten are locked in with wins, leaving six presently open to being determined by points. There are just 10 races to go to see if someone might break some hearts.

    Some break hearts, some help break your bank account. If I were a crew chief, I would insist on the crew being part of my family. Kyle Busch, who lost one crew chief due to suspension for no lug nuts, might lose his replacement for missing a pair of them at Sonoma. At least if my sons were my tire changers, I could deduct the fines coming my way from their inheritance. There is an idea for a new family tradition.

    Dale Earnhardt Jr. could be a heart breaker next week. He might be just 22nd in points, but a win would certainly shake things up as he wraps up his career. Just as a win at Sonoma did wonders for Tony Stewart in his final season, same goes for Earnhardt. Why would I put forth Junior as a possible winner at Daytona? Tradition, of course.

    Tradition!

  • Hot 20-California to make a sharp turn to the right, but only on the race track at Sonoma

    Hot 20-California to make a sharp turn to the right, but only on the race track at Sonoma

    It is ironic that the two tracks that feature folks turning to the right are in California and New York, where you would think left would be the preferred direction. Sonoma is the perfect venue to feature our hot drivers, with temperatures this week in the 90s, though promises to be in the low 80s come Sunday. It a facility well used, with 340 days of racing events featured annually.

    This is no oval in the sunshine. Its undulating geography has them rise up through the second and third turns, where the inside tires ride higher than the outside. Uphill they go, through the chute before heading back down to reach the hairpin left-hand 11th turn. Then, it is a race to the finish line to complete the 1.99-mile journey.

    Sonoma is where Tony Stewart claimed his final career victory, his third on the track. Only six active drivers remain who have claimed a win there. Kyle Busch has a pair. The other five include Kurt Busch, Jimmie Johnson, Martin Truex Jr., Kasey Kahne and Stewart’s employee, Clint Bowyer. The latter pair sure could use another one about now.

    No matter how your season has been going, a victory on the road course would make everything seem alright…just not alt.right. That is a totally different deal apparently.

    The Hot 20 heading to Sonoma include…

    1. JIMMIE JOHNSON – 3 WINS – 449 Pts
    After signing up for an additional three seasons, wants Chad Knaus to join him.

    2. KYLE LARSON – 2 WINS – 640 Pts
    17th at Martinsville. 14th at Richmond. 33rd at Charlotte. 12th or better everywhere else.

    3. MARTIN TRUEX JR. – 2 WINS – 635 Pts
    When you count playoff points, Truex becomes our leader.

    4. BRAD KESELOWSKI – 2 WINS – 476 Pts
    Some say he could be the new man in the 88. Others say they then would burn their 88 gear.

    5. RYAN BLANEY – 1 WIN – 376 Pts
    Embrace your Nickelback adoration and become Hanna, Alberta’s most beloved driver.

    6. KURT BUSCH – 1 WIN – 359 Pts
    Sonoma is wine country. Wine comes from grapes. Grapes grow on Busch’s. Okay, it’s a theory.

    7. RICKY STENHOUSE JR. – 1 WIN – 354 Pts
    When my wife has a bad day at the office, we don’t talk about work. Thought I might mention it.

    8. RYAN NEWMAN – 1 WIN – 344 Pts
    I briefly saw Newman at Michigan. Once, but I did see him.

    9. AUSTIN DILLON – 1 WIN – 297 Pts
    Former Air Force fan sent him his flight gloves. My biggest fan is a proctologist. I want nothing.

    10. KYLE BUSCH – 510 PTS
    Has led in each of the past six races, and won the All-Star race. I do not think he has to worry.

    11. KEVIN HARVICK – 508 PTS
    From DeLana to Joey: “Congrats! Now you’ll really see who wears the fire suit in the family.”

    12. CHASE ELLIOTT – 478 PTS
    Runner-up finish last week was his best, to add to his handful of Top Fives in 15 attempts.

    13. JAMIE MCMURRAY – 450 PTS
    If his teammate can win, he can win. Next iconic race comes up soon in Daytona.

    14. DENNY HAMLIN – 430 PTS
    Was fourth on Sunday, which is good. Won the Xfinity race on Saturday (sort of), but who gives a damn?

    15. JOEY LOGANO – 398 PTS – 1 Win
    Encumbered is a fancy way of saying wins without benefits.

    16. MATT KENSETH – 398 PTS
    Fun fact: Only those currently in a Chase place have earned a playoff point this season.

    17. CLINT BOWYER – 391 PTS
    His boss won at Sonoma last year, he won in 2012, and Clint might need to do it again.

    18. ERIK JONES – 346 PTS
    Was racing recently in Senoia, Georgia. I wonder if he got to meet Carl, Rick, Daryl, and Negan?

    19. TREVOR BAYNE – 323 PTS
    This month he has a win and now Levi Jensen Bayne. It has been a great June for Trevor.

    20. DANIEL SUAREZ – 313 PTS
    Older drivers still rule, as just nine of this group of twenty are 20-somethings.

     

  • Hot 20 – Talladega could not have come at a better time

    Hot 20 – Talladega could not have come at a better time

    NASCAR is losing steam. Surprise! It is not exactly news, but this week comments made by the top brass yet again reminded us of what has been going on for about a decade now. NASCAR got its big TV contract in 2001 to bring the action nationwide. It lost one of its legends in that opening race, then his son became part of a very compelling and riveting story line, and a fad was born. Everybody who was anybody jumped aboard the bandwagon. That lasted until the economic downturn following the 2007 season. The good times came to a grinding halt, and have not yet returned. As Merle Haggard used to ask, “Are the good times really over for good?”

    Once upon a time, but a time not so far away, 112,000 seats surrounded the track at Richmond. Today, they number 60,000. Last Sunday, only half of them had butt cheeks draped upon them. This week, NASCAR boss Brian France says his sport is not the only one having trouble enticing fans to leave their electronic devices behind, especially those tuned into his races, to make the trek to see the action live. They are having a summit next month in Charlotte, joined by experts, to seek out some answers. Charlotte track owner Humpy Wheeler has his own answers. Get rid of the aero push, the thing that gives the leader in clean air a distinct advantage, once and for all. Do that and then see the return of on-track excitement, the return of duels for the lead, the return of rivalries, and the return of the fans. Simple solution, but one they have been unable to solve for nearly twenty years.

    NASCAR was here long before Dale Earnhardt Jr. and it will be there long after he leaves. Sure sounds strong, defiant, and even true to some degree. However, compare how much merchandise Junior moves and compare it to anyone else…hell…everyone else, and you might just notice a few beads of sweat on the foreheads of NASCAR’s big shots. In the past, big stars left but it was all small potatoes back then compared to today. Dale Earnhardt died, but his son was there pick up some of the slack. Today, Junior is planning on going. Jeff Gordon, Tony Stewart, and Carl Edwards are already gone. Can Kyle Larson, Chase Elliott, Ryan Blaney, Erik Jones, Daniel Suarez, and the Dillon brothers keep those rabid fans in tow, the ones who will hang around no matter what? That is the question.

    Few tracks pretty much guarantee excitement. Talladega happily is one of them. Multiple lead changes, the potential of mayhem each and every lap, and the thrills that it brings. You do not need an Earnhardt to present that. You sure do when you go to Kansas for the next contest, and we return to a 1.5-mile oval and the same old, same old. Without the likes of Junior to cheer for, the lukewarm supporters will once again dissipate like a mist in the wind. They might return for the all-star event, they might catch the World 600 at Charlotte later this month, or next month’s road course challenge at Sonoma, then the Firecracker 400 at Daytona in July. Kansas, Dover, Pocono, and Michigan each have two events scheduled this season, with the first coming our way in May and June. Think about that, then tell me “how bad have you got it?” Exactly.

    Talladega could not come at a better time. Here is to the hot action for our Hot 20 in Alabama on Sunday afternoon.

    1. BRAD KESELOWSKI – 2 WINS – 327 PTS
    Junior might be the current King of Talladega, but with four wins Brad is the Crown Prince.

    2. JIMMIE JOHNSON – 2 WINS – 270 PTS
    When did they start painting the walls to look like Junior’s car?

    3. KYLE LARSON – 1 WIN – 398 PTS
    “I would race a lot more if I was allowed to. That’s why I feel like I’m the last true racer.”

    4. MARTIN TRUEX JR. – 1 WIN – 358 PTS
    Having a decent season, but imagine how good it would be if not for all those damned penalties.

    5. JOEY LOGANO – 1 WIN – 333 PTS
    Joey is sad. He heard Rowdy got a commitment line penalty at Richmond. The tears are flowing.

    6. RYAN NEWMAN – 1 WIN – 225 PTS
    In 30 starts, just five Top Fives, with his best being third eight years ago. You can save on the suds.

    7. KURT BUSCH – 1 WIN – 192 PTS
    When it came to Dale Earnhardt and Mr. Busch, oh well-a bird, bird, bird; bird is a word.

    8. CHASE ELLIOTT – 346 PTS
    Driving for Hooters this weekend. Make up your own joke.

    9. KEVIN HARVICK – 286 PTS
    Bloomin’ good result resulted in Outback Steakhouse giving away Bloomin’ Onions. Really.

    10. JAMIE MCMURRAY – 282 PTS
    Jamie only wins on the biggest stages. This would be one of them.

    11. CLINT BOWYER – 266 PTS
    Not as vile as Colbert, but he can sometimes string together some hot phrases on the radio.

    12. KYLE BUSCH – 235 PTS
    Five minutes. No crews, no officials, no cameras. Just five minutes is all he asks.

    13. DENNY HAMLIN – 231 PTS
    With Kyle, Denny, and Matt all here, the lack of Joe Gibbs wins is truly a non-story.

    14. RYAN BLANEY – 229 PTS
    Only five points earned over the past two events, with four of the past six outside the Top 20.

    15. TREVOR BAYNE – 216 PTS
    Still only one Cup win to his credit, but if you have to win just one…he picked well.

    16. RICKY STENHOUSE JR. – 201 PTS
    Joining Martin and Sherry, along with a host of others, in Catwalk for a Cause later this month.

    17. ERIK JONES – 193 PTS
    Lasted less than five laps last week, earned just one point. Talladega just has to be better.

    18. MATT KENSETH – 192 PTS
    Richmond was a race that proved to be 237 laps too long. Before that, he had a very nice day.

    19. ARIC ALMIROLA – 189 PTS
    The “other” drivers with more than one win in the No.43…Bobby Hamilton (2) and Jim Paschal (2).

    20. KASEY KAHNE – 179 PTS
    Krispy Kasey Kahne went cycling last week and, as Gollum might say, “It burns us.”

  • NASCAR Top-10 Power Rankings: Texas

    NASCAR Top-10 Power Rankings: Texas

    Note: The quotes in this article are fictional.

    1. Kyle Larson: Larson finished second at Texas, his fourth runner-up of the season, and remains the Monster Energy Cup points leader.

    “Given a few more laps,” Larson said, “I think I could have caught Jimmie Johnson for the win. Given a few more lifetimes, I think I could have caught him in the number of Cup championships won.”

    2. Martin Truex Jr.: Truex finished eighth at Texas, posting his fourth top 10 of the year.

    “We definitely had the car to better that eighth-place finish,” Truex said, “so I’m disappointed. If I had it to do over, I think we could have pulled out the win. So, talk about ‘resurfacing’ all you like; it’s the thought of ‘re-finishing‘ that intrigues me.”

    3. Chase Elliott: Elliott posted his fifth top-10 finish of the year with a ninth at Texas, and remained second in the points standings, 17 behind Kyle Larson,

    “Winds were gusting up to 25 miles per hour,” Elliott said, “which means they were faster than Jeffrey Earnhardt.”

    4. Brad Keselowski: Keselowski finished sixth in the O’Reilly Auto Parts 400 at Texas, recording his sixth top-10 result of the year.

    “Only at Texas does the winner get to put on a cowboy hat and fire a set of replica six-shooters,” Keselowski said. “Jimmie Johnson had that honor on Sunday. It’s certainly not the first time for JJ; he’s won seven times at Texas. And, judging by Jimmie’s dehydration issue after the race, I’m guessing he went to the bathroom and shot even more blanks.”

    5. Joey Logano: Logano led late at Texas but couldn’t hold off a charging Jimmie Johnson, who took the lead with 16 laps to go. Logano finished second and is fifth in the points standings, 72 out of first.

    “Much like a Kyle Busch punch,” Logano said, “Jimmie went by me like I wasn’t even there.”

    6. Ryan Blaney: Blaney won the first and second stage in the O[Reilly Auto Parts 400, but faded to a 12th place finish.

    “My last pit stop cost me,” Blaney said. “I overshot my pit stall and that blew my chance of winning. Obviously, my crew assumes I’ll hit my marks perfectly when I pit. I didn’t, and that’s been the story of my year because I’ve been ‘exceeding expectations’ all season.”

    7. Kevin Harvick: Harvick started on the pole at Texas and finished fourth, posting his first top five of the season.

    “I’ve never won at Texas,” Harvick said. “I seem to be cursed at that track. Heck, as one of NASCAR’s least-liked drivers, I believed I’m ‘cursed’ at every track.”

    8. Kyle Busch: Busch came home with a disappointing 15th at Texas, ending a streak of three consecutive top-10 finishes.

    “Ozzy Osbourne visited my pit box during the race,” Busch said. “If Ozzy is the ‘Prince Of Darkness,’ my complexion says I’m the ‘Prince Of Lightness.’”

    9. Jimmie Johnson: Johnson started from the very rear at Texas and passed Joey Logano with 17 laps to go, then cruised to his first win of the season.

    “After a slow start to our season,” Johnson said, “it’s great to finally get a win. But I’m not satisfied. I’m hungry for more, but not as thirsty as I was for fluids after the race. My car’s fluid delivery system malfunctioned, so I needed three bags of intravenous fluids. It’s certainly not the first case of a ‘three-bagger’ making an appearance in a NASCAR infield.”

    10. Jamie McMurray: McMurray finished seventh at Texas, joining Chip Ganassi Racing teammate Kyle Larson in the top 10.

    “The Texas Motor Speedway track was recently repaved,” McMurray said. “So, race-winner Jimmie Johnson picked the perfect time to ‘resurface.’”

  • Hot 20 – If you like Texas Bobbleheads, just nod yes…over…and…over…again.

    Hot 20 – If you like Texas Bobbleheads, just nod yes…over…and…over…again.

    Texas is next on the dance card this weekend, an apropos venue to hear about Bellator and Monster Energy getting together to present some pre-race smackdowns, some good ole fashioned ass whippin’s, some unscripted mayhem. In their desire to make NASCAR cool and hip again, or whatever is considered trendy in today’s vernacular, Monster Energy plans on presenting some MMA matches prior to some selected events. Sounds like they are just going to try and recreate a Berkley peace march.

    Maybe you could have Kyle Busch get together with Ricky Stenhouse Jr. for a little pre-race activity. After Stenhouse bumped Kyle to get back on the lead lap at the end of Stage 2 at Martinsville, accomplishing the task while allowing Chase Elliott to slip ahead for the Stage win, once again we seem to have a burning Busch on our hands.

    Ricky’s pal, Danica Patrick, along with Tony Stewart have had their likenesses enshrined in Milwaukee’s Bobblehead Hall of Fame and Museum. Just nod your head repeatedly in agreement.

    In 2014, Hall of Famer (baseball version) Tony La Russa saw bobbleheads produced showing him in both the colors of the Athletics and the White Sox. At Phoenix, he was decked out in those of Shell/Pennzoil when the 72-year old dropped by the Team Penske garage to visit with Joey Logano. Come to think of it, didn’t Kyle Busch want to turn Logano into a bobblehead a couple of weeks ago?

    Sunday is Texas…with not 38 or 39 on the entry list, but a full 40! Well, they do like things bigger there, including the race field it seems.  As for these boys listed below, they will indeed be our Hot 20. Temps for Dallas are forecast for the mid-80s F come race day.

    1. BRAD KESELOWSKI – 2 WINS – 234 PTS
    The King of his Kesel (owski)?

    2. KYLE LARSON – 1 WIN – 268 PTS
    Visited the rocket center in Huntsville, but even Smoky could not have put a Saturn V in his car.

    3. MARTIN TRUEX JR. – 1 WIN – 236 PTS
    Best damn driver at Martinsville…for the opening stage.

    4. RYAN NEWMAN – 1 WIN – 152 PTS
    This just in. Newman plans to play in Texas, yet has not a single fiddler in the band.

    5. KURT BUSCH – 1 WIN – 119 PTS
    That Daytona win is looming larger and larger with each subpar performance since.

    6. CHASE ELLIOTT – 264 PTS
    Over his past ten, an average finish of 8.3 with six Top Tens. That will do for now.

    7. JOEY LOGANO – 207 PTS
    With MMA fights coming to some NASCAR events, are you ready to rumble, Joey?

    8. KYLE BUSCH – 188 PTS
    Pre-race? Hell, shouldn’t they be having the fights after the race?

    9. RYAN BLANEY – 179 PTS
    His dad was a North Carolina Cup driver. The boy is the same…just better..as dad had hoped.

    10. CLINT BOWYER – 174 PTS
    Top Tens in three of his past four…nothing worse than 13th in last five.

    11. JAMIE MCMURRAY – 163 PTS
    Must have thought he had Flintstone tires at Martinsville…but it eroded away just the same.

    12. KEVIN HARVICK – 154 PTS
    This Sunday, they will feature Danica. In November, Texas will hand out Harvick bobbleheads.

    13. KASEY KAHNE – 146 PTS
    Junior was fine, but his Chevy McChevy face got all steamed up with Kahne.

    14. ERIK JONES – 144 PTS
    While everyone is talking about Larson, another young gun is quietly working his way up.

    15. JIMMIE JOHNSON – 141 PTS
    Oh, my God, what’s wrong with Jimmie? Well, if this is running bad, imagine him running good.

    16. TREVOR BAYNE – 140 PTS
    His 14th Texas start? Damn, time does fly by.

    17. DENNY HAMLIN – 139 PTS
    Made contact with Danica at Martinsville, and wound up in a wall of hurt…and a garage of tears.

    18. ARIC ALMIROLA – 127 PTS
    Best showing since Daytona? 14th.

    19. AUSTIN DILLON – 126 PTS
    Coming off his best win of the season, he is taking the big hat to Texas. Seems about right.

    20. RICKY STENHOUSE JR. – 113 PTS
    The most relevant 27 remain in the Top 27…or at least that is what he keeps trying to tell her.

  • NASCAR Top-10 Power Rankings: Martinsville

    NASCAR Top-10 Power Rankings: Martinsville

    Note: The quotes in this article are fictional.

    1. Brad Keselowski: Keselowski passed Kyle Busch with 43 laps and cruised to the win at Martinsville, earning his first win at the Virginia short track.

    “This was my first win at Martinsville,” Keselowski said. “I’m pleased to get my first grandfather clock trophy because it’s about ‘time.’

    “And speaking of ‘time,’ Paul Wolfe is not yet serving time for his suspension for a failed inspection incurred at Phoenix. And we all know what appealing a suspension for which you are clearly guilty is: ‘buying time.’”

    2. Kyle Larson: Larson finished 17th at Martinsville, snapping his streak of four consecutive races in the top 2. He remains the leader in the Monster Energy Cup points standings, four points ahead of Chase Elliott in second.

    “Two of the youngest drivers lead the points standings,” Larson said. “Some of the veterans like to joke that Chase and I are still in diapers. That’s funny and all, but everyone in NASCAR knows that the thing most akin to diapers in this sport is the points format, because, apparently, it ‘needs changing’ all the time.”

    3. Martin Truex Jr.: Truex won Stage 1 at Martinsville and eventually finished 16th at Martinsville.

    “I like the added intensity that stage racing brings to NASCAR,” Truex said. “It’s answered some questions that have long been asked in racing circles, like ‘Can the 80th lap of a race be just as exciting as the final lap?’ Or, ‘Could Kyle Busch’s fuse be shorter?’”

    4. Chase Elliott: Elliott finished third in the STP 500 at Martinsville, posting his third top five of the season.

    “Martinsville is the shortest track on the NASCAR circuit,” Elliott said. “It’s only ½-mile around. Some NASCAR fans call it a ‘paperclip;’ others call it a ‘waistline.’”

    5. Joey Logano: Logano took fourth at Martinsville, posting his third top-five result of the year. He is fifth in the Monster Energy Cup points standings, 61 points out of first.

    “Matt Kenseth finished ninth,” Logano said. “So, as was the case back in November of 2015, my day ended with Kenseth behind me.”

    6. Kyle Busch: Busch finished second at Martinsville after leading a race-high 274 laps. He is sixth in the points standings, 80 out of first.

    “I lost a lengthy battle for the lead with Brad Keselowski,” Busch said. “I blame a faulty set of tires for my failure. I’m very irritated. Not just at those tires, but also at Ricky Stenhouse, Jr., Joey Logano, M&M’s that melt in my hand, and life in general. In other words, ‘Everything is grating.’”

    7. Ryan Newman: Newman finished eighth at Martinsville and is 11th in the points standings.

    “Just for the record,” Newman said, “Danica Patrick and Ricky Stenhouse Jr. did not get engaged. Ricky must be the one holding up things because anyone who’s pissed off Danica knows she’s not afraid to ‘engage’ with anyone.”

    8. Kevin Harvick: Harvick struggled to a 20th-place finish at Martinsville and has yet to post a top-five finish this season.

    “We struggled all day,” Harvick said. “The No. 4 Jimmy Johns Chevrolet was just slow. How slow, you may ask? Well, we were so slow, in honor of our performance, you can walk into any Jimmy Johns, order a sub, and pick it up for free the following day.”

    9. Clint Bowyer: Bowyer scored his second straight top-10 finish with a seventh in the STP 500. He is eighth in the points standings, 94 out of first.

    “I think Tony Stewart is proud of my efforts as of late,” Bowyer said. “And I’m proud to be the guy that was given the opportunity to take over the No. 14 car. But let’s face it, I’ll never be able to truly fill Tony’s seat without 30-40 more pounds in my rear end. In the words of Tony’s long-time lead mechanic, also known as ‘Sir Fixalot,’ ‘Tony’s got back.’”

    10. Ryan Blaney: Blaney finished 25th at Martinsville, posting his worst finish of the season. However, he is seventh in the Monster Energy Cup points standings, 89 behind Kyle Larson.

    “I’m still pleased with my performance so far,” Blaney said. “If you would have told anyone before the season that Ryan Blaney would be seventh in the standings after Martinsville, they would have said ‘Who’s Ryan Blaney?’ And I would have told them, ‘I’m Dave Blaney’s son.’ And they would have said, ‘Who’s Dave Blaney?’ And that makes the Blaney’s a veritable ‘Who’s who?’ of stock car racing.”

  • Hot 20 – Martinsville will boast superb on track talent, but can FOX attract the viewers at home?

    Hot 20 – Martinsville will boast superb on track talent, but can FOX attract the viewers at home?

    The ratings are in. They continue to sink, with anything not being raced at Daytona all down. Daytona was great, the rest were okay. There used to be a time when okay was good enough. That was when, to answer Sheryl Crow’s question, we had it bad. Today, not so much. The passion is gone, at least from a ton of fans. Even the sponsors no longer have the passion, the desire to make those NASCAR-themed spots that were, well, spot on.

    What to do, what to do? The stars have been, and remain, pretty accessible to the fans. Hell, even 79-year old Richard Petty remains a fan favorite and an easy target for an autograph. On the other end of the spectrum, we have Kyle Larson, Chase Elliott, Joey Logano, Ryan Blaney, Erik Jones, Trevor Bayne, and Daniel Suarez leading the way for the 20-somethings. That might bode well for the future, but what about today? If you are a gear-head, the strategy, the setups is something of a draw, but for most folks, when their car is not running well it is simply broken.

    Wasn’t the racing once a lot closer? I know in the old days it was not, not when the winner was a lap or more ahead of the next guy. So, what made NASCAR the “in thing” 20 years ago? They went from southern to national, where a guy like California’s Jeff Gordon would rival the likes of Dale Earnhardt from North Carolina. That created some sparks. They had open-wheel types like Gordon, Tony Stewart, and Juan Pablo Montoya take a turn at the wheel. That caused interest. Danica Patrick arrived and that was interesting, at least for a while. Pack racing might drive the drivers nuts, but it keeps us watching. Again, Daytona was watched, the rest…not so much.

    I love the documentary-styled vignettes on the broadcasts. They always cause me to stop and watch. Is there anything else exciting, such as the broadcasters, the camera angles, the whole television experience to draw us in? Not really. Even the commercials are the same as when you watch NCIS. Seen it already with Gibbs and Ducky, so I’m good. What remains exciting is the talent. It just needs to be showcased a hell of a lot better.

    Now, don’t get me started on XFINITY. Thankfully, Ryan Reed and Justin Allgaier at least won two of the five races. Seventeen of the 25 Top Five positions to date have gone to Cup drivers. Nineteen-year-old William Byron has four Top Tens, but I suspect few know that, or him. That is a problem. I do not know what their ratings are. To be honest, I do not really care.

    Whatever you do, you cannot blame the guys among our Hot 20. Will Larson continue to dominate? Will Elliott get his first win and move to the front of the pack? What can Keselowski do with a car not beat to crap? Can Truex continue to perform well? Will Johnson and Earnhardt continue their climb back into contention? Those are some pretty good questions. I think most are still interested in the answers.

    The trouble is getting them to commit to spending a Sunday afternoon watching it all unfold, rather than to spend just a few minutes in the evening to check the post-race reports. That is like reading the last page of the book to see how the story ends, rather than submerging one’s self into the experience. The Martinsville saga this weekend will be a good one, but the book needs to be spruced up a bit to keep us engaged.

    1. KYLE LARSON – 1 WIN – 243 PTS
    A win, most points, but Martinsville is a challenge he would love to overcome.

    2. BRAD KESELOWSKI – 1 WIN – 214 PTS
    Have the living daylights beat out of your car by the fourth lap, and still finish second? Wow.

    3. MARTIN TRUEX JR. – 1 WIN – 205 PTS
    Tires. He don’t need no fresh stinking tires. On second thought…

    4. RYAN NEWMAN – 1 WIN – 123 PTS
    After ending a 127 race winless streak, the new one is now up to…well…one.

    5. KURT BUSCH – 1 WIN – 118 PTS
    That Daytona win allows him to forget about the results of the past three events.

    6. CHASE ELLIOTT – 214 PTS
    The only thing separating him and the other top guys is the empty win column, and that’s it.

    7. JOEY LOGANO – 174 PTS
    Beat out Larson, Kyle Busch, and Erik Jones to win XFINITY. Again, what is that series for?

    8. JAMIE MCMURRAY – 162 PTS
    Three Top Tens in his last four races. Hey, he doesn’t want teammate Larson to feel alone.

    9. RYAN BLANEY – 157 PTS
    He can say whatever he wants about Junior. Mind you, guess who owns the land he lives on?

    10. KEVIN HARVICK – 147 PTS
    Harvick better win soon. Heck, Keelan is already wearing Larson gear.

    11. CLINT BOWYER – 143 PTS
    October 13, 2012. While he is happy for the moment, it has been awhile since that last win.

    12. KYLE BUSCH – 136 PTS
    Once upon a time, when you mentioned Kyle it meant a guy named Busch.

    13. DENNY HAMLIN – 123 PTS
    Virginia is for Virginians. That is the slogan going into this weekend for Hamlin.

    14. KASEY KAHNE – 122 PTS
    Remembering David Steele.

    15. ERIK JONES – 116 PTS
    Just a win away from a milkshake celebration. Hey, he still is only 20.

    16. TREVOR BAYNE – 114 PTS
    Anywhere in the Top 15 on Sunday would be moral victory.

    17. JIMMIE JOHNSON – 109 PTS
    No, Jimmie is not a god. Superman, yes. A god, no.

    18. ARIC ALMIROLA – 108 PTS
    Andrew Murstein has a drive to win. Richard Petty has 200 as a driver. No pressure, Aric.

    19. DANIEL SUAREZ – 102 PTS
    We now know why Carl Edwards retired. He just wanted to be a coach.

    20. AUSTIN DILLON – 92 PTS
    Where is Junior? He is the guy looming large in Dillon’s mirror.

  • NASCAR Top-10 Power Rankings: California

    NASCAR Top-10 Power Rankings: California

    Note: The quotes in this article are fictional.

    1. Kyle Larson: Larson survived four late restarts and pulled away for the win at Fontana, finally snatching a win after three consecutive runner-up finishes.

    “It’s frustrating building a huge lead,” Larson said, “only to have it wiped out by a caution flag. Restarts are dangerous for a race leader, especially when there are four restarts. It’s times like those when it’s imperative to proceed with caution.”

    2. Martin Truex Jr.: Truex finished fourth in the Auto Club 400, posting his second top-five finish of the year.

    “I regret not getting fresh tires on the final pit stop,” Truex said. “It’s not like we didn’t have the tires—we start with 11 sets. And I needed fresh tires to have any chance of catching Kyle Larson. So, I urged my crew chief to ‘burn rubber’ so I could ‘burn rubber.’”

    3. Brad Keselowski: Keselowski overcame damage in an early spin to finish second at Fontana.

    “Kyle Larson was dominant,” Keselowski said. “He could pass cars at will and made it all look so easy. It was like it was ‘Target practice.’”

    4. Chase Elliott: Elliott led the Hendrick Motorsports charge at Fontana, finishing 10th. He is second in the points standings, 29 behind Kyle Larson.

    “I hear Danica Patrick was critical of NASCAR’s reasoning for fining drivers,” Elliott said. “I tend to agree with her. I would say to NASCAR officials sitting smugly in their rules trailer, ‘You can’t have it both ways.’ But NASCAR’s rulings are so subjective, they need to be told, ‘You can’t have it three ways, or four ways.’ And let’s be honest, the only people having ‘three ways’ and ‘four ways’ in trailers are Dale Earnhardt Jr. fans.”

    5. Joey Logano: Logano finished fifth in the Auto Club 400 at Fontana, recording his second top five of the season.

    “Kyle Busch and I raced each other cleanly all weekend at Fontana,” Logano said. “Thank goodness, because I don’t want any more of Kyle’s punches coming my way. As these three boring races out West can attest, one ‘West Coast swing’ is enough.”

    6. Kevin Harvick: Harvick came home 13th at Fontana and is now ninth in the points standings, 106 out of first.

    “Frankly,” Harvick said, “I’ve had enough of the West Coast and its smog. I’m ready to head back East, where we race at classic NASCAR tracks like Martinsville. As you know, aerodynamics don’t play much of a role on a half-mile track. So, those West Coast locations can keep their ‘dirty air.’”

    7. Kyle Busch: Busch finished eighth at Fontana, posting his second top-10 finish of the year.

    “I didn’t have one single run-in with Joey Logano,” Busch said. “And that’s exactly how I’d like it, because I prefer to have ‘no contact’ with him.”

    8. Jamie McMurray: McMurray finished sixth at Fontana.

    “That was a big win for Kyle Larson,” McMurray said. “But not as big as the oversized novelty pair of sunglasses he was wearing after the race. Kyle’s already a diminutive little fellow; with those giant shades on, I’d say he’s the second coming of ‘Slim Shady.’”

    9. Ryan Blaney: Blaney finished ninth in the Auto Club 400 and is now seventh in the Monster Energy Cup points standings, 86 out of first.

    “Kyle Larson was in a minor car accident after leaving Auto Club Speedway after the race,” Blaney said. “Luckily, Kyle walked away without a scratch, which isn’t that big of a surprise, because he was untouchable all day.”

    10. Clint Bowyer: Bowyer finished third at Fontana, posting his first top-five result since the Bristol Night Race in 2015.

    “I’m driving the No. 14 Stewart-Haas Racing car made famous by Tony Stewart,” Bowyer said. “Tony was known as much for his temper as he was for his driving skill, which led to the coining of the phrase, ‘Where there’s Smoke, there’s ire.’”

  • NASCAR Top-10 Power Rankings: Phoenix

    NASCAR Top-10 Power Rankings: Phoenix

    Note: The quotes in this article are fictional.

    1. Kyle Larson: Larson took the runner-up spot at Phoenix, finishing second for the third consecutive time this season.

    “I’ve had more seconds than Jimmy Spencer at dinner,” Larson said. “But I don’t mind at all. Those finishes have put me atop the Monster Energy Cup points standings. So, if you say constantly finishing in the runner-up spot is a good thing, I’ll second that notion.”

    2. Brad Keselowski: Keselowski finished fifth at Phoenix, posting his third consecutive top-five result.

    “My car failed the post-race inspection,” Keselowski said. “As a result, punishment is forthcoming. Ultimately, my crew chief Paul Wolfe will have to take the brunt of the fault. That makes him a ‘Wolfe in goat’s clothing.’”

    3. Martin Truex Jr.: One week after dominating at Las Vegas, Truex finished 11th at Phoenix as Ryan Newman took the win.

    “That was a great call by Newman not to pit,” Truex said. “That’s called ‘rolling the dice,’ and Newman rolled a ‘3’ and a ‘1.’ I’m not sure what game Kyle Busch was playing, but I could have sworn I heard him call ‘craps!’”

    4. Joey Logano: Logano blew a tire and slammed the wall with six laps to go, opening the door for Ryan Newman to steal the win at Phoenix.

    “I hate that my tire issue cost Kyle Busch the win,” Logano said. “But I can no more control a blown tire than Kyle can a blown gasket.”

    5. Kevin Harvick: Harvick finished sixth in the Camping World 500 at Phoenix, bouncing back from a 38th at Las Vegas the previous week.

    “Congratulations to Ryan Newman and Richard Childress Racing,” Harvick said. “Interestingly enough, I was the driver who replaced Newman at Stewart-Haas Racing when I left RCR. I guess the moral of the story is ‘Join RCR, win a race. Leave RCR, win a championship.’”

    6. Kurt Busch: Busch finished a disappointing 25th at Phoenix.

    “My brother Kyle was cruising to an easy victory,” Busch said. “Then Joey Logano wrecked, causing the caution that cost Kyle the win. All that just a week after Logano wrecked Kyle at Las Vegas, leading Kyle to take a swing. It seems NASCAR’s West Swing hasn’t been good for the Kyle-Joey relationship. Now we’re off to Fontana, where those two could take this West Coast feud to another level. I say they settle on the stage, with a microphone. My money’s on Kyle because Logano’s got a ‘bad rap.’”

    7. Kyle Busch: Busch was cruising toward the win at Phoenix before Joey Logano blew a tire and smashed the wall, leading to a caution that allowed Ryan Newman to stay out and take the win. Busch eventually finished third,

    “That’s two weeks in a row Logano has cost me the victory,” Busch said. “Doing it once was bad enough; doing it twice is egregious. I would say he’s just ‘piling on,’ or maybe that’s just his pit crew.”

    8. Chase Elliott: Elliott led 106 laps at Phoenix before posting a 12th-place finish.

    “It was a brutally hot day at the track,” Elliott said. “And even hotter if you were looking at the Monster Energy girls. They really know how to shake it. If you ask me how they’re doing, I would say ‘Everything is gyrate.’”

    9. Jimmie Johnson: Johnson posted his first top-10 finish of the year with a ninth at Phoenix.

    “We’ve struggled so far this season,” Johnson said. “We’ve haven’t been terrible, but we haven’t been good either. While Kyle Busch has made ‘Everything is great’ a popular saying, our catchphrase so far has been ‘Everything is okay.’”

    10. Ryan Newman: Newman remained on the track after Joey Logano’s late crash, outsmarting Kyle Busch and other leaders to take the win in the Camping World 500.

    “That was my first win in 127 races,” Newman said. “That’s a long time. They call me ‘Rocketman,’ because it takes about 3-4 years for me to ‘take off.’

    “Here’s an interesting fact: no driver has won more than one pole this season. And that makes racing much safer for everyone because there’s not a single ‘bi-pole-r’ driver on the track now.”